Slam 400 Internet Title Match: William vs David Sanchez

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Bam Bang, it's your boy William, Writer of complex Theories, Destroyer of Bears. And also personal bodyguard of the world fricking champion. Now the past few weeks for me have been 'interesting', on the one hand, my association to the world champ gave me a bunch of title shots and number one contenders matches...

I didn't win any of them but.. that's because they're a bunch of Mini Dick Faggaats and I wanted to go easy on them!

Ok maybe Jayson Price isn't as much of a Mini Dick fagaat as the others but I still went easy on him and he's still an asshole!!

And on the other hand fricking James Bond rip-off Teo del Sol just fucking exploded my tag partners face. Seriously Ainsley's face is fecked, I left and got some mcdonalds as soon as he went to the emergency room because listening to the diagnosis and stuff would've been boring but I saw it when we were walking to the back his face is just a bunch of misplaced noses and eyes and mouths and blood strapped on to a circle of skin.

And when I got kicked out of the ring, because there was some water left on the floor and i tripped so i fell and thats definetely what happened and if you think otherwise your LYYYIIIING! I expected all of my other Everest best friends to come out and save the day. But where were they? I DON'T FECKING KNOW!! And then the fricking human incarnation of the rabid bear, yoy guys remember him, speared me through the barricade.

I know you guys don't think I'm a part of Everest, but I got the shirt, I got the shoes, I moved my bed into the cafeteria. I'm all set!

So at Slam 400, are you gonna help me deal with fricking bootleg agent 47? Or are you just gonna do stuff like be mayor of Chicago which is a lot less important than my health and safety. And judging by your response when the internet title match happens it'll either be 'Oh hi David, you're my friend so lets a respectable bout that'll make the midget fans happy! Or it'll be 'Oh hi David, Fuck you, I'm gonna throw you into a fucking satelite!!'

What's it gonna be David Sanchez?

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Hey guess what Sanchez? Mr and my CIA friends used some of your genetics to find out what species you are and it turns out you're actually a very rare species named the were-dung-beetle. Which means you eat a lot of shit. See below for proof



Now I don't know avout you guys but I don't want a skinny crap-ball maker running the internet. And I know you trying to give me the silent treatment but that ain't gonna work because I'm a very famous person with a lot of mainstream appeal. I don't even NEED attention but I get it anyway. Because I'm so popular. 

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth

Ay.

Ay man.

Perhaps my previous statements were a bit unintelligent and too aggressive. 

It would be better for everyone if we simply talked about our problems and- 

THIS YOU BIYATCH



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAA
AHAGAHAHAHAH

Man the only thing better than laughing in real life is constantly typing the world 'ha' in all caps. 

That is David Sanchez, by the way, it's not Photoshop. The background is real. 

[The Very Big Śpainards]

@6foot11behemoth 

David Sanchez when fronted about being a were-dung-beetle 




Ok that one isn't David Sanchez but it's PROBABLY how he's gonna react at least in my unbias opinion.