Post by Deleted on May 2, 2006 21:06:59 GMT -5
[Bobby is sitting on his bed with a joint in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other. He's wearing boxer shorts and a tank top; the WCF World Title is strapped around his waist. Bobby takes a hit from the joint, inhales deeply and slowly exhales. Then he takes a shot of Jack. Bobby's girlfriend Lucy, having just arrived at Bobby's apartment after work, walks into the room. She's taken aback by what she sees.]
Lucy: "What are you doing, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Hey, babe. I'm just celebrating my little victory from the other night. Did you see the way I punked Outcast? He didn't know what hit him! I took that bastard for a Wild Ride!"
Lucy: "You have a tag team match in 5 days. Do you really think smoking weed and drinking Jack Daniels is the best way to prepare?"
Bobby: "Ugh... don't remind me about that bogus match. I can't believe they're teaming me with that glorified jobber JJ Biggs. I'm the World Champ! They should have brought in a real man like Steven Seagal to team with me!"
[Bobby puts the bottle of Jack down on the nightstand and the joint in an ashtray. He stumbles over to Lucy, wraps his arm around her and gives her a big kiss.]
Bobby: "But at least I'm not facing any real competition this week. They have me matched up against a little girl and some fucking Buff Bagwell wannabe! It's a total squash match. I won't even break a ballsweat!"
Lucy: "So this is the new Bobby Cairo? Now that you've won the title you don't need to train, you don't need to stay in shape? You can just do whatever you want?"
Bobby: "Yes that's right, Lucy. I am the champ. I don't have to train. I don't have to diet. I don't have to take orders from anyone. You don't like that? Too bad!"
[Lucy is disgusted by Bobby's attitude. She shoves him away and slaps him in the face.]
Bobby: "Are you crazy? You don't slap me! I'm the motherfucking champ!"
Lucy: "Winning that title has turned you into an asshole, Bobby! You used to be hard-working and dedicated. Now you're an egomaniac!"
Bobby: "I don't need this shit. You are nothing! Do you understand that? I am the World Heavyweight Champion. I can have any woman that I want, and you know what? I don't want you and I sure as hell don't need you. Get the fuck out of my apartment, you silly bitch!"
[Lucy grabs her purse and stomps out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.]
Bobby: "I'm better off as a bachelor anyway. I'm hot shit. I'm a stud. I don't want to be held back by some relationship."
[Bobby takes another shot of Jack.]
Bobby: "I still can't believe that crazy bitch slapped me... SLAPPED ME!! I'm Bobby Cairo damn it! You don't disrespect Bobby Cairo! Bobby Cairo disrespects you damn it!"
[Bobby polishes off the bottle, à la John Belushi in Animal House.]
Bobby: "Shit... I need to get out of here. Need to clear my mind. Need to celebrate. I'm on top now. Nobody can touch me. Everybody wants this title but nobody can take it away from me!"
[Bobby throws the bottle at the wall, shattering it to pieces.]
Bobby: "I'm the champ."
[Bobby slumps down in his bed and sighs.]
Lucy: "What are you doing, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Hey, babe. I'm just celebrating my little victory from the other night. Did you see the way I punked Outcast? He didn't know what hit him! I took that bastard for a Wild Ride!"
Lucy: "You have a tag team match in 5 days. Do you really think smoking weed and drinking Jack Daniels is the best way to prepare?"
Bobby: "Ugh... don't remind me about that bogus match. I can't believe they're teaming me with that glorified jobber JJ Biggs. I'm the World Champ! They should have brought in a real man like Steven Seagal to team with me!"
[Bobby puts the bottle of Jack down on the nightstand and the joint in an ashtray. He stumbles over to Lucy, wraps his arm around her and gives her a big kiss.]
Bobby: "But at least I'm not facing any real competition this week. They have me matched up against a little girl and some fucking Buff Bagwell wannabe! It's a total squash match. I won't even break a ballsweat!"
Lucy: "So this is the new Bobby Cairo? Now that you've won the title you don't need to train, you don't need to stay in shape? You can just do whatever you want?"
Bobby: "Yes that's right, Lucy. I am the champ. I don't have to train. I don't have to diet. I don't have to take orders from anyone. You don't like that? Too bad!"
[Lucy is disgusted by Bobby's attitude. She shoves him away and slaps him in the face.]
Bobby: "Are you crazy? You don't slap me! I'm the motherfucking champ!"
Lucy: "Winning that title has turned you into an asshole, Bobby! You used to be hard-working and dedicated. Now you're an egomaniac!"
Bobby: "I don't need this shit. You are nothing! Do you understand that? I am the World Heavyweight Champion. I can have any woman that I want, and you know what? I don't want you and I sure as hell don't need you. Get the fuck out of my apartment, you silly bitch!"
[Lucy grabs her purse and stomps out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.]
Bobby: "I'm better off as a bachelor anyway. I'm hot shit. I'm a stud. I don't want to be held back by some relationship."
[Bobby takes another shot of Jack.]
Bobby: "I still can't believe that crazy bitch slapped me... SLAPPED ME!! I'm Bobby Cairo damn it! You don't disrespect Bobby Cairo! Bobby Cairo disrespects you damn it!"
[Bobby polishes off the bottle, à la John Belushi in Animal House.]
Bobby: "Shit... I need to get out of here. Need to clear my mind. Need to celebrate. I'm on top now. Nobody can touch me. Everybody wants this title but nobody can take it away from me!"
[Bobby throws the bottle at the wall, shattering it to pieces.]
Bobby: "I'm the champ."
[Bobby slumps down in his bed and sighs.]
