Post by Zombie DankMorris on Apr 13, 2016 20:23:28 GMT -5
RP 2
WCF- Slam!
Hardcore Title Match Cluster Fuck
___________________________
Chapter: Refuel and Refocus LOL
WCF- Slam!
Hardcore Title Match Cluster Fuck
___________________________
Chapter: Refuel and Refocus LOL
* The day had gone to night as ZMAC had Doug drive around town all day and well into the evening. This Uber fair was going to be fuckin Bawwse. Under the lights of a gas station, Doug kicks his foot back as he leans up against the Prius, refueling the tank. ZMACs still the in the back, tick-tacking on the BB6 but that is cut short by a phone call.
~ Incoming call: Jonah Worth ~
ZMAC picks up the call. *
ZMAC: Yo, you on the hawt box with ol’ Z. shoot it, J.
Jonah: ZMAC, its Jonah Worth. Hey man, I’m gonna have to ask you to take it easy with your shit talkin. You’re better than that. I mean, we’re getting flooded with complaints.
ZMAC: What, the whole- what- one complaint?
* Cut to Jonah at his desk with a view of his computer screen. The screen reads “ 1 New Message.” *
Jonah: That’s not the point. Its offensive and it just creates more work for me.
ZMAC: Mother fuck! That’s the point. I’m a coked up immortal psycho path that lives in a dumpster. What part of that is suppose to be family friendly? This is WCF! WE.KILL. BITCHES. UP.IN.HERE! This ain’t for nobody with no punk azz, weak azz constitution. Ol’ is about to butt fuck like 4 dudes, a coma patient and then lick Bonnie Blues sweet ass crack in the middle of the ring. That taint don’t even need to be clean. Ol’ Z gone lap it up like Peaches in heavy syrup.
Jonah: I know, I know. I’m just saying. Like, don’t say stuff like that?
ZMAC: Like how I’m going to give Bonnie Blue the best twenty minutes of her life outside of heaven? Grown man cant express his love for a woman by tossing her salad on live television? I’m sorry ( LOL fuck you, not sorry ) but when did that become a crime. SHUT UP! Don’t answer that.
* ZMAC thinks for a moment *
ZMAC: It what Scathe, pronounced Jay Omega being a fucking FGT, wasn’t it?
Jonah: For the last time, Scathe and Jay Omega aren’t the same person.
Zmac: I know, mother fucker! That’s the fucking joke! Did they not teach you comedy up there in T.V. land? ZMAC gotta done walk you through this shit?
Jonah: Well you don’t have to be a dick about it. I mean, Everyone else is taking it OK- except.
ZMAC: Except, who? Why does it always gotta go down like:
“ Yo, Z.. people be talkin shit about you. But I cant say who.”
Well I’ll tell you right now. You go tell them this… I AM THE INTERNET CHAMPION! IT’S WHAT I DO!
* ZMAC pulls away from the phone for a moment, realizing he has another call. *
~ Incoming Call: The plot ~
ZMAC: Yo, Jonah. I gotta let you go. I got another call.
Jonah: O’ really, who?
ZMAC: The fuckin plot, son.
~ click~
* ZMAC kicks the door at the base of his feet as Doug pokes his head it just in time to take a boot to the face through an open window. Doug recoils as his nose starts to swell. *
Doug: Damn it! Stop hitting me, I didn’t do nothing!
*Doug hunches down, trying to catch his breath in-between blood pockets welling up in his nose. *
ZMAC: Dude, I didn’t hit you that hard. Car all filled up?
Doug: Yah- Yah..
* Says Doug as he gets into the car and puts his seatbelt on. *
ZMAC: Of course it is. That was the plot callin’ me, tellin us to get the show on the road.
Doug: Who was the other guy?
ZMAC: Some jerk off from the FCC telling me about another jerkoff who still after all these years that I’ve been doin this cant handle my Super Sayian Swagger. Too fuckin hawt to handle and too cold to hold, Zombie McMorris just levels dudes all over- even punk bitches who aint even in my match. All it does is go to show you that this match isn’t about beating Kat Phoenix; it’s about beating me. This Anon Bullshit tells me what I already knew. Dudes who ain’t even about to get their skulls caved in are fearing for their lives. Anyone who says otherwise is fucking retarded. Zombie McMorris is gunning for his third hardcore title and his fifth double title reign and I’m the only mother fucker up in here with the shoot and the savvy and the Bonnie – Blue-Salad-Tossing skills to back it up. And hell, I ain’t even backing it up. This isn’t like backing up a moving van, fuck no. This is a full on frontal assault of everything these dudes hold dear. I’m crashing right through the living room and taking Slam by storm once again because ain’t no one got the Shoot or the creativity to whoop ol’ Z when he really - REALLY wants something and I – Ol’ Z- Want this for the fuckin LOLZ of it because me compared to them, there ain’t nothing to compare. Hey Barry Oak, was a great president right? PSH, yah right. Compared to who- You know what I’m sayin. There ain’t no reign up in here that any of these dudes can produce that can k-k-k-kum close what Zombie McMorris can do. Whats funny about it, too, Doug is that all these dudes have to fight and prove.
* ZMAC changes his voice to some nasally mockery of his opponents, collectively *
ZMAC: Duh, UM, heres what I bring to the ring because I’m hardcore and I’m the best and the world hasn’t seen anything like me. I’m sick and scary and have no fucks to give about human life.
* ZMAC changes his voice back. *
ZMAC: L-O-L. Its Zombie McMorris over all of them any fucking day of the week. They’re all fightin scraps while ZMAC got Bonnie Blues nekkid ass bent over the top rope, licking chocolate syrup from her spread ass cheeks. And that’s the sad fact about this. All these dudes up in here are going to lose to ZMAC straight up toung-a-lingus-ing Bonnies bleached time traveling asshole like it was a Ms. Freshly honey bun. So Shadowlove and Andre Holmes and Scathe or Scythe or who-ever can just get in a circle now and jerk it amongst themselves because Zombie McMorris has this shit on lock. That’s how you win a hardcore title match.
Stand in awe, gentleman, because that’s how you get things done. Ya’ll be jerkin yourselves off for nothing. Its all smoke and mirrors because ain’t none of you as hardcore as I’ve been in the past four months. Ain’t none of you as hardcore as I’ve been in the past year. Hell, apparently to some people in the Dub, my phone conversation with Jonah Worth is more hardcore than what half of you can even stomach, let alone fight against on Slam.
Doug, Do you Understand? These dudes got to get in the ring with me on Sunday and do horrible, unspeakable things to me. They’re going to have and bats and thumb tacks and ladders. They’re going to fight to see whose more hardcore than the other and yet Ol’ Z is right there, bumping a rail off Bonnie Blues tits. So lets go through again, shall we?
Scathe, Shadowlove, Holmes, Venge and Beaver. Excluding Kat Phoenix because shes a fuck tard and Bonnie Blue, because I’m going to stick 12 hard inches into her ribs through her slickness - are all going to fight, physically brutalize each other and for what? A title whose illustrious history includes the deaths of some of WCFs greatest talents? And a little wee-bo chair shot is just gotta up and erase that?
Fuck that. Fuck you. Fuck you all. Fuck all of them, Doug. That belt right there, that Hardcore strap is a glimpse into WCFs past. The proud past were dudes who kill each other for it. And now we got FGTs complaining over it.
* ZMAC changes his voice again. *
ZMAC: Guh, ZMAC, you’re too mean. You’re a jerk. You’re going to upset someones feelings
* Voice returns to normal. *
ZMAC: Good. Fucking, good, mother fucker! I’m the throwback of the throwback. I’m the living embodiment of what makes this company great and all these fucks get sick to their stomach because they know its true and because they don’t want to admit it to themselves. They don’t want to admit that they are a part of this or that I’m the best man for the job. Every little tidbit they throw out over the course of the next couple of days will only cement what I’m tell you, Doug. They will realize themselves and in that realization, their world will close in around them as I line them up for boot party after boot party after boot party- AFTER, I gobble up them Bonnie Blue Booty-O’s. YUM, YUM!
And what do they have to show for all this hard work and sacrifice – the week long over drawn statement of trying to be somebody and do something? I’ll tell you.
The reigning…
Defending ..
Dominating..
3 time
WCF Hardcore Champion…
* Doug blinks as if he’s been blinded by the sun*
Doug: Why is there a black man burned into my retinas?
ZMAC: Because Doug, THIS.IS.HOW.ZMAC.KILLS.IT. I tell it like it is even when people don’t want to hear it. It is an undeniable truth, much like I am the inescapable future. Three time champ, Doug. Believe that. Cuz its going to take these other cats a week to figure that shit out. A week of blustering and false bravado, like any of them have anything above me. The entire match is one giant contest of who can suck my dick better and let tell you right now Doug, Bonnie Blue is winning that shit.
They’re going to tell everyone that I’m washed up or can only hang on the I.T. division or down play the fact that I lost to KP the other month. Then it breaks down into a deep throating side show because then you gotta start talkin about how I’m a history maker, how I’m a legend, how I’m the very essence of WCF.
So how are they all planning to beat ol’ Z, ya know. Bunch of back handed compliments by hungry men against the only legend in this match.
* ZMAC returns to that nasal voice. *
ZMAC: Guh, but ZMAC, legends were made to be broken and you’re just a midcard jobber. AHUH, and this week I’m going to show the world why I belong being the hardcore champion.
* ZMAC breaks off that voice and golf claps to himself in the back seat. *
ZMAC: Right, Andre. You do you. L.O.L. Regale us in another thrilling “Fuck You” Series. Be an edgy, brooding fourth wall anti-hero like yours truly. Give the world something they’ve never seen before in the fact that they HAVE seen it before. Doug, like you mean to tell me that Andre Holmes is going from nowhere in the Dub to the the shining STAR in the WCF with a hardcore title match? I can check my sources again but like that don’t happen. ZMAC gets legit fag hate mail every week from dudes like you who think they got what it takes, until I bend them over like I’m going to do to Bonnie Blue on Sunday and scramble them ovaries like a sante fe omelet. I just haven’t hit ya punk azz hard enough yet. But don’t worry, I’m gonna it you. You ain’t no prom date. I’m going to gut wrench you from the top rope to the floor and let you wonder for a few minutes of that’s a rib snaking its way into your heart or just the growing distain for the simple fact that the Coked Up Mad Man just stole the fucking match from you to claim what is rightfully his.
And it IS rightfully mine.
You Shadowlove FGTs and Scathe, Jay Omega Wanna-Bes are just there for the window dressing. This match is what I said it is, a twenty minute sexcapade between me and Bonnie Blue till she cums so hard she passes out and I’m awarded my third hardcore title strap.
Oh, but I’m sorry. Them boys and such were tryin to convince ol’ Z oh something. What was it again?
Oh that’s right.
#START_SPEADIN_DA_NEWS
#START_SPREADIN_YA_CHEEKS
#BOOTY_TROMBONE_COWBOYHAT
Doug: Son of a bitch! Not again.
ZMAC: Sorry Doug, that’s part of the Internet Title beatdown. But this is the hardcore beatdown and these lame fucks ain’t hardcore enough for a sour Warhead candy, let alone step in the ring with ol’ Z. Sunday night, History will be made. And it won’t be theirs..
Doug: Right, I get it. Can I drive again? Can we go.
ZMAC: Yo, hold up one second. ZMAC gotta see if the boy is home.
* ZMAC takes out his phone as the camera zooms in on it.
~ Contact: Kaz Monstah~
DEUCES BITCH!
~ Incoming call: Jonah Worth ~
ZMAC picks up the call. *
ZMAC: Yo, you on the hawt box with ol’ Z. shoot it, J.
Jonah: ZMAC, its Jonah Worth. Hey man, I’m gonna have to ask you to take it easy with your shit talkin. You’re better than that. I mean, we’re getting flooded with complaints.
ZMAC: What, the whole- what- one complaint?
* Cut to Jonah at his desk with a view of his computer screen. The screen reads “ 1 New Message.” *
Jonah: That’s not the point. Its offensive and it just creates more work for me.
ZMAC: Mother fuck! That’s the point. I’m a coked up immortal psycho path that lives in a dumpster. What part of that is suppose to be family friendly? This is WCF! WE.KILL. BITCHES. UP.IN.HERE! This ain’t for nobody with no punk azz, weak azz constitution. Ol’ is about to butt fuck like 4 dudes, a coma patient and then lick Bonnie Blues sweet ass crack in the middle of the ring. That taint don’t even need to be clean. Ol’ Z gone lap it up like Peaches in heavy syrup.
Jonah: I know, I know. I’m just saying. Like, don’t say stuff like that?
ZMAC: Like how I’m going to give Bonnie Blue the best twenty minutes of her life outside of heaven? Grown man cant express his love for a woman by tossing her salad on live television? I’m sorry ( LOL fuck you, not sorry ) but when did that become a crime. SHUT UP! Don’t answer that.
* ZMAC thinks for a moment *
ZMAC: It what Scathe, pronounced Jay Omega being a fucking FGT, wasn’t it?
Jonah: For the last time, Scathe and Jay Omega aren’t the same person.
Zmac: I know, mother fucker! That’s the fucking joke! Did they not teach you comedy up there in T.V. land? ZMAC gotta done walk you through this shit?
Jonah: Well you don’t have to be a dick about it. I mean, Everyone else is taking it OK- except.
ZMAC: Except, who? Why does it always gotta go down like:
“ Yo, Z.. people be talkin shit about you. But I cant say who.”
Well I’ll tell you right now. You go tell them this… I AM THE INTERNET CHAMPION! IT’S WHAT I DO!
* ZMAC pulls away from the phone for a moment, realizing he has another call. *
~ Incoming Call: The plot ~
ZMAC: Yo, Jonah. I gotta let you go. I got another call.
Jonah: O’ really, who?
ZMAC: The fuckin plot, son.
~ click~
* ZMAC kicks the door at the base of his feet as Doug pokes his head it just in time to take a boot to the face through an open window. Doug recoils as his nose starts to swell. *
Doug: Damn it! Stop hitting me, I didn’t do nothing!
*Doug hunches down, trying to catch his breath in-between blood pockets welling up in his nose. *
ZMAC: Dude, I didn’t hit you that hard. Car all filled up?
Doug: Yah- Yah..
* Says Doug as he gets into the car and puts his seatbelt on. *
ZMAC: Of course it is. That was the plot callin’ me, tellin us to get the show on the road.
Doug: Who was the other guy?
ZMAC: Some jerk off from the FCC telling me about another jerkoff who still after all these years that I’ve been doin this cant handle my Super Sayian Swagger. Too fuckin hawt to handle and too cold to hold, Zombie McMorris just levels dudes all over- even punk bitches who aint even in my match. All it does is go to show you that this match isn’t about beating Kat Phoenix; it’s about beating me. This Anon Bullshit tells me what I already knew. Dudes who ain’t even about to get their skulls caved in are fearing for their lives. Anyone who says otherwise is fucking retarded. Zombie McMorris is gunning for his third hardcore title and his fifth double title reign and I’m the only mother fucker up in here with the shoot and the savvy and the Bonnie – Blue-Salad-Tossing skills to back it up. And hell, I ain’t even backing it up. This isn’t like backing up a moving van, fuck no. This is a full on frontal assault of everything these dudes hold dear. I’m crashing right through the living room and taking Slam by storm once again because ain’t no one got the Shoot or the creativity to whoop ol’ Z when he really - REALLY wants something and I – Ol’ Z- Want this for the fuckin LOLZ of it because me compared to them, there ain’t nothing to compare. Hey Barry Oak, was a great president right? PSH, yah right. Compared to who- You know what I’m sayin. There ain’t no reign up in here that any of these dudes can produce that can k-k-k-kum close what Zombie McMorris can do. Whats funny about it, too, Doug is that all these dudes have to fight and prove.
* ZMAC changes his voice to some nasally mockery of his opponents, collectively *
ZMAC: Duh, UM, heres what I bring to the ring because I’m hardcore and I’m the best and the world hasn’t seen anything like me. I’m sick and scary and have no fucks to give about human life.
* ZMAC changes his voice back. *
ZMAC: L-O-L. Its Zombie McMorris over all of them any fucking day of the week. They’re all fightin scraps while ZMAC got Bonnie Blues nekkid ass bent over the top rope, licking chocolate syrup from her spread ass cheeks. And that’s the sad fact about this. All these dudes up in here are going to lose to ZMAC straight up toung-a-lingus-ing Bonnies bleached time traveling asshole like it was a Ms. Freshly honey bun. So Shadowlove and Andre Holmes and Scathe or Scythe or who-ever can just get in a circle now and jerk it amongst themselves because Zombie McMorris has this shit on lock. That’s how you win a hardcore title match.
Stand in awe, gentleman, because that’s how you get things done. Ya’ll be jerkin yourselves off for nothing. Its all smoke and mirrors because ain’t none of you as hardcore as I’ve been in the past four months. Ain’t none of you as hardcore as I’ve been in the past year. Hell, apparently to some people in the Dub, my phone conversation with Jonah Worth is more hardcore than what half of you can even stomach, let alone fight against on Slam.
Doug, Do you Understand? These dudes got to get in the ring with me on Sunday and do horrible, unspeakable things to me. They’re going to have and bats and thumb tacks and ladders. They’re going to fight to see whose more hardcore than the other and yet Ol’ Z is right there, bumping a rail off Bonnie Blues tits. So lets go through again, shall we?
Scathe, Shadowlove, Holmes, Venge and Beaver. Excluding Kat Phoenix because shes a fuck tard and Bonnie Blue, because I’m going to stick 12 hard inches into her ribs through her slickness - are all going to fight, physically brutalize each other and for what? A title whose illustrious history includes the deaths of some of WCFs greatest talents? And a little wee-bo chair shot is just gotta up and erase that?
Fuck that. Fuck you. Fuck you all. Fuck all of them, Doug. That belt right there, that Hardcore strap is a glimpse into WCFs past. The proud past were dudes who kill each other for it. And now we got FGTs complaining over it.
* ZMAC changes his voice again. *
ZMAC: Guh, ZMAC, you’re too mean. You’re a jerk. You’re going to upset someones feelings
* Voice returns to normal. *
ZMAC: Good. Fucking, good, mother fucker! I’m the throwback of the throwback. I’m the living embodiment of what makes this company great and all these fucks get sick to their stomach because they know its true and because they don’t want to admit it to themselves. They don’t want to admit that they are a part of this or that I’m the best man for the job. Every little tidbit they throw out over the course of the next couple of days will only cement what I’m tell you, Doug. They will realize themselves and in that realization, their world will close in around them as I line them up for boot party after boot party after boot party- AFTER, I gobble up them Bonnie Blue Booty-O’s. YUM, YUM!
And what do they have to show for all this hard work and sacrifice – the week long over drawn statement of trying to be somebody and do something? I’ll tell you.
The reigning…
Defending ..
Dominating..
3 time
WCF Hardcore Champion…
* Doug blinks as if he’s been blinded by the sun*
Doug: Why is there a black man burned into my retinas?
ZMAC: Because Doug, THIS.IS.HOW.ZMAC.KILLS.IT. I tell it like it is even when people don’t want to hear it. It is an undeniable truth, much like I am the inescapable future. Three time champ, Doug. Believe that. Cuz its going to take these other cats a week to figure that shit out. A week of blustering and false bravado, like any of them have anything above me. The entire match is one giant contest of who can suck my dick better and let tell you right now Doug, Bonnie Blue is winning that shit.
They’re going to tell everyone that I’m washed up or can only hang on the I.T. division or down play the fact that I lost to KP the other month. Then it breaks down into a deep throating side show because then you gotta start talkin about how I’m a history maker, how I’m a legend, how I’m the very essence of WCF.
So how are they all planning to beat ol’ Z, ya know. Bunch of back handed compliments by hungry men against the only legend in this match.
* ZMAC returns to that nasal voice. *
ZMAC: Guh, but ZMAC, legends were made to be broken and you’re just a midcard jobber. AHUH, and this week I’m going to show the world why I belong being the hardcore champion.
* ZMAC breaks off that voice and golf claps to himself in the back seat. *
ZMAC: Right, Andre. You do you. L.O.L. Regale us in another thrilling “Fuck You” Series. Be an edgy, brooding fourth wall anti-hero like yours truly. Give the world something they’ve never seen before in the fact that they HAVE seen it before. Doug, like you mean to tell me that Andre Holmes is going from nowhere in the Dub to the the shining STAR in the WCF with a hardcore title match? I can check my sources again but like that don’t happen. ZMAC gets legit fag hate mail every week from dudes like you who think they got what it takes, until I bend them over like I’m going to do to Bonnie Blue on Sunday and scramble them ovaries like a sante fe omelet. I just haven’t hit ya punk azz hard enough yet. But don’t worry, I’m gonna it you. You ain’t no prom date. I’m going to gut wrench you from the top rope to the floor and let you wonder for a few minutes of that’s a rib snaking its way into your heart or just the growing distain for the simple fact that the Coked Up Mad Man just stole the fucking match from you to claim what is rightfully his.
And it IS rightfully mine.
You Shadowlove FGTs and Scathe, Jay Omega Wanna-Bes are just there for the window dressing. This match is what I said it is, a twenty minute sexcapade between me and Bonnie Blue till she cums so hard she passes out and I’m awarded my third hardcore title strap.
Oh, but I’m sorry. Them boys and such were tryin to convince ol’ Z oh something. What was it again?
Oh that’s right.
#START_SPEADIN_DA_NEWS
#START_SPREADIN_YA_CHEEKS
#BOOTY_TROMBONE_COWBOYHAT
Doug: Son of a bitch! Not again.
ZMAC: Sorry Doug, that’s part of the Internet Title beatdown. But this is the hardcore beatdown and these lame fucks ain’t hardcore enough for a sour Warhead candy, let alone step in the ring with ol’ Z. Sunday night, History will be made. And it won’t be theirs..
Doug: Right, I get it. Can I drive again? Can we go.
ZMAC: Yo, hold up one second. ZMAC gotta see if the boy is home.
* ZMAC takes out his phone as the camera zooms in on it.
~ Contact: Kaz Monstah~
DEUCES BITCH!
