Post by Jackson White on Aug 30, 2015 14:58:58 GMT -5
Portuguese television program
Comedy Hour
A generic starts to play as there can be seen an audience clapping as a man dressed on a suit enters from a red curtain. He is on a stage and people are in front of him, whistling and clapping as he waves at them.
Crowd: Fernando! Fernando! Fernando!
Fernando: Hello everyone and welcome to Comedy Hour! Our topic today is wrestling! Who here likes to watch wrestling raises their hand!
Lots of people raise it as the host starts to count the hands.
Fernando: Oh god, I am too lazy to count them all. Well, as you know, the most famous Portuguese wrestler, Jackson White, is currently employed on one of the best wrestling companies in the world! You can see him in action at WCF and this Sunday he is going to fight on a special event named Revenge on a tag-team match. In honor of “The Fenix” as he’s frequently called, we will start our show with a video with his best moments.
The video starts on a large screen. Jackson White’s theme song starts playing as there is shown White entering the ring and then raising his arm, pointing to the sky, to his father. There are shown many wrestling maneuvers by Jackson White from previous matches, such as the Missile Dropkick, which he doesn’t use anymore, the Portuguese Suplex, some low blows, some punches, some Vertical Suplexes and of course, some of his best The Destroyers. The video ends with the end of all matches Jackson won. The audience claps again as the host smiles at the camera and continues to talk.
Fernando: Pretty impressive athleticism shown by Jackson White. But well, this show is about comedy! This show make people laugh so hard they can’t breathe! So, what we also have to show you is a sketch regarding Jackson White and making fun of his opponents at Revenge and many more. Just sit back and enjoy!
The sketch starts on the same large screen. The scene starts in a locker room and there is a woman wearing a blue dress and high heels. She is a redhead and she is painting her nails. She is with her left leg crossed over the right one, but when she switches the legs… There can be seen a penis. Yes, a penis. After all, she’s not a woman. She’s a transvestite. I mean, he’s a transvestite. He takes a look at his nails as a guy enters the locker room. He has a sticker on his shirt that says “Jeff Bag”.
Jeff Bag: That OCD meeting was great! I met this beautiful woman and we talked for hours! I was constantly making sure a plate was at the center of a table, but she gave me her phone number! Jay OhImGay are you listening to me?
Jay OhImGay: Oh my god Jeff, I’m sick of hearing your stupid and boring stories about your OCD. I get it, you’re ill, now leave me alone.
Jeff Bag: Jay!!!! Why are you talking to me like this? Wait, why do you have only three of your nails painted? Paint the other ones too!
Jay OhImGay: I was about to paint them when you entered here and interrupted me!
Jeff Bag: No, you don’t understand, you have to paint them now. It makes no sense… Why do you have only three nails painted? WHY? WHY JAY? ANSWER ME!
Jay OhImGay: Oh my fucking god, isn’t there any medicine to make your OCD go away? You’re so annoying, for fuck’s sake…
Jeff Bag: Don’t talk to me like that! Don’t forget we have an important wrestling match on Sunday against Jackson White and Ultimate Exterminator! We can’t be fighting, we need each other to win!
Jay stopped painting his nails and looked forward, thinking. He got up and started a speech.
Jay OhImGay: You’re right. We have. And we will win. We will show those two bitches who commands WCF! They will regret everything they’ve ever said and thought of us. We are the best tag-team in the entire world!
Jeff Bag: You’re right, but please, paint your nails, it is making my brain itchy.
Jay OhImGay: Really? That’s all you’ve got to say?
Jeff Bag: Well, yeah…
Jay started to cry.
Jay OhImGay: Not even a “Hey, nice speech Jay.”? Ugh!!!! I hate you! You never understand how I feel… You only care about your OCD and about your bikes.
Jeff Bag: But I don’t even practice BMX anymore.
Jay OhImGay: See? It’s all about you, it is never about me. I don’t understand how you say you love me when you treat me like that.
Jeff Bag: Oh my god Jay, JUST PAINT YOUR FUCKING NAILS!
Suddenly, a man named Jayson Cost, a member of Jeff and Jay’s team, Pantieon, appears. He looks shocked at Jay OhImGay since he’s dressed as a woman and then at Jeff Bag who has no idea what to do.
Jayson Cost: I’m not wearing panties.
He leaves the locker room again and the video ends. The audience applauds as Fernando laughs and starts to talk to the camera.
Fernando: I’m sure you all loved this sketch. But well, our time is up, see you next week on Comedy Hour and before we go I only have to wish the best of lucks to Jackson White, Portugal’s pride!
The audience claps as the program theme song plays and the show is over.
WCF house show
10PM
Neuroma by Fuse starts to play as Jackson White enters the ring with a Portuguese flag. He grabs a microphone.
Jackson: Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
WCF fans give Jackson a mixed reaction. There are some insults to him but there are also people who are happy to see him. After a brief pause, Jackson starts to talk.
Jackson: Everything in life has a beginning and an end. Life itself is like that. We are born, then we die. We start dating someone, then we’re over. We have a job, then we’re fired or we retire. The same happens on this business. People fight in this ring and then eventually retire. It’s impossible to wrestle forever as it is not possible to be immortal. Ok, it may be possible for some people, especially some that are here in WCF, but for the majority of people and mainly for my opponents at Revenge, it is not fucking possible. You all may not believe in me, but you’ll see that you’ll get tired of watching Jeff Purse fighting all over again. He has a remarkable career on this company and he has won several titles. I admit he’s an excellent competitor but… His time is up. He could be a good manager, which would probably be a good decision. That way, it would be okay to make sure the bell is correctly aligned, it would be fine to check if all the corner’s protection are correctly put and there would be no problem to freak out about something being messy or out of position because he wouldn’t be fighting on a match!
Imagine how Jay Omega will feel if something like that happens during our match at Revenge? Let’s say it was one of you fighting with Jeff Purse on your corner. Would you feel safe? Would you know for sure he had your back? Or were you worried that he was somewhere near the ring checking if something was at the place it should be? Most likely, when you needed a tag because you were tired or hurt, he wouldn’t be at your corner. Jeff may be great at being a World Champion, he may even be good at Singles Matches, but he is not good teaming-up with someone. I admit that I don’t like it either, but at least I don’t abandon my partners just because of a disease I have. That’s the problem with WCF. We have too many people with mental illnesses and alcohol and drug problems.
But well, I just have to take profit of that and win matches. Because whether you like it or not, I’ll win at Revenge. Not because Ultimate Destroyer is a good partner, not because Jay Omega and Jeff Purse are good wrestlers, no. I’ll be victorious because it is my time to be a conqueror on this company. Jay Omega has already had his chance to win a world title, Jeff Purse has already had his moment to shine and he is successful. WCF needs new blood. Fans are tired of watching the same fucking old-man fighting. Besides, Seth knows that younger wrestlers are better for business! We have more power, stamina, speed, endurance and charisma. Besides, I have shown that I am the future of this company. I defeated WCF legends at XIII, I defeated former Hardcore Champion Marc Mayhem, I defeated current Trios Champion, Gemini Battle, I have defeated on a multi tag-team match the current number one contender for the WCF World Championship! How the hell do you stupid bastards support Jeff Purse and Jay Omega instead of supporting me?
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Jackson: Do you know what your problem is? You’re hurt by the truth. I am an honest man and yet you criticize me because I am telling you things you don’t like. Would you prefer I was a fake person? Well, I am not. That’s the flaw all of you Americans have. You think your country is better than every other nation in the world and when we point the flaws you have you think we are jealous or we are weird. Let me continue to tell you the truth then, a notorious part of your population is obese, the fact that it’s legal for you to have a weapon is an advance for the criminality to grow, and you’re all racists, xenophobes and egocentric. I could say more, but I am sick of talking to you people. I’m really tired of trying to make you understand who you should support. Not that I care, but sometimes I am worried about wrestling fans. Just sometimes.
To conclude, I only have to say that I am sorry Jay Omega never had a World Title and I am sorry Jeff Purse thinks is time in WCF is not over, but, once again, I’ll tell the truth about them. Omega only returned because he thinks he is able to win a World Title. Guess what? He won’t be close to it. There are different and better wrestlers than him now, Seth won’t be stupid enough to give him that opportunity. And Jeff Purse, I honestly hope that someday you can overpass your OCD, but for now you shouldn’t be back on the rings. I’ll show you I’m right on Sunday. Goodbye, everyone.
Jackson puts the microphone down and leaves the ring while the entire arena is booing and insulting him.
Comedy Hour
A generic starts to play as there can be seen an audience clapping as a man dressed on a suit enters from a red curtain. He is on a stage and people are in front of him, whistling and clapping as he waves at them.
Crowd: Fernando! Fernando! Fernando!
Fernando: Hello everyone and welcome to Comedy Hour! Our topic today is wrestling! Who here likes to watch wrestling raises their hand!
Lots of people raise it as the host starts to count the hands.
Fernando: Oh god, I am too lazy to count them all. Well, as you know, the most famous Portuguese wrestler, Jackson White, is currently employed on one of the best wrestling companies in the world! You can see him in action at WCF and this Sunday he is going to fight on a special event named Revenge on a tag-team match. In honor of “The Fenix” as he’s frequently called, we will start our show with a video with his best moments.
The video starts on a large screen. Jackson White’s theme song starts playing as there is shown White entering the ring and then raising his arm, pointing to the sky, to his father. There are shown many wrestling maneuvers by Jackson White from previous matches, such as the Missile Dropkick, which he doesn’t use anymore, the Portuguese Suplex, some low blows, some punches, some Vertical Suplexes and of course, some of his best The Destroyers. The video ends with the end of all matches Jackson won. The audience claps again as the host smiles at the camera and continues to talk.
Fernando: Pretty impressive athleticism shown by Jackson White. But well, this show is about comedy! This show make people laugh so hard they can’t breathe! So, what we also have to show you is a sketch regarding Jackson White and making fun of his opponents at Revenge and many more. Just sit back and enjoy!
The sketch starts on the same large screen. The scene starts in a locker room and there is a woman wearing a blue dress and high heels. She is a redhead and she is painting her nails. She is with her left leg crossed over the right one, but when she switches the legs… There can be seen a penis. Yes, a penis. After all, she’s not a woman. She’s a transvestite. I mean, he’s a transvestite. He takes a look at his nails as a guy enters the locker room. He has a sticker on his shirt that says “Jeff Bag”.
Jeff Bag: That OCD meeting was great! I met this beautiful woman and we talked for hours! I was constantly making sure a plate was at the center of a table, but she gave me her phone number! Jay OhImGay are you listening to me?
Jay OhImGay: Oh my god Jeff, I’m sick of hearing your stupid and boring stories about your OCD. I get it, you’re ill, now leave me alone.
Jeff Bag: Jay!!!! Why are you talking to me like this? Wait, why do you have only three of your nails painted? Paint the other ones too!
Jay OhImGay: I was about to paint them when you entered here and interrupted me!
Jeff Bag: No, you don’t understand, you have to paint them now. It makes no sense… Why do you have only three nails painted? WHY? WHY JAY? ANSWER ME!
Jay OhImGay: Oh my fucking god, isn’t there any medicine to make your OCD go away? You’re so annoying, for fuck’s sake…
Jeff Bag: Don’t talk to me like that! Don’t forget we have an important wrestling match on Sunday against Jackson White and Ultimate Exterminator! We can’t be fighting, we need each other to win!
Jay stopped painting his nails and looked forward, thinking. He got up and started a speech.
Jay OhImGay: You’re right. We have. And we will win. We will show those two bitches who commands WCF! They will regret everything they’ve ever said and thought of us. We are the best tag-team in the entire world!
Jeff Bag: You’re right, but please, paint your nails, it is making my brain itchy.
Jay OhImGay: Really? That’s all you’ve got to say?
Jeff Bag: Well, yeah…
Jay started to cry.
Jay OhImGay: Not even a “Hey, nice speech Jay.”? Ugh!!!! I hate you! You never understand how I feel… You only care about your OCD and about your bikes.
Jeff Bag: But I don’t even practice BMX anymore.
Jay OhImGay: See? It’s all about you, it is never about me. I don’t understand how you say you love me when you treat me like that.
Jeff Bag: Oh my god Jay, JUST PAINT YOUR FUCKING NAILS!
Suddenly, a man named Jayson Cost, a member of Jeff and Jay’s team, Pantieon, appears. He looks shocked at Jay OhImGay since he’s dressed as a woman and then at Jeff Bag who has no idea what to do.
Jayson Cost: I’m not wearing panties.
He leaves the locker room again and the video ends. The audience applauds as Fernando laughs and starts to talk to the camera.
Fernando: I’m sure you all loved this sketch. But well, our time is up, see you next week on Comedy Hour and before we go I only have to wish the best of lucks to Jackson White, Portugal’s pride!
The audience claps as the program theme song plays and the show is over.
WCF house show
10PM
Neuroma by Fuse starts to play as Jackson White enters the ring with a Portuguese flag. He grabs a microphone.
Jackson: Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
WCF fans give Jackson a mixed reaction. There are some insults to him but there are also people who are happy to see him. After a brief pause, Jackson starts to talk.
Jackson: Everything in life has a beginning and an end. Life itself is like that. We are born, then we die. We start dating someone, then we’re over. We have a job, then we’re fired or we retire. The same happens on this business. People fight in this ring and then eventually retire. It’s impossible to wrestle forever as it is not possible to be immortal. Ok, it may be possible for some people, especially some that are here in WCF, but for the majority of people and mainly for my opponents at Revenge, it is not fucking possible. You all may not believe in me, but you’ll see that you’ll get tired of watching Jeff Purse fighting all over again. He has a remarkable career on this company and he has won several titles. I admit he’s an excellent competitor but… His time is up. He could be a good manager, which would probably be a good decision. That way, it would be okay to make sure the bell is correctly aligned, it would be fine to check if all the corner’s protection are correctly put and there would be no problem to freak out about something being messy or out of position because he wouldn’t be fighting on a match!
Imagine how Jay Omega will feel if something like that happens during our match at Revenge? Let’s say it was one of you fighting with Jeff Purse on your corner. Would you feel safe? Would you know for sure he had your back? Or were you worried that he was somewhere near the ring checking if something was at the place it should be? Most likely, when you needed a tag because you were tired or hurt, he wouldn’t be at your corner. Jeff may be great at being a World Champion, he may even be good at Singles Matches, but he is not good teaming-up with someone. I admit that I don’t like it either, but at least I don’t abandon my partners just because of a disease I have. That’s the problem with WCF. We have too many people with mental illnesses and alcohol and drug problems.
But well, I just have to take profit of that and win matches. Because whether you like it or not, I’ll win at Revenge. Not because Ultimate Destroyer is a good partner, not because Jay Omega and Jeff Purse are good wrestlers, no. I’ll be victorious because it is my time to be a conqueror on this company. Jay Omega has already had his chance to win a world title, Jeff Purse has already had his moment to shine and he is successful. WCF needs new blood. Fans are tired of watching the same fucking old-man fighting. Besides, Seth knows that younger wrestlers are better for business! We have more power, stamina, speed, endurance and charisma. Besides, I have shown that I am the future of this company. I defeated WCF legends at XIII, I defeated former Hardcore Champion Marc Mayhem, I defeated current Trios Champion, Gemini Battle, I have defeated on a multi tag-team match the current number one contender for the WCF World Championship! How the hell do you stupid bastards support Jeff Purse and Jay Omega instead of supporting me?
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!!! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Jackson: Do you know what your problem is? You’re hurt by the truth. I am an honest man and yet you criticize me because I am telling you things you don’t like. Would you prefer I was a fake person? Well, I am not. That’s the flaw all of you Americans have. You think your country is better than every other nation in the world and when we point the flaws you have you think we are jealous or we are weird. Let me continue to tell you the truth then, a notorious part of your population is obese, the fact that it’s legal for you to have a weapon is an advance for the criminality to grow, and you’re all racists, xenophobes and egocentric. I could say more, but I am sick of talking to you people. I’m really tired of trying to make you understand who you should support. Not that I care, but sometimes I am worried about wrestling fans. Just sometimes.
To conclude, I only have to say that I am sorry Jay Omega never had a World Title and I am sorry Jeff Purse thinks is time in WCF is not over, but, once again, I’ll tell the truth about them. Omega only returned because he thinks he is able to win a World Title. Guess what? He won’t be close to it. There are different and better wrestlers than him now, Seth won’t be stupid enough to give him that opportunity. And Jeff Purse, I honestly hope that someday you can overpass your OCD, but for now you shouldn’t be back on the rings. I’ll show you I’m right on Sunday. Goodbye, everyone.
Jackson puts the microphone down and leaves the ring while the entire arena is booing and insulting him.
