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Post by Johnny Reb on Jan 17, 2011 13:22:12 GMT -5
So, I tried something a little different with my latest RP: wcfwrestling.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=rp2010&thread=7526I don't usually ask for feedback, mainly because I'm lazy and really bad about giving it in the first place. But since I wasn't entirely sure if this went off as well as I thought it did, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. Any and all comments are welcome...  |
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Post by Doc Henry on Jan 17, 2011 13:41:22 GMT -5
Classic, I liked it!!
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Post by Jason Cashe on Jan 17, 2011 14:05:02 GMT -5
First thing I noticed is that the Grey REALLY stands out on these forums. Gives it a very nice look and easy to read. 2nd thing I notice was you made a German Accent reference, was that because of BTJ? Hehe. Then I continued reading...One thing I disliked about it and I guess I have to give honest feedback right? Spacing single sentences looks tacky to me. Just makes it look like you wanted it to appear longer but it hurts the view more than it helps the length. Again being honest...Whoever is trying to Cheat Johnny Reb...Wooo, I'd hate to be them. I liked it but it could look better in the new style.
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Post by Corey Black on Jan 17, 2011 17:19:53 GMT -5
I'll the bearer of bad news.
I honestly expected more.
Not to say it was awful or not worthy of a win, but I just didn't feel it. It wasn't clicking with me.
We all know what you can produce, and I feel this was not the best.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Jan 17, 2011 17:29:09 GMT -5
Now we can finally put you and the word blunt in the same sentence CD. Being very "Blunt" about it aren't you? Haha
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Post by Corey Black on Jan 17, 2011 17:59:05 GMT -5
Eh, yeah, works. Haha. I just know what it could have been, that's all.
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Post by Jason Cashe on Jan 17, 2011 19:18:09 GMT -5
Yeah but give credit that changing a style sometimes has it's pros and cons. You stubbed your toe Reb, put some alcohol on it and keep going forward. You have tons of talent.
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Post by Jake Keeton on Jan 17, 2011 20:39:49 GMT -5
I thought it was really good, I think the single lines add emphasis to what was being said in those lines and that the RP showed a real sense of intensity from the character.
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Post by Johnny Reb on Jan 18, 2011 9:57:43 GMT -5
Thanks, guys. I really appreciate all the open, honest comments. So... not my absolute best in terms of content; and that's probably because I rushed it a little. I wanted to get everything written down before I forgot what I was going to say... and then I ended up forgetting a bunch of stuff anyway, so... yeah. As to the format, I usually try to use line breaks like that sparingly, to add emphasis to a particular line of dialogue (as Jake observed), or to begin another line of thought. I've always thought of an RP in this millieu to be sort of like a cross between a screenplay and a really short narrative tale, which I guess comes across in the style. But if it's putting people off that much, I can always play with the format and maybe come up with something a little easier on the eyes... Anyway, thanks again, y'all! ;D |
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