What to do now?

[Night Rider]

The past few weeks I have put out what I felt was some of my best work and yet I just keep losing. I don't know, maybe I'm just not good enough even at my best. I put so much work into everything with nothing to show for it. Maybe I should just give up! This last match I thought for sure I had it won. It seems that the Night Rider has some thinking to do. If even my best isn't good enough then why keep going. Yeah, I'm kind of pissed right now. Maybe after I cool down I will see things differently. I just can't understand why? Is it because of the things my character does? Because he kills people. It's who the Night Rider is. He's a hired assassin. I don't know, anyway we'll see.

[Corey Black]

If you write to win, you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

[Gemini Battle]

That's not fair.

It's fun to win. It's not fun to lose. I get what you're saying, night rider.

I ran a tally of my wins and losses. I won literally 4 singles matches. In 3 fucking years. It sucks man. That's why I can't bring myself to find time in my life that I could be using doing something else to write for 'fun' when it just leads to failure.

Then every role play ends up being 'well I may have lost the fight but not the war' or whatever bullshit you spew to try to get yourself out of the funk. But at the end of the day it doesn matter. If it's not fun it's not fun.

You don't see people who win saying 'I just don't feel it'.

That being said find a reason to write and let it flow. If losing bothers you so much then find another reason. Half ass your rps and post awesome segment on the show or something. He can still be a monster and not win matches.

[Corey Black]

If your fun hinges on winning and losing then you aren't a writer, pretty simple. The fun comes from creating stories and contribution to an imaginary world, not how many asses you stomp and titles you win. It helps, but it should never be the deciding factor in putting words together.

['The Shine' Brent Alpine]

Sorry to hear this and I can certainly understand how you're feeling. We invest a lot into our characters and work and it's a hard slog RPing week in and week out. I'm amazed by the guys here who consistently churn out 3000+ words of quality every week for years.

I think Corey has a good point but it was a bit bluntly expressed We all relish winning but our motivation has to be more for personal enjoyment and love of the craft. That can be hard to sustain and we need wins here and there to keep morale up.

You're a talented guy and I've known you to be a good contributor here. The standards in the WCF are ridiculously hard. For instance, I have an MA degree in Creative Writing and have had my work published a few times but have probably never been considered anywhere near the elite here.

When I was here first time around, I won the majority of my matches. Yet I never felt like people really enjoyed my work, besides Stuart Slane and Seth (who have been complimentary). My angles didn't really gain any interest. I'd almost rather to be the guy that loses all the time but has people engaged in my work. Admittedly, I often put way too much stock in RP likes and view count. It sometimes feels like I'm writing for myself and I've kinda had to come to terms with that rather than waiting for external validation.

Hope you feel more positive soon - it's great having you back here.

['The Shine' Brent Alpine]

Jun 6, 2016 12:42:19 GMT -5 Corey Black said:

If your fun hinges on winning and losing then you aren't a writer, pretty simple. The fun comes from creating stories and contribution to an imaginary world, not how many asses you stomp and titles you win. It helps, but it should never be the deciding factor in putting words together.

I'm not sure that's true. I've been around lots of writers on courses, professional contexts etc. The vast majority have been really insecure and vulnerable when it comes to their work. I've been in many a writing workshop where experienced and successful contributors come away crushed by the faintest criticism because they hold their craft so personally. In contrast to them, our primary source of feedback is wins and losses, essentially.

To be really successful here, we have to produce several thousand words of original content a week (sometimes at the detriment of work and family lives). I've seen so many people get burnt out here and it's sometimes easy to forget that this intensity is actually rather unparalleled in the e-wresting world. Just look at all the newbies who come here and write two paragraphs for their first RP because that was what they were used to in previous feds.

Night Rider's clearly venting his frustration and I don't think he did it in an antagonistic or poor me way. CD, you're absolutely right about what SHOULD be our motivations and it's important to have a thick skin. Yet we're all human and the intensity here naturally produces a few crises of confidence or frustrations.

[Corey Black]

I understand what wins and losses do, but I've "grown up" in WCF. Seen them all, beat them all, and realized if I lost every match it wouldn't have mattered. I had fun writing and being a jackass on the boards. That's what WCF is to me, and I implore anybody that gets down on losses looks at too. This is a place where Curt doesn't have to be a parent, where I can sass people and hopefully they sass me back. I can write a time travel story and hopefully make someone laugh, but more importantly, make myself laugh.

['The Shine' Brent Alpine]

That's a great place to be, CD. You're communicating something helpful. I think some of us are less far along on that journey though but the state of mind about WCF you described is something we should aspire to. As the saying goes 'Wear the world like a loose garment'.

[Night Rider]

CD, it's not necessarily always about winning or losing but when it's a title shot and you give it everything you have for it still not to be good enough yeah it's frustrating. But that's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay and keep doing what I do, only a little different. Expect some changes coming. I understand what you are saying and I agree with it, but still.

[Henry Spearman]

So admittedly I am probably not the guy you want to hear from right now but my take has always been to write strictly to tell your story. Feeding is simply a way to write creatively. The wrestling is kind of just my characters job. It is secondary to the story being told. Don't get me wrong, I hate to lose so I get what you're feeling but ultimately, wins and losses don't affect my story. It is the same regardless. So I think it's a matter of developing a story you want to tell and then use your character to tell it.

As for this week and the last I really thought it could have gone both ways. You had me biting my nails this week. I will say that people like to read interesting new stories and characters and right now Neforian is the interesting new story. That could have something to do with it. It's sort of a new guys advantage.

Hang in there. You will find your footing. Maybe sit down and outline a story. That's what I've done. Neforians current story is outlined into ten bits so I've basically got two plus months of roleplay ideas outlined. Makes it easier to write the story.

Keep trucking along

[Mikey eXtreme]

I like to win.

But honestly it doesn't matter to me. If I lose, I lose.

I've lost my share of titles and title shots here and it hurts. But, you gotta have fun writing and telling stories to balance everything.

[Gemini Battle]

Jun 6, 2016 13:38:57 GMT -5 Henry Spearman said:

So admittedly I am probably not the guy you want to hear from right now but my take has always been to write strictly to tell your story. Feeding is simply a way to write creatively. The wrestling is kind of just my characters job. It is secondary to the story being told. Don't get me wrong, I hate to lose so I get what you're feeling but ultimately, wins and losses don't affect my story. It is the same regardless. So I think it's a matter of developing a story you want to tell and then use your character to tell it.

As for this week and the last I really thought it could have gone both ways. You had me biting my nails this week. I will say that people like to read interesting new stories and characters and right now Neforian is the interesting new story. That could have something to do with it. It's sort of a new guys advantage.

Hang in there. You will find your footing. Maybe sit down and outline a story. That's what I've done. Neforians current story is outlined into ten bits so I've basically got two plus months of roleplay ideas outlined. Makes it easier to write the story.

Keep trucking along

Then get outta here narc!

Jk. I agree could have gone either way. For what it's worth this reall is the best stuff I've ever read from Night Rider. I'm afraid that maybe he has a bit of a negative connotation from your last run where you couldn't really go 100%

Your first run was great. The recent one was just ok. This one is amazing. Your best stuff so far for real.

That being said its important to have fun.

Even though he's a narc neforian does have a point. If wins and losses don't mean as much to your character then they will mean less to you personally. Maybe that's the trick.

[Henry Spearman]

Lmao I'm not a narc damnit

[Gemini Battle]

Jun 6, 2016 15:45:57 GMT -5 Henry Spearman said:

Lmao I'm not a narc damnit

That's precisely what a narc would say

(Honestly I'm joking if it bothers you I'll stop)

[Henry Spearman]

Hahaha nah doesn't bother me at all

[Teo Blaze]

I have always seen it as if I lose, then that means my opponent has won.

I always try to remember that there's always another match next week and that as long as I keep writing, I'll get a win eventually.

Of course it feels frustrating not to win a title shot, but I see it as a criticism, that is a message that I'm not ready to be a champion yet.

But I remind myself that nobody's perfect, that everyone can improve, and that eventually my time will come, but that I'll have to be around for it when it does.


Then I mail them and the judges a rabid ferret.

....what? I'm only human.

[Henry Spearman]

Jun 6, 2016 19:03:53 GMT -5 Teo Blaze said:

I have always seen it as if I lose, then that means my opponent has won.

Can't disagree with that...

[Teo Blaze]

Jun 6, 2016 19:17:59 GMT -5 Henry Spearman said:

Jun 6, 2016 19:03:53 GMT -5 Teo Blaze said:

I have always seen it as if I lose, then that means my opponent has won.

Can't disagree with that...

Indeed!

I did not lose to them, they beat me.

That puts it in perspective.