INTERNET TITLE MATCH THREAD - Stephen v William the Behemoth

[Stephen Singh]

@surethingsingh

Shouldn't you be firing the first shot, champ? I hate this keyboard cunt shit but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, right Neil Fatrick Harris? If respect isn't given, it must be taken so that's what I'm here for. You? I assume you're here for the takeout.  Nevermind, fat people always order delivery. Less walking/being seen in public that way.

@surethingsingh
Anyways, don't be shy, dive right in! Just like your portly peer here did!

[Stephen Singh]

Let's have a live look in at William the Memehemoth trying to weigh on this IT title discussion:

Dammit, Wilbur! That's a phone! You're better than this!

Just kidding, you're not.

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Hey guys, William the Behemoth here. I was hyping myself up for my match at helloween when fucking dumbass, Time-of-the-month-again Stephen Singh starts on me! Calling me fucking obese and all that other bullshit. It ain't funny, it ain't creative and it ain't TRUE MOTHERFUCKER!!

But I get why you're so upset, you've betrayed your way to the bottom, middle and top of the WCF mountain but now someone's betrayed you it's all 'bkah blah blah he's fat, blah blah blah I'm lying for effect he's all muscle'.

So stop jaguar penis long enough to realise that you've no hope against a british keyboard warrior such as myself. Stop trying to convince people you've got a live feed of whatever I do cause only I have that privelage because I'm fucking Tony Iron Man bitch. And finally when we get to the match don't act like a bootleg Dick Dastardly from de fukin Wacky Races.



That's you. Cunt.

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

I don't even blame you for your obvious failure to comphrehend my Internet power. You live in a non-british country. Without a British education you probably have the brain power of a fecking oak tree.

See look at internet sensation Big Shaq. Wanna look at Britian's remixes of Mans Not Hot?




All beautiful, intelligent and awesome remixes.

American remixes?



WHAT? JIMMY FUCKING FALON?? HE FUCKING SUCKS! AND SINCE YOU'RE FROM AMERICA ASWELL THAT MEANS YOU SUCK AS WELL!! FAGGAAAAT!

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE REAL BIG SHAQ!!

[Stephen Singh]

@surethingsingh

You're right, the fat jokes are too easy, at this point they don't really carry the weight they should. You know? They lack a certain heft, getting even a bit burdensome. Your feet probably know the feeling of being burdened right? Okay that was (probably) the last one.

@surethingsingh
Honestly, I commend you on how far you've come. Not too many people know about your struggles before hitting the WCF in such prime fighting shape. Let's hit 'em with the flashback to what a struggle it used to be for you to even get out of bed in the morning:

[Stephen Singh]

Just to be clear, I'm definitely still going to do the fat jokes.

But what else can I do in this mediocre medium? You're a two-time IT champ, right?

Wow me!

Gimme that ole razzle dazzle, Richard Gerth!

You may not know it but there's actually been GOOD things that came of some Internet Title feuds. Men have left blood, limbs, and legacies in the division.

But you?

You've got no shiaclap.exe

A phrase like "I've got a gif for that!" won't echo after you've dropped the title.

You can't even manage a well-placed LOLFGT if we're being serious.

What you're going to get is a lesson, Memehemoth. You're going to get a lesson in verbal violence, in diabolical dialogue and internet intimidation.

From me. A man who loathes the form but loves the gold. So settle in and take some notes. Because the only time you're in my class is when I'm teaching it. It's your turn now, the Professor of Pugilism is calling on you.

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

And now here we are with the worlds most feroicious, grueling competitors, and Stephen Singh's shit eating grin, to ever whirl their keyboards in the IT match thread.

Dick Dastardly's bitch ass says he's gonna quit using illogical and false fat jokes.

He doesn't. 

And then he tries to convince the worlds greatest Internet champion to use incorrect grammar and the same 50 memes like some sort of any person living in any country that isn't the UK. But do not worry folks, William is too posh to use the same mannerisms as unemployed neckbeards talking about Kekistani. 

Join in next week for footage of Dick Dastardly inhaling his own midget fumes as he cries about his heritage and how he only asked for this match because he was envious of Williams British ways.


Also here's a picture of Dick Dastardly's face.

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Listen Singh. All seriousness your whole stick where you act like an atheist on reddit with an even bigger ego somehow is effective at making me want to kick your face in. But I already wanted to kick your face in as soon as you calledy team the Very Obese Security, which is not actually the team name, fake news and congratulations on your first fake news, first ifamy most likely. I appreciate your consturctive critiscism but there's a reason the IT title is won by the first or second loser at Ultimate Showdown and it has more to do with those low quality foreigner memes than your uneducated self would think.

The problem with the memes was, they were too small. They were midget memes, Shia LeBeouff is a midget as in whoever made .jpg a thing. And you guys know the rules if it's a midget it eats turtle faeces every 12 seconds. Why the fuck would I want a meme that eats Turtle Faeces?!

#notmymemescuntassholeimnotfat.jpg.org

So I'm gonna be here, sipping on my tea in my bowler hat, enjoying my VERY British evening and you can go betray Gravedigger again because that was pretty funny. I mean no disrespect to Gravedigger but I'm still owed a picture of him getting kicked into the moon and the betrayal at Helloween was like the next best thing.

[Stephen Singh]

Hamhander in Chef of the Internet, I've got a few quick Qs.

Who's supposed to be editing your posts? They're littered with typos, errors and gibberish.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. Well let's just pretend those are all intentional like some sort of meta commentary on how the Internet is actually detrimental to our collective ability to communicate. By the way, did you make a Kekistan reference? That's impressive. Who's been spending time on 4chin.org lately?

Oh of course, it's you. Okay, last question: who's the fucking jobber that's going to get crushed by their Golden God on Sunday?

You are correct sir! wilford, tell him what's he won!

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

See Singh this is actually getting kinda difficult for me I-I'll explain. 

Normally I read your post, use my S.A.S connections to release extremely true info about you and then photoshop a face together that looks dumb and say it's your face to the joy of all the intelligent british fans of the WCF.

Example: You're calling me dumb because there's some spelling mistakes in my posts? Well it's impossible for a British person to be dumb so you're wrong, fag. Also the S.A.S just told me that Stephen Singh is a baby mosqiito and sucks duck dick. 

See? I'm the new Shakespeare.
But the problem is that strategy only works if the guy you're arguing with is creative. All you've done is said a fat joke, like everyone does, then said your gonna stop the fat jokes while still using fat jokes, then said you're not stopping fat jokes, then you've added a tiny bit around how I should disobey my British manners and use gifs but then you just used more fat jokes! 

I'll admit I get a tiny bit angry when people call me fat but it loses it's edge if it's the only thing you say. 

[Stephen Singh]

[Stephen Singh]

Listen guys, my next instinct here is to run-down Britain. I thought about something like this:

AN EXHAUSTIVE LIST OF EVERYTHING GOOD TO
COME OUT OF BRITAIN IN THE KNOWN HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

America

/List

And though that would be fine as a jab, it's not true. England is home to London. London! One of the greatest cities in the world! It's a seat of such rich culture and history that I can't possibly disparage Britain as having made absolutely no contribution to the world at large. I mean, once you get outside of London, England is literally a wasteland full of fungus-mouthed bumpkins flapping their diseased gums about "Brexit" and the like. But still, London basically makes up for it.

So if I'm not going to disparage one of the great epicenters of culture, I'm basically left with the reality of your largess to discuss. Because that's it, Memehemoth, that's all you boys have ever brought to the table. Congrats on being two-dimensional, that's one more than most of these WCF mooks and mulkies manage. But kind of like VBS at a buffet, that doesn't leave much.

I'd love to stop with the fat jokes (no I wouldn't) but outside of your newfound anglophilia, there's nothing else about you to talk about. You've lucked into two Internet Title reigns, haven't defended it successfully once, and squandered EVERY opportunity that came via being in my near orbit for a brief period.

That was probably strange for you, as I'm sure you guys are more accustomed to having things pulled into your orbit. (see I'll never stop)

Sunday night I'm going to beat the shit out of you and the respect back into you. I'm going to take the title, then shit on it just as promised and maybe hand it right back to you the week after. Because you and that strap are being made an example of. Seth and the WCF have disrespected Stephen Singh and you're the one left picking up the tab. I'd almost feel guilty if you didn't have this coming so deeply for that treasonous shit you pulled on me a few weeks back. That was probably the most memorable thing you'll do in the WCF. It's unfortunate that you soon won't be able to remember it yourself because I'm going to bash you skull in.

Who's getting CTE this weekend?!

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Bruh.

This dude did not just say that the only good thing about the best country in the entire milky way galaxy America? I don't speak American but I'm pretty sure that makes no sense literaly or mathmaticaly. So lets do the math, ay?

America invented freedom, which adds 20 country points.
And they have a lot of money which adds 10 country points.
But they also made the emoji movie which takes off 5 points
They have this weird argument thing with these Antifa guys and apparently they have nazis again so that takes of 20000 points.
And finally they're not Britian which takes off a further 3000000000 points. And that all adds up to around about -3000019970 which for a big country is kinda poor.

And then there's Britian which lets see
They invented manners which adds 20 points.
The TV Champ, World Champ and my man John Rabid lives in England which adds 9000000000000 points.
Ainsley lives in England which I guess adds a few points if looked at from a genrous perspective.
Britian beat the Spanish inquisition which adds a further 3000 points.
We beat the Pre-Nazi Germans which adds 200 points.
We beat the actual Nazi Germans which adds 400000 points.
And finally we're the best country which adds infinite points.
So that all adds up to infinite points which makes it the best country in the world beating out close seconds Belgium who managed to rack up -200000 points.

And man no wonder I couldn't capitalise on any of them oppurtunities, I was too busy getting beaten up while bravely covering for your ass whenever John Rabid or Teo del Sol came knocking. Now think back to the last time I was beaten up while covering for John Rabid.

Exactly! Now I've gone all brit I'm making a big impact. Tag champs are cheating their way out of matches against me. I'm main eventing. I'm going big, if you'll pardon the pun.

[Stephen Singh]

And now let's get a look at how this IT thread is going for William:



(inb4 Free William notes that he has to be the whale in this scenario because the whale is bigger but then follows it up with something inane about it all being muscle, etc etc)

[Stephen Singh]

This grows tiresome. Can I just start pandering to Seth until he puts me back in the World Title picture now?

What does that manchild even like? Money...booze...90s rock....I've got just the thing!

That's the stuff, right Seth? I looked up "pearl jam" initially because I could've sworn that was what you loved and I'm not here to judge or anything but uhh....

[Stephen Singh]

Strategic pandering aside, let's use this imbecilic internet to have a quick look back on the cancer of a career W the B and A the T have had so far here in the WCF:






A couple of cookie-muching, no-talent shitstains who rode some coattails (MINE!) to the midcard and now jackoff to Queen E/John Rabid fanfic every night.

That about covers it right?

[Stephen Singh]

C'mon Champ!

It's fight day! You should be trying to get in whatever last futile shots you can before I take that title and whatever modicum of self-respect you wrongfully have!

And please ignore the palpable disappointment of the WCF Faithful as they realize they're about to watch a main event with you in it. They're just mean sometimes.

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Err.. Real quick can I get a representation of what Stephen Singhs world title reign would've been like if VBS didn't have his back?



Yeah your title reign is the fly and the Judge lady is your obvious incompetence and lack of fighting prowess. I'l admit you have above average intelligence for a non brit but look at this scientifically made representation of the power of your punches against an American flag. 





Pffft what is that? Is that the kind of Karate they teach on Gaaahbage island? Cause it's Garbage.




Oh shiiit, that ain't an explosion that a fucking tsar bomb and it goin hit you face tonight biyatch.

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

And by the way, the reason I ain't replied to much even though it's match day is because using the super advanced future vision device only British scientist's could make but everytime I use the super intelligent, British spot feature it just shows me this.




Wait a second lemme zoom in on this real quick. 



Oh shit that's a not photoshopped picture of Stephen Singh getting kicked into outer space after one hit because he's a microscopic germ and I'm a silverback gorilla on 'roids. 

[Stephen Singh]