Post by Chris Avery on Apr 28, 2011 8:55:04 GMT -5
- Scene opens up as Avery comes into focus. A black WCF logo behind him on a white wall, Avery takes off his stunner shades and begins to speak into the camera.
Chris Avery: Let me light this black and mild and tell you how I really feel about each and every one of you lying suckas in the Battle Royal this coming Monday Night on Slam! You see, ever since I joined Wrestling Championship Federation it's been clear that I've always been held down by the lying, fat, white racist governing body that controls WCF and is always trying to keep the black man down. That's why I'm here to expose all of you liars. It starts at the top.
Mark Markman is nothing more than a white pawn in a poor mans checkers game. He'll book and create all the cash-flow matches he can get, but what he set in stone was a mistake he'll always pay. Chris Avery will be the number one contender on Slam, and take down Jay Williams World Heavyweight Championship title. Markman will be eating crow when I wear down his weak defense of booking and show management what the real truth is all about.
And Deruty? Come on. Sure, the torch was passed and you pinned Torture but he was a weak man who was getting older and out of his prime. You're the future of Wrestling Championship Federation? In doom we trust, because you won't lead us into anywhere. You're riding the momentum, and coming off the highest and most emotional roller coaster you can think of, but what you don't understand is that I'm going to stop you. I'm the true gangsta from Chi-Town, Deruty, and you're nothing to me. They call me the dark horse, and while that sounds completely racist, it's also true. No one is picking me to win, and I'm going to show all of you son of a bitches the real truth!
Johnny Reb is nothing to me! A two time World Champion? I can beat Johnny Reb in my sleep. Just like Deruty, Reb also thought he could take down Torture in 2009, and obviously, he never did! Reb was the last GWC World Champion in WCF, he was defeating Dake Ken and Mikami, but all of that means nothing now, as it will be me, the Chi-Town hustla making Johnny Reb go flying over the top rope on Monday Night. Reb will slide back down to the middle of the rankings when I'm done with him. Heh. Middle of the card is being nice too. Johnny Reb is a southern right wing liar, and a fat one at that!
Let's talk about Mr. FPV! The future of WCF, am I right? No, I'm not right. You're a fluke! You got lucky when you beat Jay Price, ahh, what am I saying, Jay Price was dead weight in WCF the entire time anyway! That dude couldn't hold a candle to Torture, and he knew it! He was forced into retirement by his own demise because he can't hack it with the real pros! Mr. FPV, I suggest you take a page out of Price's playbook and just quit while you're ahead. Future of WCF? More like good luck in your future endeavors!
Oh, is Doc Henry serious? Really? This is another case of a redneck piece of trash that can't muster up enough English words in his vocabulary to discuss today's society surrounding MTV and VH1, let alone a wrestling match that he's partaking in. He has the talk, and sure, in two WAR matches he outlasted a lot of other guys, but come on. That's two WAR matches, and this is a battle royal on Monday Night Slam. You had weeks to prepare for WAR, but only one week to prepare for Slam, and in that one week, I've done more preparation for this match than you'll ever do in your lifetime! Doc Henry is the true reason why black people were slaves, and for that, I'm going to make you pay Doc. I'm going to make you pay hard.
Ana Valentine? She's as worthless as tits on a boar hog. Valentine couldn't jump on this black fire hose if she was on fire, and the only way to put her out was to fuck her senseless. I've done bitches, and I've done hoes, hell, I've done bitches AND hoes at the same time, and they have more talent inside that wrestling ring than she does. Valentine is just another case of tits and ass, and Markman using her to generate more revenue. He's using you, he's using all of you, and until you put a stop to it, he'll never stop.. that is, until he notices how fake and untalented your ass really is, Ana. Then he throws you to the curb where you belong. Heh, come to think of it, I'm glad he's using you, you stupid fat bitch.
Captain Punishment? More like Captain who gives a shit. The only thing you punish is the ears of the WCF audience who has to pay their entire earnings for their poor stupid family to listen to you. You talk and talk, and then you come to the ring and you lose and lose. No one gives a single shit about what you do or say, or who you save and stand up for. You want the truth? You're a waste of my god damn time, and me even talking about you for ten seconds is something you should appreciate. You'll be thrown over the top rope faster than Snoop Dogg can roll a blunt. Peace out bitch.
Tommy Knoxville is one tough son of a bitch. I'll give him that, but what that stupid water-head wanksta doesn't know is that he's about to have one scoop of high-octane truth delivered right to his peanut sized brain. You see, Knoxville, you're about as good as they get, and by good, I mean pure shit, and by pure shit, I mean, I'm done with you. The truth has spoken on your lame ass.
Now we finally get to the real losers of this battle royal. King Jimmy Dean? Kidding me? He rides down on some safari animal, the crowd goes crazy for him, he can't even speak English, his broken down words are like smashing a brick wall into a brick wall and expecting french toast to appear. King Jimmy Dean maybe a King in Gineau or wherever he's from, but in Wrestling Championship Federation is a jobber, and I'm going to truly expose him on Slam. His match with Tank was a dark match before the PPV, and sure he beat Tank because Shaun Jackson doesn't know how to assist in winning at all.. but that doesn't erase the fact that I'm going to put down the King and take his crown, and finally, WCF will have a King that never tells a lie. Jimmy Dean is a piece of shit, and I'm going to expose him for just that!
Nate Bishop? Pft. Who cares about you. Next.
Carnage? What, do you have brothers named Rampage, and Chaos too? Are you from a carnival? Do you like fair rides? Do you eat cinnamon twists? Here's the truth. I have no idea who you are, and that doesn't show that I'm unprepared, but that I'm completely overlooking the fact that somehow management gave you a contract and actually pays you to show up let alone fight in their main event. Markman has surely bumped his god damn head on this move. Good luck, or I don't even know if you know what that means.
Steeltoe Joe. How racist can that be? What? Uncle Tom next? Joe, you're the definition of sell out. You gave your rights to the man like a hypocrite! I hope you're happy with the decisions you've made in life, and how you prance around with that name! You should be ashamed of yourself. A judge will get the final call on you one day, I guarantee it. Till then, I'm just going to throw you over the top rope and wish you the best. You hater.
Tek and Eric Price? You guys are nothing to me. I have no idea who you are, nor do I want to know who you are, but I'm sure when the officials tell me that I threw you over the top rope, I'll try to quickly catch an image of your shocked faces and remember who you are. That way, when I become the World Heavyweight Champion, I can thank you for being there during my first stepping stone towards greatness. I'd wish you luck, but you already know the outcome. I win, you lose, that's the truth.
So there you have it, playas and bitches. This is a new start for Chris Avery. I don't need friends, I don't need a team, I don't need Torture, and I certainly don't need the fans! I'm going to expose each and every one of you on Monday Night Slam, and you'll all be witnessing the greatest and most epic nights in the history of Wrestling when Chris Avery stands in the middle of the ring with his arm raised as the victor. You'll never budge the Truth!
- The scene fades out as Chris puts on his stunner shades.
Chris Avery: Let me light this black and mild and tell you how I really feel about each and every one of you lying suckas in the Battle Royal this coming Monday Night on Slam! You see, ever since I joined Wrestling Championship Federation it's been clear that I've always been held down by the lying, fat, white racist governing body that controls WCF and is always trying to keep the black man down. That's why I'm here to expose all of you liars. It starts at the top.
Mark Markman is nothing more than a white pawn in a poor mans checkers game. He'll book and create all the cash-flow matches he can get, but what he set in stone was a mistake he'll always pay. Chris Avery will be the number one contender on Slam, and take down Jay Williams World Heavyweight Championship title. Markman will be eating crow when I wear down his weak defense of booking and show management what the real truth is all about.
And Deruty? Come on. Sure, the torch was passed and you pinned Torture but he was a weak man who was getting older and out of his prime. You're the future of Wrestling Championship Federation? In doom we trust, because you won't lead us into anywhere. You're riding the momentum, and coming off the highest and most emotional roller coaster you can think of, but what you don't understand is that I'm going to stop you. I'm the true gangsta from Chi-Town, Deruty, and you're nothing to me. They call me the dark horse, and while that sounds completely racist, it's also true. No one is picking me to win, and I'm going to show all of you son of a bitches the real truth!
Johnny Reb is nothing to me! A two time World Champion? I can beat Johnny Reb in my sleep. Just like Deruty, Reb also thought he could take down Torture in 2009, and obviously, he never did! Reb was the last GWC World Champion in WCF, he was defeating Dake Ken and Mikami, but all of that means nothing now, as it will be me, the Chi-Town hustla making Johnny Reb go flying over the top rope on Monday Night. Reb will slide back down to the middle of the rankings when I'm done with him. Heh. Middle of the card is being nice too. Johnny Reb is a southern right wing liar, and a fat one at that!
Let's talk about Mr. FPV! The future of WCF, am I right? No, I'm not right. You're a fluke! You got lucky when you beat Jay Price, ahh, what am I saying, Jay Price was dead weight in WCF the entire time anyway! That dude couldn't hold a candle to Torture, and he knew it! He was forced into retirement by his own demise because he can't hack it with the real pros! Mr. FPV, I suggest you take a page out of Price's playbook and just quit while you're ahead. Future of WCF? More like good luck in your future endeavors!
Oh, is Doc Henry serious? Really? This is another case of a redneck piece of trash that can't muster up enough English words in his vocabulary to discuss today's society surrounding MTV and VH1, let alone a wrestling match that he's partaking in. He has the talk, and sure, in two WAR matches he outlasted a lot of other guys, but come on. That's two WAR matches, and this is a battle royal on Monday Night Slam. You had weeks to prepare for WAR, but only one week to prepare for Slam, and in that one week, I've done more preparation for this match than you'll ever do in your lifetime! Doc Henry is the true reason why black people were slaves, and for that, I'm going to make you pay Doc. I'm going to make you pay hard.
Ana Valentine? She's as worthless as tits on a boar hog. Valentine couldn't jump on this black fire hose if she was on fire, and the only way to put her out was to fuck her senseless. I've done bitches, and I've done hoes, hell, I've done bitches AND hoes at the same time, and they have more talent inside that wrestling ring than she does. Valentine is just another case of tits and ass, and Markman using her to generate more revenue. He's using you, he's using all of you, and until you put a stop to it, he'll never stop.. that is, until he notices how fake and untalented your ass really is, Ana. Then he throws you to the curb where you belong. Heh, come to think of it, I'm glad he's using you, you stupid fat bitch.
Captain Punishment? More like Captain who gives a shit. The only thing you punish is the ears of the WCF audience who has to pay their entire earnings for their poor stupid family to listen to you. You talk and talk, and then you come to the ring and you lose and lose. No one gives a single shit about what you do or say, or who you save and stand up for. You want the truth? You're a waste of my god damn time, and me even talking about you for ten seconds is something you should appreciate. You'll be thrown over the top rope faster than Snoop Dogg can roll a blunt. Peace out bitch.
Tommy Knoxville is one tough son of a bitch. I'll give him that, but what that stupid water-head wanksta doesn't know is that he's about to have one scoop of high-octane truth delivered right to his peanut sized brain. You see, Knoxville, you're about as good as they get, and by good, I mean pure shit, and by pure shit, I mean, I'm done with you. The truth has spoken on your lame ass.
Now we finally get to the real losers of this battle royal. King Jimmy Dean? Kidding me? He rides down on some safari animal, the crowd goes crazy for him, he can't even speak English, his broken down words are like smashing a brick wall into a brick wall and expecting french toast to appear. King Jimmy Dean maybe a King in Gineau or wherever he's from, but in Wrestling Championship Federation is a jobber, and I'm going to truly expose him on Slam. His match with Tank was a dark match before the PPV, and sure he beat Tank because Shaun Jackson doesn't know how to assist in winning at all.. but that doesn't erase the fact that I'm going to put down the King and take his crown, and finally, WCF will have a King that never tells a lie. Jimmy Dean is a piece of shit, and I'm going to expose him for just that!
Nate Bishop? Pft. Who cares about you. Next.
Carnage? What, do you have brothers named Rampage, and Chaos too? Are you from a carnival? Do you like fair rides? Do you eat cinnamon twists? Here's the truth. I have no idea who you are, and that doesn't show that I'm unprepared, but that I'm completely overlooking the fact that somehow management gave you a contract and actually pays you to show up let alone fight in their main event. Markman has surely bumped his god damn head on this move. Good luck, or I don't even know if you know what that means.
Steeltoe Joe. How racist can that be? What? Uncle Tom next? Joe, you're the definition of sell out. You gave your rights to the man like a hypocrite! I hope you're happy with the decisions you've made in life, and how you prance around with that name! You should be ashamed of yourself. A judge will get the final call on you one day, I guarantee it. Till then, I'm just going to throw you over the top rope and wish you the best. You hater.
Tek and Eric Price? You guys are nothing to me. I have no idea who you are, nor do I want to know who you are, but I'm sure when the officials tell me that I threw you over the top rope, I'll try to quickly catch an image of your shocked faces and remember who you are. That way, when I become the World Heavyweight Champion, I can thank you for being there during my first stepping stone towards greatness. I'd wish you luck, but you already know the outcome. I win, you lose, that's the truth.
So there you have it, playas and bitches. This is a new start for Chris Avery. I don't need friends, I don't need a team, I don't need Torture, and I certainly don't need the fans! I'm going to expose each and every one of you on Monday Night Slam, and you'll all be witnessing the greatest and most epic nights in the history of Wrestling when Chris Avery stands in the middle of the ring with his arm raised as the victor. You'll never budge the Truth!
- The scene fades out as Chris puts on his stunner shades.
