Post by Joey Flash on Sept 10, 2015 9:09:36 GMT -5
Dance with The Devil
The man called Jack shimmered in the dying light of the wasteland as he led Flash through the desert. Joey had followed him without so much as a question for the past ten minutes, it took until now for your number one contender to regain his wits and shake the throbbing pain from his thoughts. The heat it seemed here in the Mojave was truly overwhelming after all. Joey fixed his gaze on the man’s back, the out of place suit, the unscuffed shoes, it was at this point he began to wonder how much of this was mirage and how much of it was reality.
Jack: You have questions.
Joey stopped and thought for a moment.
Jack: Don’t dawdle, walk and talk.
Joey: I asked before, who the fuck are you?
Jack waved his hand dismissively in the air and continued to almost glide across the sand.
Jack: An odd question, I gave you that answer already.
Joey: Cut the shit, seriously. Are you with Dune?
Jack stopped and span a quick one eighty, a thick plastic grin affixed to his face.
Jack: Whatever made you think that?
Joey: I dunno…
Jack: You do know, go on.
Joey: Because I appear in the same fuckin place of the desert I was when that guy found me last time and now you appear out nowhere and I’m supposed to believe, what, it’s just a coincidence?
Jack: No. I like to think of it as…fate.
Jack turned and continued walking, Joey followed.
Jack: What if I told you that I could help you destroy the man known as Dune? What if I told you I could help you take everything that he is away from him, strip him of his humanity and make him into a broken husk of a man, does that sound nice?
Joey: No.
Jack: No? Oh Joseph Malignaggi, you lie, you either lie…
He turns back round, this time with the vilest of scowls across his face, it sent a cold shudder through Joey’s body even on this most sweltering of days.
Jack: …or you’re not what I thought you were after all.
Flash furrowed his brow, as strange as this man was, he was losing patience, he was losing patience very fucking quickly.
Joey: I think you need to realise something here ‘Jack’.
Flash stepped toward him.
Joey: You are not in control here, by any stretch of the imagination, I am letting you lead this dance we’re taking but by no means am I ever going to be spoken to like that again.
The two men were face to face.
Joey: Do you understand, Jack?
The scowl changed back to the plastic grin, Jack seemed pleased with this.
Jack: Absolutely, perhaps I was mistaken.
They continued in silence for another mile of heavy trekking before the horizon began to darken and their shadows became less man and more deformed monster in their traverse of the never ending sea of sand. Jack spoke again in a hushed tone.
Jack: I can give you everything you ever wished for Malignaggi.
Joey stopped once more, as surreal as this already was, it was getting hell of a lot worse.
Joey: Stop this fucking shit, who are you, seriously, is Dune gonna come out of the shadows and show himself now? Am I gonna have to fight more of these desert dwelling goons? What’s the fuckin deal here?
Jack: Not at all, all you have to do is…
The figure that was Jack seemed to fade into the darkness, more like he swallowed the darkness into his very person before disappearing entirely, only his voice remained, it grew louder and more powerful with each word.
Jack: Let me in.
This time there was no stopping the process, in one sweeping instant Joey Flash felt himself engulfed by that very same cold infinite darkness.
The Killer and The Girl
It’s strange, the best things in life come at points where you think there is no salvation. When you are dying of thirst and the first life giving droplets of water fall onto your tongue, when the doctors swore you would never walk again and you take that first unaided step by yourself while struggling alone in the gym at four A.M, for Joey Flash? It had seemed like an eternity of nothingness and the most amazing thing he could imagine was to finally be blinded by the light again. His eyes flickered open and he blinked away the blinding haze of light. The first thing his eyes focused on was the throbbing image of three bright X’s circling round and round. Where he was and the position he was in quickly became clear as he blinked away the grogginess and the three X’s turned into two. A voice made the reality of his situation even clearer.
Pinky: You’re awake.
Flash felt a pang of pain jolt through his head and he recoiled at the words. He struggled up to his haunches and found himself looking up at a woman who seemed to have grown in stature the last time Joey saw her, if Dune was the King out here, this woman looked every bit a Queen.
Joey: Y-yeah.
He tried to get to his feet but staggered forward and fell into the corner of the bar.
Pinky: Hey look ou-
Joey: I’m fine.
He wasn’t. He turned to look at her.
Joey: Look I’m not-
Pinky: Shut up, just shut up.
Joey propped himself up on the bar and did just that.
Pinky: Do you know what you’ve done? You, you…I could fucking kill you.
Joey held his hands up and smiled a sad smile.
Joey: I probably deserve it. Give it to me.
Pinky: You have ruined him; he was such a kind man, such a tender man. Now you know what he talks about we’re alone?
Joey: I don’t want to hear it.
Pinky: I don’t care; you’re going to hear it. Maybe then you’ll understand what you’ve done to him, done to us, done to…
Her eyes dart to her stomach, Joey’s eyes widen.
Joey: Whoa whoa, hold up-
Pinky: LISTEN! Since I’ve known him he’s been targeted, it’s been water off a ducks back, it’s been childsplay, he has conquered, he has crushed and he has protected everything, this time though…he has someone he can’t get rid of as easily as the rest, you’re nothing like others he says. I don’t understand. Looking at you face to face now I can see how pathetic you are, you’re barely even, barely even a man! You dare come here again? What is your thought process right now?
Reduce it all to ash.
Joey: Look Pinky, I respect-
Pinky: You respect nothing!
Reduce it all to ash.
Pinky: You’ve done nothing but torture and torment us for months, why don’t you just leave us alone, what do you want, is it really worth it? Is that belt worth this? If so, just take it and leave us alone.
Reduce it all to ash.
Joey: No, that’s not what I want-
Let me in…and reduce it all to ash.
Joey felt the darkness overcome him again, the Double X club would burn this night.
The Importance of a Name (Pre-Recorded Vlog)
We open to Joey Flash pulling a small handheld camera closer to his face, both resolution and zoom search for a fix for a moment before sharping on his chiseled features. The wind is picking up in the background and Joey has to retreat hastily to the nearest rock formation for a bit of shelter. He smiles at the camera.
Joey: This might be the first, and last one of these fucking things I ever record. Maybe Dune will show up and this’ll be a viral hit for everyone involved, who the fuck knows? Hopefully this manages to reach WCF audiences before anything bad happens like a fuckin camel attacks me and breaks my camera or some shit. Do they have camels in every desert?
He muses for a moment.
Joey: Who cares? Anyway, I’m here to promote my upcoming match against some guy called Spencer Adams, have I faced this no mark bottom feeder before?
He muses again.
Joey: Oh yeah, one of the many random easy wins I’ve had in my time, ho fucking hum at this match. Want to know how demotivate someone? Throw the name ‘Spencer Adams’ across from them on the card, it pretty much by the inclusion of this guy dooms the match to irrelevance and nausea infused boredom. Talk about being ethered at birth, his mother already slid that fuckin newborn into a mini bodybag when she named him ‘Spencer’, then he killed himself by using his real name rather than take a cool stage name. Motherfucker my real name is Joseph Malignaggi, that shit ain’t marketable in the fuckin least. It’s simple…
We cut to another scene.
Joey Flash and Jonny Fly are sat side by side behind a small table both immaculately dressed. They sit in a small room with only the table and a small screen opposite them as a cheap backdrop, film cameras and technicians fill the room. The two men share a look as a man walks toward the screen.
Fly: State your name.
Man: Jamie Foxx.
Joey leans toward Fly.
Joey: It’s fucking Jamie Foxx!!
The Ray superstar smiles and begins to speak.
Jamie Foxx: It is with great hope that I join your illustrious club today.
Fly: Indeed, perhaps you are worthy.
Out of nowhere a fucking narrator begins talking over the top of them.
Narrator: Here are the worldwide auditions for the select ‘JF Club of Illustrious Gentlemen’. It is said anyone who takes to the world of professional sport or entertainment and is luckily imbued with the initials J.F. they instantly become part of a select secret new world order that contains the world’s elite. In truth, this is just an ego stroking day for Joey Flash and Jonny Fly, they paid me to narrate this, that isn’t even Jamie Foxx, they gave some homeless black guy ten bucks and told him to come on and film this. Why am I doing this? You know I have a doctorate in Marine Biology and I’m reduced to this? Guys, word of advise, never get married. Even better, don’t get divorced.
Jamie Foxx: I see your talent, your skill and your all c-c-
Fly: Conquering.
Jamie Foxx: Conquering.
Joey leans into Fly once more.
Joey: This fucking guy hasn’t even learned his lines.
Fly: To be honest, he looks blind in one eye and appears to be currently suffering from a heroin comedown, let’s ride it out. The powers of editing baby.
Jamie Foxx: Conquering dominance in professional wrestling. I feel that I should automatically be part of the group because of my similar success in my chosen field. Thank you.
Joey speaks to Jamie Foxx.
Joey: So, Mr Foxx. I am happy you came to us today; the importance of a name is paramount in our respective industries. Do you know that statistically people with the initials ‘J.F’ and having a punch two syllable Christian name and a powerful evocative strong single syllable surname makes for the best in the world. You sir, already fit all the criteria, and it seems from your past successes that you well and truly deserve your spot in the pantheon of the JF elite. It’s with great honour we welcome you, sir, to our elite club.
Joey Flash
Jonny Fly
Jamie Foxx
Fly: It’s truly beautiful. You know if JFK was just ‘JF’ he probably would have easily dodged the bullet and then savagely thrashed the man who had the audacity to shoot at him, instead he had his brains all over the back seat…ironically I’m going to be getting brain in the back seat of my limo tonight. Ho hum.
Joey: Mr Foxx, you may join us at the table…
They look as the homeless dishevelled H addict ambles toward them.
Fly: Maybe go join us in that corner…no not that one, the one in the next room. In the next fucking building. Get the fuck out you bum!
The homeless Foxx barely understands speech at this moment and simply collapses in the middle of the floor.
Fly: Uhhh-
Joey: NEXT!
The next man enters; well his chin enters the room before he does. The man strides confidently up to the centre of the room. His gurning ugly face the very visage that could turn any woman lesbian, he begins to speak.
Ugly Man: My name is Jimmy Flow and I-
Joey: Hold up, let me stop you right there. We’ve already had you removed from the building like five times; you’ve been Jessie Fish, Jody Fatz and Jayson Fag, now Jimmy Flow? When will you fucking learn that changing your name isn’t going to fool us anymore huh?
Fly: Did he really think wearing different hats each time would help, Jesus Christ, take that fucking sombrero off, people might think we’re letting Mexicans in at this rate, you’re a bad look for all involved here, you’re only letting yourself down.
The ugly man takes his sombrero off and slouches unathletically toward the exit.
Joey: One more thing…
The two men speak in unison.
Joey/Fly: Just fuck off Grime.
Back to the desert
Joey: It’s that fucking simple Spencer; see the name ‘Spencer Adams’ alone already serves up mediocrity. You can never be more than the sum of your name motherfucker, BRANDING HOW DOES IT WORK? You think I’d have sold millions of dollars worth of merch if I had my borderline unprounceable surname on the back of fuckin shirts? No, of course not, lighting/light insignia and flash related puns sell for fuckin days. I’m Joey Flash, and my name is better than you.
Let’s get started…
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Now:
In my last four matches I’ve killed Teo Del Sol, John Gable, Zombie McMorris and Gemini Battle, now I have to take the massive step down to face Spencer fucking Adams? What am I doing with my life? Talk about throwing me a nice tune up fight before the big one with Dune, talk about giving me virtually a week off with this match. It’s nice to be able to completely rest on my laurels this week given my opponent is so absolutely dogshit that I am flagrantly trying and trying to underestimate you, but sometimes life is stranger than fiction because as low as I try place you in my mind it seems you place yourself even lower than your own fucking self in the ring week in and week out.
Maybe I can relax and read a book or something while I’m fighting you, it at least gives me a bit more free time to enjoy myself. I’m not even training for this match, look at me I’m in the middle of a fucking desert, where is there a wrestling gym in the middle of a desert? Fuck it, what I’m getting at is Spencer, I don’t even have to take you slightly seriously for me to ether you, you’re a walking talking bonafide bodybag just waiting to be zipped up. This match is the highlight of your career so far, let’s make no bones about it; this is the one right here. You get the greatest pound for pound wrestler in the company, the best in the business, the crème de la crème right here in a one on one contest. Are you gonna reach out and take this opportunity, are you going to be the one to put an end to Joey Flash before Dune even gets his hands on me hmm? Or are you going to be true to form crumble and choke in the same way you have done with every single big match in your career, forever second best, forever pathetic, forever a loser, forever alone. Spencer Adams, this is your life.
You said it yourself, it was your single biggest match of your career to date, you had a one on one with your single greatest foe for the title you have strived for and finally broke through to become Champion of the People…then you got killed by said biggest foe and lost your title. End promo.
The camera switches off…
…then on again.
Joey: It’s not over…well your career will be after this Sunday, but this promo is ya fuckin eulogy you whelp. How did that feel? Kyle Kemp sent you back to minors so badly you’re making Gary Glitter jealous. I think Bill Cosby will be asking for ‘The Spencer Adams’ treatment next time he hits the bar. It’s pitiful, you’ve cornered the market on hapless underdog, what kind of self-respecting man does that? Don’t you want to better yourself? Don’t you want to go out there and conquer, test your skill and will against others? But no, you’re that spastic child who gets given the award for ‘Tried Hardest’ in gym when the motherfucker was so pathetic he had to WALK the 100m. Want to know why you are where you are in both the WCF and in life? You have absolutely no drive; you’re stuck in your own little rut and are comfortable and happy there. No progression, you’re the only guy I know with a fake ID that says he’s younger. You’re the worst type of man, what kind of role model are you for the young fans here? ‘Oh look at this guy, he’s rubbish but he’s happy with it’. Well I guess we always need McDonalds workers, congratulations Spencer, your fans are the next generation of blithering idiots serving the successful, rich and likely handsome Joey Flash fans…sike, of course my fans aren’t eating at McDonalds, what do you take us for, Thomas Bates fans?
You sicken me Spencer; you’ve earned absolutely nothing in this business. Why do you deserve this match? Why do you deserve the prestige of getting beaten by me? What have you done to get this shining light on the mud pile of your career? You have a losing record, let’s rewind, let’s repeat, you have a losing record. Not on that 1-2 shit, not on that 2-3 shit, you’ve been in the WCF for over four months and you have a losing record. That does not equate to a match against Joey Flash, you gnat, this equates to a match with the likes of Ultimate Destroyer or perhaps Corey Black. That’s your level. You’re going to see why right now there is a shadow cast so totally over the entirety of the federation, there are two men fighting for that crown and there are the rest of the peasants scrambling for relevance. You’re going to see what happens when the King steps onto the battlefield and wields Excalibur among these peasants and unskilled masses, the gulf in class is staggering and maybe you haven’t grasped it yet, but ten seconds into our match when you can barely so much as touch me and I’m lighting you up the realisation will hit you just like it hits everyone else.
When I step off my throne and into this world it’s like an Asgardian dropping to Earth, the biggest and best you have can do absolutely nothing to me, my last month has been a murderers row of killers in your world, each one of them are better than you Spencer, each one of them would routinely body you and what happened?
Joey smiles.
Joey: I barely so much as broke a sweat. I’m absolutely fucking imperious. This time I’ve caught a guppy, should I toss him back? Nah fuck you Spencer, I’m going to fucking gut you Spencer. It’s time for The Antidote to get that cancer treatment, sadly for you; you can’t cure being a shit wrestler.
The man of the people, the people’s champ! Well, look where that got you, disappointed with his shitness as a wrestler he decided to turn his hand to politics, it worked for ‘The Body’ so maybe it’ll work for you too huh? Nope, they turned on you your first fuckin defence, turns out they just hated Richards instead of actually liking you. Your campaigning and glad-handing made me sick, here’s a hint lil partner, you want to gain the following of fans you feel you deserve?
Prove your skill in the middle of the ring. Simple. People tune in to cheer Dune because he gives them someone to relate to and rally behind, his skill has made them follow him and cheer for him…people tune in to see if maybe this is the week, maybe just maybe I’ll lose. Same reason people will buy the Mayweather fight this weekend, cos fuck, it’s nice to dream isn’t it? It’s all fun and games outside of the ring isn’t it Spencer, you try to rally support across the internet and make people believe that you really can do it, maybe he IS actually good, so they buy the hype and sit down to watch you and wow you serve them a straight up shit sandwich. Cut the bullshit and focus on what’s going on in the ring, that’s what they care about. You sound like a fuckin badass when on the internet but at the end of the day it’s just bullshit and fake, your skill doesn’t match your words. But boy I’ll give you some credit; you’ve got balls of steel…
Pause for effect.
Joey: …at the computer table like a newton’s cradle.
Joey shakes his long black locks before whipping them back over his head and gives a smile.
Joey: How were you raised? What made you this way Spencer? I don’t understand? If I were your father I’d give you some simple advice.
“Son, here are the ways to become a successful happy person in life:
- Strive to improve each day
- Be courteous and kind to everyone you meet
- Do unto others as they do unto you
- Stop being such a pathetic prissy little cunt, man up for once, take one step out of that self-imposed pre-pubescence and walk in the boots of a man. You get nowhere in life by being given it, you have to fucking TAKE IT. You will get nowhere losing to the likes of Kyle Kemp, you challenging Joey Flash? It’s a fucking joke, first you need to challenge your own insecurities and decide if this is really what you want in life? Are you happy with mediocrity? Are you happy being ‘just another guy?’ you fucking drone. What have I raised here? If I knew then what I know now I’d be getting that coat hanger out in pregnancy and giving you the life you fucking deserve you waste of spunk."
Hey Betty, you fat fucking ugly mess of a woman, THAT is how you talk to your son.
Joey flashes that grin.
Joey: I’d say that it hurts me to snuff out a bright talent at this stage of his career, but given you are neither bright nor a talent I’m going to take great pleasure in ending your hopes and dreams of contention and self-worth. Since your debut I’ve seen your enthusiasm and your passion, but there is absolutely nothing tangible to back it up, you barely win matches, you fail in every big opportunity you ever get to finally make a name for yourself and emerge from the shadow that joining the DRG put you in. We’re not even going to speak on that because in all honesty it speaks for itself. No Spencer, they didn’t hold you back and they didn’t stop you from progressing in the WCF, what stopped that is the same damn thing that’s stopping you now, simply put you are not a good wrestler. You can fight under any name and banner you like but the facts of this match will still remain. Joey Flash is the greatest wrestler in the world, and you are just another guy.
Let’s see what this year’s greatest loser has to bring for me? Inadequacy and inconsequential bullshit out of the ring and even worse in it, the way you’re already jumping in the grave you must like the dirt cos this is light work for me. Enjoy this match Spencer Adams, enjoy your name getting mentioned in the same sentence as mine, enjoy the people cheering for you to slay the dragon, and enjoy their shocked silence when the dragon rips you to shreds. This is the only time I ever want to share a ring with someone as shockingly bad as you again and you’re going to regret with every fibre of your being the fact you got booked in this match, this isn’t an opportunity for betterment it’s a fucking death sentence, the last thing you’re gonna see is that NY over the navy blue as I stare down like ‘Look what you made me do.’
The camera cuts.
My Apology
For this instant, for this one moment Joey Flash didn’t waver. This light would not be put out so easily.
‘I am Joey Flash’
He said to himself as the throbbing pain was being forced from his mind. He heard Jack’s voice in the back of his head.
Jack: So you choose death. This is an error that will cost you everything. I could have given you the world Joseph.
Joey had no idea what this guy was, how he’d found him in the middle of nowhere, how he knew Joey’s name, knew Dune, knew to lead him here…left him here. What was going on? Joey’s mind was running a mile a minute with a billion different thoughts, worries, possibilities and mostly, pain. However the one thought that overwhelmed everything as he felt the presence of Jack disappear completely was simple.
‘I am nobodies fucking pawn’
His eyes opened and he saw the door to the Double X club open, it swung back and forth for a moment before Joey noticed what had entered. A Rottweiler. This was Dune’s dog, he remembered.
Pinky: Oh!
She approached the dog, a smile on her face and bent down to give it a hug. Joey watched the dog as she approached, its tail wasn’t wagging, it didn’t seem excited, it didn’t seem…it didn’t seem much like a dog at all. Joey reached to grab Pinky and pulled her back just before an earth explosion rocked the doorway of the Double X club. His ears rang and his arm was throbbing with pain as he staggered to his feet amongst what was left of the front of the club, rubble. The dog had completely disappeared, it hadn’t been killed, hurt or scared off. It simply wasn’t there. Flash gritted his teeth as he managed to find Pinky also staggering up a few feet away from him. The pair of them looked through the rising smoke of the explosion and could see several figures stood in front of two large dune buggies, as the smoke cleared they could make out six masked figures, the one at the front was holding what Joey assumed was the cause of this destruction, a rocket launcher.
The most haunting thing for Joey, was that sat next to the man with the rocket launcher was the same Rottweiler from before, it seemed to be almost smiling at the chaos and destruction.
‘So you choose Death.’
Joey gritted his teeth again and grabbed Pinky.
Joey: Are you okay?
Pinky was delirious.
Pinky: I-I-
Joey: Are there any weapons here?
He slapped her. This wasn’t time for hesitancy.
Joey: WEAPONS, WHERE?!
She pointed toward the remnants of the bar, Joey hoisted her onto a shoulder and sprinted behind the bar where he was met with the remnants of a hundred smashed glasses and bottles, quickly sitting on the ground he felt the pain of the glass shards, but that pain would be nothing compared to what was going to happen to them here. He spotted the weapon Pinky was talking about and his heart sank. A shotgun. A single shotgun against military grade weaponry. They were outnumbered and truly outgunned.
He laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, Pinky looked at him in horror…until her lips started to curl upward as well and she laughed along with him.
Joey: I’m sorry.
Pinky: For blowing up my wall?
Joey: For everything. I don’t hate your man, I don’t…look, just tell him I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done. Occulo, Howard, Freeman…I mean fuck, I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to tell him in person.
Joey grabbed the shotgun, two straps of ammo and draped them over himself. He checked the chambers were full and cocked the gun.
Pinky: What are you doing?
Joey: Call this…my apology.
He grabbed Pinky and kissed her on the forehead, and glanced at her stomach.
Joey: Don’t suppose he’d let you name it Joseph huh?
Pinky was crying. She gave a sniffling laugh.
Pinky: Don’t-
Before she could even respond Joey had already left her, he had hopped over the bar and the thumping powerful footsteps akin to those of a man ascending the gallows rumbled across the wooden floor of the club. She gave a glance over the bar to see the man called Joey Flash exit the club and face their would be killers. The way he stepped through the smoke, wind whipping around him and making his hair dance in the breeze he looked every bit the action hero. She watched as the man she had hated from afar for so many months stepped forward to protect her and her unborn child. She had seen Dune escape insurmountable odds time and time again, when with him even when she was at her most scared he always made her calm and feel like everything would be okay…meeting Joey Flash for real, seeing the look in his eyes, the warmth in his heart. She had that exact same feeling now.
The man called Jack shimmered in the dying light of the wasteland as he led Flash through the desert. Joey had followed him without so much as a question for the past ten minutes, it took until now for your number one contender to regain his wits and shake the throbbing pain from his thoughts. The heat it seemed here in the Mojave was truly overwhelming after all. Joey fixed his gaze on the man’s back, the out of place suit, the unscuffed shoes, it was at this point he began to wonder how much of this was mirage and how much of it was reality.
Jack: You have questions.
Joey stopped and thought for a moment.
Jack: Don’t dawdle, walk and talk.
Joey: I asked before, who the fuck are you?
Jack waved his hand dismissively in the air and continued to almost glide across the sand.
Jack: An odd question, I gave you that answer already.
Joey: Cut the shit, seriously. Are you with Dune?
Jack stopped and span a quick one eighty, a thick plastic grin affixed to his face.
Jack: Whatever made you think that?
Joey: I dunno…
Jack: You do know, go on.
Joey: Because I appear in the same fuckin place of the desert I was when that guy found me last time and now you appear out nowhere and I’m supposed to believe, what, it’s just a coincidence?
Jack: No. I like to think of it as…fate.
Jack turned and continued walking, Joey followed.
Jack: What if I told you that I could help you destroy the man known as Dune? What if I told you I could help you take everything that he is away from him, strip him of his humanity and make him into a broken husk of a man, does that sound nice?
Joey: No.
Jack: No? Oh Joseph Malignaggi, you lie, you either lie…
He turns back round, this time with the vilest of scowls across his face, it sent a cold shudder through Joey’s body even on this most sweltering of days.
Jack: …or you’re not what I thought you were after all.
Flash furrowed his brow, as strange as this man was, he was losing patience, he was losing patience very fucking quickly.
Joey: I think you need to realise something here ‘Jack’.
Flash stepped toward him.
Joey: You are not in control here, by any stretch of the imagination, I am letting you lead this dance we’re taking but by no means am I ever going to be spoken to like that again.
The two men were face to face.
Joey: Do you understand, Jack?
The scowl changed back to the plastic grin, Jack seemed pleased with this.
Jack: Absolutely, perhaps I was mistaken.
They continued in silence for another mile of heavy trekking before the horizon began to darken and their shadows became less man and more deformed monster in their traverse of the never ending sea of sand. Jack spoke again in a hushed tone.
Jack: I can give you everything you ever wished for Malignaggi.
Joey stopped once more, as surreal as this already was, it was getting hell of a lot worse.
Joey: Stop this fucking shit, who are you, seriously, is Dune gonna come out of the shadows and show himself now? Am I gonna have to fight more of these desert dwelling goons? What’s the fuckin deal here?
Jack: Not at all, all you have to do is…
The figure that was Jack seemed to fade into the darkness, more like he swallowed the darkness into his very person before disappearing entirely, only his voice remained, it grew louder and more powerful with each word.
Jack: Let me in.
This time there was no stopping the process, in one sweeping instant Joey Flash felt himself engulfed by that very same cold infinite darkness.
The Killer and The Girl
It’s strange, the best things in life come at points where you think there is no salvation. When you are dying of thirst and the first life giving droplets of water fall onto your tongue, when the doctors swore you would never walk again and you take that first unaided step by yourself while struggling alone in the gym at four A.M, for Joey Flash? It had seemed like an eternity of nothingness and the most amazing thing he could imagine was to finally be blinded by the light again. His eyes flickered open and he blinked away the blinding haze of light. The first thing his eyes focused on was the throbbing image of three bright X’s circling round and round. Where he was and the position he was in quickly became clear as he blinked away the grogginess and the three X’s turned into two. A voice made the reality of his situation even clearer.
Pinky: You’re awake.
Flash felt a pang of pain jolt through his head and he recoiled at the words. He struggled up to his haunches and found himself looking up at a woman who seemed to have grown in stature the last time Joey saw her, if Dune was the King out here, this woman looked every bit a Queen.
Joey: Y-yeah.
He tried to get to his feet but staggered forward and fell into the corner of the bar.
Pinky: Hey look ou-
Joey: I’m fine.
He wasn’t. He turned to look at her.
Joey: Look I’m not-
Pinky: Shut up, just shut up.
Joey propped himself up on the bar and did just that.
Pinky: Do you know what you’ve done? You, you…I could fucking kill you.
Joey held his hands up and smiled a sad smile.
Joey: I probably deserve it. Give it to me.
Pinky: You have ruined him; he was such a kind man, such a tender man. Now you know what he talks about we’re alone?
Joey: I don’t want to hear it.
Pinky: I don’t care; you’re going to hear it. Maybe then you’ll understand what you’ve done to him, done to us, done to…
Her eyes dart to her stomach, Joey’s eyes widen.
Joey: Whoa whoa, hold up-
Pinky: LISTEN! Since I’ve known him he’s been targeted, it’s been water off a ducks back, it’s been childsplay, he has conquered, he has crushed and he has protected everything, this time though…he has someone he can’t get rid of as easily as the rest, you’re nothing like others he says. I don’t understand. Looking at you face to face now I can see how pathetic you are, you’re barely even, barely even a man! You dare come here again? What is your thought process right now?
Reduce it all to ash.
Joey: Look Pinky, I respect-
Pinky: You respect nothing!
Reduce it all to ash.
Pinky: You’ve done nothing but torture and torment us for months, why don’t you just leave us alone, what do you want, is it really worth it? Is that belt worth this? If so, just take it and leave us alone.
Reduce it all to ash.
Joey: No, that’s not what I want-
Let me in…and reduce it all to ash.
Joey felt the darkness overcome him again, the Double X club would burn this night.
The Importance of a Name (Pre-Recorded Vlog)
We open to Joey Flash pulling a small handheld camera closer to his face, both resolution and zoom search for a fix for a moment before sharping on his chiseled features. The wind is picking up in the background and Joey has to retreat hastily to the nearest rock formation for a bit of shelter. He smiles at the camera.
Joey: This might be the first, and last one of these fucking things I ever record. Maybe Dune will show up and this’ll be a viral hit for everyone involved, who the fuck knows? Hopefully this manages to reach WCF audiences before anything bad happens like a fuckin camel attacks me and breaks my camera or some shit. Do they have camels in every desert?
He muses for a moment.
Joey: Who cares? Anyway, I’m here to promote my upcoming match against some guy called Spencer Adams, have I faced this no mark bottom feeder before?
He muses again.
Joey: Oh yeah, one of the many random easy wins I’ve had in my time, ho fucking hum at this match. Want to know how demotivate someone? Throw the name ‘Spencer Adams’ across from them on the card, it pretty much by the inclusion of this guy dooms the match to irrelevance and nausea infused boredom. Talk about being ethered at birth, his mother already slid that fuckin newborn into a mini bodybag when she named him ‘Spencer’, then he killed himself by using his real name rather than take a cool stage name. Motherfucker my real name is Joseph Malignaggi, that shit ain’t marketable in the fuckin least. It’s simple…
We cut to another scene.
Joey Flash and Jonny Fly are sat side by side behind a small table both immaculately dressed. They sit in a small room with only the table and a small screen opposite them as a cheap backdrop, film cameras and technicians fill the room. The two men share a look as a man walks toward the screen.
Fly: State your name.
Man: Jamie Foxx.
Joey leans toward Fly.
Joey: It’s fucking Jamie Foxx!!
The Ray superstar smiles and begins to speak.
Jamie Foxx: It is with great hope that I join your illustrious club today.
Fly: Indeed, perhaps you are worthy.
Out of nowhere a fucking narrator begins talking over the top of them.
Narrator: Here are the worldwide auditions for the select ‘JF Club of Illustrious Gentlemen’. It is said anyone who takes to the world of professional sport or entertainment and is luckily imbued with the initials J.F. they instantly become part of a select secret new world order that contains the world’s elite. In truth, this is just an ego stroking day for Joey Flash and Jonny Fly, they paid me to narrate this, that isn’t even Jamie Foxx, they gave some homeless black guy ten bucks and told him to come on and film this. Why am I doing this? You know I have a doctorate in Marine Biology and I’m reduced to this? Guys, word of advise, never get married. Even better, don’t get divorced.
Jamie Foxx: I see your talent, your skill and your all c-c-
Fly: Conquering.
Jamie Foxx: Conquering.
Joey leans into Fly once more.
Joey: This fucking guy hasn’t even learned his lines.
Fly: To be honest, he looks blind in one eye and appears to be currently suffering from a heroin comedown, let’s ride it out. The powers of editing baby.
Jamie Foxx: Conquering dominance in professional wrestling. I feel that I should automatically be part of the group because of my similar success in my chosen field. Thank you.
Joey speaks to Jamie Foxx.
Joey: So, Mr Foxx. I am happy you came to us today; the importance of a name is paramount in our respective industries. Do you know that statistically people with the initials ‘J.F’ and having a punch two syllable Christian name and a powerful evocative strong single syllable surname makes for the best in the world. You sir, already fit all the criteria, and it seems from your past successes that you well and truly deserve your spot in the pantheon of the JF elite. It’s with great honour we welcome you, sir, to our elite club.
Joey Flash
Jonny Fly
Jamie Foxx
Fly: It’s truly beautiful. You know if JFK was just ‘JF’ he probably would have easily dodged the bullet and then savagely thrashed the man who had the audacity to shoot at him, instead he had his brains all over the back seat…ironically I’m going to be getting brain in the back seat of my limo tonight. Ho hum.
Joey: Mr Foxx, you may join us at the table…
They look as the homeless dishevelled H addict ambles toward them.
Fly: Maybe go join us in that corner…no not that one, the one in the next room. In the next fucking building. Get the fuck out you bum!
The homeless Foxx barely understands speech at this moment and simply collapses in the middle of the floor.
Fly: Uhhh-
Joey: NEXT!
The next man enters; well his chin enters the room before he does. The man strides confidently up to the centre of the room. His gurning ugly face the very visage that could turn any woman lesbian, he begins to speak.
Ugly Man: My name is Jimmy Flow and I-
Joey: Hold up, let me stop you right there. We’ve already had you removed from the building like five times; you’ve been Jessie Fish, Jody Fatz and Jayson Fag, now Jimmy Flow? When will you fucking learn that changing your name isn’t going to fool us anymore huh?
Fly: Did he really think wearing different hats each time would help, Jesus Christ, take that fucking sombrero off, people might think we’re letting Mexicans in at this rate, you’re a bad look for all involved here, you’re only letting yourself down.
The ugly man takes his sombrero off and slouches unathletically toward the exit.
Joey: One more thing…
The two men speak in unison.
Joey/Fly: Just fuck off Grime.
Back to the desert
Joey: It’s that fucking simple Spencer; see the name ‘Spencer Adams’ alone already serves up mediocrity. You can never be more than the sum of your name motherfucker, BRANDING HOW DOES IT WORK? You think I’d have sold millions of dollars worth of merch if I had my borderline unprounceable surname on the back of fuckin shirts? No, of course not, lighting/light insignia and flash related puns sell for fuckin days. I’m Joey Flash, and my name is better than you.
Let’s get started…
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Now:
In my last four matches I’ve killed Teo Del Sol, John Gable, Zombie McMorris and Gemini Battle, now I have to take the massive step down to face Spencer fucking Adams? What am I doing with my life? Talk about throwing me a nice tune up fight before the big one with Dune, talk about giving me virtually a week off with this match. It’s nice to be able to completely rest on my laurels this week given my opponent is so absolutely dogshit that I am flagrantly trying and trying to underestimate you, but sometimes life is stranger than fiction because as low as I try place you in my mind it seems you place yourself even lower than your own fucking self in the ring week in and week out.
Maybe I can relax and read a book or something while I’m fighting you, it at least gives me a bit more free time to enjoy myself. I’m not even training for this match, look at me I’m in the middle of a fucking desert, where is there a wrestling gym in the middle of a desert? Fuck it, what I’m getting at is Spencer, I don’t even have to take you slightly seriously for me to ether you, you’re a walking talking bonafide bodybag just waiting to be zipped up. This match is the highlight of your career so far, let’s make no bones about it; this is the one right here. You get the greatest pound for pound wrestler in the company, the best in the business, the crème de la crème right here in a one on one contest. Are you gonna reach out and take this opportunity, are you going to be the one to put an end to Joey Flash before Dune even gets his hands on me hmm? Or are you going to be true to form crumble and choke in the same way you have done with every single big match in your career, forever second best, forever pathetic, forever a loser, forever alone. Spencer Adams, this is your life.
You said it yourself, it was your single biggest match of your career to date, you had a one on one with your single greatest foe for the title you have strived for and finally broke through to become Champion of the People…then you got killed by said biggest foe and lost your title. End promo.
The camera switches off…
…then on again.
Joey: It’s not over…well your career will be after this Sunday, but this promo is ya fuckin eulogy you whelp. How did that feel? Kyle Kemp sent you back to minors so badly you’re making Gary Glitter jealous. I think Bill Cosby will be asking for ‘The Spencer Adams’ treatment next time he hits the bar. It’s pitiful, you’ve cornered the market on hapless underdog, what kind of self-respecting man does that? Don’t you want to better yourself? Don’t you want to go out there and conquer, test your skill and will against others? But no, you’re that spastic child who gets given the award for ‘Tried Hardest’ in gym when the motherfucker was so pathetic he had to WALK the 100m. Want to know why you are where you are in both the WCF and in life? You have absolutely no drive; you’re stuck in your own little rut and are comfortable and happy there. No progression, you’re the only guy I know with a fake ID that says he’s younger. You’re the worst type of man, what kind of role model are you for the young fans here? ‘Oh look at this guy, he’s rubbish but he’s happy with it’. Well I guess we always need McDonalds workers, congratulations Spencer, your fans are the next generation of blithering idiots serving the successful, rich and likely handsome Joey Flash fans…sike, of course my fans aren’t eating at McDonalds, what do you take us for, Thomas Bates fans?
You sicken me Spencer; you’ve earned absolutely nothing in this business. Why do you deserve this match? Why do you deserve the prestige of getting beaten by me? What have you done to get this shining light on the mud pile of your career? You have a losing record, let’s rewind, let’s repeat, you have a losing record. Not on that 1-2 shit, not on that 2-3 shit, you’ve been in the WCF for over four months and you have a losing record. That does not equate to a match against Joey Flash, you gnat, this equates to a match with the likes of Ultimate Destroyer or perhaps Corey Black. That’s your level. You’re going to see why right now there is a shadow cast so totally over the entirety of the federation, there are two men fighting for that crown and there are the rest of the peasants scrambling for relevance. You’re going to see what happens when the King steps onto the battlefield and wields Excalibur among these peasants and unskilled masses, the gulf in class is staggering and maybe you haven’t grasped it yet, but ten seconds into our match when you can barely so much as touch me and I’m lighting you up the realisation will hit you just like it hits everyone else.
When I step off my throne and into this world it’s like an Asgardian dropping to Earth, the biggest and best you have can do absolutely nothing to me, my last month has been a murderers row of killers in your world, each one of them are better than you Spencer, each one of them would routinely body you and what happened?
Joey smiles.
Joey: I barely so much as broke a sweat. I’m absolutely fucking imperious. This time I’ve caught a guppy, should I toss him back? Nah fuck you Spencer, I’m going to fucking gut you Spencer. It’s time for The Antidote to get that cancer treatment, sadly for you; you can’t cure being a shit wrestler.
The man of the people, the people’s champ! Well, look where that got you, disappointed with his shitness as a wrestler he decided to turn his hand to politics, it worked for ‘The Body’ so maybe it’ll work for you too huh? Nope, they turned on you your first fuckin defence, turns out they just hated Richards instead of actually liking you. Your campaigning and glad-handing made me sick, here’s a hint lil partner, you want to gain the following of fans you feel you deserve?
Prove your skill in the middle of the ring. Simple. People tune in to cheer Dune because he gives them someone to relate to and rally behind, his skill has made them follow him and cheer for him…people tune in to see if maybe this is the week, maybe just maybe I’ll lose. Same reason people will buy the Mayweather fight this weekend, cos fuck, it’s nice to dream isn’t it? It’s all fun and games outside of the ring isn’t it Spencer, you try to rally support across the internet and make people believe that you really can do it, maybe he IS actually good, so they buy the hype and sit down to watch you and wow you serve them a straight up shit sandwich. Cut the bullshit and focus on what’s going on in the ring, that’s what they care about. You sound like a fuckin badass when on the internet but at the end of the day it’s just bullshit and fake, your skill doesn’t match your words. But boy I’ll give you some credit; you’ve got balls of steel…
Pause for effect.
Joey: …at the computer table like a newton’s cradle.
Joey shakes his long black locks before whipping them back over his head and gives a smile.
Joey: How were you raised? What made you this way Spencer? I don’t understand? If I were your father I’d give you some simple advice.
“Son, here are the ways to become a successful happy person in life:
- Strive to improve each day
- Be courteous and kind to everyone you meet
- Do unto others as they do unto you
- Stop being such a pathetic prissy little cunt, man up for once, take one step out of that self-imposed pre-pubescence and walk in the boots of a man. You get nowhere in life by being given it, you have to fucking TAKE IT. You will get nowhere losing to the likes of Kyle Kemp, you challenging Joey Flash? It’s a fucking joke, first you need to challenge your own insecurities and decide if this is really what you want in life? Are you happy with mediocrity? Are you happy being ‘just another guy?’ you fucking drone. What have I raised here? If I knew then what I know now I’d be getting that coat hanger out in pregnancy and giving you the life you fucking deserve you waste of spunk."
Hey Betty, you fat fucking ugly mess of a woman, THAT is how you talk to your son.
Joey flashes that grin.
Joey: I’d say that it hurts me to snuff out a bright talent at this stage of his career, but given you are neither bright nor a talent I’m going to take great pleasure in ending your hopes and dreams of contention and self-worth. Since your debut I’ve seen your enthusiasm and your passion, but there is absolutely nothing tangible to back it up, you barely win matches, you fail in every big opportunity you ever get to finally make a name for yourself and emerge from the shadow that joining the DRG put you in. We’re not even going to speak on that because in all honesty it speaks for itself. No Spencer, they didn’t hold you back and they didn’t stop you from progressing in the WCF, what stopped that is the same damn thing that’s stopping you now, simply put you are not a good wrestler. You can fight under any name and banner you like but the facts of this match will still remain. Joey Flash is the greatest wrestler in the world, and you are just another guy.
Let’s see what this year’s greatest loser has to bring for me? Inadequacy and inconsequential bullshit out of the ring and even worse in it, the way you’re already jumping in the grave you must like the dirt cos this is light work for me. Enjoy this match Spencer Adams, enjoy your name getting mentioned in the same sentence as mine, enjoy the people cheering for you to slay the dragon, and enjoy their shocked silence when the dragon rips you to shreds. This is the only time I ever want to share a ring with someone as shockingly bad as you again and you’re going to regret with every fibre of your being the fact you got booked in this match, this isn’t an opportunity for betterment it’s a fucking death sentence, the last thing you’re gonna see is that NY over the navy blue as I stare down like ‘Look what you made me do.’
The camera cuts.
My Apology
For this instant, for this one moment Joey Flash didn’t waver. This light would not be put out so easily.
‘I am Joey Flash’
He said to himself as the throbbing pain was being forced from his mind. He heard Jack’s voice in the back of his head.
Jack: So you choose death. This is an error that will cost you everything. I could have given you the world Joseph.
Joey had no idea what this guy was, how he’d found him in the middle of nowhere, how he knew Joey’s name, knew Dune, knew to lead him here…left him here. What was going on? Joey’s mind was running a mile a minute with a billion different thoughts, worries, possibilities and mostly, pain. However the one thought that overwhelmed everything as he felt the presence of Jack disappear completely was simple.
‘I am nobodies fucking pawn’
His eyes opened and he saw the door to the Double X club open, it swung back and forth for a moment before Joey noticed what had entered. A Rottweiler. This was Dune’s dog, he remembered.
Pinky: Oh!
She approached the dog, a smile on her face and bent down to give it a hug. Joey watched the dog as she approached, its tail wasn’t wagging, it didn’t seem excited, it didn’t seem…it didn’t seem much like a dog at all. Joey reached to grab Pinky and pulled her back just before an earth explosion rocked the doorway of the Double X club. His ears rang and his arm was throbbing with pain as he staggered to his feet amongst what was left of the front of the club, rubble. The dog had completely disappeared, it hadn’t been killed, hurt or scared off. It simply wasn’t there. Flash gritted his teeth as he managed to find Pinky also staggering up a few feet away from him. The pair of them looked through the rising smoke of the explosion and could see several figures stood in front of two large dune buggies, as the smoke cleared they could make out six masked figures, the one at the front was holding what Joey assumed was the cause of this destruction, a rocket launcher.
The most haunting thing for Joey, was that sat next to the man with the rocket launcher was the same Rottweiler from before, it seemed to be almost smiling at the chaos and destruction.
‘So you choose Death.’
Joey gritted his teeth again and grabbed Pinky.
Joey: Are you okay?
Pinky was delirious.
Pinky: I-I-
Joey: Are there any weapons here?
He slapped her. This wasn’t time for hesitancy.
Joey: WEAPONS, WHERE?!
She pointed toward the remnants of the bar, Joey hoisted her onto a shoulder and sprinted behind the bar where he was met with the remnants of a hundred smashed glasses and bottles, quickly sitting on the ground he felt the pain of the glass shards, but that pain would be nothing compared to what was going to happen to them here. He spotted the weapon Pinky was talking about and his heart sank. A shotgun. A single shotgun against military grade weaponry. They were outnumbered and truly outgunned.
He laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, Pinky looked at him in horror…until her lips started to curl upward as well and she laughed along with him.
Joey: I’m sorry.
Pinky: For blowing up my wall?
Joey: For everything. I don’t hate your man, I don’t…look, just tell him I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done. Occulo, Howard, Freeman…I mean fuck, I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to tell him in person.
Joey grabbed the shotgun, two straps of ammo and draped them over himself. He checked the chambers were full and cocked the gun.
Pinky: What are you doing?
Joey: Call this…my apology.
He grabbed Pinky and kissed her on the forehead, and glanced at her stomach.
Joey: Don’t suppose he’d let you name it Joseph huh?
Pinky was crying. She gave a sniffling laugh.
Pinky: Don’t-
Before she could even respond Joey had already left her, he had hopped over the bar and the thumping powerful footsteps akin to those of a man ascending the gallows rumbled across the wooden floor of the club. She gave a glance over the bar to see the man called Joey Flash exit the club and face their would be killers. The way he stepped through the smoke, wind whipping around him and making his hair dance in the breeze he looked every bit the action hero. She watched as the man she had hated from afar for so many months stepped forward to protect her and her unborn child. She had seen Dune escape insurmountable odds time and time again, when with him even when she was at her most scared he always made her calm and feel like everything would be okay…meeting Joey Flash for real, seeing the look in his eyes, the warmth in his heart. She had that exact same feeling now.
