Post by wcfhomevideo on Jan 9, 2018 19:43:39 GMT -5
(We are at 50 Rockefeller Plaza inside the 15th floor offices of WCF Home Video. Matt Lauer and Bill O’Reilly are sitting around a conference table. The phone at the front desk will not stop ringing, there is no one at the desk to answer.)
Matt Lauer: Bill, where is Charlie? I’d like to get our first WCF Home Video meeting started. Hey we’re back in TV Bill, that makes me a busy man again.
Bill O’Reilly: Rose said he is in his office getting dressed for the meeting. Why the hell won’t that phone stop ringing? (yelling now, in the direction of the font desk) Is anyone going to answer that?!
Matt Lauer: Oh yeah, about that Bill. I’ve got the secretary locked in my office. I plan on getting her to have sex with me later until she passes out. Like I said Billy boy, I’m back in TV, that makes me a busy man.
Bill O’Reilly: What!? You’ve got Janet, our front desk secretary, locked in your office. And your plan is to force her to have sex with you later until she passes out?
Matt Lauer: Force is a strong word Bill. Sure, I plan holding her career over her head unless she agrees to want to have sex with me, but is that really forcing? Why are you so upset Bill?
Bill O’Reilly: Why am I upset? You know that brunette who works in accounting, Angela? Well, I have been calling her nightly for three weeks having completely inappropriate conversations. Every day at the office I have been making disgusting, borderline racist comments to her. I’ve got tons of creepiness invested in her, yet never would I be so morally bankrupt as to have sex with her. I’m judging you Lauer, I’m better than you.
(Charlie Rose walks in dressed only in a bathrobe.)
Charlie Rose: Sorry for being late, I had to stop off at the break room and show a few of the women that work here my penis. Sure, it’s in it’s mid 70’s, is wrinkled and limp, but this is what women want to see. God, I love TV, great to back isn’t boys.
(The phone is ringing again and now we can hear knocking from the inside of Lauer’s office.)
Feint Female Voice: Mr. Lauer?...Matt?
(Lauer starts to speak as he gets up from his chair)
Matt Lauer: Bottom line, we are all busy. So let’s just go with his for the press release:
Matt Lauer, Bill O’Reilly, and Charlie Rose have created M.O.R. Media and acquired…
(Lauer is interrupted by O’Reilly)
Bill O’Reilly: Lauer what does M.O.R. stand for again?
Charlie Rose: It’s obvious isn’t it. M.O.R. stands for Matt, O’Reilly, Rose. I like it.
Matt Lauer: Although I agree it’s obvious, M.O.R. doesn’t stands for our names. It stands for what we believe in; Mistreat, Objectify, Rape.
Bill O’Reilly: Oh yeah, good stuff Lauer, now bloviate on.
Matt Lauer: ..have created H.O.R. Media and acquired the rights to produce and distribute WCF Home Videos. They have also acquired the existing WCF library and will be redistributing all existing WCF videos under the new WCF Home Video banner.
(Matt Lauer rushes out of the room and sprints to his office where he unlocks the door, slips in, and locks the door from the inside.)
Charlie Rose: Bill, have I ever told you how much I love TV.
Bill O’Reilly: You and me both Rose, you and me both.
(Fade to Black)
