Ascension: 2017, The Year of Archer
Dec 29, 2016 11:46:58 GMT -5
Joey Flash, John Rabid, and 4 more like this
Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2016 11:46:58 GMT -5
A New Year…
A New Start…
New Years Bash Formally Introduces
The Year of Archer!
Scene: The Brotherhood Compound, December 18th, towards the end of the Last Man Standing match between Adrian Archer and Damian Kaine. Seen from the point of view of Adrian Archer.
As his body collided with the slight frame of a prone Damian Kaine, Adrian immediately had second thoughts about his actions as Damians foot broke loose from the rotted roof, sending both men hurtling into the sleet driven night. As they tumbled, Archers mind began to race while the events unfolded in slow motion around him..
Adrian:(To himself) Oh shit..Oh shit...The Ambulance! Well, its better than the ground..Crap..He’s..Turning...Crafty little bastard….Here we go…
The next sound heard is the crunching and mangling of a windshield meeting human flesh and bone at a velocity of 35 miles per hour plus the momentum of gravity. Our point of view goes dim as Archer lapses from conciousness. Seen past Adrians feet which jut out from where the windshield once was is a collision with the wooden log wall of the compound common area. Somehow, Archer did not fly out through the gaping hole the windshield once occupied, his body wedged between the bench seat and the wheel, folded like an accordion. As the ambulance rolls to a stop, Adrians last conscious vision comes as Damian, who hit the windshield a little better than he, if there is such a thing, rolling out of an open swinging passenger side door, and to his feet..
Adrian: (In a whisper before darkness overtakes him) God damn….
Then darkness….
Scene: A comfortable room overlooking a picturesque farm.
December 24th, 2016
Ugghhh….
Adrian groaned as his eyes allowed light to enter. One blink..then two...Then full awakeness. We aspect away from Adrians point of view to a more general view of the room with a large bed in the center. Surrounding the bed, from head to foot then back around, Karma, Kevin Bishop, Psychopomp(with a cookie of course) Damian Kaine, and Dion Necurat.
Kevin Bishop: Looks like you came to just in time..
Adrian Archer: Where am I?
Kevin Bishop: A safe place my friend, but more specifcally, Lesters room..Well, it was going to be Lesters room..Here on The Brotherhood Farm..
Adrian Archer: But what about the Compound?
Kevin Bishop: You mean whats left of the Compound? Well, we’re still mulling that over. But now, The Brotherhood resides on this lovely farmland.
Maybe it was the daze of being out for the better part of 5 days, but Archer was confused, and it showed in his face. Here were these people, people he had railed on for so long about being a cult and not being legit, taking care of him. It was an amount of selflessness that he was not acustomed to. They could have left him to die.
Kevin Bishop: I can see the confusion on your face...Initially it was Damian, who was mortally wounded himself, who asked if you could recouperate here with us. And although as Brotherhood we take in all of those in need, let me say you earned the respect of not just Damian, but myself and the entire Brotherhood by your tenacity in the fight. For the first time..In a long time..I saw the Adrian Archer I first knew..
Adrian was speechless as the rest of the members smiled, nodded, agreed, and chipped in their congratulations. Adrian sat up…
AGHHHH
Not such a good idea..
Kevin Bishop: Woah there Adrian...You need to take it easy for a few days if you are going to make any sort of appearance at New Years Bash..
Adrian Archer: New Years what?
Karma Bishop: He needs his rest. Just relax Adrian. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.
Adrian settled back down as the present Brotherhood members left. As the door shut, Adrian settled back down to sleep, this time, voluntarily and at peace.
Scene: The Brotherhood Farm, later that same night
As Adrian stepped onto the porch of the farmhouse, fresh off a hot shower with a new change of clothes, he felt the cold air hit his skin and he felt human for the first time in a long time. The Farm was aglow with tables of happy people enjoying a festive Christmas eve feast. Various members including Karma, stood serving steaming hot food to the many people in line holding plates. The smells, the sounds, the atmosphere, made Adrian smile. Here was the Christmas he never thought he would have.
Adrian turned to the left and saw Kevin Bishop sitting on a hill overlooking the feast, and decided to go join him. As Adrian ascended the hill, Bishops gaze never left the camp. He had the same stoic look he always did, but a bit of a smile could be seen on the corner of his lips. Adrian sat on the grassy hillside next to Kevin..
Adrian: Thank you..
Kevin: (Never changing his gaze) For what?
Adrian: For helping me heal up..Giving me a place to recoup..
Kevin: Its what we do. We help people. Besides, you earned safe haven after that match..You and Damian really stole the show..
Adrian: Thanks….
Kevin: So whats on your mind man? You didnt come up here to shoot the shit..
Adrian: Well….I’m at a crossroads Kevin. My whole world is upside down. When I was the Magnificent Bastard, I could hide behind a facade..And now, everyone sees me for what I really am..I’ve lost the match I had to win. I guess I am wondering where to go from here..
Kevin: Well, you got New Years Bash to think about…
Adrian: Yep! No rest for the wicked, huh? I get to face Johnny Blaze, El fuego, and Jay West. Basically it breaks down to 2 Flamers and a guy who sounds like an 80’s Stripper Gram.
Kevin Laughs. Adrian, always one to perform, continues..
Adrian: Okay I mean, first of all, we have Mister Krispy Kreme, El Fuego. This guy looks like a marshmellow thats been on the stick for too long at a campfire. Granted, I have to respect his pain threshold, his whole thing about being the eternal flame, blah blah blah. Well, someone needs to let him know that the Bangles are very upset about his name. “Iss this burrrning...an eternal...FLAME?”
NO!
Its the feeling of being a walking lump of scar tissue heading into the ring with a bona fide superstar. Its the feeling of your scarred and rotten flesh being pounded, and not in the good way I assure you! I wonder when the last time he got laid was? Perhaps his dick got burnt off. Or maybe it looks like one of those Lil Smokies with no bbq sauce. No wonder he is so pissed off! He’s burnt, he’s freakish, and he has a shriveled little toasted pecker.
By now, Kevin is coughing with laughter. Adrian continues.
Adrian: Oh, and Johnny Blaze! Thats original! I’ve only heard that name used by various different people a million times. Strike one for lack of originality! Second, good in the ring, but raw. Raw like hamburger. Hamburger has to be cooked fully because the bacteria are all ground up inside the meat. But this dude, like ground beef, has flaws all throughout! He has not been seasoned properly, or fully cooked. So we got Burnt pecker boy whose overdone, and Johnny Blaze who is underdone. Does that mean Jay West is JUST RIGHT?
NO!
Who? Jay West? Is that like Go West, the band from the 80’s? Their song is called “The King of Wishful Thinking” which is exactly what you are Jay West if you think you are going to get to the final New Years Bash Match! Jay West..Because Jay North would be giving himself too much credit, Jay South would be more appropriate considering his career trajectory, Jay East, no, because it sounds too much like Yeast which reminds him of the infections on his crank, so Jay West it is. A name that sounds like a bad strippogram. “Hi, I’m Jay West..Are you ready to party?” Cue corny ass techno and in struts Jay West with a prosthetic schlong and no rhythm.
The only way these 3 bottom feeders are gonna get over with me in the ring is by sending them over the top rope. Now, theres so many different combinations to the final match, that I am not going to mention them all. A couple of members of Pantheon, who, by the way, are still elitist douchebags, but they are elitist douchebags in charge so I guess that means something? And of course the rest of the bottom feeding Closet Bummers in this fed all vying for a ball full of weapons just so Seth can jerk off to the violence he causes. I swear, if Seth didn’t run WCF, he’d be the next Dahmer killing boys and cutting their heads off and….BEHOLD!
Kevin: What?
Adrian: That’s a huge Turkey!
Kevin: Go get yourself some..You Magnificent Bastard…
Adrian laughs it off..But he was feeling more himself these days..Perhaps he did have some Magnificent Bastard in him left after all..Regardless, he goes to the festivities, welcomed by Damian Kaine to sit at the table of the Brotherhood of wrestlers..
Scene: A Wrestling Ring on the Brotherhood Farm
Dec. 27th, 2016
Seated in the center of a prototypical red barn was a wrestling ring, clad with black ropes, black canvas, and a Brotherhood logo in the center. Kidd Krazzy and Dion Necurat are performing various drills under the watchful eye of Kevin Bishop. Adrian Archer stands outside the ring next to Bishop, arms folded, watching the action. Just then, a white windowless van pulls up and out steps Hank Brown with a cameraman. Adrian turns his attention towards them.
Adrian: A white windowless van...A camera..Why Hank, you headed on another date?
Hank: Shut up Adrian. What the hell are you doing here?
Adrian: Training my good man. Now make yourself useful and hold that speaking device somewhere it actually does some good..
Hank, reluctantly, holds the microphone for Archer. We see Adrian straight on from the cameras point of view.
Adrian: Ladies and Gentlemen..My name is Adrian Archer. I’ve been Triple A talent, and I’ve been a bastard. Hell, I’ve even been beaten by Damian Kaine. But 2017 is a new year my friends! Thanks to a nice quiet stay here on the Brotherhood Farm, I’ve come to realize I am all things you’ve seen. I’m the cold, calculating Triple A..I’m the cocky, arrogant Magnificent Bastard. Above all things, I am a wrestler in the WCF. The next great. A superstar in the making. And now that my demons are in the rear view, its time to kick ass and throw dildos...And I’m all out of dildos..
Hank: What does..
Adrian: SILENCE YOU INSOLENT WINDBAG! GREATNESS SPEAKS WHILE THE LOSER LEAKS..By the way Hank you got some dribble on your fly..HAHA! Gotcha!
BUT I DIGRESS
At New Years Bash, I plan to begin the year of Archer! Adrians Reign! The greatest most significant climb to the top since Donald Freakin Trump! And it starts at New Years Rash!
Hank: Thats Bash..
Adrian: Oh I’m sorry..I had the card confused with Jared Holmes yearly ritual. New Years Bash! I will enter the ring against three men who make the midcard look Epic! We have Del Taco El Silenciso Del Scorcho or whatever his name is! A pickled prune of a man burned so bad you’d think he finished a pickup game with Russell Westbrook! This mass of charred flesh will be one of the first to suffer the wrath of yours truly! And when I cart his steaming rotten carcass over the top rope, I will focus on Jay West. Who? EXACTLY. This dude wrestles like Mae West, is dumb as Kanye West, and is corny like Adam West! And with a name like Jay, you know he’s crunchin butt over at the Blue Oyster! Jay West needs to realize he is not to this caliber yet. Not close, not even within sniffing distance! And after him, Johnny Flippin Blaze, king of the unoriginal gimmick! Please, get a clue young man. With Blaze and Fuego in there, I may have to smack em with my firehose and then after Jay West stops trying to drink from the hose, I’ll bitchslap his wannabe gigalo ass into next week! Then after that comes the Ball Dropping part. No, not where Seth actually kisses a girl he hasn’t paid or stands up to his mom. I’m talking about the grand finale, where all of the qualified appliCUNTS and myself go into a ring where a ball drops, weapons, blah blah blah. Another Lerch Bloodbath. Well, as many men know, its not the weapon you use, but how you use the weapon that determines the winner, and if anyone knows about hardcore, weapons, and survival, its Adrian Archer! And after disposing of those other Morongos so quickly, I’ll be nice and fresh to destroy anyone in my way. Mark my words Hank..2017 will be the year of Adrian Archer..BEHOLD…... THE GREATNESS!
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