Slam September 17th, 2018 (Full Show Inside) Sept 18, 2018 22:58:07 GMT -5
Post by WCF Results Account on Sept 18, 2018 22:58:07 GMT -5
Live From The Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
"Drunk and Crazy" by Mogwai hits the arena speakers as Slam is live. The WCF Galaxy is going wild as usual, flashing their signs and their tits to the camera as it pans around the crowd. The camera finally settles on the announce table.
Zach Davis: Welcome to Slam! We're live from Vancouver!
Freddy Whoa: Whoa!
Zach Davis: We've got a jam packed show for you tonight as we're set for the final show before WAR, so expect shit to go crazy fast like every other year.
Freddy Whoa: Since when can we say 'shit' on Slam?
Zach Davis: Meh, who even pays attention to what we say, Freddy Whoa.
Freddy Whoa: Well all right...hey, let’s go backstage where I understand Hank Brown is outside the locker room of the Hardcore Champion ahead of his huge pre-War unfriendly with Teo del Sol later tonight!
The definitely black Hank Brown knocks on the door with the classic “shave and haircut” cadence of any middle aged white dad but before he gets to wrap the final “two bits” the door flies open. Stephen Singh stands sour-faced before him, Hardcore Title strapped around his waist, tights on, wrestling boots laced, and chain-smoking mother Donna relaxing in her power scooter behind him.
Brown: Mr. Singh, how have you prepared for your match with Teo del Sol later this evening?
Singh: I’ve spent countless hours, meticulously combing through all the available tape on all fifteen of his professional personas. I’ve concocted detailed game plans for each and every iteration of Teo, Teddy, or Theodore Sunshine himself.
Brown: Theodore Sunshine?
Singh: Yes, Brown. That’s his actual, given name.
Brown: Is it?
The Superstar lets out a guttural moan full of frustration.
Singh: Uuuuugggggh. I don’t know. I don’t care. Brown, I can’t stand here and pretend I give two squirts of monkey’s piss about Teo del Soulless after I’ve slapped the taste out of his mouth and the hope out of his heart more times than I can count. I tried to do it for like...ten seconds but that was all I could muster. Teo is the epitome of a midcard mook. He’s a go-nowhere, do-nothing he’s getting all the attention from me he deserves this week: which is none.
Brown: So you’re not worried about staying sharp in advance of War?
Singh: Now THAT, Browneye, THAT is a query of note. The Golden God is staying diamond-sharp for War. Judging by the rumblings in back, there are those who share your concern for my readiness. There are those walking or rolling among us who have forgotten who the favorite is to win War. There are rumblings about The Church’s apparent recent defections. There are rumblings about rising stars and new opportunities…
These are rumblings that I will grind out beneath my conquering heel. I need no one at my side to bludgeon the locker room into submission. I need no followers to flay the failures making their ballyhooed, clandestine returns. A thief works best without an accomplice. I have two hands and over two dozen necks to snap. I will quiet these rumblings with a deafening reminder that we are in the middle #ThievinSeason.
To begin this quieting of detractors, I’ll remind everyone on the card tonight that this is the Thief’s WCF. That War is the Thief’s pay per view. And that everyone of your careers....is mine to do with as I please.
See you soon, fuckchops.
The camera cuts back to the announce table.
Zach Davis: Well all right then! Let's get to the action!