Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2013 3:25:36 GMT -5
February 23rd, 2013
Voice: "Sir I understand your reasoning, but the logic is still escaping me. Why go through with this when you could easily go about this the usual way?"
The voice of "Jay Fucking Price's Fucking Tower" can be heard as the scene slowly fades in on the inside of the tower. Jay is standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror in his bedroom messing with the tie around his neck.
Jay Price (mumbling to himself): "Over...under...rabbit goes around the...AH FUCK IT!"
Price rips off the tie and tosses it off to the side where it lands by a discarded bow tie.
Jay Price: "Never liked the damn things anyway."
Voice: "Sir?"
Jay Price: "I heard you, damn it. And thanks for the concern but trust me when I say I got this. Hell, I've been doing this shit for three years."
Voice: "And you've been trying to tie a tie for how long now?"
Jay Price: "Since when does a computer know about sarcasm?"
Voice: "I'm more than just a computer Sir. I'm a..."
Jay Price: "You're a bunch of nuts, bolts and wires that I can shut off with the press of a button."
Voice: "Touche, Sir."
At that moment Price's butler, Reginald, appears at the doorway to Price's room. He looks down at the discarded ties and sighs.
Reginald: "Would you like my assistance Sir?"
Jay Price: "Fuck that. Last time I let you put a tie around my neck I could have sworn you were trying to tie a noose."
Reginald (muttering to himself): "I would have done the world a favor."
Jay Price: "What was that?"
Reginald: "I said next time I'll have to be more careful. Is there anything I can do to help you prepare for later Sir?"
Jay Price: "Yeah, make up 2 drinks and have them sitting by the podium. And then make up 2 more and bring them to me."
Reginald: "Yes Sir."
Reginald turns to leave.
Jay Price: "Nuh uh. Do it the right way Reggie."
Reginald (sighing): "...Aye aye, Sir."
Jay Price: "Much better."
Reginald turns and leaves. Price waits for him to be out of earshot before he looks toward the little blue dot in the ceiling.
Jay Price: "Do me a favor and start searching for another butler. Something tells me that Reggie won't be around much longer.
Voice: "Do you believe he'll quit Sir?"
Jay Price: "Quit...fired...(muttering) thrown over the balcony. Something just tells me it isn't going to last."
Voice: "Aye aye Sir. The first of the reporters are beginning to arrive in the conference room. Shall I inform them that you're running a bit tardy?"
Jay Price: "Nah, I've found it's always best to keep the parasites that are the media waiting. When they're fired up they tend to not hold back on the questions. Makes for great viewing."
Voice: "You're the expert. Anything else I can do for you at this time Sir?"
Jay Price: "You're in a rush? What, you got a hot date with a porn site or something?"
Voice: "No Sir, but I do have duties that need to be completed."
Jay Price: "Heh, duties. All right, all right. Go do whatever it is that you do around here."
The little blue light in the ceiling goes out. Price turns back to the mirror and again begins fussing with the collar of his shirt. Finally he gives up on it and walks over to the dresser where he picks up his cell phone. A quick check of the time and his text messages and he tucks it away in his pocket. He debates on whether or not he should wear a jacket and then decides to go casual.
Jay Price: "All right, let's do this shit."
Price walks out of his bedroom and heads toward the elevator at the end of the hallway. He presses the button and then pulls his phone back out as he waits for the elevator to arrive. The sounds of 1970's porn music can be heard as the elevator arrives with a *DING*. The doors slide open, revealing Cameraman Bob sans camera, waiting inside. Price steps into the elevator and without looking presses the button for Floor #20. As the doors to the elevator slide shut, Bob leans over and looks over Price's shoulder at the porno.
Cameraman Bob: "Holy shit! Isn't that..."
Jay Price: "Yep."
Cameraman Bob: "From that show..."
Jay Price: "Yep."
Cameraman Bob: "How the hell did you pull that one off?"
Jay Price: "You'd be shocked what the promise of a meeting with Tom Cruise can make people do."
Cameraman Bob: "You know Tom Cruise?"
Jay Price: "I know a Tom Cruise. I never specified which."
Cameraman Bob: "And who's the other girl? I feel like I've seen her once before but I can't remember where."
Jay Price: "Sarah Lerch."
Cameraman Bob: "Sarah Lerch? Any relation to Seth and Shannan?"
Jay Price: "Yep, it's there mom."
Cameraman Bob: "..."
Price continues watching as Bob stares him down in disbelief.
Cameraman Bob: "What..The..FUCK?!?!"
Jay Price: "What?"
Cameraman Bob: "What do you mean what? How in the....why did you...dafuq Jay?"
Jay Price: "Look there's a very logical explanation for this."
Cameraman Bob: "Oh god, this should be good."
Jay Price: "Back when I was going over every possible way I could get back at Seth for ordering the hit that killed my kid, his mom called me up all sad and whatnot and she said she wanted to say how sorry she was for what Seth did. Apparently she was pretty devastated because he or she was going to be her first grandchild. And with Shannan being a walking STD of a whore and Seth being...well Seth, she was sure she had lost her only chance of being a grandmother. Anyway, we got to talking and I realized I had my method for revenge. We got together under the premise that I wanted to talk about my "grief", had a few drinks and then...BAM! I had that old broad in the backseat of her minivan doing the beast with two backs. One dose of revenge...and a few showers later...and the pics were all over the web."
Cameraman Bob: "..."
Jay Price: "Well that was all a year and half ago. Recently she got hold of me again, all upset because Seth had been let go as owner and the nursing home she was in was threatening to throw her out. She sounded desperate so I told her about a certain business opportunity, aka the video you're seeing now, and after about a day of deliberation she was in. Shot the video in a few hours and then it was all over the internet. I figured having it out there for everyone to see for free would just add a bit more insult to Seth."
Cameraman Bob: "You're the god damn devil."
Jay Price: "Nah, I'm just Jay Fucking Price."
The elevator finally comes to a halt at the twentieth floor and the doors slide open. Bob steps off first and waits as Price exits the elevator and walks up to the door labeled "Holographic Image Generator". Price pulls a key card from his pocket and waves it in front of a panel on the wall and a clicking sound can be heard as the door opens. Price pushes it the rest of the way open and steps inside as Bob follows. As soon as Price passes the doorframe, the rows of lights in the room slowly begin to come on. For the size of the room, it's surprisingly empty. The lone item in the entire room is a computer hooked up to a round platform on the ground.
Cameraman Bob: "So what, all of the guys in Pantheon have access to a hologram machine?"
Jay Price: "Aye."
Cameraman Bob: "And I just now finally saved up enough money to pay off the car I bought when I was 18. I swear to god, some people just get all the luck."
Jay Price: "Luck has nothing to do with it Bob. When you succeed at life like those of us in Pantheon have, good things just happen to you."
Cameraman Bob: "You guys need an official cameraman? I mean, I'm totally down with the whole Pantheon idea. Aye aye and yabba dabba and whatnot."
Jay Price: "First of all, Bob, never say yabba dabba again. You haven't earned that right. Secondly, we already have an offical cameraman."
Cameraman Bob: "You do?"
Jay Price: "Yep. We attached a little camera to the claw of Steven Seagull and he flies in a circle above us vidotaping what we do."
Cameraman Bob: "You have a seagull doing my job?"
Jay Price: "Yep. And he does a damn good job at it if I may say."
Cameraman Bob: "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
Jay Price: "That's nice. Now then, you stand over there by the computer and press the button when I say so. And for the love of god, don't fuck this up."
Cameraman Bob: "I'm pretty sure I'm capable of pressing a button."
Jay Price: "I wonder if it's too late to get Steven over here?"
Price shrugs his shoulders and steps onto the round platform as Bob takes a place in front of the computer. Price pulls some notecards out of his pocket, takes a last glance over his notes and then tosses them to the side. He looks over at Bob and nods. Bob nods back and presses the green button on the keyboard in front of him. A warm, blue light envelopes Price as the computer hums to life.
The scene quickly switches to the inside of a conference room where a group of agitated looking reporters are seated. Several are headed for the door, mumbling about wasted time, when the same warm blue light appears behind the podium at the front of the room. Seconds later the holographic image of Jay Price appears and walks up to the podium.
Jay Price: "Sorry to keep you all waiting, this technology is just such a bitch."
Price flashes a fake smile as the reporters head back and take their seats.
Jay Price: "I'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight. I promise you that the wait will be worth it as I have some things that I'm sure you'll all want to hear. There will be time for questions, I just ask that you remain seated and silent until I ask for questions. With that said, what's say we got started."
Reginald appears from out of nowhere beside Price back at the tower, a drink in each hand. He hands one to Price and then steps off to the side holding the other. As Price takes a drink, his hologram does the same.
Jay Price: "Now then, I'm sure all of you here tonight are expecting to hear the same old shit that you hear every week from everyone else in this business. You're probably expecting me to run down Stuart Slane, then make a prediction about the match and then maybe drop a few catchphrases that you can use for a sound bite. Am I right?"
The sea of reporters nod in agreement.
Jay Price: "Well fuck that. Tonight, I'm flipping the script. Shaking things up a bit. You see, there's something that I've noticed about Stuart Slane as of late. And no, it's not the whole "hanging out with children while wearing short shorts" thing. Trust me, we've all noticed that. No, what I've noticed is that old Stu has a thing for exposing people. Take Jonny Fly as the most recent example. All Jonny was trying to do was lead this company back to greatness and show the world what the WCF could be with a competent owner. And what did Slane do? Do everything in his power to try and falsely expose Fly as some kind of deviant. Bullshit, right?"
Again the sea of reporters nod in agreement.
Jay Price: "Well I say to Stuart Slane: You, sir, will not expose Jay Price. Because tonight, Jay Price exposes himself."
The crowd pulls out their cells phones in anticipation of what is to come.
Jay Price: "Oh, no. Nothing like that folks. Trust me, none of you have enough money or good looks to see that. No, tonight I will do what Stuart Slane loves to do the most and go on record on all of the subjects of my life that I hold private. The skeletons in my closet will be put on display for the world to see. And why you ask? Well mainly it's because I want to throw a Jay Price cock sized wrench into his gameplan. But also I want to give Stuart the challenge of going on a talk show or a web show or whatever other type of media forum it is that he likes to use, and say something besides the normal, tired, overused shit that he normally does. So what do you say folks, you ready to hear some shit that will blow your mind?"
The reporters pull out their pens and notepads as the cameramen zoom in on Price.
Jay Price: "Good. First things first, let's dive right into one of the juicier topics: Shannan Lerch. You all remember that train wreck of a relationship. I started banging her to rub it in the face of Logan, then eventually the face of Seth, and somehow I let the hoe get a little too close. That cooled off until a one night stand resulted in a pregnancy, which was then ended when Seth hired Logan's brother, my half-brother, Rage to attack her and kill off the kid. Now the general consensus is that the relationship was also a ploy to help me get to the top of the ladder. And for years I denied it. Well...it's the truth."
A gasp from the crowd.
Jay Price: "Look, don't judge me. I had been with this company for a short time and I wanted to make an impact. I saw Logan, who at the time I saw as a veteran with a bit of an illustrious career but was on the decline, and I thought that taking him out would get my name out there. So I started banging Shannan, rubbing it in his face, and I got what I wanted out of it. With Seth, I figured banging his sister would get me on his good side and it would get me some favorable actions. So yes, I screwed Shannan to get to the top but only got like halfway up because, well even though Shannan was his sister, she was still a whore and I wasn't the first to try it. True story. That vag was like the tunnels you see football players coming out of onto the field. To this day I'm still getting tested because I'm afraid that there's some super STD that's been laying dormant."
A reporter raises their hand and Price looks at him.
Jay Price: "I did say to hold off on the questions, but go ahead."
The reporter stands up.
Reporter: "Any chance you could use another metaphor?"
Jay Price: "Sure. I'm guessing more than a few of you have seen the original Star Wars trilogy. You remember how big and wide the sarlacc was? Get rid of the teeth and then make it a bit more open and you'll have an idea of what it looked like down there. I could have been down there poking around with a tire iron and I'm sure she never would have felt a thing."
Reporter: "Thank you."
The reporter sits back down.
Jay Price: "All right, enough about Shannan Lerch's gaping vag. What's say we talk about another part of my past that I wish I could go back and terminate Schwarzenegger style, Logan. Now as I'm sure most, if not all, of you know, Logan is unfortunately my half brother. It's not something I like to talk about often as every day I wish that it's just a bad dream, but it's a reality. I don't know all of the story, and I really don't want to know it to be honest, but his mother apparently had an affair with my biological father. I don't know when, hell I never met the bastard after he ran off during my second birthday party, but it happened. There were DNA tests, many DNA tests to be exact, and each showed the same result: Logan and I are indeed related. I will never accept Logan as family, nor will I ever reconcile with him. As it stands, if the bastard were to drop dead tomorrow I would only attend his funeral so I could spit on his body and dance on his grave. I've tried in the past to kill him, usually in retaliation for his own attacks on me, and if he ever shows his face in the WCF again he can expect yet another one. Questions?"
Several hands shoot up but Price waves them off.
Jay Price: "None, good. Next topic is going to be short and to the point. It's been brought to my attention that more than a few people believe that I have an alcohol problem. That is false. My drinking is one hundred percent under control and if I wanted to stop right now I could do just that."
At that moment Reginald steps forward and hands Price a fresh drink.
Jay Price: "But that's not going to happen because I don't have a problem. Do I like to enjoy the occasional bottle of Jack Daniels from time to time? Yes. Have I appeared intoxicated at several fast food establishments while on camera? Yes. But I have never, and I mean never, been intoxicated when I was wrestling. I take my job quite seriously and would never risk my own safety."
Again a hand goes up and Price points to the person. The reporter stands up.
Reporter: "Mr. Price you say you'd never risk your own safety, but what about the reports that you've battled addiction to painkillers while recovering from your neck injuries? Wouldn't such an addiction be a serious health risk?"
The reporter sits back down and readies his pen. Price does not look amused.
Jay Price: "I see someone does his homework. All right, I said anything goes. Have I ever battled an addiction to painkillers? Yes. In fact I still do battle the addiction to this day. It started after my initial neck injury and subsequent surgery when I was prescribed some powerful pills to help with the pain. Once I ran out all I wanted was more. And I got them. And then I got some more. It took a good while for the people around me to find out about the problem and get me the help I needed. And I stayed clean for a while, but then came the next neck injury and with it another surgery and pills. The cycle started all over again and I was right back where I was. It took a bit to get clean and I still am to this day, but the temptation is there. Everytime I feel a twinge in my neck or some stiffness in the morning, I think about one of those magic little pills and the relief they bring. But I fight the urge and drink because at least then I don't have to worry about a drug test."
Price takes a sip of his drink and then continues.
Jay Price: "And while we're on the subject of fighting things, let me address the anger issues that people like to talk about. Do I get angry? Yes. Do I get angry at little things? Yes. Has my anger resulted in violence toward a loved one? No, because no one loves Hank Brown. Look, I have a stressful job. Everyday I have to deal with assholes, dickheads, whiny little bitches, idiots, snakes and boudles. You find me one person in this company, hell in this whole damn business, who doesn't have an anger problem and I'll show you a fucking liar. Hell I can't even deal with half of the people around me when I'm drunk. What's that tell you about the people I have to work with?"
Cameraman Bob: "How does that explain Tijuana?"
Jay Price: "You shut your mouth about Tijuana!"
Reporter: "Who was that and what happened in Tijuana?"
Jay Price: "Damn it! You see what you and your big mouth did? The voice you heard belongs to Cameraman Bob, he is here in the room with me back at the tower. And as for what happened in Tijuana, well long story short Hank Brown got drunk and I left him at a warehouse in Tijuana with some loan sharks that I owed money too. Apparently down there the loan sharks have a thing for rotund men with mustaches."
Reporter: "Are you saying..."
Jay Price: "Yes, I got out of a debt in Tijuana by giving them Hank Brown to act as a...shall we say "facilitator". And judging by the fact that he's still alive, I'd say he did a bang up job."
Reporter: "That...that's just horrible."
Jay Price: "Hey, it was either give them Hank or let them take my wheels. And there was no way in hell I was giving up the Jay Price Shaggin' Wagon Supreme."
Reporter: "Supreme?"
Jay Price: "It had spinners. Bitches love spinners."
The reporter shakes their head and sits back down. Price finishes off the drink in his hand and tosses it off to the side.
Jay Price: "Seeing as how we were just talking about Hank Brown's finest moment, allow me to continue on to the next topic at hand. There's been talk that some of my sexual exploits have crossed a line. Most examples involve Shannan Lerch and that whole period of my life. Others like to bring up my continuous trips to the fine strip clubs of America and the fact that I now have a strip club of my own in my tower. To those people who say I have a problem, I say nay. Where you see a sexual addiction, I see me helping those in need. It's common knowledge that anyone who is stripping is only doing it because they need the money. And I am the one that cares enough to finance their dreams. For every 19 year old struggling to pay tuition, I'm right there stuffing dollar bills into her g-string to help get her closer to her goal. Hell, that's the whole reason I opened the strip club in my tower. The girls get to earn the money that they need so badly, and I get to feel good about myself. Very, very good about myself."
Price winks at the crowd. The men applaud while the women try to throw up in their mouths.
Jay Price: "So for those that chastise me for my affinity for the naked female form, I ask but one question: Why do you hate America?"
Price raises up one thumb toward the camera as the crowd seems confused. A reporter raises their hand but Price waves it off.
Jay Price: "Nope, that was self explanatory. If you couldn't understand it then go back to school because you're fucking stupid."
Price signals to Reginald to bring him another drink but Reginald's hands are empty.
Jay Price: "Dafuq Reggie? How many times have I told you to always be prepared. Do I have to send you over to the Scoutmaster's camp to learn the ways?"
Reginald violently shakes his head no.
Jay Price: "Well get your shit together or that's where you'll be headed. Now go get me another drink you fucker."
Reginald scampers off as Price shakes his head.
Jay Price: "You just can't get good help these days. Am I right?"
The crowd remain silent. None of them knows the joys of having people to do whatever the fuck you tell them.
Jay Price: "Now then, I suppose I'll take a break from being the one to bring up subjects and turn the tables over to you. Come on now, leave no stone unturned. Don't be afraid to really ask the hard hitting questions."
A reporter raises her hand and Price points to her.
Reporter: "There has been a lot of criticism over your decision to join Pantheon, even today. Most of it stems from the fact that when you rejected a contract offer from Seth Lerch on live television, one of the things you talked about was your opinions of the stables around at the time and how you thought they were going to kill this company. Pantheon, of course, was one of the stables around at that time. What do you have to say about this?"
Jay Price: "All right, let's just put this issue to bed because I'm as tired of hearing about it as you all are. To the people that like to point this out and make little comments, fuck off. You don't understand where I was at when I was doing that live appearance. I was pissed off at Seth Lerch, at the WCF and at the world in general. I had just gotten a figurative slap to the face in the form of a contract that was a joke and I wanted to vent. Did I have opinions about the stables? Yes. But I had no opinions about the stables themselves. At the time I couldn't give a flying fuck about the Church of the Dark Saints or Genesis or even Pantheon. My opinion was about the fact that you had all these big stables and little stables littering the company and all battling for control. What was the point of it all? What was the end game? When I looked at the situation I saw something that was going to end up tearing this company apart because there was an owner in place that could never control the situation. When I ended up returning with Jonny Fly and Pantheon, it was because I had taken the time to look at the situation again. I was wrong about the company imploding from within. There, I said it. I was wrong. What I saw was that Pantheon had risen above the other stables in terms of importance and that they had a mission that was worth fighting for. They didn't want to exist solely to be the most dominant group, they wanted to exist because they knew they were what WCF needed. In a company where the owner was corrupt and the people he was supposed to be in charge of were out of control, Pantheon wanted change. And that was something I could get behind. All along all I've wanted was to get Seth Lerch far away from WCF so that it could become what it had the potential to become. And I could never do that alone, so Pantheon and I were a perfect fit."
Reginald finally returns with another drink and Price takes a sip before continuing.
Jay Price: "To those who say that I'm only with this group because I want to get myself to the top of the proverbial ladder without earning it, I say get a brain. I joined this group before we took control of this company. I joined this group before I even first heard about a plan to get Seth Lerch out of the ownership seat and to get Jonny in. I joined this group without even having the faintest clue that I would soon end up sitting on the Board of Directors. And as for the Unites States Title match, don't accuse me or Jonny Fly of using our power to make the match happen. Only a moron would think of opening his mouth and uttering such nonsense. I earned this match weeks before I even joined Pantheon. I beat Odin Balfore and Oblivion for the right to be named the number one contender for the United States Title on the same night that Seth Lerch had me sent to a nut house on some bogus bullshit tests. It wasn't until weeks later that Jonny Fly would contact me and tell me all of the details of what had been really going on. So to say that Pantheon is abusing their powers by having this match, a match that I had been repeatedly denied despite having the right to be in it, is beyond absurd. It's simply stupid. Then again, with the people who have been claiming it I suppose it should be expected."
Price raises his glass in the air and then takes another sip.
Jay Price: "Any other skeletons you guys want to dig up? The near riot in Mexico? More details on the whole quitting interview? The one night stand with Seth's mom?"
That last one gets a collective gasp from the crowd.
Jay Price: "Ah, that's right you guys never had an idea about that. Long story short, I banged Seth's mom and never called her back. These days she's a bit low on money, what with her kid barely getting a salary and unable to afford care for her, so I talked her into doing a porno. You can see it for free, just go to SethsMomDoesAnythingdotcom and you can see her...well doing just about anything."
The men in the audience scribble down the web address as the women look horrified.
Jay Price: "Don't look so shocked ladies. Where did you think Shannan learned all her best moves?"
And with that Price again raises his glass in a mock toast and finishes off his drink. He tosses it off to the side.
Jay Price: "All right folks, that's all I got for you guys. I hope you got everything you need for one hell of a story. Bob, hit the button."
Bob presses the red button on the keyboard and the hologram of Price begins to fade out. Finally it's gone with a *pop* and the crowd is left alone.
Back in the room Price steps off the platform and looks over at Bob.
Jay Price: "What did you think?"
Cameraman Bob: "I don't know man. Going out there and putting it all out for everyone to hear? I mean, you're giving Slane and everyone else an arsenal of material to destroy you with. You could end up as a laughingstock within days."
Jay Price: "You're thinking about this all wrong Bob. Yes, I gave out all of my dirty little secrets, but the point was to make everyone else realize just how tired and old it is to keep bringing them up. I swear, every week all I hear from people is "Pantheon is the only reason Price is getting this match or that match" or "Price is a drunk and needs to get fired". It's old Bob, all of it. And you know what, you're probably right. We're probably going to keep hearing the same old shit for weeks and months and years to come. But maybe, just maybe, someone out there will get the hint and decide to come up with something original. And if just one person does that, then I've succeeded."
Cameraman Bob: "I dunno Jay, I just don't think this is going to go the way you think it will."
Jay Price: "Shut up Bob. What do you know anyway? If you're so damn smart why are you still running around with a camera? Why aren't you working for NASA or teaching at MIT?"
Bob says nothing as Price walks over to the elevator and presses the button. The doors slide open and both men step in. Price hits the button for the rooftop condo.
Cameraman Bob: "All right, let's forget about all of that. You spent all of that time talking and barely acknowledged the match you have for the US Title."
Jay Price: "Don't be ignorant Bob, of course I acknowledged it. You just couldn't comprehend the magnitude of what I was saying."
Cameraman Bob: "Okay fine, then why don't you give the dumbed down version to me?"
Jay Price (sighing): "Very well. It's simple Bob, this match is what I've been waiting months for. I've been screaming from the rooftops that I wanted the US Title Match that I earned and finally the night has come. Stuart Slane has been trying his damnedest to keep it away from me, hell he even caused poor Jonny Fly to be taken away by the FBI, but it's finally time. And I will tell you what I told Jonny, I will not piss away this opportunity. All the work I did to get the match and all the work I did to make sure it happened will not be for naught. My very first US Title Match in my career will end with me standing over Stuart Slane, one foot on his chest, as I hold the US Title over my head in victory."
The elevator reaches the top floor and the doors slide open. Price steps out, followed by Bob. Price continues to speak as they walk the hallway.
Jay Price: "Bob, I've never wanted something more. I've fought to get into a World Title Match. I've fought to win a World Title and I've fought to keep it. I've even fought in WAR Matches trying to get my name into a record book. But for all of the battles I've been a part of, I can never remember wanting to win so badly. I don't know what it is exactly, something just feels different. It's not the history that will be made, it's not the idea of having another title belt to wear around my waist...it's something different. Something I've never felt."
Cameraman Bob: "Desperation?"
Jay Price: "Don't be stupid Bob. This isn't desperation, it's...it's almost like satisfaction. It's as if winning this match will be my way of showing myself that I've still got it. Don't get me wrong, I've never felt like I've lost it, but this is just going to be that one thing that cements it in my mind."
Cameraman Bob: "Okay, you're getting sentimental on me and I don't like it."
Jay Price: "Yeah, it is getting a bit sappy in here I suppose."
The pair arrive in Price's living room and take a seat on the couch.
Cameraman Bob: "Well let me say this, I'm rooting for you more than ever. I don't know what it is, but Slane just makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't even have to be near him, just hearing his voice on television makes me feel like he's standing behind me blowing air into my ear."
Jay Price: "I know what you mean. We've both seen a lot of people come and go, but this guy...this guy is just what the fuck. I mean, I'm not going to go out and start spreading accusations about his personal business, but the whole "Scoutmaster" thing feels like a front for some seriously shady shit. I feel like we should get Geraldo to go in and do an investigation."
Cameraman Bob: "I'd be afraid for what he'd find."
Jay Price: "That makes two of us. And you know, I'm really starting to get tired of these whiny champions that do nothing but bitch about having to defend their belts. "Oh no, I have to defend my title again? Well let me just start crying about it to everyone within earshot." When the fuck did the champions in the company turn into a bunch of nutless bitches?"
Cameraman Bob: "I blame Obama."
Jay Price: "Seems legit. But that's one of the other main reasons why I need to win this match Bob. Between Eric Price running and ducking challengers left and right and Slane doing every shady trick in the book to get out of this match with me, it's high time someone that actually has a pair of danglers was a champion. You know, give the people someone they can actually be proud of."
Cameraman Bob: "Here here!"
Jay Price: "You know, even I'll admit it's crazy that I'm set to become the only champion that the people can look up to. I mean, a drunk womanizer that films pornos featuring his ex-bosses mom? Dafuq man?"
Cameraman Bob: "You're bashing yourself? All right, I think you've had enough to drink for today."
Jay Price: "Fuck that, I say we hit up hooters and tip the waitresses until they let us drink beer off their tits."
Cameraman Bob: "Well you are the expert drinker. I'll drive!"
The scene fades out as Bob and Price push themselves up off of the couch and head back toward the elevator.
Voice: "Sir I understand your reasoning, but the logic is still escaping me. Why go through with this when you could easily go about this the usual way?"
The voice of "Jay Fucking Price's Fucking Tower" can be heard as the scene slowly fades in on the inside of the tower. Jay is standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror in his bedroom messing with the tie around his neck.
Jay Price (mumbling to himself): "Over...under...rabbit goes around the...AH FUCK IT!"
Price rips off the tie and tosses it off to the side where it lands by a discarded bow tie.
Jay Price: "Never liked the damn things anyway."
Voice: "Sir?"
Jay Price: "I heard you, damn it. And thanks for the concern but trust me when I say I got this. Hell, I've been doing this shit for three years."
Voice: "And you've been trying to tie a tie for how long now?"
Jay Price: "Since when does a computer know about sarcasm?"
Voice: "I'm more than just a computer Sir. I'm a..."
Jay Price: "You're a bunch of nuts, bolts and wires that I can shut off with the press of a button."
Voice: "Touche, Sir."
At that moment Price's butler, Reginald, appears at the doorway to Price's room. He looks down at the discarded ties and sighs.
Reginald: "Would you like my assistance Sir?"
Jay Price: "Fuck that. Last time I let you put a tie around my neck I could have sworn you were trying to tie a noose."
Reginald (muttering to himself): "I would have done the world a favor."
Jay Price: "What was that?"
Reginald: "I said next time I'll have to be more careful. Is there anything I can do to help you prepare for later Sir?"
Jay Price: "Yeah, make up 2 drinks and have them sitting by the podium. And then make up 2 more and bring them to me."
Reginald: "Yes Sir."
Reginald turns to leave.
Jay Price: "Nuh uh. Do it the right way Reggie."
Reginald (sighing): "...Aye aye, Sir."
Jay Price: "Much better."
Reginald turns and leaves. Price waits for him to be out of earshot before he looks toward the little blue dot in the ceiling.
Jay Price: "Do me a favor and start searching for another butler. Something tells me that Reggie won't be around much longer.
Voice: "Do you believe he'll quit Sir?"
Jay Price: "Quit...fired...(muttering) thrown over the balcony. Something just tells me it isn't going to last."
Voice: "Aye aye Sir. The first of the reporters are beginning to arrive in the conference room. Shall I inform them that you're running a bit tardy?"
Jay Price: "Nah, I've found it's always best to keep the parasites that are the media waiting. When they're fired up they tend to not hold back on the questions. Makes for great viewing."
Voice: "You're the expert. Anything else I can do for you at this time Sir?"
Jay Price: "You're in a rush? What, you got a hot date with a porn site or something?"
Voice: "No Sir, but I do have duties that need to be completed."
Jay Price: "Heh, duties. All right, all right. Go do whatever it is that you do around here."
The little blue light in the ceiling goes out. Price turns back to the mirror and again begins fussing with the collar of his shirt. Finally he gives up on it and walks over to the dresser where he picks up his cell phone. A quick check of the time and his text messages and he tucks it away in his pocket. He debates on whether or not he should wear a jacket and then decides to go casual.
Jay Price: "All right, let's do this shit."
Price walks out of his bedroom and heads toward the elevator at the end of the hallway. He presses the button and then pulls his phone back out as he waits for the elevator to arrive. The sounds of 1970's porn music can be heard as the elevator arrives with a *DING*. The doors slide open, revealing Cameraman Bob sans camera, waiting inside. Price steps into the elevator and without looking presses the button for Floor #20. As the doors to the elevator slide shut, Bob leans over and looks over Price's shoulder at the porno.
Cameraman Bob: "Holy shit! Isn't that..."
Jay Price: "Yep."
Cameraman Bob: "From that show..."
Jay Price: "Yep."
Cameraman Bob: "How the hell did you pull that one off?"
Jay Price: "You'd be shocked what the promise of a meeting with Tom Cruise can make people do."
Cameraman Bob: "You know Tom Cruise?"
Jay Price: "I know a Tom Cruise. I never specified which."
Cameraman Bob: "And who's the other girl? I feel like I've seen her once before but I can't remember where."
Jay Price: "Sarah Lerch."
Cameraman Bob: "Sarah Lerch? Any relation to Seth and Shannan?"
Jay Price: "Yep, it's there mom."
Cameraman Bob: "..."
Price continues watching as Bob stares him down in disbelief.
Cameraman Bob: "What..The..FUCK?!?!"
Jay Price: "What?"
Cameraman Bob: "What do you mean what? How in the....why did you...dafuq Jay?"
Jay Price: "Look there's a very logical explanation for this."
Cameraman Bob: "Oh god, this should be good."
Jay Price: "Back when I was going over every possible way I could get back at Seth for ordering the hit that killed my kid, his mom called me up all sad and whatnot and she said she wanted to say how sorry she was for what Seth did. Apparently she was pretty devastated because he or she was going to be her first grandchild. And with Shannan being a walking STD of a whore and Seth being...well Seth, she was sure she had lost her only chance of being a grandmother. Anyway, we got to talking and I realized I had my method for revenge. We got together under the premise that I wanted to talk about my "grief", had a few drinks and then...BAM! I had that old broad in the backseat of her minivan doing the beast with two backs. One dose of revenge...and a few showers later...and the pics were all over the web."
Cameraman Bob: "..."
Jay Price: "Well that was all a year and half ago. Recently she got hold of me again, all upset because Seth had been let go as owner and the nursing home she was in was threatening to throw her out. She sounded desperate so I told her about a certain business opportunity, aka the video you're seeing now, and after about a day of deliberation she was in. Shot the video in a few hours and then it was all over the internet. I figured having it out there for everyone to see for free would just add a bit more insult to Seth."
Cameraman Bob: "You're the god damn devil."
Jay Price: "Nah, I'm just Jay Fucking Price."
The elevator finally comes to a halt at the twentieth floor and the doors slide open. Bob steps off first and waits as Price exits the elevator and walks up to the door labeled "Holographic Image Generator". Price pulls a key card from his pocket and waves it in front of a panel on the wall and a clicking sound can be heard as the door opens. Price pushes it the rest of the way open and steps inside as Bob follows. As soon as Price passes the doorframe, the rows of lights in the room slowly begin to come on. For the size of the room, it's surprisingly empty. The lone item in the entire room is a computer hooked up to a round platform on the ground.
Cameraman Bob: "So what, all of the guys in Pantheon have access to a hologram machine?"
Jay Price: "Aye."
Cameraman Bob: "And I just now finally saved up enough money to pay off the car I bought when I was 18. I swear to god, some people just get all the luck."
Jay Price: "Luck has nothing to do with it Bob. When you succeed at life like those of us in Pantheon have, good things just happen to you."
Cameraman Bob: "You guys need an official cameraman? I mean, I'm totally down with the whole Pantheon idea. Aye aye and yabba dabba and whatnot."
Jay Price: "First of all, Bob, never say yabba dabba again. You haven't earned that right. Secondly, we already have an offical cameraman."
Cameraman Bob: "You do?"
Jay Price: "Yep. We attached a little camera to the claw of Steven Seagull and he flies in a circle above us vidotaping what we do."
Cameraman Bob: "You have a seagull doing my job?"
Jay Price: "Yep. And he does a damn good job at it if I may say."
Cameraman Bob: "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
Jay Price: "That's nice. Now then, you stand over there by the computer and press the button when I say so. And for the love of god, don't fuck this up."
Cameraman Bob: "I'm pretty sure I'm capable of pressing a button."
Jay Price: "I wonder if it's too late to get Steven over here?"
Price shrugs his shoulders and steps onto the round platform as Bob takes a place in front of the computer. Price pulls some notecards out of his pocket, takes a last glance over his notes and then tosses them to the side. He looks over at Bob and nods. Bob nods back and presses the green button on the keyboard in front of him. A warm, blue light envelopes Price as the computer hums to life.
The scene quickly switches to the inside of a conference room where a group of agitated looking reporters are seated. Several are headed for the door, mumbling about wasted time, when the same warm blue light appears behind the podium at the front of the room. Seconds later the holographic image of Jay Price appears and walks up to the podium.
Jay Price: "Sorry to keep you all waiting, this technology is just such a bitch."
Price flashes a fake smile as the reporters head back and take their seats.
Jay Price: "I'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight. I promise you that the wait will be worth it as I have some things that I'm sure you'll all want to hear. There will be time for questions, I just ask that you remain seated and silent until I ask for questions. With that said, what's say we got started."
Reginald appears from out of nowhere beside Price back at the tower, a drink in each hand. He hands one to Price and then steps off to the side holding the other. As Price takes a drink, his hologram does the same.
Jay Price: "Now then, I'm sure all of you here tonight are expecting to hear the same old shit that you hear every week from everyone else in this business. You're probably expecting me to run down Stuart Slane, then make a prediction about the match and then maybe drop a few catchphrases that you can use for a sound bite. Am I right?"
The sea of reporters nod in agreement.
Jay Price: "Well fuck that. Tonight, I'm flipping the script. Shaking things up a bit. You see, there's something that I've noticed about Stuart Slane as of late. And no, it's not the whole "hanging out with children while wearing short shorts" thing. Trust me, we've all noticed that. No, what I've noticed is that old Stu has a thing for exposing people. Take Jonny Fly as the most recent example. All Jonny was trying to do was lead this company back to greatness and show the world what the WCF could be with a competent owner. And what did Slane do? Do everything in his power to try and falsely expose Fly as some kind of deviant. Bullshit, right?"
Again the sea of reporters nod in agreement.
Jay Price: "Well I say to Stuart Slane: You, sir, will not expose Jay Price. Because tonight, Jay Price exposes himself."
The crowd pulls out their cells phones in anticipation of what is to come.
Jay Price: "Oh, no. Nothing like that folks. Trust me, none of you have enough money or good looks to see that. No, tonight I will do what Stuart Slane loves to do the most and go on record on all of the subjects of my life that I hold private. The skeletons in my closet will be put on display for the world to see. And why you ask? Well mainly it's because I want to throw a Jay Price cock sized wrench into his gameplan. But also I want to give Stuart the challenge of going on a talk show or a web show or whatever other type of media forum it is that he likes to use, and say something besides the normal, tired, overused shit that he normally does. So what do you say folks, you ready to hear some shit that will blow your mind?"
The reporters pull out their pens and notepads as the cameramen zoom in on Price.
Jay Price: "Good. First things first, let's dive right into one of the juicier topics: Shannan Lerch. You all remember that train wreck of a relationship. I started banging her to rub it in the face of Logan, then eventually the face of Seth, and somehow I let the hoe get a little too close. That cooled off until a one night stand resulted in a pregnancy, which was then ended when Seth hired Logan's brother, my half-brother, Rage to attack her and kill off the kid. Now the general consensus is that the relationship was also a ploy to help me get to the top of the ladder. And for years I denied it. Well...it's the truth."
A gasp from the crowd.
Jay Price: "Look, don't judge me. I had been with this company for a short time and I wanted to make an impact. I saw Logan, who at the time I saw as a veteran with a bit of an illustrious career but was on the decline, and I thought that taking him out would get my name out there. So I started banging Shannan, rubbing it in his face, and I got what I wanted out of it. With Seth, I figured banging his sister would get me on his good side and it would get me some favorable actions. So yes, I screwed Shannan to get to the top but only got like halfway up because, well even though Shannan was his sister, she was still a whore and I wasn't the first to try it. True story. That vag was like the tunnels you see football players coming out of onto the field. To this day I'm still getting tested because I'm afraid that there's some super STD that's been laying dormant."
A reporter raises their hand and Price looks at him.
Jay Price: "I did say to hold off on the questions, but go ahead."
The reporter stands up.
Reporter: "Any chance you could use another metaphor?"
Jay Price: "Sure. I'm guessing more than a few of you have seen the original Star Wars trilogy. You remember how big and wide the sarlacc was? Get rid of the teeth and then make it a bit more open and you'll have an idea of what it looked like down there. I could have been down there poking around with a tire iron and I'm sure she never would have felt a thing."
Reporter: "Thank you."
The reporter sits back down.
Jay Price: "All right, enough about Shannan Lerch's gaping vag. What's say we talk about another part of my past that I wish I could go back and terminate Schwarzenegger style, Logan. Now as I'm sure most, if not all, of you know, Logan is unfortunately my half brother. It's not something I like to talk about often as every day I wish that it's just a bad dream, but it's a reality. I don't know all of the story, and I really don't want to know it to be honest, but his mother apparently had an affair with my biological father. I don't know when, hell I never met the bastard after he ran off during my second birthday party, but it happened. There were DNA tests, many DNA tests to be exact, and each showed the same result: Logan and I are indeed related. I will never accept Logan as family, nor will I ever reconcile with him. As it stands, if the bastard were to drop dead tomorrow I would only attend his funeral so I could spit on his body and dance on his grave. I've tried in the past to kill him, usually in retaliation for his own attacks on me, and if he ever shows his face in the WCF again he can expect yet another one. Questions?"
Several hands shoot up but Price waves them off.
Jay Price: "None, good. Next topic is going to be short and to the point. It's been brought to my attention that more than a few people believe that I have an alcohol problem. That is false. My drinking is one hundred percent under control and if I wanted to stop right now I could do just that."
At that moment Reginald steps forward and hands Price a fresh drink.
Jay Price: "But that's not going to happen because I don't have a problem. Do I like to enjoy the occasional bottle of Jack Daniels from time to time? Yes. Have I appeared intoxicated at several fast food establishments while on camera? Yes. But I have never, and I mean never, been intoxicated when I was wrestling. I take my job quite seriously and would never risk my own safety."
Again a hand goes up and Price points to the person. The reporter stands up.
Reporter: "Mr. Price you say you'd never risk your own safety, but what about the reports that you've battled addiction to painkillers while recovering from your neck injuries? Wouldn't such an addiction be a serious health risk?"
The reporter sits back down and readies his pen. Price does not look amused.
Jay Price: "I see someone does his homework. All right, I said anything goes. Have I ever battled an addiction to painkillers? Yes. In fact I still do battle the addiction to this day. It started after my initial neck injury and subsequent surgery when I was prescribed some powerful pills to help with the pain. Once I ran out all I wanted was more. And I got them. And then I got some more. It took a good while for the people around me to find out about the problem and get me the help I needed. And I stayed clean for a while, but then came the next neck injury and with it another surgery and pills. The cycle started all over again and I was right back where I was. It took a bit to get clean and I still am to this day, but the temptation is there. Everytime I feel a twinge in my neck or some stiffness in the morning, I think about one of those magic little pills and the relief they bring. But I fight the urge and drink because at least then I don't have to worry about a drug test."
Price takes a sip of his drink and then continues.
Jay Price: "And while we're on the subject of fighting things, let me address the anger issues that people like to talk about. Do I get angry? Yes. Do I get angry at little things? Yes. Has my anger resulted in violence toward a loved one? No, because no one loves Hank Brown. Look, I have a stressful job. Everyday I have to deal with assholes, dickheads, whiny little bitches, idiots, snakes and boudles. You find me one person in this company, hell in this whole damn business, who doesn't have an anger problem and I'll show you a fucking liar. Hell I can't even deal with half of the people around me when I'm drunk. What's that tell you about the people I have to work with?"
Cameraman Bob: "How does that explain Tijuana?"
Jay Price: "You shut your mouth about Tijuana!"
Reporter: "Who was that and what happened in Tijuana?"
Jay Price: "Damn it! You see what you and your big mouth did? The voice you heard belongs to Cameraman Bob, he is here in the room with me back at the tower. And as for what happened in Tijuana, well long story short Hank Brown got drunk and I left him at a warehouse in Tijuana with some loan sharks that I owed money too. Apparently down there the loan sharks have a thing for rotund men with mustaches."
Reporter: "Are you saying..."
Jay Price: "Yes, I got out of a debt in Tijuana by giving them Hank Brown to act as a...shall we say "facilitator". And judging by the fact that he's still alive, I'd say he did a bang up job."
Reporter: "That...that's just horrible."
Jay Price: "Hey, it was either give them Hank or let them take my wheels. And there was no way in hell I was giving up the Jay Price Shaggin' Wagon Supreme."
Reporter: "Supreme?"
Jay Price: "It had spinners. Bitches love spinners."
The reporter shakes their head and sits back down. Price finishes off the drink in his hand and tosses it off to the side.
Jay Price: "Seeing as how we were just talking about Hank Brown's finest moment, allow me to continue on to the next topic at hand. There's been talk that some of my sexual exploits have crossed a line. Most examples involve Shannan Lerch and that whole period of my life. Others like to bring up my continuous trips to the fine strip clubs of America and the fact that I now have a strip club of my own in my tower. To those people who say I have a problem, I say nay. Where you see a sexual addiction, I see me helping those in need. It's common knowledge that anyone who is stripping is only doing it because they need the money. And I am the one that cares enough to finance their dreams. For every 19 year old struggling to pay tuition, I'm right there stuffing dollar bills into her g-string to help get her closer to her goal. Hell, that's the whole reason I opened the strip club in my tower. The girls get to earn the money that they need so badly, and I get to feel good about myself. Very, very good about myself."
Price winks at the crowd. The men applaud while the women try to throw up in their mouths.
Jay Price: "So for those that chastise me for my affinity for the naked female form, I ask but one question: Why do you hate America?"
Price raises up one thumb toward the camera as the crowd seems confused. A reporter raises their hand but Price waves it off.
Jay Price: "Nope, that was self explanatory. If you couldn't understand it then go back to school because you're fucking stupid."
Price signals to Reginald to bring him another drink but Reginald's hands are empty.
Jay Price: "Dafuq Reggie? How many times have I told you to always be prepared. Do I have to send you over to the Scoutmaster's camp to learn the ways?"
Reginald violently shakes his head no.
Jay Price: "Well get your shit together or that's where you'll be headed. Now go get me another drink you fucker."
Reginald scampers off as Price shakes his head.
Jay Price: "You just can't get good help these days. Am I right?"
The crowd remain silent. None of them knows the joys of having people to do whatever the fuck you tell them.
Jay Price: "Now then, I suppose I'll take a break from being the one to bring up subjects and turn the tables over to you. Come on now, leave no stone unturned. Don't be afraid to really ask the hard hitting questions."
A reporter raises her hand and Price points to her.
Reporter: "There has been a lot of criticism over your decision to join Pantheon, even today. Most of it stems from the fact that when you rejected a contract offer from Seth Lerch on live television, one of the things you talked about was your opinions of the stables around at the time and how you thought they were going to kill this company. Pantheon, of course, was one of the stables around at that time. What do you have to say about this?"
Jay Price: "All right, let's just put this issue to bed because I'm as tired of hearing about it as you all are. To the people that like to point this out and make little comments, fuck off. You don't understand where I was at when I was doing that live appearance. I was pissed off at Seth Lerch, at the WCF and at the world in general. I had just gotten a figurative slap to the face in the form of a contract that was a joke and I wanted to vent. Did I have opinions about the stables? Yes. But I had no opinions about the stables themselves. At the time I couldn't give a flying fuck about the Church of the Dark Saints or Genesis or even Pantheon. My opinion was about the fact that you had all these big stables and little stables littering the company and all battling for control. What was the point of it all? What was the end game? When I looked at the situation I saw something that was going to end up tearing this company apart because there was an owner in place that could never control the situation. When I ended up returning with Jonny Fly and Pantheon, it was because I had taken the time to look at the situation again. I was wrong about the company imploding from within. There, I said it. I was wrong. What I saw was that Pantheon had risen above the other stables in terms of importance and that they had a mission that was worth fighting for. They didn't want to exist solely to be the most dominant group, they wanted to exist because they knew they were what WCF needed. In a company where the owner was corrupt and the people he was supposed to be in charge of were out of control, Pantheon wanted change. And that was something I could get behind. All along all I've wanted was to get Seth Lerch far away from WCF so that it could become what it had the potential to become. And I could never do that alone, so Pantheon and I were a perfect fit."
Reginald finally returns with another drink and Price takes a sip before continuing.
Jay Price: "To those who say that I'm only with this group because I want to get myself to the top of the proverbial ladder without earning it, I say get a brain. I joined this group before we took control of this company. I joined this group before I even first heard about a plan to get Seth Lerch out of the ownership seat and to get Jonny in. I joined this group without even having the faintest clue that I would soon end up sitting on the Board of Directors. And as for the Unites States Title match, don't accuse me or Jonny Fly of using our power to make the match happen. Only a moron would think of opening his mouth and uttering such nonsense. I earned this match weeks before I even joined Pantheon. I beat Odin Balfore and Oblivion for the right to be named the number one contender for the United States Title on the same night that Seth Lerch had me sent to a nut house on some bogus bullshit tests. It wasn't until weeks later that Jonny Fly would contact me and tell me all of the details of what had been really going on. So to say that Pantheon is abusing their powers by having this match, a match that I had been repeatedly denied despite having the right to be in it, is beyond absurd. It's simply stupid. Then again, with the people who have been claiming it I suppose it should be expected."
Price raises his glass in the air and then takes another sip.
Jay Price: "Any other skeletons you guys want to dig up? The near riot in Mexico? More details on the whole quitting interview? The one night stand with Seth's mom?"
That last one gets a collective gasp from the crowd.
Jay Price: "Ah, that's right you guys never had an idea about that. Long story short, I banged Seth's mom and never called her back. These days she's a bit low on money, what with her kid barely getting a salary and unable to afford care for her, so I talked her into doing a porno. You can see it for free, just go to SethsMomDoesAnythingdotcom and you can see her...well doing just about anything."
The men in the audience scribble down the web address as the women look horrified.
Jay Price: "Don't look so shocked ladies. Where did you think Shannan learned all her best moves?"
And with that Price again raises his glass in a mock toast and finishes off his drink. He tosses it off to the side.
Jay Price: "All right folks, that's all I got for you guys. I hope you got everything you need for one hell of a story. Bob, hit the button."
Bob presses the red button on the keyboard and the hologram of Price begins to fade out. Finally it's gone with a *pop* and the crowd is left alone.
Back in the room Price steps off the platform and looks over at Bob.
Jay Price: "What did you think?"
Cameraman Bob: "I don't know man. Going out there and putting it all out for everyone to hear? I mean, you're giving Slane and everyone else an arsenal of material to destroy you with. You could end up as a laughingstock within days."
Jay Price: "You're thinking about this all wrong Bob. Yes, I gave out all of my dirty little secrets, but the point was to make everyone else realize just how tired and old it is to keep bringing them up. I swear, every week all I hear from people is "Pantheon is the only reason Price is getting this match or that match" or "Price is a drunk and needs to get fired". It's old Bob, all of it. And you know what, you're probably right. We're probably going to keep hearing the same old shit for weeks and months and years to come. But maybe, just maybe, someone out there will get the hint and decide to come up with something original. And if just one person does that, then I've succeeded."
Cameraman Bob: "I dunno Jay, I just don't think this is going to go the way you think it will."
Jay Price: "Shut up Bob. What do you know anyway? If you're so damn smart why are you still running around with a camera? Why aren't you working for NASA or teaching at MIT?"
Bob says nothing as Price walks over to the elevator and presses the button. The doors slide open and both men step in. Price hits the button for the rooftop condo.
Cameraman Bob: "All right, let's forget about all of that. You spent all of that time talking and barely acknowledged the match you have for the US Title."
Jay Price: "Don't be ignorant Bob, of course I acknowledged it. You just couldn't comprehend the magnitude of what I was saying."
Cameraman Bob: "Okay fine, then why don't you give the dumbed down version to me?"
Jay Price (sighing): "Very well. It's simple Bob, this match is what I've been waiting months for. I've been screaming from the rooftops that I wanted the US Title Match that I earned and finally the night has come. Stuart Slane has been trying his damnedest to keep it away from me, hell he even caused poor Jonny Fly to be taken away by the FBI, but it's finally time. And I will tell you what I told Jonny, I will not piss away this opportunity. All the work I did to get the match and all the work I did to make sure it happened will not be for naught. My very first US Title Match in my career will end with me standing over Stuart Slane, one foot on his chest, as I hold the US Title over my head in victory."
The elevator reaches the top floor and the doors slide open. Price steps out, followed by Bob. Price continues to speak as they walk the hallway.
Jay Price: "Bob, I've never wanted something more. I've fought to get into a World Title Match. I've fought to win a World Title and I've fought to keep it. I've even fought in WAR Matches trying to get my name into a record book. But for all of the battles I've been a part of, I can never remember wanting to win so badly. I don't know what it is exactly, something just feels different. It's not the history that will be made, it's not the idea of having another title belt to wear around my waist...it's something different. Something I've never felt."
Cameraman Bob: "Desperation?"
Jay Price: "Don't be stupid Bob. This isn't desperation, it's...it's almost like satisfaction. It's as if winning this match will be my way of showing myself that I've still got it. Don't get me wrong, I've never felt like I've lost it, but this is just going to be that one thing that cements it in my mind."
Cameraman Bob: "Okay, you're getting sentimental on me and I don't like it."
Jay Price: "Yeah, it is getting a bit sappy in here I suppose."
The pair arrive in Price's living room and take a seat on the couch.
Cameraman Bob: "Well let me say this, I'm rooting for you more than ever. I don't know what it is, but Slane just makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't even have to be near him, just hearing his voice on television makes me feel like he's standing behind me blowing air into my ear."
Jay Price: "I know what you mean. We've both seen a lot of people come and go, but this guy...this guy is just what the fuck. I mean, I'm not going to go out and start spreading accusations about his personal business, but the whole "Scoutmaster" thing feels like a front for some seriously shady shit. I feel like we should get Geraldo to go in and do an investigation."
Cameraman Bob: "I'd be afraid for what he'd find."
Jay Price: "That makes two of us. And you know, I'm really starting to get tired of these whiny champions that do nothing but bitch about having to defend their belts. "Oh no, I have to defend my title again? Well let me just start crying about it to everyone within earshot." When the fuck did the champions in the company turn into a bunch of nutless bitches?"
Cameraman Bob: "I blame Obama."
Jay Price: "Seems legit. But that's one of the other main reasons why I need to win this match Bob. Between Eric Price running and ducking challengers left and right and Slane doing every shady trick in the book to get out of this match with me, it's high time someone that actually has a pair of danglers was a champion. You know, give the people someone they can actually be proud of."
Cameraman Bob: "Here here!"
Jay Price: "You know, even I'll admit it's crazy that I'm set to become the only champion that the people can look up to. I mean, a drunk womanizer that films pornos featuring his ex-bosses mom? Dafuq man?"
Cameraman Bob: "You're bashing yourself? All right, I think you've had enough to drink for today."
Jay Price: "Fuck that, I say we hit up hooters and tip the waitresses until they let us drink beer off their tits."
Cameraman Bob: "Well you are the expert drinker. I'll drive!"
The scene fades out as Bob and Price push themselves up off of the couch and head back toward the elevator.
