Post by The Very Big Śpainards on Dec 2, 2018 20:11:09 GMT -5
--1st December 2018--
--Residence of 'Zip Wingdinger'-
--11:30pm--
All things considered El Gran Grande was having a very productive day. He'd went grocery shopping had a fun gentle conversation regarding the size of the employees as he always did, was kicked out of the store for gently conversing which may have a put a bit of a downer on the day but El Gran Grande was an optimist! And when he was gonna have a good day, nothing could stop him.
So he spent his time having fun, talking to other social media-ers on the socialé media. Making jokes about Estrella Luiz and Edwina Lockheart. He even managed to figure out he was the only WCF Wrestler who was a capitalist which he reacted to in a very gentle and sane way.
And now he was in the house of WCF Referee Zip Wingdinger about to calmly discuss with him the rule that disallowed WCF Wrestlers to low blow their opponents.
El Gran Grande was low blowed often but he had a very sturdy penis and never really reacted. He was merely discussing this with Zip so that the WCF Fans could have a good show with no dirty finish. The WCF Galaxy was always El Gran Grande's number 1 priority.
Zip Wingdinger was currently strapped to a chair in the basement so El Gran Grande decided to pull out his phone and realised that the discord he'd been cordially invited to because he was the best was currently being used by some of his many, many friends.
Both of his many, many friends had reluctantly decided to join after he had the chat up for "cool Spanish communication".
He opened the discord and saw the chat currently going on.
11:33 Cxiolthi the glorious: These fingers are just saying that adding a cerealethic boost to your breathing diets you'll surely see a surge in victorious wrestling outings.
11:34 AinsleyIvanovic123: You can't breathe Cereal. It's got no oxygen.
11:34 Cxiolthi the glorious: Oxygen is a myth that this body disproved long ago that was maliciously covered up by the wizards of particles and other affiliated human tech cultists.
11:34 AinsleyIvanovic123: What?
11:35 Cxiolthi the glorious: If this brain recalls any knowledge of me consuming oxygen than this body shall tear open it's abdomen on the roof of your firstborn.
11:35 AinsleyIvanovic123: Don't do that. Please.
11:35 Cxiolthi the glorious: Every proton in this body will be dedicated into doing what was just stated if the circumstances are met.
El Gran Grande chuckled to himself at his friends jolly conversation. He'll enter the conversation politely and invite them over in a jolly way!
11:36 Xx_Spanish_Ghost_Killer_xX: coMe OVER TO ZOP WANGDANGER HOSE AINSLEY FUCK SHIT LIPPED FUCKWAD
11:36: AinsleyIvanovic123: Oh hey William. I'm gonna stay here cause I don't know what you're talking about.
11:36 AinsleyIvanovic123: Also I don't have any kids. I'm not a very sexually focused person. My work takes up a lot of my time. Plus I'm kind of a criminal so that's a bother, too.
11:36 Cxiolthi the glorious: I could fix that.
11:36 Xx_Spanish_Ghost_Killer_xX: YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM SPECIFYING WHAT YOU SHALL FIX AINSLEY COME OVER RIGHT NOW BEFORE I SHOOT MYSELF
11:37 AinsleyIvanovic123: Ok. Turn your location on Snapchat.
11:37 Xx_Spanish_Ghost_Killer_xX: OKFINEILLFUCKING FUCK SHIT LIPSDJDJDJFJFJFJ
El Gran Grande put his phone down but not before turning his location on. He smiled and jolly-ily waited for his partner, not bothered by the loaded firearm next to his arm or by the fact jolly-ily wasn't a word.
Him and his tag team partner were now cool as cucumbers. There was initially a bit of tension after their not getting arrested or breaking out of prison because that never happened.
El Gran Grande would never change any of his bad traits because he's a perfect spainard and El Aìnsley would neve change his bad traits because if he did nobody would notice.
It was the best friendship in the history of friendships probably.
The door knocked and El Gran Grande went to let whoever it was know the door was open.
El Gran Grande: OPEEEENNN!!
A quiet "what the fuck" was mumbled as the door opened revealing El Aìnsley, mask and all.
El Aìnsley: WHAT THE FUCK?!
It was at that moment El Gran Grande realised that maybe things weren't that jolly. Why else would his tag partner be screaming profanities?
He wracked his brain around the thought. Everything seemed jolly so how could it not be jolly. It's not El Gran Grande was at a loss with reality itself. Him and reality were best friends.
El Aìnsley: Why do you have a gun?! Is that loaded?!
Oh yeah he had a loaded gun. Sort of. Sure he was HOLDING one. But he didn't HAVE one. He wasn't thinking of using it at the moment. It was like holding a cigarette. Maybe the gun was very ugly or something? El Gran Grande decided to spit on the gun, teach it when to be ugly in front of his friends.
El Aìnsley: Why did you just-?... are you ok? How come you called me over.
El Gran Grande didn't call him over. El Gran Grande could hardly bloody remember seeing the guy until this moment. El Gran Grande was just chilling with his thoughts and once again his partner had waltzed in and disturbed him. Dickhead.
El Gran Grande: I didn't bloody..- d-do that! I was just relaxing man! Why are YOU here?!
El Aìnsley: You called me over, remember?
El Gran Grande supposes he must have then. Why did he-.. no he didn't. El Aìnsley was bullshitting him again, wasn't he? El Aìnsley was a football hooligan! And a Russian one at that! Those bastards live for chaos and- wait. Wait, no. El Aìnsley was a wrestler and... and- El Gran Grande was a wrestler too!! Yeah!
That's why he called him over! For wrestling promos!
El Gran Grande: PROMOS!!! PLEASE!
El Aìnsley: Promo? Cut a promo, ok I can do that. Would you like to go to the hospital and do that? Like we did last time?
El Gran Grande obviously didn't. Why would he go to a hospital where he'd be injected with gay aids. El Aìnsley was tricking him to INJECT HIM WITH AIDS, OF COURSE, OF COURSE!
Well El Gran Grande was too stealthy for that. He'd much rather video the promo in the... where... He was right now.
Yeah. There.
El Gran Grande: No! None of that. Can we go downstairs, basement, do it there? That's better for me at least, stupid fucking hospitals suck anyway.
El Aìnsley: That's.. uh... fine. But we should go to the hospital anyway! Afterwards, I mean.
El Gran Grande used the gun in his hand to scratch his nose as he wandered down to the basement, followed by what he assumed was his partner.
El Aìnsley: OK WHAT IN THE FUCK, WILLIAM?!
That was a surprise. El Aìnsley must've been in a loud mood. He'd screamed every time he went into a new room. That's get annoying soon, maybe he should talk about it. The basement wasn't even that scary. There was a couple boxes, bit of spiders webs, guy strapped to a chair in the corner, a really flickery light that kind of looked like his dad, and also some cockroaches.
El Aìnsley moved over to the man strapped to the chair.
El Aìnsley: WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!
Who was who? El Gran Grande noticed there was a guy strapped to a chair in the basement, that's odd. El Gran Grande never would strap a guy in his basement, it's unsanitary. The midget could breathe over all of his Very Big stuff!
Still El Gran Grande thought about the answer. Names, El Gran Grande, come on. They use to call you the soanish Sherlock Holmes in middle school, you got this! There was El Gran Grande, couldn't be him in the chair, he was him, and he wasn't in the chair he thinks.
There was El Aìnsley who-.. no, he was also right there, not in a chair.
What about that William guy? He heard him g- no that's him as well, he thought. El Aìnsley sure had a lot of secret identities.
Zip Wingdinger! Of course! It had to be him! He'd just been talking eith him when El Gran Grande broke into his house and knocked him out.
El Gran Grande: Zip Wingdinger.
El Aìnsley pulled off the bag over the strapped individual to reveal WCF Referee Zip Wingdinger.
El Aìnsley: THAT'S NOT ZIP WINGDINGER, MAN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Luckily Zip Wingdinger was out cold so he wasn't woken up by El Aìnsley's shouts. Wait no, that wasn't Zip Wingdinger at all, El Gran Grande thinks.
Why the hell was everything El Gran Grande thought incorrect? Everything was so jolly before! Can't he just go back to that? That was so jolly!
But now he was stuck here, I a endless cycle of realisation after realisation as the entire godamned world seemed like it was racing to see who could make him look the stupidest!
El Aìnsley continued to mumble in a panicked manner. El Aìnsley always told El Gran Grande about dang withdrawal symptoms. The idiot couldn't realise that El Gran Grande WASN'T in withdrawal because SPANISH PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT!
El Aìnsley: What don't Spanish people do?
DAMMIT MOUTH! El Gran Grande thought. Not everything the brain thinks needs to be said, dammit!
WHY THE HELL WAS THIS HAPPENING?!
FUCKING everything made no sense nowadays! His bloody memory was no help, apparently remembering more than a couple weeks was considered 'uncool', according to El Gran Grande's brain.
IT WAS UNCOOL! IF EL GRAN GRANDE DIDN'T DO IT IT WAS UNCOOL DAMN YOU!!
El Gran Grande scoffed and opened up his phone. He began to record himself.
El Gran Grande: Nothing, Ainsley! I was just-! My brain is like-! I don't exactly-!
El Aìnsley: Hospital, William. Now.
El Gran Grande: What?! So they can I next me with A HOMOSEXUAL PLAUGE?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND, AND YET YOU CONSTANTLY TRY TO GET ME TRAPPED IN THAT PRISON OF BEDS! WELL NO!
I AM FINE! PROMOOOOOOOOOOAOAAAAAAAAHHHH!
El Aìnsley quickly positioned himself in front of the unconscious 'Zip Wingdinger' with a very displeased scoff.
El Gran Grande recorded himself speaking.
El Gran Grande: YEAH PAYBACK COMING UP! I'M, HAHA, I'M A NEW WCF SPAINARD! SPAIN! ME!
And-! I know I've lost against both of VBS' opponents but fear not. A spainard is always changing. Always adapting himself to his surroundings, like a chameleons. So I now present to you my new move:
"Shooting Estrella Luiz in the head with a loaded handgun".
El Aìnsley: What?
El Gran Grande: THEY THINK THEY CAN KICK MY DICK?! INCORRECT! AS THE MOST SANE SPAINARD IN THE WORLD I AM fine with them hitting me in the dick obviously however I'M A TINY BIT PEEVED OFF. For the fans sake! They don't wanna see dirty finishes! I do everything for the fans! Everything!
Estrella Luiz, you are not the first clmmunist I've exposed in WCF! AND YOU WON'T BE THE LAST PROBABLY! You and your partner, Edwina, or as I like to call her, KRUSHCHEV!! Will probably think you have the upper hand. FALSE! YOU HAVE NEVER BEATEN ME EVER! FOR I HAVE THE POWER OF OMNISCIENCE AND RONALD REAGEN OB MY SIDE AND I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU TOO LIKE THE MIDGET BUGS YOU ARE.
And Mosntimal?! You may as well call me the illegitimate son of Bear Grylls and the guy from Monster Hunter BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF AND I WILL SHOOT YOU TO DEATH!!
I AM THE NIGHT! I AM AT THE CENTRE OF ALL THINGS! THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE I PERCEIVE IT AS SUCH AND WHEN I DECIDE IT'S TIME I WILL ERUPT THIS WORLD IN A FOUNTAIN OF RADIATION AND FIRE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!
The video ends when El Gran Grande headbutts a wall in rage. And everything goes dark and quiet.
El Gran Grande figures he must be uncoisnous or something like that. He can hear Ainsley mumbling about withdrawal symptoms or something like that so he must be little conscious, he figures. He feels himself being picked up and slowly let's out a quick "Justice for El Gran Grande" before falling asleep.
All in all, a jolly, perfectly sane, withdrawal sympton-less, not unreliably narrarated time as always, El Gran Grande figures.
