Post by Joey Flash on Oct 1, 2015 7:11:22 GMT -5
Jonny Fly sends his regards
It was the eve before Joseph Malignaggi would commit his future to be part of the Allegri family forever more. Was he having second thoughts? Of course not, those thoughts were up to about a fuckin billion by now, the underlying thing he kept asking himself, that kept him from just disappearing right now was the answer to the one question he kept asking himself about if he ended it and just walked away.
‘Would you regret it?’
The answer to that every time he asked himself was a resounding yes. He had no idea what would be coming for the future, all he knew is at the bottom of his heart all he wanted, all Joseph Malignaggi ever desired in life was a family. He reclined into the chair that sat serenely on the roof of La Societa, he was already drunk and could feel his head whooshing as he looked skyward. The stars were rendered non-existent by the light and the cloud cover; it made him sad for a moment.
The this week would be the most important of Joey’s life, on the Saturday he would marry the woman he loved and on the following Sunday he would be facing his mortal enemy and rival for the biggest prize in professional wrestling. The wedding was one thing, it was a routine and it was ceremony, was the title match that easy? He felt the butterflies in his stomach and the tingling tenseness in his skin just thinking about the match. His entire last year has been building toward this climax, Joey had told reporters earlier this week
“If you’re pounding away for a year then shit you better get the best fucking orgasm of your life.”
It felt to strange to Joey to have such a mind-set heading into this match, every match he had ever been in during his WCF tenure so far he a small shred of doubt, a shred that maybe he wouldn’t get it done, that even if he did he’d be sloppy or fuck up or something. Stupid shit he knew, but thoughts nevertheless. For this match though? Joseph felt an air of calm and unease like none he had ever felt before, facing the titanic Dune should be the single biggest challenge of his career, it should be the one immense force that should be making Joey double take and doubt himself more than any other and yet all he could think of was how easy this match was going to be.
Never in any scenario that played out in his head was this a match that Joey Flash was going to lose, he had watched Dune, studied Dune down to the very core. For all of Joey’s outlandish hubris he was at heart a competitor and a fighter. In any other sport you can lose by a score and go home, think bad about yourself for a while and then get over it, in professional wrestling? If you lose one on one in that ring, you were the one beaten, not your team, not because of the ref, not because of anything else than your own lack of skill and power.
Dune vs Joey Flash, this is the match of the two best wrestlers in the company at the moment, this is the main event of main events, this is the biggest selling Pay Per View match that the WCF will get this year. This is the match Joey has been demanding, campaigning for since he first stepped foot in the company, but to him this match wasn’t so much a contest, but a fucking procession.
A voice, followed by a beer slamming into his gut broke his daydreams.
Fly: Don’t get all pensive on me.
The four time WCF World Champion and future Hall of Famer Jonny Fly plonked himself down in the deckchair next to Joey and cracked his own beer open, guzzling it before dropping it into the pile of empty cans next to him.
Joey: I’m not pensive.
Fly: Not pensive? Don’t give me that, I’ve seen that look, staring at stars and shit, I bet you had a nice little inner train of thought running too didn’t you?
Joey: No.
Fly: Liar!
The two men sat in silence for a moment.
Fly: You doubting yourself like a bitch?
Joey: Give me some credit.
Fly: I was just checking. Look…
Joey: Is this the part you give some fuckin cryptic and ‘sage’ advice?
Fly: No, it’s the part where I say if you lose this match I’m going to stomp your face in.
They look at each other and laugh.
Joey: I’m not worried in the fuckin slightest; this is going to be a cakewalk.
Fly shrugs.
Fly: I dunno Dune’s pretty tough…
Joey: Motherfucker shut up.
Fly: He pinned me.
Joey: Oh yeah Thomas Bates outlasted you in that one didn't-
Fly: Grime.
A single word rendered all of Joey's mocking null and void.
Joey: Fair point. This is in the fucking bag though man, trust me.
Fly: I don't, but go ahead.
Joey: No one in the entire world is thinking any different. The only thing they’re trying to do is convince themselves that Dune has a chance. It’s like when Pacquiao fought Floyd, everybody knew the score going into it and yet to make themselves feel like it was going to be something more than it is in order to enjoy the event more. It makes more people more money if this is the narrative going into this fight. This is a one sided fucking massacre, this isn't a PPV, this is a liveleak viral video, it was going to happen to whoever managed to pull the short straw on facing me for the World Title.
It’s gonna be that Howard Black vs Thomas Bates type shit.
It’s gonna be me doing to Dune what he did to ICE.
This is a top class competitor getting absolutely and thoroughly outclassed in every aspect of professional wrestling.
Fly is gazing off into the distance clearly bored by Joey's nonsensical bloviation before snapping back into reality.
Fly: Fuck. Yeah, that reminds me, I was asked by Seth to give this to you.
Jonny Fly fumbles in his jacket pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper before handing it to Joey.
Joey: What the fuck is this?
Joey looks over the paper.
Fly: Employee evaluation! See, Seth hasn’t left you out. He really does like you you know.
Joey: Right.
Fly: Right. Read that shit.
Joey: Aww, he thinks I'm beautiful.
Seeing Joey's elated little face Fly slumps in the chair and sulks to himself.
Fly: I never get told I'm beautiful. This is sad.
Joey: Wow.
Fly: I say I’m sad and all you have is ‘wow’? Where is your compassion for your fellow man?
Joey: I didn’t know Seth thought that way.
Fly: DID YOU NOT NOTE MY SADNESS?! He’s not even given me my report yet.
Joey: Is that why you’re sad?
Fly: …yes.
Joey: Maybe because you’re his favourite.
Fly: Motherfucking Torture gets an evaluation every week praising him, where is my fucking praise? ICE Beckman was fucking donkey dick and he still gets his sent to whatever ditch he’s living in by courier every week. WHERE IS MY PRAISE?! WHERE IS MY ACCEPTANCE?!
Joey: I’ll suck your dick.
Fly: Where is my fucking- …what?
Joey: Nothing.
Fly: My imagination, fuck man I must be more loaded than I thought.
Joey: Yeah man. Look hang on, do you have any paper?
Fly searches mockingly, patting himself up and down.
Fly: Yeah right next to where I keep my wallet and my keys, of course fucking not.
Joey stands up and struts toward his office.
Fly: Oh for fucks sake…
After a few moments Joey returns, a smile on his face. He proudly hands Fly a piece of shoddy paper sloppily written on.
Fly: What the fuck is-
He breaks into a small smile.
Fly: Okay.
Joey: Huh?
Fly: I’ll do it.
They lock eyes and give each other a handshake so manly and immense it makes Schwarzenegger/Weathers look like two clammy handed Pantheon fans at a Corey Black appreciation night lightly dapping each other.
Joey: It’s pathetic really. I have no one close to me that I can even think to ask, I don’t even fuckin trust you and I’m asking you to be my best man. Pathetic isn’t it?
Fly: Not at all, I’ve betrayed everyone I’ve ever been close to or formed a bond with. It’s what winners do.
Joey: Right. That brings up the question, which of us is going to betray the other?
Fly shrugs
Fly: Maybe this time it will cancel itself, life works in mysterious ways.
Joey: How about we do something- / Fly: How about we do something-
Joey: You first.
Fly: No you.
Joey: On three.
Fly: Okay.
Joey: One…
Fly: Two…
Joey: Three-
Joey/Fly: Let’s betray Seth!
Valar dohaeris
It was early morning before Joey staggered through his front door, it had not been the blowout Bachelor party Joey envisioned he’d have when he was to get married, quiet drinks with the closest thing he had to a friend was about the best he could for at the moment. He fell into the nearest chair in his living room; it had been a week since he had left the Mojave desert. Since he had left Pinky…his head pounded with regret and remorse more than with intoxication. There he simply sat; Joey Flash and the darkness were close friends of late, he found it soothed him more than happiness and light did. His world was illuminated as he found himself blinking away temporary blindness as he saw an imposing shadow approaching, after a momentary adjustment he found himself face to face with the single most influential man in the Italian underworld, the patriarch of the Allegri family stood before him.
Bernardo: Good eve-
He glanced at his watch.
Bernardo:…morning Joseph.
Bernardo Allegri didn’t wait for an invitation and acquired himself two glasses from the drinks cabinet to the left of Joey, he sat both glasses down with an authoritative clunk and pulled a bottle of Scotch from below. The aroma of more alcohol brought Joey back into consciousness as quickly as it had made him almost begin to drift off. The liquor cascaded in a serene stream into the ornate glasses, Bernardo handed one to Joey and then picked the second up for himself, taking a sip he sat down in the chair opposite.
Joey: Good morning.
He slurred and raised the drink toward Bernardo. The man’s thin lips tightened even more.
Bernardo: You’re drunk.
Joey: I’m-
Not? He almost burst out laughing but instead his own voice as well as his thoughts simply trailed away.
Bernardo: Tomorrow…pardon, today you are going to become my son.
The seriousness of both the conversation and the implications hit Joey like a ten tonne truck. With all that had been going on with him personally, between him and Alessandra, between him and Dune, now with this Jack character he had almost lost sight of the major ramifications this day had.
Joey: Yeah I guess I am.
Bernardo: You guess.
Joey took a sharp breath; he didn’t want to say anything wrong here. It’s like Bernardo knew what Joey would be doing, where he’d be, and what state he would be in. This is a man who made every situation to his advantage. Joey cursed his double vision and delay in cognition as he glanced at the Scotch in his hand, in for a penny in for a pound. He took a drink and glanced at Bernardo for a reaction, the man remained stoic for a moment before breaking out into a laugh.
Bernardo: You know Joseph, if it were my son getting married today I’d be sitting the girl who was taking him away from me down and making sure that she understood what it meant to be marrying an Allegri.
If someone were ever to marry my daughter?
His eyes narrowed as he made eye contact with Joey, the stare wasn’t one of judging or appraisal, more of…knowing.
Bernardo: I’d trust that person with the family’s future.
Joey was stunned; he had expected strong arming, intimidation, threats…anything but this. Bernardo smiled at him.
Bernardo: I never thought this day would come. I never knew what type of person Alessandra would end up choosing, she was never one for courting or romance, she never even so much as expressed an interest. So when she sat me down, smiled and said those two words ‘I’m pregnant’ it made me, I don’t know, numb. She wasn’t excited, she wasn’t upset, it was just a fact. When she told me who the father was I can’t say I was surprised, I had Robert in one ear talking about this ‘kid he found’ who would ‘bring him to the top one day’ and in the other my daughter, the most savvy and wise person I know telling me how amazing and special this ‘Joseph’ was.
Joey: High praise.
Bernardo: Very. So some what four? Five? Years later I finally get to meet this Joseph, the man who had since killed my dear friend Robert in cold blood, had abandoned my daughter before coming crawling back, had spat on and embarrassed my entire legacy and family with the amount of disrespect he had shown. You looked me dead in the eyes and told me “I know who you are but on my fucking word you talk to me like that again I’ll end you.” I knew immediately why she chose you. I knew then, and I know even more so now, looking at you now is like looking in a mirror thirty years ago. You know the night before I married Francesca I didn’t go to bed until past daybreak? I didn’t care about the day after, I was just living life. That’s what I told myself.
Joey: I do care, it’s just…
Bernardo: Go on.
Joey: I’m scared. I’m scared I’m not good enough for this, that I don’t deserve this. What have I done in life to earn people toasting my life and wishing me happiness? When all I have ever deserved is fucking hurt.
The scotch went down beautifully. Joey took a breath that the heat of the alcohol turned into a cough before speaking again.
Joey: You tell me huh? What have I ever done to make anyone proud of me? What have I ever done to make anyone care? Cos lemme tell you, it’s nothing like that all. I’m barely surviving; I’m barely living as it is. You wanna know what I spent my last week doing? I spent it in the middle of nowhere trying to save someone, guess what happened.
Bernardo was silent.
Joey: No. You won’t guess because you already know the answer right? I might say the right things but I’ll be fucked if I can actually do this shit. You might have some ideas about this, you might have some ideas about me, but it’s not like that. It’s not like that at all. Want to know what’s happening with my life at the moment? Want to know why I’m scared? Want to know why I’m near blind fucking drunk at…
He fumbles with his sleeve to reveal his watch.
Joey: Four fifteen in the morning? Because I’m scared I’m not doing the right thing tomorrow, yeah. That’s right. Because next week I’m fighting a man I should respect more than any other competitor I’ve ever faced in my life and I’ve done nothing but cause harm to him. I’m not going to bullshit to you, if this is the kind of shit you want running your-
His protests were silenced by a hand on his shoulder; Bernardo Allegri looked down on him with a smile.
Bernardo: Interesting. You are an interesting case Joseph. You are more like me than you know. The crown is a heavy one, but you will wear it magnificently.
That one line ruined any chance of sleep Joseph Malignaggi had that night.
Promise me...(Second Tape)
The camera flickers on into the small study once more where we see Joey stood up this time, he is pacing up and down the room muttering to himself.
‘should…not right…no….’
He stops and pauses for a moment before regarding the camera, the same overegged faux look of happiness crosses his drawn face once more.
Joey: Hey Christian, I’m sorry about cutting it off before I just needed a little time to think, about what I’m going to do with the rest of this video. I don’t want to leave it like this, like I dunno, I’m just a random guy that you might just be watching on a video and end up with more questions than answers y’know?
I was going to do some stupid stuff like talk about my favourite colour or whatever, silly right? That’s not what you’re wondering while watching this. The answer is purple, in case you were. So I thought to ask myself what things I would have liked to known about my own father, I guess maybe you don’t, maybe things have happened, or I’ve ended up doing something that ruins all of this, but I’m going to give you the option. I’ll tell you everything.
If you want to know about your father then I’ll begin speaking again in thirty seconds, if not, you can just hit the off button, you can either delete this file or throw the disc away or whatever, I promise I won’t be mad.
Joey stands on the spot for longer than thirty seconds, nearly a minute before he engages the camera again.
Joey: I’m glad, I’m more glad than you can possibly imagine.
It was at this point Joey had finally been accepted, not by anyone else judging him or his actions, not by anyone he had ever wronged or hurt, not by Alessandra, not even by Christian. Joey Flash had accepted himself.
Joey: I used to be a bad person son. Not just a bad person, a really bad person. I did horrible things to people for the sake of what? Acceptance? Money? Fulfillment? Who knows. I sure don’t. I’m not going to lie to your face and tell you that isn’t me anymore, it is, and It’s going to be an even bigger part after tomorrow. Look, I mean….ah…
He fumbles his words.
Joey: It’s what I would want to know, alright? Look, watch this, fuck. I swear too.
Then gives a nervous laugh.
Joey: What I mean is that I’m going to be doing right by the family so that when you’re watching this you never have to go through what I have or have to live the life I do. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy let alone the person I love more than anything else in this world. I wish I could have done things differently, that I could have been someone people could look at and admire, that inspired the next the generation to better themselves. Instead I’ve done the exact opposite.
That’s not me though. I’m not a strong man son, my life is entirely ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes’. At sixteen years old I was the best heavyweight amateur boxer in the country, I had won two national golden gloves titles in a row, what I did was nearly unprecedented. Want to know what I was doing the day I was supposed to be competing in the trials to represent the country in the Olympic Games? The day where I was a near 25/1 favourite to win the place on the national team? I was in a rundown alley playing a game of dice for twenty dollars.
That was the day my coach told me never to box again, that it just wasn’t for me, that I could never be a competitive athlete. It wasn’t that I didn’t have ‘it’ it wasn’t that I wouldn’t be able to succeed at the next level. Want to know what he said to me? The reason I now live the life I do, the reason that I do the things I do?
‘You are so good that it almost hurts, what is it you are scared of? Losing? Failure? No, that’s not you…
…you’re scared of success.’
The camera cuts.
Valar morghulis
It was part two of his three part epic of pre-taped War promotional videos. If the first was his Godfather, this would be his II, if the first was A New Hope, this would be his Empire. Joey Flash had taken a break in between the shoot for a bathroom break and a quick drink of water and now here he was in front of the glare of the camera lens.
Joey: Let’s begin. I said this time I’d get personal…but on further reflection that seems to mean different things to us both Dune. To you personal is the shit we do outside the ring, outside our safe zone that is the WCF. To me? Personal is the garbage you deliver every week in the centre of the ring while wrestling and delivering your mediocre promos. I need to have you know outside the confines of a WCF ring, outside of those ropes I’m not who you think I am, I’m not a demon, I’m not a devil, I’m not someone who is hunting you and your family down to take everything from them. We’ve never had a formal introduction Dune.
My name is Joseph Malignaggi, you know me as Joey Flash. Outside of the WCF I’m on some ‘People are awesome’ ‘Free love!’ ‘Peace and equality for all!’ you know all that positive shit. Once we step through those ropes though?
Joey smiles his trademark grin.
Joey: I’m on that complete opposite shit. You’ve done so much in your first year won every battle, you’ve defeated every comer, and you’ve been the best wrestler in the federation, clearly, no debating. Shit, even I’m not debating this, can’t argue with facts can you Dune? You’ve had a debut year that would make Beckman’s cock shrivel like it was covered in ICE. You’ve made me look like a positive amateur at this point; I mean what can I say to you achievement wise, fact wise? What do I have I to back my claims up? It’s simply this: watch us in the ring. One is a master of his domain, so imperious and dominant over the squared circle it’s like he was born and raised there the other one is Dune.
Let’s be serious about your accomplishments for a second. Let’s dig beyond the end result and let’s take a look at the journey that took us to that point. Dune fights Jay Omega in what should have been an easy win over a nondescript mid bum, how’d you win that one?
Joey takes a bow.
Joey: Fast forward now, you take on the most dominant champion of 2014, look what happened, I managed to get close to that very man and influence his already poor decision making and his idiotic psyche into actually going forward with this match. He lost because I allowed it. That is all, if I desired Natural ICE Beckman would still be World Champion, still parading around with his own brand of drudgery but no Dune, it was your time…because I decided it was so. If I weren’t there making things a little…easier for you then shit, you’d have damn near been beaten into a state lookin like you’re suffering with ALS from that ICE challenge.
…and another bow.
Joey: I wanted Beckman from the start; I wanted the joy of ripping his livelihood from his arms like I was snatching a newborn from a suckling mother. Then you came along, I watched you Dune, I watched you and I watched you in awe. This wasn’t a man I could just take from; this wasn’t a man who would let me waltz away with everything he was. This isn’t a man without character or personality, without life experiences, this is a man with a fucking purpose. You might not have had the skill in the ring, but you can be damn sure you had everything else. I decided then I didn’t want to take from you…I wanted to BREAK you.
So from that day on I made it official in my mind, I would take the WCF World Title from you. You were about to struggle against Gonzo and look who helped you once more. Two thumbs pointing at this guy, it was my duty Dune, my duty to help you through your time of troubles.
Fuck all the bullshit; let’s get down to the meat of the matter with it. You have been nothing but a puppet under my control this entire year; you’ve been screaming ‘I’m a real boy!’ to Freeman, your achievements and your accomplishments are nothing but a by-product of my desires and my actions. How does that feel? Is that emasculating? Is it embarrassing? Well if it isn’t…it fucking should be.
Do you not understand yet Dune? I’ve purposely pushed my pawn across the board this year until I could manoeuver him into the position I could best take advantage of him. That’s business, that’s strategy at its highest level, you help a man build an empire promising that it will be nothing but victory and prosperity, all the while leaving lots of little flaws untouched…then you attack it. This is the biggest stage; this is the best moment, so why not finally make the move?
I destroyed Occulo to the point of him almost quitting wrestling for good; I crushed Howard Black so badly little Joey is considering changing his own name as soon as he’s legally able as he can’t live with the trauma of sharing it with the man who ripped daddy’s arm in half. I did this openly, I did these things in front of you and what did you do? You did exactly what a bitch is supposed to do…nothing.
Then I took that old man and beat his brains in right in front of you, damn near gave him that Obi-Wan treatment, if that fucker had turned into a blue ghost half way through I wouldn’t have been surprised. Why do I do this Dune? Why do I haunt you, why do I punish you so? I purposely hardened your heart just so my wrath could show. I want to fight the monster; I want to fight the mythical Dune, the greatest force in the WCF today. I want to take this demon and rip it to fucking shreds. I refuse my first World Title reign to be brought to shame by the mark I end up taking it from, that’s why I actively refused to face Beckman, I waited and waited for the right person I would rip the title from…then up you pop. You’re everything I could ever hope for WCFHarmony.com would have made us a perfect match. The parting gift is me taking that belt from your weak fuckin grasp.
This is going bad for you Dune, are you going to wave the white flag yet? Are you going to throw the towel in yet? You’re in the biggest match of your career and guess what? It’s a fucking mismatch. I can’t believe people were excited for this, that this was the contest and the match everyone was waiting for, can you believe it? As close as a month ago people were even laughing at the possibility of this match, now who is laughing Dune? You’re not, I know for a fact you’re not, you’re instead shining the title to present to me on a silver fucking platter. So who? Who is left hmm? Where are the doubters at?
He waits a moment.
Joey: I thought so. The only people who ever thought this outcome was anything but already written in permanent marker are a) Mentally Challenged b) Dune fans c) Low card wrestlers full of jealousy. Though to be honest a) and c) are one and the fucking same. Dune vs Joey Flash, the most one sided ‘Big Match’ in WCF history, you’re done and it’s not even closing time. How does it feel Dune? You are truly, utterly, thoroughly beaten already and I’ve not even got close to breaking a sweat so far. Does it make you sad that your efforts mean absolutely nothing in front of Joey Flash? That the man you think is some sneaky, snarky, back fighting bitch is going to slap you in the face, stand right in front of you while I do it and beat you in every phase of the game. I’ll light you up standing and I’ll embarrass you on the mat. Damn I’m not even cooking yet; shall I murder this guy yet?
Joey holds a hand to his ear and in a Hoganesque move poses waiting for a non-existent response
Joey: The answer is in…it’s unanimous…Dune is spared, it’s a no.
Joey slumps his shoulders and begins to away…
…before wheeling back round to the camera.
Joey: SIKE I LIED. You thought I was going to let this shit just end like that? That’s not how this works. See Dune, I don’t need to get personal to body you, Pinky is awesome, your dog is cool, Freeman is a bawse. The outlier is you, you’re just a cunt. No more games, this belt IS everything to you, and I respect that. I respect your hard work, you’ve faced off against so many people it’s been inspiring, I’ve been there close, I’ve been there helping but still, it’s magnificent. Though it’s telling to me, you never show any overwhelming desire, you never push your will and your intentions on your opponents. You’re scared of the big moment, I recognise that and I understand. You’re scared. You can barely look in the eyes of someone who’s trying to insult you, trying to take your title from you…
Joey steps close to the camera.
Joey: Try looking in the eyes of someone who’s trying to kill you. I feel already like I’m beating this dead meat like I’m Rocky in the freezer, Dune’s getting lit up in the worst kind of way. King of nothing, bitch you’re getting overthrown like you’re a midget playing first base.
It’s screwface central in Joeyville. He continues laying the ether on the poor Dune.
Joey: I’m back on my shit again; no way can you even come close. Here’s where I bury this punk, I’m on some barbarian shit, I’ll finish this kid something Vicious (no Sid) this is a tar heroin hit.
Can you feel how I’m fucking with you Dune? I can kill you one line at a time, that’s how terrible you are. In the ring? Average? Out the ring? Even worse. It’s pathetic the shit you try to satisfy your own small mind with. You don’t have long, you don’t have long at all to keep hiding away in your little bubble and convincing people you’re a good wrestler and a good world champion. Take a look Dune, soak this in.
The camera pans down to Joey’s feet and slowly creeps upward toward his face.
Joey: This is what champions look like, they say real recognise real right? Well you just don’t give me that same feel. I’m everything that is elite in this world, I’m MJ with the ball, I’m the other MJ in a dance hall, I can moonwalk over black ice I’m that nice. I’m Jonny Fly in his prime killing the game with absolutely no equal, you? You’re Zach Davis and Freddy Whoa. You just talk a good fight.
You fight a good game against no marks, but we’ll see what happens when a god steps up in your grill. I’ll take everything from you at War Dune, your dignity, your poise, your confidence, your World Title, your kidneys…your liver…damn I’ll probably be able to sell damn near everything. I profit from how shit you are by taking your world title and this, shame there is one organ I’ll get nothing for…
Joey smiles.
Joey: No one is in the market for the heart of a bitch. This is an execution of the worst possible kind; it’s so bad ISIS would confiscate these fuckin tapes. I’ll give you props Dune, you tried…too bad you’ve already fuckin died. I’m already wondering who I’m going to face at One, I’d love it to be Occulo, wouldn’t that just be the sweetest fucking thing? Two years in a row, two Christmases off. David Sanchez? I don’t know if Puerto Ricans celebrate Christmas but that guy fuckin sucks regardless. Los Tiburones? Uhhhh….who? God this is terrible. I wish I could just beat on Dune every month of every year; it would be so much easier. I’d get an easy win every month and would hardly get touched in the process. Seth, make it happen.
So go ahead Dune, fucking talk. Talk about anything, talk about everything. Talk about what I wore to sleep last night, talk about what my favourite colour is (TO RE-ITERATE, PURPLE), talk about how much of a prick I am. The one thing you can never talk about is my ability in the middle of the ring. Because if you even so much as bring that up you’re only bodying yourself. My skill is unquestioned; my style is beyond anything in this federation. So what’s next huh? What do you have for me? I can tell you. Absolutely fucking nothing.
You’re done, it’s the seventh inning stretch and you’re already preparing to go home. This is the first time in your fucking life you’ve been challenged and it’s turning your legs to jelly as you’re already trying to run home. I’m already salivating over the tender meat I’m going to get for my meal at War, it’s gotten so bad you’re barely even struggling now; god this shit makes me sad. I thought you were worth my time Dune. Don’t let everything that has happened between us be a waste.
So here I am, there you are. I am challenging you man to man, soul to soul. Do something. Hurt me. Break me. Destroy me.
Joey mimics the action he performed in the desert and sweeps his foot across the floor. He looks at the floor then back at the camera.
Joey: I’ve drawn the line in the sand Dune; let’s see if you are capable of crossing it.
Promise me...(Third Tape)
The camera flicks back on.
Joey: Scared of success? It took me about five years of arguing with myself, nights of denial, nights of crying while I laugh until I realised what he meant. You wanna know what he meant by that Christian? It doesn’t matter how much talent you have, it doesn’t matter how much intelligence you have, whether you’re sat in your mothers basement claiming you could be the next great novelist, whether you’re a struggling actor working in Burger King claiming you could be the next Al Pacino if you were just given the chance, if the right person saw you.
I see the opportunities open; I’ve got a clear view of the passing lane and every time I just let the ball go whistling past my ear and someone else gets the opportunity that was meant for me if I only had the courage to go take it. I know why now, I understand. I tell myself every time that ‘I don’t deserve it’ that because of who I am, because of what I’ve done in my life that nothing good can ever come to me, that nothing good can ever last. Then along you came, the one thing in my life that made me believe again, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me son. You’re…
Joey removes the handkerchief from his top pocket and dabs his eyes dry.
Joey: You’re my everything. By the time you’re watching this it will be a long time in the past and you’ve probably watched the tape of the match about a dozen times whether I win or lose. Your dad has a shot at the biggest prize in the world of professional sport, the WCF Heavyweight Championship. It only happened because of you, know this, it happened because you gave me the courage to finally step up to the ball destined for me, pick it out the air and take it back to the house.
With all my heart, I thank you.
It was the eve before Joseph Malignaggi would commit his future to be part of the Allegri family forever more. Was he having second thoughts? Of course not, those thoughts were up to about a fuckin billion by now, the underlying thing he kept asking himself, that kept him from just disappearing right now was the answer to the one question he kept asking himself about if he ended it and just walked away.
‘Would you regret it?’
The answer to that every time he asked himself was a resounding yes. He had no idea what would be coming for the future, all he knew is at the bottom of his heart all he wanted, all Joseph Malignaggi ever desired in life was a family. He reclined into the chair that sat serenely on the roof of La Societa, he was already drunk and could feel his head whooshing as he looked skyward. The stars were rendered non-existent by the light and the cloud cover; it made him sad for a moment.
The this week would be the most important of Joey’s life, on the Saturday he would marry the woman he loved and on the following Sunday he would be facing his mortal enemy and rival for the biggest prize in professional wrestling. The wedding was one thing, it was a routine and it was ceremony, was the title match that easy? He felt the butterflies in his stomach and the tingling tenseness in his skin just thinking about the match. His entire last year has been building toward this climax, Joey had told reporters earlier this week
“If you’re pounding away for a year then shit you better get the best fucking orgasm of your life.”
It felt to strange to Joey to have such a mind-set heading into this match, every match he had ever been in during his WCF tenure so far he a small shred of doubt, a shred that maybe he wouldn’t get it done, that even if he did he’d be sloppy or fuck up or something. Stupid shit he knew, but thoughts nevertheless. For this match though? Joseph felt an air of calm and unease like none he had ever felt before, facing the titanic Dune should be the single biggest challenge of his career, it should be the one immense force that should be making Joey double take and doubt himself more than any other and yet all he could think of was how easy this match was going to be.
Never in any scenario that played out in his head was this a match that Joey Flash was going to lose, he had watched Dune, studied Dune down to the very core. For all of Joey’s outlandish hubris he was at heart a competitor and a fighter. In any other sport you can lose by a score and go home, think bad about yourself for a while and then get over it, in professional wrestling? If you lose one on one in that ring, you were the one beaten, not your team, not because of the ref, not because of anything else than your own lack of skill and power.
Dune vs Joey Flash, this is the match of the two best wrestlers in the company at the moment, this is the main event of main events, this is the biggest selling Pay Per View match that the WCF will get this year. This is the match Joey has been demanding, campaigning for since he first stepped foot in the company, but to him this match wasn’t so much a contest, but a fucking procession.
A voice, followed by a beer slamming into his gut broke his daydreams.
Fly: Don’t get all pensive on me.
The four time WCF World Champion and future Hall of Famer Jonny Fly plonked himself down in the deckchair next to Joey and cracked his own beer open, guzzling it before dropping it into the pile of empty cans next to him.
Joey: I’m not pensive.
Fly: Not pensive? Don’t give me that, I’ve seen that look, staring at stars and shit, I bet you had a nice little inner train of thought running too didn’t you?
Joey: No.
Fly: Liar!
The two men sat in silence for a moment.
Fly: You doubting yourself like a bitch?
Joey: Give me some credit.
Fly: I was just checking. Look…
Joey: Is this the part you give some fuckin cryptic and ‘sage’ advice?
Fly: No, it’s the part where I say if you lose this match I’m going to stomp your face in.
They look at each other and laugh.
Joey: I’m not worried in the fuckin slightest; this is going to be a cakewalk.
Fly shrugs.
Fly: I dunno Dune’s pretty tough…
Joey: Motherfucker shut up.
Fly: He pinned me.
Joey: Oh yeah Thomas Bates outlasted you in that one didn't-
Fly: Grime.
A single word rendered all of Joey's mocking null and void.
Joey: Fair point. This is in the fucking bag though man, trust me.
Fly: I don't, but go ahead.
Joey: No one in the entire world is thinking any different. The only thing they’re trying to do is convince themselves that Dune has a chance. It’s like when Pacquiao fought Floyd, everybody knew the score going into it and yet to make themselves feel like it was going to be something more than it is in order to enjoy the event more. It makes more people more money if this is the narrative going into this fight. This is a one sided fucking massacre, this isn't a PPV, this is a liveleak viral video, it was going to happen to whoever managed to pull the short straw on facing me for the World Title.
It’s gonna be that Howard Black vs Thomas Bates type shit.
It’s gonna be me doing to Dune what he did to ICE.
This is a top class competitor getting absolutely and thoroughly outclassed in every aspect of professional wrestling.
Fly is gazing off into the distance clearly bored by Joey's nonsensical bloviation before snapping back into reality.
Fly: Fuck. Yeah, that reminds me, I was asked by Seth to give this to you.
Jonny Fly fumbles in his jacket pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper before handing it to Joey.
Joey: What the fuck is this?
Joey looks over the paper.
Fly: Employee evaluation! See, Seth hasn’t left you out. He really does like you you know.
Joey: Right.
Fly: Right. Read that shit.
Joey: Aww, he thinks I'm beautiful.
Seeing Joey's elated little face Fly slumps in the chair and sulks to himself.
Fly: I never get told I'm beautiful. This is sad.
Joey: Wow.
Fly: I say I’m sad and all you have is ‘wow’? Where is your compassion for your fellow man?
Joey: I didn’t know Seth thought that way.
Fly: DID YOU NOT NOTE MY SADNESS?! He’s not even given me my report yet.
Joey: Is that why you’re sad?
Fly: …yes.
Joey: Maybe because you’re his favourite.
Fly: Motherfucking Torture gets an evaluation every week praising him, where is my fucking praise? ICE Beckman was fucking donkey dick and he still gets his sent to whatever ditch he’s living in by courier every week. WHERE IS MY PRAISE?! WHERE IS MY ACCEPTANCE?!
Joey: I’ll suck your dick.
Fly: Where is my fucking- …what?
Joey: Nothing.
Fly: My imagination, fuck man I must be more loaded than I thought.
Joey: Yeah man. Look hang on, do you have any paper?
Fly searches mockingly, patting himself up and down.
Fly: Yeah right next to where I keep my wallet and my keys, of course fucking not.
Joey stands up and struts toward his office.
Fly: Oh for fucks sake…
After a few moments Joey returns, a smile on his face. He proudly hands Fly a piece of shoddy paper sloppily written on.
Fly: What the fuck is-
He breaks into a small smile.
Fly: Okay.
Joey: Huh?
Fly: I’ll do it.
They lock eyes and give each other a handshake so manly and immense it makes Schwarzenegger/Weathers look like two clammy handed Pantheon fans at a Corey Black appreciation night lightly dapping each other.
Joey: It’s pathetic really. I have no one close to me that I can even think to ask, I don’t even fuckin trust you and I’m asking you to be my best man. Pathetic isn’t it?
Fly: Not at all, I’ve betrayed everyone I’ve ever been close to or formed a bond with. It’s what winners do.
Joey: Right. That brings up the question, which of us is going to betray the other?
Fly shrugs
Fly: Maybe this time it will cancel itself, life works in mysterious ways.
Joey: How about we do something- / Fly: How about we do something-
Joey: You first.
Fly: No you.
Joey: On three.
Fly: Okay.
Joey: One…
Fly: Two…
Joey: Three-
Joey/Fly: Let’s betray Seth!
Valar dohaeris
It was early morning before Joey staggered through his front door, it had not been the blowout Bachelor party Joey envisioned he’d have when he was to get married, quiet drinks with the closest thing he had to a friend was about the best he could for at the moment. He fell into the nearest chair in his living room; it had been a week since he had left the Mojave desert. Since he had left Pinky…his head pounded with regret and remorse more than with intoxication. There he simply sat; Joey Flash and the darkness were close friends of late, he found it soothed him more than happiness and light did. His world was illuminated as he found himself blinking away temporary blindness as he saw an imposing shadow approaching, after a momentary adjustment he found himself face to face with the single most influential man in the Italian underworld, the patriarch of the Allegri family stood before him.
Bernardo: Good eve-
He glanced at his watch.
Bernardo:…morning Joseph.
Bernardo Allegri didn’t wait for an invitation and acquired himself two glasses from the drinks cabinet to the left of Joey, he sat both glasses down with an authoritative clunk and pulled a bottle of Scotch from below. The aroma of more alcohol brought Joey back into consciousness as quickly as it had made him almost begin to drift off. The liquor cascaded in a serene stream into the ornate glasses, Bernardo handed one to Joey and then picked the second up for himself, taking a sip he sat down in the chair opposite.
Joey: Good morning.
He slurred and raised the drink toward Bernardo. The man’s thin lips tightened even more.
Bernardo: You’re drunk.
Joey: I’m-
Not? He almost burst out laughing but instead his own voice as well as his thoughts simply trailed away.
Bernardo: Tomorrow…pardon, today you are going to become my son.
The seriousness of both the conversation and the implications hit Joey like a ten tonne truck. With all that had been going on with him personally, between him and Alessandra, between him and Dune, now with this Jack character he had almost lost sight of the major ramifications this day had.
Joey: Yeah I guess I am.
Bernardo: You guess.
Joey took a sharp breath; he didn’t want to say anything wrong here. It’s like Bernardo knew what Joey would be doing, where he’d be, and what state he would be in. This is a man who made every situation to his advantage. Joey cursed his double vision and delay in cognition as he glanced at the Scotch in his hand, in for a penny in for a pound. He took a drink and glanced at Bernardo for a reaction, the man remained stoic for a moment before breaking out into a laugh.
Bernardo: You know Joseph, if it were my son getting married today I’d be sitting the girl who was taking him away from me down and making sure that she understood what it meant to be marrying an Allegri.
If someone were ever to marry my daughter?
His eyes narrowed as he made eye contact with Joey, the stare wasn’t one of judging or appraisal, more of…knowing.
Bernardo: I’d trust that person with the family’s future.
Joey was stunned; he had expected strong arming, intimidation, threats…anything but this. Bernardo smiled at him.
Bernardo: I never thought this day would come. I never knew what type of person Alessandra would end up choosing, she was never one for courting or romance, she never even so much as expressed an interest. So when she sat me down, smiled and said those two words ‘I’m pregnant’ it made me, I don’t know, numb. She wasn’t excited, she wasn’t upset, it was just a fact. When she told me who the father was I can’t say I was surprised, I had Robert in one ear talking about this ‘kid he found’ who would ‘bring him to the top one day’ and in the other my daughter, the most savvy and wise person I know telling me how amazing and special this ‘Joseph’ was.
Joey: High praise.
Bernardo: Very. So some what four? Five? Years later I finally get to meet this Joseph, the man who had since killed my dear friend Robert in cold blood, had abandoned my daughter before coming crawling back, had spat on and embarrassed my entire legacy and family with the amount of disrespect he had shown. You looked me dead in the eyes and told me “I know who you are but on my fucking word you talk to me like that again I’ll end you.” I knew immediately why she chose you. I knew then, and I know even more so now, looking at you now is like looking in a mirror thirty years ago. You know the night before I married Francesca I didn’t go to bed until past daybreak? I didn’t care about the day after, I was just living life. That’s what I told myself.
Joey: I do care, it’s just…
Bernardo: Go on.
Joey: I’m scared. I’m scared I’m not good enough for this, that I don’t deserve this. What have I done in life to earn people toasting my life and wishing me happiness? When all I have ever deserved is fucking hurt.
The scotch went down beautifully. Joey took a breath that the heat of the alcohol turned into a cough before speaking again.
Joey: You tell me huh? What have I ever done to make anyone proud of me? What have I ever done to make anyone care? Cos lemme tell you, it’s nothing like that all. I’m barely surviving; I’m barely living as it is. You wanna know what I spent my last week doing? I spent it in the middle of nowhere trying to save someone, guess what happened.
Bernardo was silent.
Joey: No. You won’t guess because you already know the answer right? I might say the right things but I’ll be fucked if I can actually do this shit. You might have some ideas about this, you might have some ideas about me, but it’s not like that. It’s not like that at all. Want to know what’s happening with my life at the moment? Want to know why I’m scared? Want to know why I’m near blind fucking drunk at…
He fumbles with his sleeve to reveal his watch.
Joey: Four fifteen in the morning? Because I’m scared I’m not doing the right thing tomorrow, yeah. That’s right. Because next week I’m fighting a man I should respect more than any other competitor I’ve ever faced in my life and I’ve done nothing but cause harm to him. I’m not going to bullshit to you, if this is the kind of shit you want running your-
His protests were silenced by a hand on his shoulder; Bernardo Allegri looked down on him with a smile.
Bernardo: Interesting. You are an interesting case Joseph. You are more like me than you know. The crown is a heavy one, but you will wear it magnificently.
That one line ruined any chance of sleep Joseph Malignaggi had that night.
Promise me...(Second Tape)
The camera flickers on into the small study once more where we see Joey stood up this time, he is pacing up and down the room muttering to himself.
‘should…not right…no….’
He stops and pauses for a moment before regarding the camera, the same overegged faux look of happiness crosses his drawn face once more.
Joey: Hey Christian, I’m sorry about cutting it off before I just needed a little time to think, about what I’m going to do with the rest of this video. I don’t want to leave it like this, like I dunno, I’m just a random guy that you might just be watching on a video and end up with more questions than answers y’know?
I was going to do some stupid stuff like talk about my favourite colour or whatever, silly right? That’s not what you’re wondering while watching this. The answer is purple, in case you were. So I thought to ask myself what things I would have liked to known about my own father, I guess maybe you don’t, maybe things have happened, or I’ve ended up doing something that ruins all of this, but I’m going to give you the option. I’ll tell you everything.
If you want to know about your father then I’ll begin speaking again in thirty seconds, if not, you can just hit the off button, you can either delete this file or throw the disc away or whatever, I promise I won’t be mad.
Joey stands on the spot for longer than thirty seconds, nearly a minute before he engages the camera again.
Joey: I’m glad, I’m more glad than you can possibly imagine.
It was at this point Joey had finally been accepted, not by anyone else judging him or his actions, not by anyone he had ever wronged or hurt, not by Alessandra, not even by Christian. Joey Flash had accepted himself.
Joey: I used to be a bad person son. Not just a bad person, a really bad person. I did horrible things to people for the sake of what? Acceptance? Money? Fulfillment? Who knows. I sure don’t. I’m not going to lie to your face and tell you that isn’t me anymore, it is, and It’s going to be an even bigger part after tomorrow. Look, I mean….ah…
He fumbles his words.
Joey: It’s what I would want to know, alright? Look, watch this, fuck. I swear too.
Then gives a nervous laugh.
Joey: What I mean is that I’m going to be doing right by the family so that when you’re watching this you never have to go through what I have or have to live the life I do. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy let alone the person I love more than anything else in this world. I wish I could have done things differently, that I could have been someone people could look at and admire, that inspired the next the generation to better themselves. Instead I’ve done the exact opposite.
That’s not me though. I’m not a strong man son, my life is entirely ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes’. At sixteen years old I was the best heavyweight amateur boxer in the country, I had won two national golden gloves titles in a row, what I did was nearly unprecedented. Want to know what I was doing the day I was supposed to be competing in the trials to represent the country in the Olympic Games? The day where I was a near 25/1 favourite to win the place on the national team? I was in a rundown alley playing a game of dice for twenty dollars.
That was the day my coach told me never to box again, that it just wasn’t for me, that I could never be a competitive athlete. It wasn’t that I didn’t have ‘it’ it wasn’t that I wouldn’t be able to succeed at the next level. Want to know what he said to me? The reason I now live the life I do, the reason that I do the things I do?
‘You are so good that it almost hurts, what is it you are scared of? Losing? Failure? No, that’s not you…
…you’re scared of success.’
The camera cuts.
Valar morghulis
It was part two of his three part epic of pre-taped War promotional videos. If the first was his Godfather, this would be his II, if the first was A New Hope, this would be his Empire. Joey Flash had taken a break in between the shoot for a bathroom break and a quick drink of water and now here he was in front of the glare of the camera lens.
Joey: Let’s begin. I said this time I’d get personal…but on further reflection that seems to mean different things to us both Dune. To you personal is the shit we do outside the ring, outside our safe zone that is the WCF. To me? Personal is the garbage you deliver every week in the centre of the ring while wrestling and delivering your mediocre promos. I need to have you know outside the confines of a WCF ring, outside of those ropes I’m not who you think I am, I’m not a demon, I’m not a devil, I’m not someone who is hunting you and your family down to take everything from them. We’ve never had a formal introduction Dune.
My name is Joseph Malignaggi, you know me as Joey Flash. Outside of the WCF I’m on some ‘People are awesome’ ‘Free love!’ ‘Peace and equality for all!’ you know all that positive shit. Once we step through those ropes though?
Joey smiles his trademark grin.
Joey: I’m on that complete opposite shit. You’ve done so much in your first year won every battle, you’ve defeated every comer, and you’ve been the best wrestler in the federation, clearly, no debating. Shit, even I’m not debating this, can’t argue with facts can you Dune? You’ve had a debut year that would make Beckman’s cock shrivel like it was covered in ICE. You’ve made me look like a positive amateur at this point; I mean what can I say to you achievement wise, fact wise? What do I have I to back my claims up? It’s simply this: watch us in the ring. One is a master of his domain, so imperious and dominant over the squared circle it’s like he was born and raised there the other one is Dune.
Let’s be serious about your accomplishments for a second. Let’s dig beyond the end result and let’s take a look at the journey that took us to that point. Dune fights Jay Omega in what should have been an easy win over a nondescript mid bum, how’d you win that one?
Joey takes a bow.
Joey: Fast forward now, you take on the most dominant champion of 2014, look what happened, I managed to get close to that very man and influence his already poor decision making and his idiotic psyche into actually going forward with this match. He lost because I allowed it. That is all, if I desired Natural ICE Beckman would still be World Champion, still parading around with his own brand of drudgery but no Dune, it was your time…because I decided it was so. If I weren’t there making things a little…easier for you then shit, you’d have damn near been beaten into a state lookin like you’re suffering with ALS from that ICE challenge.
…and another bow.
Joey: I wanted Beckman from the start; I wanted the joy of ripping his livelihood from his arms like I was snatching a newborn from a suckling mother. Then you came along, I watched you Dune, I watched you and I watched you in awe. This wasn’t a man I could just take from; this wasn’t a man who would let me waltz away with everything he was. This isn’t a man without character or personality, without life experiences, this is a man with a fucking purpose. You might not have had the skill in the ring, but you can be damn sure you had everything else. I decided then I didn’t want to take from you…I wanted to BREAK you.
So from that day on I made it official in my mind, I would take the WCF World Title from you. You were about to struggle against Gonzo and look who helped you once more. Two thumbs pointing at this guy, it was my duty Dune, my duty to help you through your time of troubles.
Fuck all the bullshit; let’s get down to the meat of the matter with it. You have been nothing but a puppet under my control this entire year; you’ve been screaming ‘I’m a real boy!’ to Freeman, your achievements and your accomplishments are nothing but a by-product of my desires and my actions. How does that feel? Is that emasculating? Is it embarrassing? Well if it isn’t…it fucking should be.
Do you not understand yet Dune? I’ve purposely pushed my pawn across the board this year until I could manoeuver him into the position I could best take advantage of him. That’s business, that’s strategy at its highest level, you help a man build an empire promising that it will be nothing but victory and prosperity, all the while leaving lots of little flaws untouched…then you attack it. This is the biggest stage; this is the best moment, so why not finally make the move?
I destroyed Occulo to the point of him almost quitting wrestling for good; I crushed Howard Black so badly little Joey is considering changing his own name as soon as he’s legally able as he can’t live with the trauma of sharing it with the man who ripped daddy’s arm in half. I did this openly, I did these things in front of you and what did you do? You did exactly what a bitch is supposed to do…nothing.
Then I took that old man and beat his brains in right in front of you, damn near gave him that Obi-Wan treatment, if that fucker had turned into a blue ghost half way through I wouldn’t have been surprised. Why do I do this Dune? Why do I haunt you, why do I punish you so? I purposely hardened your heart just so my wrath could show. I want to fight the monster; I want to fight the mythical Dune, the greatest force in the WCF today. I want to take this demon and rip it to fucking shreds. I refuse my first World Title reign to be brought to shame by the mark I end up taking it from, that’s why I actively refused to face Beckman, I waited and waited for the right person I would rip the title from…then up you pop. You’re everything I could ever hope for WCFHarmony.com would have made us a perfect match. The parting gift is me taking that belt from your weak fuckin grasp.
This is going bad for you Dune, are you going to wave the white flag yet? Are you going to throw the towel in yet? You’re in the biggest match of your career and guess what? It’s a fucking mismatch. I can’t believe people were excited for this, that this was the contest and the match everyone was waiting for, can you believe it? As close as a month ago people were even laughing at the possibility of this match, now who is laughing Dune? You’re not, I know for a fact you’re not, you’re instead shining the title to present to me on a silver fucking platter. So who? Who is left hmm? Where are the doubters at?
He waits a moment.
Joey: I thought so. The only people who ever thought this outcome was anything but already written in permanent marker are a) Mentally Challenged b) Dune fans c) Low card wrestlers full of jealousy. Though to be honest a) and c) are one and the fucking same. Dune vs Joey Flash, the most one sided ‘Big Match’ in WCF history, you’re done and it’s not even closing time. How does it feel Dune? You are truly, utterly, thoroughly beaten already and I’ve not even got close to breaking a sweat so far. Does it make you sad that your efforts mean absolutely nothing in front of Joey Flash? That the man you think is some sneaky, snarky, back fighting bitch is going to slap you in the face, stand right in front of you while I do it and beat you in every phase of the game. I’ll light you up standing and I’ll embarrass you on the mat. Damn I’m not even cooking yet; shall I murder this guy yet?
Joey holds a hand to his ear and in a Hoganesque move poses waiting for a non-existent response
Joey: The answer is in…it’s unanimous…Dune is spared, it’s a no.
Joey slumps his shoulders and begins to away…
…before wheeling back round to the camera.
Joey: SIKE I LIED. You thought I was going to let this shit just end like that? That’s not how this works. See Dune, I don’t need to get personal to body you, Pinky is awesome, your dog is cool, Freeman is a bawse. The outlier is you, you’re just a cunt. No more games, this belt IS everything to you, and I respect that. I respect your hard work, you’ve faced off against so many people it’s been inspiring, I’ve been there close, I’ve been there helping but still, it’s magnificent. Though it’s telling to me, you never show any overwhelming desire, you never push your will and your intentions on your opponents. You’re scared of the big moment, I recognise that and I understand. You’re scared. You can barely look in the eyes of someone who’s trying to insult you, trying to take your title from you…
Joey steps close to the camera.
Joey: Try looking in the eyes of someone who’s trying to kill you. I feel already like I’m beating this dead meat like I’m Rocky in the freezer, Dune’s getting lit up in the worst kind of way. King of nothing, bitch you’re getting overthrown like you’re a midget playing first base.
It’s screwface central in Joeyville. He continues laying the ether on the poor Dune.
Joey: I’m back on my shit again; no way can you even come close. Here’s where I bury this punk, I’m on some barbarian shit, I’ll finish this kid something Vicious (no Sid) this is a tar heroin hit.
Can you feel how I’m fucking with you Dune? I can kill you one line at a time, that’s how terrible you are. In the ring? Average? Out the ring? Even worse. It’s pathetic the shit you try to satisfy your own small mind with. You don’t have long, you don’t have long at all to keep hiding away in your little bubble and convincing people you’re a good wrestler and a good world champion. Take a look Dune, soak this in.
The camera pans down to Joey’s feet and slowly creeps upward toward his face.
Joey: This is what champions look like, they say real recognise real right? Well you just don’t give me that same feel. I’m everything that is elite in this world, I’m MJ with the ball, I’m the other MJ in a dance hall, I can moonwalk over black ice I’m that nice. I’m Jonny Fly in his prime killing the game with absolutely no equal, you? You’re Zach Davis and Freddy Whoa. You just talk a good fight.
You fight a good game against no marks, but we’ll see what happens when a god steps up in your grill. I’ll take everything from you at War Dune, your dignity, your poise, your confidence, your World Title, your kidneys…your liver…damn I’ll probably be able to sell damn near everything. I profit from how shit you are by taking your world title and this, shame there is one organ I’ll get nothing for…
Joey smiles.
Joey: No one is in the market for the heart of a bitch. This is an execution of the worst possible kind; it’s so bad ISIS would confiscate these fuckin tapes. I’ll give you props Dune, you tried…too bad you’ve already fuckin died. I’m already wondering who I’m going to face at One, I’d love it to be Occulo, wouldn’t that just be the sweetest fucking thing? Two years in a row, two Christmases off. David Sanchez? I don’t know if Puerto Ricans celebrate Christmas but that guy fuckin sucks regardless. Los Tiburones? Uhhhh….who? God this is terrible. I wish I could just beat on Dune every month of every year; it would be so much easier. I’d get an easy win every month and would hardly get touched in the process. Seth, make it happen.
So go ahead Dune, fucking talk. Talk about anything, talk about everything. Talk about what I wore to sleep last night, talk about what my favourite colour is (TO RE-ITERATE, PURPLE), talk about how much of a prick I am. The one thing you can never talk about is my ability in the middle of the ring. Because if you even so much as bring that up you’re only bodying yourself. My skill is unquestioned; my style is beyond anything in this federation. So what’s next huh? What do you have for me? I can tell you. Absolutely fucking nothing.
You’re done, it’s the seventh inning stretch and you’re already preparing to go home. This is the first time in your fucking life you’ve been challenged and it’s turning your legs to jelly as you’re already trying to run home. I’m already salivating over the tender meat I’m going to get for my meal at War, it’s gotten so bad you’re barely even struggling now; god this shit makes me sad. I thought you were worth my time Dune. Don’t let everything that has happened between us be a waste.
So here I am, there you are. I am challenging you man to man, soul to soul. Do something. Hurt me. Break me. Destroy me.
Joey mimics the action he performed in the desert and sweeps his foot across the floor. He looks at the floor then back at the camera.
Joey: I’ve drawn the line in the sand Dune; let’s see if you are capable of crossing it.
Promise me...(Third Tape)
The camera flicks back on.
Joey: Scared of success? It took me about five years of arguing with myself, nights of denial, nights of crying while I laugh until I realised what he meant. You wanna know what he meant by that Christian? It doesn’t matter how much talent you have, it doesn’t matter how much intelligence you have, whether you’re sat in your mothers basement claiming you could be the next great novelist, whether you’re a struggling actor working in Burger King claiming you could be the next Al Pacino if you were just given the chance, if the right person saw you.
I see the opportunities open; I’ve got a clear view of the passing lane and every time I just let the ball go whistling past my ear and someone else gets the opportunity that was meant for me if I only had the courage to go take it. I know why now, I understand. I tell myself every time that ‘I don’t deserve it’ that because of who I am, because of what I’ve done in my life that nothing good can ever come to me, that nothing good can ever last. Then along you came, the one thing in my life that made me believe again, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me son. You’re…
Joey removes the handkerchief from his top pocket and dabs his eyes dry.
Joey: You’re my everything. By the time you’re watching this it will be a long time in the past and you’ve probably watched the tape of the match about a dozen times whether I win or lose. Your dad has a shot at the biggest prize in the world of professional sport, the WCF Heavyweight Championship. It only happened because of you, know this, it happened because you gave me the courage to finally step up to the ball destined for me, pick it out the air and take it back to the house.
With all my heart, I thank you.
