NvL Trains a Jobber, and Role-Models

[Kyle]

"One should strive to be an individual instead of being like someone else. Unless that someone else is Chuck Norris. Then one should strive to be Chuck Norris."
~Unknown

"Come on! Swing that club around like you know how to use it!"

Following that odd statement [as if viewers aren't used to them yet], the scene opens from the darkness. The first image viewers get is that of a man dressed up like a caveman, with the animal skin tunic and wild hair, standing in front of a black background with EPPW written across the back. At first glance, this appears to be a completely new person to the viewers, but then they notice the black paint on the finger nails, and they see the black hair protruding out of the brown wig the man was wearing. And then viewers get to see the man's face, revealing it to be none other than WCF Jobber Cryboy McEmo. Currently, McEmo is looking. . . well, depressed in the ridiculous outfit, complete with a wooden club that he holds awkwardly in his hands.

"Do I really have to go to such lengths to get on the main roster?"

The camera zooms out to reveal to the viewers that the person McEmo is speaking to is none other than the WCF World Champion [Writers Note: I love writing that statement] Nathan von Liebert. The champ is seated in one of those folding chairs that directors often sit in, but Nathan stands upon being spoken to.

"Of course you gotta go through with this. You asked me to pull some strings so you could get a chance on Slam, and I agreed as long as you did what I tell you. And I'm telling you that you gotta impress Tyler Walker and Biohazard so they will take you on as their tag team partner."

"But why a caveman gimmick? And besides, I don't even wanna work with those two job--"

Cryboy McEmo is about to say jobber, but he cuts himself off, knowing how silly that would sound. Nathan is shocked regardless of the jobber's choice of words. Reaching into his seat, he pulls out his World Title belt and taps it with his finger.

"You see this belt, right here? This Sunday, the two jobs you just mentioned are going to be wrestling for this fucking belt. The biggest title in the company, and those men are wrestling for it. So why don't you wanna work with Biohazard and Tyler Walker. I mean, granted there not going to win this Sunday, but they had the opportunity, at least. And sooner or later, there going to get a chance at the tag straps. You realize that Freebird rule has been in effect lately, and my opponents this week happen to be short a partner. Cryboy, you could be that partner!"

The opportunity at gold interests Cryboy, and viewers can see the eagerness in his mascara covered eyes.

"But how is this going to impress your two opponents?"

"I mean the gimmick is gold, honestly. You got a big stick to hit people with, its something this company has never seen, and it fits in with the whole oddity theme my opponents have going for them. But honestly, you're not going to impress Tyler by your looks alone; you're truly going to get to him with the delivery of your promos. Thus, right here, right now, I'm going to teach you how to cut a promo like Tyler Walker. Then, and only then will Tyler notice you."

Nathan walks up beside Cryboy McEmo, standing abreast with him to face the camera.

"Alright, now I want you to cut a promo like you think Tyler Walker cuts one. Pretend like I'm your opponent"

Cryboy looks at NvL for a second, and nods.

"A week passed, a new champion crowned. Nathan von Liebert proved titles can swap without warning, and this week, I'm going to emphasize that theory when I beat him. Come Sunday--"

NvL cuts Cryboy off with his hand, shaking his head. Nathan takes the club from Cryboy, pointing it to the camera.

"Wrong, wrong, wrong! You're using too many big words to be like Tyler Walker. Now, I want you to take this club and say the following. 'I'm fighting NvL this week and I'm going to break my club over his head.'"

Club exchange.

"'I'm facing NvL this week and I'm going to break my club over his head.'"

"Great! Now raise the club higher. Good, good. Alright, your opponent is Sarah Twilight. What do you say?"

"I'm facing Sarah Twilight this week and I'm going to break my club over her head?"

"Perfect! Now you're learning to cut a promo like Tyler. Alright, your opponent is Roy Speede, cut a promo."

"I'm facing Roy Speede this week and I'm going to break my club over his head!"

Nathan claps Cryboy on his shoulder, while he wipes away a fake tear from his eye.

"I probably would've added boudle somewhere in that last one, but I'm truly impressed. Great emotion and great delivery. Dare I say it, but I think you're even more charismatic than Tyler. He may not even let you be his tag partner because you're vocabulary is so much larger than his. But if you impress Biohazard, there's no way he could say no."

"How do I impress Biohazard?"

Nathan doesn't reply immediately, instead gripping Cryboy by the shoulder. McEmo catches on a second too late, and he stands there helpless as Nathan forces his right hand into the mouth of the jobber.

"My goodness you can fit a lot in your mouth. Logan would definitely love you."

Cryboy is struggling to free himself, but Nathan has got a strong grip. NvL gets up to his wrist, and twists his fist in the man's mouth before he retracts it. And then Cryboy drops to his knees, vomiting onto the ground.

"Ooze to face, Cryboy. All it takes is ooze to face."

And Nathan than proceeds to use his foot to press Cryboy's face into the the vomit. Screams and crying can be heard, but the camera zooms into Nathan's face so viewers are spared the disgusting scene.

"Why must I always suffer at the hands of others?"

NvL's upper body shifts slightly, most likely from him taking his foot off of Cryboy McEmo.

"I mean, Steve Orbit walks out of Ultimate Showdown last month knowing that his first defense was going to be monumental. Orbit versus NvL, a match that last occurred in May of 2012, where two practical rookies stole the show with their performance. He knew that it wasn't going to be winning the title that people cared about, but the first defense. Win or lose, the EPPW Universe knew he gave his all and fought a hell of a match.

And yet I wasn't given the same courtesy.

Do I mind defending my title the week after winning it? Not at all; I did it every single week with the Television title. Do I mind not even defending in the Main Event? Again, not really. I know that even though Oblivion and Odin are above me on the card, I'm the real main event in the eyes of the fans.

No the one detail that is really irking my nerves in my opponents.

I mean, Steve Orbit was thrown up against me, one of the best competitors in the entire company. He was given a match that would've defined his reign, win or lose. Win and he beat one of the best men that has walked into this company. Lose, and he lose to one of the best men in the company. Steve Orbit, quite honestly, wasn't going to be hurt regardless of the outcome last week. But me? Do I get a big match, an opponent that would help solidify my career.

Nope.

I get fucking Biohazard and Tyler Walker."

Nathan just shakes his head.

"I get thrown into a match with two men that are going to hurt my reign even after I kick their asses. Can you just imagine my conversations and my twitter wars after this? I'm going to pass Orbit by in the hall and be like 'hey, I successfully defended my title, and you didn't' And you know what he's going to say back?

'At least I had a real opponent.'

And at first, I'm going to grin and accept Orbit's words as a compliment. I mean, he did refer to me as a 'real opponent.' And then the words are going to sink in, and I'm going to hang my head in shame, fucking shame. Yes I'm the World Champion, and I'm going to be one that accomplished something that several former champions couldn't do.

But then I'm going to remember that I accomplished it on Tyler Walker, on Biohazard, and I'm going to feel the grins, hear the laughs and jeers at me.

I'm the fucking champion.

Yet I'm going to be the fucking champion who beat Tyler Walker and Biohazard in their first defense, something no one is begging to have in their history books."

Nathan runs his hands through his hair.

"I mean, I have no doubt that I'm going to win this Sunday. Like seriously, I can go grab that club back there and repeat the lesson I just gave Cryboy. 'I'm facing Tyler Walker this week and I'm going to break my stick over his head.'

And then unlike Tyler Walker, I can actually follow through with what I say.

Like seriously, are you related to Adam Young or something, Tyler? Because every week, every opponent you face, its like you're channeling your inner Adam Young on the screen. And I know why you're doing it too.

Its all about role-models.

We all have them, Tyler. We all have someone to look up to, someone we strive to be like. Granted, I'd suggest you to pick a better role model than the one you chose. I mean, we have an entire roster that you could strive to be like. You could be a pimp like Orbit, a successful businessman like Eric Price, or even a drunkard like Jay Price. I just couldn't comprehend why you would choose Adam Young over anybody else in this company. And then the answer hit me, clear as day.

You look up to Adam Young because he's the only person you could ever reach, ever stand equal to.

Because that truly is the thing about role-models; you're never looking down at them, only up. They always have some quality, something about them that we don't have, something that we want to have. Maybe its humility, or success, or power, or any other quality that we desire. Sometimes, we eventually reach, eventually achieve what that role-model has. And then sometimes we don't. Sometimes, we work so hard to achieve what the person above us has already achieved us, but we fail in the end.

Thus, you mimicking Adam Young clearly states that he's the only person you stand equal to. Have you made an attempt to get higher, become someone else, someone better? Most likely, you have. But failure after failure, you just cannot seem to rise above the position you're in. That is why you come out every week with the cliche boasts that you never achieve. You say you're going to do this, say you're going to do that.

Yet, in the end, you just don't.

And honestly, Tyler, part of me wants to help you out. Part of me wants to say 'get a new role-model.' Part of me wants to tell you that you should follow the example of my role-model. But I know you cannot.

Because you see, Tyler, my role-model is me.

Role-models are somebody you look up to, Tyler, but the thing is there is no one above me. I look up and all I see is a wide expanse, empty of all other people. And then I look down, I see everyone else who wants to be like me. I see you wanting to be like me. And I laugh, Tyler.

I fucking laugh because I know no one else can be like me.

Tyler, you will not win this week. Your typical macho statements and awkward scenes will be no match this week, plain and simple. You're going to try and succeed, try and win the biggest match of your career.

But you won't.

I mean, I'm complaining about getting a win over you this week, but you wanna know what I haven't heard at all.

I haven't heard you complaining about having to lose to me this week.

Because you know, Tyler, that a loss to Nathan von Liebert is the best thing you've done in your career."

Nathan nods, a smirk crossing his face.

"Honestly, I don't know if my mind could take a double dose of pitiful in a single week; after watching Biohazard earlier the week, I was actually dreading hearing what Tyler had to say.

Seriously, Biohazard was enough for me.

I just can't wrap my head around this character, how he's so popular. Maybe its because people are waiting, hoping to see Skyler Striker rip off the mask in his return to the company. It happened once, and people are praying that it'll happen again. And how special, how awesome would it be for Striker to make his return in the same manner he had so many years ago. Skyler Striker versus Nathan von Liebert for the World Title. People would love it.

Until the ending, when Nathan von Liebert went on to pin Skyler Striker again.

Because, the thing is, Skyler doesn't scare me. He wouldn't have scared me years ago the first time it happened, and it wouldn't scare me if it were to happen again. WCF Hall of Famer, former world champion; nothing that man has I won't have by the end of my career. And when I conclude, I'll even have something he won't: I'll have a pinfall over the man. But do I think the legend will be making a return this week?

Nope.

Because in that ring, I don't see a legend spitting ooze and degrading the product this company has been producing. No, I see an up-and-coming rookie riding the coattails of history, of a character who became popular by the hard work of another. I see a man riding it high.

So high that he has crossed my path.

And as many people would attest to, bad things happen when people cross my path. Especially people who don't deserve to be where I am. I've been in this business for two years now and nothing annoys me more than to see the curtain jerkers rising to my hard earned level when they don't fucking deserve it. Never once in my career have I been given chances at titles that I didn't deserve. I won tournaments to get to the TV Title, won three matches in one fucking night to get my first chance at the World Title. I had to win Ultimate Showdown to ever get the chance again. Even when the matches were tossed my way without notice, it was because I earned them, because I stepped into the ring every single week and outperformed the rest of the roster.

You haven't done any of that, Biohazard.

You've won two, maybe three matches tops, in situations that don't even warrant a television title shot, let alone a fucking World Title berth. And yet there you stand, my opponent this week in what was suppose to be the defining moment of my reign. In my biggest match, I'm facing the lowest of opponents.

I'm facing jobbers.

Thus, I'm going to treat you how you deserve to be treated. I'm going to wipe the floor with both of you, plain and fucking simple. You're going to come at me, numbers in your supposed favor, but it won't even make a fucking difference. I won't waste my time saying 'you're going to bring the fight' or 'your going to push me to my limit.'

Because you won't.

Biohazard, I'm going to wipe the fucking floor with you and your partner come Sunday. I'm going to walk into the arena a champion, and it'll be the same when I walk out.

I'll be less of a champion, yes, but a champion none the less.

And you?

Well, you're be lucky to walk out at all, Biohazard."

Nathan pauses, nodding his head once.

"Come Sunday, I'm going to make you guys the role-models to the rest of the jobbers in this company.

You're going to be the example of why you don't mess with me."

And fade out.