Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2010 16:26:41 GMT -5
The scene fades in on Jay Price, the Undisputed Future of Professional Wrestling in case you've forgotten or become too ignorant to remember, sitting rather relaxed in an armchair with the Elite Title draped over the left arm of the chair, the People's title over the right arm and last, but certainly not least, the original WCF World Title lying on his lap. The side of his head is still heavily bandaged but the small plastic orange bottle of pills and the half empty bottle of scotch sitting on the table beside the chair seem to have him in a rather relaxed mood. He reaches blindly over for the bottle of liquor and knocks it off the table, sending it crashing to the floor.
Price: Fuck.
Again he blindly reaches toward the table, this time for the pill bottle, but he ends up spilling those too all over the floor.
Price: Double fuck. Oh well, guess I can do this shit sober.
At that moment Hank Brown walks into the scene dressed in a rather godawful brown suit and black dress shoes. Jay immediately looks down at the spilled bottle of scotch and the pills scattered and embedded into the rug and a quiver begins in his bottom lip.
Hank Brown: Umm, Jay are you okay?
Price ignores him as he continues to stare at the horrible scene on the floor below. A sole tear leaks from his eye and rolls down his cheek. Hank and the cameraman exchange confused looks as Price, who normally shows no real emotion, seems to be in a state of mind that few realized he could be in.
Hank Brown: Jay? Are you okay?
Jay seems to finally realize that Hank is in the room with him and he sits up in the chair with a confused look on his face.
Price: Huh? What the hell? How did you get into my house Brown??
Hank Brown: Your house? Jay we're not in your house...we're in a furniture store.
The cameraman pulls the shot back and does a slow sweep of the surroundings, revealing that Price and Hank are indeed sitting in the middle of a furniture store. A small crowd has begun to gather around the pair as a man dressed in a suit walks up to them looking rather angry.
Manager: Sir I'm going to have to ask you and your...friends...to leave the premises immediately. You're destroying merchandise and scaring off my customers.
Price: Hey now just hold on one second there amigo. I haven't destroyed anything and as for your customers...
Price reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bunch of bills rolled up into a crumpled ball.
Price: I'm one of them. I'm thinking about buying this here chair.
Manager: Sir this chair costs $1,500 and unless you have a few hundred dollar bills hiding amongst all those ones that I see, I'm going to again have to ask you to leave.
Price: Well I..(Price uncrumples the bills and begins to count)..umm, twenty..thirty..forty..sixty..sixty-seven..sixty-eight..seventy-eight. Okay I've got $78, I'm sure there's something in here that I can buy.
15 Minutes Later
Price, Hank and the cameraman all walk out the front door of the furniture store, with Hank carrying a large brown paper bag with the store's logo printed on the front. Price reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pair of dark sunglasses which he promptly places on his face.
Price: Goddamn sun, I never liked that bitch.
Hank: Jay I can't believe you actually bought this damn thing. I mean it's an eyesore and you obviously got ripped off.
Price: Yeah well I didn't see you speaking up and buying something to keep us from getting arrested for trespassing.
Hank: Yeah but this...
Hank reaches into the bag and pulls out a disgustingly awesome lamp shaped like a football.
Hank: This gives a whole new meaning to the term "tacky".
Price: Yeah you're probably right.
Jay takes the lamp from Hank's hands and studies it for a few seconds....and then promptly smashes it over Hank's skull, knocking him to the ground. The cameraman switches the shot back and forth from Jay to Hank lying unconscious on the ground. Jay walks off and the cameraman decides to run after him to continue the interview.
Cameraman: So Jay I noticed that you're still carrying around the Elite, People's and original World Title around with you, isn't that a little odd?
Price: Why's it odd? After all I still am the Elite People's Champion, despite my little vacation. As for the World Title belt, well despite what many people may think, I am the definition of what a true World Champion is. I am what a World Champion should look like, sound like and even walk like. Cameraman, I truly am the best in the business and I rightfully deserve to be treated as such.
Cameraman: And you don't feel as though you've been treated well?
Price: Well let's just stop and think about that for a second. Last week I'm curtain jerking against Karl fucking Voronov at a goddamn PPV nonetheless, and now this week I'm facing off against a fat ass nobody named Russle Trombone. Does that sound like the type of treatment a world class athlete like myself deserves?
Cameraman: Well you did just come back from a lengthy hiatus. Perhaps Seth has just been giving you a few tune up matches to get you back into wrestling shape.
Price: See that's the problem. Everyone thinks that I need to get back into "shape", when in reality I never lost my shape. I'm still as good as I ever was, maybe even better, and I don't need to wrestle a couple of jobbers to ready myself for my run back to the main event picture. However, Seth can continue to do as he please, after all he is the boss and he calls the shots around here. But fairly soon he's going to have no choice in the matter. Pretty soon I'm going to be taking things into my hands.
Cameraman: And by that you mean?
Price: The WAR Match my dear friend. It's coming up quicker than you realize and, unless you've forgotten, I put on quite a show last year.
Cameraman: Well nobody can doubt that, but is it wise to already be focusing that far ahead? Aren't you worried that you might be overlooking this weeks match?
Price: Look, I'm not Creeping Death. I don't lose to rookies, I decimate them. If you want proof of that I suggest you find wherever Voronov disappeared to and ask him. Now if you'll excuse me...
Price looks over to the side of the road where a pair of rather attractive female joggers have stopped for a water break and smiles.
Price: I've got to go do some "cardio".
The scene fades out with Price running across the street to catch up with the women who have started to jog again.
Price: Hey, have either of you ever slept with a champion before?
Price: Fuck.
Again he blindly reaches toward the table, this time for the pill bottle, but he ends up spilling those too all over the floor.
Price: Double fuck. Oh well, guess I can do this shit sober.
At that moment Hank Brown walks into the scene dressed in a rather godawful brown suit and black dress shoes. Jay immediately looks down at the spilled bottle of scotch and the pills scattered and embedded into the rug and a quiver begins in his bottom lip.
Hank Brown: Umm, Jay are you okay?
Price ignores him as he continues to stare at the horrible scene on the floor below. A sole tear leaks from his eye and rolls down his cheek. Hank and the cameraman exchange confused looks as Price, who normally shows no real emotion, seems to be in a state of mind that few realized he could be in.
Hank Brown: Jay? Are you okay?
Jay seems to finally realize that Hank is in the room with him and he sits up in the chair with a confused look on his face.
Price: Huh? What the hell? How did you get into my house Brown??
Hank Brown: Your house? Jay we're not in your house...we're in a furniture store.
The cameraman pulls the shot back and does a slow sweep of the surroundings, revealing that Price and Hank are indeed sitting in the middle of a furniture store. A small crowd has begun to gather around the pair as a man dressed in a suit walks up to them looking rather angry.
Manager: Sir I'm going to have to ask you and your...friends...to leave the premises immediately. You're destroying merchandise and scaring off my customers.
Price: Hey now just hold on one second there amigo. I haven't destroyed anything and as for your customers...
Price reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bunch of bills rolled up into a crumpled ball.
Price: I'm one of them. I'm thinking about buying this here chair.
Manager: Sir this chair costs $1,500 and unless you have a few hundred dollar bills hiding amongst all those ones that I see, I'm going to again have to ask you to leave.
Price: Well I..(Price uncrumples the bills and begins to count)..umm, twenty..thirty..forty..sixty..sixty-seven..sixty-eight..seventy-eight. Okay I've got $78, I'm sure there's something in here that I can buy.
15 Minutes Later
Price, Hank and the cameraman all walk out the front door of the furniture store, with Hank carrying a large brown paper bag with the store's logo printed on the front. Price reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pair of dark sunglasses which he promptly places on his face.
Price: Goddamn sun, I never liked that bitch.
Hank: Jay I can't believe you actually bought this damn thing. I mean it's an eyesore and you obviously got ripped off.
Price: Yeah well I didn't see you speaking up and buying something to keep us from getting arrested for trespassing.
Hank: Yeah but this...
Hank reaches into the bag and pulls out a disgustingly awesome lamp shaped like a football.
Hank: This gives a whole new meaning to the term "tacky".
Price: Yeah you're probably right.
Jay takes the lamp from Hank's hands and studies it for a few seconds....and then promptly smashes it over Hank's skull, knocking him to the ground. The cameraman switches the shot back and forth from Jay to Hank lying unconscious on the ground. Jay walks off and the cameraman decides to run after him to continue the interview.
Cameraman: So Jay I noticed that you're still carrying around the Elite, People's and original World Title around with you, isn't that a little odd?
Price: Why's it odd? After all I still am the Elite People's Champion, despite my little vacation. As for the World Title belt, well despite what many people may think, I am the definition of what a true World Champion is. I am what a World Champion should look like, sound like and even walk like. Cameraman, I truly am the best in the business and I rightfully deserve to be treated as such.
Cameraman: And you don't feel as though you've been treated well?
Price: Well let's just stop and think about that for a second. Last week I'm curtain jerking against Karl fucking Voronov at a goddamn PPV nonetheless, and now this week I'm facing off against a fat ass nobody named Russle Trombone. Does that sound like the type of treatment a world class athlete like myself deserves?
Cameraman: Well you did just come back from a lengthy hiatus. Perhaps Seth has just been giving you a few tune up matches to get you back into wrestling shape.
Price: See that's the problem. Everyone thinks that I need to get back into "shape", when in reality I never lost my shape. I'm still as good as I ever was, maybe even better, and I don't need to wrestle a couple of jobbers to ready myself for my run back to the main event picture. However, Seth can continue to do as he please, after all he is the boss and he calls the shots around here. But fairly soon he's going to have no choice in the matter. Pretty soon I'm going to be taking things into my hands.
Cameraman: And by that you mean?
Price: The WAR Match my dear friend. It's coming up quicker than you realize and, unless you've forgotten, I put on quite a show last year.
Cameraman: Well nobody can doubt that, but is it wise to already be focusing that far ahead? Aren't you worried that you might be overlooking this weeks match?
Price: Look, I'm not Creeping Death. I don't lose to rookies, I decimate them. If you want proof of that I suggest you find wherever Voronov disappeared to and ask him. Now if you'll excuse me...
Price looks over to the side of the road where a pair of rather attractive female joggers have stopped for a water break and smiles.
Price: I've got to go do some "cardio".
The scene fades out with Price running across the street to catch up with the women who have started to jog again.
Price: Hey, have either of you ever slept with a champion before?
