Welcome To Tinseltown: A Small Introduction
May 27, 2015 21:33:21 GMT -5
Crow McMorris and Howard Black like this
Post by Raymond Hatcher on May 27, 2015 21:33:21 GMT -5
***The scene opens on the distinct tick-tock, tick-tock sound of an analogue clock sitting atop a very large, mahogany bookcase. The tick-tock is overtaken by the voice of a man out of view. It sounds like just one end of a conversation, as we only hear the voice barking out questions that linger with no response.***
Two hundred thirty-six pounds! Two hundred thirty-six pounds, Carla? Are you serious? Can you imagine how embarrassing that was?
***As the voice continues the camera pulls back from the bookshelf and pans around the room revealing a luxurious office decked in mahogany and gold trim as far as the eye can see. A nice sized bar tucked in one corner, some elegant furniture cased in leather, a couch, an ataman, some chairs and a huge desk behind which sits a large chair, it’s back to us. On the other side of the chair we see the silhouette of the man who’s voice we’ve been listening to, it would seem that he is talking on a phone.***
I have this crazy person running around some town in Kansas, obviously conversing with paid actors or maybe some of the bright gems that come from whatever mental institution he belongs in an-.
***The voice cuts-off and pauses for a moment as if listening to a response and then continues.***
Yes, yes, I know, but it was a huge crowd, live on world-wide television. One of my rare opportunities to wrestle in Mexico and they announce me as hailing from two hundred thirty-six pounds! My first impressions in WCF are of some fool from a delineated measurement of weight. I might as well have been a joker billed from Parts Unknown…what am I…BattleKat?
***Another brief pause.***
Yes, of course you don’t, no one does, or at least should any way. It’s irrelevant, it’s all completely irrelevant, this completely inexcusable and if you hadn’t put seven years into this, you’d already be out the door without even so much as an explanation.
***Pause again.***
No, no, no I told you no explanation, no excuses, never again, ok? Never again.
***Pause.***
Fine, yes and I need the notes from Sunday, I expect them ASAP.
***Pause.***
Ok, goodbye.
***The figure shifts a bit behind the large chair, before the chair slowly spins around revealing a gentleman with golden locks and big, blinding smile spread across his face. The man is clad in what looks to be a very expensive business suit. He has a phone in his left hand which he then parks on the desk in front of him.***
Welcome to Tinseltown.
***The man reaches forward and strikes a button on his desk. We see the wood paneled wall behind him begin to re-track revealing large, floor-to-ceiling windows. The view from the windows is of a bright and sunny downtown Hollywood, California.***
Beautiful view, isn’t it? Yes, Hollywood is a beautiful place. A place for only the best and the brightest. No room here for thieves and crooks. No room for the dregs or the downtrodden of society. Now that I’ve introduced you to my home, let me introduce myself.
***The gentleman pauses for a minute letting out a slow exhale before continuing.***
Hello, I’m Raymond Hatcher, and here I am sitting atop the greatest town in the world. The dreams of glitz and glamour; the dreams of fame and fortune all coalesce right here. See here you can become an idol, a legend, a star…imprinted in the ground in front of a global landmark. Take a look out there. Go ahead, look at all the tour busses, all the cameras flashing, the hotdog stands lining the treat filled with enamored tourists from every inch of the globe. On the daily droves of people clamor to Tinseltown. They come here because of the history, the prestige that engulfs this magical place. Sure they can go to Disneyland, but why? Why stare at an artificial play-land with fake castles and fake princesses when they can come to Hollywood and meet a real princess? And instead of big fake castles, but we have really, really big mansions and, of course, this kind of view. No grander, no more vibrate, no more real and genuine a place you will find on this earth.
Speaking of real and genuine these are two words that would not be fitting when describing the latest adventures of one K. L. Henson. It’s funny Henson I guess taking two seconds to running all over Kansas was a little easier than just typing Raymond Hatcher into Google. I don’t know, it’s seems like a big waste of time to me. It really shouldn’t be that hard to figure out all about the amazing successes of one Raymond Hatcher. Accomplished entrepreneur, world class public speaker, and of course one of the most accomplished wrestlers the business has ever seen. Of course some are more pre-occupied with spewing quaint metaphors and silly redundant adjectives to try and make what they say seem more relevant and intelligent. Well, you can have the vocabulary of a Harvard literary professor, but that doesn’t mean what you say is actually full of any substance or wit.
Of course I’m not here to banter about the wit or lack-there-of of a Mr. Henson. And I’m certainly not here to discuss a Mister…no, wait…
***Raymond Hatcher looks down at a piece of paper on his desk scrolling it with his eyes quickly before continuing to speak.***
Professor Coach. What is that anyway? Is he a professor or a coach? Is Coach his last name and he’s a professor? I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t really care, it’s not important. No, I’m not here to talk about either of those two. No, that’s not at all why I’m here. Some of you may be sitting back and thinking: well, why are you here, Mr. Hatcher? That’s a good question, one I’m going to answer right now.
I’m here to help. Yes, you heard that right, I’m here to help. And I’m not just here to help the WCF become the greatest promotion it can be, I’m here to help everyone of you. All the fans, all the wrestlers, all the staff and crew, matter of fact, I’m here to help everyone not just in the WCF, but this little spinning orb we fondly refer to as Earth. Now isn’t that great. And some you out there might be thinking: but Mr. Hatcher I don’t really need any help. And to that I say: everyone needs a little help. And I’m happy to help. In fact I’m more than happy to help. It just happens to be my purpose on this planet. Some people go around in life being negative, abusive, self-absorbed, petty, jealous, sick, depraved, and so on and so forth. Lots of people don’t only want to succeed in life, they want to see other people fail. It’s a sad, low existence, but some people have nothing better to do. They have an urge inside to feel superior to everyone and some of those people can’t just achieve that feeling by succeeding at their chosen goals in life, some of those people don’t even have goals. So, instead of just working hard and trying to get ahead they want to ruin this whole fun, whirling, trip through time and space for everyone else. I want to say I hate these kinds of people, but I can’t.
***Instead of the high, upbeat manner he was just displaying, Hatcher’s eye brows lower and he dives into a more serious tone.***
Once upon a time I just like most of you were one of those people. I used to blame the world for all my misfortunes. I blamed my teachers, I blamed my parents, I blamed the nice lady down at the convenience store. I blamed the cop standing on the corner. I blamed the bus driver and the principle. I blamed the social worker, I blamed everyone and everything.
See, I was full of hate. I was full of anger at the world. I didn’t want to accept things, I didn’t want to be who I was, where I was. I didn’t want to be me, a boy stuck in a terrible situation. I wanted to be like the other happy smiling kids. Full of life, hearts full of wonder and that great adventurous attitude you lose a little bit when you become an adult. Yes, I wanted to be all that. So you know what I did? I became that. Yes, I decided I wanted to be a smiling happy kid, so I was. I pulled my lips back, bore my teeth a bit, not too much, don’t want to frighten people.
***Hatcher lets out a cheesy, stupid laugh.***
And I just smiled at the world. YES! That’s the answer. You just have to smile at the world. It’s about being positive and brushing off all the negative. Take me for example. It was my big debut for the WCF, a triple threat match. Not really my cup of tea, but hey, I’m not the booker. Well I put in one heck of an effort, but look what happened. Despite trying my hardest, Professor Coach lost and K. L. “Take The Long Way Around” Henson picks up the win. Bully for you, Mr. Henson! What a great win! Congratulations! And hey, Professor Coach, don’t feel, bad even though I’m sure you do after being beaten and humiliated on world-wide television. You shouldn’t let that keep you down. See, I’m not going to let the fact that I didn’t stop you, Coach, from losing keep me from smiling. No way, and why should I? I have a pay per view match to look forward to.
I guess someone behind the scenes really sticks by the moto the more the merrier. I mean six guys one match, a total free-for-all. What do you guys like to call these matches around here? Six-Way Warfare? Six Man Mayhem? Six Pack Challenge? I don’t know, but what I do know is that at Asesinato De Mayo I walk out victorious. And maybe my confident exceeds me, but that’s how you must think when facing any challenge. You must believe in yourself. You have to believe that you will prevail. You have to believe that you can overcome anything. No obstacle is too big, even if there’s five of ‘em. Five men lined up and ready to get a little help from yours truly. They’ll get to learn a very important lesson in life. A lesson most of us have learned from time to time, and that’s how to deal with defeat. It still amazes me to this day how upset some people get over losing. I have had my run-ins with it once or twice. I try to keep my neck above water though. Even when lose after lose is trying to drag you down, you have to keep preserving and sure you probably won’t make it to the top like I have, but maybe…just maybe a very tiny percentage of you will. It’s all about grabbing that brass ring. Do you hear that—
***Hatcher looks over paper on his desk***
Umm, Snapz and Teo Del Sol, Joey Raid, Jack Coston, and Marcus Cain. Just keep believing in yourself no matter how embarrassing you may feel losing on pay per view. Just don’t give-up, guys! There’s always second place, well maybe not in this match, but you know in general that’s usually the case. None-the-less best of luck to all of you this Sunday. And please whenever you need a good pick me, remember I’m here to help.
***Hatcher flashes his pearly whites as he leans back in his chair and the camera pans over his shoulder out the window at Hollywood down below, the scene fades to black.***
Two hundred thirty-six pounds! Two hundred thirty-six pounds, Carla? Are you serious? Can you imagine how embarrassing that was?
***As the voice continues the camera pulls back from the bookshelf and pans around the room revealing a luxurious office decked in mahogany and gold trim as far as the eye can see. A nice sized bar tucked in one corner, some elegant furniture cased in leather, a couch, an ataman, some chairs and a huge desk behind which sits a large chair, it’s back to us. On the other side of the chair we see the silhouette of the man who’s voice we’ve been listening to, it would seem that he is talking on a phone.***
I have this crazy person running around some town in Kansas, obviously conversing with paid actors or maybe some of the bright gems that come from whatever mental institution he belongs in an-.
***The voice cuts-off and pauses for a moment as if listening to a response and then continues.***
Yes, yes, I know, but it was a huge crowd, live on world-wide television. One of my rare opportunities to wrestle in Mexico and they announce me as hailing from two hundred thirty-six pounds! My first impressions in WCF are of some fool from a delineated measurement of weight. I might as well have been a joker billed from Parts Unknown…what am I…BattleKat?
***Another brief pause.***
Yes, of course you don’t, no one does, or at least should any way. It’s irrelevant, it’s all completely irrelevant, this completely inexcusable and if you hadn’t put seven years into this, you’d already be out the door without even so much as an explanation.
***Pause again.***
No, no, no I told you no explanation, no excuses, never again, ok? Never again.
***Pause.***
Fine, yes and I need the notes from Sunday, I expect them ASAP.
***Pause.***
Ok, goodbye.
***The figure shifts a bit behind the large chair, before the chair slowly spins around revealing a gentleman with golden locks and big, blinding smile spread across his face. The man is clad in what looks to be a very expensive business suit. He has a phone in his left hand which he then parks on the desk in front of him.***
Welcome to Tinseltown.
***The man reaches forward and strikes a button on his desk. We see the wood paneled wall behind him begin to re-track revealing large, floor-to-ceiling windows. The view from the windows is of a bright and sunny downtown Hollywood, California.***
Beautiful view, isn’t it? Yes, Hollywood is a beautiful place. A place for only the best and the brightest. No room here for thieves and crooks. No room for the dregs or the downtrodden of society. Now that I’ve introduced you to my home, let me introduce myself.
***The gentleman pauses for a minute letting out a slow exhale before continuing.***
Hello, I’m Raymond Hatcher, and here I am sitting atop the greatest town in the world. The dreams of glitz and glamour; the dreams of fame and fortune all coalesce right here. See here you can become an idol, a legend, a star…imprinted in the ground in front of a global landmark. Take a look out there. Go ahead, look at all the tour busses, all the cameras flashing, the hotdog stands lining the treat filled with enamored tourists from every inch of the globe. On the daily droves of people clamor to Tinseltown. They come here because of the history, the prestige that engulfs this magical place. Sure they can go to Disneyland, but why? Why stare at an artificial play-land with fake castles and fake princesses when they can come to Hollywood and meet a real princess? And instead of big fake castles, but we have really, really big mansions and, of course, this kind of view. No grander, no more vibrate, no more real and genuine a place you will find on this earth.
Speaking of real and genuine these are two words that would not be fitting when describing the latest adventures of one K. L. Henson. It’s funny Henson I guess taking two seconds to running all over Kansas was a little easier than just typing Raymond Hatcher into Google. I don’t know, it’s seems like a big waste of time to me. It really shouldn’t be that hard to figure out all about the amazing successes of one Raymond Hatcher. Accomplished entrepreneur, world class public speaker, and of course one of the most accomplished wrestlers the business has ever seen. Of course some are more pre-occupied with spewing quaint metaphors and silly redundant adjectives to try and make what they say seem more relevant and intelligent. Well, you can have the vocabulary of a Harvard literary professor, but that doesn’t mean what you say is actually full of any substance or wit.
Of course I’m not here to banter about the wit or lack-there-of of a Mr. Henson. And I’m certainly not here to discuss a Mister…no, wait…
***Raymond Hatcher looks down at a piece of paper on his desk scrolling it with his eyes quickly before continuing to speak.***
Professor Coach. What is that anyway? Is he a professor or a coach? Is Coach his last name and he’s a professor? I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t really care, it’s not important. No, I’m not here to talk about either of those two. No, that’s not at all why I’m here. Some of you may be sitting back and thinking: well, why are you here, Mr. Hatcher? That’s a good question, one I’m going to answer right now.
I’m here to help. Yes, you heard that right, I’m here to help. And I’m not just here to help the WCF become the greatest promotion it can be, I’m here to help everyone of you. All the fans, all the wrestlers, all the staff and crew, matter of fact, I’m here to help everyone not just in the WCF, but this little spinning orb we fondly refer to as Earth. Now isn’t that great. And some you out there might be thinking: but Mr. Hatcher I don’t really need any help. And to that I say: everyone needs a little help. And I’m happy to help. In fact I’m more than happy to help. It just happens to be my purpose on this planet. Some people go around in life being negative, abusive, self-absorbed, petty, jealous, sick, depraved, and so on and so forth. Lots of people don’t only want to succeed in life, they want to see other people fail. It’s a sad, low existence, but some people have nothing better to do. They have an urge inside to feel superior to everyone and some of those people can’t just achieve that feeling by succeeding at their chosen goals in life, some of those people don’t even have goals. So, instead of just working hard and trying to get ahead they want to ruin this whole fun, whirling, trip through time and space for everyone else. I want to say I hate these kinds of people, but I can’t.
***Instead of the high, upbeat manner he was just displaying, Hatcher’s eye brows lower and he dives into a more serious tone.***
Once upon a time I just like most of you were one of those people. I used to blame the world for all my misfortunes. I blamed my teachers, I blamed my parents, I blamed the nice lady down at the convenience store. I blamed the cop standing on the corner. I blamed the bus driver and the principle. I blamed the social worker, I blamed everyone and everything.
See, I was full of hate. I was full of anger at the world. I didn’t want to accept things, I didn’t want to be who I was, where I was. I didn’t want to be me, a boy stuck in a terrible situation. I wanted to be like the other happy smiling kids. Full of life, hearts full of wonder and that great adventurous attitude you lose a little bit when you become an adult. Yes, I wanted to be all that. So you know what I did? I became that. Yes, I decided I wanted to be a smiling happy kid, so I was. I pulled my lips back, bore my teeth a bit, not too much, don’t want to frighten people.
***Hatcher lets out a cheesy, stupid laugh.***
And I just smiled at the world. YES! That’s the answer. You just have to smile at the world. It’s about being positive and brushing off all the negative. Take me for example. It was my big debut for the WCF, a triple threat match. Not really my cup of tea, but hey, I’m not the booker. Well I put in one heck of an effort, but look what happened. Despite trying my hardest, Professor Coach lost and K. L. “Take The Long Way Around” Henson picks up the win. Bully for you, Mr. Henson! What a great win! Congratulations! And hey, Professor Coach, don’t feel, bad even though I’m sure you do after being beaten and humiliated on world-wide television. You shouldn’t let that keep you down. See, I’m not going to let the fact that I didn’t stop you, Coach, from losing keep me from smiling. No way, and why should I? I have a pay per view match to look forward to.
I guess someone behind the scenes really sticks by the moto the more the merrier. I mean six guys one match, a total free-for-all. What do you guys like to call these matches around here? Six-Way Warfare? Six Man Mayhem? Six Pack Challenge? I don’t know, but what I do know is that at Asesinato De Mayo I walk out victorious. And maybe my confident exceeds me, but that’s how you must think when facing any challenge. You must believe in yourself. You have to believe that you will prevail. You have to believe that you can overcome anything. No obstacle is too big, even if there’s five of ‘em. Five men lined up and ready to get a little help from yours truly. They’ll get to learn a very important lesson in life. A lesson most of us have learned from time to time, and that’s how to deal with defeat. It still amazes me to this day how upset some people get over losing. I have had my run-ins with it once or twice. I try to keep my neck above water though. Even when lose after lose is trying to drag you down, you have to keep preserving and sure you probably won’t make it to the top like I have, but maybe…just maybe a very tiny percentage of you will. It’s all about grabbing that brass ring. Do you hear that—
***Hatcher looks over paper on his desk***
Umm, Snapz and Teo Del Sol, Joey Raid, Jack Coston, and Marcus Cain. Just keep believing in yourself no matter how embarrassing you may feel losing on pay per view. Just don’t give-up, guys! There’s always second place, well maybe not in this match, but you know in general that’s usually the case. None-the-less best of luck to all of you this Sunday. And please whenever you need a good pick me, remember I’m here to help.
***Hatcher flashes his pearly whites as he leans back in his chair and the camera pans over his shoulder out the window at Hollywood down below, the scene fades to black.***
