Post by CD's Old Account on May 5, 2013 10:42:18 GMT -5
The scene opens to a lush forest, filled with life and trees. The sun is poking out over the horizon, shining brightly on our setting. Standing before an obvious opening to the forest is Pantheon members Jeff Purse, Jonny Fly, and Corey Black. Jonny is wearing his Tag Team Championship, Corey wearing his as well as the Internet Title on top of it, stacked up so both are visible. In the far distance there is a mountain Corey is pointing at.
Corey Black
That's the volcano, gents.
Jeff Purse
Explain the plan to me once again..
Jonny Fly
It's simple, really. You're not in a wheelchair anymore, so you can venture with us to purge WCF of the evils dwelling within these Titles.
Corey Black
Aye, the gold holds some kind of power over people. We need to throw them in that volcano over there.
Jeff Purse
Why not this volcano over here?
Purse points to his left, into a pit of lava conveniently placed right next to Pantheon.
Jonny Fly
That's no adventure.
Jeff Purse
We already flew to New Zealand and walked around for half the day. In fact, I am pretty sure we started by that volcano over there.
Corey Black
Oh surely we did...n't... fuck.
Jonny Fly
Doesn't matter, this is a Pantheon communication strengthening exercise. You two have been pretty bad at that lately.
Corey and Jeff, puzzled, both cock their heads to the side.
Corey Black
What?
Jeff Purse
What?
Jonny Fly
Don't play dumb, gentlemen. Steve Orbit, Eric Price.. SARAH TWILIGHT, JEFF.
Jeff Purse
I told you man...
Jonny Fly
Yeah yeah, we'll get to that later.
Jeff Purse
Communication..?
Corey Black
ONWARD!
Corey thrusts his fist forward while leading the way into the forest. He stops at the opening.
Corey Black
Oops, forgot this. Here bro, take this.
Corey removes the Internet Championship and hands it to Jeff.
Corey Black
I win enough belts to share.
Into the forest they go. They walk by a lot of typical stuff, frogs and trees and shit. You know, forest stuff, do I have to describe it all? What I should describe is the pond Pantheon comes across. It's brown and bubbling, almost looks like...
Jonny Fly
Holy shit is that Diet Coke?
COREY DIVES RIGHT IN. He splashes about in glee, taking drinks of the cool nectar of life. While he does this, a shadowy figure sneaks up and attempts to take Jonny Fly's Tag Title! Jonny turns right around and headbutts the shit out of whatever this figure it. The thing squeals and curses at Fly.
Shadow Figure
AAAH THE FLYS! MY PRECIOUS!
Confusion comes over Pantheon. Corey gets out of the Diet Coke pond, Jeff is on high alert. Jonny looks at the thing.
Jonny Fly
Oblivion?
Golloblivion
NoOO-OOO-o-o-O THE FLYS! ITS NAME IS GOLLOBLIVIONS! YOU-OU-OU-OUUOUU-U HAVETH MY PRECIOUS!
Corey Black
This is retarded.
Jeff Purse
This is your idea.
Jonny Fly
This is going to die a horrible death.
Jonny takes Gollobivion and holds his head under the Diet Coke pond. And I don't mean he did it for fun, he drowned that motherfucker. Literally.
Jeff Purse
Jesus Christ man, did you have to kill it?
Jonny Fly
Yeah.
Corey Black
Fair enuogh. It thinks it was God, instead It had a stuttering problem.
Jeff Purse
Wait, shouldn't that have happened later on?
Corey Black
What do you mean?
Jeff Purse
Gollum attacks the Hobbits at the mouth of the volcano. We're not even a tenth of the way there yet.
Corey Black
I have no idea what you're talking about. Hobbits?
Jeff Purse
Yeah, the Lord of the Rings. You stole the idea with the gold belts and the volcano...
Corey Black
I've never seen those movies.
Jonny Fly
...what?
Corey Black
What what?
Jeff Purse
Then.. how did you think up this plan?
Corey Black
I dunno, magic and shit?
POOF out of nowhere, Wizard Odin appears.
Wizard Odin
HA! YOU THOUGHT THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE ABE LINCOLN BEAT ME?! IT WAS A RUSE! I HAVE MAGIC AND A PHOENIX DOWN I USED TEN SECONDS AGO!
Jeff Purse
Plot device.
Jonny Fly
This movie sucks, I wouldn't watch it.
Corey Black
Just like Lord of the Rings.
Wizard Odin
SILENCE, FUCKERS!
The ten foot tall wizard casts lightning at Jeff Purse, but Corey Black jumps in front of it and his Tag Title reflects the blast back to Wizard Odin, hitting him in the finger, blowing it off! Corey grabs the finger as Wizard Odin pleas with him.
Wizard Odin
OH NO!
Corey Black
From which you came, you shall remain, until you are, complete again!
Behind Corey, Jeff and Jonny are confused as all hell. The ground splits and shines bright under Wizard Odin, as he's seemingly pulled into the ground. With his head above the ground, he shouts to Pantheon.
Wizard Odin
NOOO! FUCK YOU CD! AND FUCK YOU JEFF AND FUCK YOU JONNY! I'LL GET YOU TENACIOUS PANTHEOOOON!
Poof, Wizard Odin is now gone, dragged to hell. The ground steams in a pentagram pattern where he was.
Jonny Fly
How did you know to do that?
Corey Black
Fuckin' Pick of Destiny.
Jeff Purse
So you're going to rip off Lord of the Rings, claim you've never seen it, and then in the middle reference Tenacious D?
Corey Black
Affirmative. Let us continue!
Jonny Fly
This is getting too weird, even for me.
The three Pantheon members take what seems like three steps, but there's at the foot of the mountain already. From around a tree comes a small robot. It has three legs, it's on wheels, and it looks like a trashcan.
Jonny Fly
Wrong trilogy.
The robot opens and displays a hologram on a stand.
Holo-Jay Price
Sup niggas?
Jeff Purse
Oh, hi.
Jonny Fly
Good afternoon.
Corey Black
Salutations.
Holo-Jay Price
What are you guys up to?
Jeff Purse
Throwing three WCF Titles in a volcano to purge the evil that dwells within. That right, Corey?
Corey Black
More or less, yes indeed!
Holo-Jay Price
And you didn't invite me?
Jonny Fly
You're in China, right?
Holo-Jay Price
You're in New Zealand, right?
Jeff Purse
Middle Earth?
Corey Black
Tatooine?
Jonny Fly
WRONG. TRILOGY.
Holo-Jay Price
Well, continue on, I guess. Hashtag YOLO!
BOOM the robot explodes, because why not? In its place a phone booth lands, and out pops Kung-Fu Abe Lincoln. He throws the devil horns up.
Abraham Lincoln
PARTY ON, DUDES!
BOOM Abe explodes too, because why not?
Jonny Fly
I cannot believe come of the stuff that happens when we all get together.
Jeff Purse
It's like Kid Phantasm left us weed laced with almost everything under the sun.
Corey Black
I dunno, I like it.
Pantheon climbs the mountain in record time, making JBL look like a punk-ass bitch. At the mouth of the volcano, they all peer into it, looking down at the lava as it bubbles.
Corey Black
This is it, guys. These Titles need to go into that lava.
Jeff Purse
Uh.. check out that sign.
To the left is a wooden sign. It says "Pantheon was here, 20 minutes ago."
Jonny Fly
Yep, we were here about 20 minutes ago.
A GODDAMN DRAGON APPEARS.
Goddamn Dragon
I'm going to eat you douchebags.
Corey Black
lol, no.
BURNING HAMMER. A table flips.
Jonny Fly
Okay, this is ridiculous now!
We're not in Mordor or on Tatooine anymore. Instead, we're in Dethfort, where Jonny, Jeff and Corey were sitting around a table, playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Jonny has since made that table be on its side and the papers and books strewn about.
Jeff Purse
Doesn't this game require dice of some kind? You were just making shit up as you went along, Corey.
Corey Black
I ... uh ... house rules?
Jonny Fly
Come on Jeff, let's get out of here. We have stuff to talk about.
Jeff and Jonny get up to leave, and Corey stays in his chair. Once the other Pantheon members are gone, Corey Black pulls off his face to reveal BRAD KANE! It was Brad Kane all along!
Jonny Fly
Oh for fucks sake man.
We're back in reality, the Dungeons and Dragon table set up nicely, Jeff Purse, Jonny Fly, and Corey Black all sitting around it.
Jeff Purse
Man, can we be done now? I feel like I need to wash my hands after that.
Jonny Fly
No kidding. I'm right behind you.
Jonny and Jeff leave for the bathroom, while Corey laughs and heads into the living quarters. He grabs a digital camera and begins filming himself, seemingly for WCF.com.
Corey Black
This week on Slam, Pantheon rolls three strong into the fires of the Trios Tournament. One week after Jonny Fly and I won the Tag Titles and Jeff Purse returned, four days after I outlasted nine or ten other people in a Battle Royal to win the Internet Championship. To say this week was very productive would be a mountain of an understatement. Pantheon is back to one hundred percent strength, and we're on a roll.
That's not to say we don't have our issues. There's a mess involving Sarah Twilight, there's a mess with statues, and there's a big mess concerning Jonny Fly. The more he talks, the smarter he sounds. Eric Price is on board, Gravedigger is teetering, but Jeff... Jeff's not all game yet. He's been out of action for a while, and as soon as he's back, he's supposedly spotted macking on Sarah Twilight. I mean, she's a schmexy redhead, so.. I guess I don't blame him if he did. Kari is, like, Persian or some shit, and she's hot as fire too. Whatever, all I know is that Purse is pulling all the trim, and he better share soon.
Jeff and Jonny come back from the bathroom, Corey continues recording.
Jeff Purse
What are you doing over there, man?
Corey Black
Recording a little something for WCF.com about our match.
Jonny Fly
Mention how you're going to elbow Brad Kane in his dick.
Corey turns back to the camera.
Corey Black
I am going to elbow Brad Kane directly in his dick.
Black turns to Fly, and they share a thumbs up salute.
Corey Black
This guy sends his kid out into the WCF wild for a while, then he just vanished, and now Brad's back. Great golly gee willickers, who signed the contact for that one? Sure as shit wasn't the Chief of Staff, if I had it my way, Brad would be our janitor. Guy has been around for years and years and he continues to be such a Creeping Death mark, I'd be surprised if he DIDN'T show up in white and black face paint. He's got some kind of 'crusade' against us, as if we're the bad guys, and he's not the one going around making false accusations. Newsflash genius, that car in the driveway of your house? Pantheon made it possible. One way or another, we are responsible for whatever you have. Maybe it's the 15% pay raise, maybe it's me being the driving force and keeping this company alive for so long, who knows really? More than anyone I can remember, you take WCF for granted and make it your personal playground for your entire extended family. 'But Corey blah blah you can't beat me hibbity dibbity' BLAH! Maybe that's true. Maybe it's now false. You haven't gotten a taste of what I am now capable of, have you Bradly? The last time we got in the ring together, you had traveled the world and made it your bitch while I sat in WCF and learned how to job to Logan. Now look at me, man. I've been across the globe too, I've won Titles in places you couldn't even cut the mustard in, and here you come, still thinking you're better than me. Bitch, please.
You'd be lucky to make it out remembering what Freya looks like, Kane. I'm coming at you with the force of the hundreds of dudes your ex-wife had come at her, except I'm going to deliver kicks and elbows while they delivered money shots and facials. See, I'm not even high enough on a horse to not do jizz jokes. That's what you have coming, Brad. You've been a thorn in my fucking side since 2004. Close to 9 years, you son of a bitch. I've watched you grow as a wrestler, and grow as an asshole. Your family grew too, but your asshole tendencies overshadows that fact. Chris should be ashamed to have your name to live up to. I bet if he was my son, he'd be proud to wrestle in WCF at such a young age. Fuck you, man. Just fuck you.
Jonny taps Corey on the shoulder, he's going nuts, Jonny tries to calm him down.
Jonny Fly
Holy shit dude, relax, We'll get him. Don't worry about it.
Corey Black
NO! We won't get anything! I will get Brad Kane! I'll skin him and make a rug out of his hide! I'll put his goddamn head on a stick outside my door! I'll... I'll...
Jeff Purse
You'll channel this rage and beat some ass?
Corey Black
Precisely! First, I'll make Brad Kane my woman. Then, I'm going to take Oblivion and make him admit he never beat me in GEW. That shit was a farce. 'It' doesn't have what it takes to beat a Man Made God like me. All the magic tricks, the blood, the gore, none of that phases me. When I look at Oblivion, I don't see a six and a half foot three hundred pound masked monster of destruction. I don't even see the Hardcore Champion. I see a guy with problems knowing who he is. I used to be that guy, I didn't know. Then I shaped the fuck up and figured it out. I'm a goddamn badass, what are you, Oblivion? A fucking dildo that doesn't know his place, that's what. You could come on TV fist-fucking a donkey, elbow deep, and the general public would roll they're eyes and be like 'oh-Blivion.' You're not shocking anymore, you're just annoying. Your in-ring work, while you hold a Title, I'll give you that, but your in-ring work is like wrestling an even older Odin Balfore. At least that guy is spending time in Japan to hone his craft. You, Oblivion, you're just fist-fucking a donkey.
Jonny Fly
Oblivion the dildo fist-fucking a donkey, you say this after the jizz jokes about Kane's ex-wife? Are you 14?
Corey Black
No, but that's how old Odin's grandchild is. You ancient motherfucker. Knees can snap any second, hair a white as the snow on top of Mount Doom...
Jeff Purse
There's no snow up there, dude.
Corey Black
I'VE NEVER SEEN THOSE MOVIES. Odin is tall, he's imposing, but he's fragile. He's powerbombed me to obscurity and fallen by my hand on the biggest stage of them all. What more is there to say about the guy?
Jeff Purse
It's Pantheon's turn to teach him what it's like to be elite?
Corey Black
I couldn't have said it better myself, Jeff. We're going to walk into this Trios Tournament and make bitches out of every last motherfucker that steps against us. Then we're going to take the World Title and completely rule the world. ONE FOR ALL...
Jonny Fly
WRONG GODDAMN MOVIE, COREY!
Fade.
Corey Black
That's the volcano, gents.
Jeff Purse
Explain the plan to me once again..
Jonny Fly
It's simple, really. You're not in a wheelchair anymore, so you can venture with us to purge WCF of the evils dwelling within these Titles.
Corey Black
Aye, the gold holds some kind of power over people. We need to throw them in that volcano over there.
Jeff Purse
Why not this volcano over here?
Purse points to his left, into a pit of lava conveniently placed right next to Pantheon.
Jonny Fly
That's no adventure.
Jeff Purse
We already flew to New Zealand and walked around for half the day. In fact, I am pretty sure we started by that volcano over there.
Corey Black
Oh surely we did...n't... fuck.
Jonny Fly
Doesn't matter, this is a Pantheon communication strengthening exercise. You two have been pretty bad at that lately.
Corey and Jeff, puzzled, both cock their heads to the side.
Corey Black
What?
Jeff Purse
What?
Jonny Fly
Don't play dumb, gentlemen. Steve Orbit, Eric Price.. SARAH TWILIGHT, JEFF.
Jeff Purse
I told you man...
Jonny Fly
Yeah yeah, we'll get to that later.
Jeff Purse
Communication..?
Corey Black
ONWARD!
Corey thrusts his fist forward while leading the way into the forest. He stops at the opening.
Corey Black
Oops, forgot this. Here bro, take this.
Corey removes the Internet Championship and hands it to Jeff.
Corey Black
I win enough belts to share.
Into the forest they go. They walk by a lot of typical stuff, frogs and trees and shit. You know, forest stuff, do I have to describe it all? What I should describe is the pond Pantheon comes across. It's brown and bubbling, almost looks like...
Jonny Fly
Holy shit is that Diet Coke?
COREY DIVES RIGHT IN. He splashes about in glee, taking drinks of the cool nectar of life. While he does this, a shadowy figure sneaks up and attempts to take Jonny Fly's Tag Title! Jonny turns right around and headbutts the shit out of whatever this figure it. The thing squeals and curses at Fly.
Shadow Figure
AAAH THE FLYS! MY PRECIOUS!
Confusion comes over Pantheon. Corey gets out of the Diet Coke pond, Jeff is on high alert. Jonny looks at the thing.
Jonny Fly
Oblivion?
Golloblivion
NoOO-OOO-o-o-O THE FLYS! ITS NAME IS GOLLOBLIVIONS! YOU-OU-OU-OUUOUU-U HAVETH MY PRECIOUS!
Corey Black
This is retarded.
Jeff Purse
This is your idea.
Jonny Fly
This is going to die a horrible death.
Jonny takes Gollobivion and holds his head under the Diet Coke pond. And I don't mean he did it for fun, he drowned that motherfucker. Literally.
Jeff Purse
Jesus Christ man, did you have to kill it?
Jonny Fly
Yeah.
Corey Black
Fair enuogh. It thinks it was God, instead It had a stuttering problem.
Jeff Purse
Wait, shouldn't that have happened later on?
Corey Black
What do you mean?
Jeff Purse
Gollum attacks the Hobbits at the mouth of the volcano. We're not even a tenth of the way there yet.
Corey Black
I have no idea what you're talking about. Hobbits?
Jeff Purse
Yeah, the Lord of the Rings. You stole the idea with the gold belts and the volcano...
Corey Black
I've never seen those movies.
Jonny Fly
...what?
Corey Black
What what?
Jeff Purse
Then.. how did you think up this plan?
Corey Black
I dunno, magic and shit?
POOF out of nowhere, Wizard Odin appears.
Wizard Odin
HA! YOU THOUGHT THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE ABE LINCOLN BEAT ME?! IT WAS A RUSE! I HAVE MAGIC AND A PHOENIX DOWN I USED TEN SECONDS AGO!
Jeff Purse
Plot device.
Jonny Fly
This movie sucks, I wouldn't watch it.
Corey Black
Just like Lord of the Rings.
Wizard Odin
SILENCE, FUCKERS!
The ten foot tall wizard casts lightning at Jeff Purse, but Corey Black jumps in front of it and his Tag Title reflects the blast back to Wizard Odin, hitting him in the finger, blowing it off! Corey grabs the finger as Wizard Odin pleas with him.
Wizard Odin
OH NO!
Corey Black
From which you came, you shall remain, until you are, complete again!
Behind Corey, Jeff and Jonny are confused as all hell. The ground splits and shines bright under Wizard Odin, as he's seemingly pulled into the ground. With his head above the ground, he shouts to Pantheon.
Wizard Odin
NOOO! FUCK YOU CD! AND FUCK YOU JEFF AND FUCK YOU JONNY! I'LL GET YOU TENACIOUS PANTHEOOOON!
Poof, Wizard Odin is now gone, dragged to hell. The ground steams in a pentagram pattern where he was.
Jonny Fly
How did you know to do that?
Corey Black
Fuckin' Pick of Destiny.
Jeff Purse
So you're going to rip off Lord of the Rings, claim you've never seen it, and then in the middle reference Tenacious D?
Corey Black
Affirmative. Let us continue!
Jonny Fly
This is getting too weird, even for me.
The three Pantheon members take what seems like three steps, but there's at the foot of the mountain already. From around a tree comes a small robot. It has three legs, it's on wheels, and it looks like a trashcan.
Jonny Fly
Wrong trilogy.
The robot opens and displays a hologram on a stand.
Holo-Jay Price
Sup niggas?
Jeff Purse
Oh, hi.
Jonny Fly
Good afternoon.
Corey Black
Salutations.
Holo-Jay Price
What are you guys up to?
Jeff Purse
Throwing three WCF Titles in a volcano to purge the evil that dwells within. That right, Corey?
Corey Black
More or less, yes indeed!
Holo-Jay Price
And you didn't invite me?
Jonny Fly
You're in China, right?
Holo-Jay Price
You're in New Zealand, right?
Jeff Purse
Middle Earth?
Corey Black
Tatooine?
Jonny Fly
WRONG. TRILOGY.
Holo-Jay Price
Well, continue on, I guess. Hashtag YOLO!
BOOM the robot explodes, because why not? In its place a phone booth lands, and out pops Kung-Fu Abe Lincoln. He throws the devil horns up.
Abraham Lincoln
PARTY ON, DUDES!
BOOM Abe explodes too, because why not?
Jonny Fly
I cannot believe come of the stuff that happens when we all get together.
Jeff Purse
It's like Kid Phantasm left us weed laced with almost everything under the sun.
Corey Black
I dunno, I like it.
Pantheon climbs the mountain in record time, making JBL look like a punk-ass bitch. At the mouth of the volcano, they all peer into it, looking down at the lava as it bubbles.
Corey Black
This is it, guys. These Titles need to go into that lava.
Jeff Purse
Uh.. check out that sign.
To the left is a wooden sign. It says "Pantheon was here, 20 minutes ago."
Jonny Fly
Yep, we were here about 20 minutes ago.
A GODDAMN DRAGON APPEARS.
Goddamn Dragon
I'm going to eat you douchebags.
Corey Black
lol, no.
BURNING HAMMER. A table flips.
Jonny Fly
Okay, this is ridiculous now!
We're not in Mordor or on Tatooine anymore. Instead, we're in Dethfort, where Jonny, Jeff and Corey were sitting around a table, playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. Jonny has since made that table be on its side and the papers and books strewn about.
Jeff Purse
Doesn't this game require dice of some kind? You were just making shit up as you went along, Corey.
Corey Black
I ... uh ... house rules?
Jonny Fly
Come on Jeff, let's get out of here. We have stuff to talk about.
Jeff and Jonny get up to leave, and Corey stays in his chair. Once the other Pantheon members are gone, Corey Black pulls off his face to reveal BRAD KANE! It was Brad Kane all along!
Jonny Fly
Oh for fucks sake man.
We're back in reality, the Dungeons and Dragon table set up nicely, Jeff Purse, Jonny Fly, and Corey Black all sitting around it.
Jeff Purse
Man, can we be done now? I feel like I need to wash my hands after that.
Jonny Fly
No kidding. I'm right behind you.
Jonny and Jeff leave for the bathroom, while Corey laughs and heads into the living quarters. He grabs a digital camera and begins filming himself, seemingly for WCF.com.
Corey Black
This week on Slam, Pantheon rolls three strong into the fires of the Trios Tournament. One week after Jonny Fly and I won the Tag Titles and Jeff Purse returned, four days after I outlasted nine or ten other people in a Battle Royal to win the Internet Championship. To say this week was very productive would be a mountain of an understatement. Pantheon is back to one hundred percent strength, and we're on a roll.
That's not to say we don't have our issues. There's a mess involving Sarah Twilight, there's a mess with statues, and there's a big mess concerning Jonny Fly. The more he talks, the smarter he sounds. Eric Price is on board, Gravedigger is teetering, but Jeff... Jeff's not all game yet. He's been out of action for a while, and as soon as he's back, he's supposedly spotted macking on Sarah Twilight. I mean, she's a schmexy redhead, so.. I guess I don't blame him if he did. Kari is, like, Persian or some shit, and she's hot as fire too. Whatever, all I know is that Purse is pulling all the trim, and he better share soon.
Jeff and Jonny come back from the bathroom, Corey continues recording.
Jeff Purse
What are you doing over there, man?
Corey Black
Recording a little something for WCF.com about our match.
Jonny Fly
Mention how you're going to elbow Brad Kane in his dick.
Corey turns back to the camera.
Corey Black
I am going to elbow Brad Kane directly in his dick.
Black turns to Fly, and they share a thumbs up salute.
Corey Black
This guy sends his kid out into the WCF wild for a while, then he just vanished, and now Brad's back. Great golly gee willickers, who signed the contact for that one? Sure as shit wasn't the Chief of Staff, if I had it my way, Brad would be our janitor. Guy has been around for years and years and he continues to be such a Creeping Death mark, I'd be surprised if he DIDN'T show up in white and black face paint. He's got some kind of 'crusade' against us, as if we're the bad guys, and he's not the one going around making false accusations. Newsflash genius, that car in the driveway of your house? Pantheon made it possible. One way or another, we are responsible for whatever you have. Maybe it's the 15% pay raise, maybe it's me being the driving force and keeping this company alive for so long, who knows really? More than anyone I can remember, you take WCF for granted and make it your personal playground for your entire extended family. 'But Corey blah blah you can't beat me hibbity dibbity' BLAH! Maybe that's true. Maybe it's now false. You haven't gotten a taste of what I am now capable of, have you Bradly? The last time we got in the ring together, you had traveled the world and made it your bitch while I sat in WCF and learned how to job to Logan. Now look at me, man. I've been across the globe too, I've won Titles in places you couldn't even cut the mustard in, and here you come, still thinking you're better than me. Bitch, please.
You'd be lucky to make it out remembering what Freya looks like, Kane. I'm coming at you with the force of the hundreds of dudes your ex-wife had come at her, except I'm going to deliver kicks and elbows while they delivered money shots and facials. See, I'm not even high enough on a horse to not do jizz jokes. That's what you have coming, Brad. You've been a thorn in my fucking side since 2004. Close to 9 years, you son of a bitch. I've watched you grow as a wrestler, and grow as an asshole. Your family grew too, but your asshole tendencies overshadows that fact. Chris should be ashamed to have your name to live up to. I bet if he was my son, he'd be proud to wrestle in WCF at such a young age. Fuck you, man. Just fuck you.
Jonny taps Corey on the shoulder, he's going nuts, Jonny tries to calm him down.
Jonny Fly
Holy shit dude, relax, We'll get him. Don't worry about it.
Corey Black
NO! We won't get anything! I will get Brad Kane! I'll skin him and make a rug out of his hide! I'll put his goddamn head on a stick outside my door! I'll... I'll...
Jeff Purse
You'll channel this rage and beat some ass?
Corey Black
Precisely! First, I'll make Brad Kane my woman. Then, I'm going to take Oblivion and make him admit he never beat me in GEW. That shit was a farce. 'It' doesn't have what it takes to beat a Man Made God like me. All the magic tricks, the blood, the gore, none of that phases me. When I look at Oblivion, I don't see a six and a half foot three hundred pound masked monster of destruction. I don't even see the Hardcore Champion. I see a guy with problems knowing who he is. I used to be that guy, I didn't know. Then I shaped the fuck up and figured it out. I'm a goddamn badass, what are you, Oblivion? A fucking dildo that doesn't know his place, that's what. You could come on TV fist-fucking a donkey, elbow deep, and the general public would roll they're eyes and be like 'oh-Blivion.' You're not shocking anymore, you're just annoying. Your in-ring work, while you hold a Title, I'll give you that, but your in-ring work is like wrestling an even older Odin Balfore. At least that guy is spending time in Japan to hone his craft. You, Oblivion, you're just fist-fucking a donkey.
Jonny Fly
Oblivion the dildo fist-fucking a donkey, you say this after the jizz jokes about Kane's ex-wife? Are you 14?
Corey Black
No, but that's how old Odin's grandchild is. You ancient motherfucker. Knees can snap any second, hair a white as the snow on top of Mount Doom...
Jeff Purse
There's no snow up there, dude.
Corey Black
I'VE NEVER SEEN THOSE MOVIES. Odin is tall, he's imposing, but he's fragile. He's powerbombed me to obscurity and fallen by my hand on the biggest stage of them all. What more is there to say about the guy?
Jeff Purse
It's Pantheon's turn to teach him what it's like to be elite?
Corey Black
I couldn't have said it better myself, Jeff. We're going to walk into this Trios Tournament and make bitches out of every last motherfucker that steps against us. Then we're going to take the World Title and completely rule the world. ONE FOR ALL...
Jonny Fly
WRONG GODDAMN MOVIE, COREY!
Fade.
