Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2006 13:22:14 GMT -5
(Bobby and his lackey Perry are sitting at a table in a small coffee shop. Bobby's hair is slicked back, his beard neatly combed. He's wearing a mock turtleneck and casual slacks. Perry, on the other hand, is dressed in a yellow parka and blue jeans. The two of them are eating lunch and chatting about things.)
BOBBY: "This chicken noodle soup is excellent."
PERRY: "I have to agree with you, Bobby. This is the best chicken noodle soup that I've had in a long time."
BOBBY: "This is the kind of soup that makes me glad to be alive."
PERRY: "The soup is great, but did you notice that waitress?"
BOBBY: "Yeah, I saw her. She has a sweet, little caboose doesn't she?"
PERRY: "Not to mention legs from here to ya-ya!"
BOBBY: "Maybe I should ask her out?"
PERRY: "Go for it, man. If you don't, I will."
BOBBY: "I will... it's just that I haven't been with a woman since I broke up with Lucy."
PERRY: "Oh right, you were telling me about her. She's the one that called you an egomaniacal asshole and slapped the taste out of your mouth?"
BOBBY: "Right... that's the one."
PERRY: "Bobby, you can't spend the rest of your life sulking over some broad. You've gotta get back on the whores."
(Bobby takes a sip from his ginger ale and thinks about it for a moment.)
BOBBY: "You're right, Perry. Excuse me for one minute."
(A sexy, young waitress in a short skirt is standing behind the counter. She's reading a Hollywood gossip magazine and twirling her curly, blonde hair with her fingers. Bobby approaches her and clears his throat. When the woman looks up from the magazine, Bobby pretends to be looking at his watch.)
WAITRESS: "Can I help you, sir?"
BOBBY: "I'm sorry. I was just checking the time on my $50,000 Rolex watch."
WAITRESS: "If that's a Rolex then why does it say Casio?"
BOBBY: "My Rolex is in the shop. This is a back-up."
WAITRESS: "I see. Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?"
BOBBY: "Actually yes there is something that you can help me with, Tammy. Your name is Tammy, right? That's what it says on your nametag thingy."
WAITRESS: "Yes, my name is Tammy."
BOBBY: "Well, Tammy, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner tonight?"
WAITRESS: "Dinner? With you? No way!"
BOBBY: "No way? What the hell are you talking about? I'm a huge wrestling star. I was even the World Champion for a brief period of time!"
WAITRESS: "Hahaha! Yeah right! Your friend over there looks tougher than you!"
BOBBY: "Oh yeah? You just kissed your tip goodbye!"
WAITRESS: "Jerk!"
(Bobby shakes his head and mumbles to himself as he walks back to the table where Perry is seated.)
BOBBY: "That did not go very well."
PERRY: "No... it did not."
BOBBY: "On the plus side, I did save us a couple of bucks on the tip."
PERRY: "Sure. That's something. So, how are you feeling for tomorrow night's match?"
BOBBY: "Not as good as I was a few moments ago, but I'm doing okay."
PERRY: "This is a huge opportunity. You can earn a rematch with Biggs for the World Title."
BOBBY: "I gotta be honest with you, man. Losing that title was the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."
PERRY: "How do you figure?"
BOBBY: "I let the title go to my head. I wasn't working hard anymore. I wasn't focused. I alienated all of my friends. But now... I'm putting all of the pieces back together. I'm primed for another run to the top."
PERRY: "This is the most driven that I've seen you, man."
BOBBY: "I'm just looking forward to putting some people in the hospital. I'll save the bragging for after I get the job done, not before."
PERRY: "I'm glad to hear that, Bobby. No one talks better smack than you, but it don't mean shit if you're not backing it up."
BOBBY: "That's right. What do you say we get out of here, bro? The soup is getting cold and I need to do something about this boner."
PERRY: "No problem, man. I know some Puerto Rican girls over on Broad Street."
BOBBY: "Are they any good?"
PERRY: "They're the best, Bobby. They'll blow your mind... and some other things as well."
BOBBY: "Let's bounce."
(Perry looks down at the table and sees the bill that the waitress had left earlier.)
PERRY: "Do you want me to cover the bill?"
BOBBY: "Nah... fuck it. Let 'Tammy' cover it."
(Bobby and Perry roll out in Perry's Mazda Miata, without paying the bill, as DMX's "Ruff Ryders Anthem" plays in the background.)
BOBBY: "This chicken noodle soup is excellent."
PERRY: "I have to agree with you, Bobby. This is the best chicken noodle soup that I've had in a long time."
BOBBY: "This is the kind of soup that makes me glad to be alive."
PERRY: "The soup is great, but did you notice that waitress?"
BOBBY: "Yeah, I saw her. She has a sweet, little caboose doesn't she?"
PERRY: "Not to mention legs from here to ya-ya!"
BOBBY: "Maybe I should ask her out?"
PERRY: "Go for it, man. If you don't, I will."
BOBBY: "I will... it's just that I haven't been with a woman since I broke up with Lucy."
PERRY: "Oh right, you were telling me about her. She's the one that called you an egomaniacal asshole and slapped the taste out of your mouth?"
BOBBY: "Right... that's the one."
PERRY: "Bobby, you can't spend the rest of your life sulking over some broad. You've gotta get back on the whores."
(Bobby takes a sip from his ginger ale and thinks about it for a moment.)
BOBBY: "You're right, Perry. Excuse me for one minute."
(A sexy, young waitress in a short skirt is standing behind the counter. She's reading a Hollywood gossip magazine and twirling her curly, blonde hair with her fingers. Bobby approaches her and clears his throat. When the woman looks up from the magazine, Bobby pretends to be looking at his watch.)
WAITRESS: "Can I help you, sir?"
BOBBY: "I'm sorry. I was just checking the time on my $50,000 Rolex watch."
WAITRESS: "If that's a Rolex then why does it say Casio?"
BOBBY: "My Rolex is in the shop. This is a back-up."
WAITRESS: "I see. Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?"
BOBBY: "Actually yes there is something that you can help me with, Tammy. Your name is Tammy, right? That's what it says on your nametag thingy."
WAITRESS: "Yes, my name is Tammy."
BOBBY: "Well, Tammy, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner tonight?"
WAITRESS: "Dinner? With you? No way!"
BOBBY: "No way? What the hell are you talking about? I'm a huge wrestling star. I was even the World Champion for a brief period of time!"
WAITRESS: "Hahaha! Yeah right! Your friend over there looks tougher than you!"
BOBBY: "Oh yeah? You just kissed your tip goodbye!"
WAITRESS: "Jerk!"
(Bobby shakes his head and mumbles to himself as he walks back to the table where Perry is seated.)
BOBBY: "That did not go very well."
PERRY: "No... it did not."
BOBBY: "On the plus side, I did save us a couple of bucks on the tip."
PERRY: "Sure. That's something. So, how are you feeling for tomorrow night's match?"
BOBBY: "Not as good as I was a few moments ago, but I'm doing okay."
PERRY: "This is a huge opportunity. You can earn a rematch with Biggs for the World Title."
BOBBY: "I gotta be honest with you, man. Losing that title was the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."
PERRY: "How do you figure?"
BOBBY: "I let the title go to my head. I wasn't working hard anymore. I wasn't focused. I alienated all of my friends. But now... I'm putting all of the pieces back together. I'm primed for another run to the top."
PERRY: "This is the most driven that I've seen you, man."
BOBBY: "I'm just looking forward to putting some people in the hospital. I'll save the bragging for after I get the job done, not before."
PERRY: "I'm glad to hear that, Bobby. No one talks better smack than you, but it don't mean shit if you're not backing it up."
BOBBY: "That's right. What do you say we get out of here, bro? The soup is getting cold and I need to do something about this boner."
PERRY: "No problem, man. I know some Puerto Rican girls over on Broad Street."
BOBBY: "Are they any good?"
PERRY: "They're the best, Bobby. They'll blow your mind... and some other things as well."
BOBBY: "Let's bounce."
(Perry looks down at the table and sees the bill that the waitress had left earlier.)
PERRY: "Do you want me to cover the bill?"
BOBBY: "Nah... fuck it. Let 'Tammy' cover it."
(Bobby and Perry roll out in Perry's Mazda Miata, without paying the bill, as DMX's "Ruff Ryders Anthem" plays in the background.)
