Post by Odin Balfore on Feb 22, 2019 0:52:03 GMT -5
RP 1
TILL DEATH
Tag Team League Championship
The Enforcers
Vs
Super Kick Uncensored
Wordcount: 4379
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PART ONE: BURY ME A (D.R.) G - VIRUS
Fade in. the orange and pink sunsets splash across the sky as The Enforcers ride the surf on the back of Hubert, the smack addicted killer whale, towards a small island just off the coast of Poonguinea. Alex looked sea sick as Odin stood there, bare chested with his arms crossed, standing head strong into the wind as Hubert jetted along at a swift 25 knots.
ALEX
I don’t feel so good.
ODIN
Its the stank of New Zealand. They shoot three Lord of the Rings movies and now they think their shit don’t stink but its does. That's what you smell- the shit from an island populated by filthy sheep fucking hobitsess. The island that I’m giving you is well, may or may not be nautically close to New Zealand. I mean I could have given you a Pantheon Tower: NG but I’m not a cheap asshole. I’m a wizard and wizards give away islands enchanted with magical rivers of beer and prime rib forests. Its my way of saying that after all these years of you being a fuck up and a spaz - that's I aint got no hard feelings. Me and you - we gotta win that Tag Team League in honor of the Tag Team Championships. They may be defunct but they are not forgotten. Unlike the following titles:
Cruiser - weight
Elite
International
Trios
Alpha
Internet
US
Peoples
Confederate
Possibly even an OMEGA championship because I feel that would have been a Johnny Rabid power grab.
Now the tag team championship is defunct and rightfully so - there never was a steady stream of tag teams. So this week, we honor them and in honoring them, I cannot fully do so unless I make peace with you and offer you this token of our tag team glory.
They pull up to the island and take it all its glory. A regular tropical paradise.
ODIN
Welcome to Zim Quilla Island
ALEX
Mother fucker, is that a brontosaurus rearing up to welcome us?
ODIN
Oh yah. It was um- Isla Sorna site X, back in the day. They were gonna make these human/dinosaur hybrids but decided to pull the plug for some reason.
ALEX
Are there hybrids still on the island?
ODIN
I have no idea. I just kinda enchanted it, I haven't checked it out in a couple of years.
They step off the whale and onto the island. Alex takes a deep breath
ALEX: Thank you, my friend.
ODIN: Come on, lets walk around your new island paradise.
They advance into the jungle among the coos and kaws or jungle life. Its hot and green, sub tropical heat is a bitch.
ALEX
Hey Odin, do you think they breed raptors on the island?
ODIN
Jobbers of unusual size? I don’t think they exist.
With that, Odin just cursed himself as he gets tackled by a forced that rips through the jungle walls. Odin struggles and shouts for help.
ODIN
Ah god, they exist, they exist! I was wrong, they fucking exist! Ah God, its suckin the talent from my soul!
Golden particles of the All Father aura can be seen escaping his body as Alex picks up a tree branch and bats the jobber off. The jobber is deformed, green, sickly and covered in a neon green goop. The Jobber is Crazy J, former wcf hardcore champion.
ALEX
Crazy J, whats he doing here?
Alex pokes him with a stick and he springs back to life, only for Alex to club him to death with rage filled grunts.
ODIN
Did- did you just kill crazy J?
ALEX
Yah, it wasnt really that hard.
ODIN
Hmp, I guess not.
ALEX
What the hell was that shit?
ODIN
Seems the Costa Rican shadow government has a new backer in town. El Chapo used to fund the research to make unstoppable drug mules so that he could take over all of central America but with him in the custody of Trumps toddler hands, Site G needed new cash flow. Lets go, Alex. We gotta get to the research lab, I think I remember where it is. We gotta get to the bottom of this.
Alex Helps Odin to his feet as the Enforcers make their way deeper into the Poon-lantian jungle, in search of some answers.
The Enforcers come across the visors center, that's still in good shape. Its clearly been used recently. They walk inside and starts searching the place.
ODIN
Alex, see if you can find a kiosk. Look for a sub basement. The research lab is down there somewhere.
ALEX
What are you doing to do?
ODIN
I’m going to go to the gift shop get a sweet T-shirt and a lunch box.
Odin leaves the scene as we follow Alex around in a 360 view of Alex looking for the information kiosk. He finds it, scrolling along with his index finger. He triple taps but finds nothings. A black T-shirt lands on Alex's head has Odin comes back into view. Alex takes the shirt off his head and talk to Odin.
ALEX
Theres nothing listed. We’re going to have to break into the basement.
ODIN
Agreed. Lets go find the equipment shed, theres gotta be a hidden entrance around here somewhere.
ALEX
We might need some protection, there might be more of that Crazy J.
They look around and find a pair of fire axes under glass. Odin smashes the glass as the alarm is triggered. A view outside the guest center shows dozens of jobbers slowly moving towards that location. The Enforcers grab the axes and head out to find the equipment shed. They move around the back of the compound and find the equipment shed. Alex knees down and inspects the lock.
ALEX
The locks pretty common. Commercial stuff for like, dorms and offices. I think I can pick it, if only I had a way.
Odin roots around in his pocket and comes out with two bobby pins and a pocket knife.
ODIN
Here, Alex. Its not quite a lockpick but you, the master of unlocking would have a better time with it that I would. My hands are too big to pick fine locks.
Alex gets busy, picking the lock but as he does, the bobby pin breaks
ALEX
Hmp, seems somebody already tried picking this lock.
ODIN
Filthy, fucking Hobbitses. WE HATES THEM (- EM-EM!)
Odins primal yell, attracts the jobbers as dozens of them, mostly Adam Youngs friends appear at the tree line.
ODIN
You better hurry, we have company.
The jobbers charge as Odin roars and starts swinging the ax, taking heads off a few of them. They keep coming as Odin can just about keep up. More jobber come out the woodwork
ALEX
Got it.
They barge through the door and shut it behind them as the jobber bang on the door trying to get in. They make their way down the pitch black stairwell and down the hall that's lit up by small yellow emergency lights. They find their way through markings on the walls and head towards Research laboratory 1337. They enter the emergency exit hallway for the laboratory to find that it is completely lit up. They walk past a hidden sensor and trigger an Alarm
Anastasia petrova: You’re all going to die down here.
ALEX
Well, that's comforting.
ODIN
Bah, just a ploy to scare the wayward tourist.
ALEX
On an island, that only you, a drug kingpin and a shadowy faceless government know about. ON an island populated by dinosaurs in a storage shed that's been sealed away for decades, in a underground laboratory that no one could possibly know about unless irs a need to know basis.
ODIN
Do you feel that; its the plot thickening.
ALEX
If the plot is wet, smells like asparagus, then yes because I think I just pissed myself. How do you talk me into this? How do you even get into these crazy adventure?
ODIN
I dunno but I’ve been getting paid for it for like twenty years, so why stop now?
ALEX
Do you think SKU is behind this?
ODIN
Rabids not creative enough to have this elaborate of a scheme and I don’t think Speede would do something like this. Besides, I just married their effigies the other day because Speedes families into incest and ritual blood pacts.
[ FOOTAGE NOT FOUND ]
Alex shakes his head and grumbles to himself.
ALEX
Fuckin wizards, man.
ODIN
Come on, we gotta find out whos behind all these jobbers.
The Enforcers continue on down the hall. They enter the lab but a steel security door drops behind them. In front of them are cryo-pods, between ten and twelve. A few have been opened by design and a few have been broken open from the inside.
ALEX
What the hell is all of this?
Anastasia Petrova: Intruder alert. Threat Level: BIG TIME JERKS
The pod marked “Big Time Jerks” opens as green zombie versions of former tag team champions, Big Time Jerks and look feral. The Enforcers pick up their axes and charge BTJ and cut them down.
Anastasia Petrova: Threat Level: DANGERTAINMENT
Jason KA$h and Wunderlust come out of of their pod. The Enforcers cut those jobbers down with ease, considering that DANGERTAINMENT wasnt around very long.
ALEX
We should find the backup system and try and shut this stuff down before more of them come out of those pods.
They start searching around. Odin searches the main room as Alex looks into some offices. He finds something and calls Odin over. Alex came across a journal on a desk.
11/12/15
I have seen the tip of the iceberg. I have seen the lows of the sea. After I had to strip Fly and Flash of the tag team championships, I have come to the realization that the division will never take off. I have decided that if WCF will not keep it running, that I will. I have worked with El Chapo to obtain an Island 100 miles off the coast of New Zealand for the purpose of rebuilding and maintaining the WCF Tag Team division.
07/10/16
Things are coming together. DRG are tag team champions. I have developed a serum that has the loyalty of Thomas Bates and the ferocity of Gemini Battle. The serum, I called the Tag Team Virus, or T-Virus for short will soon go into production and I will start mass producing famous tag team champions of the past and present as a way to preserve the great tradition of tag team wrestling.
08/18/16
Just found out Gemini Battle is or was a space alien. Not sure how this will affect the test subjects.
07/16/17
Everest are world champions. This is fantastic. Still forging ahead with my plans. So far, all experiments have failed. The T Virus has been upgraded and modified to the (D.R.) G - Virus, however, All Experiments just wear breastplates, ride motorcycles and make awkward political commentaries that were funny and charming at first but soon have become annoying and grating.
09/22/17
A Breakthrough. A sample of Zombie McMorris’s blood has been obtained from my mole in Universal Championship Infinite. Hoping that ZMACS blood will neutralize the faggotry of the (D.R.)G - Virus. Serums new codename: Immortality.
ALEX
Seth was trying to re-create an artificial tag team division after Fly and Flash lost the tag team championships.
ODIN
My god. Using the DRGs DNA to make a tag team serum. Seth is a real fucking mad man.
ALEX
Then he used ZMAC to counteract the negative effects.
ODIN
That explains why their all green and goopy. ZMACs immortality combined with his heavy drug use has made their DNA too unstable. Come on, we should go find the main power core.
The Enforcers go back out into the main room and walk past all the cryo-pods.
ALEX
Devastation, Inc, DKX, XRATED, Team of Treachery.. Broken out. Monster Squad… There's even a Creeping Death and Rick Mad. .. The Ladykillers...The Perfect Alliance.. That pods open. The New Confederacy.. Almost every major championship team is here. They must have shut the lab down when ZMACS blood made them too unstable.
ODIN
He must have had Team Science helping him. Reemus and NvL were smart dudes. They just couldnt crack that DNA code.
ALEX
We should get top side after we kill the power.
ODIN
Word.
ALEX
Theres only a few teams missing. The odds of us running into them are slim. I really appreciate all this - as messed up as it is but we need to focus on SKU and winning the tag team league.
ODIN
I’ll go find the power core, you try and unlock those security doors.
Odin leaves Alex to try and override the security system as he searches for the power core, as he does a hologram of Dr. Reemus Micayle appears and follows him; disappearing and reappearing every few steps.
REEMUS
Where are you going, Odin?
ODIN
I gotta shut this abomination down, Reemus. Where the hell is the power core?
REEMUS
I cannot let you do that, Odin. Our research is not yet complete.
ODIN
Well its about to be. Seth should have let the tag division die years ago. Now look at this mess.
REEMUS
Did you know when Disney went live, nothing worked? These things take time.
ODIN
Well, times up.
Reemus lets out an inhuman screech as Ana Petrova makes another announcement.
Ana Petrova: Threat Alert: THE PERFECT ALLIANCE
Odin grumbles.
ODIN
Great. Where the hell is the power core, Reemus?
Reemus disappears as the emergency lighting comes on and a fire alarm goes off throughout the compound. Odin keeps moving and finds the power core, however, inside he finds Ryan Blake and Michael Santiago, the perfect Alliance; Odins own stable from back in the day.
ODIN
I’m shutting this down, Santi-man. Don’t think I won’t go through you to do it. This whole operation is an abomination and I will destroy it for the good of WCF.
Odin gets hit with a double superkick as he rocked backwards. He swings his axe but hits a pipe. Steam spews everywhere as the Alliance advance. Odin swings, taking off Santiagos head. He knocks Blake the ground and hesitates killing his first student.
ODIN
ARHH!!! You’re not real! I’m going to finish off the Tag Team Division, mark my words.. And it will.. Be.. epic..
Odin lobs off Blakes head. He takes a moment to collect himself before making his way to the core reactor. Odin sghs and reflects on his tag team career.
ODIN
I’m a two time tag team champion. I’m part of a legendary tag team. I once gave this division life and now- its time I put it to death. Or at least, this incarnation.
Odin overhand spikes the ax into the power core, once, twice, four times as the lights flicker and go out. The power is disabled. Odin walks back to ALEX to check on his progress.
ALEX
You cut the power before I could get the door open. We’ll have to brute it open.
The Enforcers go over to the security door, reaching down and try to pry it open.
ODIN
One.. Two… ARRGHH!!!
They pry the door up and escape the laboratory. They run around towards the front of the guest center and catch their breath.
ODIN
I have a pin on my watch that’ll signal for Tony Danza and he’ll scramble with a helicopter. Theres a helipad on the roof, if we get there, Tony will be here in about two and half minutes.
The Enforcers head around the back of the building and find the access ladder to the roof. They climb it and Odin pulls the pin on his watch, signaling for Tony Danza. Cut to some rumbling in the basement of the laboratory, where something big is still lurking.
ALEX
I cant wait till we get back to the states and beat the snot out of SKU. Roy Speede, Johnny Rabid, alone they are woeful and morose. Alone they splinter and fault under the pressure of a grain of sand. Roy Speede, heir apparent to WCF royalty. Son of Logan, nephew of Jay Price. He possess the worst of both men, and little if any, of their best qualities. Perhaps his best quality is that you are a plucky underdog.Even that has grown wasteful as your repeated returns, lack luster matches and worse still, championship reigns have endeared you as the one that never quite got there. “
ODIN
Yah, don’t I know it. Then theres Johnny Rabid, the 2017 wrestler of the year. The TV champion of the same year. The former world champion. What sets him on this path today? he supposed to be strong, vial and calculating. He attacked Odin Balfore with a cricket bat and now he, himself is about to be slugged upon by a most superior wood. What happened to being the brains of the Bonnie Blue World Championship; perhaps that was just an experiment. Perhaps that would just be a dry run for his run. However, where is his run? If he were so great and mighty, where is his World Championship? That's right, he don’t have one. If he were the one pulling the strings, you would have the match this week against Young Brandi and not that wooden post you call student. The Carpenters wet dream, has somehow become your 20 grit nightmare. he put yourself in this perilous position, the both of you. They saw the Tag Team prize and thought that they were going to pick up a win and get in that World Championship scene. When was the last time that happened; too long ago. No one remembers either of them, despite all your wishy-washy bullshit. The Two of them combine for a ten pence whore that I’m going rip apart like a dog shreds wet newspaper. Those careers have built to this moment; this is your next big thing. For me and you, Alex, for the Enforcers, this is just what we do. WE are tag team specialists. It’ll be our names in the history books as the first ever Tag Team League Winners. Then theres these guys, married to each other, married with a half of a good super kick between you. Superkick Uncensored.
LOL
Look at what I am doing to them now - giving them fits - let alone in the middle of the ring at Till Death. They did this because together, they need that last gasp in those careers. Eight years into WCF and I’m still going strong, doing this because the Tag Team Championship needs a proper send off and I am the of the last tag team champions. Kazward, respect. those two however, the fucking drooping eyes between you tell me just how right I am. Those two, dying for their cause, standing before me, I now pronounce you jobber and jobber, the Martyrs of Winter.
With the union of husband and wife, jobber and jobbett, the legendary career of Roy Speede and the disastrous failure of Johnny Rabid, the Superkick Uncensored faggotry was born and we’re sure that they’ll do some dumb shit, call it epic and Roy Speede will prance around the maypole like the silver lining that he thinks he is - yet never was. The on again -off again, charismatic enigma ( charismatic is used ironically in this sense ) will strut out with his strong style Bullshit, AKAst punches and kicks and suplexs. Its called wrestling. W- R-E-S- P- E- C-T. The ricky flippys of the world call it strong style because doing it makes them feel strong, as it makes Rabid feel strong. Makes Rabid feel strong because you are not strong, as much as he thinks he is .So strong, he needs Roy Speede to carry him across that finish line and trust me when I tell you that he will carry damn well close to it but the Enforcers are gonna swoop in and bust that autismo jaw line of his with a belt sander and ride off on the back of his dear sweet Bonnie Blue - ride them finger lickin poon tails into a world title match. Not that I need it - its for the kids. For the John Rabids of the world that need to be shown that greater men come in different shapes, and sizes and not just pathetic strong styles and silver linings.
We didnt come all this way for nothing. We didnt get to the end of this tournament to wither and die, to bow to some Super kick Uncensored, some SPOKE fyre festival bullshit. Some BOOM HEAD SHOT, one off retread. I get it, they are creatively bankrupt. We are 4 and 0 in the tournament because WE cant be stopped. At Till death, it’ll be just that because these two mother fuckers are going to have to kill us but they cant. We gonna hit them with that Zim Quilla Nightmare and put them away for good.
CRASH! BANG! RAAWWRRRR
A eight foot tall TYRANT of a monster crashes through the floor of the roof. This DRG Tyrant, exposed muscle, wearing a breastplate, mutated, green and purple. The head of Thomas Bates is malformed and misshapen. He approaches the Enforcers as they cautiously step back. Alex looks around and sees a tool box. He rushes over to it and finds a flare gun. He shoots it at the Tyrants face but it just bounces off. He shoots another one but it bounces off the breast plate and lands on the ground below. The Tyrant moves closer as Odin puts his arm out as the Tyrant growls and rasps out a few words.
TYRANT
Heart.. Soul… Heart.. Soul.
ODIN
STOP! THIS IS ENOUGH! You aint ever been shit, Bates, Let alone the heart and soul of any damn thing. Stay back Alex, I got this.
CUE THE THEME MUSIC
Odin charges the Tyrant and squares off with it, smashing it right in the face but it just eats the shot as Odin continues to light it up with rights and lefts. The Tyrant swats Odin away but Odin gets right back up and hits it with a roaring elbow.
ODIN
This is for Ana Valentine * WHAM* This is for Mexico * WHAM* This is for Bonnie Blue * Wham* This is for Cairo and Kaz * WHAM WHAM * AND this is for all your gay ass biker shit, you fucking buffoon. I AM The Heart and Soul of the WCF Tag Team Division! WE are the Heart and Soul of the Tag Team Division, not YOU!
Odin took out his rage on the Tyrant, from everything he and his friends have been through over the years. Chokeslam after chokeslam, Odin threw the Tyrant around like a play thing but still it got right back up. Odin, in his anger tackled the Tyrant off the roof and down to into the waiting wildfire below.
ALEX
Odin! No!
Alex rushes over to the edge and sees nothing but fire. ATLANTIS-1 swoops in from the distance and hovers over the roof, dropping a rope ladder.
ALEX
Odin! Odin! We gotta go!
TONY DANZA
Richards, lets go! Hurry or the smokes going to choke the engine.
ALEX
But Odin?
TONY DANZA
He’ll be OK. Lets go.
Alex reluctantly grabs the ladder and climbs up a few rungs as it lifts away. He finishes the climb and watches as the island burns
Alex sheds a tear for the dinosaur friend that he always wanted.
And the Tag Team partner he always needed...
CUT TO BLACK
FADE IN
to the West Poon Beach as Alex leads a service to the people of Poon Guinea. The sun and surf are to his back as he stands on a platform and reads from a script that he wrote. He clears his throat and addresses the crowd.
ALEX
Odin Balfore, ruler of Poonguinea, wrestling legend.. And my friend. He sacrificed himself for me, for us, our Tag Team, the Enforcers so that we could be the representing face of the WCF Tag Team Division. Armed with the knowledge of the greater good, fought bravely against the tyranny and injustice created over a decade ago by a madman. Odin Balfore may be many things to a lot of people but there was never any doubt that he always fought for what he believed in. The Other day, Odin Balfore believed in me as he believes in all of you. He saved my life for the opportunity to give back the glory that we know the WCF Tag Team division needed and in the face of adversity and in the face of Superkick Uncensored, know that I, Alex Richards, the Arch Duke of confusion and coming for you and I am going to open of Zim Quilla whoop ass on the both of you in honor of my new friend. In honor of our struggles and in honor of the division that we care so deeply for. People of Poonguinea and SKU, know that I will fight more fiercely than you could ever imagine and know that I will prevail. I will not go quietly into the night. I will not give up without a fight. I’m going to live on. I am going to survive. The WCF Tag Team Division will live on in the careers of the Enforcers and we will be known as the everlasting face of the division. Because my will is law.. And I will.. Enforce it..
The crowd cheers and applauds but soon that fades to gasps as Hubert the whale swims into view. The people throw themselves into the sea after realizing that Odin is on his back. They pull him off and carry him to the shore.
ALEX
Careful, he’s a hero. Careful, he’s my friend..
Alex smiles, knowing his friend is still alive and with it, the knowledge that they will soon be Tag Team League Champions..
