My Story Won't End In Minneapolis
Jul 12, 2018 21:55:42 GMT -5
Alex Richards and John Rabid like this
Post by Jayson Price on Jul 12, 2018 21:55:42 GMT -5
Sunday June 24th, 2018
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11pm
The scene fades in on the inside of the living room of the condominium that rests atop the 43 story Price Tower in downtown Philadelphia. Jayson Price sits on his couch, relaxing with his feet up on the coffee table in front of him and a glass of whiskey in his hand, a smile on his face as he looks out one of the glass windows at the thunderstorm raging on.
Voice: "You seem happier than usual."
Price doesn't turn his head but the camera catches as Cameraman Stu enters the room. For the newest WCF fans who don't know Stu, well you really shouldn't feel left out because nobody really knows anything about Stu outside of the fact that he was a former WCF cameraman and he's become Price's personal errand boy. Oh and he definitely teamed up with Hank Brown and Cameraman Bob to have him killed in Mexico, but for some reason it seems as though everyone has forgotten about that, including Price. Probably because of the alcoholism. But back to the scene, Stu crosses the room and takes a seat in a chair, waiting for Price to acknowledge his presence. He finally clears his throat.
Cameraman Stu: "Why the smile? You just get done sending a hooker home?"
Jayson Price: "Must you always make small talk? Can't you see I'm just sitting here, enjoying the peace and quiet, watching the lightning as it goes across the sky?"
Cameraman Stu: "Powers out, isn't it?"
Price takes a sip from his drink and then turns his attention to the fire.
Jayson Price: "Yeah. Been like an hour already."
Cameraman Stu: "Big ass building like this, full of all the expensive toys and gadgets that you have, and you never thought about investing in some backup generators?"
Jayson Price: "In my defense, I drink a lot."
Cameraman Stu: "Never noticed. So what are we going to do, just sit here and talk?"
Jayson Price: "Does this have to be a 'we' kind of night? I mean, I don't even remember inviting you over."
Cameraman Stu: "You didn't, but honestly do you ever?"
Jayson Price: "No, yet here you are in my house. Kind of like a cockroach, only noisier."
Cameraman Stu: "Yeah, but can a cockroach bring you drinks and take your insults without complaining?"
Jayson Price: "You've yet to bring me a drink and you haven't stopped complaining, so what else you got?"
Cameraman Stu: "I dunno, friendship?"
Price turns to Stu, the look on his face all the response he needs.
Cameraman Stu: "Yeah, I didn't buy that one either. Fine, I'll leave you to your drinking in the dark."
Jayson Price: "Oh shut up and keep your ass in that chair and be grateful that the power is out or I would have thrown you out the door myself."
Stu contemplates leaving but decides he's actually got nothing better to do than sit and be insulted. Stu lives a very sad life.
Jayson Price: "Atta boy. Now, for making the smart choice and staying, I've got a present for you."
Price reaches down beside the couch and pulls out a DVD case.
Cameraman Stu: "The fuck is that? A DVD? People still have DVDs?"
Jayson Price: "Yes, people still have DVDs, you fucking moron. And besides, this is a very special viewing I'm letting you in on."
Cameraman Stu: "You mean like that last 'special viewing' you let me in on? Because I still haven't gotten the image of that midget-"
Jayson Price: "This isn't that kind of-"
Cameraman Stu: "I still don't understand how she got that balloon up-"
Jayson Price: "STU! NOT THAT KIND OF MOVIE!"
Cameraman Stu: "Thank god. But uh, at the expense of getting cursed out and then thrown out, the powers still out."
Jayson Price: "...fuck. Well what in the fuck am I supposed to do now?! I had this whole thing I did where I dressed up like Chris Hanson and I was doing a very special episode of To Catch A Predator and I had this guy dressed up like Logan and I was just ripping into him for all the shit he's done to fuck up people's minds and...GOD DAMN IT!"
Cameraman Stu: "Well fuck, that sounds like a brilliant piece of work!"
Jayson Price: "And the production value was fucking tits. But now I can't even show it to you!"
Cameraman Stu: "Well I mean you could still tell me all the 'Logan ripping' stuff and then when the power comes back on we can watch it."
Jayson Price: "Ah hell, it's not like we have anything better to do. All right, sit back there in that chair and prepare to have feel a touch of sympathy for Logan."
Cameraman Stu: "Is that possible?"
Jayson Price: "When you hear what I have to get off my chest you just might."
Price reaches down and pours himself a fresh glass of whiskey. He sits back, takes a sip and then looks dead ahead into the fire.
Jayson Price: "Logan I really don't understand what you think you're going to get out of coming back and running your mouth about me. Maybe this is all just about you needing another shot at the spotlight because you've grown tired of being forgotten by the new guys and the fans. Sure you probably still have the support of the die hard marks that have been saving their team of treachery shirts for the last decade, but do you really still believe that there are that many fans out there who remember your name, let alone want to see you wrestle again?
Do you think that they will remember the accomplishments that you had and the titles you won? Or the moments you were apart of and the feuds that you had? Because I think that the few people who will remember your name today are the people who only remember it for being associated with some of the darkest and most trash moments in the history of this company.
Logan: The man that humped a photograph of a man's wife for shock value because he never had enough brain cells to come up with better ideas.
Logan: The man who dressed up as a better looking but less talented Sarah Twilight. That wasn't even that much of a controversial moment but I couldn't resist reminding the world about the time Logan was going through an identity crisis and decided to become a crossdresser. Shit was fucking hilarious and reminded us all that you had
Logan: The man who for years made a career out of having a hotdog fetish. And while many people may think that I'm joking or exaggerating about this, this man truly would get hard-ons while looking at an 8 pack of hotdogs and fantasizing about inserting them one by one.
Logan: The man who made a career out of pelvic thrusting and lame ass catch phrases, essentially making him no better than Duff Man from The Simpsons. Do you think that people still use your catch phrases because it's the cool thing to do? It's not, they chant along with that bullshit because marking out for shit that goes against the norm is what these fans today do. And that pelvic thrusting bullshit? You think anybody wants to see your old fat ass out there moving your hips anymore? Ain't nobody seen your ass in years so I can only assume that with that hot dog fetish of yours you went right back to being Fat Logan. Oh that's right, I remember fat Logan. That despicable, nasty, covered in bodily fluids and dried up condiments version of you that used to waddle down to the ring and act like the fans were laughing with you and not at you. Please let that be the Logan that's coming back at XIII to face me so we can all get one last set of laughs in before I send you back to whatever sad-ass existence you were living.
But what really confuses me about this comeback match of yours is that I can't understand why you would be coming back now. I mean did you not get the notice? Your old safety-net AKA Seth Lerch is gone. Come on man it was no secret that the reason you got as many chances and opportunities you did was because of your relationship with the boss. You mean to tell me that we are all supposed to believe that a guy with a hot dog fetish and piss poor catchphrases was really good enough to get all those World Title matches. I'll give you all of those War victories, after all I'm actually that is perfect for a conniving sneaky little opportunist like you. And maybe you did have the talent to win some matches, but it must have been really easy for you to always fall back on the owner and rely on him to carry you to the top every time you stumbled and fell. But now you're coming back to a WCF where Seth Lerch is a name barely known let alone spoke by the roster because none of these new guys know who the fuck he is. Maybe you think Corey Black is going to do you a favor, show the fellow old-timer some love and help you screw me over since you both seem to have a hard on for seeing me fail, but I really find it hard to believe that you could ever succeed in this day and age without old Seth there ready to give you everything you wanted in exchange for a blowjob.
But for all of these things that I don't understand or am confused by, there's one thing that I am absolutely sure of. And that is that you are coming into XIII overconfident and sure of yourself, believing that this is going to be an easy match and that you are going to walk out with your head held high and the crowd chanting for you one more time. But it's not going to be like that. You aren't facing the Jay Price that beat you in 2009 at One. You aren't facing the Jayson Price that you once beat at XIII. You aren't facing any version of me that you've witnessed before because for the first time I'm walking into a match with absolutely everything to lose and that makes me the most dangerous man that's going to be at XIII. Do you really think that you can beat a man that's fighting for his career, that's facing a forced retirement because ownership thinks he doesn't have it anymore?
I know you can't relate because you've never had to face adversity in your entire wrestling career, not with an owner in your back pocket, but right now you are the only thing standing between me and my job and that means that you will not survive this match. If you think I'm coming into this like it's just another match, you are in for a rude awakening when that first punch brings you up out of your boots and lays your ass on the mat. This isn't a fucking joke for me Logan, any other time I would be coming into this looking just to beat you into the mat, but this Friday I'm looking to flat-out murder you just to make sure that I prove a point that I have lost absolutely nothing and am still the wrestler that I have always been.
Corey Black thinks that I am a joke. You think that I am a joke. A hell of a lot of people think that I am a joke. But you are all about to see that even though I have stumbled lately, you should never take me lightly because that is when I shock the fuck out of the world. I've said it a million times, there is a reason why I've won all of those matches and all of those titles. Aand it's not because I had an owner watching out for me and ensuring that I looked good, if anything it was always well documented that Seth and I had our issues. It's because I am one of the greatest wrestlers to ever lace up a pair of boots and step inside of a WCF ring. People like to put your face on the WCF Mount Rushmore like this company couldn't survive without you and owes you something but what does it say when you realize that I've done almost as much as you and I did it in a lot less time. Give me another 5 years and then maybe you can compare you and I Logan. Or fuck, maybe just give me 1 year with an owner kissing my ass and pushing me to the moon and then try to compare the two of us.
But at the end of the day there is no comparison. And I'm not talking about the wins or the titles or the accomplishments or the moments, nah. I'm talking about the fact that there is no comparing you to me because despite all of my flaws and all of my setbacks, I'm someone that people actually still want to see. I'm someone people actually still care about. You? You're a fucking garbage human being in wrestling boots still trying to get by with pelvic thrusts and "BOUDLE" because you've got nothing new to offer, just like you haven't for years, which is why you disappeared with no trace and no one asking "Where's Logan?".
And that is all I really need to say Logan. I could take back all of the insults and jokes and leave you just with the simple fact that whether you came back at XIII or not, you're still a relic of the past that nobody bothered or cared to remember because you aren't worth remembering. You are a stain on the history of WCF, one of it's most spectacular failures that everyone wishes never existed. And I can't undo everything that you did but I can sure as hell undo you in the ring and that's just what I'm planning on doing. So to paraphrase you, allow me to end this with simply...
SHUT UP BOUDLE!"
Price pauses to take another sip of his drink as he continues to stare into the fire. Nearby Stu sits silent, but his mouth is openly slightly in shock.
Jayson Price: "Fuck, I think vomited a little just saying that last sentence."
Cameraman Stu: "..."
Jayson Price: "Stu? You alive over there."
Cameraman Stu: "For fucks sake Price, did you really have to be that mean?"
Jayson Price: "I wasn't 'mean' enough, Stu. But I really didn't feel like getting arrested for rape."
At that moment the power pops back on.
Jayson Price: "Oh god damn it! Of course it comes back on now!"
Cameraman Stu: "I mean...I really don't think I can sit through that DVD now. I'm emotionally scarred and you weren't even addressing me!"
Jayson Price: "But, but, if you don't watch it, then it's like I did it for nothing!"
Cameraman Stu: "I can't do it god damn it!"
The scene fades out to black as Price and Stu continue to argue.
Wednesday July 11th, 2018
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
6PM
The scene fades back in as Jayson Price is relaxing in his living room, watching some television while enjoying a bowl of Cookie Crisp. Suddenly a very panicked Cameraman Stu runs into the room.
Cameraman Stu: "THERE YOU ARE! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! WHY HAVEN'T YOU RETURNED MY CALLS!?"
Jayson Price: "Whoa! Settle the fuck down. I've been on the road, you know, wrestling. And I had to get a new phone, someone leaked my old number and I was getting mad nudes from some really fat bitches."
Price shudders.
Cameraman Stu: "Have you seen what the fuck is going on?!"
Jayson Price: "With?"
Cameraman Stu: "XIII!"
Jayson Price: "What's going on? Did they move the venue or change what night I'm on or something?"
Cameraman Stu: "Oh my god...you don't know."
Stu rushes over and takes a seat next to Price.
Cameraman Stu: "Just watch this."
Stu taps on his phone and both he and Price lean it to watch.
Jayson Price: "...Lerch?!"
Cameraman Stu: "They played you."
Jayson Price: "BUT I'VE DONE ALL THIS TRAINING LIKE IT WAS LOGAN!"
Cameraman Stu: "Played. You."
Jayson Price: "Leave."
Cameraman Stu: "What?! But I didn't do anyt-"
Jayson Price: "LEAVE!"
Price cocks back and launches his bowl of cereal at Stu as he scurries away. A now very unrelaxed Price stares ahead as the scene fades out.
Wednesday July 11th, 2018
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11pm
The scene reopens and we're once again back inside of the living room atop Price Tower, but this time Price is all alone, nobody else in sight. The television is off, there's no noise except for the crackling coming from the fireplace, it the only light in the entire home. Price is sitting hunched over on the couch, elbows on his knees and his fists resting under his chin, as he stares ahead at a nearly empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. Finally, after what seems like ages, he speaks.
Jayson Price: "You really didn't want to do this Seth, you really didn't. In one of your drunken stupors you might have thought 'I really want to do this', but no Seth, you really didn't want to do this. You might be going through some sort of mental breakdown where you truly believe that you are Logan, but some neuron in that pea sized brain of yours must be screaming 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' to the rest of you. Because that tiny little neuron, in that tiny little brain, knows that the rest of your brain that is fueling this breakdown is taking you to a place that you don't want be. Because this sudden bravado that you're showing off to the world, looking into a camera and speaking to me like you finally have a set of balls, I know that's not you Seth. These kids in WCF today that weren't around to know you name, they'll hear you talk and think 'Wow, who is this guy?', not realizing that you were once the man that ran WCF because you've been forgotten just that quickly. But when I hear you talk like you just did to me, with that little bit of bass in your voice like you've never had before, all I can do is remember the shit you've pulled that's effected me. And that, Seth, is a problem for you.
Again, I don't know if this whole Logan schtick is a ruse or if you're really going through some mental shit, but I don't really care because you've decided to come at me for some reason and I'm not the type to just sit back and let somebody speak on my name like you did. So you want to puff out your chest, raise your voice and talk about everything that you...or you Logan....fuck I don't even know how to address this in a way you'll understand because I don't know know who you think you are. You know what, I'ma address you both because I've got way too much shit to say to you both, so whoever is in control of that brain right now, please pay attention."
Price pauses to finish off the last swallows of whiskey before he throws the empty bottle into the fireplace. We can hear it shatter before Price resumes.
Jayson Price: "Lerch, you are without a doubt the most pussy ass mother fucker that I've ever had the displeasure of sharing a room or ring with. Even with this identity crisis bullshit you still sit in the shadows running your mouth, talking a big game and trying to downplay the importance that I've had in WCF. You like to praise the accomplishments of guys like Torture and Creeping Death, reminisce on the early 'glory' days of Hellz Angel and Mace, and finish it all off with a verbal handjob for your golden boy, the man you're trying to be right now, Logan. But never once do you recognize what the fuck I've done for the company that you founded. You play me off as a one trick pony that's had his 15 minutes and already rode off into the sunset. The fact is I've been here in WCF for 9 years, putting in the work in more matches than Hellz Angel, Mace or Torture. I've won more matches that everyone except for Logan and Creeping Death and there isn't one single person in the entire history of your company that's won more titles than me. Yet you still choose to disrespect my name and talk about me as though I'll always be nothing more than a footnote in the WCF history book. And you know what, that's my fault. You still choose to be ignorant and disrespectful because you don't think that I'm going to do anything about it except sit back and take it because you're the boss. Oh wait, I'm sorry, were the boss. See you've had this free reign all these years to shoot from the hip and say whatever it is that you wanted to say because you could hide behind a desk, surrounded by lawyers, issuing out threats of suspensions and fines when it seemed like somebody was going to do something about that mouth of yours. But you aren't behind a desk anymore Seth, right now you're talking shit from what appears to be your mother's basement, cosplaying as Logan while leaving the world wondering if you're crazy or a genius or a little bit of both. And honestly, I don't care if it's A, B or C, Seth, all I care about is that right now you're running your mouth about me and you no longer have that desk, those lawyers or those threats to stop me from delivering a beating that will make even your sister feel sympathy for you again. And believe me, if I knew just where it is that you're at right now I'd come after you and show you why you need to rethink who you decide to call out, but I don't so instead I'll just let you sit back and relax until XIII.
But that's two whole days away and I need something to do to pass the time, so what's say we revisit our long, twisted history since WCF has gone through yet another renaissance since you decided to leave, leaving many of today's talent unaware of who you even are and having to resort to Google just to learn that it was you who founded WCF. But these new guys don't need Google to find out what kind of man you are Seth, I'm more than happy to share your exploits with them.
Lets talk about your track record as the Owner of WCF, a job so easy anyone can do it. And in fact almost anyone CAN do it as proven by the fact that you've lost control of this company enough times that it's become a fucking trope. Forgetting the dozen or so times you let Gravedigger seize control, can you even name every person that you let complete a hostile takeover? It doesn't even matter if it was by gambling the farm on a match or the fact that you refuse to read anything before signing it, you always managed to be a monumental fuck-up who couldn't keep control of a nearly billion dollar company for more than a year at a time. And it's not even like it's a hard fucking job, you've always had a roster full of talent that brought in all the cash while all you had to do was cut the checks and occassionally make some announcement to the fans, but through ineptitude and arrogance, time after time, you proved to be the Gomer Pyle of wrestling owners. But I guess we can all blame it on the alcohol, right Seth? Take it from an alcoholic, a very well documented alcoholic at that, you need to lay off the fucking bottle and get your life together because you are a mess and more than likely it's the cause of this Logan cosplay.
Or maybe not. I mean, you've always had such a serious hard-on for Logan, I guess dressing up and trying to pretend that you are him was always going to be something we should have been prepared for. Sure, you two had your little spells where you came off like you hated each other, but it was never any secret that you liked him. Hell, I'd go as far as saying that you idolized the man, which when you think about it makes sense of all this shit you're doing now, especially when you combine it with the boozing. But it really makes sense that you two would be such good friends or that you would idolize as if he were a God, seeing as how the both of you are two of the worst mother fuckers to walk this Earth. Don't get me wrong, I know about not throwing rocks in a glass house and whatnot, and I know that I'm in no position to be judging the actions of people. But you, Seth, you and Logan are not people. You two are vile, nasty little pieces of shit that don't get afforded the same treatment as others. I could say a million things about you, Seth, I could put every little detail of your sordid, evil history of blast, things the newcomers would never find on Google, but I only need to remind the world about one thing...Uncle Seth.
For all the things that make Logan the horrible person that he is, at least I can give him credit for the fact that he isn't a baby killer. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't actually kill a baby, you don't have the stones in you to do such a thing, nah, you had to hire someone to do it for you. Your own sister's baby, a little child that would have grown up to call you Uncle Seth, and you hired somebody to force a miscarriage just because it was my seed. It drove you insane to know that I was dating your sister. It drove you to mad to know that I was fucking her every chance I got. It drove you crazy to know that we were actually thinking of having a future together. But when you found out that there was a little baby on the way, one that was half Price and half Lerch, that took a wrestling feud and made it into what it is now. The last time you and I faced off, I took it easy. You weren't a threat, you weren't anything really, you were just you and I let you walk out of the ring because I had nothing to gain by destroying you. But now, with you wanting to talk to me like a man and ask if I remember all of these things...Yeah, I remember them all Seth. I remember everything. So now I want you to remember that I didn't come asking for this fight. I didn't tell Corey Black "GIVE ME SETH LERCH!". I was all ready to face Logan. I didn't want Logan, I made that clear, but I was ready for Logan. But for whatever reason this is what I'm getting and it seems like it's because you wanted it, so remember that when you're trying to figure out why I'm beating you down not like a fellow wrestler, but like you deserve."
The scene cuts with no warning, leaving things on that final sentence.
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11pm
The scene fades in on the inside of the living room of the condominium that rests atop the 43 story Price Tower in downtown Philadelphia. Jayson Price sits on his couch, relaxing with his feet up on the coffee table in front of him and a glass of whiskey in his hand, a smile on his face as he looks out one of the glass windows at the thunderstorm raging on.
Voice: "You seem happier than usual."
Price doesn't turn his head but the camera catches as Cameraman Stu enters the room. For the newest WCF fans who don't know Stu, well you really shouldn't feel left out because nobody really knows anything about Stu outside of the fact that he was a former WCF cameraman and he's become Price's personal errand boy. Oh and he definitely teamed up with Hank Brown and Cameraman Bob to have him killed in Mexico, but for some reason it seems as though everyone has forgotten about that, including Price. Probably because of the alcoholism. But back to the scene, Stu crosses the room and takes a seat in a chair, waiting for Price to acknowledge his presence. He finally clears his throat.
Cameraman Stu: "Why the smile? You just get done sending a hooker home?"
Jayson Price: "Must you always make small talk? Can't you see I'm just sitting here, enjoying the peace and quiet, watching the lightning as it goes across the sky?"
Cameraman Stu: "Powers out, isn't it?"
Price takes a sip from his drink and then turns his attention to the fire.
Jayson Price: "Yeah. Been like an hour already."
Cameraman Stu: "Big ass building like this, full of all the expensive toys and gadgets that you have, and you never thought about investing in some backup generators?"
Jayson Price: "In my defense, I drink a lot."
Cameraman Stu: "Never noticed. So what are we going to do, just sit here and talk?"
Jayson Price: "Does this have to be a 'we' kind of night? I mean, I don't even remember inviting you over."
Cameraman Stu: "You didn't, but honestly do you ever?"
Jayson Price: "No, yet here you are in my house. Kind of like a cockroach, only noisier."
Cameraman Stu: "Yeah, but can a cockroach bring you drinks and take your insults without complaining?"
Jayson Price: "You've yet to bring me a drink and you haven't stopped complaining, so what else you got?"
Cameraman Stu: "I dunno, friendship?"
Price turns to Stu, the look on his face all the response he needs.
Cameraman Stu: "Yeah, I didn't buy that one either. Fine, I'll leave you to your drinking in the dark."
Jayson Price: "Oh shut up and keep your ass in that chair and be grateful that the power is out or I would have thrown you out the door myself."
Stu contemplates leaving but decides he's actually got nothing better to do than sit and be insulted. Stu lives a very sad life.
Jayson Price: "Atta boy. Now, for making the smart choice and staying, I've got a present for you."
Price reaches down beside the couch and pulls out a DVD case.
Cameraman Stu: "The fuck is that? A DVD? People still have DVDs?"
Jayson Price: "Yes, people still have DVDs, you fucking moron. And besides, this is a very special viewing I'm letting you in on."
Cameraman Stu: "You mean like that last 'special viewing' you let me in on? Because I still haven't gotten the image of that midget-"
Jayson Price: "This isn't that kind of-"
Cameraman Stu: "I still don't understand how she got that balloon up-"
Jayson Price: "STU! NOT THAT KIND OF MOVIE!"
Cameraman Stu: "Thank god. But uh, at the expense of getting cursed out and then thrown out, the powers still out."
Jayson Price: "...fuck. Well what in the fuck am I supposed to do now?! I had this whole thing I did where I dressed up like Chris Hanson and I was doing a very special episode of To Catch A Predator and I had this guy dressed up like Logan and I was just ripping into him for all the shit he's done to fuck up people's minds and...GOD DAMN IT!"
Cameraman Stu: "Well fuck, that sounds like a brilliant piece of work!"
Jayson Price: "And the production value was fucking tits. But now I can't even show it to you!"
Cameraman Stu: "Well I mean you could still tell me all the 'Logan ripping' stuff and then when the power comes back on we can watch it."
Jayson Price: "Ah hell, it's not like we have anything better to do. All right, sit back there in that chair and prepare to have feel a touch of sympathy for Logan."
Cameraman Stu: "Is that possible?"
Jayson Price: "When you hear what I have to get off my chest you just might."
Price reaches down and pours himself a fresh glass of whiskey. He sits back, takes a sip and then looks dead ahead into the fire.
Jayson Price: "Logan I really don't understand what you think you're going to get out of coming back and running your mouth about me. Maybe this is all just about you needing another shot at the spotlight because you've grown tired of being forgotten by the new guys and the fans. Sure you probably still have the support of the die hard marks that have been saving their team of treachery shirts for the last decade, but do you really still believe that there are that many fans out there who remember your name, let alone want to see you wrestle again?
Do you think that they will remember the accomplishments that you had and the titles you won? Or the moments you were apart of and the feuds that you had? Because I think that the few people who will remember your name today are the people who only remember it for being associated with some of the darkest and most trash moments in the history of this company.
Logan: The man that humped a photograph of a man's wife for shock value because he never had enough brain cells to come up with better ideas.
Logan: The man who dressed up as a better looking but less talented Sarah Twilight. That wasn't even that much of a controversial moment but I couldn't resist reminding the world about the time Logan was going through an identity crisis and decided to become a crossdresser. Shit was fucking hilarious and reminded us all that you had
Logan: The man who for years made a career out of having a hotdog fetish. And while many people may think that I'm joking or exaggerating about this, this man truly would get hard-ons while looking at an 8 pack of hotdogs and fantasizing about inserting them one by one.
Logan: The man who made a career out of pelvic thrusting and lame ass catch phrases, essentially making him no better than Duff Man from The Simpsons. Do you think that people still use your catch phrases because it's the cool thing to do? It's not, they chant along with that bullshit because marking out for shit that goes against the norm is what these fans today do. And that pelvic thrusting bullshit? You think anybody wants to see your old fat ass out there moving your hips anymore? Ain't nobody seen your ass in years so I can only assume that with that hot dog fetish of yours you went right back to being Fat Logan. Oh that's right, I remember fat Logan. That despicable, nasty, covered in bodily fluids and dried up condiments version of you that used to waddle down to the ring and act like the fans were laughing with you and not at you. Please let that be the Logan that's coming back at XIII to face me so we can all get one last set of laughs in before I send you back to whatever sad-ass existence you were living.
But what really confuses me about this comeback match of yours is that I can't understand why you would be coming back now. I mean did you not get the notice? Your old safety-net AKA Seth Lerch is gone. Come on man it was no secret that the reason you got as many chances and opportunities you did was because of your relationship with the boss. You mean to tell me that we are all supposed to believe that a guy with a hot dog fetish and piss poor catchphrases was really good enough to get all those World Title matches. I'll give you all of those War victories, after all I'm actually that is perfect for a conniving sneaky little opportunist like you. And maybe you did have the talent to win some matches, but it must have been really easy for you to always fall back on the owner and rely on him to carry you to the top every time you stumbled and fell. But now you're coming back to a WCF where Seth Lerch is a name barely known let alone spoke by the roster because none of these new guys know who the fuck he is. Maybe you think Corey Black is going to do you a favor, show the fellow old-timer some love and help you screw me over since you both seem to have a hard on for seeing me fail, but I really find it hard to believe that you could ever succeed in this day and age without old Seth there ready to give you everything you wanted in exchange for a blowjob.
But for all of these things that I don't understand or am confused by, there's one thing that I am absolutely sure of. And that is that you are coming into XIII overconfident and sure of yourself, believing that this is going to be an easy match and that you are going to walk out with your head held high and the crowd chanting for you one more time. But it's not going to be like that. You aren't facing the Jay Price that beat you in 2009 at One. You aren't facing the Jayson Price that you once beat at XIII. You aren't facing any version of me that you've witnessed before because for the first time I'm walking into a match with absolutely everything to lose and that makes me the most dangerous man that's going to be at XIII. Do you really think that you can beat a man that's fighting for his career, that's facing a forced retirement because ownership thinks he doesn't have it anymore?
I know you can't relate because you've never had to face adversity in your entire wrestling career, not with an owner in your back pocket, but right now you are the only thing standing between me and my job and that means that you will not survive this match. If you think I'm coming into this like it's just another match, you are in for a rude awakening when that first punch brings you up out of your boots and lays your ass on the mat. This isn't a fucking joke for me Logan, any other time I would be coming into this looking just to beat you into the mat, but this Friday I'm looking to flat-out murder you just to make sure that I prove a point that I have lost absolutely nothing and am still the wrestler that I have always been.
Corey Black thinks that I am a joke. You think that I am a joke. A hell of a lot of people think that I am a joke. But you are all about to see that even though I have stumbled lately, you should never take me lightly because that is when I shock the fuck out of the world. I've said it a million times, there is a reason why I've won all of those matches and all of those titles. Aand it's not because I had an owner watching out for me and ensuring that I looked good, if anything it was always well documented that Seth and I had our issues. It's because I am one of the greatest wrestlers to ever lace up a pair of boots and step inside of a WCF ring. People like to put your face on the WCF Mount Rushmore like this company couldn't survive without you and owes you something but what does it say when you realize that I've done almost as much as you and I did it in a lot less time. Give me another 5 years and then maybe you can compare you and I Logan. Or fuck, maybe just give me 1 year with an owner kissing my ass and pushing me to the moon and then try to compare the two of us.
But at the end of the day there is no comparison. And I'm not talking about the wins or the titles or the accomplishments or the moments, nah. I'm talking about the fact that there is no comparing you to me because despite all of my flaws and all of my setbacks, I'm someone that people actually still want to see. I'm someone people actually still care about. You? You're a fucking garbage human being in wrestling boots still trying to get by with pelvic thrusts and "BOUDLE" because you've got nothing new to offer, just like you haven't for years, which is why you disappeared with no trace and no one asking "Where's Logan?".
And that is all I really need to say Logan. I could take back all of the insults and jokes and leave you just with the simple fact that whether you came back at XIII or not, you're still a relic of the past that nobody bothered or cared to remember because you aren't worth remembering. You are a stain on the history of WCF, one of it's most spectacular failures that everyone wishes never existed. And I can't undo everything that you did but I can sure as hell undo you in the ring and that's just what I'm planning on doing. So to paraphrase you, allow me to end this with simply...
SHUT UP BOUDLE!"
Price pauses to take another sip of his drink as he continues to stare into the fire. Nearby Stu sits silent, but his mouth is openly slightly in shock.
Jayson Price: "Fuck, I think vomited a little just saying that last sentence."
Cameraman Stu: "..."
Jayson Price: "Stu? You alive over there."
Cameraman Stu: "For fucks sake Price, did you really have to be that mean?"
Jayson Price: "I wasn't 'mean' enough, Stu. But I really didn't feel like getting arrested for rape."
At that moment the power pops back on.
Jayson Price: "Oh god damn it! Of course it comes back on now!"
Cameraman Stu: "I mean...I really don't think I can sit through that DVD now. I'm emotionally scarred and you weren't even addressing me!"
Jayson Price: "But, but, if you don't watch it, then it's like I did it for nothing!"
Cameraman Stu: "I can't do it god damn it!"
The scene fades out to black as Price and Stu continue to argue.
Wednesday July 11th, 2018
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
6PM
The scene fades back in as Jayson Price is relaxing in his living room, watching some television while enjoying a bowl of Cookie Crisp. Suddenly a very panicked Cameraman Stu runs into the room.
Cameraman Stu: "THERE YOU ARE! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! WHY HAVEN'T YOU RETURNED MY CALLS!?"
Jayson Price: "Whoa! Settle the fuck down. I've been on the road, you know, wrestling. And I had to get a new phone, someone leaked my old number and I was getting mad nudes from some really fat bitches."
Price shudders.
Cameraman Stu: "Have you seen what the fuck is going on?!"
Jayson Price: "With?"
Cameraman Stu: "XIII!"
Jayson Price: "What's going on? Did they move the venue or change what night I'm on or something?"
Cameraman Stu: "Oh my god...you don't know."
Stu rushes over and takes a seat next to Price.
Cameraman Stu: "Just watch this."
Stu taps on his phone and both he and Price lean it to watch.
Jayson Price: "...Lerch?!"
Cameraman Stu: "They played you."
Jayson Price: "BUT I'VE DONE ALL THIS TRAINING LIKE IT WAS LOGAN!"
Cameraman Stu: "Played. You."
Jayson Price: "Leave."
Cameraman Stu: "What?! But I didn't do anyt-"
Jayson Price: "LEAVE!"
Price cocks back and launches his bowl of cereal at Stu as he scurries away. A now very unrelaxed Price stares ahead as the scene fades out.
Wednesday July 11th, 2018
Price Tower
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11pm
The scene reopens and we're once again back inside of the living room atop Price Tower, but this time Price is all alone, nobody else in sight. The television is off, there's no noise except for the crackling coming from the fireplace, it the only light in the entire home. Price is sitting hunched over on the couch, elbows on his knees and his fists resting under his chin, as he stares ahead at a nearly empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. Finally, after what seems like ages, he speaks.
Jayson Price: "You really didn't want to do this Seth, you really didn't. In one of your drunken stupors you might have thought 'I really want to do this', but no Seth, you really didn't want to do this. You might be going through some sort of mental breakdown where you truly believe that you are Logan, but some neuron in that pea sized brain of yours must be screaming 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' to the rest of you. Because that tiny little neuron, in that tiny little brain, knows that the rest of your brain that is fueling this breakdown is taking you to a place that you don't want be. Because this sudden bravado that you're showing off to the world, looking into a camera and speaking to me like you finally have a set of balls, I know that's not you Seth. These kids in WCF today that weren't around to know you name, they'll hear you talk and think 'Wow, who is this guy?', not realizing that you were once the man that ran WCF because you've been forgotten just that quickly. But when I hear you talk like you just did to me, with that little bit of bass in your voice like you've never had before, all I can do is remember the shit you've pulled that's effected me. And that, Seth, is a problem for you.
Again, I don't know if this whole Logan schtick is a ruse or if you're really going through some mental shit, but I don't really care because you've decided to come at me for some reason and I'm not the type to just sit back and let somebody speak on my name like you did. So you want to puff out your chest, raise your voice and talk about everything that you...or you Logan....fuck I don't even know how to address this in a way you'll understand because I don't know know who you think you are. You know what, I'ma address you both because I've got way too much shit to say to you both, so whoever is in control of that brain right now, please pay attention."
Price pauses to finish off the last swallows of whiskey before he throws the empty bottle into the fireplace. We can hear it shatter before Price resumes.
Jayson Price: "Lerch, you are without a doubt the most pussy ass mother fucker that I've ever had the displeasure of sharing a room or ring with. Even with this identity crisis bullshit you still sit in the shadows running your mouth, talking a big game and trying to downplay the importance that I've had in WCF. You like to praise the accomplishments of guys like Torture and Creeping Death, reminisce on the early 'glory' days of Hellz Angel and Mace, and finish it all off with a verbal handjob for your golden boy, the man you're trying to be right now, Logan. But never once do you recognize what the fuck I've done for the company that you founded. You play me off as a one trick pony that's had his 15 minutes and already rode off into the sunset. The fact is I've been here in WCF for 9 years, putting in the work in more matches than Hellz Angel, Mace or Torture. I've won more matches that everyone except for Logan and Creeping Death and there isn't one single person in the entire history of your company that's won more titles than me. Yet you still choose to disrespect my name and talk about me as though I'll always be nothing more than a footnote in the WCF history book. And you know what, that's my fault. You still choose to be ignorant and disrespectful because you don't think that I'm going to do anything about it except sit back and take it because you're the boss. Oh wait, I'm sorry, were the boss. See you've had this free reign all these years to shoot from the hip and say whatever it is that you wanted to say because you could hide behind a desk, surrounded by lawyers, issuing out threats of suspensions and fines when it seemed like somebody was going to do something about that mouth of yours. But you aren't behind a desk anymore Seth, right now you're talking shit from what appears to be your mother's basement, cosplaying as Logan while leaving the world wondering if you're crazy or a genius or a little bit of both. And honestly, I don't care if it's A, B or C, Seth, all I care about is that right now you're running your mouth about me and you no longer have that desk, those lawyers or those threats to stop me from delivering a beating that will make even your sister feel sympathy for you again. And believe me, if I knew just where it is that you're at right now I'd come after you and show you why you need to rethink who you decide to call out, but I don't so instead I'll just let you sit back and relax until XIII.
But that's two whole days away and I need something to do to pass the time, so what's say we revisit our long, twisted history since WCF has gone through yet another renaissance since you decided to leave, leaving many of today's talent unaware of who you even are and having to resort to Google just to learn that it was you who founded WCF. But these new guys don't need Google to find out what kind of man you are Seth, I'm more than happy to share your exploits with them.
Lets talk about your track record as the Owner of WCF, a job so easy anyone can do it. And in fact almost anyone CAN do it as proven by the fact that you've lost control of this company enough times that it's become a fucking trope. Forgetting the dozen or so times you let Gravedigger seize control, can you even name every person that you let complete a hostile takeover? It doesn't even matter if it was by gambling the farm on a match or the fact that you refuse to read anything before signing it, you always managed to be a monumental fuck-up who couldn't keep control of a nearly billion dollar company for more than a year at a time. And it's not even like it's a hard fucking job, you've always had a roster full of talent that brought in all the cash while all you had to do was cut the checks and occassionally make some announcement to the fans, but through ineptitude and arrogance, time after time, you proved to be the Gomer Pyle of wrestling owners. But I guess we can all blame it on the alcohol, right Seth? Take it from an alcoholic, a very well documented alcoholic at that, you need to lay off the fucking bottle and get your life together because you are a mess and more than likely it's the cause of this Logan cosplay.
Or maybe not. I mean, you've always had such a serious hard-on for Logan, I guess dressing up and trying to pretend that you are him was always going to be something we should have been prepared for. Sure, you two had your little spells where you came off like you hated each other, but it was never any secret that you liked him. Hell, I'd go as far as saying that you idolized the man, which when you think about it makes sense of all this shit you're doing now, especially when you combine it with the boozing. But it really makes sense that you two would be such good friends or that you would idolize as if he were a God, seeing as how the both of you are two of the worst mother fuckers to walk this Earth. Don't get me wrong, I know about not throwing rocks in a glass house and whatnot, and I know that I'm in no position to be judging the actions of people. But you, Seth, you and Logan are not people. You two are vile, nasty little pieces of shit that don't get afforded the same treatment as others. I could say a million things about you, Seth, I could put every little detail of your sordid, evil history of blast, things the newcomers would never find on Google, but I only need to remind the world about one thing...Uncle Seth.
For all the things that make Logan the horrible person that he is, at least I can give him credit for the fact that he isn't a baby killer. Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't actually kill a baby, you don't have the stones in you to do such a thing, nah, you had to hire someone to do it for you. Your own sister's baby, a little child that would have grown up to call you Uncle Seth, and you hired somebody to force a miscarriage just because it was my seed. It drove you insane to know that I was dating your sister. It drove you to mad to know that I was fucking her every chance I got. It drove you crazy to know that we were actually thinking of having a future together. But when you found out that there was a little baby on the way, one that was half Price and half Lerch, that took a wrestling feud and made it into what it is now. The last time you and I faced off, I took it easy. You weren't a threat, you weren't anything really, you were just you and I let you walk out of the ring because I had nothing to gain by destroying you. But now, with you wanting to talk to me like a man and ask if I remember all of these things...Yeah, I remember them all Seth. I remember everything. So now I want you to remember that I didn't come asking for this fight. I didn't tell Corey Black "GIVE ME SETH LERCH!". I was all ready to face Logan. I didn't want Logan, I made that clear, but I was ready for Logan. But for whatever reason this is what I'm getting and it seems like it's because you wanted it, so remember that when you're trying to figure out why I'm beating you down not like a fellow wrestler, but like you deserve."
The scene cuts with no warning, leaving things on that final sentence.
