Greetings, once again, from New Orleans!
Mar 27, 2016 23:38:10 GMT -5
Logan, Oblivion, and 15 more like this
Post by The Polar Phantasm on Mar 27, 2016 23:38:10 GMT -5
......./*Incoming transmission from Iceberg-Seven*/
I still function.
For those of you who don't know me; welcome to the rest of your lives, as now that you have met me you can never go back. My acquaintance will haunt you forever as it does the rest of these poor bastards. For those of you who do know me... well, sorry I went missing again. Girlfriend I moved in with turned out to be a total passive-aggressive nightmare, lost my job on Lundi Gras (last year!) due to a massive panic attack...then just kinda slunk into a haze of anti-depressants and video games, from which I am still crawling by the skin of my anxiously-chewed fingers.
My name is Brian Bonhagen and I'm a standup comedian from New Orleans, LA (USA... sorta. We only vaguely claim to be Americans, and America only claims we're part of it when it wants our oil). I've been a comedian since August 2006 (after surviving Katrina, I figured I could live through performing comedy for people- turned out to be right about that, as well as pretty good at the comedy thing). I'm also a tempermental fiction writer, which is why I keep ending up back here- aside from being my all-time favorite writing community on or off-line, WCF makes me write on a deadline (which that rat bastard Seth makes me adhere to no matter how much I love him or how many pictures of my penis I send him). Aside from my occasional major psychological episodes (most of which would make for really funny promos if they weren't actual real-life morasses of hell), I haven't felt this good in years.
I also haven't felt this creatively repressed in years. Not since a few years back, anyway, when I wandered onto this site in the middle of the night one Spring evening and posted an application for Kid Phantasm. I had a lot of crazy to get out of me, and I had an insane amount of fun doing it. Hopefully, Wrestling Gods willing, I can get down with my bad self again.
I felt like my last (very brief) return disgraced me, and I honestly didn't think I could ever look a lot of you in the internet-forum-based-writing-collective eyes again after exploding kinda and vanishing for over a year. I've been on a tremendous slump, both in my personal life (haven't been laid since December 2014) and professional life (haven't had a paying job, comedy or otherwise, since February 2015) and I figure the only way it's gonna get broken is to tap into the powers of e-fed madness I know I've got bottled up in here somewhere. Even then, I only decided to come back because of two people... they asked me to return, and seeing as how they were two of the people I was most worried wouldn't want to fuck with me anymore after meltdown number... 3? Shit, I need someone to keep score. I lose to my own brain about as much as I've ever lost in the ring.
So anyway- thank you to two of my favorite people I've ever met on the internet, Curt and Frank... I can blame an awful lot of the fun I've had being the Phantasm over the last few years on writing with you two, and I will always be proud to say you're among the best friends I made here (where I made so many damn friends I've lost count).
I'm sure there's already been the announcement that Polar will be returning to the ring May 13th to wrestle Franky P. Vengeance/Frankish P. Violence/third name I'm too lazy to make up here- among many things, this will give me a chance to help out Polar's sad career record at XIII events (hehe, one time I lost to Oblivion because I unexpectedly spent two days in bed with a woman; as acceptable as a reason for losing at XIII as that is, I still feel like I let Curt down. And Doc Henry, too. He told me to make her call me Doc and I totally forgot). That said, I've been discussing a legit Polar return for a while in text exchanges with some of those who have my number (same one it's always been, for those of you who still have it)... it was great to hear from you guys, btw, especially Bryan (Jeff Purse) and Marian (Reb, or a Reb-like analogue... I care not, I love the shit out of some Reb no matter what Reb Reb is today). You guys made me want to come home even when I didn't think I should.
By the way... I know better now. I'm the Polar fucking Phantasm- where the fuck else should I be?
Promo to follow in the next day or two, then we'll see. I have very little idea of what's going on in WCF these days, but I'm ok with that... it'll be nice to see if Polar at 25 (Brian at 35) can do what Kid P at 22 (Brian at 32) could do so easily. Fit into this weird-ass locker room, I mean... I mean no more super-team plans from jump street, no wrestling as a tag-team with Nightmare (somebody's gotta take care of the now-3 year old Jeffrey Bankston, right?), no more Pantheon or Cryogenix. Just Cam Bankston Jr. and... ok, well, he's still got a humorous supporting cast, a robot Logan as a butler (BOUDLEBUTLER!), a fairly serious marijuana habit, a talking supercomputer, a fortified compound buried beneath the Rocky Mountains and a mansion in Las Vegas located next door to (Mr. Vegas himself) Wayne Newton.
Oh, yeah. For those of you just meeting me, I should probably mention that I'm kind of insane. Though you may have gathered that by now... for the rest of you, though, this all should read as proof enough that I'm still me.
Talk to me, I'll be around. If you don't like me being back, blame Frank and Curt. They will probably tell you to fuck yourself, but blame them anyway.
Next stop, Reading.
-B.
(...still vaguely indestructible.)
I still function.
For those of you who don't know me; welcome to the rest of your lives, as now that you have met me you can never go back. My acquaintance will haunt you forever as it does the rest of these poor bastards. For those of you who do know me... well, sorry I went missing again. Girlfriend I moved in with turned out to be a total passive-aggressive nightmare, lost my job on Lundi Gras (last year!) due to a massive panic attack...then just kinda slunk into a haze of anti-depressants and video games, from which I am still crawling by the skin of my anxiously-chewed fingers.
My name is Brian Bonhagen and I'm a standup comedian from New Orleans, LA (USA... sorta. We only vaguely claim to be Americans, and America only claims we're part of it when it wants our oil). I've been a comedian since August 2006 (after surviving Katrina, I figured I could live through performing comedy for people- turned out to be right about that, as well as pretty good at the comedy thing). I'm also a tempermental fiction writer, which is why I keep ending up back here- aside from being my all-time favorite writing community on or off-line, WCF makes me write on a deadline (which that rat bastard Seth makes me adhere to no matter how much I love him or how many pictures of my penis I send him). Aside from my occasional major psychological episodes (most of which would make for really funny promos if they weren't actual real-life morasses of hell), I haven't felt this good in years.
I also haven't felt this creatively repressed in years. Not since a few years back, anyway, when I wandered onto this site in the middle of the night one Spring evening and posted an application for Kid Phantasm. I had a lot of crazy to get out of me, and I had an insane amount of fun doing it. Hopefully, Wrestling Gods willing, I can get down with my bad self again.
I felt like my last (very brief) return disgraced me, and I honestly didn't think I could ever look a lot of you in the internet-forum-based-writing-collective eyes again after exploding kinda and vanishing for over a year. I've been on a tremendous slump, both in my personal life (haven't been laid since December 2014) and professional life (haven't had a paying job, comedy or otherwise, since February 2015) and I figure the only way it's gonna get broken is to tap into the powers of e-fed madness I know I've got bottled up in here somewhere. Even then, I only decided to come back because of two people... they asked me to return, and seeing as how they were two of the people I was most worried wouldn't want to fuck with me anymore after meltdown number... 3? Shit, I need someone to keep score. I lose to my own brain about as much as I've ever lost in the ring.
So anyway- thank you to two of my favorite people I've ever met on the internet, Curt and Frank... I can blame an awful lot of the fun I've had being the Phantasm over the last few years on writing with you two, and I will always be proud to say you're among the best friends I made here (where I made so many damn friends I've lost count).
I'm sure there's already been the announcement that Polar will be returning to the ring May 13th to wrestle Franky P. Vengeance/Frankish P. Violence/third name I'm too lazy to make up here- among many things, this will give me a chance to help out Polar's sad career record at XIII events (hehe, one time I lost to Oblivion because I unexpectedly spent two days in bed with a woman; as acceptable as a reason for losing at XIII as that is, I still feel like I let Curt down. And Doc Henry, too. He told me to make her call me Doc and I totally forgot). That said, I've been discussing a legit Polar return for a while in text exchanges with some of those who have my number (same one it's always been, for those of you who still have it)... it was great to hear from you guys, btw, especially Bryan (Jeff Purse) and Marian (Reb, or a Reb-like analogue... I care not, I love the shit out of some Reb no matter what Reb Reb is today). You guys made me want to come home even when I didn't think I should.
By the way... I know better now. I'm the Polar fucking Phantasm- where the fuck else should I be?
Promo to follow in the next day or two, then we'll see. I have very little idea of what's going on in WCF these days, but I'm ok with that... it'll be nice to see if Polar at 25 (Brian at 35) can do what Kid P at 22 (Brian at 32) could do so easily. Fit into this weird-ass locker room, I mean... I mean no more super-team plans from jump street, no wrestling as a tag-team with Nightmare (somebody's gotta take care of the now-3 year old Jeffrey Bankston, right?), no more Pantheon or Cryogenix. Just Cam Bankston Jr. and... ok, well, he's still got a humorous supporting cast, a robot Logan as a butler (BOUDLEBUTLER!), a fairly serious marijuana habit, a talking supercomputer, a fortified compound buried beneath the Rocky Mountains and a mansion in Las Vegas located next door to (Mr. Vegas himself) Wayne Newton.
Oh, yeah. For those of you just meeting me, I should probably mention that I'm kind of insane. Though you may have gathered that by now... for the rest of you, though, this all should read as proof enough that I'm still me.
Talk to me, I'll be around. If you don't like me being back, blame Frank and Curt. They will probably tell you to fuck yourself, but blame them anyway.
Next stop, Reading.
-B.
(...still vaguely indestructible.)