Post by Jack of Blades on May 29, 2006 16:15:41 GMT -5
(The camera never lies. Or so is said. However, it can capture a lie in motion. And the camera focusing on the television champion seems to be recording such an event. After all the malice and abhorrence that has been instigated by Jack of Blades, an average promo filled riddled with clichés, seems to be defiant of character and insulting to those who have suffered because of his choices. But that is probably the last thing from his minds, and yes, he does pluralize such a noun in reference to his ownership. Surely someone who has caused so much adversity and destruction in such a short time, shouldn’t be revealing his plots in a two-dimensional way such as standing in front of a wall embroidered with the WCF logo as if it were a call-back to the 80s. And yet he speaks.)
Jack of Blades: I suppose I should be happy. A lot of things happened at Timebomb. Win-loss records changed, shoulders remained on the ground for three seconds and allegiances were altered. And yet, the most memorable thing about that night was a pretty little fairy having her wings clipped. But that is not what gets the coverage. Oh no, that would suggest that there is a degree of respect for me in this hubristic existence of mine. No, you see the ‘suits’ would much rather publicize another title change in Cairo bending over and allowing JJ Biggs to do his mission.
Why am I irate? Why am I somewhat frustrated by Biggs’ victory? Because I have pinned him to the mat twice, never lost to him, have a better win/loss record and am worth more to this charade of a company. And yet, the task given to this summa cum laude was simply survive the insurmountable stupidity of Simply Outrageous? Well, Biggs’ victory does lend some positives. It adds credence to my argument that this existence is only suitable for the few with some luck; with the few who have the privilege of being 6’9 this existence is a walk. For the rest of us, it’s a marathon while being chased with ninjas in helicopters on fire.
(He takes a second to laugh at his odd imagery.)
And the main positive, is that it finally gives this piece of shit a use.
(He raises his television title from off-camera.)
You see, all the ‘real’ fans know that my ‘workrate’ is superior to Biggs and that my consistency is of greater ebb than the current WCF champion. So with that being said, I’m declaring my new position within the company. You see this belt will no longer be the television title while I hold it. But it can still be abbreviated to T.V., and before Jojo gets all excited, that won’t stand for transvestite. Oh no, it will stand for True Version Champion. And my first opportunity to prove my state, as the company’s upper champion will be at Slam where Joey Lights lives up to his namesake when he spends the night staring at the lights. And after that, maybe there are other titles that need to be liberated. Say were there any other changes at Timebomb?
(He breaks into laughter as the camera fades out. A simple promo and a conventional one during times where both of these labels are invalid.)
Jack of Blades: I suppose I should be happy. A lot of things happened at Timebomb. Win-loss records changed, shoulders remained on the ground for three seconds and allegiances were altered. And yet, the most memorable thing about that night was a pretty little fairy having her wings clipped. But that is not what gets the coverage. Oh no, that would suggest that there is a degree of respect for me in this hubristic existence of mine. No, you see the ‘suits’ would much rather publicize another title change in Cairo bending over and allowing JJ Biggs to do his mission.
Why am I irate? Why am I somewhat frustrated by Biggs’ victory? Because I have pinned him to the mat twice, never lost to him, have a better win/loss record and am worth more to this charade of a company. And yet, the task given to this summa cum laude was simply survive the insurmountable stupidity of Simply Outrageous? Well, Biggs’ victory does lend some positives. It adds credence to my argument that this existence is only suitable for the few with some luck; with the few who have the privilege of being 6’9 this existence is a walk. For the rest of us, it’s a marathon while being chased with ninjas in helicopters on fire.
(He takes a second to laugh at his odd imagery.)
And the main positive, is that it finally gives this piece of shit a use.
(He raises his television title from off-camera.)
You see, all the ‘real’ fans know that my ‘workrate’ is superior to Biggs and that my consistency is of greater ebb than the current WCF champion. So with that being said, I’m declaring my new position within the company. You see this belt will no longer be the television title while I hold it. But it can still be abbreviated to T.V., and before Jojo gets all excited, that won’t stand for transvestite. Oh no, it will stand for True Version Champion. And my first opportunity to prove my state, as the company’s upper champion will be at Slam where Joey Lights lives up to his namesake when he spends the night staring at the lights. And after that, maybe there are other titles that need to be liberated. Say were there any other changes at Timebomb?
(He breaks into laughter as the camera fades out. A simple promo and a conventional one during times where both of these labels are invalid.)
