Fighting a man from down under
Jul 8, 2016 23:03:08 GMT -5
Stuart Slane, Kevin Bishop, and 1 more like this
Post by Psychopomp on Jul 8, 2016 23:03:08 GMT -5
Reading, PA Wednesday A.M.
The camera opens in one of Reading poorly kept city bus and Psychopomp is there sitting alone, next to a window. He's calmly looking outside at the slowly moving scenery when we can hear "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" from the popular band
The Crash Test Dummies blare from the pocket of his blue jean coat. Pomp softly starts to hum along to one of his favorite song, not realizing that it's flip phone that's making the noise. An old Asian woman that was sitting in the seat behind him roughly tap on his shoulder and yells.
OAW: ANSWER YOU STOOPID PHONE WHITE BOY!!
Pomp shakes his head back to earth and apologize to the old woman and grabs his phone to answer it. It was Gary from Human Resources, calling him about his match this coming week.
Pomp: Wow, really?! That's great!
Gary: You better not ruin this chance Pomp, i'm still getting hate mail from Seth because of all the light dust that YOU left in the ring in your last match!
Pomp: Don't WCF have people to clean up after the matches?
Gary: Look Seth can barely afford to do shows outside of town do you think that he does?!
Pomp: I guess not then...Well I have to catch my bus and think I have a few stops to make...
Gary: Fine, whatever, i don't...
Click
Pomp closes his flip phone and pulls on the chord to stop at the next stop.
The camera cuts
================================================================================
Reading, PA Wednesday late P.M.
(The camera opens inside of Psychopomp Motel room. The camera seems to be placed on the little table that serves him as his 'dining' area in his box shoe hole and we see him enter and throw his backpack on his bed...Which is
about two feet from the table. He then takes off his shoes, coat that he just drops to the floor and comes sit at the table to talk to the camera)
This week I'm up against someone I've never faced before, a champion, a man who's going through a lot of personal problems. Maybe even more than me? BRENT THE SHINE ALPINE! When i heard the news that i was going to face him, I knew I had to dig up information on the guy right away. Him being the Television champ can't be by mistake right? I searched far in wide in all the different salvation army, thrift stores, 7/11 in town to find what I needed...My search ended at the Salvation army on 5th Street. I have it all, all that I need to defeat Mr. BerryShine from the popular TV show 'My little pony'. He probably does the voice over for it. Makes sense! TV champion...does voice over for a TV show for kids...That pig of his probably told him to do that. HAHA! That crazy pig, love him.
Anyway like i was saying...THE tools that I needed to find to have all of Mr. Shine's weaknesses. No this week i won't need to visit the hardware store again, I won't need a trash can full of fun toys to bring to the ring.
No. This time what i will need is going to be in here.
(Pomp points to his head)
I might not be a SWAT team that's hired to take you down but I have everything in here that will make it possible for me to become the new Television Champion!
(Pomp takes out a brown plastic bag from his backpack and starts taking out items one by one)
FIRST! We have have from what I heard, the crowning jewel of Australian filmography...Crocodile Dundee II in VHS, sadly the salvation didn't have the BETAmax and i think it has Russian subtitles for some reason. I will learn
the ways of the Australian, learn their mannerism, the way those crazy Hugh Jackman's and Paul Hogan's think. I will immerse myself in them, I will become one with these people...
(Pomp takes a deep breath to calm himself)
I will learn everything that i need in this movie so that nothing will surprise me in the ring.
(Throws the VHS on his bed and pulls out another object from his bag)
Now this, this will guarantee me victory! This is a book on all of Australia deadliest predators.
(He opens the book at the legend)
I'll just name you a few...let's see...Obviously the rabid Wombat! You don't want to mess with those...The wacky Wallaroo! Don't be fooled by it's smile. (Points inside his book) Ah yes! The crash Bandicoot! The mighty
Platypus, deadly in under water fighting, lest not forget the sinister Kookaburras bird who's mysterious cackling resemble the human laughter and that is just to name a few...I have in this book all the information i need to learn on how to defeat these mighty animals then I can easily learn how to make Mr. ShoeShine pony my pray as they would and take that shining belt from his waist!
(Now Pomp takes out a CD from the bag
)
Next i have Kyle Minogue's greatest hits album 'Ultimate Kylie'. Probably one of Australia most beautiful woman, right Brent? She's not only a great artist but also a great survivor! The two of you might have more in
common that you might think Alpine...Alpine...Alpine? From where in Australia is that from? I'll have to check. Anyway, yes, Kyle and you. Well she's Australian duh so there's one thing in common, you both can reach a high
pitch sound; her when she sings and you when you complain like a little baby that your life is ruin by this invisible person that has a microphone attached to a pig. Another one, she defeated cancer and you look like cancer
defeated you. SO many things in common, the list goes on and on. With this powerful disque I will understand their language and learn their lingo, their native tongue...
And last but not the least! The infamous native food of the Australians...
(Pomp grabs another bag from his back pack with 'dollar store' written on it to pulls out a clear jar with a yellow top and a yellow label)
Vegemite
(Takes a pause)
That ghastly 'thing' that that Ozzy probably ingest every morning with his strawberry pop-tarts. I'll try it in front of you for the first time right now.
(Pomp opens the jar and dips two fingers in the middle and retrieve about a good tablespoon of the dark colored paste and jams it in his mouth. He slowly begins to chew and to chew and stop. You can clearly see by the
reaction of his face that he doesn't like it. After a few seconds Pomp is trying to fight back his gag reflex and quickly finds a trash can to spit that horrible condiments from his mouth
)
WHO WOULD MAKE THAT!? OH MY GOD IT'S SO HORRIBLE!
(Spits more in the trash can)
What's in that thing?!
(He quickly grabs the bottle to looks at the label)
Yeast, Vegetables, spices...Why does it taste like the Baron's sweaty armpits?!?
(Pomp grabs the dollar store bag again and grabs a bottle of Almdudler a popular Australian soft drink and gulps it down)
Oh wow, this tasted almost good enough to wash away that vegicrap taste from my mouth...At least you can make a decent sugary drink down there...
(Pomp throws the rest of the jar in trash can sinking in his vomit like Vegemite)
I got all this for one reason, becoming the new Television champion! Your reign will be one of the shortest the WCF will have seen. I had a taste when I had the chance to win the United State tittle and I think it would look
a lot better around me.
(Pomp turns back to turn on his television and grabs his tape to insert in it the VHS player)
Now if you excuse me I need to get ready for my match!
( The movie starts playing on the 14 color inch TV and the camera decides to shut itself down to not watch one of Paul Hogan's classic film)
The camera opens in one of Reading poorly kept city bus and Psychopomp is there sitting alone, next to a window. He's calmly looking outside at the slowly moving scenery when we can hear "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" from the popular band
The Crash Test Dummies blare from the pocket of his blue jean coat. Pomp softly starts to hum along to one of his favorite song, not realizing that it's flip phone that's making the noise. An old Asian woman that was sitting in the seat behind him roughly tap on his shoulder and yells.
OAW: ANSWER YOU STOOPID PHONE WHITE BOY!!
Pomp shakes his head back to earth and apologize to the old woman and grabs his phone to answer it. It was Gary from Human Resources, calling him about his match this coming week.
Pomp: Wow, really?! That's great!
Gary: You better not ruin this chance Pomp, i'm still getting hate mail from Seth because of all the light dust that YOU left in the ring in your last match!
Pomp: Don't WCF have people to clean up after the matches?
Gary: Look Seth can barely afford to do shows outside of town do you think that he does?!
Pomp: I guess not then...Well I have to catch my bus and think I have a few stops to make...
Gary: Fine, whatever, i don't...
Click
Pomp closes his flip phone and pulls on the chord to stop at the next stop.
The camera cuts
================================================================================
Reading, PA Wednesday late P.M.
(The camera opens inside of Psychopomp Motel room. The camera seems to be placed on the little table that serves him as his 'dining' area in his box shoe hole and we see him enter and throw his backpack on his bed...Which is
about two feet from the table. He then takes off his shoes, coat that he just drops to the floor and comes sit at the table to talk to the camera)
This week I'm up against someone I've never faced before, a champion, a man who's going through a lot of personal problems. Maybe even more than me? BRENT THE SHINE ALPINE! When i heard the news that i was going to face him, I knew I had to dig up information on the guy right away. Him being the Television champ can't be by mistake right? I searched far in wide in all the different salvation army, thrift stores, 7/11 in town to find what I needed...My search ended at the Salvation army on 5th Street. I have it all, all that I need to defeat Mr. BerryShine from the popular TV show 'My little pony'. He probably does the voice over for it. Makes sense! TV champion...does voice over for a TV show for kids...That pig of his probably told him to do that. HAHA! That crazy pig, love him.
Anyway like i was saying...THE tools that I needed to find to have all of Mr. Shine's weaknesses. No this week i won't need to visit the hardware store again, I won't need a trash can full of fun toys to bring to the ring.
No. This time what i will need is going to be in here.
(Pomp points to his head)
I might not be a SWAT team that's hired to take you down but I have everything in here that will make it possible for me to become the new Television Champion!
(Pomp takes out a brown plastic bag from his backpack and starts taking out items one by one)
FIRST! We have have from what I heard, the crowning jewel of Australian filmography...Crocodile Dundee II in VHS, sadly the salvation didn't have the BETAmax and i think it has Russian subtitles for some reason. I will learn
the ways of the Australian, learn their mannerism, the way those crazy Hugh Jackman's and Paul Hogan's think. I will immerse myself in them, I will become one with these people...
(Pomp takes a deep breath to calm himself)
I will learn everything that i need in this movie so that nothing will surprise me in the ring.
(Throws the VHS on his bed and pulls out another object from his bag)
Now this, this will guarantee me victory! This is a book on all of Australia deadliest predators.
(He opens the book at the legend)
I'll just name you a few...let's see...Obviously the rabid Wombat! You don't want to mess with those...The wacky Wallaroo! Don't be fooled by it's smile. (Points inside his book) Ah yes! The crash Bandicoot! The mighty
Platypus, deadly in under water fighting, lest not forget the sinister Kookaburras bird who's mysterious cackling resemble the human laughter and that is just to name a few...I have in this book all the information i need to learn on how to defeat these mighty animals then I can easily learn how to make Mr. ShoeShine pony my pray as they would and take that shining belt from his waist!
(Now Pomp takes out a CD from the bag
)
Next i have Kyle Minogue's greatest hits album 'Ultimate Kylie'. Probably one of Australia most beautiful woman, right Brent? She's not only a great artist but also a great survivor! The two of you might have more in
common that you might think Alpine...Alpine...Alpine? From where in Australia is that from? I'll have to check. Anyway, yes, Kyle and you. Well she's Australian duh so there's one thing in common, you both can reach a high
pitch sound; her when she sings and you when you complain like a little baby that your life is ruin by this invisible person that has a microphone attached to a pig. Another one, she defeated cancer and you look like cancer
defeated you. SO many things in common, the list goes on and on. With this powerful disque I will understand their language and learn their lingo, their native tongue...
And last but not the least! The infamous native food of the Australians...
(Pomp grabs another bag from his back pack with 'dollar store' written on it to pulls out a clear jar with a yellow top and a yellow label)
Vegemite
(Takes a pause)
That ghastly 'thing' that that Ozzy probably ingest every morning with his strawberry pop-tarts. I'll try it in front of you for the first time right now.
(Pomp opens the jar and dips two fingers in the middle and retrieve about a good tablespoon of the dark colored paste and jams it in his mouth. He slowly begins to chew and to chew and stop. You can clearly see by the
reaction of his face that he doesn't like it. After a few seconds Pomp is trying to fight back his gag reflex and quickly finds a trash can to spit that horrible condiments from his mouth
)
WHO WOULD MAKE THAT!? OH MY GOD IT'S SO HORRIBLE!
(Spits more in the trash can)
What's in that thing?!
(He quickly grabs the bottle to looks at the label)
Yeast, Vegetables, spices...Why does it taste like the Baron's sweaty armpits?!?
(Pomp grabs the dollar store bag again and grabs a bottle of Almdudler a popular Australian soft drink and gulps it down)
Oh wow, this tasted almost good enough to wash away that vegicrap taste from my mouth...At least you can make a decent sugary drink down there...
(Pomp throws the rest of the jar in trash can sinking in his vomit like Vegemite)
I got all this for one reason, becoming the new Television champion! Your reign will be one of the shortest the WCF will have seen. I had a taste when I had the chance to win the United State tittle and I think it would look
a lot better around me.
(Pomp turns back to turn on his television and grabs his tape to insert in it the VHS player)
Now if you excuse me I need to get ready for my match!
( The movie starts playing on the 14 color inch TV and the camera decides to shut itself down to not watch one of Paul Hogan's classic film)