Post by Bonnie Blue on Mar 10, 2019 14:46:06 GMT -5
Statesboro, Georgia isn't exactly Bonnie's idea of a romantic honeymoon spot; but as John gently reminds her, there are duties to be upheld as the face of WCF, and at any rate, at least it's warmer than this week's Nebraska venue. Besides, there are worse ways to spend a working honeymoon than joining longtime friend and fellow Guardian Damian Kaine for his weekly podcast. Kaine welcomes the couple into his home -- a sprawling, five bedroom, neoclassical house in a picturesque setting among tall oaks festooned with Spanish moss -- exchanging a brief handshake with John Rabid, and a warm hug with Bonnie Blue. Together, the three walk through the foyer, the spacious and tastefully decorated living room, and down a hall into a den refitted as a recording studio. At Damian's invitation, Bonnie and Rabid take seats at a long, curved table in front of professional grade mics, slipping on the headsets while Kaine sets up to record.
Damian Kaine: Hi, and welcome to the Mark of Kaine podcast. As always, I'm your host, Damian Kaine -- and today I'm joined by two very special guests: my good friend, founding member of the Guardians, and current WCF World Champion, Bonnie Blue; and former World Champion, longest reigning TV Champion, John Rabid. Welcome, both of you.
John Rabid: Thanks, Damian. We're ecstatic to be here.
Bonnie Blue: Yeah, it's a real pleasure. I've missed you, bro. How's life outside the ring?
DK: Can't complain. Y'know I'm pretty much on Cloud Nine ever since Ally told me she was expecting, so there's that…
BB: Sounds exciting. When's she due?
DK: Any day, now. We're pretty stoked -- nervous, but stoked. But you two… wow. I never woulda pictured Bonnie Blue and John Rabid as a couple, and now you're both married. Congrats, by the way. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail?
JR: Actually, Damian, we didn't invite anyone. We're planning on having a more intimate reception, close friends only, after Kingdom Come. As Bonnie's manager, I don't want my champ distracted with a big defense on the horizon. Particularly considering she's got a soft spot for Alex Richards.
BB: Really? Ya gotta bring that up right now?
DK: Well, to be fair to Bonnie, Alex is one of her oldest friends, tag partner, and the first guy recruited to the Guardians after they formed in UCI. Plus, he did win the UCI Title from Howard Black.
JR: My point precisely, Damian. Alex Richards may not be much of a wrestler, but there's the rare occasion when he gets a fire lit under him -- especially when there's gold on the line. Sentiment is a luxury we can't afford when it comes to Bonnie's World Title. She worked hard for it, and she deserves to carry it longer than a month. She's already proven she could best the woman who bested Alex Richards, so, ipso facto Bonnie can overcome Alex himself.
BB: I mean, y'ain't wrong, hon. I know I've let my friendship with Alex get in the way before, but that was then. Ain’t fixing to happen this time -- not now that I know what kinda guy Richards really is, using a flimsy excuse to suddenly declare an end to our friendship. Like that ain't transparent as Hell, right?
DK: Yeah. Alex never struck me as that kinda guy, but I guess there's no telling with some people. But let's get back to this whole marriage thing. I mean… how did Bonnie Blue and John Rabid go from being adversaries, to comrades in #Beachkrew, to lovers and now the hottest power couple in WCF?
BB: Well, I mean, who knows how this kinda thing happens? I reckon there was always something there, some chemistry or whatever, but we were never quite vibing on the same wavelength, y'know? And even if we had been, I wasn't about to mess around with a married man. I got more class than that, and so does John. That's one thing I always respected; no matter how much a scoundrel John Rabid can be, he's always been entirely faithful to the woman he loves.
JR: Which is more than can be said for some people. Nevertheless, Bonnie and I found each other, and what began as mutual enmity matured over the years into what we share now.
DK: I feel like you're not telling me quite the whole story. Would that have something to do with the book you wrote?
JR: As a matter of fact, Damian, it would. Anyone who's been following WCF knows the history between Bonnie and myself, but there are a lot of behind-the-scenes details that are only available in my new non-fiction book: How to Manage a World Champion, due out in October of this year; available for the Kindle, at Amazon-dot-com, and at finer booksellers all over the globe.
DK: Sounds intriguing. Such a controversial figure in combat sports, from running your own promotion out of London, multiple title reigns here in WCF, to the SJW scandal -- I'd better pre-order my copy if I don't want to be the last guy reading it.
BB: While we're doin’ shameless plugs, don't forget to look for my line of workout videos “Bonnie Blue presents: Champion’s Advantage”, available exclusively through Amazon Prime. There's a series for every fitness level, from the casual beginner through the dedicated professional.
DK: Damn! Bonnie got that hustle going again! Just like in the good old days at UCI.
BB: Almost, except better. UCI, great as it was for getting out of the shadow of my daddy's legacy, is the past. Now we're looking forward to the future, Damian. And that future is glorious -- but first, I have to deal with the challenge in front of me this week.
JR: If you can even call Jayson Price a challenge at this point. He's a broken, defeated man with so little pride left that he allowed himself to be swindled by the entire Mustache clan -- which, honestly, you have to be desperate to so thoroughly debase yourself.
BB: I reckon havin’ the clap wasn't good enough for our boy Price. Too common. And anybody can get plain ol’ genital herpes. Nah, dude wanted something exotic. So he burrowed his way up Mama Stache's cooch and got hisself shit they ain't even got names for yet. Already had hepatitis A through C; why not go for the rest of the alphabet, right?
Guess ya can't say ya walked away from that whole fiasco with nothin’, can ya Price? I mean, sure, your massive fortune is long gone; your real estate holdings are history; and all your expensive toys, that lavish lifestyle -- nothing but a memory. But you'll always have those four weeks you spent buried in the toxic, festering stench-trench of a woman who looks like she got run over by a Zamboni -- twice.
Not that I expect higher standards from a man who carried on a long term relationship with Shannan Lerch after Logan had her, but still… These are clearly the actions of a man bent not merely on self-destruction, but complete annihilation.
Well, congratulations Price. You're about to finally get your wish Monday night, in front of eight thousand fans at the Baxter Arena, when I bring back #WrestlingGenocide for one final encore.
‘Cause see, you ain't the only one your actions had an effect on. I will never forgive you for having participated in the idiot shenanigans that overshadowed my first WCF World Title reign. And this week, in Omaha, Nebraska, I'mma make damn sure you pay for it!
Can ya hear me, Jayson? Or are you still crying about losing your spot in the tag league finals? You can blame Vinny Augustine all you want, but in the long run, you were always going to fail. Or did you really imagine that you could drag your lame horse of a partner to a victory he was clearly unwilling to share? That you would subsequently dare step to me for this belt you've been dying to recapture since… when was the last time “Mr. Every Title” actually held a title, anyway?
Let me answer that for ya, Price. It was way back in 2017, when you and Ethan King were tag champs for a hot minute. More than a year ago. Whereas I was a champion three times over in 2018 alone! Hardcore Champ, Tag Champ, and World Champion… and now I'm holding it for my second time. But you still want to put your failures square on Augustine’s shoulders, instead of taking responsibility for your own shortcomings. No wonder you thought you could only find relevance in the far end of a disease-ridden, bottomless pit.
So yeah, you get your revenge on Vinny and what's he do? He comes right back a week later to fuck your shit up and cost you what shoulda been an easy victory over James Wolf -- James fucking Wolf, of all people, Jayson! That's pathetic for a man of your experience! And the best part? He didn't even have to lay a finger on you to do it! His music hits, and you just stand there with your proverbial dick in your hand while Wolfie rolls you up for the three count.
JR:What's that old saying? “Fool me once…” et cetera? Well, then, shame on you, Price, for letting Vincent Augustine get the drop on you a second time. You keep passively allowing people to fuck you over, take advantage of you and then talk a lot about payback, but you never really accomplish much. Disappointing, really. Once the preeminent talent of your generation; now a man who gets dick-kicked over crying for inclusion in the Hall of Fame while the fans laugh in your face. How much farther can you fall, Jayson?
BB: That's just it, Jayson. You've fallen so far, you're at rock bottom. You're desperate, and desperation is fucking with your judgement. You're over there thinking you're gonna re-establish your credibility against this World Champion. You're thinking, ‘cause the competition these days is a little light, that you're gonna have it easy; that you're gonna put Bonnie Blue down for that one-two-three and put yourself back on the map.
Now, if I were Noble Savage, then maybe -- just maybe -- that might make a little bit of sense. But Jayson, y'ain't lookin’ across that ring at somebody who won WAR basically on a fluke; ‘cause ol’ Joey Flash got cocky and assumed he had it easy once it came down to just him and her. You're not lookin’ at some lost soul who rode somebody else's coattails and then choked when shit got real. You ain't lookin’ at a paper champion who only got as far as she did through a combination of cheating, blind luck, and somehow makin’ anybody believe there was even a hint of substance behind that “Soul Witch” facade.
DK: Preach, sister!
BB: What you are lookin’ at, Mr. Price, is a woman who dominated United Championship Infinite from the minute the ink on my contract was dry to the moment the last bell sounded -- as Tag, Intercontinental, and World Champion in some combination; never going more than three weeks without one belt or another around my waist. My successes at UCI drove Spencer Adams batshit crazy with jealousy until he couldn't take it anymore. Rather than see Bonnie Blue with another World Title reign, he shut down the company and sold off all the assets to a little shithole promotion briefly known as New Blood Wrestling -- before it, too, collapsed under the sheer weight of star power that the owner had no idea how to maximize.
You're lookin’ at the only woman handpicked and inducted into the ranks of #Beachkrew as an equal, not some plaything to amuse Jared Holmes; and I mean the original version, not the shitty AW reboot. Chosen. Initiated. Named the #DeepBlueSea, and Jayson, you best believe the tide is rising once again.
You're lookin’ at someone who fought tooth and nail for the recognition I've deserved for years; and that for years, this company -- WCF -- denied me!
Yet I persisted; and why? Because I goddess-damned care! Not only about my own career, but the Dub as a whole.
You? You want all this recognition for being the great Jayson Price; two-time Grand Slam Champion; Mr. Every Title; and yet, what have you done to deserve that recognition? You let Seth Lerch dick-kick you literally. You let Mama Mustache dick-kick you figuratively. You let Vincent Augustine get one over on you, on two separate occasions and failed to do a damn thing about any of it -- aside from one half assed victory in a filler match at Til Death!
Where is the Jayson Price of old? The one who used to give a shit? The Jayson Price who, and I quote, “won more matches than anyone not named Corey Black or Logan”? The Jayson Price who ended Chelsea Armstrong’s career just to make a point? You got him tied up in a broom closet somewhere? ‘Cause that's the dude I want to fight -- not this whipped dog that snaps and growls until Master shows him the stick, then retreats to his corner to whine and make excuses.
And y'know, Jayson, of all the things you whine about, one stands out most -- probably ‘cause you mention it every week:
You keep sayin’ people are tryin’ to write the end of your story; to write you off as finished, and forget you. I ain't gonna do that, Jayson. I know how annoying that is. I won't mention how you used to be the lifeblood of Pantheon, or that once upon a time you were not only relevant, but a man to be feared. I won't talk about how many opportunities you've wasted; how nobody can take you as anything but a perpetual buffoon, however vicious and savage you once were; or how you'll always be that chump who got blindsided by Seth Lerch. I ain't even fixing to claim to send you riding off into the sunset after I beat your ass in front of eight thousand fans Monday night.
Nah, ‘cause I know you'll be back, crawling up outta the drain pipes like the cockroach you are; coming up with a whole fresh batch of excuses why ya lost. Maybe you'll have Vincent Augustine to blame. Maybe you'll claim John Rabid distracted you from ringside. Maybe you'll try to pass it off as being too drunk to care because, after all, I'm only the World Champion. No big deal. Just so long as you can put the blame anywhere other than where it belongs: right at your own damn feet.
And while you grind on with the next less-than-relevant match against the latest incarnation of Adam Young, or Sammy “Baked Beanz” McQueerson, or whatever other nameless, hopeless never-gonna-be; shouting “I still matter!” the whole time -- well, sugar, I'mma be out in that ring making a goddess-damned difference. Main-eventing. Remember what that was like? Defending my title. Being better than everyone; being the champion this company deserves!
Because I’m Bonnie muthafuckin’ Blue! The Hardcore Queen; the Serpentine; the #DeepBlueSea. I'm the last member of #Beachkrew. The first and final Guardian.
But above all, I'm the WCF World Champion and at Slam on Monday night, I'm gonna show y'all exactly what that means!
DK: God damn! That was hot! But unfortunately we're out of time for this edition of the Mark of Kaine podcast! Bonnie, John, thanks again for joining me and for that electrifying interview! And one more time, congratulations to both of you on the wedding, and to you, Bonnie, on your second World Title win! This is Damian Kaine, signing off!