Post by TheButcher on Jul 14, 2016 14:07:24 GMT -5
....THE PHONE CALL...
***The Baron is sitting at home in the North Hills section of Pittsburgh. It's around 8 pm in the evening. He is watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974,) and is at the part where grandpa is trying to hammer the girl's head into the bucket.
The Baron starts laughing because this movie is his favorite Comedy movie. Then, the phone rings...***
(The Baron):
What?
***Someone on the other line starts talking, and you see The Baron's face get red, then more red..and then, veins start protruding from his forehead and neck.***
(The Baron):
Hey! Shut the fuck up! You know what??? I don't need your Schwinn dildo riding whores. I don't need to calm down. I don't need no fgt yoga bullshit. And, if I want to fuck someone up, I WILL!
MORE BLOOD, THE BETTER!!! SO, FUCK YINZ!
***The Baron takes his Droid, and almost throws it against the wall in hundreds of pieces, but.. Thinks of making a call out to someone***
(The Baron:)
Hey, it's Henker von Massaker. You remember what we spoke about after Slam in the hallway? I'm in!! I am ready to fuck everyone up that stands in my path, and sick of pussy ass fucksticks that are just content in doing zero! Action creates action!
***The mystery person on the other line says a few things that are inaudible. The Baron nods in agreement, and has a very, almost demonic smirk on his face.***
(The Baron:)
OK, it's done. We have a plan we both agree on for this weekend's Slam. But, in the meantime, I have to go to bed in a bit because I'm hitting the gym at 6 am. Good shit, and we will talk soon!
*******************************
...THE GYM AND SPARRING SESSION...
***The Baron walks into the gym promptly at 6 am the next morning. He hits the weight bench first, then does some squats, and then the powersled. The Baron sits down for a bit to cool down and drink some water. A guy comes over to The Baron.***
(The Guy:)
Can I have your autograph?
(The Baron:)
I have a better idea. Can I tattoo your head with my fist? Fuck No! Who the hell are you?
(The Guy:)
Well, I'm supposed to be your sparring partner today. The other one is out sick.
***The Baron laughs in his trademark ungodly, deep chuckle. The Baron sees this piece of shit that has to be barely 5' tall and barely 100 lbs. Soak'n wet.***
(The Baron:)
OK, OK..so you're taking his place? But, you look like a 2nd grader can beat you! What is your name, fuckstain?
(The Guy:)
My name...um,
My name is "The Tinfoil BB" Cane Damienne.
(The Baron:)
Cane??
***The Baron can't control his laughing at the irony of his name, and wondering if this is a joke, or just irony considering his opponent at Slam.***
(The Baron:)
Where you from, BB?
(Cane:) Hazzard County... In..
***The Baron can't compose himself from the sight of this loser and his fucking name**
(The Baron:)
OK, Duke boy..get your ass in the ring then!
***Both men get in the ring, and start to square off. The BB pushes The Baron with his finger, and The Baron just looks at him, and gives him a European uppercut. The Baron then easily picks up The Tinfoil BB into a powerbomb position, and executes his Sitout Powerbomb. The Baron picks up BB, and then delivers his Inverted Sidewalk Slam DDT. Cane just lays there.***
(Cane:)
Can you you just pin me now, Mr. von Massaker?
(The Baron:)
Fuck you! I don't see any blood yet!
***The Baron picks up The Tinfoil BB, and leans him upright in the corner. The Baron goes to the top rope, and executes The Blackout neckbreaker. The Baron finally pins The Tinfoil BB...1, 2, 3!***
(Cane:)
Oh, thank you sir! You made my day by pinning me!
(The Baron:)
I'm not done yet Cornfed Inbreeder!
***The Baron pulls out a wood cross from under the ring, as was suggested by someone on the internet chat boards earlier in the week. And, starts putting the Tinfoil BB on the cross!!!***
(The Baron:)
I hope this is on YouTube now! Hey, you down there!
***The Baron points to another gym patron near the ring**
(The Baron:)
Have you been filming this the whole time? If so, get a load of this and post it!
***The Baron pretends he's going to crucify The Tinfoil BB, like that person on the internet boards suggested, but instead... The Baron just teases the incident, and just continues to slam Cane's head into the wood cross. The Baron can't contain his rage, and just keeps tossing Cane into the cross. And, finally part of the cross breaks.
The Baron takes the broken part, and starts hitting Cane repeatedly in the head with it. Cane is bleeding profusely, and has a crimson mask. The Baron won't stop the 'Massaker' of Cane, until finally gym officials, EMTs, and the police come.
The police talk to The Baron, but he was able to say, 'it's ONLY fake because it's pro wrestling.'
The EMTs have to carry out Cane on a stretcher, and the police does not press charges. The gym officials try to remove The Baron from the gym's premises.***
(The Baron:)
Hey guy! Did you post that ass beating on the internet???
***The ringside guy nods sheepishly so he doesn't get his ass beat***
(The Baron:)
Good! Because... Damian Kaine, come Slam, that will be your ass! 1...2...3, and then a bloody heap being carted off!!!
***The ringside guy stops filming at this time***
***The Baron is sitting at home in the North Hills section of Pittsburgh. It's around 8 pm in the evening. He is watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974,) and is at the part where grandpa is trying to hammer the girl's head into the bucket.
The Baron starts laughing because this movie is his favorite Comedy movie. Then, the phone rings...***
(The Baron):
What?
***Someone on the other line starts talking, and you see The Baron's face get red, then more red..and then, veins start protruding from his forehead and neck.***
(The Baron):
Hey! Shut the fuck up! You know what??? I don't need your Schwinn dildo riding whores. I don't need to calm down. I don't need no fgt yoga bullshit. And, if I want to fuck someone up, I WILL!
MORE BLOOD, THE BETTER!!! SO, FUCK YINZ!
***The Baron takes his Droid, and almost throws it against the wall in hundreds of pieces, but.. Thinks of making a call out to someone***
(The Baron:)
Hey, it's Henker von Massaker. You remember what we spoke about after Slam in the hallway? I'm in!! I am ready to fuck everyone up that stands in my path, and sick of pussy ass fucksticks that are just content in doing zero! Action creates action!
***The mystery person on the other line says a few things that are inaudible. The Baron nods in agreement, and has a very, almost demonic smirk on his face.***
(The Baron:)
OK, it's done. We have a plan we both agree on for this weekend's Slam. But, in the meantime, I have to go to bed in a bit because I'm hitting the gym at 6 am. Good shit, and we will talk soon!
*******************************
...THE GYM AND SPARRING SESSION...
***The Baron walks into the gym promptly at 6 am the next morning. He hits the weight bench first, then does some squats, and then the powersled. The Baron sits down for a bit to cool down and drink some water. A guy comes over to The Baron.***
(The Guy:)
Can I have your autograph?
(The Baron:)
I have a better idea. Can I tattoo your head with my fist? Fuck No! Who the hell are you?
(The Guy:)
Well, I'm supposed to be your sparring partner today. The other one is out sick.
***The Baron laughs in his trademark ungodly, deep chuckle. The Baron sees this piece of shit that has to be barely 5' tall and barely 100 lbs. Soak'n wet.***
(The Baron:)
OK, OK..so you're taking his place? But, you look like a 2nd grader can beat you! What is your name, fuckstain?
(The Guy:)
My name...um,
My name is "The Tinfoil BB" Cane Damienne.
(The Baron:)
Cane??
***The Baron can't control his laughing at the irony of his name, and wondering if this is a joke, or just irony considering his opponent at Slam.***
(The Baron:)
Where you from, BB?
(Cane:) Hazzard County... In..
***The Baron can't compose himself from the sight of this loser and his fucking name**
(The Baron:)
OK, Duke boy..get your ass in the ring then!
***Both men get in the ring, and start to square off. The BB pushes The Baron with his finger, and The Baron just looks at him, and gives him a European uppercut. The Baron then easily picks up The Tinfoil BB into a powerbomb position, and executes his Sitout Powerbomb. The Baron picks up BB, and then delivers his Inverted Sidewalk Slam DDT. Cane just lays there.***
(Cane:)
Can you you just pin me now, Mr. von Massaker?
(The Baron:)
Fuck you! I don't see any blood yet!
***The Baron picks up The Tinfoil BB, and leans him upright in the corner. The Baron goes to the top rope, and executes The Blackout neckbreaker. The Baron finally pins The Tinfoil BB...1, 2, 3!***
(Cane:)
Oh, thank you sir! You made my day by pinning me!
(The Baron:)
I'm not done yet Cornfed Inbreeder!
***The Baron pulls out a wood cross from under the ring, as was suggested by someone on the internet chat boards earlier in the week. And, starts putting the Tinfoil BB on the cross!!!***
(The Baron:)
I hope this is on YouTube now! Hey, you down there!
***The Baron points to another gym patron near the ring**
(The Baron:)
Have you been filming this the whole time? If so, get a load of this and post it!
***The Baron pretends he's going to crucify The Tinfoil BB, like that person on the internet boards suggested, but instead... The Baron just teases the incident, and just continues to slam Cane's head into the wood cross. The Baron can't contain his rage, and just keeps tossing Cane into the cross. And, finally part of the cross breaks.
The Baron takes the broken part, and starts hitting Cane repeatedly in the head with it. Cane is bleeding profusely, and has a crimson mask. The Baron won't stop the 'Massaker' of Cane, until finally gym officials, EMTs, and the police come.
The police talk to The Baron, but he was able to say, 'it's ONLY fake because it's pro wrestling.'
The EMTs have to carry out Cane on a stretcher, and the police does not press charges. The gym officials try to remove The Baron from the gym's premises.***
(The Baron:)
Hey guy! Did you post that ass beating on the internet???
***The ringside guy nods sheepishly so he doesn't get his ass beat***
(The Baron:)
Good! Because... Damian Kaine, come Slam, that will be your ass! 1...2...3, and then a bloody heap being carted off!!!
***The ringside guy stops filming at this time***
