Post by Deleted on May 9, 2011 16:56:51 GMT -5
As the scene opens Hank Brown is standing in front of a large, glossy backdrop with the lime green WCF logo plastered front and center. Hank is wearing his trademark crinkled, gray suit and holding a microphone. Hank reaches up with his hand and touches the mole on his left cheek. WCF Hardcore Champion Phillip Baines walks into the scene along with his girlfriend Gina, both of whom are wearing street clothes. They appear to be paying no mind to Hank as they stride past him and go about their business. Hank reaches out with his mole-touching hand and grabs Phil's bicep to stop him. Phil spins and flexes like he's about to drop the fool who touched him, but then Phil sees that it's just Hank and he relaxes his posture. Gina is visibly disgusted by Hank's presence but she decides to stop with Phil.
Phil: Hank, what do you want, man? Gina and I were on our way to my dressing room to make some, uh, final preparations before my match tonight.
Hank: I know that you're a busy man, Phil. I was just wondering if I could get a quick interview with you before the show?
Phil and Gina look at each other, looking perturbed by Hank's intrusion. Phil puts down the bags that he's carrying and checks his watch. He grudgingly nods his head in Hank's general direction.
Phil: Yeah. Alright. I have a few minutes to shoot the shit with you. Gina, you go on, babe. Make sure that they have cable in the dressing room. I don't want to miss the Heat/Celtics game.
Gina: Got it. I'll also make sure that the shrimp platter is nice and fresh. We don't want a repeat of the incident in México City.
Phil: Good call, babe, and if there's no cocktail sauce then just send it back anyway. I'm not a barbarian. I'm a champion in the greatest wrestling company in the world, and I'm not going to eat shrimp without cocktail sauce.
Gina: Sure thing, babe.
Gina and Phil smile at each other and lock tongues for a few moments before Gina notices Hank staring at them and ceases the kissing action. Gina picks up the bags and goes on her way. Hank holds his fingers up to his mouth and whistles loudly. On cue, Hank's trusty cameraman creeps out of the shadows and starts rolling film. Hank lifts the microphone to his lips.
Hank: Hello, WCF Universe! Hank Brown here and I am joined at this time by none other than WCF Hardcore Champion Phillip Baines! Phil, you've been a busy man since your victory in the finals of the WCF Classic against Mr. FPV two weeks ago at Explosion! How are you coping with your new found notoriety?
Phil: Well, I'm trying to keep a level head of course and focus on the task at hand. That's kind of hard sometimes because everywhere I go there's some putz from the media asking me for an interview.
Phil shoots an icy glare at Hank.
Hank: I hear that!
Hank smiles obliviously at the camera.
Phil: Anyway, I've been working hard to stay in tip-top shape and make sure that I'm prepared for my upcoming matches.
Hank: Speaking of which, you have a very daunting challenge ahead of you in four nights as you prepare to face Greenfever at XIII in the first ever Flatliner match. The only way to win that match is to make your opponent's heart stop beating. The implications from such a dubious stipulation are obvious and glaring. With a literal life and death struggle ahead of you in just four nights, how are you able to keep your focus on the task at hand as you prepare to team with D-Day to take on the tandem of WCF World Champion Jay Williams and "The Truth" Chris Avery tonight?
Phil: Make no mistake about it, Hank, I have my sights set firmly on ending Omega Greenfever's life and career in four night's time at XIII. However, I would like to state unequivocally and for the record that I am not overlooking my match tonight in the main event of Slam. When Phillip Baines comes to fight he comes hard and I'm coming hard tonight. You can interpret that any way you please.
Hank: Well, what are your thoughts on tonight's match? You're teaming Donald Deruty, who is the current #1 contender for the WCF World Championship after his victory in last week's battle royal on Slam. You, of course, are the winner of the 2011 WCF Classic which means that you have a World Title shot that you can use at any time over the next year. The two of you are facing the reigning WCF World Champion Jay Williams and his partner Chris Avery, who seems to have had a fire lit under him after the dissolution of his former group This_Is_WAR.
Phil: This match is a great opportunity for both D-Day and myself to make statements. We will both have the opportunity to get our hands on the WCF World Champion, and that excites the shit out of me. Not quite as much as my girlfriend's tits excite me, but it's as excited as I'm going to get about a tag team match on Slam, ok?
Hank: Point given and taken.
Hank nods to Phil and then the camera.
Phil: I have the utmost respect for Donald Deruty. It's an honor to be teaming with him tonight. He is an upstanding young man and a fiery competitor. He is WCF's American Hero. He is the man who defeated Torture and ended the longest undefeated streak that WCF has ever seen. He overcame seemingly impossible obstacles to do so. He followed that up by winning a battle royal for a World Title shot last week on Slam. D-Day is on fire right now. D-Day might be unstoppable right now. I'm just glad that I'm teaming with him and not wrestling against him!
Hank: You're showing respect to a fellow WCF wrestler? That is unusual for you, Phil. You're known for trashing everyone and everything in sight.
Phil: The man is my tag team partner, of course I'm going to give him the respect that he's earned. I only trash people when they put themselves in a position to be trashed, for example when they step into the ring opposite me. D-Day has done everything right and he deserves to be commended for that. I cannot say the same for Jay Williams and Chris Avery.
Hank: That's what I wanted to ask you about. Now, we'll get to Jay Williams in a second, but what do you think about this Chris Avery? He was under the radar for a long time as a member of This_Is_WAR, a man who was doing Torture's dirty work, but now Avery has the chance to establish himself once again in the singles ranks. He's a former Television Champion and he had a strong showing in the battle royal last week. What say you, Phillip Baines? What do you think about "The Truth"?
Hank grits his teeth with a look of sheer determination on his face as he holds the mike all up in Phil's grill.
Phil: Can you give me a little space here, Hank?
Hank: Oh sorry. I get carried away sometimes.
Hank backs up a few inches to give Phil room to breathe.
Phil: What do I think about "The Truth"? Well, for one thing, I don't think Chris Avery is... "The Truth".
Phil emphasizes his words by making air quote gestures with his fingers and then rolling his eyes.
Phil: I think Chris Avery is a pathological liar. I think he's full of shit. In fact, I think he's a piece of shit. What the hell has Chris Avery done to earn a spot in the main event of Slam? He couldn't even hack it as a member of This_Is_WAR's C-team with guys like Shaun Jackson and Tank Reaper. I guess he had a respectable showing in the battle royal last week, if outlasting all of the jobbers in the match counts as a respectable showing. You already mentioned Chris Avery's greatest claim to fame in WCF... he's a former Television Champion. However, there's two problems with that: One, the Television Championship is only slightly more relevant than Doc Henry's fictional Confederate Championship.
Hank crinkles his brow, making it nearly as crinkly as his cheap, gray suit.
Phil: Two, Avery's reign as champion was marred by the constant illegal tactics that he utilized to retain the championship. Yeah, he cheated his way to a lengthy reign as the holder of a third-rate title belt. When that gravy train came to a screeching halt he rode Torture's coattails as a member of This_Is_WAR. By the way, congratulations on fucking up at Explosion, Mr. Avery. Your failure to prevent D-Day from defeating Torture killed two birds with one stone: It ended Torture's lengthy undefeated streak AND it forced This_Is_WAR to disband. Now that you're out of a job riding Torture's dick, I guess that you're trying to prove that you have what it takes to hack it on your own here in WCF. Let me ask you this: If you sucked before you joined This_Is_WAR, and you sucked while you were a member of This_Is_WAR, why do you think that you're suddenly going to stop sucking now that you're all by your lonesome once again?
Hank pulls the mike away from Phil and holds it up to his mouth.
Hank: Don't you think that you're being a little unfair, Phil? Chris Avery is a battle-tested veteran here in WCF and he really does have some exceptional in-ring ability. I would go so far as to call him one of WCF's most underrated superstars!
Phil stands there with his mouth wide open, gawking at Hank. Hank raises the mike to Phil's mouth once again and Phil ceases gawking.
Phil: Seriously, Hank? Hell, I had to do a double-take when I saw Chris Avery's name in the main event of Slam. I thought it was a misprint. I thought maybe we had signed Chris Jericho and he was going to be debuting in this match, but the guy who updates the website got the names mixed up. The only thing that's exceptional about Chris Avery is the length to which he'll go to blame institutional racism for his endless stream of failures. The problem is that Chris Avery's cries are falling upon deaf ears, Hank. You see, black people don't watch WCF, and even if they did they would think that Chris Avery is a whiny, little pussy.
Hank rips the mike away from Phil's mouth.
Hank: Oooookay. We're going to cut that part out before this interview airs. I do not want Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson on my ass, I'll tell you that right now. Alright, let's move on to Jay Williams. "Dynamite" as he is known to his legions of diehard fans is the reigning WCF World Champion. His rise over these last few months has become the stuff of legend. He went from being retired to defeating some of the biggest names in this sport such as Jay Price and Johnny Reb en route to capturing the biggest prize of them all, the WCF World Championship. Maybe you don't think highly of Chris Avery, but you must have some respect for Jay Williams?
Phil: Must I, Hank? Oh, must I? You mustn't make such outrageous assumptions, Hank. I can appreciate a man redeeming himself from past failures as much as the next guy, but I don't have much in the way of respect or regard for Jay Williams. I look at his current run as being little more than a fluke. He's on a hot streak, but he's going to end up as a flash in the pain. Either he'll lose the World Championship to Oblivion at XIII or he'll lose it to D-Day when they wrestle, or hey... he could lose it to me at...
Phil flashes a wide-mouthed grin at the camera, looking for all the world like a six-foot seven-inch Cheshire cat.
Phil: Any... given... moment! Yeah, it's a bitch being Jay Williams right now. He's come so far so quickly. He's gone from being an afterthought to an overnight success, and now just as suddenly he's on the verge of losing everything that's nearest and dearest to him. Life can be so cruel to some people. Of course Jay Williams isn't a very good person, a very appreciative person. His priorities are all out of whack. This is a man who said that being World Champion is more important to him than his own wife and daughter. I mean I'm no psychiatrist, but those are the words of a sick man. On one hand I can appreciate Jay's honesty, but on the other hand I gotta say that he's... a sick son of a bitch!
Phil throws his hands up and shrugs his shoulders.
Phil: Hey, there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just telling it like it is. It's a shame that Jay Williams is that way. What's to blame for his illness, nature or nurture? I do not know. However, I do know this: Even the greatest champions do not reign forever and you are not a great champion, Jay Williams. Your World Title reign began as a fluke and your World Title reign will be fleeting. Who will console you when you've been defeated and your reign as champion is all over, nothing more than a mere footnote in the WCF record books? Will it be the wife and daughter who you've acknowledged as being secondary to a leather belt with a gold faceplate? I should think not. I'm not like you, Jay. My priorities are most certainly in order and I am always focused on the task at hand. Unlike you I don't have to put a premium on being World Champion in order to psyche myself up.
Phil scoffs as he dismisses any such notion.
Phil: I don't have to lie to myself and say that being World Champion is more important to me than the woman whom I will someday marry. I don't have to use that kind of psychology, Jay. I know that I'm the best in the world. I know that there's not a man walking the face of this earth who can kick my ass. I don't make absurd, grandiose, self-delusional statements like you do. Pressure? Stress? What's that? Never heard of it. I don't feel pressure when I step into the ring because I already know what's going to happen. It doesn't really matter to me whether I'm competing for the World Title or whether I'm defending my Hardcore Title or whether I'm beating someone's ass in a non-title tag team match just to make a statement.
Phil closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking dead straight into the camera.
Phil: Jay Williams, I am the epitome of world-class. You are not "Dynamite". You are not even good. Tonight you are going to see a preview of the Hell that awaits you.
Phil turns to Hank.
Phil: Hank... this interview is over.
Phil abruptly walks away. Hank signals to the cameraman to stop filming. The scene fades.
Phil: Hank, what do you want, man? Gina and I were on our way to my dressing room to make some, uh, final preparations before my match tonight.
Hank: I know that you're a busy man, Phil. I was just wondering if I could get a quick interview with you before the show?
Phil and Gina look at each other, looking perturbed by Hank's intrusion. Phil puts down the bags that he's carrying and checks his watch. He grudgingly nods his head in Hank's general direction.
Phil: Yeah. Alright. I have a few minutes to shoot the shit with you. Gina, you go on, babe. Make sure that they have cable in the dressing room. I don't want to miss the Heat/Celtics game.
Gina: Got it. I'll also make sure that the shrimp platter is nice and fresh. We don't want a repeat of the incident in México City.
Phil: Good call, babe, and if there's no cocktail sauce then just send it back anyway. I'm not a barbarian. I'm a champion in the greatest wrestling company in the world, and I'm not going to eat shrimp without cocktail sauce.
Gina: Sure thing, babe.
Gina and Phil smile at each other and lock tongues for a few moments before Gina notices Hank staring at them and ceases the kissing action. Gina picks up the bags and goes on her way. Hank holds his fingers up to his mouth and whistles loudly. On cue, Hank's trusty cameraman creeps out of the shadows and starts rolling film. Hank lifts the microphone to his lips.
Hank: Hello, WCF Universe! Hank Brown here and I am joined at this time by none other than WCF Hardcore Champion Phillip Baines! Phil, you've been a busy man since your victory in the finals of the WCF Classic against Mr. FPV two weeks ago at Explosion! How are you coping with your new found notoriety?
Phil: Well, I'm trying to keep a level head of course and focus on the task at hand. That's kind of hard sometimes because everywhere I go there's some putz from the media asking me for an interview.
Phil shoots an icy glare at Hank.
Hank: I hear that!
Hank smiles obliviously at the camera.
Phil: Anyway, I've been working hard to stay in tip-top shape and make sure that I'm prepared for my upcoming matches.
Hank: Speaking of which, you have a very daunting challenge ahead of you in four nights as you prepare to face Greenfever at XIII in the first ever Flatliner match. The only way to win that match is to make your opponent's heart stop beating. The implications from such a dubious stipulation are obvious and glaring. With a literal life and death struggle ahead of you in just four nights, how are you able to keep your focus on the task at hand as you prepare to team with D-Day to take on the tandem of WCF World Champion Jay Williams and "The Truth" Chris Avery tonight?
Phil: Make no mistake about it, Hank, I have my sights set firmly on ending Omega Greenfever's life and career in four night's time at XIII. However, I would like to state unequivocally and for the record that I am not overlooking my match tonight in the main event of Slam. When Phillip Baines comes to fight he comes hard and I'm coming hard tonight. You can interpret that any way you please.
Hank: Well, what are your thoughts on tonight's match? You're teaming Donald Deruty, who is the current #1 contender for the WCF World Championship after his victory in last week's battle royal on Slam. You, of course, are the winner of the 2011 WCF Classic which means that you have a World Title shot that you can use at any time over the next year. The two of you are facing the reigning WCF World Champion Jay Williams and his partner Chris Avery, who seems to have had a fire lit under him after the dissolution of his former group This_Is_WAR.
Phil: This match is a great opportunity for both D-Day and myself to make statements. We will both have the opportunity to get our hands on the WCF World Champion, and that excites the shit out of me. Not quite as much as my girlfriend's tits excite me, but it's as excited as I'm going to get about a tag team match on Slam, ok?
Hank: Point given and taken.
Hank nods to Phil and then the camera.
Phil: I have the utmost respect for Donald Deruty. It's an honor to be teaming with him tonight. He is an upstanding young man and a fiery competitor. He is WCF's American Hero. He is the man who defeated Torture and ended the longest undefeated streak that WCF has ever seen. He overcame seemingly impossible obstacles to do so. He followed that up by winning a battle royal for a World Title shot last week on Slam. D-Day is on fire right now. D-Day might be unstoppable right now. I'm just glad that I'm teaming with him and not wrestling against him!
Hank: You're showing respect to a fellow WCF wrestler? That is unusual for you, Phil. You're known for trashing everyone and everything in sight.
Phil: The man is my tag team partner, of course I'm going to give him the respect that he's earned. I only trash people when they put themselves in a position to be trashed, for example when they step into the ring opposite me. D-Day has done everything right and he deserves to be commended for that. I cannot say the same for Jay Williams and Chris Avery.
Hank: That's what I wanted to ask you about. Now, we'll get to Jay Williams in a second, but what do you think about this Chris Avery? He was under the radar for a long time as a member of This_Is_WAR, a man who was doing Torture's dirty work, but now Avery has the chance to establish himself once again in the singles ranks. He's a former Television Champion and he had a strong showing in the battle royal last week. What say you, Phillip Baines? What do you think about "The Truth"?
Hank grits his teeth with a look of sheer determination on his face as he holds the mike all up in Phil's grill.
Phil: Can you give me a little space here, Hank?
Hank: Oh sorry. I get carried away sometimes.
Hank backs up a few inches to give Phil room to breathe.
Phil: What do I think about "The Truth"? Well, for one thing, I don't think Chris Avery is... "The Truth".
Phil emphasizes his words by making air quote gestures with his fingers and then rolling his eyes.
Phil: I think Chris Avery is a pathological liar. I think he's full of shit. In fact, I think he's a piece of shit. What the hell has Chris Avery done to earn a spot in the main event of Slam? He couldn't even hack it as a member of This_Is_WAR's C-team with guys like Shaun Jackson and Tank Reaper. I guess he had a respectable showing in the battle royal last week, if outlasting all of the jobbers in the match counts as a respectable showing. You already mentioned Chris Avery's greatest claim to fame in WCF... he's a former Television Champion. However, there's two problems with that: One, the Television Championship is only slightly more relevant than Doc Henry's fictional Confederate Championship.
Hank crinkles his brow, making it nearly as crinkly as his cheap, gray suit.
Phil: Two, Avery's reign as champion was marred by the constant illegal tactics that he utilized to retain the championship. Yeah, he cheated his way to a lengthy reign as the holder of a third-rate title belt. When that gravy train came to a screeching halt he rode Torture's coattails as a member of This_Is_WAR. By the way, congratulations on fucking up at Explosion, Mr. Avery. Your failure to prevent D-Day from defeating Torture killed two birds with one stone: It ended Torture's lengthy undefeated streak AND it forced This_Is_WAR to disband. Now that you're out of a job riding Torture's dick, I guess that you're trying to prove that you have what it takes to hack it on your own here in WCF. Let me ask you this: If you sucked before you joined This_Is_WAR, and you sucked while you were a member of This_Is_WAR, why do you think that you're suddenly going to stop sucking now that you're all by your lonesome once again?
Hank pulls the mike away from Phil and holds it up to his mouth.
Hank: Don't you think that you're being a little unfair, Phil? Chris Avery is a battle-tested veteran here in WCF and he really does have some exceptional in-ring ability. I would go so far as to call him one of WCF's most underrated superstars!
Phil stands there with his mouth wide open, gawking at Hank. Hank raises the mike to Phil's mouth once again and Phil ceases gawking.
Phil: Seriously, Hank? Hell, I had to do a double-take when I saw Chris Avery's name in the main event of Slam. I thought it was a misprint. I thought maybe we had signed Chris Jericho and he was going to be debuting in this match, but the guy who updates the website got the names mixed up. The only thing that's exceptional about Chris Avery is the length to which he'll go to blame institutional racism for his endless stream of failures. The problem is that Chris Avery's cries are falling upon deaf ears, Hank. You see, black people don't watch WCF, and even if they did they would think that Chris Avery is a whiny, little pussy.
Hank rips the mike away from Phil's mouth.
Hank: Oooookay. We're going to cut that part out before this interview airs. I do not want Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson on my ass, I'll tell you that right now. Alright, let's move on to Jay Williams. "Dynamite" as he is known to his legions of diehard fans is the reigning WCF World Champion. His rise over these last few months has become the stuff of legend. He went from being retired to defeating some of the biggest names in this sport such as Jay Price and Johnny Reb en route to capturing the biggest prize of them all, the WCF World Championship. Maybe you don't think highly of Chris Avery, but you must have some respect for Jay Williams?
Phil: Must I, Hank? Oh, must I? You mustn't make such outrageous assumptions, Hank. I can appreciate a man redeeming himself from past failures as much as the next guy, but I don't have much in the way of respect or regard for Jay Williams. I look at his current run as being little more than a fluke. He's on a hot streak, but he's going to end up as a flash in the pain. Either he'll lose the World Championship to Oblivion at XIII or he'll lose it to D-Day when they wrestle, or hey... he could lose it to me at...
Phil flashes a wide-mouthed grin at the camera, looking for all the world like a six-foot seven-inch Cheshire cat.
Phil: Any... given... moment! Yeah, it's a bitch being Jay Williams right now. He's come so far so quickly. He's gone from being an afterthought to an overnight success, and now just as suddenly he's on the verge of losing everything that's nearest and dearest to him. Life can be so cruel to some people. Of course Jay Williams isn't a very good person, a very appreciative person. His priorities are all out of whack. This is a man who said that being World Champion is more important to him than his own wife and daughter. I mean I'm no psychiatrist, but those are the words of a sick man. On one hand I can appreciate Jay's honesty, but on the other hand I gotta say that he's... a sick son of a bitch!
Phil throws his hands up and shrugs his shoulders.
Phil: Hey, there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just telling it like it is. It's a shame that Jay Williams is that way. What's to blame for his illness, nature or nurture? I do not know. However, I do know this: Even the greatest champions do not reign forever and you are not a great champion, Jay Williams. Your World Title reign began as a fluke and your World Title reign will be fleeting. Who will console you when you've been defeated and your reign as champion is all over, nothing more than a mere footnote in the WCF record books? Will it be the wife and daughter who you've acknowledged as being secondary to a leather belt with a gold faceplate? I should think not. I'm not like you, Jay. My priorities are most certainly in order and I am always focused on the task at hand. Unlike you I don't have to put a premium on being World Champion in order to psyche myself up.
Phil scoffs as he dismisses any such notion.
Phil: I don't have to lie to myself and say that being World Champion is more important to me than the woman whom I will someday marry. I don't have to use that kind of psychology, Jay. I know that I'm the best in the world. I know that there's not a man walking the face of this earth who can kick my ass. I don't make absurd, grandiose, self-delusional statements like you do. Pressure? Stress? What's that? Never heard of it. I don't feel pressure when I step into the ring because I already know what's going to happen. It doesn't really matter to me whether I'm competing for the World Title or whether I'm defending my Hardcore Title or whether I'm beating someone's ass in a non-title tag team match just to make a statement.
Phil closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking dead straight into the camera.
Phil: Jay Williams, I am the epitome of world-class. You are not "Dynamite". You are not even good. Tonight you are going to see a preview of the Hell that awaits you.
Phil turns to Hank.
Phil: Hank... this interview is over.
Phil abruptly walks away. Hank signals to the cameraman to stop filming. The scene fades.
