Post by murphy on Feb 8, 2018 20:45:54 GMT -5
Excuses.
Incoming video Call from "corporate tool"
Swipe left to accept or swipe right to ignore.
[The pink painted perfectly manicured skull and black cross bone with bloody bow ties press the touch screen on the Iphone and swipes left to answer the video chat.]
You better have a DARN good reason why you and your partner failed to promote your match against two talents that covered your BUTTS this week! Sorry for raising my voice. I apologize.
Yeah, well.. You should be sorry. Infact, how dare you, sir! I sent your human resources department documented evidence of my FULL medical clearance. So there. Also, my flight was canceled, the car broke down, ran out of gas AND ran my poor puppy dog poodle over because we had to rush to meet your terrorist demands!
You sent us a FEDEX express Doctor's note from Dr. Hank E. Panky. MD.
The M.D. Is how you know it's legit.
It's written in pink crayon!
I was out of ink pens, ok! Err, uh.. I, mean the Doctor. He was out..of ink pens? Crap!
Just take a deep breath and relax. I think you are being a little over dramatic here, don't you?
Overdramatic? Overdramatic! Ok, yeah, maybe just a little but I'm also harmonal. See it's "that" time of the month and sometimes, occasionally, on rare occorances like this? Well, let's just just say that some have called me moody, difficult, hard to be around, anyways, what were we talking about again? Think I might have suffered slight amnesia from the massive concussion given to me in your unsafe work environment. Well, that's what my uncle the lawyer advised to me. Has surprisingly reasonable rates for an orthodox Jew. No offense.
No offense? I'm not Jewish.
Oh, really? S0Oo... Is it circumsized then, you know.. Down there in your naughty place?
That is an extremely offensive and highly inappropriate comment to make!
It was just a question, geez! Lighten up DRAMA QUEEN!
No YOU are the drama queen!
No, you are!
Grow up!
Make me!
Don't blame me for your psycho babble you crazy nutcase, that's your PARENTS FAULT!
Gasp! Awkward silence.
I apologize. That comment was uncalled for coming from an official authority figure.
Yeah, me too, I'm sorry. Still friends?
Look, I like you, in a please don't make me issue a restraining order on you because you might be a crazy stalker that gives off that basic instinct, fatal attraction sort of way but the next time we pay you to promote our events, I highly suggest you do that, understood?
Aye eye, caption, roger that, hear you loud and clear breaker breaker one nine (makes static fuzz CB radio sound) copy that big ten four, over.
Right. See you next week.
(Video call ends and she turns to the camera with a bubbly smile.)
That was fun!
Opposites Attract
Ok boys and girls. Men and women. Transgenders and Gays.. Fat or anorexic.. Whatever you chose to identify, is fine with me. It doesn't matter if you're a bigoted racist, Nazi loving Socialist Communist, a terrorist sympazizer or if you're a Republican, see what I did there? If you are a strap on enthusiast or butt licker. Your money all spends the same to me so thank you for your charitable donations on my gofundme account and don't forget to check our wedding wish list registry online.
Now I'd like to take the time to answer some of your fan mail here on a littlesegment that I like to call... Alina's voice.. America's choice. Making female wrestling GREAT AGAIN!
(The camera is angled into a position where it exposes the blank paper she is reading from is in plain view. )
Jolene from Tulsa, Oklahoma writes. Alina, how did you and your future husband meet and what do you and Jack Smith both have in common? Congratulations bee tea double you on your wedding announcement.. Awe. Isn't she just sweet enough to cause a cavity. Well, to answer your question.. What's that? We're out of time? Sorry wrestling fanatics, until next time, this is Alina Murphy signing off.
