Post by Logan on Dec 20, 2013 14:45:13 GMT -5
Note: This televised promo was produced and written by Logan for the sole entertainment of WCF's fans. Hired actors portray different roles, the promo itself is mostly scripted, special effects along with cutting edge CGI are also on display, and no one is ever seriously hurt... or killed.
The Monday to Friday day time baby-momma talk show drama enjoyed by retirees and the unemployed and the call outs found it's way on practically any television screen that could not afford the luxury of cable, and therefor have something more intelligent and promising to view. Because granted if one had a broader selection of viewing choices, who would dare sit through an hour of mindless gibberish full of beeps and chicken necking. Seen them once, seen them all. Today's television set opened early morning, kicking off the talk show parade with Steve Baldy. His show differed a bit from the usual genres antics. He did not allow the guests to run the show and take up ten minutes of air time with censored beeps in between other slang. Steve's topics sometimes shed a light on situations much darker than the typical... who is the Daddy? Most would say he was a precise rip of another bald talk show host whom shared the same name, but that is either here nor now up for discussion, or for this matter - importance. The days show opened, subtitled with "Did you molest my daughter?"
Steve: My name is Steve.
He held the days cards by his side, standing alone an empty stage with a full audience behind them. Like clarified before, if people had the luxury of better viewing options, then why watch such garbage, or better yet... actually attend? Was it the dark subject matter of this show that differed from the other day time talk shows that attracted people? Did people, in general, like to hear about innocent children falling victims to sexually deprived family members? Judging from the pack filled room of attendees, it appeared so.
Steve: My first guest is Chester.
Upon cue, an overweight man in his mid-fifties appeared from the back of the stage and made his way down the stages steps. Some of the audience applauded. Chester settled center stage, eyeing Steve while he was addressed.
Steve: Chester, tell me why you are here.
Chester: I have been accused of molesting my stepson, FPV.
One individual of the audience in attendance let out a small burst of chuckling among the dead silent room. The cameras quickly panned to this individual, who was WCF's Hardcore Champion, Logan, before recentering the shot back onto Steve and Chester.
Steve: Who made these allegations?
Chester: FPV.
Steve: And...
The shows host studied his cards.
Steve: I understand that, FPV, is an adult now correct?
Chester: Yes.
Steve: And how old was he when these allegations first came to light?
Chester: It was last week.
Steve: And he called the show?
Chester: Yes.
It was an actor Logan hired to call the show, to portray himself as FPV.
Steve: I understand this happened when he was around six years old.
Chester: I don't know, Steve. I never touched that boy. I am just here to clear my name.
Steve: Let's go ahead and bring out FPV.
The rest of the audience clapped and applauded for FPV's courage to confront the man who may or may not have molested him as a boy. Logan, the only one in the audience doing so, stood and booed. A man in his mid-twenties, wearing a Draft Punk shirt, emerged from the back and rushed down the steps charging Chester. Steve's prepared security stepped in between the two, and eventually FPV calmed down enough to cease the attacking and let the host continue.
Steve: And FPV stands for... Frank Pretty Vagina?
FrankPrettyVagina: Yes. It's that bastards fault!
FPV shoved an angry finger into Chester's direction. The security tensed.
FrankPrettyVagina: It used to stand for something else, but ever since he touched me... and whispered in my ear every night before bed, telling me that my hairless rosebud resembled a pretty vagina, and that I was his pretty vagina. I can't get the words out of my head. It haunts me in my dreams even after I moved out of his house. Everywhere I go it's there. Because of him I keep it shaved back there now.
Steve: So why call yourself that?
FrankPrettyVagina: He said I would always be his pretty vagina, and now all these years later I adopted the name to make sure he never forgot what he has done to me. I can't help myself with it. It's taken over my life, Steve. I even reshoot other peoples promos now and use their exact dialogue only to change every other word to 'vagina'. It's all an effort, a nightmare, to make sure Chester never forgets.
Steve: And you were six when this happened?
FrankPrettyVagina: No. It happened a few months ago.
Steve: A few months ago?!
FrankPrettyVagina: Yes.
Steve: You're a grown man! Why not fight him off, call the authorities?
FrankPrettyVagina: I kinda liked it at first...
A collective gasp from the audience follows.
FrankPrettyVagina: But now it has to stop!
Chester: This is ridiculous.
FrankPrettyVagina: The foot is coming down. I will no longer be your pretty vagina.
The shows host, Steve, shakes his head. He looks mixed with confusion, humor, but a layer of seriousness covers him and keeps him from laughing. Steve resorted back to the cards.
Steve: Well, either way... I don't take a case of molestation lightly. So, let's get to the results, and find out the truth.
A producer hurried to Steve's side handing him an envelope enclosed with lie detector results.
Steve: Chester, you took a lie detector test, correct?
Chester: Yes.
Steve: We asked you two questions; did you sexually molest FPV? You answered no. Did you sexually force yourself on FPV? You answered no. And regarding those two questions, Chester, you...
Commercial break abruptly ended the results, cutting Steve's reveal short and forcing home viewers to light up another Virginia Slim and groan with agony. Upon returning, the lie detector results continued.
Steve: Chester... you did NOT tell the truth.
O's and other noises of discouragement fell from the audience packed room. Logan shook his head in utter disappointment. Chester reacted like any other guest that failed in the past. He was confused, shocked, as if the possibility of failing never entered his mind despite actually molesting his accuser. Security once again kept FPV from goomba stomping Chester, while Chester backed into the stages corner, in complete denial.
Chester: That isn't true. Give me another test!
FrankPrettyVagina: You play you pay you son of a bitch!
Steve: Hey! HEY! Let's not do anything stupid, Frank. The best thing you can do is get the police involved.
FrankPrettyVagina: FUCK THE POLICE!
The show ended in a mess. Steve's security restraining a bombarded FPV from Chester, while Logan sat calm in the sea of excited audience, eyeing Chester, with a simple grin stretched over his face.
Chester: I never molested that man. I never even met him before. You rigged those damn results didn't you?
Logan: Yes.
Chester: And that FPV... you hired him didn't you?!
Logan: Yes.
Chester: Why me? Why ruin my life on national television?!
Logan: Entertainment, Chester. People love it. I love it. And now... I shall avenge my old friend, FPV, and put you in your rightful place, by letting the very poison you have injected into an innocent life now be injected into yours - you will now be the one molested, by this golf club.
Chester: WHAT?!
The cameras opened to the top of a roof. Chester was tied down with rope and laying flat on his back a top the roofs surface. His hands were bound behind his back, his feet were pushed together and securely held together by rope as well, and Logan had now hovered himself over Chester's head, carefully pushing a tee into Chester's mouth, and taping that ball holder down tightly there - shutting up Chester in the process. The only door present on the roof opened, revealing Roy Speede as he stepped out onto the concrete with an odd expression upon seeing Logan and the way he displayed Chester.
Roy: Who is that?
Logan: Chester.
Roy: And why is he tied up with a golf tee taped in his mouth?
Logan: I'm making amends with FPV.
Having not seen the program earlier, Roy is still thoroughly confused. Logan noticed his confusion and decided to further explain.
Logan: This man, Chester, molested FPV in his younger years. He's a monster. He ruined FPV's life, and more than likely is the sole contributor to these little 'trust' issues FPV has. I figure by capturing this man and making an example of him, that FPV will see this - see that I avenged him, saved his childhood, and maybe then we can reconcile.
Roy: That's... thoughtful.
The Son of Treachery approached his Father's side, looking down at the bound Chester.
Roy: FPV was really molested, and by this man?
Beneath them, Chester squirmed, groaned underneath his sealed mouth and tried to shake his head from side to side in a disapproving manner. Logan sent a boot into Chester's side, effectively calming him down.
Logan: Yes. Yes he was.
Logan lied without a blink.
Roy: What do you plan to do with him?
Kneeling down beside Chester, Logan carefully planted a golf ball into the tee protruding from Chester's mouth. Logan shuffled through a bag next to him, and popped back to his feet beside Roy with two golf clubs in his hand.
Logan: What do you really think of FPV, Roy?
He said while handing Roy the driver.
Roy: It's complicated. May I?
Logan: All yours.
He stood over Chester's head, looking from Logan then down to the golf ball while steadying his stance.
Roy: He's really been acting like a big boudle lately.
Roy retracted the driver over his shoulder, swinging forward and into the teed ball, blasting it from Chester's face and from the roof top. Chester groaned out beneath the now bloodied tape that muffled his pain.
Logan: I couldn't agree more. Nice shot, Roy.
He shot a quick grin to his Father.
Roy: Thanks!
Now Logan stepped over Chester's head, not before placing another ball on the tee. He took stance, letting the end of the steel club rest on Chester's cheek while continuing his conversation with Roy.
Logan: Why do you think he included you in a contract to special referee our match?
Roy: H'm...
The club swung forward and Logan hit it out of the park, along with the tape, and one of Chester's front teeth. Chester let out a gasp of agony before closing his eyes and drifting into a forced sleep.
Roy: I don't know... I really don't.
Logan: Neither do I.
Roy and Logan watched the bloodied ball fly through the air and land onto another roof. The cameras faded.
The Monday to Friday day time baby-momma talk show drama enjoyed by retirees and the unemployed and the call outs found it's way on practically any television screen that could not afford the luxury of cable, and therefor have something more intelligent and promising to view. Because granted if one had a broader selection of viewing choices, who would dare sit through an hour of mindless gibberish full of beeps and chicken necking. Seen them once, seen them all. Today's television set opened early morning, kicking off the talk show parade with Steve Baldy. His show differed a bit from the usual genres antics. He did not allow the guests to run the show and take up ten minutes of air time with censored beeps in between other slang. Steve's topics sometimes shed a light on situations much darker than the typical... who is the Daddy? Most would say he was a precise rip of another bald talk show host whom shared the same name, but that is either here nor now up for discussion, or for this matter - importance. The days show opened, subtitled with "Did you molest my daughter?"
Steve: My name is Steve.
He held the days cards by his side, standing alone an empty stage with a full audience behind them. Like clarified before, if people had the luxury of better viewing options, then why watch such garbage, or better yet... actually attend? Was it the dark subject matter of this show that differed from the other day time talk shows that attracted people? Did people, in general, like to hear about innocent children falling victims to sexually deprived family members? Judging from the pack filled room of attendees, it appeared so.
Steve: My first guest is Chester.
Upon cue, an overweight man in his mid-fifties appeared from the back of the stage and made his way down the stages steps. Some of the audience applauded. Chester settled center stage, eyeing Steve while he was addressed.
Steve: Chester, tell me why you are here.
Chester: I have been accused of molesting my stepson, FPV.
One individual of the audience in attendance let out a small burst of chuckling among the dead silent room. The cameras quickly panned to this individual, who was WCF's Hardcore Champion, Logan, before recentering the shot back onto Steve and Chester.
Steve: Who made these allegations?
Chester: FPV.
Steve: And...
The shows host studied his cards.
Steve: I understand that, FPV, is an adult now correct?
Chester: Yes.
Steve: And how old was he when these allegations first came to light?
Chester: It was last week.
Steve: And he called the show?
Chester: Yes.
It was an actor Logan hired to call the show, to portray himself as FPV.
Steve: I understand this happened when he was around six years old.
Chester: I don't know, Steve. I never touched that boy. I am just here to clear my name.
Steve: Let's go ahead and bring out FPV.
The rest of the audience clapped and applauded for FPV's courage to confront the man who may or may not have molested him as a boy. Logan, the only one in the audience doing so, stood and booed. A man in his mid-twenties, wearing a Draft Punk shirt, emerged from the back and rushed down the steps charging Chester. Steve's prepared security stepped in between the two, and eventually FPV calmed down enough to cease the attacking and let the host continue.
Steve: And FPV stands for... Frank Pretty Vagina?
FrankPrettyVagina: Yes. It's that bastards fault!
FPV shoved an angry finger into Chester's direction. The security tensed.
FrankPrettyVagina: It used to stand for something else, but ever since he touched me... and whispered in my ear every night before bed, telling me that my hairless rosebud resembled a pretty vagina, and that I was his pretty vagina. I can't get the words out of my head. It haunts me in my dreams even after I moved out of his house. Everywhere I go it's there. Because of him I keep it shaved back there now.
Steve: So why call yourself that?
FrankPrettyVagina: He said I would always be his pretty vagina, and now all these years later I adopted the name to make sure he never forgot what he has done to me. I can't help myself with it. It's taken over my life, Steve. I even reshoot other peoples promos now and use their exact dialogue only to change every other word to 'vagina'. It's all an effort, a nightmare, to make sure Chester never forgets.
Steve: And you were six when this happened?
FrankPrettyVagina: No. It happened a few months ago.
Steve: A few months ago?!
FrankPrettyVagina: Yes.
Steve: You're a grown man! Why not fight him off, call the authorities?
FrankPrettyVagina: I kinda liked it at first...
A collective gasp from the audience follows.
FrankPrettyVagina: But now it has to stop!
Chester: This is ridiculous.
FrankPrettyVagina: The foot is coming down. I will no longer be your pretty vagina.
The shows host, Steve, shakes his head. He looks mixed with confusion, humor, but a layer of seriousness covers him and keeps him from laughing. Steve resorted back to the cards.
Steve: Well, either way... I don't take a case of molestation lightly. So, let's get to the results, and find out the truth.
A producer hurried to Steve's side handing him an envelope enclosed with lie detector results.
Steve: Chester, you took a lie detector test, correct?
Chester: Yes.
Steve: We asked you two questions; did you sexually molest FPV? You answered no. Did you sexually force yourself on FPV? You answered no. And regarding those two questions, Chester, you...
Commercial break abruptly ended the results, cutting Steve's reveal short and forcing home viewers to light up another Virginia Slim and groan with agony. Upon returning, the lie detector results continued.
Steve: Chester... you did NOT tell the truth.
O's and other noises of discouragement fell from the audience packed room. Logan shook his head in utter disappointment. Chester reacted like any other guest that failed in the past. He was confused, shocked, as if the possibility of failing never entered his mind despite actually molesting his accuser. Security once again kept FPV from goomba stomping Chester, while Chester backed into the stages corner, in complete denial.
Chester: That isn't true. Give me another test!
FrankPrettyVagina: You play you pay you son of a bitch!
Steve: Hey! HEY! Let's not do anything stupid, Frank. The best thing you can do is get the police involved.
FrankPrettyVagina: FUCK THE POLICE!
The show ended in a mess. Steve's security restraining a bombarded FPV from Chester, while Logan sat calm in the sea of excited audience, eyeing Chester, with a simple grin stretched over his face.
CHESTER THE MOLESTER
Chester: I never molested that man. I never even met him before. You rigged those damn results didn't you?
Logan: Yes.
Chester: And that FPV... you hired him didn't you?!
Logan: Yes.
Chester: Why me? Why ruin my life on national television?!
Logan: Entertainment, Chester. People love it. I love it. And now... I shall avenge my old friend, FPV, and put you in your rightful place, by letting the very poison you have injected into an innocent life now be injected into yours - you will now be the one molested, by this golf club.
Chester: WHAT?!
The cameras opened to the top of a roof. Chester was tied down with rope and laying flat on his back a top the roofs surface. His hands were bound behind his back, his feet were pushed together and securely held together by rope as well, and Logan had now hovered himself over Chester's head, carefully pushing a tee into Chester's mouth, and taping that ball holder down tightly there - shutting up Chester in the process. The only door present on the roof opened, revealing Roy Speede as he stepped out onto the concrete with an odd expression upon seeing Logan and the way he displayed Chester.
Roy: Who is that?
Logan: Chester.
Roy: And why is he tied up with a golf tee taped in his mouth?
Logan: I'm making amends with FPV.
Having not seen the program earlier, Roy is still thoroughly confused. Logan noticed his confusion and decided to further explain.
Logan: This man, Chester, molested FPV in his younger years. He's a monster. He ruined FPV's life, and more than likely is the sole contributor to these little 'trust' issues FPV has. I figure by capturing this man and making an example of him, that FPV will see this - see that I avenged him, saved his childhood, and maybe then we can reconcile.
Roy: That's... thoughtful.
The Son of Treachery approached his Father's side, looking down at the bound Chester.
Roy: FPV was really molested, and by this man?
Beneath them, Chester squirmed, groaned underneath his sealed mouth and tried to shake his head from side to side in a disapproving manner. Logan sent a boot into Chester's side, effectively calming him down.
Logan: Yes. Yes he was.
Logan lied without a blink.
Roy: What do you plan to do with him?
Kneeling down beside Chester, Logan carefully planted a golf ball into the tee protruding from Chester's mouth. Logan shuffled through a bag next to him, and popped back to his feet beside Roy with two golf clubs in his hand.
Logan: What do you really think of FPV, Roy?
He said while handing Roy the driver.
Roy: It's complicated. May I?
Logan: All yours.
He stood over Chester's head, looking from Logan then down to the golf ball while steadying his stance.
Roy: He's really been acting like a big boudle lately.
Roy retracted the driver over his shoulder, swinging forward and into the teed ball, blasting it from Chester's face and from the roof top. Chester groaned out beneath the now bloodied tape that muffled his pain.
Logan: I couldn't agree more. Nice shot, Roy.
He shot a quick grin to his Father.
Roy: Thanks!
Now Logan stepped over Chester's head, not before placing another ball on the tee. He took stance, letting the end of the steel club rest on Chester's cheek while continuing his conversation with Roy.
Logan: Why do you think he included you in a contract to special referee our match?
Roy: H'm...
The club swung forward and Logan hit it out of the park, along with the tape, and one of Chester's front teeth. Chester let out a gasp of agony before closing his eyes and drifting into a forced sleep.
Roy: I don't know... I really don't.
Logan: Neither do I.
Roy and Logan watched the bloodied ball fly through the air and land onto another roof. The cameras faded.
