Post by smith on Nov 28, 2017 14:12:09 GMT -5
[The scene opens inside Paladino's In Tarzana, California. Alana Murphy sits on a round wooden bar stool with microphone in her hand and a smile on her red painted lips.]
Host: Please welcome our next open mic night comedian, coming all the way from Scotland she is the lovely and talented miss Alina Murphy!
Hey-hey! What's up my fellow alcoholics?. It's good to be here. So I had a Birthday recently, just turned twenty one.
(cheers from the crowd)
Thank you. That's right, I'm a legal drunk now. So, ok. It's my birthday right and My boyfriend, he asks me "what do you want for your birthday?"
What I REALLY want won't be something easy to give. I feel you should know that going in. Because this is something that you need to train for like it's a championship fight or a bloody decathlon. There's a risk of getting hurt or injured and it could take a very, very verrrrrry long time to do. So now he's like "alright out with it already what is it?"
[She takes in a deep breath then exhales slowly.]
What I want for my Birthday, is... an orgasm.
[Whistles, applause and catcalls are heard from the crowd.]
You need to appreciate the difficulty of this ask and how super ultra rare of a thing it is to accomplish. It's like capturing Bigfoot and a Chupacabra gang banging the Easter Bunny after coming off its period while Santa watches from his magic sled, alright? Definitely not easy. I got to give it to my boyfriend though for doing what no other man has been able to do. Now women? That's another story... You've been a great crowd, that's all my time, thank you!
[The people in attendance stand up and give a round of applause as Alana Murphy slides the microphone back into the microphone stand then blows a kiss to Jack Smith who is now shown on camera catching the kiss and eating it before fading out to darkness.]
Host: Please welcome our next open mic night comedian, coming all the way from Scotland she is the lovely and talented miss Alina Murphy!
Hey-hey! What's up my fellow alcoholics?. It's good to be here. So I had a Birthday recently, just turned twenty one.
(cheers from the crowd)
Thank you. That's right, I'm a legal drunk now. So, ok. It's my birthday right and My boyfriend, he asks me "what do you want for your birthday?"
What I REALLY want won't be something easy to give. I feel you should know that going in. Because this is something that you need to train for like it's a championship fight or a bloody decathlon. There's a risk of getting hurt or injured and it could take a very, very verrrrrry long time to do. So now he's like "alright out with it already what is it?"
[She takes in a deep breath then exhales slowly.]
What I want for my Birthday, is... an orgasm.
[Whistles, applause and catcalls are heard from the crowd.]
You need to appreciate the difficulty of this ask and how super ultra rare of a thing it is to accomplish. It's like capturing Bigfoot and a Chupacabra gang banging the Easter Bunny after coming off its period while Santa watches from his magic sled, alright? Definitely not easy. I got to give it to my boyfriend though for doing what no other man has been able to do. Now women? That's another story... You've been a great crowd, that's all my time, thank you!
[The people in attendance stand up and give a round of applause as Alana Murphy slides the microphone back into the microphone stand then blows a kiss to Jack Smith who is now shown on camera catching the kiss and eating it before fading out to darkness.]
