Post by Joey Flash on Sept 22, 2015 5:56:27 GMT -5
Promise me... (First Tape)
The camera begins rolling and flickers into focus into a small study like room, two streams of light illuminate the backdrop of the room as the dust floats aimlessly in the void of the air. Sitting down in front of the camera is Joey Flash. He is dressed immaculately in a black suit and tie, a puffed up handkerchief in his breast pocket and a dark deep purple waistcoat offsetting the black, his chiselled features look drawn and worn down. His cheeks look thin and his eyes sunken with deep rings that even makeup couldn’t help belie his sleepless nights. He takes a deep breath before drawing his slumped posture straight and his frown into a very much forced smile and gave a wave to the camera.
Joey: Hello Christian. If you’re watching this then you’re sixteen years old …or you’re a sneaky little kid who is going to get a backhand from me for finding this and watching it.
He smiles a warm beaming grin.
Joey: I don’t know why I’m doing this, but…I dunno, I guess I do know why I’m doing this, I lie. You’re nearly four years old now; when you were born I wasn’t any more unprepared. I couldn’t be more unprepared for anything else in my life. I didn’t know how children worked; I barely know how I work myself so how can I hope to look after a little life that relies on me for everything? Anyway…
He takes a breath.
Joey: I’m doing this because when I was about your age I lost both my mother and father, house fire, the flames took everything from me that day. They say my father left the iron on by mistake and just went to sleep. Paul and Isabella Malignaggi died in their sleep from the smoke, torched their lungs. The only reason I survived was because I was in a bed downstairs and the flames barely even touched the room, crazy right? I cried and I cried, but by the end of the year you know what? I was fine; I barely thought about them, you know how bad that sounds? Now I can’t even remember my father’s voice; I can barely even remember what they looked like. Every day of my life I wonder about them, what type of people were they? Were they kind, were they loving people?
I guess why I’m doing this is because no matter what, I want you to know your father.
He smiles softly.
Joey: My name is Joseph Malignaggi, born in Palermo in 1989 to Paul and Isabella. I have no brothers and sisters, I have no blood relatives…I had no blood relatives until…
He points to the camera.
Joey: You. I’m filming this on the 26th of September 2015, today son I’m going to be marrying the love of my life.
His mouth twitches as he says this and he wipes his brow.
Joey: I know she might be hard work at times, I mean damn, she’s bad enough now I can’t imagine the next ten years, but know that she loves you. She will…protect you, just if you can try to do the same for her, okay?
I’m filming this so you know me, not the me you hear from others, not the me you see on Television, but the me who loves you more than anything else in this world. You are the single most important thing in my life. You might hear a lot of things about me from lots of people, maybe some people like me, most probably the opposite…and they would be right.
I’m not a good person son, not by a long shot; I’m everything that I never want you to become. I do everything I do because of how I was raised in childhood, bouncing from parent to parent, from pizza box to pizza box trying to find sustenance enough to pull me through a cold winter’s night on the streets. I am who I am because I have had to do what I had to do to be here today, to be able to give you the life that I never had, to let you go through life happy. Are you happy Christian? I hope so. I really, really hope so.
Just know everything I do, I do for you. Everything I do is to give you a better life, if anything opposes that? I am willing to do life.
So yeah, maybe when you watch this you won’t even get this far, maybe you’ll hate me so much by then that you’ll have deleted this already. Just know, I am your father Christian, and I love you.
Steel and Sand (I)
The wind swept the sand across the wasteland as Joey Flashed stepped from the ruins of the Double X club with just one thought run through his mind.
‘Protect the girl’
He was staring down six rifles aimed directly at him, there was no cover, and there was no divine intervention to be had here in the heart of the Mojave. For Joseph Malignaggi there was only death. He took a defiant step forward and with a sweep of his foot drew a line in the sand. If he was going to make his last stand, he’d do it with fucking style.
Joey: Come, Jack.
Flash didn’t wait on ceremony, the only saving grace he had was the wind. Don’t die out on me wind. He used the same foot to kick as much sand as he could into the oncoming wind and as the men opened fire he peeled off to the other side, the sand cloud he kicked up was riddled with bullets but it wasn’t for a few seconds until the gunmen realised their target was the other direction, and much much closer. Joey took a deep gulp of oxygen and slid across the sand like Mike Powell after takeoff as he managed to slide behind one of the buggies. Another deep breath and he darted upward and unleashed a single overpowering shot from the shotgun; the shell buried itself squarely in the gut of one of the men.
He ducked back down, took another breath and emerged from a different spot behind the buggy he fired another shot in the general direction of the group but was back down in cover before he could see the damage, his peripheral vision signalled to him that he would have to be awfully quick on the reload as two of the men were rushing toward him. There is one thing to be said for Joseph Malignaggi, he damn sure is quick. He emptied the barrel and deposited a couple more shells, with a quick cocking of the gun he was back in action, he aimed at front of the buggy and pleaded.
Please be stupid.
They were stupid. Rather than having one from the front and another flanking both men trundled into his sights round the front, they barely had time to raise their rifles before Joey unloaded two shots and turned two heads into red mush. I guess fortune really was behind him, he plucked the assault rifle from the twitching hands of the dead gunman and peeked once more to find only three of the men standing, another reload and Joey was ready for the end. The wind whipped up once more and Joey sprinted from the back of one of the buggies as bullets tore through the wall of sand and flew past the flying Sicilian. He peeked once more and lined each of the men up before he fired three controlled bursts, two of the men dropped instantly with a stream of red from the back of their head joining the sand in a bloody dance in the wind. Joey had missed the kill on the third man, but he was on his knees and leaking blood from a wound on his shoulder.
What it must have looked like for that man, as he could see the long black hair flying in the wind and the piercing blue eyes stared at him through the sandstorm. Joey was stood over him as the man began to struggle to his feet, he reached for his erstwhile trusty rifle before Flash casually kicked it, and with it his only hope of salvation firmly out of reach.
Joey: Look at me.
The man looked terrified, even with the mask Joey could see. He aimed his own rifle at the man’s head.
Joey: You will never, ever hurt this girl. Now shuffle off this mortal coil.
He fired a single shot that rang with a harrowing finality as the man dropped to the floor, his lifeblood leaking into the sand. Flash surveyed the warzone; the carnage was overwhelming, if the odds were 100/1 for him to survive then god damn he was a fuckin lucky winner today. A quick sweep of the battlefield and Joey could confirm that all six men were down, with a deep breath he began to laugh. He had done it, he had really done it. The laugh turned in an instant to a horrified gasp, the six men were indeed dead, but it’s what was missing from this scene that made him take off toward the remnants of the Double X club…where the fuck was the dog?
Steel and Sand (II)
Joey Flash stepped across the threshold of the Double X club and was immediately aware of the change in atmosphere. The sweltering heat that was an overwhelming force everywhere he went in this desert had been replaced by a throbbing cold chill that pervaded the room, soon it because obvious why. Stood in the centre of the room were two figures, stood directly in front of him was Pinky, the lover of his arch enemy, the woman he had sworn to protect. Stood behind her was the cause of the chill and the conductor of this dirge.
Jack: Hello Joseph.
Pinky: Ru-
Jack grabbed Pinky by the hair and punched her once in the side of the face with a force that Joey instantly knew likely shattered the girl’s orbital bone. She screamed in agony and reached for her face only to receive another punch in the same spot, the scream became a whimper this time. Flash raised the rifle toward Jack only to find the man’s thin smile turn wide, the neatly trimmed beard can barely hide the man’s joy. He lets out a little giggle.
Jack: Stupid child, it won’t work. Your gun will jam.
Flash instead decided to drop Jack once and for all; he lined the sight straight at the forehead of the man and pulled the trigger. The only sound that rang through the ruins was the gurgling giggle from Jack once more.
Jack: It won’t work, not here. Do me the courtesy of talking, and drop the gun, we don’t want this lovely woman hurt by your stupidity do we Joseph?
Joey Flash was defeated. He dropped the rifle to the floor.
Jack: Good.
Joey Flash had been in this predicament many times in his life, hopeless scenarios, betrayals, multi layered deceit, but never had he felt anything remotely like what this situation was resonating. For the first time in his life Joey Flash felt truly helpless.
Jack: Did you enjoy the little game?
Joey: Game?
Jack: Those men, do you want to know what I told them?
He whispers to Pinky.
Jack: Do you want to know what I said?
He pulls her up by her hair and grabs her round her throat, he sniffs at the blood trickling down her cheek from the series of punches before talking to her again.
Jack: I told them, ‘Pinky is in danger; she’s being held captive by an enemy of Dune’s…’
Jack begins to walk, dragging the girl with him. They approach Flash step by step but even as they pass him by he feels helpless, as much as he wants to will his legs forward they remain rooted as if cased in cement. Jack and Pinky disappear from the Double X and all of a sudden Joey’s body responds to his will, he picks the rifle up again and sprints toward the door, as he steps outside the sunlight is overwhelming and the heat immediately returns, shivers turn to sweat in a matter of moments as Joey looks over the battlefield of five minutes ago to see Jack and Pinky in the middle of the brutality, Jack is still speaking.
Jack: ‘…he is a very very dangerous man, you need to be careful, you need to bring everything you have. I realise you might not believe me, why would you?’ Want to know what I did then?
He laughs and with a flick of the wrist magically produces a photograph from thin air into his hand, he turns it toward Pinky. It shows her tied up, bloody, beaten and battered with Joey Flash standing over her, sick grin on his face.
Pinky: Tha-tha-‘s not…
The pain was so intense she could barely speak.
Jack: Real? Of course not. This is simply…a trick.
In an instant the picture changes to a picture of Dune and Joey shaking hands in friendship, then to a graphic scene of Jack on top of Pinky as she screams in orgasmic ecstasy.
Jack: A trick always is rooted in reality though is it not girl? To show them the picture I wanted I needed a photograph to begin with; do you want to see what photograph I chose? The man was so angry when I mentioned you were in danger he didn’t even notice I’d stolen it.
The photograph of Jack and Pinky in coitus slowly fades and reverts to its natural original form, a little girl sat on her father’s knee. Pinky’s eyes widen in horror.
Pinky: No…
Jack’s grin hits a hundred megatons.
Jack: Oh yes. What would any father do when his daughter was in mortal danger from such a nasty evil man? What would your Dune do if he knew his unborn child was in danger? What would…
He licks his lips.
Jack: Your father do, Pinky?
Joey had heard enough.
Joey: STOP THIS.
Jack: Oh no no no. So what DID your father do Pinky? He came out here with five men he could trust more than any others in the world, they followed him with the knowledge they were ‘doing the right thing’, what a ridiculous notion.
Jack wrenches Pinky’s neck and angles her gaze down to the dead man on the ground.
Jack: ‘Shuffle off this mortal coil’ I believe Joseph?
Then in one swift movement removed the dead man’s mask to reveal the lifeless face of Pinky’s father, Chief, his face only belied one emotion in death, sorrow, sorrow that he couldn’t save the person who he cared for most in the world. Pinky was hysterical, the blood mixed with the tears as she stared at the man who had been her rock, her saviour, her role model, her…hero.
Pinky: You-
She wheeled round toward Jack, all the hatred, animosity and anger a human being can possibly possess and direct to another directed straight at this man she had met as a patron in her bar only a few nights ago, she would do anything to kill this man here. It was for this moment, it was for this moment that Pinky had always prepared, Dune had oft told her off for being constantly armed; that she didn’t need it, that she wouldn’t need it…well she needed it now. She reached toward her boot and pressed the release catch on her boot to release the small pistol; she raised the gun at the face of Jack and prepared to pull the trigger.
Jack: Too slow.
Pinky felt faint for a moment, then the pain shot through her body, followed by a thunderous crack of a gunshot. It was like time was frozen for a moment as the pain flowed through her, her vision began to splinter and drop in and out of darkness as she looked down to the epicentre of her pain, from her stomach leaked a flow of red. She felt her legs turn to jelly and her consciousness begin to fade. She saw the face of Jack, smiling, happy, triumphant…then she saw the barrel of a shotgun against the back of Jack’s head and heard only these words before fading into darkness. Pinky held onto a sliver of hope, Joey Flash was still trying to save what was left of her life.
'I will NOT let her die!'
Steel and Sand (III)
Joey Flash pulled the trigger and in the space between squeeze and the point blank impact of the shotgun blast Jack had disappeared. Flash had never seen anything of the like before, one second there was a man, no, a being, there and the next there wasn’t, it was like he never even existed. The proof of Jack’s machinations lay on the ground bleeding to death.
Joey: Hey, hey stay with me.
He checked her pulse, it was both erratic and slow, this was bad, this was real bad. Flash pulled the loose shirt he was wearing over his head and in one movement ripped it in half. He pulled Pinky’s top upward to see the coagulated gore around her midsection, it made him wince just looking at it. He pressed his left hand down on her wound and held it there for a moment. He didn’t know first aid; he barely had a clue what to do in this situation. The only hope he had was chance and luck. He wrapped the torn shirt around her stomach, a pitiful and makeshift tourniquet to be sure, but it was all he had. He picked the broken dying woman up and loaded her onto one of the buggies, taking a glance at the man he had killed earlier, the man known as Chief.
‘I am sorry. You were an amazing father. I will save her…I swear it. I am sorry’
The buggy sped across the desert, Flash had no idea what to do, where to go. The only destination he knew was the one he was taken to on his first visit to this forsaken land. The horseshoe canyon that Joey Flash had visited only last month came into view, as he approached he thought of the man inside. This wasn’t how the war between Joey Flash and Dune was meant to go; it was supposed to be a wrestling match, a test of skill and will, not…not whatever this had become. This feud, this match, this fucking quest Joey had been on the past few months of relentlessly pursuing the champion for the simple and transient joy of being called ‘World Champion’. Because of this selfish dream people had died, people were dying and lives were being ruined. This was not how things were supposed to go.
They entered the canyon and Joey manoeuvred to where Dune kept the keypad for the entrance to his home. Flash had made sure to note in his mind the sequence of numbers Dune entered the last time they were here, just in case…he tapped the keypad with the same code. With a flash of a red light the word ‘Denied’ came up. He hit the keyboard again, please, please work. Denied again. The pass code had been changed. Flash tried to wake Pinky from her pain and shock induced silence to no avail. He picked the girl up and gently laid her in the shade at the side of where the doorway would open. He stared upward at where the CCTV camera used to spot potential raiders and bandits was stationed and spoke.
Joey: I don’t know whether you can hear me through this, I don’t know whether any of this will get through. Please, if anyone is there open the fucking door. Please, just, just open the door. She is hurt, she is really badly hurt and I don’t know if she’s going to be okay. DUNE!
The door didn’t open, only the wind of the Mojave responded with a whipping scream along the cavern.
Joey: Pinky is an amazing woman, if anyone in this world can survive…this…then maybe…
This woman was strong, if anyone could survive this it was her. The woman kissed by the flame. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Joey: Pull through. Please.
He looked at the wound and the blood still slowly seeping through the material and wasn’t hopeful.
Joey: I’m sorry.
He looked toward the CCTV camera addressing the invisble spectre of Dune and mouthed the very same.
‘I’m sorry.’
Blood and Gold
The camera’s glare weighed heavy on Joey Flash this day. Usually this sort of thing would be like breathing. He forgot he had requested a special set of promotional videos to be put together by WCF studios; the whole crew was setting up at his Brooklyn mansion by the time he arrived home from the Mojave. He had done what he had set out to do, Joey Flash had found himself. What he had found was a man that had no chance at happiness, a man who courted death and destruction with every breath he took, a man who just by being here and being alive endangered everything and everyone he ever cared about. He affixed a fake smile to his face as he stepped in front of the screen the crew had set up for the filming.
Cameraman: You ready?
Joey: Ready as I’ll ever be.
The cameraman held his fingers in the air, 3…2…in the final second before the film went live Joey thought about this match. Was it worth it? Was it worth everything that has happened? Was it worth the death and destruction, the hurt and the pain? He thought of Occulo and the pain he had put his old rival through, he thought of Howard Black and the pain and suffering Howard’s wife and son would have to deal with, the horror of seeing their hero being broken in front of their eyes. He thought of Freeman, the old and helpless mentor, he thought of Chief, the concerned father who only wanted to protect his most cherished person in the world. He thought of Pinky, that woman who was so full of spirit and life, the woman who was to be a mother soon, the torment she would go through even if she survived, the emptiness of fragile foetal life in her womb.
Then he thought of Dune. He thought of the man who had beaten Joey to every milestone, to every goal, the man who dethroned ICE Beckman, who has vanquished challenger after challenger. The man who Joey had to hear being called ‘The best wrestler in the world’, the man who Joey had to see day in day out be called ‘WCF World Champion’. This image drove every other thought from his mind. Was it worth all the pain, all the suffering, all the hurt?
Joey took a deep breath and steadies himself and only one word resonated within his thoughts.
‘Yes.’
Joey: Finally.
He took another deep breath.
Joey: It’s finally time. Can you feel it people? Can you feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up? This is the time that has been destined since the day I first stepped through the door into WCF property. This is the one moment you people have been dreading so very long but every single one of you had already accepted this as inevitability. I can’t stop smiling; I can’t stop my body shaking in excitement. You all know the struggles I’ve had, the hardships, but this, this is better than the first hit of heroin, I’ve caught the dragon, I’ve got his neck in my hands and I’m about to twist the ever loving life out of it.
What a moment, what a time to be alive. Since the moment I arrived here I’ve strived after, no I’ve fucking demanded one thing, to get what I’m owed.
Joey Flash after ten long months gets what he has deserved since day fucking one. A World Title shot. This is amazing. Ten months ago Joey Flash met Seth Lerch for the first time and signed his fuckin soul away to this company, every drop of sweat I’ve spilled for you people watching me, begging me to lose. Well shit now I’m one match away, I’m five minutes of a beating away and three seconds of my opponents shoulders on the mat.
This has been fun to listen to you idiot fans. A month ago I heard what people were saying about the possibility of this match, ‘routine defence’ ‘easy win’ ‘one sided beat down’ and every single one of these has me salivating even more at stepping through the ropes for this match. Then what has happened? What has happened since I decided to actually…wrestle? You tell me?
He holds his arms out waiting for a non-existent response.
Joey: I’ve wiped the floor with every person who has desires at top tier status in this federation, it hasn’t been a tough road, it hasn’t been a slog or anything remotely like that, it’s been EASY. It’s beautiful to me really; we had a whole new generation of fans here who have absolutely no idea about Joey Flash. People hear Joey Flash and think ‘joke’, they think of the guy who lost to Grime, the guy who got pinned in Trios, who lost to Adam Young. Yet we have another generation of fans who have been dreading this moment and praying Joey Flash would never get a shot at the World Title because of how unbelievably dominant he will be at the top of the mountain.
Which side should you believe? How about believe your own fucking eyes. There won’t be a 50/50 split on which side Joey Flash falls, there won’t be a split on who is the dominant force in the federation, trust me, I won’t leave a split on what the most one sided demolition of a World Champion by their challenger in WCF history is going to be. I think right about…
Joey looks at his watch.
Joey: Now is when both the fans and my opponent know what this is going to be, and they have that sinking feeling that they jumped straight into shark infested waters while already leaking blood.
Joey pauses for a moment.
Joey: Is there something I haven’t mentioned yet? Is there a certain someone that’s slipping my mind? Could it be that the mythical, unbeatable, amazing, unstoppable World Champion hasn’t been mentioned yet? I think it’s about time.
We’re going to get it started right, we ain’t gonna waste no time, this is going to be an absolute bodybag from start to finish. Hello Dune. We’re finally going to fight. It’s finally going to happen, we’ve waited nigh on half a year for this moment to come, but it’s here. It’s finally here.
Joey licks his lips.
Joey: This is a moment of such monumental and epic proportions we’ve reduced the WCF’s signature match into a fucking sideshow to our match. Dune vs Joey Flash, the two biggest box office and marquee names in the company, the two most talented men in the company, the two best wrestlers in the world, finally, one on one. There are no words that can aptly describe the importance of this match for the WCF, for the fans, for us as competitors and for us as men.
Joey Flash and Dune, we joined this company at the end of 2014, we were immediately paired together as part of the ‘super rookie class’. You, me, Occulo, DVS, Maelstrom…Scarecrow, of that group we are the only two left Dune, the only two. It was an inevitability that this was a match I would eventually have to deal with, so here we fucking go Dune.
He takes a deep breath and brushes his hair back.
You’ve faced so many pretenders, so many people who like to talk big games but at the end of the day lack the one thing you need to be World Champion .
Joey pounds his chest.
Joey: This is the first time you’re coming up against someone who has the exact same will and desire you have toward the title. The title is everything to you? Well it’s even more than that to me; it’s an affirmation of my fucking life. I’ll sacrifice everything I have, everything I am for the taste of the gold. The belt? Nothing but material. The thing I’m interested in is the TITLE. That shit is a statement; it’s a testament to the title of ‘best wrestler’ that my name is already engraved in. Wanna know right now why you’re going to lose your belt to me? Because the TITLE is already mine. You’re the World Champion and for the first time in your life you’re the bonafide straight up underdog, you’ve been the overwhelming favourite in every match since you’ve grabbed the belt, even against Beckman you were the favourite. In this one though? Tables are completely fuckin flipped. There isn’t a man alive who would be close to even money against Joey Flash.
You’re not fighting to defend your title; you’re fighting for an ounce of legitimacy in your otherwise pathetic and worthless title reign. Murdock? Suck a dick. Hatcher? Suck a dick. Showdown? Suck a dick. THOMAS URIEL FUCKING BATES? Suck as fat southern dick. You’re finally fighting someone of true quality one on one, this is the measure of a man and you’re not even going to hit one millimetre on the ruler. As far as this match goes I AM the champion, the WCF is my house and I’ve allowed you to kick your feet up for too long. So now I’m going to do it right, time to keep this weak ass tenant out, your rent’s overdue and you’re about to get buried.
I am the king here; do you not understand this Dune? You cannot impose your will or your skill on someone who has total and utter control of the situation. See for the past year you’ve been clawing and fighting tooth and nail to climb to the top of the mountain that I’ve been sat waiting at the summit of since you even started, I’ve been at the top without even trying. I’m the star you chase and try to align with, the moment I made my debut here I already solidified my status, a status it’s taken you more than half a year to achieve, am I lying? Then why when you’ve accomplished so much more than me, won Trilogy, won Ultimate Showdown, World Champ…am I still ten times a bigger name than you?
Joey smiles.
Joey: This place IS my house. You will stand where I say you stand, you will sit when I say sit. You will beg, you will cry and you will lose. What’s this Dune? It’s not going how you expect? You getting that knot in ya stomach? That frog in ya throat? Bitch you’re facing Joey Flash in a World Title match, hello Titanic, meet tip of Iceberg, want to be introduced to the rest?
What’s happening Dune? WCF viewing public, question for you folks peep this, how on earth can this guy be the face of the company when he so insecure he’s scared to even show his face to the public? Disfigured fuckin faggot I can imagine the hurt in your heart every time they show our images next to each other and how you curse the lord for how you’ve been genetically fucked in life compared to Joseph fuckin Flash.
‘Oh he’s so beautiful god I’d love him to fuck me’
To
*INSERT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEME*
Fuck man you’re a disgrace. Socially awkward queer, you’re the type of bitch to turn up to a party and be like ‘HEY HEY GUYS, SO UH…LET’S DO SOME BEER!!!’
Joey shakes his head.
Joey: Madness, you’re leaking money for Seth with your pathetic unmarketable bland ass right now. More shit for the WCF fans, pop quiz.
1) Name one original and interesting thing Dune has brought to being World Champion?
What? I can hear a lot of crickets but no one speaking up.
2) Name the one on one defence this guy had that has excited you before I appeared?
No?
3) Name one moment you’ve been emotionally invested or excited by a single thing this fuckin walking cure for insomnia has ever done here? The fans don’t care if you live or you die, they don’t care about your history or your family. Why? Because you are such an emotional void whose life is like a cheesy eighties Sci-Fi serial, ‘What will Dune get up to next week? Will he escape from the clone/mutant/dragon/alien, save the day and get the girl?’ Answer: We don’t fucking care. You know it’s telling when in your promos people care more about what happens to your fucking dog than what happens to you.
Sorry to break it to you Dune, you want to know what you are to these people? You are what we call a ‘transitional champion’, you’re the little period of time the fans block out of their memory in between interesting and captivating World Champions… months they’ll have completely blank memories of in WCF history.
‘ICE was World Champ, then Joey Flash, what happened in the few months between then?’
‘I dunno I guess it was vacant’
This is how boring you are Dune; this is how meaningless you are in the big picture of things. You are martyr to the church of Flash; you are a sacrificial fucking lamb to my reign as champion. ICE would have been the exact same thing but I dealt with him in a much more effective way that got him out of the way for good. Maybe once War is done you’ll disappear to wherever the fuck you came from and not bother us with your bland shit anymore. You were being humoured at first Dune, but now it’s nothing more than boredom leading into disdain, you can hear the cries from the crowd, the mutterings as you deliver the same old shit week after week, fastball every time you just can’t change up.
What was once a legend in the making is becoming a memory that’s fading, the memory of someone who had potential, once. People had high hopes for you, maybe you’d be the next one, maybe you’d be the guy to shine, to carry WCF into a new era. Sorry to disappoint, Occam’s razor shit, sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct one; it’s been Joey fuckin Flash all along.
Want to know what you are at the base of everything Dune?
Mr Monotony.
Mr Same shit different day.
Mr People only rooted for you to become Champ because of how terrible your predecessor is, now that’s out of the way people are sick to fucking death of seeing the same uncouth, uncaring, unwashed, unstylish, underdeveloped black hole of charisma sucking the air out of the arena every time his ugly fuckin face appears on screen.
You are average. You are average, boring, basic, bland and fucking formulaic. You entertained at first and brought something fresh to the game, but now we are fucking tired of you. Come on Dune, even you’re not that ignorant, that mask isn’t stopping your sense of smell right?
Even you can smell your fucking novelty wearing off.
Joey gives himself the fuckin screwface at the searing heat he just delivered to the pitiful Dune, Joey was even starting to feel a bit sorry for Dune at this point…sike, no of course he didn’t, instead he decided to ether Dune some more.
Joey: Don’t feel so bad Dune, chin up, masked metal mandibled mongoloid. Give us that winning smile!
Joey flashes his own smile.
Joey: This would have happened to anyone who had the misfortune of drawing the shortest of straws in professional wrestling history; it could have been my friend Jonny right now receiving the exact same level of soul rending bodybag material. The person who was to make their defence against me for the World Title was doomed from the damn start, don’t take it as a bad thing that you’ll fail, take it as a learning experience. In this instance, to never ever step foot in the ring with me with that belt on the line again, this is going to be a beating you’re not going to come back from. This isn’t a match people will watch and scream ‘rematch, rematch!’ it will be a match people watch and scream ‘god please stop the damn fight already’ and ask themselves ‘Will Dune ever wrestle again?’ after it.
This isn’t debateable, this isn’t a classic by any fucking accounts, this is one man so much better than any of his peers dominating the person who the company and the public deem closest to his level. That’s all this is. Your sense of pride won’t allow that though will it Dune? I know exactly what type of person you are. You’ll come with your ego puffed and your pride welling up in ya bird chest and read from Dune Script v5 the same old repetitive shit.
What’s it going to be this time Dune hmm? Let me help you out a little bit, let me help you with your script shall I?
- I lost to Grime
- I got pinned in Trios
- I formed Imperium
- I lost to Adam Young
- I’ve got a tough family life…
- …but you’ve got it tougher.
- I’ve had a rough history…
- …but you’ve had it rougher.
- I’ve had a great first year in WCF…
- …but you’ve done it better.
- How I’ve wallowed in the mid card for so long, how I’ve won no major titles, how I’ve attacked Occulo, how I’ve attacked Howie, how I’ve attacked Freeman and this is going to be an aptly named show about ‘War’.
You’ll say some shit about fire, you’ll talk about how you’ll burn my life down around me and you’ll act so defiant and strong.
Joey claps.
Joey: It’s beautiful. I should pitch that shit to Hollywood. What? Make a move Dune. Prove me wrong. What do you have for me? You fucking bland unoriginal joke. Your style is outdated and pathetic, you’re one of the most simple, easy to figure out wrestlers on the roster and yet no one seems to have the same eyes for it as I do. People think you’re some deep thinker who plans his matches out so meticulously, studies the tape, studies the opponent and trains correctly…I mean shit we’ve all seen your 80’s training montages with Freeman right? Go you. That type of preparation might serve you well against 99.9% of this federation where you can scrape by on skill alone but you’re in the rare air only the pair of us can breathe in, I’m steady and calm whereas you’re struggling for every gulp of oxygen. Your analytical brain is impressive for sure, you target your opponent where they’re most weak and by god man you fucking destroy it, it’s like you’re a computer playing chess against chimps for the most part in this federation.
This time a fucking Grandmaster is stepping to you, I’ll beat Deep Blue in only three moves.
This match isn’t just going to show why I’m the most transcendent athlete in the business, but why a mind like mine has long been feared here. Every single domino is falling into place heading into the match, I’m leading you right into my web and yet you have absolutely no idea what’s going on around you. You’re my greatest creation Dune, I’m writing this whole story and you’re my protagonist, this is your tale of success and failure and ultimately getting killed in the centre of the ring by Joey fucking Flash, I’ve dug a grave complete with headstone and all, shit it’s your story Dune, its only right I put you in the plot.
Joey smiles.
Joey: We got bodybags on deck? Yep. I get it Dune, you’re feeling a little deflated, a little sad, those thoughts are starting already those thoughts of ‘Maybe I’m in over my head after all’, ‘Maybe Joey Flash IS as good as he says he is’, ‘Maybe I’m not as good as I thought…’ I guess right about now you’re starting to understand what Beckman felt at the start of the week when he realised the mountain he had to climb to beat you huh?
Let it sink in, let it sink in really deep. I love the fear, I love the doubts , I want nothing more than to completely and utterly destroy you before we even step through the ropes cos inside? Well you can ask your ‘brothers’ Howard and Occulo what happens there.
Shit that reminds me! It’s been a whole Joey Flash promo and we haven’t gotten personal yet? What is the world coming to? Well Dune let me put it in a way you’ll understand, you always do talk about fire and heat like you’re a fuckin propane salesman or something. Hank Hill ass bastard, lemme lay it out for you this way. This time? Me rubbing sticks and blowing embers, but what’s coming next? Flamethrowers and fucking napalm, that unease and doubt that’s creeping in is going to consume you by the time I’m done.
You’re already one foot in the grave and by god you’re going to get absolutely fucking buried. Bodybags on deck.
The screen cuts to black.
The camera begins rolling and flickers into focus into a small study like room, two streams of light illuminate the backdrop of the room as the dust floats aimlessly in the void of the air. Sitting down in front of the camera is Joey Flash. He is dressed immaculately in a black suit and tie, a puffed up handkerchief in his breast pocket and a dark deep purple waistcoat offsetting the black, his chiselled features look drawn and worn down. His cheeks look thin and his eyes sunken with deep rings that even makeup couldn’t help belie his sleepless nights. He takes a deep breath before drawing his slumped posture straight and his frown into a very much forced smile and gave a wave to the camera.
Joey: Hello Christian. If you’re watching this then you’re sixteen years old …or you’re a sneaky little kid who is going to get a backhand from me for finding this and watching it.
He smiles a warm beaming grin.
Joey: I don’t know why I’m doing this, but…I dunno, I guess I do know why I’m doing this, I lie. You’re nearly four years old now; when you were born I wasn’t any more unprepared. I couldn’t be more unprepared for anything else in my life. I didn’t know how children worked; I barely know how I work myself so how can I hope to look after a little life that relies on me for everything? Anyway…
He takes a breath.
Joey: I’m doing this because when I was about your age I lost both my mother and father, house fire, the flames took everything from me that day. They say my father left the iron on by mistake and just went to sleep. Paul and Isabella Malignaggi died in their sleep from the smoke, torched their lungs. The only reason I survived was because I was in a bed downstairs and the flames barely even touched the room, crazy right? I cried and I cried, but by the end of the year you know what? I was fine; I barely thought about them, you know how bad that sounds? Now I can’t even remember my father’s voice; I can barely even remember what they looked like. Every day of my life I wonder about them, what type of people were they? Were they kind, were they loving people?
I guess why I’m doing this is because no matter what, I want you to know your father.
He smiles softly.
Joey: My name is Joseph Malignaggi, born in Palermo in 1989 to Paul and Isabella. I have no brothers and sisters, I have no blood relatives…I had no blood relatives until…
He points to the camera.
Joey: You. I’m filming this on the 26th of September 2015, today son I’m going to be marrying the love of my life.
His mouth twitches as he says this and he wipes his brow.
Joey: I know she might be hard work at times, I mean damn, she’s bad enough now I can’t imagine the next ten years, but know that she loves you. She will…protect you, just if you can try to do the same for her, okay?
I’m filming this so you know me, not the me you hear from others, not the me you see on Television, but the me who loves you more than anything else in this world. You are the single most important thing in my life. You might hear a lot of things about me from lots of people, maybe some people like me, most probably the opposite…and they would be right.
I’m not a good person son, not by a long shot; I’m everything that I never want you to become. I do everything I do because of how I was raised in childhood, bouncing from parent to parent, from pizza box to pizza box trying to find sustenance enough to pull me through a cold winter’s night on the streets. I am who I am because I have had to do what I had to do to be here today, to be able to give you the life that I never had, to let you go through life happy. Are you happy Christian? I hope so. I really, really hope so.
Just know everything I do, I do for you. Everything I do is to give you a better life, if anything opposes that? I am willing to do life.
So yeah, maybe when you watch this you won’t even get this far, maybe you’ll hate me so much by then that you’ll have deleted this already. Just know, I am your father Christian, and I love you.
Steel and Sand (I)
The wind swept the sand across the wasteland as Joey Flashed stepped from the ruins of the Double X club with just one thought run through his mind.
‘Protect the girl’
He was staring down six rifles aimed directly at him, there was no cover, and there was no divine intervention to be had here in the heart of the Mojave. For Joseph Malignaggi there was only death. He took a defiant step forward and with a sweep of his foot drew a line in the sand. If he was going to make his last stand, he’d do it with fucking style.
Joey: Come, Jack.
Flash didn’t wait on ceremony, the only saving grace he had was the wind. Don’t die out on me wind. He used the same foot to kick as much sand as he could into the oncoming wind and as the men opened fire he peeled off to the other side, the sand cloud he kicked up was riddled with bullets but it wasn’t for a few seconds until the gunmen realised their target was the other direction, and much much closer. Joey took a deep gulp of oxygen and slid across the sand like Mike Powell after takeoff as he managed to slide behind one of the buggies. Another deep breath and he darted upward and unleashed a single overpowering shot from the shotgun; the shell buried itself squarely in the gut of one of the men.
He ducked back down, took another breath and emerged from a different spot behind the buggy he fired another shot in the general direction of the group but was back down in cover before he could see the damage, his peripheral vision signalled to him that he would have to be awfully quick on the reload as two of the men were rushing toward him. There is one thing to be said for Joseph Malignaggi, he damn sure is quick. He emptied the barrel and deposited a couple more shells, with a quick cocking of the gun he was back in action, he aimed at front of the buggy and pleaded.
Please be stupid.
They were stupid. Rather than having one from the front and another flanking both men trundled into his sights round the front, they barely had time to raise their rifles before Joey unloaded two shots and turned two heads into red mush. I guess fortune really was behind him, he plucked the assault rifle from the twitching hands of the dead gunman and peeked once more to find only three of the men standing, another reload and Joey was ready for the end. The wind whipped up once more and Joey sprinted from the back of one of the buggies as bullets tore through the wall of sand and flew past the flying Sicilian. He peeked once more and lined each of the men up before he fired three controlled bursts, two of the men dropped instantly with a stream of red from the back of their head joining the sand in a bloody dance in the wind. Joey had missed the kill on the third man, but he was on his knees and leaking blood from a wound on his shoulder.
What it must have looked like for that man, as he could see the long black hair flying in the wind and the piercing blue eyes stared at him through the sandstorm. Joey was stood over him as the man began to struggle to his feet, he reached for his erstwhile trusty rifle before Flash casually kicked it, and with it his only hope of salvation firmly out of reach.
Joey: Look at me.
The man looked terrified, even with the mask Joey could see. He aimed his own rifle at the man’s head.
Joey: You will never, ever hurt this girl. Now shuffle off this mortal coil.
He fired a single shot that rang with a harrowing finality as the man dropped to the floor, his lifeblood leaking into the sand. Flash surveyed the warzone; the carnage was overwhelming, if the odds were 100/1 for him to survive then god damn he was a fuckin lucky winner today. A quick sweep of the battlefield and Joey could confirm that all six men were down, with a deep breath he began to laugh. He had done it, he had really done it. The laugh turned in an instant to a horrified gasp, the six men were indeed dead, but it’s what was missing from this scene that made him take off toward the remnants of the Double X club…where the fuck was the dog?
Steel and Sand (II)
Joey Flash stepped across the threshold of the Double X club and was immediately aware of the change in atmosphere. The sweltering heat that was an overwhelming force everywhere he went in this desert had been replaced by a throbbing cold chill that pervaded the room, soon it because obvious why. Stood in the centre of the room were two figures, stood directly in front of him was Pinky, the lover of his arch enemy, the woman he had sworn to protect. Stood behind her was the cause of the chill and the conductor of this dirge.
Jack: Hello Joseph.
Pinky: Ru-
Jack grabbed Pinky by the hair and punched her once in the side of the face with a force that Joey instantly knew likely shattered the girl’s orbital bone. She screamed in agony and reached for her face only to receive another punch in the same spot, the scream became a whimper this time. Flash raised the rifle toward Jack only to find the man’s thin smile turn wide, the neatly trimmed beard can barely hide the man’s joy. He lets out a little giggle.
Jack: Stupid child, it won’t work. Your gun will jam.
Flash instead decided to drop Jack once and for all; he lined the sight straight at the forehead of the man and pulled the trigger. The only sound that rang through the ruins was the gurgling giggle from Jack once more.
Jack: It won’t work, not here. Do me the courtesy of talking, and drop the gun, we don’t want this lovely woman hurt by your stupidity do we Joseph?
Joey Flash was defeated. He dropped the rifle to the floor.
Jack: Good.
Joey Flash had been in this predicament many times in his life, hopeless scenarios, betrayals, multi layered deceit, but never had he felt anything remotely like what this situation was resonating. For the first time in his life Joey Flash felt truly helpless.
Jack: Did you enjoy the little game?
Joey: Game?
Jack: Those men, do you want to know what I told them?
He whispers to Pinky.
Jack: Do you want to know what I said?
He pulls her up by her hair and grabs her round her throat, he sniffs at the blood trickling down her cheek from the series of punches before talking to her again.
Jack: I told them, ‘Pinky is in danger; she’s being held captive by an enemy of Dune’s…’
Jack begins to walk, dragging the girl with him. They approach Flash step by step but even as they pass him by he feels helpless, as much as he wants to will his legs forward they remain rooted as if cased in cement. Jack and Pinky disappear from the Double X and all of a sudden Joey’s body responds to his will, he picks the rifle up again and sprints toward the door, as he steps outside the sunlight is overwhelming and the heat immediately returns, shivers turn to sweat in a matter of moments as Joey looks over the battlefield of five minutes ago to see Jack and Pinky in the middle of the brutality, Jack is still speaking.
Jack: ‘…he is a very very dangerous man, you need to be careful, you need to bring everything you have. I realise you might not believe me, why would you?’ Want to know what I did then?
He laughs and with a flick of the wrist magically produces a photograph from thin air into his hand, he turns it toward Pinky. It shows her tied up, bloody, beaten and battered with Joey Flash standing over her, sick grin on his face.
Pinky: Tha-tha-‘s not…
The pain was so intense she could barely speak.
Jack: Real? Of course not. This is simply…a trick.
In an instant the picture changes to a picture of Dune and Joey shaking hands in friendship, then to a graphic scene of Jack on top of Pinky as she screams in orgasmic ecstasy.
Jack: A trick always is rooted in reality though is it not girl? To show them the picture I wanted I needed a photograph to begin with; do you want to see what photograph I chose? The man was so angry when I mentioned you were in danger he didn’t even notice I’d stolen it.
The photograph of Jack and Pinky in coitus slowly fades and reverts to its natural original form, a little girl sat on her father’s knee. Pinky’s eyes widen in horror.
Pinky: No…
Jack’s grin hits a hundred megatons.
Jack: Oh yes. What would any father do when his daughter was in mortal danger from such a nasty evil man? What would your Dune do if he knew his unborn child was in danger? What would…
He licks his lips.
Jack: Your father do, Pinky?
Joey had heard enough.
Joey: STOP THIS.
Jack: Oh no no no. So what DID your father do Pinky? He came out here with five men he could trust more than any others in the world, they followed him with the knowledge they were ‘doing the right thing’, what a ridiculous notion.
Jack wrenches Pinky’s neck and angles her gaze down to the dead man on the ground.
Jack: ‘Shuffle off this mortal coil’ I believe Joseph?
Then in one swift movement removed the dead man’s mask to reveal the lifeless face of Pinky’s father, Chief, his face only belied one emotion in death, sorrow, sorrow that he couldn’t save the person who he cared for most in the world. Pinky was hysterical, the blood mixed with the tears as she stared at the man who had been her rock, her saviour, her role model, her…hero.
Pinky: You-
She wheeled round toward Jack, all the hatred, animosity and anger a human being can possibly possess and direct to another directed straight at this man she had met as a patron in her bar only a few nights ago, she would do anything to kill this man here. It was for this moment, it was for this moment that Pinky had always prepared, Dune had oft told her off for being constantly armed; that she didn’t need it, that she wouldn’t need it…well she needed it now. She reached toward her boot and pressed the release catch on her boot to release the small pistol; she raised the gun at the face of Jack and prepared to pull the trigger.
Jack: Too slow.
Pinky felt faint for a moment, then the pain shot through her body, followed by a thunderous crack of a gunshot. It was like time was frozen for a moment as the pain flowed through her, her vision began to splinter and drop in and out of darkness as she looked down to the epicentre of her pain, from her stomach leaked a flow of red. She felt her legs turn to jelly and her consciousness begin to fade. She saw the face of Jack, smiling, happy, triumphant…then she saw the barrel of a shotgun against the back of Jack’s head and heard only these words before fading into darkness. Pinky held onto a sliver of hope, Joey Flash was still trying to save what was left of her life.
'I will NOT let her die!'
Steel and Sand (III)
Joey Flash pulled the trigger and in the space between squeeze and the point blank impact of the shotgun blast Jack had disappeared. Flash had never seen anything of the like before, one second there was a man, no, a being, there and the next there wasn’t, it was like he never even existed. The proof of Jack’s machinations lay on the ground bleeding to death.
Joey: Hey, hey stay with me.
He checked her pulse, it was both erratic and slow, this was bad, this was real bad. Flash pulled the loose shirt he was wearing over his head and in one movement ripped it in half. He pulled Pinky’s top upward to see the coagulated gore around her midsection, it made him wince just looking at it. He pressed his left hand down on her wound and held it there for a moment. He didn’t know first aid; he barely had a clue what to do in this situation. The only hope he had was chance and luck. He wrapped the torn shirt around her stomach, a pitiful and makeshift tourniquet to be sure, but it was all he had. He picked the broken dying woman up and loaded her onto one of the buggies, taking a glance at the man he had killed earlier, the man known as Chief.
‘I am sorry. You were an amazing father. I will save her…I swear it. I am sorry’
The buggy sped across the desert, Flash had no idea what to do, where to go. The only destination he knew was the one he was taken to on his first visit to this forsaken land. The horseshoe canyon that Joey Flash had visited only last month came into view, as he approached he thought of the man inside. This wasn’t how the war between Joey Flash and Dune was meant to go; it was supposed to be a wrestling match, a test of skill and will, not…not whatever this had become. This feud, this match, this fucking quest Joey had been on the past few months of relentlessly pursuing the champion for the simple and transient joy of being called ‘World Champion’. Because of this selfish dream people had died, people were dying and lives were being ruined. This was not how things were supposed to go.
They entered the canyon and Joey manoeuvred to where Dune kept the keypad for the entrance to his home. Flash had made sure to note in his mind the sequence of numbers Dune entered the last time they were here, just in case…he tapped the keypad with the same code. With a flash of a red light the word ‘Denied’ came up. He hit the keyboard again, please, please work. Denied again. The pass code had been changed. Flash tried to wake Pinky from her pain and shock induced silence to no avail. He picked the girl up and gently laid her in the shade at the side of where the doorway would open. He stared upward at where the CCTV camera used to spot potential raiders and bandits was stationed and spoke.
Joey: I don’t know whether you can hear me through this, I don’t know whether any of this will get through. Please, if anyone is there open the fucking door. Please, just, just open the door. She is hurt, she is really badly hurt and I don’t know if she’s going to be okay. DUNE!
The door didn’t open, only the wind of the Mojave responded with a whipping scream along the cavern.
Joey: Pinky is an amazing woman, if anyone in this world can survive…this…then maybe…
This woman was strong, if anyone could survive this it was her. The woman kissed by the flame. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Joey: Pull through. Please.
He looked at the wound and the blood still slowly seeping through the material and wasn’t hopeful.
Joey: I’m sorry.
He looked toward the CCTV camera addressing the invisble spectre of Dune and mouthed the very same.
‘I’m sorry.’
Blood and Gold
The camera’s glare weighed heavy on Joey Flash this day. Usually this sort of thing would be like breathing. He forgot he had requested a special set of promotional videos to be put together by WCF studios; the whole crew was setting up at his Brooklyn mansion by the time he arrived home from the Mojave. He had done what he had set out to do, Joey Flash had found himself. What he had found was a man that had no chance at happiness, a man who courted death and destruction with every breath he took, a man who just by being here and being alive endangered everything and everyone he ever cared about. He affixed a fake smile to his face as he stepped in front of the screen the crew had set up for the filming.
Cameraman: You ready?
Joey: Ready as I’ll ever be.
The cameraman held his fingers in the air, 3…2…in the final second before the film went live Joey thought about this match. Was it worth it? Was it worth everything that has happened? Was it worth the death and destruction, the hurt and the pain? He thought of Occulo and the pain he had put his old rival through, he thought of Howard Black and the pain and suffering Howard’s wife and son would have to deal with, the horror of seeing their hero being broken in front of their eyes. He thought of Freeman, the old and helpless mentor, he thought of Chief, the concerned father who only wanted to protect his most cherished person in the world. He thought of Pinky, that woman who was so full of spirit and life, the woman who was to be a mother soon, the torment she would go through even if she survived, the emptiness of fragile foetal life in her womb.
Then he thought of Dune. He thought of the man who had beaten Joey to every milestone, to every goal, the man who dethroned ICE Beckman, who has vanquished challenger after challenger. The man who Joey had to hear being called ‘The best wrestler in the world’, the man who Joey had to see day in day out be called ‘WCF World Champion’. This image drove every other thought from his mind. Was it worth all the pain, all the suffering, all the hurt?
Joey took a deep breath and steadies himself and only one word resonated within his thoughts.
‘Yes.’
Joey: Finally.
He took another deep breath.
Joey: It’s finally time. Can you feel it people? Can you feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up? This is the time that has been destined since the day I first stepped through the door into WCF property. This is the one moment you people have been dreading so very long but every single one of you had already accepted this as inevitability. I can’t stop smiling; I can’t stop my body shaking in excitement. You all know the struggles I’ve had, the hardships, but this, this is better than the first hit of heroin, I’ve caught the dragon, I’ve got his neck in my hands and I’m about to twist the ever loving life out of it.
What a moment, what a time to be alive. Since the moment I arrived here I’ve strived after, no I’ve fucking demanded one thing, to get what I’m owed.
Joey Flash after ten long months gets what he has deserved since day fucking one. A World Title shot. This is amazing. Ten months ago Joey Flash met Seth Lerch for the first time and signed his fuckin soul away to this company, every drop of sweat I’ve spilled for you people watching me, begging me to lose. Well shit now I’m one match away, I’m five minutes of a beating away and three seconds of my opponents shoulders on the mat.
This has been fun to listen to you idiot fans. A month ago I heard what people were saying about the possibility of this match, ‘routine defence’ ‘easy win’ ‘one sided beat down’ and every single one of these has me salivating even more at stepping through the ropes for this match. Then what has happened? What has happened since I decided to actually…wrestle? You tell me?
He holds his arms out waiting for a non-existent response.
Joey: I’ve wiped the floor with every person who has desires at top tier status in this federation, it hasn’t been a tough road, it hasn’t been a slog or anything remotely like that, it’s been EASY. It’s beautiful to me really; we had a whole new generation of fans here who have absolutely no idea about Joey Flash. People hear Joey Flash and think ‘joke’, they think of the guy who lost to Grime, the guy who got pinned in Trios, who lost to Adam Young. Yet we have another generation of fans who have been dreading this moment and praying Joey Flash would never get a shot at the World Title because of how unbelievably dominant he will be at the top of the mountain.
Which side should you believe? How about believe your own fucking eyes. There won’t be a 50/50 split on which side Joey Flash falls, there won’t be a split on who is the dominant force in the federation, trust me, I won’t leave a split on what the most one sided demolition of a World Champion by their challenger in WCF history is going to be. I think right about…
Joey looks at his watch.
Joey: Now is when both the fans and my opponent know what this is going to be, and they have that sinking feeling that they jumped straight into shark infested waters while already leaking blood.
Joey pauses for a moment.
Joey: Is there something I haven’t mentioned yet? Is there a certain someone that’s slipping my mind? Could it be that the mythical, unbeatable, amazing, unstoppable World Champion hasn’t been mentioned yet? I think it’s about time.
We’re going to get it started right, we ain’t gonna waste no time, this is going to be an absolute bodybag from start to finish. Hello Dune. We’re finally going to fight. It’s finally going to happen, we’ve waited nigh on half a year for this moment to come, but it’s here. It’s finally here.
Joey licks his lips.
Joey: This is a moment of such monumental and epic proportions we’ve reduced the WCF’s signature match into a fucking sideshow to our match. Dune vs Joey Flash, the two biggest box office and marquee names in the company, the two most talented men in the company, the two best wrestlers in the world, finally, one on one. There are no words that can aptly describe the importance of this match for the WCF, for the fans, for us as competitors and for us as men.
Joey Flash and Dune, we joined this company at the end of 2014, we were immediately paired together as part of the ‘super rookie class’. You, me, Occulo, DVS, Maelstrom…Scarecrow, of that group we are the only two left Dune, the only two. It was an inevitability that this was a match I would eventually have to deal with, so here we fucking go Dune.
He takes a deep breath and brushes his hair back.
You’ve faced so many pretenders, so many people who like to talk big games but at the end of the day lack the one thing you need to be World Champion .
Joey pounds his chest.
Joey: This is the first time you’re coming up against someone who has the exact same will and desire you have toward the title. The title is everything to you? Well it’s even more than that to me; it’s an affirmation of my fucking life. I’ll sacrifice everything I have, everything I am for the taste of the gold. The belt? Nothing but material. The thing I’m interested in is the TITLE. That shit is a statement; it’s a testament to the title of ‘best wrestler’ that my name is already engraved in. Wanna know right now why you’re going to lose your belt to me? Because the TITLE is already mine. You’re the World Champion and for the first time in your life you’re the bonafide straight up underdog, you’ve been the overwhelming favourite in every match since you’ve grabbed the belt, even against Beckman you were the favourite. In this one though? Tables are completely fuckin flipped. There isn’t a man alive who would be close to even money against Joey Flash.
You’re not fighting to defend your title; you’re fighting for an ounce of legitimacy in your otherwise pathetic and worthless title reign. Murdock? Suck a dick. Hatcher? Suck a dick. Showdown? Suck a dick. THOMAS URIEL FUCKING BATES? Suck as fat southern dick. You’re finally fighting someone of true quality one on one, this is the measure of a man and you’re not even going to hit one millimetre on the ruler. As far as this match goes I AM the champion, the WCF is my house and I’ve allowed you to kick your feet up for too long. So now I’m going to do it right, time to keep this weak ass tenant out, your rent’s overdue and you’re about to get buried.
I am the king here; do you not understand this Dune? You cannot impose your will or your skill on someone who has total and utter control of the situation. See for the past year you’ve been clawing and fighting tooth and nail to climb to the top of the mountain that I’ve been sat waiting at the summit of since you even started, I’ve been at the top without even trying. I’m the star you chase and try to align with, the moment I made my debut here I already solidified my status, a status it’s taken you more than half a year to achieve, am I lying? Then why when you’ve accomplished so much more than me, won Trilogy, won Ultimate Showdown, World Champ…am I still ten times a bigger name than you?
Joey smiles.
Joey: This place IS my house. You will stand where I say you stand, you will sit when I say sit. You will beg, you will cry and you will lose. What’s this Dune? It’s not going how you expect? You getting that knot in ya stomach? That frog in ya throat? Bitch you’re facing Joey Flash in a World Title match, hello Titanic, meet tip of Iceberg, want to be introduced to the rest?
What’s happening Dune? WCF viewing public, question for you folks peep this, how on earth can this guy be the face of the company when he so insecure he’s scared to even show his face to the public? Disfigured fuckin faggot I can imagine the hurt in your heart every time they show our images next to each other and how you curse the lord for how you’ve been genetically fucked in life compared to Joseph fuckin Flash.
‘Oh he’s so beautiful god I’d love him to fuck me’
To
*INSERT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEME*
Fuck man you’re a disgrace. Socially awkward queer, you’re the type of bitch to turn up to a party and be like ‘HEY HEY GUYS, SO UH…LET’S DO SOME BEER!!!’
Joey shakes his head.
Joey: Madness, you’re leaking money for Seth with your pathetic unmarketable bland ass right now. More shit for the WCF fans, pop quiz.
1) Name one original and interesting thing Dune has brought to being World Champion?
What? I can hear a lot of crickets but no one speaking up.
2) Name the one on one defence this guy had that has excited you before I appeared?
No?
3) Name one moment you’ve been emotionally invested or excited by a single thing this fuckin walking cure for insomnia has ever done here? The fans don’t care if you live or you die, they don’t care about your history or your family. Why? Because you are such an emotional void whose life is like a cheesy eighties Sci-Fi serial, ‘What will Dune get up to next week? Will he escape from the clone/mutant/dragon/alien, save the day and get the girl?’ Answer: We don’t fucking care. You know it’s telling when in your promos people care more about what happens to your fucking dog than what happens to you.
Sorry to break it to you Dune, you want to know what you are to these people? You are what we call a ‘transitional champion’, you’re the little period of time the fans block out of their memory in between interesting and captivating World Champions… months they’ll have completely blank memories of in WCF history.
‘ICE was World Champ, then Joey Flash, what happened in the few months between then?’
‘I dunno I guess it was vacant’
This is how boring you are Dune; this is how meaningless you are in the big picture of things. You are martyr to the church of Flash; you are a sacrificial fucking lamb to my reign as champion. ICE would have been the exact same thing but I dealt with him in a much more effective way that got him out of the way for good. Maybe once War is done you’ll disappear to wherever the fuck you came from and not bother us with your bland shit anymore. You were being humoured at first Dune, but now it’s nothing more than boredom leading into disdain, you can hear the cries from the crowd, the mutterings as you deliver the same old shit week after week, fastball every time you just can’t change up.
What was once a legend in the making is becoming a memory that’s fading, the memory of someone who had potential, once. People had high hopes for you, maybe you’d be the next one, maybe you’d be the guy to shine, to carry WCF into a new era. Sorry to disappoint, Occam’s razor shit, sometimes the most obvious answer is the correct one; it’s been Joey fuckin Flash all along.
Want to know what you are at the base of everything Dune?
Mr Monotony.
Mr Same shit different day.
Mr People only rooted for you to become Champ because of how terrible your predecessor is, now that’s out of the way people are sick to fucking death of seeing the same uncouth, uncaring, unwashed, unstylish, underdeveloped black hole of charisma sucking the air out of the arena every time his ugly fuckin face appears on screen.
You are average. You are average, boring, basic, bland and fucking formulaic. You entertained at first and brought something fresh to the game, but now we are fucking tired of you. Come on Dune, even you’re not that ignorant, that mask isn’t stopping your sense of smell right?
Even you can smell your fucking novelty wearing off.
Joey gives himself the fuckin screwface at the searing heat he just delivered to the pitiful Dune, Joey was even starting to feel a bit sorry for Dune at this point…sike, no of course he didn’t, instead he decided to ether Dune some more.
Joey: Don’t feel so bad Dune, chin up, masked metal mandibled mongoloid. Give us that winning smile!
Joey flashes his own smile.
Joey: This would have happened to anyone who had the misfortune of drawing the shortest of straws in professional wrestling history; it could have been my friend Jonny right now receiving the exact same level of soul rending bodybag material. The person who was to make their defence against me for the World Title was doomed from the damn start, don’t take it as a bad thing that you’ll fail, take it as a learning experience. In this instance, to never ever step foot in the ring with me with that belt on the line again, this is going to be a beating you’re not going to come back from. This isn’t a match people will watch and scream ‘rematch, rematch!’ it will be a match people watch and scream ‘god please stop the damn fight already’ and ask themselves ‘Will Dune ever wrestle again?’ after it.
This isn’t debateable, this isn’t a classic by any fucking accounts, this is one man so much better than any of his peers dominating the person who the company and the public deem closest to his level. That’s all this is. Your sense of pride won’t allow that though will it Dune? I know exactly what type of person you are. You’ll come with your ego puffed and your pride welling up in ya bird chest and read from Dune Script v5 the same old repetitive shit.
What’s it going to be this time Dune hmm? Let me help you out a little bit, let me help you with your script shall I?
- I lost to Grime
- I got pinned in Trios
- I formed Imperium
- I lost to Adam Young
- I’ve got a tough family life…
- …but you’ve got it tougher.
- I’ve had a rough history…
- …but you’ve had it rougher.
- I’ve had a great first year in WCF…
- …but you’ve done it better.
- How I’ve wallowed in the mid card for so long, how I’ve won no major titles, how I’ve attacked Occulo, how I’ve attacked Howie, how I’ve attacked Freeman and this is going to be an aptly named show about ‘War’.
You’ll say some shit about fire, you’ll talk about how you’ll burn my life down around me and you’ll act so defiant and strong.
Joey claps.
Joey: It’s beautiful. I should pitch that shit to Hollywood. What? Make a move Dune. Prove me wrong. What do you have for me? You fucking bland unoriginal joke. Your style is outdated and pathetic, you’re one of the most simple, easy to figure out wrestlers on the roster and yet no one seems to have the same eyes for it as I do. People think you’re some deep thinker who plans his matches out so meticulously, studies the tape, studies the opponent and trains correctly…I mean shit we’ve all seen your 80’s training montages with Freeman right? Go you. That type of preparation might serve you well against 99.9% of this federation where you can scrape by on skill alone but you’re in the rare air only the pair of us can breathe in, I’m steady and calm whereas you’re struggling for every gulp of oxygen. Your analytical brain is impressive for sure, you target your opponent where they’re most weak and by god man you fucking destroy it, it’s like you’re a computer playing chess against chimps for the most part in this federation.
This time a fucking Grandmaster is stepping to you, I’ll beat Deep Blue in only three moves.
This match isn’t just going to show why I’m the most transcendent athlete in the business, but why a mind like mine has long been feared here. Every single domino is falling into place heading into the match, I’m leading you right into my web and yet you have absolutely no idea what’s going on around you. You’re my greatest creation Dune, I’m writing this whole story and you’re my protagonist, this is your tale of success and failure and ultimately getting killed in the centre of the ring by Joey fucking Flash, I’ve dug a grave complete with headstone and all, shit it’s your story Dune, its only right I put you in the plot.
Joey smiles.
Joey: We got bodybags on deck? Yep. I get it Dune, you’re feeling a little deflated, a little sad, those thoughts are starting already those thoughts of ‘Maybe I’m in over my head after all’, ‘Maybe Joey Flash IS as good as he says he is’, ‘Maybe I’m not as good as I thought…’ I guess right about now you’re starting to understand what Beckman felt at the start of the week when he realised the mountain he had to climb to beat you huh?
Let it sink in, let it sink in really deep. I love the fear, I love the doubts , I want nothing more than to completely and utterly destroy you before we even step through the ropes cos inside? Well you can ask your ‘brothers’ Howard and Occulo what happens there.
Shit that reminds me! It’s been a whole Joey Flash promo and we haven’t gotten personal yet? What is the world coming to? Well Dune let me put it in a way you’ll understand, you always do talk about fire and heat like you’re a fuckin propane salesman or something. Hank Hill ass bastard, lemme lay it out for you this way. This time? Me rubbing sticks and blowing embers, but what’s coming next? Flamethrowers and fucking napalm, that unease and doubt that’s creeping in is going to consume you by the time I’m done.
You’re already one foot in the grave and by god you’re going to get absolutely fucking buried. Bodybags on deck.
The screen cuts to black.
