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Post by marcmayhem on Nov 18, 2018 22:03:37 GMT -5
Hey guys. posted my First RP in like 3 years would love some feedback if you have free time. Was rushed and I am rusty but please honest feedback would be great thank you.
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Post by Vincent Augustine on Nov 19, 2018 2:29:28 GMT -5
Felt this was a pretty solid RP for a guy just returning after 3 years. There was definitely some rust, the dialogue back and forth didn't quite flow for me, but I could see in some spots where it did that you have the ability to make it flow nicely. Your shoot was pretty solid, the humor leading in was good. Some of the flow in your shoot was lacking, it felt to me like you were always on the edge of really going off but never seemed to get there, but maybe that was just the feeling I had. I did like the shoot though and would say it was a solid 7/10. Your CD was pretty strong too, the interview is a tried and true method for CD, and it can be hard when you are really trying to reestablish a character to do something too crazy. Sometimes the easy way is best to get it going. all in all I'd give the RP a solid 7.3/10.
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Post by marcmayhem on Nov 19, 2018 6:24:58 GMT -5
Felt this was a pretty solid RP for a guy just returning after 3 years. There was definitely some rust, the dialogue back and forth didn't quite flow for me, but I could see in some spots where it did that you have the ability to make it flow nicely. Your shoot was pretty solid, the humor leading in was good. Some of the flow in your shoot was lacking, it felt to me like you were always on the edge of really going off but never seemed to get there, but maybe that was just the feeling I had. I did like the shoot though and would say it was a solid 7/10. Your CD was pretty strong too, the interview is a tried and true method for CD, and it can be hard when you are really trying to reestablish a character to do something too crazy. Sometimes the easy way is best to get it going. all in all I'd give the RP a solid 7.3/10. Thank you Vincent. I completely agree the flow was off. It felt choppy when I wrote it. I think it needed some more transition from thought to thought, shoot and the story. I had a few ideas and directions I wanted to go with this that didnt make the cut most likely due to time. Maybe I'll start doing an outline before instead of just winging it off the top of my head. That might clean up my flow too.. Thank you though I really appreciate the honest feedback
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