Post by 'Jazzy' John McCarty on Dec 2, 2018 0:53:44 GMT -5
Journalist: Thank you for your time.
Bartender: No problem!
The news journalist walks out as the Bartender polishes a glass. It was a slow night at the House of Blues. Right now, the House of Blues was empty with the exception of the Bartender and a guy who was sitting across the bar.
Guy: Who was that?
Bartender: Just a journalist.
Guy: I'm guessing it's about John?
Bartender: Yep. Do you want the usual, Bert?
Bert: Hell yes.
The Bartender begins to whip up a jug of beer. Bert was a jolly good fellow. He had brown scruffy hair and usually wore a green polo shirt and some old denim jeans, which was accompanied by a beer belly.
Bert: So what did you say?
Bartender: To who?
Bert: The journalist?
Bartender: Well... I just said that he'll come back soon.
Bert: Ah. I see. That is a very jazzy thing to do.
...
Bert: When?
Bartender: When what?
Bert: When do you think he'll be back?
Bartender: Let me think for a moment.
...
Bartender: I think John'll be back a week from now, tops.
Bert: I see, but you said the same thing last week.
Bartender: Well, just give him another week.
Bert: Hah.
Bartender: Was that meant to be a laugh?
Bert: Yeah. It's funny because that was the same reaction you had last week too.
The Bartender stops for a second. He thinks. He's been waiting for Jazzy to come back for a while now, and this really made him think, is he coming back? He should be back by now.
The Bartender instantly gives the glass he's polishing to Bert and then jumps over the bar and rushes outside.
Bartender: Bert, take care of the bar until I come back!
Bert: Uh... How?
Bartender: You'll work it out!
Bert would've asked more questions, but the Bartender was already gone.
----------
The Bartender arrives at Jazzy's apartment door.
--knock knock--
No answer.
Bartender: John? Are you in there?
The neighbour next door, Cranky Joe, opens his door.
Cranky Joe: Are you looking for John?
Bartender: Yes indeed
Cranky Joe: Haven't you seen the news? He's missing!
Bartender: Yeah, I know. I was just checking that he wasn't isolating himself in his apartment... Again.
Cranky Joe: <mumbles crankily>
As Cranky Joe shuts his door, walks off and trawls slowly
He pondered where Jazzy could be. He can't be in New Orleans, surely someone would've found him by now. So of he wasn't in New Orleans, where was he? He reached the bottom of the stairs and decided to sit on the path outside. Think! He needed to think!
He then had a thought of the night Jazzy came back after a long time.
John (flashback): Well, I was sick of WCF, so I ran. Somewhere in Arkansas.
Suddenly, a glimmer of hope appeared in the Bartender. He might actually find his faithful friend, John. Somewhere.
Somewhere in Arkansas.
----------
The Bartender left New Orleans at about 2pm, and 5 hours later, he still hadn't found his way out of Louisiana. He was at Shreveport, where he decided to stop at a Wendy's to get something to eat. He decided to go through the drive-thru, to save time.
Drive-thru: Welcome to Wendy's how may I help you?
Bartender: Can I just have a Baconator Combo please?
After the Bartender had ordered, he went to the window to pick up his order, the worker immediately realized who he was.
Worker: Hey! You're the Bartender!
Bartender: Yes indeed.
Worker: What are you doing here?
Bartender: ...getting food. Why else would I be here?
Worker: Oh my god, did you see the post from Rumours Inc.?
Bartender: No... What was it about?
Worker: They said that Jazzy John might be in Arkansas!
Bartender: Yeah, I already knew that. In fact, I'm on my way now.
Worker: Do you have anywhere to stay?
Bartender: Actually... No. I was just planning to do an all-nighter.
Worker: Bad idea. You could crash! My advice, stay at a hotel here at Shreveport, or you could book a hotel at De Queen, you'll easily be there by 9:30.
Bartender: Okay. Thank you for the advice, I'll keep it in mind.
Worker: Here is your Baconator, sir.
Bartender: Thank you, what's your name again?
Worker: Juliet.
Bartender: Thank you Juliet.
Juliet: No problem sir. Just doing my job.
And with that, the Bartender drives off and pulls out his iPhone.
Bartender: Hey, Siri. What hotel can I stay at in De Queen?
----------
The Bartender was delighted by the hospitality he received at the hotel in De Queen, but he couldn't stay for long. He needed to find John.
It was this moment when this thought struck him. How is he going to find him? There is so much space in Arkansas, and he would have to explore every single town for one man. He was already in Arkansas, so he could've already driven past him. Exploring every single space in Arkansas? That would be way too much effort.
He needed to be smart. What else did John say the night he returned? He needed any sort of clue. That's when it struck him.
John (flashback): There was a little town a few miles away.
There was a little town... This was a crazy idea, but he had a plan. He got out his phone.
Bartender: Hey Siri, what are the 10 smallest towns in Arkansas?
After Siri gave him all 10 towns, the Bartender did some planning. Which small town was closest to De Queen? Where would he go afterwards? Why was he asking so many questions? He was hungry. He needed breakfast.
The Bartender ordered some bagels for breakfast at the local cafe, which were actually pretty cheap. He sat down in a nearby booth. He was enjoying time by himself, until he overheard two ladies having a conversation nearby.
Lady 1: Have you heard about that missing Jazzy guy?
The Bartender remained still, but he was paying the highest of attention.
Lady 2: Yeah, everybody has!
Lady 1: A month ago, I saw a guy who looked exactly like him, walking. Just walking. He walked into town, he walked outta town. Do you think that would be him?
Lady 2: Oh my god, I think--
The Bartender instantly got up from his booth.
Bartender: Where'd you see him go?
Lady 1: Uh... Outta town?
Bartender: Which way is that?
She pointed north.
Waitress: A bagel for 'the Bartender'?
Bartender: Thank you.
The Bartender picked up his bagel, thanked the waitress and immediately got in his car to head north.
Lady 1: What a creep.
Lady 2: Mmhmm.
----------
The Bartender left De Queen at roughly 9:00am, and he started heading towards a town called Morrow. It's one of the 10 tiny towns of Arkansas, which is north of De Queen. If John is not in Morrow, then he is in Avoca, a town just as tiny and even further north. He had it all worked out. Next stop - Mo--
His phone rang. The Bartender almost instantly answered it.
Bartender: Hello?
Bert (over phone): Hey, I got a little problem.
Bartender: What?
Bert (over phone): There's a couple drunk guys having a fight and I don't know what to do.
Bartender: Wow! It's only the morning... Work it out! Bump up the prices or something.
Bert (over phone): Eh, I'll work it out.
Bartender: Cool.
He hangs up.
---
Back at the House of Blues...
Bert: Okay, you two! Sit in the Corner of Shame!
Drunks: What?
Bert pointed to two different corners.
Bert: Each sit in a corner.
The drunks reluctantly dragged themselves to the corners of shame, knowing that they would get kicked out if they didn't.
Bert: And just for that, every drink is going up a dollar.
Bar: Boooooooooooo!
---
Back in Arkansas...
The Bartender was on the road, and it was 3 and a half hours until he reached Morrow. It was 12:30, so he would've liked something to eat. He pulled up by the Morrow Country Store.
When he walked in, the shopkeeper welcomed him. It was a convenience store, so he bought a couple bags of chips to eat.
Shopkeeper: That will be 5 bucks.
The Bartender hands him a 5 dollar note.
Bartender: I'm just curious, you seen a guy called 'John McCarty' around here?
Shopkeeper: Nope. If I did, I woulda called someone a long time ago. I would be all over the news! Sorry about that.
Bartender: I see. That's okay.
Shopkeeper: Funny thing, there's this guy Dan who lives out of town... He got a nice beard...
Bartender: Okay. Well, see ya.
Shopkeeper: See ya.
After searching through Morrow, he figured that John wasn't there, so the Bartender left to continue his search.
Next stop - Avoca.
----------
The Bartender had spent a lot of time driving recently, and luckily, this was only a one-hour drive. He arrived at Avoca, knowing that Jazzy would be here. He pulled up at a local store and asked the shopkeeper where John was.
Avoca Shopkeeper: I can't help you there, buddy.
Bartender: Surely John's here...
Avoca Shopkeeper: Look, I know all 500 people here. None of them are, or even look like John. So sorry, you ain't gonna find him here. Sorry.
Bartender: I'm sorry for bothering you. Thanks anyway.
The Bartender slowly walked to his car, and put his head on the wheel. There was no way he could find Jazzy now.
--ring ring--
The Bartender picked up his phone.
Bert (over phone): Um... Something's happened.
Bartender: Not now, Bert.
The Bartender hung up. He started his long drive back to New Orleans.
John (flashback): There was a little town a few miles away...
Shopkeeper (flashback): Dan, who lives out of town... He got a nice beard...
Bartender (flashback): And the beard! You grew a beard!
Bartender: Holy shit.
----------
The Bartender had found himself back in the Morrow Country Store in half an hour (yeah, he was speeding).
Bartender: Where did you say Dan was?
Shopkeeper: Few miles east of here.
Bartender: Thank you so much!
The Bartender quickly found himself outside a cabin a few miles east of Morrow. He walked up a tiny hill, before knocking on the door.
John (to himself): Hmm, I don't normally get visitors.
John opens the door, sees the Bartender, and closes it shut immediately.
Bartender: That's mean, John. That was mean.
John: I'm not going back to New Orleans. I'm not going back to WCF. I'm just let everyone assume I'm dead and I'm gonna live the rest of my life as Dan Mosby. That was the plan, until you came along.
Bartender: Why did you leave again John? Why are you never coming back?
John: I'm sick of it! Matches I should be winning, I'm losing, and I'm always hanging around the bottom of the card. I should be in the main event, everyone chanting my name! But I'm just not good enough...
Bartender: Why don't you think that you're good enough?
John: I don't know... I've got the same skill, sane technique. It's just that somehow, they always seem to have the upper hand. So, I'm leaving.
Bartender: So become better! Train more!
John: I am! I run up that hill over there at least 3 times a day, I jog to Morrow at least once a day and I'm almost always exercising.
Bartender: Work hard, John. And you'll get there. You'll start winning. One day, you'll get to that main event. But you just need to try harder.
John sat there in silence. No answer.
Bartender: And I'll give you free drinks at the bar.
John immediately opens the door.
John: I'm coming back to WCF!
----------
Reporter: We now cut live to the press conference, where Jazzy John will speak after being missing for a month.
---
Bartender: Before we start, may I ask that you please state your name before asking questions. The Q and A session starts now!
Almost immediately, a reporter in red stands up.
Friedburg: Scarlet Friedburg, Channel 4 News, Rumours Inc. posted only days ago that you were in Arkansas. Is this true?
John: Yes. A few miles away from Morrow. Next?
Kowalczyk: Connor Kowalczyk, Sports News, I'm sure you're aware Payback is this Monday. Were you aware you are already booked even though you just returned?
John: No, actually. Who am I up against?
Kowalczyk: Teo Blaze, holder of the Black, Lerch and Gravedigger stones, also current TV champion.
John: Woo-hoo! That's marvellous. I'm just glad I'm not hanging around the bottom of the card! But other than that, Teo Blaze is a great man. I do not mind losing to him. Of course, I would be delighted to take the stones or perhaps the championship off his hands. If you aren't aware, I'm certainly aiming for the World Championship, and if I beat Teo this Monday, it would definitely be a stepping stone towards my goal.
Jones: Jeremy Jones, wrestlenews.com, apart from it being a stepping stone in your career, what else would this win mean to you?
John: Well, I get another win. Also, I become the holder of the TV title, which I know it's something not all wrestlers get to say. And the stones. They don't mean much unless you get all 6, but getting this win means o get 3 of them. That means I'm already halfway there, with just one single win. So this match means a lot to me.
The crowd murmurs.
Bartender: That is all the questions we have time for. Thank you for your time.
Jazzy John gets up and leaves, followed by the Bartender.
Bartender: Ah, press conference is done! Let's go to the House of Blues!
John: You owe me a drink.
They drove across the beautiful New Orleans, and finally arrived at the House of Blues only to find out one thing.
The House of Blues had burnt down.
