Post by raYne on Nov 26, 2013 18:39:56 GMT -5
Well, I noticed this section... and, I dunno if this would be allowed, but I thought I may as well see if I can get some of my guys involved. You know... involved with getting their asses kicked. :3 I have a one-man project called World Sports Entertainment [Get the Wrestling OUT!] ... and here is the FULL roster, including the tag teams. Do what you will with them... it'd just be a delight to see them used to push the talent in the fed. ^.^
There's like... 77 of 'em, btw... Annnd, I would LOVE to write matches with them, putting over their opponents of course. My characters are born jobbers. ^___^
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StupidStars
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"Drunk Ass", Austin Stevens > From: Hickston, Texas / Theme: "Whiskey Hangover", Godsmack
Favorite Drink: Ice Cold Beer. The Official Fuel of Drunken, Redneck, White-Trash Wife Beaters! / Catchphrase : Git 'R Did!!! ... WHAT?!
Image: Tight "Strangler's" jean shorts... flannel vest... white wife-beater [fits him to a tee]... belt w/ ridiculously oversized buckle... duct taped wrists... no shoes... a bald head, and a gruff beard.
Wrestling Style: Punch, Kick, DRUNK ASS DROP~!!! 1, 2, 3... / Finishing Move: Drunk Ass Drop [spits beer in foe's face, kick to the nuts, stunner, sending foe bouncing around like a ping pong ball]
About: Lived most of his life in a trailer park, watching "wrasslin" ravenously each and every week. When he found out there was a wrestling company that required no talent whatsoever, he was immediately on board! But when TNA turned him down, he decided to make due with the newly opened World Sports Entertainment. Was one of the first men to "make his name" in WSE in the first year of its existence. Left for a while, but decided to come back at the start of the second year. Nobody knows why the hell he'd do a stupid thing like that...
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"The Critics' Champion" HollyRocky > From: Hollywood, Samoa / Theme: "Hollywood", Madonna
Image: Black track pants with white pin stripes down the sides... a black crew cut... a black t-shirt with the name "HollyRock" emblazoned across the front in the style of the "Hollywood" sign.
Wrestling Style: All flash, no substance. Not a positive description, by any means, but still... / Finishing Moves: The Box Office Bomb [razor's edge]
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"The Chain Gang Souljah Boi", John Semen > From: The Mean Streets of Nancee Boi, Rhode Island
Theme: "Basik Ekonomix", MC IRS / Image: A white dude with tons of "bling" and not a clue in sight...
Wrestling Style: White. Whiter than El Taco and Jippy Jam combined. Yet not as white as Sucka T. Even though Sucka's black. ... Yeah, it's complicated.
Finishing Moves: The Fuck You [FU] ... The Shut the Fuck Up [STFU] / About: He's Vanilla Ice... only whiter, and less talented. Plus, he says "poopie"... A lot. That's pretty much him in a nutshell.
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"The Rated PG Stupid Star", Nickey Mowse > From: Disney World Land / Theme: "It's a Small World Land", The Goof Troop
Image: Has buck-teeth, and long, brown hair... Wears a hat which is black with mickey mouse-like ears... big, yellow gloves... red shorts with yellow buttons... plain, black t-shirt... big, floppy, yellow bowling shoes.
Wrestling Style: Fun for all ages / Finishing Move: The Mowse Trap [ddt into fall out faceplant]
About: Mowse is a spokesperson for Disney, which happens to host WTF?! programming. He constantly tries to make the product more suitable for "the children".
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Maxwell "Viruz" Gates > From: Silicon Valley / Theme: "Internet Killed the Video Star", The Limousines / Image: Long, blonde hair, pulled back in a ponytail... Lime-green, shimmering, knee-length shorts [ala paul london & brian kendrick], w/ black trimming around the waist, and a black 'V' on the side of either leg... black knee pads, black boots w/ lime green lacing... lime green wrist tape, black fingerless satin gloves, & a black, fish-net tank top showing off his abs.
Wrestling Style: l33t! Just like his m@dd hax0ring skillz. I.E. - Technically-sound Techie / Finishers: The DataDriver [vertebreaker] ... Viruz Skan [dragon sleeper] ... The Fatal Error [hooks arms of opponent in pedigree position while standing on the second turnbuckle, pulls opponent up to the second turnbuckle while he heads to the top, and then hits a flip pedigree, driving their face into the mat.] ... Illegal Download [laptop shot]
About: Previously donning a Hayabusa-esque mask under the name "Viruz", Max was one of the three men Jack Hoff personally "took out" in his quest to retain the WSE Title. Max returned to the WSE ring under the Viruz persona to continue dishing out laptop shots, and to some day claim the WSE title... until his true calling became clear. To remove the mask, return to his real name of Maxwell Gates, to create his own video gaming system [The X-Station Wii60]... and to return to WSE to dish out shots with his video game system! Oh... and to perhaps claim the WSE Title. After Mac folded WSE, Maxwell continued to create buzz with the X-Station Wii60... but he still felt the urge to dish out his beloved console system shots to opponents' heads. He called up THE Mac, letting him know that with a few loans from his X-Station business venture, he could help bring Mac's company back into business... Mac was excited, and eager to make it a reality.
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Axl VanHalen > From: Sinister City, Utah / Theme: "Welcome to the Jungle", Guns N' Roses / Image: He looks like a hair metal, glam rocker. 'Nuff said.
Wrestling Style: HARD ROCKiN'~!!1one ... in other words, he's a brawler who can't wrestle for crap. :3 / Finishers: Welcome to the Jungle [rock bottom] ... The LoveGun [superkick] ... The Crue Cutter [twist of fate] ... Back in Black [stunner]
About: Axl is a former hair metal glam god, front man for the little known band, Gunnzzz And YoYozzz [or, GaYY]... the ONLY cardboard record selling artist in music history! Which... means they only sold one copy. And that was to Axl's deaf grandmother... And both Axl and Reeve made their entrance into WSE as a replacement commentary team for Rex Rivers and Wes Rivers. They soon became THE Mac Bry's henchmen in the original mWo... As "The InsideOutsiders", Axl and Reeve basically did Bry's dirty work. But eventually, just as Mac had replaced Wes and Rex on commentary with them? He soon replaced THEM with Sucka T and Maxwell Gates in his mWo, dubbing Sucka and Max the NEW InsideOutsiders. And so, when Mac brought back WSE with the help of Maxwell, Reeve & Ax' knew they would have to forge an alliance, once again, to seek revenge. This was the beginning of WCWF v2 vs mWo 2.0 : The battle lines had been drawn! But then, of course, Mac was like "screw that noise, I'mma go watch Degrassi!", and so Jack Hoff took over. And then Mac decided to take back WSE and have Axl and Reeve join THE mWo for old time's sake. And then Ax' & Reeve started arguing with one another, struck out on their own, and... here we are. ^_^
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Kruzifix, w/ Evil Betty > From: Dimension of Doom, Oregon
Theme: "The Dope Show", Marilyn Manson
Image: Kruz has long, flowing, crimson red hair... wears a black leather, sleeveless, hooded trenchcoat to the ring... black face mask cut off above the nose... black leather, fingerless, biker gloves... fingernails painted black... black, legless spandex with an upside down, silver crucifix printed across the crotch... Black boots with crismon laces... always wears a silver necklace with an upside down crucifix pendant. You know, the usual good little Christian-boy get-up. ...
Wrestling Style: Darkness... brooding... and a buncha brawlin' / Finishing Move: The Krown of Thorns [spike ddt]
About: Arriving toward the beginning of WSE's existence, Kruzifix returned one year later, January 31st, 2010... at the Disney Channel debut of Nitro. He is more focused, more powerful... and his speeches are even more indecipherable than EVER before! As Kruz says... "Listen thitherly... for thee hast thou been thus DESTROYED... by the dementia of thine Destrucity~!!!". Constantly spouting off such nonsensical gibberish such as this, it quickly becomes apparent why the man from "The Dimension of Doom" has become a bit of an outcast in his lifetime. Kruzifix is a broodly brooding brooder, who broods... broodishly. And he's EVIL~!!!1 Because he lives in a graveyard... or something. ... Fear him and his darkly dark emoetry!!! ... Oh, and he brought in the most evil wrestling manager of ALL time!!! ... as long as we're only talking about male wrestling managers named 'Betty'. 'Cuz Betty White is like satan incarnate, but she's female. ... RARRR!!!
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Zorlax Firling > From: Downtown Astrolomega, the Urban Empire of Planet Q-Bert / Theme: "Intergalactic", Beastie Boys
Image: An orange head shaped like an upside down egg... orange body... large, pure black eyes... a clear, glowing red dome atop his head, used to transmit exterior readings into brain waves. Four, long, bony orange fingers on all four hands [yes, four. one on each arm, two arms on both side of body]. Oh, and he is always seen in torn jeans and t-shirts sporting the logos of the most current Astrolomegan Grunjal Rock Bands. Did we mention he's one of Astrolomega's many Tankoria Boarders?
Wrestling Style: OUT OF THIS WORLD! Yep, I know... lame... / Finishing Move: Deep Space Grind [leaps onto board, soars through air, before hopping, board held over his knees and hitting a variation of the codebreaker]
About: Zorlax hails from a galaxy far, far away in the outer reaches of some other universe. But, the planet he calls home is much like our Earth. Many different locations spread across the world... but his particular locale bears a striking resemblence to that of the United States of America. Loathed by the rest of his world, and the very city he lives in being very much like a New York or Los Angeles... only, in Astrolomega, EVERYONE's an alien! ... Except to eachother. Because then they're local. ... Nevermind.
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Goo the Adventurer > From: Hyperbolithica / Theme: "Hero", Nickelback
Image: Has medium length, brown hair, cut at the neck... Wears a light blue head band... dark blue, sleeveless tunic, with long sleeved, white shirt underneath... brown belt with silver buckle... white tights... brown, leather boots.
Wrestling Style: Heroic Underdog. Which means he gets beat up a bunch, then comes back and wins with one move. / Finishing Move: The Tri-Force Splash [450]
About: A great disturbance presented itself within the land of Hyperbolithica many years ago, in the form of an evil wizard known only as 'Disgruntledorf'. The evil wizard overthrew the king, and took the throne for himself. Disgrunteldorf turned everyone into his minions, except for an 18 year old kid by the name of Goo, who was lucky enough to escape. Goo found himself in WSE, looking for the one thing that could possibly free his friends and family from the spell which has been cast upon them... as well as the one thing that would give him the strength to overcome Disgruntledorf... a magical, mystical treasure known only as "THE Belt". ... But now he finds himself in WTF. ... So Hyperbolithica's pretty much screwed.
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"The All-Around All-Star Athlete", Luscious Melancholy Nasdaq Oxford Porterhouse > From: The Field of Dreams / Theme: "Jam", Michael Jackson
Image: A tall and lean, athletic looking black man with dreadlocks... always seen wearing various sports outfits, as he fancies himself a HUUUGE sports star, with the catchphrase, "Just DO IT!!!"
Wrestling Style: Damned good, just like every other sport he gets his hands into. / Finishing Move: Nike Air [shooting star press]
About: LMNOP has always been an athletically gifted young man... except for the fact that he isn't. In reality, LMNOP has really always been in a video game nut, obsessed with becoming as great as the sports icons he plays as on his X-Station Wii60. But, he has been lucky enough to grow pretty tall, stay pretty lean, and LOOK athletic... albeit having the skill, ability, and talent of Eric Cartman. WTF?! has found ITs 'MVP'.
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Captain Crap > From: Ocean Valley Harbor Ridge Beach Bay Citytropolis / Theme: "Kryptonite", 3 Doors Down
Image: A dude in a shit brown superhero costume. Plus, his weapon of choice is the 'Go Go, Action Plunger!'. Which protects him from... toilet clogs...
Wrestling Style: Shitty. ... HA! / Finishing Moves: The Poop Shoot [running bicycle kick] ... Kryptonite Krunch
About: Born Jack Franklin in the small suburb of Tootie Frootie, Idaho, he fled to the planet Krazy-a-ton to escape the oppresion of his parents. You see, they didn't allow him to watch the Super Friends due to its violent content, and due to them being strict Christians who didn't believe in such things [and you think YOUR parents are strict, sheesh...]. Jack changed his name to Clark Wayne, and underwent a process by which he had a spider bite him that was filled with radioactive juices. But, not knowing that radioactive spiders really don't give super powers, believing that all comic books are real [They're works of FICTION? You don't say!] Jippy was STILL a complete and total loser. Only now he had a bad rash. And he smelled like ass. Not that he didn't smell that way BEFORE the spider bite, just thought I'd throw that in there.
So, he moved back to Earth to find a place he could fit in... He spent a long, long time in Ocean Valley Harbor Ridge Beach Bay Citytropolis. There, Clark Wayne found his home under attack quite often by giant monsters, known as the Meninsuits. Wayne knew it was up to him to finally take on his role as super hero... and though he didn't have powers, he DID have his trusty Big Bad Walking Robo Turd! He vowed to take out the Meninsuits, in 30 minute weekly episodes. But, when his show was cancelled, he took his trusty Robo Turd, and headed to the only place crappier than he himself... By day, Clark Wayne works as a grocery boy for a dollar store in Citytropolis. By night, Captain Crap wrestles in cheap tights and a crappy cape!!! ... Which alter ego is "better", I have no idea.
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"The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit", Gruel Renshaw > From: The Octagon / Theme: "Mama's Gonna Knock Me Out", JJ Mynuz
Image: Gruel has a long, gruff, dirty, unkempt, unwashed, grizzly beard... bald head... no shirt... long, dark grey shorts... taped hands and feet... tatoos of all sorts of mean, nasty things all over his body... and no teeth.
Wrestling Style: Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit. Think Tank Abbot... only if he had been hit by a mac truck and forgot how to fight entirely. / Finishing Move: k.U.o [knockYOUout]
About: He's mean. He's nasty. He's BAD! And he's the ULTIMATE Chickenshit! A former MMA Champion... in Ethiopia... Renshaw made a trek to America for the greener pastures of UFC. Found out he sucked when compared to guys that can actually, you know... FIGHT. So, one call to Mr. Hoff later, "The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit" is in World Sports Entertainment, and ready to get KO'd the F'O!!! And after WSE closed up shop, Gruel made the long, arduous trek to the WCWF!!! ... And then WTF?!, I suppose.... Don't call it a comeback.
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"The Next Best Thing" Brock Hendrix > From: Lesnar, Kentucky / Theme: "Take A Picture", Filter / Finishing Move: The F-69 [death valley driver]
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Daniel Bryan Danielson > From: Albino, Washington / Theme: "Pretty Fly For a White Guy.", The OffSpring / Finishing Move: The White Boy Wheelie [irish whip foe, roll up into single leg boston crab]
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straitEdge > From: Above You / Theme: "Young Blood", The Naked and Famous / Finishing Move: Drug Free Driver [piledriver from top rope]
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"KYJ", Kris Y. Jeriko > From: The Lube Station / Theme: "Jiffy Boy", Wax / Finishing Move: The Lubricator [lion tamer]
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"The Samoan RestHold Factory", Joe-Kishi-Maga-Zuna > From: The Isle of Orton / Theme: "Loser", Beck / Finishing Move: ChinLock, HeadLock or BearHug [pick one]
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"The Big RedNosed Klown" Francis, w/ Rigor "Dat Dam Ded [3D]" Mortis & JuggyLow > From: The Dark Karnival / Theme: "Psycho Circus", Kiss / Finishing Move: Big Top Drop [blackhole slam]
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"The World's Largest Transexual Athlete" The Big Ho, w/ "American Dweem" Pimp L. Kreem > From: / Theme: "Man! I Feel Like A Woman", Shania Twain / Finishing Move: Bitch Slap From Hell
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Val Halla > From: The Land of the Gods / Theme: "The End of the World", Dio / Finishing Move: Mjolnir [Flying ax-handle smash]
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Steve Roydz > From: Muscle Beach, Florida / Theme: "Macho Man", Village People / Image: Generic Bodybuilder. ... Yup. / Finishing Move: HeadLock [a... headlock]
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The King > From: GraceLand / Theme: "Jailhouse Rock", Elvis Presley / Finisher: Heartbreak Hotel [bounces off one set of ropes, hits legdrop, off another, hits fist drop, off another, knee drop, off last, shakes hips, brushes off both shoulders, & hits the almighty elbow]
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Double Oh-Zero > From: Top Secret / Theme: "Secret Agent Man", Blues Traveler / Finishing Move: The Golden Bullet [spear]
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Jonny K@$H > From: Beverly Hills, 90210 / Theme: "Money in the Bank", Swizz Beatz / Finishing Move: Stock Market KR@$H [buff blockbuster]
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"Pretty Boy" Boyy Toyy > From: Dorothy, Kansas / Theme: "I'm Too Sexy", Right Said Fred / Finishing Move: The IQ Killer [boot to foe's skull]
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Ugg the Caveman w/ Father Time > From: Ugg - The City of Bedrock | Time - Shady Pines Retirement Home / Theme: "Anarchy in Bedrock", Green Jelly
Finishing Moves: Time - Ugg - Clubbing Blow [hits foe with actual club]
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The Big Pussy > From: Mouse Breath, Michigan / Theme: "Cat Scratch Fever ", Ted Nugent / Finishing Move: The Scratching Post [rakes 'paws' down foe's back, before going for the school boy roll-up]
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Slackjaw Jim Dumbass > From: U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A, TOUGH GUYYY!!! / Theme: "Born in the U.S.A.", Bruce Springsteen / Finishing Move: HOOOOO! / Second Job: Janitor
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Spam > From: Wham-jam, Alabam / Theme: "Damn", Matchbox Twenty / Finishing Move: Saying something that rhymes with "Damn"
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No Legs McKenzie > From: A hospital / Theme: "Half a Man", Willie Nelson / Finishing Move: Burning Rubber [rolls over opponent with wheelchair]
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Shoe > From: The Shoe Store / Theme: "These Boots Were Made For Walking", Nancy Sinatra / Finishing Move: He's a shoe. He doesn't do much.
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Vince Russo > From: New York, New York / Theme: "Iron Man", Black Sabbath / Finishing Move: SWERVE~!!1one
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Ozzy Osbourne > From: Britain. Probably. / Theme: "No More Tears", Ozzy / Finishing Move: Not making no gat damn sense when he talks.
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Lil Jon > From: Da Hood / Theme: "Get Low", Lil Jon / Finishing Move: Gettin' Crunk
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Teams
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The Bakery of Darkness - "The Chef of Death" The UnderBaker, w/ Salt & Pepper > From: Bread Valley / Theme: Baker - "Eat It", 'Weird' Al Yankovic | SnP - "Push It", Salt 'N' Peppah
Image: Kinda like the "Ministry" Undertaker, arms covered in tattoos, his hair, long and brown, his mouth surrounded by a grizzly goatee, and his neck, tattooed with the name "Sara-Lee" with a tiny 'trademark' symbol next to it. He wears nothing but black clothing. Black boots with crosses painted on the sides, formed by two loaves of bread... A pair of black leather pants... A couple of black, padded, fingerless gloves... He wears a black chef's hat with purple trim, and a cooking apron; black, with the words stitched across in purple, "Kiss the Korpse".
Wrestling Style: Punch, Kick, Last Meal Powerbomb~!!! 1, 2, 3... / Finishing Moves: Baker - The Last Meal [jacknife powerbomb] ... Tombstone Pizzadriver
SnP Finisher: Con-Air-To, or, Totally Reeking of Reekocitude [both of them blow on foe at the same time, and thanks to their bad breath, the foe falls]
About: Not much is known about the 'Baker... And even less as far as SnP is concerned. So let's leave it that way, shall we? Mmmkay...
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The Glass Ceiling Gang > Theme: "We Will Rock You Like A Hurricane", Scorpion Queen
Muscle: "Big Poppa Dump" Snott Steiner > From: Booger Bay / Finisher: Booger Recliner [camel clutch] ..... Mascot: Anti-Christ Cage - From: Hades / Finisher: Satan's Supper [killswitch]
"Wrestling's ONLY Olympic Table Tennis Gold Medalist" Wright Angle > From: Mount Olympia / Theme: "Clocks", ColdPlay / Image: See - Angle, Kurt. / Wrestling Style: Olympic Style! DUH! / Finishing Moves: The 90 Degree Angle Lock [ankle lock] ... Special Olympic Slam [angle slam]
About: He won the Olympics with A BROKEN FREAKIN' NECK~!!1a ... Of course, seeing as it was just table tennis, I suppose it's not THAT big of a deal, but still... IT'S DAMN TRUE!
Sucka T > From: New York, New Jersey / Theme: "U Can't Touch This", MC Hammer / Image: Booker T. Simple as. / Wrestling Style: THUGNIFICENT! / Finishing Move: The Sucka Slam [bodyslams foe, proceeds to "raise the roof", performs a very shoddy break dance move called the "Spin-A-Ronie 'N' Cheez", before going to pin opponent... and then the foe kicks out, seeing as how Sucka spent so much damn time posturing to the WTF?! Humanoids.] ... 2Legit 2Quit [ARMBAR!]
About: Sucka is the unblackiest of all black guys. He tries to act "gangstah", but doesn't quite hack it. Actually less black than the local wiggah, John Semen... and that's sayin' somethin' right there.
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Team AmeriCanada - Redd W. Bloo & Kidd Kanada > From: Kanada - Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Dubbya - Washington, D.C. / Theme: Kanada - "Canadian Idiot", Weird Al | Dubbya - "Livin' in America", James Brown | Team Theme - "I Wanna Be An AmeriCanadian", Green Day & Ham
Image: Kanada - wears a white mask, with a red maple leaf across the face... shiny, red spandex with a white maple leaf emblazoned across the outside of both legs. White boots with red lacing and red maple leafs painted on the outer sides. | Dubbya - A buff dude with muscled biceps, in a red, white, and blue mask and attire. / Wrestling Style: Kanada - He's a light-weight hoser, eh? I.E. - High-flying Cruiser | Dubbya - American as Apple Pie! I.E. - Power-based Brawler
Finishing Moves: Kanada - The MapleLeaf [irish whips foe, rolls into single leg boston crab] | Dubbya - Old Glory [clothesline from hell] | Team Finisher - AmeriCanadian Idiot Express (ACIE) [Redd lifts foe up in powerbomb position, above head, near ring corner, with his front and foe's back to the post. Gates leaps off top of post, hooks foe's head and proceeds to snap off a variant of the diamond cutter high in mid-air, with Redd dropping backwards, so that the foe takes a reverse powerbomb from Redd, and a cutter from Gates.]
About: Redd is basically a mixture of Hulk Hogan, Sergeant Slaughter, and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. He's the ultimate American patriot. Or atleast, in the eyes of your average, dumb wrestling mark! Toss in a bit of Macho Man and Ric Flair for seasoning. Redd was one of Jack Hoff's stooges... ER, "right hand men"... After WSE tanked, Redd took a trip above the border, to the land up North, where he met a young man that wrestled under the name of "Kidd Kanada". Redd saw potential in this guy... something he'd never seen in anyone from outside of the country he's so proud to call home. But, he also saw the same national pride he had for the U.S., embedded in this boy from Canada. Together, the duo aspired to obtain the level of greatness of such Canucks like the Mountie, such Yankees as Jim Duggan, without all of that bothersome "talent" like Hart and Flair. And so, Kidd and Redd forged an alliance, across the division of two magnificent countries, and to set out on their quest to become WTF?! 4-Play Champs... OHHH CAN-A-DAAA! U!S!A! U!S!A!
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Team 2D - Major Mario & Lieutenant Luigi > From: The Mushroom Kingdom Marines / Theme: "Do the Mario", Captain Lou Albano, feat. Souljah Boi
Image: They wear black, shredded suspenders, with Mario wearing blue & red camo pattern shirt & hat [mario], and Luigi replacing the red with green. Mario has a red 'M' within a white circle printed across the front of his cap, and Luigi has a green 'L'. Mario's cap is pulled forward, but Luigi's is backward. They both wear dirty brown boots, & stained white gloves.
Wrestling Style: Sprite Based, & full of power-ups / Finishing Move: Mario - The Warp Pipe-Plex [german suplexes opponent, holds on, rolls through, and german suplexes them once more with a release] | Luigi - Super Luigi 64-Sault [springboard moonsault] | Team Finisher - GET THE KOOPA! [Mario tells Luigi to get koopa, with foe sitting in corner. Luigi then holds the koopa shell in front of the foe, Mario runs from the opposite corner toward the set up opponent, leaps into the air, and hits a powerful dropkick to the shell into the opponent, with Luigi finishing up with an enziguri.]
About: In WSE's first year, a team existed known as Team 2D... Brother Mario and Brother Luigi. But after his brother was knocked the fuck out by a debuting Gruel Renshaw at WrestleNymphoMania 69, Brother Mario became MAJOR Mario! Some said Mario began looking for payback that day... but all knew for certain that a fire had been lit in the Brooklyn-born, Mushroom Kingdom bred plumber... At WrestleNymphoMania 2012, Major Mario was scheduled to face Gruel Renshaw in a grudge match, one year in the making... when Nickey Mowse, leader of the Disney Corporation, intervened, trying to take out Mario. The Major nearly fought off the attack, but with Gruel and Mowse doubling up on the Plumber Extraordinaire, it was just too much... that is... until Brother Luigi made his long-awaited return! Luigi ran down to the ring, seemingly to assist his brother against Gruel and Mowse, but ended up betraying the Major. Indeed, Mario's own brother, the man he swore to seek revenge for against Gruel, ended up laying a Brooklyn Style Beatdown, a Mushroom Kingdom Massacre, a Luigi's Mansion Sized LASHING on Mario... before pledging allegiance to the Disney Corporation. With Luigi as a part of Nickey Mowse's group of straight laced G-Rated Warriors, a war was ignited between brothers... with Mario left beside himself... a fire raging closer and closer out of control.
Finally, at WrestleNymphoMania XXX [Tagline : 100% NUDE! SEXY FUN TIME FOR ALL!] , Major Mario and John Semen, accompanied by Jack Hoff, took on Luigi Mario and Nickey Mowse, with Vinny Disney at ringside. After a long, bloody, brutal battle, Semen and Mowse fought into the fans, leaving the Mario Boyz, the former Team 2D, to duke it out in the center of the ring. Vinny tried to make a run-in, but the Hoffster speared him right through the ropes, joining Semen and Mowse in the crowd of spectators. As Hoff and Disney traded a whirlwind of fists, inside the ring, the TRUE story was told... After waging a thirty minute war, the Major dropped Luigi with the Warp-pipe Plex, following up with the cover, the count, and the pinfall for the 1, 2, 3. But after the match, Luigi could do nothing but set the brothers' differences aside, and embrace his older Bro. as wrestling fans and video game nerds alike celebrated the reuniting of the Mario Bros. ... one more time. Luigi returned to the ring to aid his bro in battle against the evil scourge that plagued WTF?!. Together, set on making an even bigger impact, they've teamed up once again as the legendary Mario Bros., ready to set out on one of their most epic adventures ever! The Major, The Lieutenant... these are the new & improved Mario Brothers, a better, BADDER Team 2D ; the Mushroom Kingdom Marines! The world of side-scrolling 2D platformers & free-roaming 3D galaxies just isn't big enough for these pisanos! Grab that 1-up mushroom, and get ready to do the Mario!
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Beaner Sushi - El Taco & Jippy Jam the Japanese Jughead w/ 'Senor Sensei' Yosho-Yamaha Jose-Fernando DelTakafanaka Sazukajiri, the 3rd > From: Tijuana, Japan / Theme: A mash-up of "Low Rider" & "Kung-Fu Fighting" ["Kung-Fu Low Riding"]
Image: Taco - A fat, pale, white skinned "Mexican", who appears more to be a... well, a fat, pale skinned WHITE guy. He wears a pair of underwear with holes cut out as a mask. He also wears a pair of Spongebob pajama bottoms and a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" t-shirt, along with a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers. | Quadruple J - Spiky blonde hair... orange karate gi... eyes surgically stretched to 4 times their normal size.
Wrestling Style: Style? Who needs style when ya got STEREOTYPES! / Finishing Move: Taco - Burrito DeTequito Deluxe' [spinebuster, followed up by him bending over foe's face and farting] ... FrogFlop [frogsplash] | Quadruple J - Chop Sticks (a chop to the head, a chop to the chest, followed by a chop to the gut, finishing with a noogie)... Move of Much Danger and Power of the Fight Move [needless kung-fu posing, followed by "breaking" an air guitar over opponent's head]
About: Quadruple J - Born Chaz Spazzington in the rural trailer park of Somewhere, Nebraska, Jippy fled to Japan to escape the oppresion of his parents who didn't allow him to watch [adult swim]'s Anime block, due to them being strict Christians who didn't believe in such things. Jippy changed his name, and underwent surgery to have his eyes match the same overly exaggerated size of his favorite Japanese 'toons. But, not knowing a lick of the national language, believing that all Japanese people spoke English [Japanese cartoons are dubbed? You don't say!] Jippy was STILL an outcast. So, he moved back to America to find a place he could fit in. He found WSE. ... And then the WCWF. ... And now WTF?!.
Taco - El Taco is Mexican. He's just really... REALLY light complected. Wears a pair of underwear with holes cut out for the eyes, as well as a pair SpongeBob PJ's, a sweat-stained Ninja Turtles t-shirt, and fuzzy bunny slippers. He prided himself in being the greatest luchadore in WSE. Being the ONLY luchadore in WSE didn't hurt that fact. He is the nephew of the "Missing Guerrero", Taco. In tribute to his uncle, he has dropped his old name Mr. E, and taken on the name 'El Taco'. He patterns himself after the late, great Eddie Guerrero... or his uncle, Taco, seeing as apparently, Taco was a carbon copy of Eddie. Only with the name Taco. And along with Jippy, they have formed Beaner Sushi!!! If ya ain't down wit' dat, I got two words for yaaa ; CHOPPY CHOPPY, PEE PEE~!!!1a ... Well, technically four, but you get the point...
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Extreme Chumps'n'shit Wrasslin' [ECWCWWF] - Led by: Paul E. Beariously / Members: "Mr. Movie Night" DVR [DanVanRam], "That 90s Guy" Mike Jawesome, Tom EMailer, Justin Appropriate, Spazzz, hYpo, Cactus ManLove > Theme: "This is Xtrmkor!", Hairy Snatch & The SnatchTonez
"The Human LowBlow Machine", Spazzz > From: The Nether Regions of Brooklyn, New York / Theme: "Big Balls", AC/DC / Finishing Move: lowblow with a side of lowblow followed by a suplex. Whoops, I mean another lowblow. :^)
"The Homicidal, Suicidal, Wedding Bridal, Wavey Tidal, Nature Guide-al, American Idol... Terrorist-in-Training", Yahu! > From: Iraqistan, Afghanistania / Finisher: Take any move. Add chair. Literally
The MilkMan > From: The Dairy Farm / Theme: "Enter MilkMan", Calcium Crazed Cannibals / Finisher: Pogostick Shot
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The Fuddley Family - Blubba-Butt, Hee-Haw, Tiny Dyke, & Elmer > From: Fuddleyville / Theme: "Kill Da Wabbit", Fuddtallica
Finisher: 1-D [The Drop: Atomic Drop by HH over BB's knee, Dike eats PBJ, Elmer talks funny]
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Team Pizza Supreme [The Arbyz Boyz... & Girl] - Mickie D., Carl Jr. & Wendy > From: The Fast Food Nation / Theme: "Trapped in the Drive-Thru", 'Weird' Al Yankovic
Finishing Moves: Mickie D. - Twist of Face [stink face] | Wendy - Super-Sized 'Sault [moonsault] | Carl Jr. - Swanton Big Mac [banzai drop from top rope]
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Goode Copp, Badd Copp - Dean Goode Copp & Frank Badd Copp > From: The Sunny Side of The Dark Side / Theme: "Bad Boys", Inner Circle / Finishing Move: Police Brutality w/ a Cherry On Top! [Badd bludgeons foe with nightstick, tazers & sprays them with a full pressure water hose, & then runs them over with his police cruiser. Then Goode drops a jay-walking ticket on their chest.]
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J2 Krew - "The World's Sexiest Chocolate Man" JJ Mynuz & DJ Dizk Jawky w/ Million Dollah Mills > From: daStreetz / Theme: "Street Wise", Big Dick Johnson / Finishing Move: Layin' a BeatDown
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La French Fries - Fifi & Pierre > From: Frogish, France / Theme: "Stinky Cheese Ballad in E Minor", Pepe LePew / Finishing Move: The France-tastic Dance-tastic Kick [dance & double superkick]
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In-Bred Italians - Insanity Marella, "The Midget Mafioso" Lil' Nunzio & "The Italian Stallion" Tony Spaghetti > From: Little Italy, Louisiana / Theme: "On Top of Spaghetti", Nirvana / Finishing Moves: Insanity - The InchWorm [jabs his fingers in foe's eyes, before school-boy roll-up] | Nunzio & Spaghetti - Meatball Massacre [doomsday device]
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The sWo [something world order] -- "Barely Good" Hack Hokum with "Big Scratchy" Kevin Rash & "The Fat Guy" Bing O. Hall [The New Age Outsiders] > From: The WCW PowerPlant / Theme: "Back in Black", AC/DC / Finishing Move: Breaking every bone in their body when they walk.
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dPreperation-H - "Triple S" Super Sized Schnozz & "The HeadAche Kid" Ron Mitchells w/ Jack Hoff > From: The Attitude Era / Theme: "Break it Down", Tears For Fears / Finishing Moves: SSS - The Peticure [pedigree] | HAK - Sweet Nut Music [superkick to groin][/a]
There's like... 77 of 'em, btw... Annnd, I would LOVE to write matches with them, putting over their opponents of course. My characters are born jobbers. ^___^
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StupidStars
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"Drunk Ass", Austin Stevens > From: Hickston, Texas / Theme: "Whiskey Hangover", Godsmack
Favorite Drink: Ice Cold Beer. The Official Fuel of Drunken, Redneck, White-Trash Wife Beaters! / Catchphrase : Git 'R Did!!! ... WHAT?!
Image: Tight "Strangler's" jean shorts... flannel vest... white wife-beater [fits him to a tee]... belt w/ ridiculously oversized buckle... duct taped wrists... no shoes... a bald head, and a gruff beard.
Wrestling Style: Punch, Kick, DRUNK ASS DROP~!!! 1, 2, 3... / Finishing Move: Drunk Ass Drop [spits beer in foe's face, kick to the nuts, stunner, sending foe bouncing around like a ping pong ball]
About: Lived most of his life in a trailer park, watching "wrasslin" ravenously each and every week. When he found out there was a wrestling company that required no talent whatsoever, he was immediately on board! But when TNA turned him down, he decided to make due with the newly opened World Sports Entertainment. Was one of the first men to "make his name" in WSE in the first year of its existence. Left for a while, but decided to come back at the start of the second year. Nobody knows why the hell he'd do a stupid thing like that...
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"The Critics' Champion" HollyRocky > From: Hollywood, Samoa / Theme: "Hollywood", Madonna
Image: Black track pants with white pin stripes down the sides... a black crew cut... a black t-shirt with the name "HollyRock" emblazoned across the front in the style of the "Hollywood" sign.
Wrestling Style: All flash, no substance. Not a positive description, by any means, but still... / Finishing Moves: The Box Office Bomb [razor's edge]
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"The Chain Gang Souljah Boi", John Semen > From: The Mean Streets of Nancee Boi, Rhode Island
Theme: "Basik Ekonomix", MC IRS / Image: A white dude with tons of "bling" and not a clue in sight...
Wrestling Style: White. Whiter than El Taco and Jippy Jam combined. Yet not as white as Sucka T. Even though Sucka's black. ... Yeah, it's complicated.
Finishing Moves: The Fuck You [FU] ... The Shut the Fuck Up [STFU] / About: He's Vanilla Ice... only whiter, and less talented. Plus, he says "poopie"... A lot. That's pretty much him in a nutshell.
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"The Rated PG Stupid Star", Nickey Mowse > From: Disney World Land / Theme: "It's a Small World Land", The Goof Troop
Image: Has buck-teeth, and long, brown hair... Wears a hat which is black with mickey mouse-like ears... big, yellow gloves... red shorts with yellow buttons... plain, black t-shirt... big, floppy, yellow bowling shoes.
Wrestling Style: Fun for all ages / Finishing Move: The Mowse Trap [ddt into fall out faceplant]
About: Mowse is a spokesperson for Disney, which happens to host WTF?! programming. He constantly tries to make the product more suitable for "the children".
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Maxwell "Viruz" Gates > From: Silicon Valley / Theme: "Internet Killed the Video Star", The Limousines / Image: Long, blonde hair, pulled back in a ponytail... Lime-green, shimmering, knee-length shorts [ala paul london & brian kendrick], w/ black trimming around the waist, and a black 'V' on the side of either leg... black knee pads, black boots w/ lime green lacing... lime green wrist tape, black fingerless satin gloves, & a black, fish-net tank top showing off his abs.
Wrestling Style: l33t! Just like his m@dd hax0ring skillz. I.E. - Technically-sound Techie / Finishers: The DataDriver [vertebreaker] ... Viruz Skan [dragon sleeper] ... The Fatal Error [hooks arms of opponent in pedigree position while standing on the second turnbuckle, pulls opponent up to the second turnbuckle while he heads to the top, and then hits a flip pedigree, driving their face into the mat.] ... Illegal Download [laptop shot]
About: Previously donning a Hayabusa-esque mask under the name "Viruz", Max was one of the three men Jack Hoff personally "took out" in his quest to retain the WSE Title. Max returned to the WSE ring under the Viruz persona to continue dishing out laptop shots, and to some day claim the WSE title... until his true calling became clear. To remove the mask, return to his real name of Maxwell Gates, to create his own video gaming system [The X-Station Wii60]... and to return to WSE to dish out shots with his video game system! Oh... and to perhaps claim the WSE Title. After Mac folded WSE, Maxwell continued to create buzz with the X-Station Wii60... but he still felt the urge to dish out his beloved console system shots to opponents' heads. He called up THE Mac, letting him know that with a few loans from his X-Station business venture, he could help bring Mac's company back into business... Mac was excited, and eager to make it a reality.
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Axl VanHalen > From: Sinister City, Utah / Theme: "Welcome to the Jungle", Guns N' Roses / Image: He looks like a hair metal, glam rocker. 'Nuff said.
Wrestling Style: HARD ROCKiN'~!!1one ... in other words, he's a brawler who can't wrestle for crap. :3 / Finishers: Welcome to the Jungle [rock bottom] ... The LoveGun [superkick] ... The Crue Cutter [twist of fate] ... Back in Black [stunner]
About: Axl is a former hair metal glam god, front man for the little known band, Gunnzzz And YoYozzz [or, GaYY]... the ONLY cardboard record selling artist in music history! Which... means they only sold one copy. And that was to Axl's deaf grandmother... And both Axl and Reeve made their entrance into WSE as a replacement commentary team for Rex Rivers and Wes Rivers. They soon became THE Mac Bry's henchmen in the original mWo... As "The InsideOutsiders", Axl and Reeve basically did Bry's dirty work. But eventually, just as Mac had replaced Wes and Rex on commentary with them? He soon replaced THEM with Sucka T and Maxwell Gates in his mWo, dubbing Sucka and Max the NEW InsideOutsiders. And so, when Mac brought back WSE with the help of Maxwell, Reeve & Ax' knew they would have to forge an alliance, once again, to seek revenge. This was the beginning of WCWF v2 vs mWo 2.0 : The battle lines had been drawn! But then, of course, Mac was like "screw that noise, I'mma go watch Degrassi!", and so Jack Hoff took over. And then Mac decided to take back WSE and have Axl and Reeve join THE mWo for old time's sake. And then Ax' & Reeve started arguing with one another, struck out on their own, and... here we are. ^_^
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Kruzifix, w/ Evil Betty > From: Dimension of Doom, Oregon
Theme: "The Dope Show", Marilyn Manson
Image: Kruz has long, flowing, crimson red hair... wears a black leather, sleeveless, hooded trenchcoat to the ring... black face mask cut off above the nose... black leather, fingerless, biker gloves... fingernails painted black... black, legless spandex with an upside down, silver crucifix printed across the crotch... Black boots with crismon laces... always wears a silver necklace with an upside down crucifix pendant. You know, the usual good little Christian-boy get-up. ...
Wrestling Style: Darkness... brooding... and a buncha brawlin' / Finishing Move: The Krown of Thorns [spike ddt]
About: Arriving toward the beginning of WSE's existence, Kruzifix returned one year later, January 31st, 2010... at the Disney Channel debut of Nitro. He is more focused, more powerful... and his speeches are even more indecipherable than EVER before! As Kruz says... "Listen thitherly... for thee hast thou been thus DESTROYED... by the dementia of thine Destrucity~!!!". Constantly spouting off such nonsensical gibberish such as this, it quickly becomes apparent why the man from "The Dimension of Doom" has become a bit of an outcast in his lifetime. Kruzifix is a broodly brooding brooder, who broods... broodishly. And he's EVIL~!!!1 Because he lives in a graveyard... or something. ... Fear him and his darkly dark emoetry!!! ... Oh, and he brought in the most evil wrestling manager of ALL time!!! ... as long as we're only talking about male wrestling managers named 'Betty'. 'Cuz Betty White is like satan incarnate, but she's female. ... RARRR!!!
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Zorlax Firling > From: Downtown Astrolomega, the Urban Empire of Planet Q-Bert / Theme: "Intergalactic", Beastie Boys
Image: An orange head shaped like an upside down egg... orange body... large, pure black eyes... a clear, glowing red dome atop his head, used to transmit exterior readings into brain waves. Four, long, bony orange fingers on all four hands [yes, four. one on each arm, two arms on both side of body]. Oh, and he is always seen in torn jeans and t-shirts sporting the logos of the most current Astrolomegan Grunjal Rock Bands. Did we mention he's one of Astrolomega's many Tankoria Boarders?
Wrestling Style: OUT OF THIS WORLD! Yep, I know... lame... / Finishing Move: Deep Space Grind [leaps onto board, soars through air, before hopping, board held over his knees and hitting a variation of the codebreaker]
About: Zorlax hails from a galaxy far, far away in the outer reaches of some other universe. But, the planet he calls home is much like our Earth. Many different locations spread across the world... but his particular locale bears a striking resemblence to that of the United States of America. Loathed by the rest of his world, and the very city he lives in being very much like a New York or Los Angeles... only, in Astrolomega, EVERYONE's an alien! ... Except to eachother. Because then they're local. ... Nevermind.
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Goo the Adventurer > From: Hyperbolithica / Theme: "Hero", Nickelback
Image: Has medium length, brown hair, cut at the neck... Wears a light blue head band... dark blue, sleeveless tunic, with long sleeved, white shirt underneath... brown belt with silver buckle... white tights... brown, leather boots.
Wrestling Style: Heroic Underdog. Which means he gets beat up a bunch, then comes back and wins with one move. / Finishing Move: The Tri-Force Splash [450]
About: A great disturbance presented itself within the land of Hyperbolithica many years ago, in the form of an evil wizard known only as 'Disgruntledorf'. The evil wizard overthrew the king, and took the throne for himself. Disgrunteldorf turned everyone into his minions, except for an 18 year old kid by the name of Goo, who was lucky enough to escape. Goo found himself in WSE, looking for the one thing that could possibly free his friends and family from the spell which has been cast upon them... as well as the one thing that would give him the strength to overcome Disgruntledorf... a magical, mystical treasure known only as "THE Belt". ... But now he finds himself in WTF. ... So Hyperbolithica's pretty much screwed.
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"The All-Around All-Star Athlete", Luscious Melancholy Nasdaq Oxford Porterhouse > From: The Field of Dreams / Theme: "Jam", Michael Jackson
Image: A tall and lean, athletic looking black man with dreadlocks... always seen wearing various sports outfits, as he fancies himself a HUUUGE sports star, with the catchphrase, "Just DO IT!!!"
Wrestling Style: Damned good, just like every other sport he gets his hands into. / Finishing Move: Nike Air [shooting star press]
About: LMNOP has always been an athletically gifted young man... except for the fact that he isn't. In reality, LMNOP has really always been in a video game nut, obsessed with becoming as great as the sports icons he plays as on his X-Station Wii60. But, he has been lucky enough to grow pretty tall, stay pretty lean, and LOOK athletic... albeit having the skill, ability, and talent of Eric Cartman. WTF?! has found ITs 'MVP'.
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Captain Crap > From: Ocean Valley Harbor Ridge Beach Bay Citytropolis / Theme: "Kryptonite", 3 Doors Down
Image: A dude in a shit brown superhero costume. Plus, his weapon of choice is the 'Go Go, Action Plunger!'. Which protects him from... toilet clogs...
Wrestling Style: Shitty. ... HA! / Finishing Moves: The Poop Shoot [running bicycle kick] ... Kryptonite Krunch
About: Born Jack Franklin in the small suburb of Tootie Frootie, Idaho, he fled to the planet Krazy-a-ton to escape the oppresion of his parents. You see, they didn't allow him to watch the Super Friends due to its violent content, and due to them being strict Christians who didn't believe in such things [and you think YOUR parents are strict, sheesh...]. Jack changed his name to Clark Wayne, and underwent a process by which he had a spider bite him that was filled with radioactive juices. But, not knowing that radioactive spiders really don't give super powers, believing that all comic books are real [They're works of FICTION? You don't say!] Jippy was STILL a complete and total loser. Only now he had a bad rash. And he smelled like ass. Not that he didn't smell that way BEFORE the spider bite, just thought I'd throw that in there.
So, he moved back to Earth to find a place he could fit in... He spent a long, long time in Ocean Valley Harbor Ridge Beach Bay Citytropolis. There, Clark Wayne found his home under attack quite often by giant monsters, known as the Meninsuits. Wayne knew it was up to him to finally take on his role as super hero... and though he didn't have powers, he DID have his trusty Big Bad Walking Robo Turd! He vowed to take out the Meninsuits, in 30 minute weekly episodes. But, when his show was cancelled, he took his trusty Robo Turd, and headed to the only place crappier than he himself... By day, Clark Wayne works as a grocery boy for a dollar store in Citytropolis. By night, Captain Crap wrestles in cheap tights and a crappy cape!!! ... Which alter ego is "better", I have no idea.
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"The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit", Gruel Renshaw > From: The Octagon / Theme: "Mama's Gonna Knock Me Out", JJ Mynuz
Image: Gruel has a long, gruff, dirty, unkempt, unwashed, grizzly beard... bald head... no shirt... long, dark grey shorts... taped hands and feet... tatoos of all sorts of mean, nasty things all over his body... and no teeth.
Wrestling Style: Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit. Think Tank Abbot... only if he had been hit by a mac truck and forgot how to fight entirely. / Finishing Move: k.U.o [knockYOUout]
About: He's mean. He's nasty. He's BAD! And he's the ULTIMATE Chickenshit! A former MMA Champion... in Ethiopia... Renshaw made a trek to America for the greener pastures of UFC. Found out he sucked when compared to guys that can actually, you know... FIGHT. So, one call to Mr. Hoff later, "The Ultimate Fighting Chickenshit" is in World Sports Entertainment, and ready to get KO'd the F'O!!! And after WSE closed up shop, Gruel made the long, arduous trek to the WCWF!!! ... And then WTF?!, I suppose.... Don't call it a comeback.
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"The Next Best Thing" Brock Hendrix > From: Lesnar, Kentucky / Theme: "Take A Picture", Filter / Finishing Move: The F-69 [death valley driver]
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Daniel Bryan Danielson > From: Albino, Washington / Theme: "Pretty Fly For a White Guy.", The OffSpring / Finishing Move: The White Boy Wheelie [irish whip foe, roll up into single leg boston crab]
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straitEdge > From: Above You / Theme: "Young Blood", The Naked and Famous / Finishing Move: Drug Free Driver [piledriver from top rope]
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"KYJ", Kris Y. Jeriko > From: The Lube Station / Theme: "Jiffy Boy", Wax / Finishing Move: The Lubricator [lion tamer]
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"The Samoan RestHold Factory", Joe-Kishi-Maga-Zuna > From: The Isle of Orton / Theme: "Loser", Beck / Finishing Move: ChinLock, HeadLock or BearHug [pick one]
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"The Big RedNosed Klown" Francis, w/ Rigor "Dat Dam Ded [3D]" Mortis & JuggyLow > From: The Dark Karnival / Theme: "Psycho Circus", Kiss / Finishing Move: Big Top Drop [blackhole slam]
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"The World's Largest Transexual Athlete" The Big Ho, w/ "American Dweem" Pimp L. Kreem > From: / Theme: "Man! I Feel Like A Woman", Shania Twain / Finishing Move: Bitch Slap From Hell
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Val Halla > From: The Land of the Gods / Theme: "The End of the World", Dio / Finishing Move: Mjolnir [Flying ax-handle smash]
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Steve Roydz > From: Muscle Beach, Florida / Theme: "Macho Man", Village People / Image: Generic Bodybuilder. ... Yup. / Finishing Move: HeadLock [a... headlock]
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The King > From: GraceLand / Theme: "Jailhouse Rock", Elvis Presley / Finisher: Heartbreak Hotel [bounces off one set of ropes, hits legdrop, off another, hits fist drop, off another, knee drop, off last, shakes hips, brushes off both shoulders, & hits the almighty elbow]
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Double Oh-Zero > From: Top Secret / Theme: "Secret Agent Man", Blues Traveler / Finishing Move: The Golden Bullet [spear]
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Jonny K@$H > From: Beverly Hills, 90210 / Theme: "Money in the Bank", Swizz Beatz / Finishing Move: Stock Market KR@$H [buff blockbuster]
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"Pretty Boy" Boyy Toyy > From: Dorothy, Kansas / Theme: "I'm Too Sexy", Right Said Fred / Finishing Move: The IQ Killer [boot to foe's skull]
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Ugg the Caveman w/ Father Time > From: Ugg - The City of Bedrock | Time - Shady Pines Retirement Home / Theme: "Anarchy in Bedrock", Green Jelly
Finishing Moves: Time - Ugg - Clubbing Blow [hits foe with actual club]
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The Big Pussy > From: Mouse Breath, Michigan / Theme: "Cat Scratch Fever ", Ted Nugent / Finishing Move: The Scratching Post [rakes 'paws' down foe's back, before going for the school boy roll-up]
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Slackjaw Jim Dumbass > From: U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A, TOUGH GUYYY!!! / Theme: "Born in the U.S.A.", Bruce Springsteen / Finishing Move: HOOOOO! / Second Job: Janitor
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Spam > From: Wham-jam, Alabam / Theme: "Damn", Matchbox Twenty / Finishing Move: Saying something that rhymes with "Damn"
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No Legs McKenzie > From: A hospital / Theme: "Half a Man", Willie Nelson / Finishing Move: Burning Rubber [rolls over opponent with wheelchair]
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Shoe > From: The Shoe Store / Theme: "These Boots Were Made For Walking", Nancy Sinatra / Finishing Move: He's a shoe. He doesn't do much.
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Vince Russo > From: New York, New York / Theme: "Iron Man", Black Sabbath / Finishing Move: SWERVE~!!1one
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Ozzy Osbourne > From: Britain. Probably. / Theme: "No More Tears", Ozzy / Finishing Move: Not making no gat damn sense when he talks.
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Lil Jon > From: Da Hood / Theme: "Get Low", Lil Jon / Finishing Move: Gettin' Crunk
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Teams
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The Bakery of Darkness - "The Chef of Death" The UnderBaker, w/ Salt & Pepper > From: Bread Valley / Theme: Baker - "Eat It", 'Weird' Al Yankovic | SnP - "Push It", Salt 'N' Peppah
Image: Kinda like the "Ministry" Undertaker, arms covered in tattoos, his hair, long and brown, his mouth surrounded by a grizzly goatee, and his neck, tattooed with the name "Sara-Lee" with a tiny 'trademark' symbol next to it. He wears nothing but black clothing. Black boots with crosses painted on the sides, formed by two loaves of bread... A pair of black leather pants... A couple of black, padded, fingerless gloves... He wears a black chef's hat with purple trim, and a cooking apron; black, with the words stitched across in purple, "Kiss the Korpse".
Wrestling Style: Punch, Kick, Last Meal Powerbomb~!!! 1, 2, 3... / Finishing Moves: Baker - The Last Meal [jacknife powerbomb] ... Tombstone Pizzadriver
SnP Finisher: Con-Air-To, or, Totally Reeking of Reekocitude [both of them blow on foe at the same time, and thanks to their bad breath, the foe falls]
About: Not much is known about the 'Baker... And even less as far as SnP is concerned. So let's leave it that way, shall we? Mmmkay...
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The Glass Ceiling Gang > Theme: "We Will Rock You Like A Hurricane", Scorpion Queen
Muscle: "Big Poppa Dump" Snott Steiner > From: Booger Bay / Finisher: Booger Recliner [camel clutch] ..... Mascot: Anti-Christ Cage - From: Hades / Finisher: Satan's Supper [killswitch]
"Wrestling's ONLY Olympic Table Tennis Gold Medalist" Wright Angle > From: Mount Olympia / Theme: "Clocks", ColdPlay / Image: See - Angle, Kurt. / Wrestling Style: Olympic Style! DUH! / Finishing Moves: The 90 Degree Angle Lock [ankle lock] ... Special Olympic Slam [angle slam]
About: He won the Olympics with A BROKEN FREAKIN' NECK~!!1a ... Of course, seeing as it was just table tennis, I suppose it's not THAT big of a deal, but still... IT'S DAMN TRUE!
Sucka T > From: New York, New Jersey / Theme: "U Can't Touch This", MC Hammer / Image: Booker T. Simple as. / Wrestling Style: THUGNIFICENT! / Finishing Move: The Sucka Slam [bodyslams foe, proceeds to "raise the roof", performs a very shoddy break dance move called the "Spin-A-Ronie 'N' Cheez", before going to pin opponent... and then the foe kicks out, seeing as how Sucka spent so much damn time posturing to the WTF?! Humanoids.] ... 2Legit 2Quit [ARMBAR!]
About: Sucka is the unblackiest of all black guys. He tries to act "gangstah", but doesn't quite hack it. Actually less black than the local wiggah, John Semen... and that's sayin' somethin' right there.
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Team AmeriCanada - Redd W. Bloo & Kidd Kanada > From: Kanada - Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Dubbya - Washington, D.C. / Theme: Kanada - "Canadian Idiot", Weird Al | Dubbya - "Livin' in America", James Brown | Team Theme - "I Wanna Be An AmeriCanadian", Green Day & Ham
Image: Kanada - wears a white mask, with a red maple leaf across the face... shiny, red spandex with a white maple leaf emblazoned across the outside of both legs. White boots with red lacing and red maple leafs painted on the outer sides. | Dubbya - A buff dude with muscled biceps, in a red, white, and blue mask and attire. / Wrestling Style: Kanada - He's a light-weight hoser, eh? I.E. - High-flying Cruiser | Dubbya - American as Apple Pie! I.E. - Power-based Brawler
Finishing Moves: Kanada - The MapleLeaf [irish whips foe, rolls into single leg boston crab] | Dubbya - Old Glory [clothesline from hell] | Team Finisher - AmeriCanadian Idiot Express (ACIE) [Redd lifts foe up in powerbomb position, above head, near ring corner, with his front and foe's back to the post. Gates leaps off top of post, hooks foe's head and proceeds to snap off a variant of the diamond cutter high in mid-air, with Redd dropping backwards, so that the foe takes a reverse powerbomb from Redd, and a cutter from Gates.]
About: Redd is basically a mixture of Hulk Hogan, Sergeant Slaughter, and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. He's the ultimate American patriot. Or atleast, in the eyes of your average, dumb wrestling mark! Toss in a bit of Macho Man and Ric Flair for seasoning. Redd was one of Jack Hoff's stooges... ER, "right hand men"... After WSE tanked, Redd took a trip above the border, to the land up North, where he met a young man that wrestled under the name of "Kidd Kanada". Redd saw potential in this guy... something he'd never seen in anyone from outside of the country he's so proud to call home. But, he also saw the same national pride he had for the U.S., embedded in this boy from Canada. Together, the duo aspired to obtain the level of greatness of such Canucks like the Mountie, such Yankees as Jim Duggan, without all of that bothersome "talent" like Hart and Flair. And so, Kidd and Redd forged an alliance, across the division of two magnificent countries, and to set out on their quest to become WTF?! 4-Play Champs... OHHH CAN-A-DAAA! U!S!A! U!S!A!
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Team 2D - Major Mario & Lieutenant Luigi > From: The Mushroom Kingdom Marines / Theme: "Do the Mario", Captain Lou Albano, feat. Souljah Boi
Image: They wear black, shredded suspenders, with Mario wearing blue & red camo pattern shirt & hat [mario], and Luigi replacing the red with green. Mario has a red 'M' within a white circle printed across the front of his cap, and Luigi has a green 'L'. Mario's cap is pulled forward, but Luigi's is backward. They both wear dirty brown boots, & stained white gloves.
Wrestling Style: Sprite Based, & full of power-ups / Finishing Move: Mario - The Warp Pipe-Plex [german suplexes opponent, holds on, rolls through, and german suplexes them once more with a release] | Luigi - Super Luigi 64-Sault [springboard moonsault] | Team Finisher - GET THE KOOPA! [Mario tells Luigi to get koopa, with foe sitting in corner. Luigi then holds the koopa shell in front of the foe, Mario runs from the opposite corner toward the set up opponent, leaps into the air, and hits a powerful dropkick to the shell into the opponent, with Luigi finishing up with an enziguri.]
About: In WSE's first year, a team existed known as Team 2D... Brother Mario and Brother Luigi. But after his brother was knocked the fuck out by a debuting Gruel Renshaw at WrestleNymphoMania 69, Brother Mario became MAJOR Mario! Some said Mario began looking for payback that day... but all knew for certain that a fire had been lit in the Brooklyn-born, Mushroom Kingdom bred plumber... At WrestleNymphoMania 2012, Major Mario was scheduled to face Gruel Renshaw in a grudge match, one year in the making... when Nickey Mowse, leader of the Disney Corporation, intervened, trying to take out Mario. The Major nearly fought off the attack, but with Gruel and Mowse doubling up on the Plumber Extraordinaire, it was just too much... that is... until Brother Luigi made his long-awaited return! Luigi ran down to the ring, seemingly to assist his brother against Gruel and Mowse, but ended up betraying the Major. Indeed, Mario's own brother, the man he swore to seek revenge for against Gruel, ended up laying a Brooklyn Style Beatdown, a Mushroom Kingdom Massacre, a Luigi's Mansion Sized LASHING on Mario... before pledging allegiance to the Disney Corporation. With Luigi as a part of Nickey Mowse's group of straight laced G-Rated Warriors, a war was ignited between brothers... with Mario left beside himself... a fire raging closer and closer out of control.
Finally, at WrestleNymphoMania XXX [Tagline : 100% NUDE! SEXY FUN TIME FOR ALL!] , Major Mario and John Semen, accompanied by Jack Hoff, took on Luigi Mario and Nickey Mowse, with Vinny Disney at ringside. After a long, bloody, brutal battle, Semen and Mowse fought into the fans, leaving the Mario Boyz, the former Team 2D, to duke it out in the center of the ring. Vinny tried to make a run-in, but the Hoffster speared him right through the ropes, joining Semen and Mowse in the crowd of spectators. As Hoff and Disney traded a whirlwind of fists, inside the ring, the TRUE story was told... After waging a thirty minute war, the Major dropped Luigi with the Warp-pipe Plex, following up with the cover, the count, and the pinfall for the 1, 2, 3. But after the match, Luigi could do nothing but set the brothers' differences aside, and embrace his older Bro. as wrestling fans and video game nerds alike celebrated the reuniting of the Mario Bros. ... one more time. Luigi returned to the ring to aid his bro in battle against the evil scourge that plagued WTF?!. Together, set on making an even bigger impact, they've teamed up once again as the legendary Mario Bros., ready to set out on one of their most epic adventures ever! The Major, The Lieutenant... these are the new & improved Mario Brothers, a better, BADDER Team 2D ; the Mushroom Kingdom Marines! The world of side-scrolling 2D platformers & free-roaming 3D galaxies just isn't big enough for these pisanos! Grab that 1-up mushroom, and get ready to do the Mario!
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Beaner Sushi - El Taco & Jippy Jam the Japanese Jughead w/ 'Senor Sensei' Yosho-Yamaha Jose-Fernando DelTakafanaka Sazukajiri, the 3rd > From: Tijuana, Japan / Theme: A mash-up of "Low Rider" & "Kung-Fu Fighting" ["Kung-Fu Low Riding"]
Image: Taco - A fat, pale, white skinned "Mexican", who appears more to be a... well, a fat, pale skinned WHITE guy. He wears a pair of underwear with holes cut out as a mask. He also wears a pair of Spongebob pajama bottoms and a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" t-shirt, along with a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers. | Quadruple J - Spiky blonde hair... orange karate gi... eyes surgically stretched to 4 times their normal size.
Wrestling Style: Style? Who needs style when ya got STEREOTYPES! / Finishing Move: Taco - Burrito DeTequito Deluxe' [spinebuster, followed up by him bending over foe's face and farting] ... FrogFlop [frogsplash] | Quadruple J - Chop Sticks (a chop to the head, a chop to the chest, followed by a chop to the gut, finishing with a noogie)... Move of Much Danger and Power of the Fight Move [needless kung-fu posing, followed by "breaking" an air guitar over opponent's head]
About: Quadruple J - Born Chaz Spazzington in the rural trailer park of Somewhere, Nebraska, Jippy fled to Japan to escape the oppresion of his parents who didn't allow him to watch [adult swim]'s Anime block, due to them being strict Christians who didn't believe in such things. Jippy changed his name, and underwent surgery to have his eyes match the same overly exaggerated size of his favorite Japanese 'toons. But, not knowing a lick of the national language, believing that all Japanese people spoke English [Japanese cartoons are dubbed? You don't say!] Jippy was STILL an outcast. So, he moved back to America to find a place he could fit in. He found WSE. ... And then the WCWF. ... And now WTF?!.
Taco - El Taco is Mexican. He's just really... REALLY light complected. Wears a pair of underwear with holes cut out for the eyes, as well as a pair SpongeBob PJ's, a sweat-stained Ninja Turtles t-shirt, and fuzzy bunny slippers. He prided himself in being the greatest luchadore in WSE. Being the ONLY luchadore in WSE didn't hurt that fact. He is the nephew of the "Missing Guerrero", Taco. In tribute to his uncle, he has dropped his old name Mr. E, and taken on the name 'El Taco'. He patterns himself after the late, great Eddie Guerrero... or his uncle, Taco, seeing as apparently, Taco was a carbon copy of Eddie. Only with the name Taco. And along with Jippy, they have formed Beaner Sushi!!! If ya ain't down wit' dat, I got two words for yaaa ; CHOPPY CHOPPY, PEE PEE~!!!1a ... Well, technically four, but you get the point...
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Extreme Chumps'n'shit Wrasslin' [ECWCWWF] - Led by: Paul E. Beariously / Members: "Mr. Movie Night" DVR [DanVanRam], "That 90s Guy" Mike Jawesome, Tom EMailer, Justin Appropriate, Spazzz, hYpo, Cactus ManLove > Theme: "This is Xtrmkor!", Hairy Snatch & The SnatchTonez
"The Human LowBlow Machine", Spazzz > From: The Nether Regions of Brooklyn, New York / Theme: "Big Balls", AC/DC / Finishing Move: lowblow with a side of lowblow followed by a suplex. Whoops, I mean another lowblow. :^)
"The Homicidal, Suicidal, Wedding Bridal, Wavey Tidal, Nature Guide-al, American Idol... Terrorist-in-Training", Yahu! > From: Iraqistan, Afghanistania / Finisher: Take any move. Add chair. Literally
The MilkMan > From: The Dairy Farm / Theme: "Enter MilkMan", Calcium Crazed Cannibals / Finisher: Pogostick Shot
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The Fuddley Family - Blubba-Butt, Hee-Haw, Tiny Dyke, & Elmer > From: Fuddleyville / Theme: "Kill Da Wabbit", Fuddtallica
Finisher: 1-D [The Drop: Atomic Drop by HH over BB's knee, Dike eats PBJ, Elmer talks funny]
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Team Pizza Supreme [The Arbyz Boyz... & Girl] - Mickie D., Carl Jr. & Wendy > From: The Fast Food Nation / Theme: "Trapped in the Drive-Thru", 'Weird' Al Yankovic
Finishing Moves: Mickie D. - Twist of Face [stink face] | Wendy - Super-Sized 'Sault [moonsault] | Carl Jr. - Swanton Big Mac [banzai drop from top rope]
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Goode Copp, Badd Copp - Dean Goode Copp & Frank Badd Copp > From: The Sunny Side of The Dark Side / Theme: "Bad Boys", Inner Circle / Finishing Move: Police Brutality w/ a Cherry On Top! [Badd bludgeons foe with nightstick, tazers & sprays them with a full pressure water hose, & then runs them over with his police cruiser. Then Goode drops a jay-walking ticket on their chest.]
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J2 Krew - "The World's Sexiest Chocolate Man" JJ Mynuz & DJ Dizk Jawky w/ Million Dollah Mills > From: daStreetz / Theme: "Street Wise", Big Dick Johnson / Finishing Move: Layin' a BeatDown
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La French Fries - Fifi & Pierre > From: Frogish, France / Theme: "Stinky Cheese Ballad in E Minor", Pepe LePew / Finishing Move: The France-tastic Dance-tastic Kick [dance & double superkick]
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In-Bred Italians - Insanity Marella, "The Midget Mafioso" Lil' Nunzio & "The Italian Stallion" Tony Spaghetti > From: Little Italy, Louisiana / Theme: "On Top of Spaghetti", Nirvana / Finishing Moves: Insanity - The InchWorm [jabs his fingers in foe's eyes, before school-boy roll-up] | Nunzio & Spaghetti - Meatball Massacre [doomsday device]
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The sWo [something world order] -- "Barely Good" Hack Hokum with "Big Scratchy" Kevin Rash & "The Fat Guy" Bing O. Hall [The New Age Outsiders] > From: The WCW PowerPlant / Theme: "Back in Black", AC/DC / Finishing Move: Breaking every bone in their body when they walk.
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dPreperation-H - "Triple S" Super Sized Schnozz & "The HeadAche Kid" Ron Mitchells w/ Jack Hoff > From: The Attitude Era / Theme: "Break it Down", Tears For Fears / Finishing Moves: SSS - The Peticure [pedigree] | HAK - Sweet Nut Music [superkick to groin][/a]
