Beauty and the Duck
Apr 19, 2015 13:47:28 GMT -5
Natural ICE Beckman, Joey Flash, and 1 more like this
Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2015 13:47:28 GMT -5
“Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness. And they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy... or they become legend.”
Jim Harrison
“Don't let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you're crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you're lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you're greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn't understand.”
Robert G. Allen
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
Weihui Zhou
Beauty and the Duck
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This was it, the feeling she had been searching for since she had come here to the WCF. She felt odd… a weird warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach like she had swallowed some suspicious substance which had turned her tummy into some kind of warm luxurious wonderland only she could enjoy. The truth was of course that Katherine only felt like this because she had been in a match with a man she had been quite frankly obsessed with since the day she had laid eyes on him. She didn’t know why but for some reason something about Joey Flash made her feel like she was home… a sensation she was unfamiliar with. Katherine sat back in her chair playing with her long brunette hair as she placed her feet up on a desk in front of her. Katherine was wearing a leather mini skirt, fishnet tights, black leather boots and an extremely tight white vest top. Katherine continued to play with her hair as her friend and companion, Ducky Flash, walked over the desk top looking at her with a smile on his face… or beak. Whatever.
Ducky Flash: For some fat fuckin’ bitch who just lost her god damn asshole match you sure do seem happy today, you fat fuckin’ whore.
Katherine: Oh I happiful, Ducky. I am EXTREMELY happiful. You know why? Because today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Ducky Flash: First day of the rest of your life? What the fuck does that mean ya silly bitch.
Katherine: I’ll be damned if I know, Ducky. I heard it once on TV and thought it sounded cool. But then I also heard that Trix were for kids on TV and that right there is BULLSHIT cos I enjoy a good bowl of Trix and I sure as hell am NOT a kid. And don’t you even say that I am just to try and get a reaction out of me, Ducky. Cos it isn’t going to work! Not today! Today is just wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too good of a day for me to be Grrrrrrr no matter what you do to try and piss me off!
Ducky Flash: What if I fuck your fat fuckin’ bitch whore of a mother? Would you be pissed off then you daft fuckin’ asshole?
Katherine burst out laughing as she shook her head at the little yellow duck stood up in the center of the desk.
Katherine: No, Ducky. I wouldn’t even be pissed off then. Besides… I don’t have a mother. You know that.
Ducky Flash: What the fuck do you mean you haven’t got a mother? You some kinda freak fuck test tube baby or some shit?
Katherine was about to tell the annoying little duck off as the office door began to open. Katherine jumped a little as she sat back in the chair trying to make herself look as cool as possible, her feet still up on the desk.
Katherine: Play it cool, Ducky. Play it cool. This shit right here is just about to get interesting.
Finally after what seemed like forever Seth Lerch finally stepped into the office, which was obviously his and not Katherines. Seth immediately saw that Katherine was sat in his chair and looked to be quite annoyed, but managed to keep it under control somewhat remembering what had happened to him the last time the two of them had met… what with Katherine holding a blade to his neck and all.
Seth: Lilith. What the hell are you doing in my office!
Katherine: Whoa… WHOA!!! Your office? I didn’t see your name on it!
Seth immediately opened the office door and pointed at the name plate, which clearly said “Seth Lerch – Owner” on it.
Seth: It’s right there. So don’t give me that bullshit.
Ducky Flash: Holy shit! That fuckin’ asshole just said a bad word, someone alert those soft fucking assholes in the media or some shit!
Katherine: Hahahahaha! Yeah you’re right, Ducky. You can always tell when Seth is really annoyed because he looks like he’s just wet himself. He probably needs a hug or something. Maybe you should go hug him, you’re all cuddly and stuff.
Ducky Flash: Me hug that fuck tard? Hell fuckin’ no. No bread crumbs in the world would be enough to make me hug that fat fuck.
Katherine: Bread crumbs?
Ducky Flash: Yeah it’s what us ducks use as currency. Ten fuckin’ bread crumbs to punch this ugly fuck in the mouth kinda shit, ya know?
Katherine: Hahahaha right, right. That makes sense I guess.
Seth looked at Katherine confused as she appeared to continue to talk to herself.
Seth: Look Lilith…
Katherine: My name isn’t Lilith, it’s Katherine. Katherine Phoenix. The worlds greatest female fighter.
Seth: Whatever. What are you doing in my office? Get your feet off of my desk! Do you know how hard it is to keep this thing looking all shiny like that?
Katherine didn’t move, or even consider moving. She simply remained in the exact same position ignoring everything Seth just said. Katherine casually pointed to the chair in front of the desk as she continued being oblivious of Seths mood.
Katherine: Take a seat, Seth.
Seth: No! You get out of my chair!
Katherine: Seth, Seth… we can play who’s chair is who’s all day long or we can get down to business. Wouldn’t you rather do the latter? I could hold a knife to your throat again… you seem to listen better that way? Would you prefer that?
Seth stood and considered his options for a while, eventually deciding to just sit down in front of the desk.
Seth: What do you want, Lilith?
Katherine sighed as she stared at the man, anger boiling within her.
Katherine: How many times do I need to tell you that my name is Katherine! For gods sake, Seth. Do you EVER fucking listen?!
Ducky Flash: Break his fuckin’ neck, the ignorant asshole! That’ll show him! The fuck tard!
Katherine: Shut up Ducky! SETH!!! Listen. There is only one thing I want, I wa---
Seth: Want what? Ownership of my company? That’s all anyone ever wants. They’re all jealous of what I have.
Katherine: First of all if you ever cut me off again I’ll shove this pen down your throat… and secondly no, I do not want or care about your company. What I want is simple.
Seth: HA! Simple. No one is ever satisfied with anything. Let alone anything “simple”. That’s the biggest joke I’ve heard all day. You see all that suggestions for Seth nonsense? These people…
Katherine: Seth. I couldn’t give a damn about your wrestlers, okay? I don’t care about their suggestions, their shows, their titles or any of that crap. All I want from you is for you to grant me one small thing.
Seth: Which is what?
Katherine: I want you to make it so that I get to spend lots and lots and lots and LOTS of time with Joey Flash. You can do that for me, right?
A smile grew on Seths face, which almost turned into a slight laugh.
Seth: All you want is for me to make it so that you spend more time with Joey Flash? That’s all? You don’t want a title shot? Or to be placed in some kind of position you don’t even deserve to be in in the first place? All you want is…
Katherine: Shut up, Seth! Yes that is ALL I want. Are you going to make it happen or what?
Seth: Alright fine, next week on Slam I’ll put you and Joey Flash in another tag match. It’ll be you and Joey Vs Howard “I’m not fighting women” Black and that new girl I’ve not slept with yet. That reminds me, hold all my calls.
Excitedly Katherine bounced up and down as she pushed herself up out of the chair and headed around the desk and towards the office door.
Katherine: See Seth. We can work together. Didn’t even need to threaten you this time. I dare say this may even be the start of a beautiful relationship. Business only of course, no girl in her right mind would ever touch anything as disgusting as you you creepy freaking weirdo. Anywayyyyyyyyy I’ll see you later, Mr Boss Man. I can not WAIT to tell Joey the good news!
Katherine skipped out of the office, slamming the door behind her. She immediately ran down the hallway towards the locker rooms, knocking many backstage crew members out of the way until she came to a halt outside one particular room. A massive grin spread over Katherines face as she pushed down the door handle and entered the room as if she was a polar bear sneaking up on its pray. The locker room of course belonged to Katherines favorite WCF superstar, Joey Flash. The door swung and crashed behind her as she entered the room. Joey immediately spun on the spot to face Katherine, who was still grinning like a Cheshire cat at her favorite wrestler.
Katherine: Honey I'm home.
Katherine continued to smile big at Joey, but he didn’t look happy. He didn’t look happy AT ALL.
Joey: What the fuck?
Katherines jaw dropped as she looked at Joey sternly.
Katherine: Whoa there Mr Dirt Mouth! Mind your language. What if the kids heard you?
Joey: What kids? What the fuck are you talking about you fucking psycho?
Katherine rolled her eyes and sighed a bit before looking back at Joey smiling again.
Katherine: J-Joeyyyyyy are you trying to hurt my feelings with such mean words? You know they say that boys only do that when they like the girl. Do you like me Joey? Hmmmmm? Do you want to make out behind the bike sheds? We should totally do that! It'd be fun!
Joey: You better tell me what the hell you want before I hurt you worse than I just did earlier.
Katherine: Pfffffft don't be so silly! You didn't hurt me earlier... We just fooled around in the ring for a bit that's all. Besides, I like it rough. You know that you ruggedly handsome guy you!
Joey: I'm going to give you to the count of three.
Katherine: What happens at three Joey? Is that when the surprise party commences? Will there be balloons? And cake? And a clown? It’s not a party without a clown, Joey. And no I don’t want the clown to be Gemini. That guy is so boring he’d put all the guests to sleep with his… whatever it is he does.
Joey: One...
Katherine ignored Joey and just crossed her arms looking extremely stubborn.
Katherine: If I was a toddler I'd be super impressed right now. You know how to count to one... Congratulations!
Joey: Two...
A smile cracked her lips, despite trying to look all serious and moody.
Katherine: Oh oh look at that! He just upped his game to two! What's going to come next, Joey? Huh? Do you even know? Shall we press the magic button on the wall to reveal the number of the day?
Joey: Two and a half...
Katherine: Can you make it all the way to three JoJo? Hmmmmm? Can you? This right here is some exciting stuff! If I was sitting down I'd be on the edge of my seat! This would grip the nation more than who shot Mr Burns. You know what I mean?
Joey: I'm sick of this shit. Time to kill a psycho bitch. Three!
Katherine just stood her ground and shook her head still trying to look all serious and stubborn.
Katherine: Hmmmmmm I wouldn't do that if I were you, JoJo.
Joey Flash looked furious, he was so angry his face had turned a crimson red. Katherine couldn’t help but think about how cute he actually looked when he was all serious and moody like this. It was kind of adorable.
Joey: And why is that? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just end you right here and now you psychotic bitch.
Katherine: One good reason? Well Jeez there are LOADS of reasons, JoJo. What we need to decide upon here is which one would satisfy you the most, you ruggedly handsome beast you!
Joey: I swear to god if you don't get out of my locker room right now I'm going to fuck your shit up.
Katherine: Whoa, WHOA! What is with all this aggression? What ever happened to the JoJo who used to post cute pictures of animals everywhere huh? Didn't enough people want to see pictures of your cat? You can show me a picture of your cat if it makes you all soft and cute again JoJo. I don't mind.
Joey: I don't even have a fucking cat you psycho bitch. And stop calling me JoJo! My name is Joseph damnit!
Katherine: Joseph? The hell! Why are you calling yourself that now, JoJo? Ohhhhh I get it. You joined those vapor morons and they told you that Joey didn't sound tough enough. That's it isn't it. I bet they wanted you to change your name to something like Mitch or Tucker or something but you stood your ground, huh? You said "No ZMAC I will not change my name to Mitch! I like being called Joey it's cute! Just call me Joseph if you don't like Joey. Now, where is that lube?"
Joey stepped closer to Katherine, he looked like he was going to murder her… yet something stopped him from doing so. Katherine suspected that it was Joeys undying love for her which stopped him from hurting her, she was probably right.
Joey: Katherine I swear to god.
Katherine: Don't swear to god, JoJo. He might smite you if you do a thing like that, JoJo. And that'd just break my heart if that happened to you, JoJo. It really would, JoJo.
Joey: STOP CALLING ME JOJO GOD DAMNIT!!!
Whilst Joey was busy storming around his locker room like an angry gorilla Ducky Flash appeared on top of the television set at the back of the room. He always seemed to pop up when Katherine wanted nothing to do with him, yet she had to admit that he was always entertaining and funny despite her not wanting him to be.
Ducky Flash: Yeah! Stop calling him JoJo ya daft fuckin’ cunt bitch! Don't ya fuckin’ know who he is bitch tits! Shut ya fuckin’ mouth!
Katherine: Shut up Ducky! Get the hell out of here!
Joey: What did you just call me?
Katherine: Shut up JoJo I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Ducky. Don't interrupt.
Ducky Flash: Yeah don't interrupt ya fuckin’ asshole! I'll fuck ya mother right in her fat fuckin’ vagina!
Joey Flash had had just about enough of Katherines games. Anyone else in her position would be quite scared by now when Joey looked so threatening, yet Katherine just found it hilarious which just wound him up even more so.
Joey: Get the fuck out of my locker room Kathy! I will snap your fucking spine in half if you don't get out right fucking NOW!
Ducky Flash: Yeah!!! Get out right fuckin’ now ya daft bitch asshole!
Katherine: JoJo, JoJo. Calm down okay. You're going to ruin your cute image if you don't stop being such a bad mood bear.
Joey: I am not fucking cute!!! My name is Joseph! JOSEPH!!! Not fucking JoJo. And especially not Ducky! Stop that bullshit you crazy fucking whore!
As always Katherine just ignored the furious looking Joey Flash and seductively walked over towards his sofa, sitting down and making herself comfortable. Katherine put her feet up on the armrest and looked up at Joey, trying her hardest to look as sweet and innocent as possible.
Katherine: I think we both know that your name isn't Ducky, Joey. You don't even have wings! But Errrrrr... I don't get why you hate being cute nowadays. Why do you hate cuteness Joey? You aren't going to go on some kind of murderous rampage and exterminate millions of innocent daffodils are you? Because if that's what you have in mind you can think again mister! I'm sure Eve Vega or whatever her name is will stop you with her sugary flower power goodness! Or Errrrrr at least get her daddy to pay someone to stop you anyway. HA! Can you imagine if he paid me to stop you? Not that he could afford me of course... To get me to do something like that it'd cost him A LOT of cookies. You know what I'm saying JoJo?
Katherine sat up and grinned right at Joey, who actually looked like he was starting to calm down now. Most likely because he realized that being all angry here was getting him absolutely no where.
Joey: Seriously Katherine. Why are you in here? What do you want?
Katherine: Oh my god! Joey Flash actually managed to say something without swearing! Holy shit! Quick! Someone alert the media!
Katherine jumped out of the couch and ran over to the locker room door opening it and looking outside of the room. She located a single employee, a young man most likely in his early twenties. Unlike the rest of the crew he was wearing a weird Victorian looking outfit, an outfit Katherine had only ever seen on TV.
Katherine: Hey! You there boy! What day is this?
Man: Errrrrr today? Why today is Christmas day.
Katherine: Christmas day? What the hell?!
Joey leant to the side to see who Katherine was talking to but there was no one there, he knew better than to question this however as Katherine slammed the door in disgust and turned back to face Joey, who now looked extremely fed up.
Katherine: What a stupid asshole. Anyway where was I?
Joey: You were getting the fuck out of my locker room.
Ducky Flash: Yeah! You fat fuckin’ whore! Get the fuck out of his mother fuckin’ cock suckin’ locker room! Bitch tits!
Katherine: Whoa. WHOA!!! YOUR locker room? I think you mean OUR locker room, Joey. We're a team. There is no I in team, Joey. Honestly! Talk about being rude!
Joey: What the fuck are you talking about.
Katherine: What am I talking about? What am I talking about? Didn't I tell you? We're tag team partners this week hunny! Surprise! Yayyyyy!!!
Joey: You have got to be fucking kidding me...
Katherine: Would it make you feel any better if I was just kidding about that?
Joey: Fuck yes...
Katherine: Oh... Then I guess you're going to be miserable all week. But don’t you worry your little cotton socks about it, Joey. I am a master at turning frowns upside down! We will have you back to your old smiley self in no time at all.
Joey: Please kill me now.
Seeing that Joey was down Katherine walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Joey immediately threw it away and looked at her in disgust.
Katherine: Cheer up Pinkie Pie. Everything will be alright, you’ll see.
Joey: You touch me again and I’ll rip your fucking eyeballs out and shove them up your ass you crazy bitch.
Katherine: Joey, Joey…I know you’re pretending to be moody right now but I know that in your adorable little heart you’re all excited to hang out with me reallyyyyy. You know how I know that? Because I know if it wasn’t for me hanging out with you this week you’d have no choice but to go be with those Vapor losers and hold some weird little meeting or something and that just isn’t you, Joey. It isn’t you AT ALL. I could never join a group as boring and worthless as The Vapor Kings or Pantheon… being amongst that every day would make me want to throw myself off a bridge… or a cliff… whatever’s higher. So I know how you must feel, JoJo. I mean I don’t know if they kidnapped your cat and forced you to join them or what, but…
Joey: I don’t have a fucking cat.
Katherine: Yeah I know! Because it was kidnapped! Sheeshhhhhhh keep up Joey! But anyway yeah you and me, Joey. We are the same. I mean sure I’m better looking and far more talented and skilled in every single thing… but aside from that, we’re the same you and I. We are destined to team together and become the greatest tag team the WCF has EVER seen. You know that as well, right? Partner?
Joey: We are not the same.
Katherine: We are EXACTLY the same, Joey and you teaming with me will be far more fun than ANYTHING you could ever do with the vapor kings.
Joey: Even killing you with the vapor kings? Because that would be pretty fun. Listen are we seriously teaming up this week? I swear to fucking god if you’re bullshitting me here I will lose my shit.
Katherine: I am dead serious, JoJo, yep. We’re teaming together this week. Isn’t it GREAT?!
Katherine bounced on the spot for a bit as she grinned into Joeys handsome face.
Joey: Seriously? What the fuck! What the fuck was that asshole Seth Lerch thinking! For fucks sake!
Katherine: Ummmmmmm… he was probably thinking “Sure! I’d love to put you in a team with Joey Flash to face Eve Vega and Howard Black. Thanks for not hurting me, Katherine”. The guys truly got a way with words. It’s simply beautiful stuff.
Joey: Wait… fucking what?!
Katherine: Nothing, Joey. Forget I said anything. You probably imagined it. Hell you’re probably imagining this whole conversation right now. That’s quite an imagination you’ve got there, hunny.
Joey: You fucking requested this match?
Katherine: Ummmmmmmm… I didn’t NOT request this match.
Joey: Oh for fucks sake. So for the whole fucking week I need to baby sit some psycho bitch?
Katherine: Don’t you just love it?
Joey: No. This is complete bullshit.
Katherine: Joeyyyyyyyy you don’t need to keep playing hard to get you’ve already won me over.
Joey sighed as he looked at Katherine, who was so disgustingly happy about this situation that it almost made him feel sick.
Joey: Fucking fine. What do you want then? You want to discuss the match? Tactics? What?
The smile on Katherines face grew larger than Joey had ever seen it before. The brunette bounced up and down on the spot excitedly as Joey just rolled his eyes at her.
Katherine: You really want me to plan the day out?
Joey: Yeah, whatever.
Katherine: Oh my god… oh my god… oh my godddddddd! Joeyyyyyyy! You’ve just made me like the most happiful girl EVER!!!
Katherine reached into her bra and brought out a little sparkly purple note pad with matching pen. She quickly scanned through the book, and eventually came to a list she had already written out. A long list of things to do with Joey, most of which not wrestling or match related whatsoever.
Katherine: Okay so first I think we should go ice skating, then after that we should eat a whole tub of raw cookie dough as fast as possible… go on a nice romantic date, have you buy me flowers and chocolates… and then go back to your hotel room to… errrrrr… practice some new wrestling moves… whilst naked.
Joey: What?! Fucking give me that!
Joey snatched the notepad out of Katherines hands and scanned through the list briefly, disgusted. Fed up Joey threw the book across the room much to Katherines annoyance.
Katherine: Hey!
Joey: We are not doing any of those things! Especially not the last one. I am engaged to be married, Kathy.
Katherine: Uh hmmmmm… WERE engaged to be married.
Joey: What?!
Katherine: Nothing.
Joey: Seriously though I am not doing any of that stuff you just named. Fuck that shit. You really want to tag with me this Sunday? You better get your shit together… and fast.
Katherine sighed as she looked at Joey disappointed.
Katherine: Okay fineeeeee… what do you want to do?
Joey: Oh I don’t know. How about actually fucking work on our match? You know like most normal fucking wrestlers do before they get in the ring…
Katherine: I don’t even know where to begin correcting you there, Joey. But if that’s really what my lovely boyfriend wants to do…
Joey: I am not your fucking boyfriend.
Katherine: Okay fine! If that’s really what my lovely PARTNER wants to do, then we will do it. Only if I get to pick the location though.
Katherine innocently smiled into Joeys face hoping that he’d at least let her do this.
Joey: And we’ll actually work on our fucking match?
Katherine: Yes! I pinky promise swear!
Joey: Okay fine then. Whatever.
Katherine: Yayyyyyyy!
Joey: I preferred you when you weren’t all… happy.
Without any warning Katherine grabbed Joey around his wrist and dragged him out of his locker room, closing the door behind them.
Several hours had passed since Katherine had pretty much dragged Joey out of the WCF arena. Joey had at first thought that Katherine was taking him to some kind of gym or perhaps an empty wrestling arena to prefect their craft, but he soon realized that he was wrong… he was very very wrong. Stupidly Joey had let Katherine drive not knowing how bad she was at it. She had almost flipped the car several times and had come close to running many pedestrians over as she drove them to her desired location. They had somehow arrived in one piece and entered the building Katherine had done most of her wrestling training in, a nearby fast food restaurant called Billys. Ignoring Joeys constant complaining about god knows what, Katherine grabbed a box of crayons and a load of kids menus and sat down in her favorite booth, Joey begrudgingly sat down opposite her.
Katherine: So anyway I said “Get the fuck off of my lawn you fucking hippies! If I wanted to take some drugs I’d break into the old folks home and steal some good shit off of that dinosaur Oblivion!” You should have seen their faces, Joey. It was just beautiful, beautiful stuff.
By now Joey Flash looked like he was about ready to kill himself, as Ducky Flash sat happily on the table listening to Katherines every word.
Joey: What the FUCK are you even talking about? Where did that come from?!
Ducky Flash: Where the fuck did you come from you ugly mother fucking ASSHOLE?!
Katherine: I really wish you two would just get on, you’re more alike than you think.
Joey looked like he was about to say something mean or rude as one of the fat ugly waitresses approached their table with a little notepad in her greasy looking hands. Joey did not look comfortable here whatsoever. Katherine continued to color in the pictures with her crayons as Joey just sat there looking miserable as he always did.
Waitress: What can I get for ya darlin’?
Joey: Do I look like the kind of cheap mother fucker who eats this greasy fucking shit? Get the fuck outta here.
Ducky Flash: Yeah! Get the fuck outta here ya dumb fuckin’ whore! Ain’t no duck got time for your shit ya fat ugly bitch!
Katherine looked between Joey and Ducky with her mouth open shocked at what they had just said to the poor woman.
Katherine: You’re going to have to ignore my friends, Cindy. They’re both just moody because they got sand in their vaginas or something. It’s not your fault you’re a fat ugly worthless maggot bitch. Now run along to that kitchen back there and do not return until you bring me back my fucking milkshake! A strawberry one!
Waitress: Do you want cream?
Katherine: Do I look like the kind of asshole who doesn’t want cream on their milkshake?! Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit you useless fucking whore. Go fetch me my milkshake! NOW!!!
Ducky Flash just looked at Katherine wiping a single tear away from his feathery yellow face as the waitress ran away to prepare Katherines milkshake.
Ducky Flash: I am so proud, Kathy. Ya rug munchin’ bitch!
Katherine just continued to color in her pictures ignoring Ducky.
Katherine: You sure you don’t want to color in some of these pictures, Joey? I find it helps…
Joey: Helps with what? Wasting my mother fucking time?!
Ducky Flash: Yeah! Stop wasting our mother fuckin’ time you stupid fuckin’ bitch!
Katherine: Waste your time? How am I doing that?
Joey: Oh I don't know, I'd say bringing us to this shit hole instead of actually doing anything fucking match related is a pretty big waste of my fucking time!
Ducky Flash: Fuckin' asshole shit bastard butt fuckin' CLOWN!!!
Katherine: Oh so you think this is a waste of time? All of this? Everything I've done with you tonight? None of it is match related whatsoever? Really? Reallyyyyyy? You absolutely certain about that Mr Cranky Pants?
Joey: How the fuck is coming to this shit hole and drawing fucking pictures with crayons on some stupid fucking kids menus helping us as a team? How the fuck is that going to help us win our match?
Katherine burst out laughing as she dropped her crayons and rolled them across the table. What Joey had just said was perhaps the funniest thing she had heard all day.
Katherine: Joey, Joey... It's about time you learnt to have some patience hunny.
Before Katherine could continue lecturing Joey, the waitress once again approached their table and placed the strawberry milkshake down in front of her, nervously. Katherine immediately shot her an evil glance as the waitress scurried away.
Katherine: About fucking time you useless fucking bitch! Honestly what the fuck do I pay these people for?!
Joey: Didn't you just say that I had to learn to be patient?
Katherine ignored Joey as she began to suck on her curly straw which she had pulled out from her bra. She eventually looked back up at Joey, strawberry milkshake dripping down the sides of her mouth.
Katherine: See this right here, Joey, is a perfect example of just why I have a far better legacy than you in the WCF and I always will. Your greatest and only career highlight is holding the television championship... A title I won and held when I was an adorable little rookie. I didn't care much of the title though, I mostly used it as a mirror. It was shiny, can you really blame me? But yeahhhhhh... You've held one title... I've held three different ones. Therefore you should really be listening to me and doing as I say, okay? Good!
Joey attempted to cut Katherine off but Ducky simply raised his adorable little yellow wing and placed it in front of Joey's mouth silencing him.
Katherine: See I'm well aware of the fact that people think that I am the weak link in this match of ours, JoJo. They think that you will carry us to victory... They think that you are better than me... Stronger than me and far more talented and skilled than me. No one... NO ONE thinks that I am good enough to beat these idiots we'll be facing on my own. Why? I don't know. You tell me. But they do, Joey. Even this idiot over here!
Katherine grabbed a nearby kid and pulled him over to their table. The kid was obviously extremely startled and quite scared as he looked into Katherines crazed face.
Katherine: I bet even you think that I'm not good enough to beat those idiots on my own don't you!
Kid: I... W--what? I don't even know who you are lady...
Katherine dropped the kid and turned her attention back onto Joey Flash, who remained fully engrossed with what she had to say.
Katherine: See that? Un-fucking-believable. But you see, Joey. Despite people thinking that I am incapable of looking after myself or fighting my own battles... They're wrong. They're very very very wrong. You know why we came here? To waste our time as you put it? For that there is one very simple explanation, Joey. A explanation which I guarantee will blow your fucking mind. And that is simply the fact that to win this fight all we must do is wait. Sit back, have a drink, eat a cookie and just wait for the tick tock to move along until it hits a certain point in time in which we win simply by having fun elsewhere. And I know what you're thinking, Joey. You're looking at me thinking "what the fuck is this drop dead gorgeous girl taking about? Holy fucking shit I just want to make mad passionate love to her" and I get that. And for the that you'll just have to wait.
Ducky Flash: I'm really starting to think that this fuckin' bitch is just mother fuckin' crazy
Katherine: So how do we win just by waiting around for time to pass? Hmmmmmm? Can you work that one out all by yourself, JoJo? Come on its not hard, you can do it I know you can. You don't have a clue do you? Not a fucking clue? Jeeeeez okay fine I'll just tell you dumdum. How will we win if we just wait? Because if we wait long enough those idiots we're facing will just run off with their tails between their stupid little legs anyway. See I've seen it a million and one times in all different aspects of life whether in a wrestling company or in an ice cream shop. Some idiot comes in and talks as much trash as they possibly can to desperately try and get a bit of attention and what happens, huh? Does the world go "Oh my god they said something totally unthinkable! We should all bow down to our new great and powerful master!"? Ummmmm nope. What actually happens?
Ducky Flash: Some fuckin' duck fucks their fat bitch of a mother until they run away crying like the pathetic fuckin' cunt munchin' asshole that they fuckin' well are?
Katherine: Errrrrr not quite, but yeah something like that. What happens is they get laughed out of the building, Joey. They think that everyone is going to remember them when they're gone because of what they said or attempted to do... But in reality they're just forgotten about because no one wants to remember a pathetic little asshole who ran his mouth for attention only to leave soon after because they realized that they couldn't back up their fucking words or do anything worthwhile or memorable. It's really quite sad. So to go back onto what you said before, Joey. No we are not wasting or time right now... All we're doing is enjoying ourselves whilst waiting for those two pathetic little bitches who call themselves wrestlers to just do the world a favor and leave... thus giving us an extremely easy victory and allowing us to spend good quality time together without a care in the world.
Katherine drank a bit more of her milkshake as Ducky Flash clapped his wings happily for her agreeing with everything she had just said.
Ducky Flash: Eve Vega is a fat fuckin' whore anyway. The only useful fuckin' thing about that bitch is her gettin' down on her fuckin' knees and givin' me a duck job. The ugly fuckin' bitch!
Katherine: Hahaha oh god. Don't even get me started on that bubble gum bitch. You know though really I should be thanking her. I am dead serious, Ducky. I really should. You know why? Because pathetic little bubble gum rainbow princesses like her ALWAYS keep me entertained. They make me laugh, they really do. I've known a lot of blonde bubble gum bitches in my time and each one has been just as cringe worthy as the next. Their whole... niceness thing which they portray, as entertaining as it may be... Is complete and utter bullshit. They come into my world thinking "I know I'll make myself all bubble gummy and maybe even dye my hair blonde... People will like me then. I will get a lot of fans and that way I will become a big name and will not just be known as a talentless slut even though it is most definitely true!" hahaha see that is exactly what Eve is doing right now... And that is exactly what I've seen from every bubble gum bitch who have come and gone before her. You know what Eve Vega is, Ducky? Eve Vega is nothing but a spoiled fucking whore who is far too used to getting what she wants. She's like a fucking desperate housewives reject bitch who can't stand on her own two fucking feet because her dear old dad has supported her and given her whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. Did you get a pony on your sweet sixteenth birthday, Ducky?
Ducky Flash: Hell fuckin' no. If some daft cunt gave me a fuckin' pony I'd punch the stupid asshole right in his ugly fuckin' face!
Katherine: Hahaha exactly! Yet Eve walks around with her daddy's money in her back pocket like it's somehow supposed to be impressive or something. You know what it is? It's fucking pathetic! It's like should I be congratulating this stupid blonde whore because she's had a better upbringing than me? Is that what she wants? I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll take her fucking money, set fire to that shit just to show her how fucking pathetic it really is... and then send my boot crashing though her pretty little skull! But you know you'd think that with all her daddys money, he'd have a little more sense. Did his advisors not warn him what stepping into the ring with me would end up doing to his little girl? I mean sure he can cheer her on as much as he likes and wish Lil Evie all the luck in the world. But the fact of the matter is... When she steps into the ring with me the only thing which will cheer at the end of the day will be his cheque book. Eve stepping into the ring with me is like sending a lone cub scout into a lions den and somehow expecting them to walk out alive. I am going to tear Eve Vega to shreds and make her wish that she had stuck by her dreams of becoming an actress or whatever crap that plastic blonde haired whore dreamed of becoming. Fact of the matter is, if she really wants to stick around in the WCF she will just have to accept the fact that the only thing she'll ever be good at is getting down on her hands and knees backstage and oh how proud dear old dad will be of her then. But I just want to make one thing clear right now, Ducky. As fun as it would be to completely and utterly destroy Eve Vega and injure her so much that she would never be able to compete again... I'm not going to do that. Why? Because watching her fail each and every week is just way too damn funny! This Sunday Evie will be going face to face with the world's greatest female fighter and when the bell rings she will soon find out just why I am called that. And unfortunately for her, no matter how hard she may try... that fact will not be changing any time soon!
Ducky Flash excitedly clapped his adorable little yellow wings together for Katherine as she took another mouthful of her milkshake, which by now had started to get quite warm.
Ducky Flash: Good fuckin' shit ya ugly fuckin' cunt. Now do that mother fuckin' asshole Howard fuck tard Black!
Katherine: Do Howard Black? Ha! What is there to say about that idiot? I mean where do I even begin with that sorry excuse for a human being? The guy is here for what? Less than a month and he's already said something so ridiculous he's turned the whole locker room against him, not because he's a good villain but because he's a fucking retard. I mean what? What does he think? That he's above women? Is too good to fight us? That he's too big and tough for us to handle him? Is that what he thinks, Ducky? You know what I think? I think that that is the biggest load of crap I've heard since Eve Vega thought being a daddy's girl bitch was something to be proud of. You want to know the REAL truth about Howard Black, Ducky? The real truth is this... The guy saw my name on the roster, watched a couple of my matches and saw how fucking uncontrollable I was... And shit his fucking pants at the mere thought of facing me. That is the real truth to this matter. The guy is nothing but a gutless coward, nothing more, nothing less. He is so shit scared about what will happen to him when he faces me in the ring that he has attempted to put Seth off booking him against me and oh how quick that whole idea backfired on him.
Ducky Flash: That fuckin' bitch coward is scared to death of you Kathy ya worthless fuckin' slut!
Katherine: See I've faced many men like Howard Black before, Ducky. These guys who had great pasts and came into my world thinking that they were the greatest gift to the universe. And what happened? Each and every one of them got the living hell beaten out of them and they all ran away like the scared little bitches that they always were. Howard needs to realize that I don't give a shit about what he did in the past, I never will. The only thing which Howard Black needs to concern himself with is what is going to happen to him in the future. And luckily for him he won't even need to wait too long to find out. Howard Black's future will hit him dead in his ugly fucking face this week on Slam when I break the weak little bitch in half and then the world can all be highly entertained when they witness him run off crying because he got his ass kicked by me, a woman. Boo fucking hoo, Howard. Let me know when I'm ever supposed to give a damn about that worthless piece of trash okay, Ducky? Good stuff!
Katherine finished off the last mouthful of her milkshake as Ducky Flash continued to cheer for her.
Ducky Flash: I bet those fuck tard assholes are shitting their fuckin' pants at the mere thought of facin' you, Kathy, ya ugly fuckin' bitch whore!
Katherine: Yep exactly! And so you see Joey whether we are sat here enjoying a nice drink or working out in the gym like a couple of crazy people... the end result will always be the same. That pathetic piece of shit announcer in the ring will raise my hand and say, "here is your winner and STILL the greatest female fighter to ever step foot in the ring... Katherine Phoenix!"
Ducky Flash cheered loudly for the brunette as she stood up from the table. Joey Flash was no longer there and Katherine wasn't sure how long he had been gone, all she knew was everyone sitting around her were staring at her in awe... That or they were wondering who the crazy girl was who had been talking to herself for the past half an hour.
Jim Harrison
“Don't let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you're crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you're lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you're greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn't understand.”
Robert G. Allen
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
Weihui Zhou
Beauty and the Duck
---------------------------
This was it, the feeling she had been searching for since she had come here to the WCF. She felt odd… a weird warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach like she had swallowed some suspicious substance which had turned her tummy into some kind of warm luxurious wonderland only she could enjoy. The truth was of course that Katherine only felt like this because she had been in a match with a man she had been quite frankly obsessed with since the day she had laid eyes on him. She didn’t know why but for some reason something about Joey Flash made her feel like she was home… a sensation she was unfamiliar with. Katherine sat back in her chair playing with her long brunette hair as she placed her feet up on a desk in front of her. Katherine was wearing a leather mini skirt, fishnet tights, black leather boots and an extremely tight white vest top. Katherine continued to play with her hair as her friend and companion, Ducky Flash, walked over the desk top looking at her with a smile on his face… or beak. Whatever.
Ducky Flash: For some fat fuckin’ bitch who just lost her god damn asshole match you sure do seem happy today, you fat fuckin’ whore.
Katherine: Oh I happiful, Ducky. I am EXTREMELY happiful. You know why? Because today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Ducky Flash: First day of the rest of your life? What the fuck does that mean ya silly bitch.
Katherine: I’ll be damned if I know, Ducky. I heard it once on TV and thought it sounded cool. But then I also heard that Trix were for kids on TV and that right there is BULLSHIT cos I enjoy a good bowl of Trix and I sure as hell am NOT a kid. And don’t you even say that I am just to try and get a reaction out of me, Ducky. Cos it isn’t going to work! Not today! Today is just wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too good of a day for me to be Grrrrrrr no matter what you do to try and piss me off!
Ducky Flash: What if I fuck your fat fuckin’ bitch whore of a mother? Would you be pissed off then you daft fuckin’ asshole?
Katherine burst out laughing as she shook her head at the little yellow duck stood up in the center of the desk.
Katherine: No, Ducky. I wouldn’t even be pissed off then. Besides… I don’t have a mother. You know that.
Ducky Flash: What the fuck do you mean you haven’t got a mother? You some kinda freak fuck test tube baby or some shit?
Katherine was about to tell the annoying little duck off as the office door began to open. Katherine jumped a little as she sat back in the chair trying to make herself look as cool as possible, her feet still up on the desk.
Katherine: Play it cool, Ducky. Play it cool. This shit right here is just about to get interesting.
Finally after what seemed like forever Seth Lerch finally stepped into the office, which was obviously his and not Katherines. Seth immediately saw that Katherine was sat in his chair and looked to be quite annoyed, but managed to keep it under control somewhat remembering what had happened to him the last time the two of them had met… what with Katherine holding a blade to his neck and all.
Seth: Lilith. What the hell are you doing in my office!
Katherine: Whoa… WHOA!!! Your office? I didn’t see your name on it!
Seth immediately opened the office door and pointed at the name plate, which clearly said “Seth Lerch – Owner” on it.
Seth: It’s right there. So don’t give me that bullshit.
Ducky Flash: Holy shit! That fuckin’ asshole just said a bad word, someone alert those soft fucking assholes in the media or some shit!
Katherine: Hahahahaha! Yeah you’re right, Ducky. You can always tell when Seth is really annoyed because he looks like he’s just wet himself. He probably needs a hug or something. Maybe you should go hug him, you’re all cuddly and stuff.
Ducky Flash: Me hug that fuck tard? Hell fuckin’ no. No bread crumbs in the world would be enough to make me hug that fat fuck.
Katherine: Bread crumbs?
Ducky Flash: Yeah it’s what us ducks use as currency. Ten fuckin’ bread crumbs to punch this ugly fuck in the mouth kinda shit, ya know?
Katherine: Hahahaha right, right. That makes sense I guess.
Seth looked at Katherine confused as she appeared to continue to talk to herself.
Seth: Look Lilith…
Katherine: My name isn’t Lilith, it’s Katherine. Katherine Phoenix. The worlds greatest female fighter.
Seth: Whatever. What are you doing in my office? Get your feet off of my desk! Do you know how hard it is to keep this thing looking all shiny like that?
Katherine didn’t move, or even consider moving. She simply remained in the exact same position ignoring everything Seth just said. Katherine casually pointed to the chair in front of the desk as she continued being oblivious of Seths mood.
Katherine: Take a seat, Seth.
Seth: No! You get out of my chair!
Katherine: Seth, Seth… we can play who’s chair is who’s all day long or we can get down to business. Wouldn’t you rather do the latter? I could hold a knife to your throat again… you seem to listen better that way? Would you prefer that?
Seth stood and considered his options for a while, eventually deciding to just sit down in front of the desk.
Seth: What do you want, Lilith?
Katherine sighed as she stared at the man, anger boiling within her.
Katherine: How many times do I need to tell you that my name is Katherine! For gods sake, Seth. Do you EVER fucking listen?!
Ducky Flash: Break his fuckin’ neck, the ignorant asshole! That’ll show him! The fuck tard!
Katherine: Shut up Ducky! SETH!!! Listen. There is only one thing I want, I wa---
Seth: Want what? Ownership of my company? That’s all anyone ever wants. They’re all jealous of what I have.
Katherine: First of all if you ever cut me off again I’ll shove this pen down your throat… and secondly no, I do not want or care about your company. What I want is simple.
Seth: HA! Simple. No one is ever satisfied with anything. Let alone anything “simple”. That’s the biggest joke I’ve heard all day. You see all that suggestions for Seth nonsense? These people…
Katherine: Seth. I couldn’t give a damn about your wrestlers, okay? I don’t care about their suggestions, their shows, their titles or any of that crap. All I want from you is for you to grant me one small thing.
Seth: Which is what?
Katherine: I want you to make it so that I get to spend lots and lots and lots and LOTS of time with Joey Flash. You can do that for me, right?
A smile grew on Seths face, which almost turned into a slight laugh.
Seth: All you want is for me to make it so that you spend more time with Joey Flash? That’s all? You don’t want a title shot? Or to be placed in some kind of position you don’t even deserve to be in in the first place? All you want is…
Katherine: Shut up, Seth! Yes that is ALL I want. Are you going to make it happen or what?
Seth: Alright fine, next week on Slam I’ll put you and Joey Flash in another tag match. It’ll be you and Joey Vs Howard “I’m not fighting women” Black and that new girl I’ve not slept with yet. That reminds me, hold all my calls.
Excitedly Katherine bounced up and down as she pushed herself up out of the chair and headed around the desk and towards the office door.
Katherine: See Seth. We can work together. Didn’t even need to threaten you this time. I dare say this may even be the start of a beautiful relationship. Business only of course, no girl in her right mind would ever touch anything as disgusting as you you creepy freaking weirdo. Anywayyyyyyyyy I’ll see you later, Mr Boss Man. I can not WAIT to tell Joey the good news!
Katherine skipped out of the office, slamming the door behind her. She immediately ran down the hallway towards the locker rooms, knocking many backstage crew members out of the way until she came to a halt outside one particular room. A massive grin spread over Katherines face as she pushed down the door handle and entered the room as if she was a polar bear sneaking up on its pray. The locker room of course belonged to Katherines favorite WCF superstar, Joey Flash. The door swung and crashed behind her as she entered the room. Joey immediately spun on the spot to face Katherine, who was still grinning like a Cheshire cat at her favorite wrestler.
Katherine: Honey I'm home.
Katherine continued to smile big at Joey, but he didn’t look happy. He didn’t look happy AT ALL.
Joey: What the fuck?
Katherines jaw dropped as she looked at Joey sternly.
Katherine: Whoa there Mr Dirt Mouth! Mind your language. What if the kids heard you?
Joey: What kids? What the fuck are you talking about you fucking psycho?
Katherine rolled her eyes and sighed a bit before looking back at Joey smiling again.
Katherine: J-Joeyyyyyy are you trying to hurt my feelings with such mean words? You know they say that boys only do that when they like the girl. Do you like me Joey? Hmmmmm? Do you want to make out behind the bike sheds? We should totally do that! It'd be fun!
Joey: You better tell me what the hell you want before I hurt you worse than I just did earlier.
Katherine: Pfffffft don't be so silly! You didn't hurt me earlier... We just fooled around in the ring for a bit that's all. Besides, I like it rough. You know that you ruggedly handsome guy you!
Joey: I'm going to give you to the count of three.
Katherine: What happens at three Joey? Is that when the surprise party commences? Will there be balloons? And cake? And a clown? It’s not a party without a clown, Joey. And no I don’t want the clown to be Gemini. That guy is so boring he’d put all the guests to sleep with his… whatever it is he does.
Joey: One...
Katherine ignored Joey and just crossed her arms looking extremely stubborn.
Katherine: If I was a toddler I'd be super impressed right now. You know how to count to one... Congratulations!
Joey: Two...
A smile cracked her lips, despite trying to look all serious and moody.
Katherine: Oh oh look at that! He just upped his game to two! What's going to come next, Joey? Huh? Do you even know? Shall we press the magic button on the wall to reveal the number of the day?
Joey: Two and a half...
Katherine: Can you make it all the way to three JoJo? Hmmmmm? Can you? This right here is some exciting stuff! If I was sitting down I'd be on the edge of my seat! This would grip the nation more than who shot Mr Burns. You know what I mean?
Joey: I'm sick of this shit. Time to kill a psycho bitch. Three!
Katherine just stood her ground and shook her head still trying to look all serious and stubborn.
Katherine: Hmmmmmm I wouldn't do that if I were you, JoJo.
Joey Flash looked furious, he was so angry his face had turned a crimson red. Katherine couldn’t help but think about how cute he actually looked when he was all serious and moody like this. It was kind of adorable.
Joey: And why is that? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just end you right here and now you psychotic bitch.
Katherine: One good reason? Well Jeez there are LOADS of reasons, JoJo. What we need to decide upon here is which one would satisfy you the most, you ruggedly handsome beast you!
Joey: I swear to god if you don't get out of my locker room right now I'm going to fuck your shit up.
Katherine: Whoa, WHOA! What is with all this aggression? What ever happened to the JoJo who used to post cute pictures of animals everywhere huh? Didn't enough people want to see pictures of your cat? You can show me a picture of your cat if it makes you all soft and cute again JoJo. I don't mind.
Joey: I don't even have a fucking cat you psycho bitch. And stop calling me JoJo! My name is Joseph damnit!
Katherine: Joseph? The hell! Why are you calling yourself that now, JoJo? Ohhhhh I get it. You joined those vapor morons and they told you that Joey didn't sound tough enough. That's it isn't it. I bet they wanted you to change your name to something like Mitch or Tucker or something but you stood your ground, huh? You said "No ZMAC I will not change my name to Mitch! I like being called Joey it's cute! Just call me Joseph if you don't like Joey. Now, where is that lube?"
Joey stepped closer to Katherine, he looked like he was going to murder her… yet something stopped him from doing so. Katherine suspected that it was Joeys undying love for her which stopped him from hurting her, she was probably right.
Joey: Katherine I swear to god.
Katherine: Don't swear to god, JoJo. He might smite you if you do a thing like that, JoJo. And that'd just break my heart if that happened to you, JoJo. It really would, JoJo.
Joey: STOP CALLING ME JOJO GOD DAMNIT!!!
Whilst Joey was busy storming around his locker room like an angry gorilla Ducky Flash appeared on top of the television set at the back of the room. He always seemed to pop up when Katherine wanted nothing to do with him, yet she had to admit that he was always entertaining and funny despite her not wanting him to be.
Ducky Flash: Yeah! Stop calling him JoJo ya daft fuckin’ cunt bitch! Don't ya fuckin’ know who he is bitch tits! Shut ya fuckin’ mouth!
Katherine: Shut up Ducky! Get the hell out of here!
Joey: What did you just call me?
Katherine: Shut up JoJo I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Ducky. Don't interrupt.
Ducky Flash: Yeah don't interrupt ya fuckin’ asshole! I'll fuck ya mother right in her fat fuckin’ vagina!
Joey Flash had had just about enough of Katherines games. Anyone else in her position would be quite scared by now when Joey looked so threatening, yet Katherine just found it hilarious which just wound him up even more so.
Joey: Get the fuck out of my locker room Kathy! I will snap your fucking spine in half if you don't get out right fucking NOW!
Ducky Flash: Yeah!!! Get out right fuckin’ now ya daft bitch asshole!
Katherine: JoJo, JoJo. Calm down okay. You're going to ruin your cute image if you don't stop being such a bad mood bear.
Joey: I am not fucking cute!!! My name is Joseph! JOSEPH!!! Not fucking JoJo. And especially not Ducky! Stop that bullshit you crazy fucking whore!
As always Katherine just ignored the furious looking Joey Flash and seductively walked over towards his sofa, sitting down and making herself comfortable. Katherine put her feet up on the armrest and looked up at Joey, trying her hardest to look as sweet and innocent as possible.
Katherine: I think we both know that your name isn't Ducky, Joey. You don't even have wings! But Errrrrr... I don't get why you hate being cute nowadays. Why do you hate cuteness Joey? You aren't going to go on some kind of murderous rampage and exterminate millions of innocent daffodils are you? Because if that's what you have in mind you can think again mister! I'm sure Eve Vega or whatever her name is will stop you with her sugary flower power goodness! Or Errrrrr at least get her daddy to pay someone to stop you anyway. HA! Can you imagine if he paid me to stop you? Not that he could afford me of course... To get me to do something like that it'd cost him A LOT of cookies. You know what I'm saying JoJo?
Katherine sat up and grinned right at Joey, who actually looked like he was starting to calm down now. Most likely because he realized that being all angry here was getting him absolutely no where.
Joey: Seriously Katherine. Why are you in here? What do you want?
Katherine: Oh my god! Joey Flash actually managed to say something without swearing! Holy shit! Quick! Someone alert the media!
Katherine jumped out of the couch and ran over to the locker room door opening it and looking outside of the room. She located a single employee, a young man most likely in his early twenties. Unlike the rest of the crew he was wearing a weird Victorian looking outfit, an outfit Katherine had only ever seen on TV.
Katherine: Hey! You there boy! What day is this?
Man: Errrrrr today? Why today is Christmas day.
Katherine: Christmas day? What the hell?!
Joey leant to the side to see who Katherine was talking to but there was no one there, he knew better than to question this however as Katherine slammed the door in disgust and turned back to face Joey, who now looked extremely fed up.
Katherine: What a stupid asshole. Anyway where was I?
Joey: You were getting the fuck out of my locker room.
Ducky Flash: Yeah! You fat fuckin’ whore! Get the fuck out of his mother fuckin’ cock suckin’ locker room! Bitch tits!
Katherine: Whoa. WHOA!!! YOUR locker room? I think you mean OUR locker room, Joey. We're a team. There is no I in team, Joey. Honestly! Talk about being rude!
Joey: What the fuck are you talking about.
Katherine: What am I talking about? What am I talking about? Didn't I tell you? We're tag team partners this week hunny! Surprise! Yayyyyy!!!
Joey: You have got to be fucking kidding me...
Katherine: Would it make you feel any better if I was just kidding about that?
Joey: Fuck yes...
Katherine: Oh... Then I guess you're going to be miserable all week. But don’t you worry your little cotton socks about it, Joey. I am a master at turning frowns upside down! We will have you back to your old smiley self in no time at all.
Joey: Please kill me now.
Seeing that Joey was down Katherine walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Joey immediately threw it away and looked at her in disgust.
Katherine: Cheer up Pinkie Pie. Everything will be alright, you’ll see.
Joey: You touch me again and I’ll rip your fucking eyeballs out and shove them up your ass you crazy bitch.
Katherine: Joey, Joey…I know you’re pretending to be moody right now but I know that in your adorable little heart you’re all excited to hang out with me reallyyyyy. You know how I know that? Because I know if it wasn’t for me hanging out with you this week you’d have no choice but to go be with those Vapor losers and hold some weird little meeting or something and that just isn’t you, Joey. It isn’t you AT ALL. I could never join a group as boring and worthless as The Vapor Kings or Pantheon… being amongst that every day would make me want to throw myself off a bridge… or a cliff… whatever’s higher. So I know how you must feel, JoJo. I mean I don’t know if they kidnapped your cat and forced you to join them or what, but…
Joey: I don’t have a fucking cat.
Katherine: Yeah I know! Because it was kidnapped! Sheeshhhhhhh keep up Joey! But anyway yeah you and me, Joey. We are the same. I mean sure I’m better looking and far more talented and skilled in every single thing… but aside from that, we’re the same you and I. We are destined to team together and become the greatest tag team the WCF has EVER seen. You know that as well, right? Partner?
Joey: We are not the same.
Katherine: We are EXACTLY the same, Joey and you teaming with me will be far more fun than ANYTHING you could ever do with the vapor kings.
Joey: Even killing you with the vapor kings? Because that would be pretty fun. Listen are we seriously teaming up this week? I swear to fucking god if you’re bullshitting me here I will lose my shit.
Katherine: I am dead serious, JoJo, yep. We’re teaming together this week. Isn’t it GREAT?!
Katherine bounced on the spot for a bit as she grinned into Joeys handsome face.
Joey: Seriously? What the fuck! What the fuck was that asshole Seth Lerch thinking! For fucks sake!
Katherine: Ummmmmmm… he was probably thinking “Sure! I’d love to put you in a team with Joey Flash to face Eve Vega and Howard Black. Thanks for not hurting me, Katherine”. The guys truly got a way with words. It’s simply beautiful stuff.
Joey: Wait… fucking what?!
Katherine: Nothing, Joey. Forget I said anything. You probably imagined it. Hell you’re probably imagining this whole conversation right now. That’s quite an imagination you’ve got there, hunny.
Joey: You fucking requested this match?
Katherine: Ummmmmmmm… I didn’t NOT request this match.
Joey: Oh for fucks sake. So for the whole fucking week I need to baby sit some psycho bitch?
Katherine: Don’t you just love it?
Joey: No. This is complete bullshit.
Katherine: Joeyyyyyyyy you don’t need to keep playing hard to get you’ve already won me over.
Joey sighed as he looked at Katherine, who was so disgustingly happy about this situation that it almost made him feel sick.
Joey: Fucking fine. What do you want then? You want to discuss the match? Tactics? What?
The smile on Katherines face grew larger than Joey had ever seen it before. The brunette bounced up and down on the spot excitedly as Joey just rolled his eyes at her.
Katherine: You really want me to plan the day out?
Joey: Yeah, whatever.
Katherine: Oh my god… oh my god… oh my godddddddd! Joeyyyyyyy! You’ve just made me like the most happiful girl EVER!!!
Katherine reached into her bra and brought out a little sparkly purple note pad with matching pen. She quickly scanned through the book, and eventually came to a list she had already written out. A long list of things to do with Joey, most of which not wrestling or match related whatsoever.
Katherine: Okay so first I think we should go ice skating, then after that we should eat a whole tub of raw cookie dough as fast as possible… go on a nice romantic date, have you buy me flowers and chocolates… and then go back to your hotel room to… errrrrr… practice some new wrestling moves… whilst naked.
Joey: What?! Fucking give me that!
Joey snatched the notepad out of Katherines hands and scanned through the list briefly, disgusted. Fed up Joey threw the book across the room much to Katherines annoyance.
Katherine: Hey!
Joey: We are not doing any of those things! Especially not the last one. I am engaged to be married, Kathy.
Katherine: Uh hmmmmm… WERE engaged to be married.
Joey: What?!
Katherine: Nothing.
Joey: Seriously though I am not doing any of that stuff you just named. Fuck that shit. You really want to tag with me this Sunday? You better get your shit together… and fast.
Katherine sighed as she looked at Joey disappointed.
Katherine: Okay fineeeeee… what do you want to do?
Joey: Oh I don’t know. How about actually fucking work on our match? You know like most normal fucking wrestlers do before they get in the ring…
Katherine: I don’t even know where to begin correcting you there, Joey. But if that’s really what my lovely boyfriend wants to do…
Joey: I am not your fucking boyfriend.
Katherine: Okay fine! If that’s really what my lovely PARTNER wants to do, then we will do it. Only if I get to pick the location though.
Katherine innocently smiled into Joeys face hoping that he’d at least let her do this.
Joey: And we’ll actually work on our fucking match?
Katherine: Yes! I pinky promise swear!
Joey: Okay fine then. Whatever.
Katherine: Yayyyyyyy!
Joey: I preferred you when you weren’t all… happy.
Without any warning Katherine grabbed Joey around his wrist and dragged him out of his locker room, closing the door behind them.
Several hours had passed since Katherine had pretty much dragged Joey out of the WCF arena. Joey had at first thought that Katherine was taking him to some kind of gym or perhaps an empty wrestling arena to prefect their craft, but he soon realized that he was wrong… he was very very wrong. Stupidly Joey had let Katherine drive not knowing how bad she was at it. She had almost flipped the car several times and had come close to running many pedestrians over as she drove them to her desired location. They had somehow arrived in one piece and entered the building Katherine had done most of her wrestling training in, a nearby fast food restaurant called Billys. Ignoring Joeys constant complaining about god knows what, Katherine grabbed a box of crayons and a load of kids menus and sat down in her favorite booth, Joey begrudgingly sat down opposite her.
Katherine: So anyway I said “Get the fuck off of my lawn you fucking hippies! If I wanted to take some drugs I’d break into the old folks home and steal some good shit off of that dinosaur Oblivion!” You should have seen their faces, Joey. It was just beautiful, beautiful stuff.
By now Joey Flash looked like he was about ready to kill himself, as Ducky Flash sat happily on the table listening to Katherines every word.
Joey: What the FUCK are you even talking about? Where did that come from?!
Ducky Flash: Where the fuck did you come from you ugly mother fucking ASSHOLE?!
Katherine: I really wish you two would just get on, you’re more alike than you think.
Joey looked like he was about to say something mean or rude as one of the fat ugly waitresses approached their table with a little notepad in her greasy looking hands. Joey did not look comfortable here whatsoever. Katherine continued to color in the pictures with her crayons as Joey just sat there looking miserable as he always did.
Waitress: What can I get for ya darlin’?
Joey: Do I look like the kind of cheap mother fucker who eats this greasy fucking shit? Get the fuck outta here.
Ducky Flash: Yeah! Get the fuck outta here ya dumb fuckin’ whore! Ain’t no duck got time for your shit ya fat ugly bitch!
Katherine looked between Joey and Ducky with her mouth open shocked at what they had just said to the poor woman.
Katherine: You’re going to have to ignore my friends, Cindy. They’re both just moody because they got sand in their vaginas or something. It’s not your fault you’re a fat ugly worthless maggot bitch. Now run along to that kitchen back there and do not return until you bring me back my fucking milkshake! A strawberry one!
Waitress: Do you want cream?
Katherine: Do I look like the kind of asshole who doesn’t want cream on their milkshake?! Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit you useless fucking whore. Go fetch me my milkshake! NOW!!!
Ducky Flash just looked at Katherine wiping a single tear away from his feathery yellow face as the waitress ran away to prepare Katherines milkshake.
Ducky Flash: I am so proud, Kathy. Ya rug munchin’ bitch!
Katherine just continued to color in her pictures ignoring Ducky.
Katherine: You sure you don’t want to color in some of these pictures, Joey? I find it helps…
Joey: Helps with what? Wasting my mother fucking time?!
Ducky Flash: Yeah! Stop wasting our mother fuckin’ time you stupid fuckin’ bitch!
Katherine: Waste your time? How am I doing that?
Joey: Oh I don't know, I'd say bringing us to this shit hole instead of actually doing anything fucking match related is a pretty big waste of my fucking time!
Ducky Flash: Fuckin' asshole shit bastard butt fuckin' CLOWN!!!
Katherine: Oh so you think this is a waste of time? All of this? Everything I've done with you tonight? None of it is match related whatsoever? Really? Reallyyyyyy? You absolutely certain about that Mr Cranky Pants?
Joey: How the fuck is coming to this shit hole and drawing fucking pictures with crayons on some stupid fucking kids menus helping us as a team? How the fuck is that going to help us win our match?
Katherine burst out laughing as she dropped her crayons and rolled them across the table. What Joey had just said was perhaps the funniest thing she had heard all day.
Katherine: Joey, Joey... It's about time you learnt to have some patience hunny.
Before Katherine could continue lecturing Joey, the waitress once again approached their table and placed the strawberry milkshake down in front of her, nervously. Katherine immediately shot her an evil glance as the waitress scurried away.
Katherine: About fucking time you useless fucking bitch! Honestly what the fuck do I pay these people for?!
Joey: Didn't you just say that I had to learn to be patient?
Katherine ignored Joey as she began to suck on her curly straw which she had pulled out from her bra. She eventually looked back up at Joey, strawberry milkshake dripping down the sides of her mouth.
Katherine: See this right here, Joey, is a perfect example of just why I have a far better legacy than you in the WCF and I always will. Your greatest and only career highlight is holding the television championship... A title I won and held when I was an adorable little rookie. I didn't care much of the title though, I mostly used it as a mirror. It was shiny, can you really blame me? But yeahhhhhh... You've held one title... I've held three different ones. Therefore you should really be listening to me and doing as I say, okay? Good!
Joey attempted to cut Katherine off but Ducky simply raised his adorable little yellow wing and placed it in front of Joey's mouth silencing him.
Katherine: See I'm well aware of the fact that people think that I am the weak link in this match of ours, JoJo. They think that you will carry us to victory... They think that you are better than me... Stronger than me and far more talented and skilled than me. No one... NO ONE thinks that I am good enough to beat these idiots we'll be facing on my own. Why? I don't know. You tell me. But they do, Joey. Even this idiot over here!
Katherine grabbed a nearby kid and pulled him over to their table. The kid was obviously extremely startled and quite scared as he looked into Katherines crazed face.
Katherine: I bet even you think that I'm not good enough to beat those idiots on my own don't you!
Kid: I... W--what? I don't even know who you are lady...
Katherine dropped the kid and turned her attention back onto Joey Flash, who remained fully engrossed with what she had to say.
Katherine: See that? Un-fucking-believable. But you see, Joey. Despite people thinking that I am incapable of looking after myself or fighting my own battles... They're wrong. They're very very very wrong. You know why we came here? To waste our time as you put it? For that there is one very simple explanation, Joey. A explanation which I guarantee will blow your fucking mind. And that is simply the fact that to win this fight all we must do is wait. Sit back, have a drink, eat a cookie and just wait for the tick tock to move along until it hits a certain point in time in which we win simply by having fun elsewhere. And I know what you're thinking, Joey. You're looking at me thinking "what the fuck is this drop dead gorgeous girl taking about? Holy fucking shit I just want to make mad passionate love to her" and I get that. And for the that you'll just have to wait.
Ducky Flash: I'm really starting to think that this fuckin' bitch is just mother fuckin' crazy
Katherine: So how do we win just by waiting around for time to pass? Hmmmmmm? Can you work that one out all by yourself, JoJo? Come on its not hard, you can do it I know you can. You don't have a clue do you? Not a fucking clue? Jeeeeez okay fine I'll just tell you dumdum. How will we win if we just wait? Because if we wait long enough those idiots we're facing will just run off with their tails between their stupid little legs anyway. See I've seen it a million and one times in all different aspects of life whether in a wrestling company or in an ice cream shop. Some idiot comes in and talks as much trash as they possibly can to desperately try and get a bit of attention and what happens, huh? Does the world go "Oh my god they said something totally unthinkable! We should all bow down to our new great and powerful master!"? Ummmmm nope. What actually happens?
Ducky Flash: Some fuckin' duck fucks their fat bitch of a mother until they run away crying like the pathetic fuckin' cunt munchin' asshole that they fuckin' well are?
Katherine: Errrrrr not quite, but yeah something like that. What happens is they get laughed out of the building, Joey. They think that everyone is going to remember them when they're gone because of what they said or attempted to do... But in reality they're just forgotten about because no one wants to remember a pathetic little asshole who ran his mouth for attention only to leave soon after because they realized that they couldn't back up their fucking words or do anything worthwhile or memorable. It's really quite sad. So to go back onto what you said before, Joey. No we are not wasting or time right now... All we're doing is enjoying ourselves whilst waiting for those two pathetic little bitches who call themselves wrestlers to just do the world a favor and leave... thus giving us an extremely easy victory and allowing us to spend good quality time together without a care in the world.
Katherine drank a bit more of her milkshake as Ducky Flash clapped his wings happily for her agreeing with everything she had just said.
Ducky Flash: Eve Vega is a fat fuckin' whore anyway. The only useful fuckin' thing about that bitch is her gettin' down on her fuckin' knees and givin' me a duck job. The ugly fuckin' bitch!
Katherine: Hahaha oh god. Don't even get me started on that bubble gum bitch. You know though really I should be thanking her. I am dead serious, Ducky. I really should. You know why? Because pathetic little bubble gum rainbow princesses like her ALWAYS keep me entertained. They make me laugh, they really do. I've known a lot of blonde bubble gum bitches in my time and each one has been just as cringe worthy as the next. Their whole... niceness thing which they portray, as entertaining as it may be... Is complete and utter bullshit. They come into my world thinking "I know I'll make myself all bubble gummy and maybe even dye my hair blonde... People will like me then. I will get a lot of fans and that way I will become a big name and will not just be known as a talentless slut even though it is most definitely true!" hahaha see that is exactly what Eve is doing right now... And that is exactly what I've seen from every bubble gum bitch who have come and gone before her. You know what Eve Vega is, Ducky? Eve Vega is nothing but a spoiled fucking whore who is far too used to getting what she wants. She's like a fucking desperate housewives reject bitch who can't stand on her own two fucking feet because her dear old dad has supported her and given her whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. Did you get a pony on your sweet sixteenth birthday, Ducky?
Ducky Flash: Hell fuckin' no. If some daft cunt gave me a fuckin' pony I'd punch the stupid asshole right in his ugly fuckin' face!
Katherine: Hahaha exactly! Yet Eve walks around with her daddy's money in her back pocket like it's somehow supposed to be impressive or something. You know what it is? It's fucking pathetic! It's like should I be congratulating this stupid blonde whore because she's had a better upbringing than me? Is that what she wants? I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll take her fucking money, set fire to that shit just to show her how fucking pathetic it really is... and then send my boot crashing though her pretty little skull! But you know you'd think that with all her daddys money, he'd have a little more sense. Did his advisors not warn him what stepping into the ring with me would end up doing to his little girl? I mean sure he can cheer her on as much as he likes and wish Lil Evie all the luck in the world. But the fact of the matter is... When she steps into the ring with me the only thing which will cheer at the end of the day will be his cheque book. Eve stepping into the ring with me is like sending a lone cub scout into a lions den and somehow expecting them to walk out alive. I am going to tear Eve Vega to shreds and make her wish that she had stuck by her dreams of becoming an actress or whatever crap that plastic blonde haired whore dreamed of becoming. Fact of the matter is, if she really wants to stick around in the WCF she will just have to accept the fact that the only thing she'll ever be good at is getting down on her hands and knees backstage and oh how proud dear old dad will be of her then. But I just want to make one thing clear right now, Ducky. As fun as it would be to completely and utterly destroy Eve Vega and injure her so much that she would never be able to compete again... I'm not going to do that. Why? Because watching her fail each and every week is just way too damn funny! This Sunday Evie will be going face to face with the world's greatest female fighter and when the bell rings she will soon find out just why I am called that. And unfortunately for her, no matter how hard she may try... that fact will not be changing any time soon!
Ducky Flash excitedly clapped his adorable little yellow wings together for Katherine as she took another mouthful of her milkshake, which by now had started to get quite warm.
Ducky Flash: Good fuckin' shit ya ugly fuckin' cunt. Now do that mother fuckin' asshole Howard fuck tard Black!
Katherine: Do Howard Black? Ha! What is there to say about that idiot? I mean where do I even begin with that sorry excuse for a human being? The guy is here for what? Less than a month and he's already said something so ridiculous he's turned the whole locker room against him, not because he's a good villain but because he's a fucking retard. I mean what? What does he think? That he's above women? Is too good to fight us? That he's too big and tough for us to handle him? Is that what he thinks, Ducky? You know what I think? I think that that is the biggest load of crap I've heard since Eve Vega thought being a daddy's girl bitch was something to be proud of. You want to know the REAL truth about Howard Black, Ducky? The real truth is this... The guy saw my name on the roster, watched a couple of my matches and saw how fucking uncontrollable I was... And shit his fucking pants at the mere thought of facing me. That is the real truth to this matter. The guy is nothing but a gutless coward, nothing more, nothing less. He is so shit scared about what will happen to him when he faces me in the ring that he has attempted to put Seth off booking him against me and oh how quick that whole idea backfired on him.
Ducky Flash: That fuckin' bitch coward is scared to death of you Kathy ya worthless fuckin' slut!
Katherine: See I've faced many men like Howard Black before, Ducky. These guys who had great pasts and came into my world thinking that they were the greatest gift to the universe. And what happened? Each and every one of them got the living hell beaten out of them and they all ran away like the scared little bitches that they always were. Howard needs to realize that I don't give a shit about what he did in the past, I never will. The only thing which Howard Black needs to concern himself with is what is going to happen to him in the future. And luckily for him he won't even need to wait too long to find out. Howard Black's future will hit him dead in his ugly fucking face this week on Slam when I break the weak little bitch in half and then the world can all be highly entertained when they witness him run off crying because he got his ass kicked by me, a woman. Boo fucking hoo, Howard. Let me know when I'm ever supposed to give a damn about that worthless piece of trash okay, Ducky? Good stuff!
Katherine finished off the last mouthful of her milkshake as Ducky Flash continued to cheer for her.
Ducky Flash: I bet those fuck tard assholes are shitting their fuckin' pants at the mere thought of facin' you, Kathy, ya ugly fuckin' bitch whore!
Katherine: Yep exactly! And so you see Joey whether we are sat here enjoying a nice drink or working out in the gym like a couple of crazy people... the end result will always be the same. That pathetic piece of shit announcer in the ring will raise my hand and say, "here is your winner and STILL the greatest female fighter to ever step foot in the ring... Katherine Phoenix!"
Ducky Flash cheered loudly for the brunette as she stood up from the table. Joey Flash was no longer there and Katherine wasn't sure how long he had been gone, all she knew was everyone sitting around her were staring at her in awe... That or they were wondering who the crazy girl was who had been talking to herself for the past half an hour.