Post by Zombie DankMorris on Apr 12, 2016 20:54:23 GMT -5
RP 1
WCF- Slam!
HORROR KORE TITLE MATCH
Fatal 8 way
_______________________________
Chapter I: Doug and the Prius
Ight, so like, here I am chillin in a back of an Uber as Doug is driving me around in and out of afternoon traffic. Damn, this shit is comfy- who knew a Prius had leg room? Fuck that LOL, cuz it don’t. Still, got ample room for these legs. Them Doc Martins, they bee screamin’ , yo’. Tick- tack all up on that Black Berry. I mean like, how do you think ZMAC buries fools on Twitter; that and the public library. Shit is kinda crazy. Theres two men who are suspiciously curious about that drip drop baby that sprang from my thick. Wait.. hold up. Lets check the WZF website. See whats cookin up on there. BB6 ( an homage to Iceberg 6), hook a brotha up
.. .
..
* We zoom in on ZMACs Black Berry as he scrolls through the Internet and connects to WCFs fan website. *
wcfwrestling.proboards.com/slam card.
ZMAC: Da Fuq is this shit? Whats this shit? Scathe? Pronounced Sytche, pronounced LOL Jay Omega fail? What did this punk azz jibbah jobbah do to get himself a hardcore title match?
* ZMAC mutters off and finishes reading the card. *
ZMAC: Yo, Doug. Hang a left here.
Doug: But that’s not the right way.
ZMAC: Doug, you have two men, two clones on your tail with intent to kill, following you. They do not care who you are. Now, Honey Badger don’t give a shit but like… ZMACs gotta shoot on a bitch up in here.
Doug: What does that even mean?
ZMAC: Its an industry term.
Doug: Oh, good. Because for a moment I thought you had a gun.
ZMAC: I do, but that’s not the point.
* Doug turns around in a panic *
Doug: You what!?
ZMAC: Doug, are you familiar with my line of work?
Doug: Yah you’re that guy from Game of Thrones, right?
ZMAC: Doug, I swear to God. Now is not the time.
Its astounding. Time is fleeting ( coked up) Maddness, takes it toll. But listen closely.. not for very much longer.. I’ve got to … keep control… … Now its just a jump to the left.. then a step to the right.. Then you put cha hands on ya hips, ya bring ya knees in tight.. /plevisthrust..
Listen up Bonnie Blue and Jay Omega, you fuckin poser bitches… BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO SKIP TIME.
( SEETTHH, THAT’S A SET UP FOR A FLASH BACK BB-DUBS)
[ #/DOIN_THE_TIME_WARP
* Back before Doug even showed up on the scene, we left our intrepid anti-hero at the gas station. Vulgar goings-ons were a foot as the two men in suits approached ZMAC outside of the Sip&GO gas station. So lets time warp our selfs back to that point
Agent 16: Mr. McMorris. Do you know where your son it?
ZMAC: I don’t have a son.
Agent 27: We have it on good authority that you do.
ZMAC: You fellas think I’m payin child support; I live a dumpster. If you lookin for that shit, go grab Maury, we doin dat shit LIVE!
* Agents 16 and 27 look at each other then back at ZMAC.*
Agents (in unison ): We’re sorry. We must be mistaken.
* ZMAC pushes past them and marches back up the hill towards his dumpster. He gets about fifty yards away, looks back and the two men are gone No car, no truck, not even a pegged up Huffy. Just up and Vanished, like a former world champion after WAR. Like a jobbah in the wind. ZMAC had a sneaking suspicion, however. These two men wanted something and were definitely of the shadow government ilk. And with those kinds of dudes, they don’t knock twice. ZMAC huffed it back up to the TJ Maxx and dove into his dumpster. He pulls out his leather jacket with some other items wrapped in it and tucks them under his arm. That’s when he takes out his phone calls for the Uber cab. That’s when Doug shows up in the Prius. Doug, with 40K in student debt and a liberal arts degree in spiritual reawaken with a minor in jazz-tap. Doug listenin to Cold Play. Doug is whats wrong with this country. That and Burgerk King serving hotdogs. The Uber gets there within fifteen minutes. Doug kindly greets ZMAC who just hands him a slip of paper. Doug reads it to himself. ZMAC lets himself in the back seat and stretches out. ]
* Back in present time Doug is white knuckling the steering wheel as “ Clocks” by Cold Play comes over the blue tooth Pandora.
ZMAC groans in frustration *
ZMAC: You’re really starting to piss me off. Trust me, dude. You don’t want to die while listening to Coldplay.
Doug: What? Why am I going to die? What do those guys want with you?
ZMAC: Either my living gay son or my dead gay son- I cant be bothered with much more exposition than that. Shee-it.
* Doug adjusts his mirror and checks to find that no one is following him. *
Doug: But they aren’t..
BLAM!
* The back window gets shot out as Doug slams on the breaks.*
Doug: FUCKING HELL!
ZMAC: I told you.
* A black SUV rams the Prius as Doug gets his shit together and punches it. The Prius takes off weaving in and out of traffic as ZMAC takes out two large pistols from his bundled up jacket and sets up to return fire. The solid gold desert eagles glisten in the sunlight. Both are inscribe with the words “ The All Father” on them; a stolen token from the Poonguinea incident a few years ago. Balfore has been missing them since.
Blahm. Blham..
The shots ring out and explode upon contact with the ground, but the black SUV manages to swerve before disappearing into traffic. The prius has lost its pursuer. ZMAC settles back down as Doug keeps driving. ZMAC takes his BB6 back out continues to look through the card. **
ZMAC: So, Doug, do you really know who I am?
Doug: You’re that guy, Zombie or something. A wrestler, I think.
ZMAC: Ight, cool. So I’mma read you a couple of name. You tell me who you think is going to eat the pin.
Doug: - I –I - I have no idea what that means.
* ZMAC continues anyway *
ZMAC: Holmes, Beaver, Vengence, Blue, Scathe, Pheonix.. Shadowlove.
Doug: I don’t know.. Shadowlove.. maybe? I think?
* ZMAC nods his head in agreement *
ZMAC: My nigguh. Me too.
Doug: But isn’t all that fake?
* ZMAC cocks his leg back and boots Doug in the temple, causing his head to smash into the window and slicing it open. *
ZMAC: Was that fake? Doctor Death sends his regards.
Doug: wh-who?
* Doug gets kicked again. *
Doug:Ugh! I- I’ll just stop asking stupid questions.
ZMAC: Yah, fool. Stupid ass questions. Questions like whose winning that HORROR KORE title match. We all know Scathe wishes he re rolled his shit and ran with that Jay Omega trip. Thinking that hes gonna k-k-k-k-kum up in a Dub and trounce motha fuckahs. Well that ain’t happenin’ this week, son. That shit aint happening- EVAH! But this ain’t gone be a fuck you to Scathe. No…
* ZMAC thumbs through the fan site and sees the transcript of the Andre Holms promo *
ZMAC: HAHAHAHA Hey, CD.. Dude, lazy match shoot. Nah, more like ol’ Z curb stompin Andre Holms for being a fuccboi.
* ZMAC browses transcript. *
ZMAC: Holms, my dude.. You gone walk up into a HORROR KORE title match and try to preach how hardcore you are?
* ZMAC starts motioning his hand to accent the words. *
ZMAC: How eva hardcore you think you are.. you aint. Cuz whatever ‘ LOLfuckyou” Promo you think you’re tryin to pull or going to pull - that shit can stop right the fuck here. Cuz this shit is the meta. I am the Meta. I’m the smash mouth fourth wall breakin mother fucker up in here and let me tell you that no matter how many times you’ve been set on fire, its not as much as me. No matter how many barb wire bats you took to the face, I still trump you. Just do that time warp dance all the way a couple of months to when Ol’ Z won the strap off Cairo. Shameless volcano match, plug. So all that hardcore talk, bullshit- that shit stops right there. People die in the WZF, Holms. Fuckin death. You ain’t ready for nothing going on up in here. Don’t let that Kat Pheonix bullshit get you fooled or lull’d into a false sense of:
“ Jared Holmes got this shit.” Cuz as long as Honey Badger lives, breaths, dies, and lives and breaths again… that HARROR KORE STRAP isn’t safe. None of you are safe. Although I bet ya’ll gone be like:
“ BUT ol’ Z.. you done lost to KP in the first damn place.”
Wait.. hold on.. I got a MEME for that.
Yo, check it. Cuz I could play this game the way ya’ll play it-> but that ain’t the Honey Badgers flavah brand o’ cheddah. What that loss was, wuz ZMAC settin’ himself up for a third title reign. For yet again another DOUBLE championship distinction. But ya’ll gone kk-kum hard up in here, break you off a piece? A piece of what? -> huble fuckin’ pie. That’s what.
Beavs and Venge, normally you guys are my boys when its just us, but yo, STR8 up… Honey Badger here to kill it this week. The Coked Up Mad Man as the opportunity -> nay-> the fucking silver platter to score yet another double title run. My third in a year. My third HORROR KORE title in a in a year. So you bois are just in ol’ Z’s way. And just because I got a partial to a partial for a couple of you- don’t mean I ain’t going to wax you like anyone else. Like, come on -> what kind of Chaotic Neutral would I be if’n, IF I didn’t smash ya skulls in for my own personal gain. Venge, you been up in the Dub long enough to know how this works. You know that when ya’ll step in the ring with ol’ Z when e wants something.. it’s a done fuckin deal. Ain’t no one walkin away with nothing but a boot party and a curb stomp. Oh, and Bonnie Blue gone get knocked up.
Truth.
Oh, Bonnie, baby.. sweetheart. We all know you been wantin the THICK. And that’s cool, baby. But we won’t make this a sexist thang. You’re one of the better, competitors in this match and I’m sure you and Rebel.. whatever want some more gold. I get chu. I know how that goes but lets just be honest with ourself Bonnie. You’re going to throw up some promo. We’re going to think its shit. But you tried. And yah, it might be cool. Like it might be well put together but baby, this is ZMAC throwin hawt fire in the back of a Prius..
And you don’t fuck with ZMAC throwin’ hawt fire in the back of a Prius. Yo, BB, you ever get fucked in the back of a Prius…
LOLZ
Cuz you just did. Where you think you goin this week. That’s what Ol’ Z is sayin. You exist in this match so that Shadow love thinks that he doesn’t have the distinct honor of being the guy to take the pin. But newsflash.. He is. Just know that you arnt far behind him in that department. And don’t take that as a shitty promo thing. Take it as I just want to rub up against your tits after I school boy you’re a slip a digit somewhere good. On second thought, you better pray that I pin you think week. It’d be the first bit o’ satisfaction that you’ve had all year.
Honey Badger gonna get whats his. He gonna get it the only way he knows how. By wreckin all ya’ll mother fuckers square up and toe up in the middle of that fuckin ring that you all think you dominant.. and yet..
* ZMAC pulls out his Internet Title and holds it up *
ZMAC: Its what I fuckin do… Do you know what else I do? Be a HORROR KORE fuckin beast -> like none of you can even dream to be. But ya’ll can keep dreamin’ While ya nappin, ZMAC is busy dusting FGTs the same way I’ve done for my entire career. Ya’ll just startin’ yours. But unlike yu, every step I take and every belt that I make -> is fucking legendary.
DEUCES BITCH!!
WCF- Slam!
HORROR KORE TITLE MATCH
Fatal 8 way
_______________________________
Chapter I: Doug and the Prius
Ight, so like, here I am chillin in a back of an Uber as Doug is driving me around in and out of afternoon traffic. Damn, this shit is comfy- who knew a Prius had leg room? Fuck that LOL, cuz it don’t. Still, got ample room for these legs. Them Doc Martins, they bee screamin’ , yo’. Tick- tack all up on that Black Berry. I mean like, how do you think ZMAC buries fools on Twitter; that and the public library. Shit is kinda crazy. Theres two men who are suspiciously curious about that drip drop baby that sprang from my thick. Wait.. hold up. Lets check the WZF website. See whats cookin up on there. BB6 ( an homage to Iceberg 6), hook a brotha up
.. .
..
* We zoom in on ZMACs Black Berry as he scrolls through the Internet and connects to WCFs fan website. *
wcfwrestling.proboards.com/slam card.
ZMAC: Da Fuq is this shit? Whats this shit? Scathe? Pronounced Sytche, pronounced LOL Jay Omega fail? What did this punk azz jibbah jobbah do to get himself a hardcore title match?
* ZMAC mutters off and finishes reading the card. *
ZMAC: Yo, Doug. Hang a left here.
Doug: But that’s not the right way.
ZMAC: Doug, you have two men, two clones on your tail with intent to kill, following you. They do not care who you are. Now, Honey Badger don’t give a shit but like… ZMACs gotta shoot on a bitch up in here.
Doug: What does that even mean?
ZMAC: Its an industry term.
Doug: Oh, good. Because for a moment I thought you had a gun.
ZMAC: I do, but that’s not the point.
* Doug turns around in a panic *
Doug: You what!?
ZMAC: Doug, are you familiar with my line of work?
Doug: Yah you’re that guy from Game of Thrones, right?
ZMAC: Doug, I swear to God. Now is not the time.
Its astounding. Time is fleeting ( coked up) Maddness, takes it toll. But listen closely.. not for very much longer.. I’ve got to … keep control… … Now its just a jump to the left.. then a step to the right.. Then you put cha hands on ya hips, ya bring ya knees in tight.. /plevisthrust..
Listen up Bonnie Blue and Jay Omega, you fuckin poser bitches… BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO SKIP TIME.
( SEETTHH, THAT’S A SET UP FOR A FLASH BACK BB-DUBS)
[ #/DOIN_THE_TIME_WARP
* Back before Doug even showed up on the scene, we left our intrepid anti-hero at the gas station. Vulgar goings-ons were a foot as the two men in suits approached ZMAC outside of the Sip&GO gas station. So lets time warp our selfs back to that point
Agent 16: Mr. McMorris. Do you know where your son it?
ZMAC: I don’t have a son.
Agent 27: We have it on good authority that you do.
ZMAC: You fellas think I’m payin child support; I live a dumpster. If you lookin for that shit, go grab Maury, we doin dat shit LIVE!
* Agents 16 and 27 look at each other then back at ZMAC.*
Agents (in unison ): We’re sorry. We must be mistaken.
* ZMAC pushes past them and marches back up the hill towards his dumpster. He gets about fifty yards away, looks back and the two men are gone No car, no truck, not even a pegged up Huffy. Just up and Vanished, like a former world champion after WAR. Like a jobbah in the wind. ZMAC had a sneaking suspicion, however. These two men wanted something and were definitely of the shadow government ilk. And with those kinds of dudes, they don’t knock twice. ZMAC huffed it back up to the TJ Maxx and dove into his dumpster. He pulls out his leather jacket with some other items wrapped in it and tucks them under his arm. That’s when he takes out his phone calls for the Uber cab. That’s when Doug shows up in the Prius. Doug, with 40K in student debt and a liberal arts degree in spiritual reawaken with a minor in jazz-tap. Doug listenin to Cold Play. Doug is whats wrong with this country. That and Burgerk King serving hotdogs. The Uber gets there within fifteen minutes. Doug kindly greets ZMAC who just hands him a slip of paper. Doug reads it to himself. ZMAC lets himself in the back seat and stretches out. ]
* Back in present time Doug is white knuckling the steering wheel as “ Clocks” by Cold Play comes over the blue tooth Pandora.
ZMAC groans in frustration *
ZMAC: You’re really starting to piss me off. Trust me, dude. You don’t want to die while listening to Coldplay.
Doug: What? Why am I going to die? What do those guys want with you?
ZMAC: Either my living gay son or my dead gay son- I cant be bothered with much more exposition than that. Shee-it.
* Doug adjusts his mirror and checks to find that no one is following him. *
Doug: But they aren’t..
BLAM!
* The back window gets shot out as Doug slams on the breaks.*
Doug: FUCKING HELL!
ZMAC: I told you.
* A black SUV rams the Prius as Doug gets his shit together and punches it. The Prius takes off weaving in and out of traffic as ZMAC takes out two large pistols from his bundled up jacket and sets up to return fire. The solid gold desert eagles glisten in the sunlight. Both are inscribe with the words “ The All Father” on them; a stolen token from the Poonguinea incident a few years ago. Balfore has been missing them since.
Blahm. Blham..
The shots ring out and explode upon contact with the ground, but the black SUV manages to swerve before disappearing into traffic. The prius has lost its pursuer. ZMAC settles back down as Doug keeps driving. ZMAC takes his BB6 back out continues to look through the card. **
ZMAC: So, Doug, do you really know who I am?
Doug: You’re that guy, Zombie or something. A wrestler, I think.
ZMAC: Ight, cool. So I’mma read you a couple of name. You tell me who you think is going to eat the pin.
Doug: - I –I - I have no idea what that means.
* ZMAC continues anyway *
ZMAC: Holmes, Beaver, Vengence, Blue, Scathe, Pheonix.. Shadowlove.
Doug: I don’t know.. Shadowlove.. maybe? I think?
* ZMAC nods his head in agreement *
ZMAC: My nigguh. Me too.
Doug: But isn’t all that fake?
* ZMAC cocks his leg back and boots Doug in the temple, causing his head to smash into the window and slicing it open. *
ZMAC: Was that fake? Doctor Death sends his regards.
Doug: wh-who?
* Doug gets kicked again. *
Doug:Ugh! I- I’ll just stop asking stupid questions.
ZMAC: Yah, fool. Stupid ass questions. Questions like whose winning that HORROR KORE title match. We all know Scathe wishes he re rolled his shit and ran with that Jay Omega trip. Thinking that hes gonna k-k-k-k-kum up in a Dub and trounce motha fuckahs. Well that ain’t happenin’ this week, son. That shit aint happening- EVAH! But this ain’t gone be a fuck you to Scathe. No…
* ZMAC thumbs through the fan site and sees the transcript of the Andre Holms promo *
ZMAC: HAHAHAHA Hey, CD.. Dude, lazy match shoot. Nah, more like ol’ Z curb stompin Andre Holms for being a fuccboi.
* ZMAC browses transcript. *
ZMAC: Holms, my dude.. You gone walk up into a HORROR KORE title match and try to preach how hardcore you are?
* ZMAC starts motioning his hand to accent the words. *
ZMAC: How eva hardcore you think you are.. you aint. Cuz whatever ‘ LOLfuckyou” Promo you think you’re tryin to pull or going to pull - that shit can stop right the fuck here. Cuz this shit is the meta. I am the Meta. I’m the smash mouth fourth wall breakin mother fucker up in here and let me tell you that no matter how many times you’ve been set on fire, its not as much as me. No matter how many barb wire bats you took to the face, I still trump you. Just do that time warp dance all the way a couple of months to when Ol’ Z won the strap off Cairo. Shameless volcano match, plug. So all that hardcore talk, bullshit- that shit stops right there. People die in the WZF, Holms. Fuckin death. You ain’t ready for nothing going on up in here. Don’t let that Kat Pheonix bullshit get you fooled or lull’d into a false sense of:
“ Jared Holmes got this shit.” Cuz as long as Honey Badger lives, breaths, dies, and lives and breaths again… that HARROR KORE STRAP isn’t safe. None of you are safe. Although I bet ya’ll gone be like:
“ BUT ol’ Z.. you done lost to KP in the first damn place.”
Wait.. hold on.. I got a MEME for that.
Yo, check it. Cuz I could play this game the way ya’ll play it-> but that ain’t the Honey Badgers flavah brand o’ cheddah. What that loss was, wuz ZMAC settin’ himself up for a third title reign. For yet again another DOUBLE championship distinction. But ya’ll gone kk-kum hard up in here, break you off a piece? A piece of what? -> huble fuckin’ pie. That’s what.
Beavs and Venge, normally you guys are my boys when its just us, but yo, STR8 up… Honey Badger here to kill it this week. The Coked Up Mad Man as the opportunity -> nay-> the fucking silver platter to score yet another double title run. My third in a year. My third HORROR KORE title in a in a year. So you bois are just in ol’ Z’s way. And just because I got a partial to a partial for a couple of you- don’t mean I ain’t going to wax you like anyone else. Like, come on -> what kind of Chaotic Neutral would I be if’n, IF I didn’t smash ya skulls in for my own personal gain. Venge, you been up in the Dub long enough to know how this works. You know that when ya’ll step in the ring with ol’ Z when e wants something.. it’s a done fuckin deal. Ain’t no one walkin away with nothing but a boot party and a curb stomp. Oh, and Bonnie Blue gone get knocked up.
Truth.
Oh, Bonnie, baby.. sweetheart. We all know you been wantin the THICK. And that’s cool, baby. But we won’t make this a sexist thang. You’re one of the better, competitors in this match and I’m sure you and Rebel.. whatever want some more gold. I get chu. I know how that goes but lets just be honest with ourself Bonnie. You’re going to throw up some promo. We’re going to think its shit. But you tried. And yah, it might be cool. Like it might be well put together but baby, this is ZMAC throwin hawt fire in the back of a Prius..
And you don’t fuck with ZMAC throwin’ hawt fire in the back of a Prius. Yo, BB, you ever get fucked in the back of a Prius…
LOLZ
Cuz you just did. Where you think you goin this week. That’s what Ol’ Z is sayin. You exist in this match so that Shadow love thinks that he doesn’t have the distinct honor of being the guy to take the pin. But newsflash.. He is. Just know that you arnt far behind him in that department. And don’t take that as a shitty promo thing. Take it as I just want to rub up against your tits after I school boy you’re a slip a digit somewhere good. On second thought, you better pray that I pin you think week. It’d be the first bit o’ satisfaction that you’ve had all year.
Honey Badger gonna get whats his. He gonna get it the only way he knows how. By wreckin all ya’ll mother fuckers square up and toe up in the middle of that fuckin ring that you all think you dominant.. and yet..
* ZMAC pulls out his Internet Title and holds it up *
ZMAC: Its what I fuckin do… Do you know what else I do? Be a HORROR KORE fuckin beast -> like none of you can even dream to be. But ya’ll can keep dreamin’ While ya nappin, ZMAC is busy dusting FGTs the same way I’ve done for my entire career. Ya’ll just startin’ yours. But unlike yu, every step I take and every belt that I make -> is fucking legendary.
DEUCES BITCH!!
