In For a Penny, In For a Pound
Apr 6, 2016 14:44:21 GMT -5
Oblivion, Steve Orbit, and 9 more like this
Post by The Polar Phantasm on Apr 6, 2016 14:44:21 GMT -5
[Scene: New Antarctica (Las Vegas), Nevada. We see an impeccably maintained suburban strip of McMansions, complete with manicured lawns (yes, in the desert) and four-car garages. Winding through this desperate housewife's nightmare, we notice one particular street; a cul-de-sac, in fact, ending at two very different houses. One mansion, ornate and garish, stands behind a set of massive iron gates initialed 'WN'; the other, beautiful though understated, has a sparse front lawn consisting mostly of a rock garden with a sign sticking up from it reading 'NEW ANTARCTICA'. The former home is that of the Unstable Elements' wacky-sitcom neighbor, Mr. Vegas himself Wayne Newton... oh, the stories he could tell you about the hell that is life with Polar and Nightmare as his neighbors. He would not be exaggerating, though he would be poking good-natured fun at his stressful fence-mates. He learned not to cross professional wrestlers the hard way once upon a time... a lesson taught to him by WCF great Jonny Fly with all the tact of a body cavity search (and about as much uncomfortability as one, too*). I digress; as fascinating as Mr. Newton's history may be, it is of public record... our mission here today is to reveal the private record of those lurking next door. New Antarctica itself has of course been rebuilt**; once more, the house stands proudly against the suburban blandness around it and...well, sticks out like a sore thumb. The house is a bright white, almost daring one to look at it in the reflection of the midday desert sun; otherwise, the front of the house is trimmed in blue including a deep blue front door. We follow a path down one side of the house, through a set of wrought iron gates; beside us, we see a hedgerow running at about waist height up against the house. Lying against this hedge, we briefly notice a piece of sign that once graced the front yard in this home's heyday... it reads simply 'PANTHEON WEST COAST HEADQUARTERS'. Past the hedge we go, into an expansive backyard... obviously the swimming pool grasps one's attention immediately, as clear blue pools of water are damned unnatural in a desert. But past that, we see a lush garden full of herbs and root vegetables; beside the garden and about fifteen feet from the pool, we see a rather large outdoor kitchen setup. Amongst the tall plants lining the property, amongst the kid's toys strewn haphazardly about the lawn, amongst the skirt steaks sizzling succulently on a built-in propane grill... amongst this portrait of bland modern suburbia, we see two unusual ladies and one special little man of roughly three years' age. Young Jeffrey Bankston swims happily in the pool, floaties strapped to both his arms and legs as if he was an armored knight. The orange of the dollar-store flotation devices contrasts the plain white trunks he wears... you know, let's just address this now. This kid? This kid is gonna grow up to be pretty weird. I'm calling it early. Near the pool where young Jeffy swims we see a red-haired woman in an oversized (and soaked) Acid Bath t-shirt, two-piece swimsuit poking through its fabric just enough to let one know it's there... she finishes off a glass of wine in a gulp as she closes the grill, leaving the meat to sizzle. The other woman, a young Asian girl in a tennis visor and green one-piece swimsuit, sits in a lounge chair drinking a margarita. Her name- the pretty Chinese girl, anyway- is Angela Chen, and she's a guest of honor... after all, she's practically family, all things considered, and she's making her first visit to New (New) Antarctica. Her host, of course, is Crystal Bankston... known to wrestling fans (among other odd groups of society) as Nightmare. We watch as Nightmare sits down, kicking up her fuzzy bat slipper covered feet onto a glass-top patio table. With a giggle, Angela also kicks her bare feet up and finishes her margarita. Crystal reaches over and picks up a remote, pressing a button... speakers we can't see come to life, and suddenly the backyard is awash in A Flock of Seagulls.]
(* ...way, way back in Jonny Fly's 'Fly and Polar Walk Into a Bar, Pt 2' circa April 2012)
(**the Unstable Elements' home was irreparably destroyed by an arsonist revealed to be Polar's longtime nemesis Nathan von Liebert back in 2013. -B)
Nightmare: Fuckin' a, Space Age Love Song! I haven't heard this in... gods, a couple years maybe?
Angela: Never was a big New Wave fan.
Nightmare: No?
Angela: Before my time, I guess.
Nightmare: Uh... how old do you think I am? Seriously.
[Crystal focuses her gaze as if challenging Angela, but smiles as she does.]
Angela: ...alright, alright. Point taken. Maybe I just never gave it a proper go.
Nightmare: Not even Talking Heads? Come on. For shame. 'Remain In Light'? Nobody with a soul can hate that album.
[She begins digging into a handbag; Nightmare produces a joint and happily plugs it into her mouth with a sigh.]
Nightmare: Or 'Stop Making Sense'! Holy shit, that record... you know, I think I have it around here somewhere.
[Angela suddenly seems out of place as Crystal sparks the left-handed cigarette within a stone's throw of her child.]
Nightmare: You burn?
Angela: Oh, no. You sure you should-
[Angela glances over at Jeff, happily paddling about and pretending to bash the sides of the swimming pool with his 'gauntlets'.]
Nightmare: -yes. Yes, I should. We're taking care of dinner for the boys... my son is splashing his ass off and not crying for me... this is absolutely the time to take care of Mommy.
[She takes a drag and holds it in, choking out the next sentence.]
Nightmare (choking): Yeah, that's way more like it. I guess I should've given you fair warning, I just figured... what with you being with Cornelius and all-
[Angela laughs, shaking her head.]
Angela: Yeah, a girl could get a contact high just from kissing the boy. That much I know.
[They both laugh as Angela continues.]
Angela: Ate a brownie once. It made me sick.
Nightmare: Were you drunk?
Angela: Kinda-
Nightmare: Yeah, probably not the best time to introduce your stomach to the wonders of digesting marijuana.
[From the pool, shouts come with an enthusiasm only crackheads and three-year-olds can produce.]
Jeffy: Mommy, mommy, look! Mommy, watch!
[Nightmare turns and watches as Jeffrey Bankston discovers the joy of water displacement; he has taken off one of his floaties, now, and tries hopelessly to sink it.]
Nightmare: You're getting it now, Jeff. That's how you're floating and not sinking- those don't sink.
[As if proving his mother wrong, young Jeffrey clasps the floatie between his feet and hides it beneath the surface of the water. This causes him to flip head over heels, getting water in his nose. Nightmare and Angela both hold back their laughter at first, until 'Kid P' pokes his head up from beneath the water and discharge the water with an angry snort.]
Jeffy: That floatie tricked me!
[That bursts the dam, and out flows roaring laughter from the girls. Angela gets up to get another margarita; as she comes back out through the sliding patio door, she notices Nightmare staring off into space.]
Angela: That stuff already got ya?
[Nightmare chortles as if insulted.]
Nightmare: Bitch, please. Nah, I was just wondering what they're up to downstairs.
Angela: I'm gonna guess... sweating, probably beating each other up. Get ready for a night of playing nursemaid-
[Nightmare laughs sharply.]
Nightmare: Oh, not even close. Something about that man, bloodied and bruised up... mmm. Shit, I have a hard enough time keeping it together these days... I mean, Christ, he's never been in this good of shape. And he's plotting things again, researching future opponents, sparring...
Angela: Up to his old tricks.
[Nightmare interrupts her drag to respond.]
Nightmare: Yeah, that settles it. I hope you two sleep soundly and I hope Jeffy's night-time Benadryl doesn't come back up on him, because so help me I am fucking that man within an inch of his life tonight!
[She triumphantly pounds her fist on the patio table, causing her purse and Angela's margarita to jump an inch or so. She cackles madly and drops the joint.]
Angela: So you're not upset at all that your husband's about to go back to work without you?
Nightmare: Oh, I wouldn't say that... of course I want to go. Of course. But if we both went, we'd have to bring Jeff.
Angela: Not a great environment for raising children.
Nightmare: What, WCF? Jesus. Remind me someday to tell you about being kidnapped and brainwashed by Oblivion and Nathan von Liebert*... that'll tell you all you need to know about my desire to bring my son around ringside.
(* - Nightmare was kidnapped right after the events of Unstable Elements #10, leading to her kidnappers forming the group Monsters Inc. An early event in the life of the Pantheon, circa May 2012 through the rest of the year. -B.)
Angela: Yeah, I can see how you'd say that- I've just had the one 'wrestling experience' and it left me wondering for my own safety, much less wondering what I'd do if I had a child with me...
[Nightmare excitedly squeals as she hits the joint; it makes a funny noise and an even funnier plume of smoke.]
Nightmare (choking): Oh, yeah- Cornelius said he took you down to New Orleans! You went down to ringside and everything?
Angela: Yeah, the whole nine yards. You could definitely say my cherry was popped. It was...
Nightmare: Awesome, wasn't it?
Angela: Terrifying, but exhilirating.
Nightmare: I said already. Awesome. Admit it- it was awesome.
[Angela pretends to disagree, but relents in a fit of laughter.]
Angela: Ok, ok, it was pretty damn cool. We drove down in Cornelius' car, you know-
Both: -the Mothership.
Angela: I wonder if he loves that car more than me.
[Nightmare doesn't respond.]
Angela: ...uh, Crys?
Nightmare: Oh, sorry. I was honestly considering whether he loves that car more than you. Kidding! Just kidding. You know what you've got, girl. So you drove down to New Orleans-
[Angela waves her hands in exasperation]
Angela: No, no, I'll tell, just let me tell it! It was my first time in New Orleans, so we had to hit all the usual touristy spots... Cornelius knows his way around down there, said he lived there for a year or so when he worked for Global Extreme. We got some beignets and all that, then we rented a car and he drove me across the river to the Arena...
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POLAR PHANTASM (Vol. 4) #1 - In For a Penny, In For a Pound
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[Scene: GEW Arena, Marrero, LA. We see a shiny emerald Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight pull into the paved Arena parking lot; the lot is quite full, as showtime is in less than half an hour and the GEW faithful are known to be quite ravenous for their chosen form of entertainment. The Olds pulls around to the back, backing into a parking space; its passenger door opens and Angela steps cautiously onto the tarmac as she coughs up some seriously dank second-hand smoke. The smoke wafting out behind her alone would get a Phish cover band through two sets. The drivers' side door opens and out steps Cornelius Casanova wearing a green dress shirt and black track pants. He exhales a decent-sized cloud himself as he howls at the building.]
Cornelius: Wooooo! Shit, I actually missed this place. Hey, you alright?
[He notices Angela is wiping her eyes and giggling at her own reflection in the Mothership's side mirror.]
Cornelius: Yeah, you alright. I'm gonna train you good yet, woman. Come on, there's some stuff I wanna show you before we work this match.
[Cornelius heads toward the back door to the Arena; Angela follows, suddenly realizing something.]
Angela: Wait, we? I thought you said I'd just wave to the people and look sexy.
Cornelius: Yeah, that's most of it. Depending on how it goes, though, you may have to show off your footwork a lil' bit.
[Cornelius smiles, then winks at his Chinese counterpart.]
Cornelius: I know you know how that goes. Just keep an eye on me, anything happens, do like we talked about. Ok?
[She nods in agreement, resting her head on his shoulder as he sweeps her up and through the backstage doors.]
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Nightmare: No way, he carried you over the threshhold? That's big.
Angela: Of a wrestling arena, though.
Nightmare: ...yeah, and he's a professional wrestler. That doesn't mean nothing, sister.
Angela: Well, anyway- OH! One thing we did see? There's a storage closet in the downstairs eastern hallway that has a mural of you two painted on it.
Nightmare: WHAT? NO FUCKIN' WAY!
Angela: Yeah, I got pics-
[From the pool, we once more hear the shouts of Jeffy Bankston.]
Jeffy: Mom cursing! Mom cursing!
[In mock apology, Crystal Bankston bows penitently before her young son.]
Nightmare: Right, right- Mommy's potty mouth. Got it. Thanks, Jeffy.
Jeffy: You're welcome Mommy!
[Angela finally digs the picture out of her cellphone's library, aiming its screen across the table at Crystal- Crystal, of course, snatches the phone up and stares at it wistfully.]
Nightmare: ...it was our first apartment*.
(* - Kid Phantasm and Nightmare lived in the GEW Arena's- and later, the WCF Arena's- storage closet until Jonny Fly 'purchased' New Antarctica for the young couple in April 2012. -B.)
Angela: ...a storage closet?
Nightmare: We've had a weird road. So who'd Cornelius end up having to wrestle?
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[Backstage in the GEW Arena, a match is ending in the ring; we see the winning team (Richey Razorblade and Sir Robert Duncan, GEW's British Invasion) scamper past after passing through the curtain, their usual cricket bats hung solemnly at their sides. For them, the evening is over... for Cornelius Casanova, it's just about to pick up. Cornelius and Angela find Ricky Richards, GEW's tempermental and moody CEO; Richards has Casanova's one-night contract in his pocket, ready to be signed.]
Richards: You ready for this?
Cornelius: Yeah, I mean, I guess-
Richards: Giving you a trial by fire tonight, Cornelius- permanent spots in this locker room aren't easy to come by, and if you want one you've gotta bring it home big.
Cornelius: Actually, I wasn't really... but... look man, what's the match?
["Highway to Hell" by AC/DC starts playing as the crowd goes crazy behind that curtain; a large and imposing (though somewhat genial) figure passes by on his way out, grabbing Cornelius' attention...]
Cornelius: Hey, Andy! Warhawk, hey man!
[The figure turns; it is indeed former WCF and current GEW star 'Archbishop' Andy Warhawk, and over his shoulder rests the GEW World Title.]
Warhawk: Cornelius, good to see you- we'll catch up later. Excuse me, gotta punch in-
[With that, Andy Warhawk bursts through the curtain to a huge pop from the GEW Arena crowd... many of whom sing along with his theme music at the top of their lungs. Cornelius turns to Ricky Richards, who holds out the contract expectantly.]
Richards: If you lose, you get paid for working the match and we're done.
[Cornelius signs, not really worrying too much about his 'future' in Global Extreme Wrestling.]
Richards: But hey, if you win... everything changes. After all, you'll be World Champ!
[Richards waves and heads back up to the control center, shutting the door and barking orders loud enough to be heard through the door and over the roaring crowd.]
Angela: Does that mean...
[Casanova huffs, takes off his dress shirt to reveal a green tank top with 'CASANOVA' emblazoned on the back.]
Cornelius: ...means we're up against Warhawk.
Angela: He seemed like a nice guy, at least.
Cornelius: Yeah, he's great. He's also huge and destructive as hell. Remember- anything happens...
[Angela nods, giving Cornelius a kiss for luck.]
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[In the ring, referee Clive Anderson stands at the ready; the Champion has already (finally?) made his entrance, and finally begins to wind his way into the ring from the crowd. At ringside, Boomer Brown sits as always on commentary... in the stands sit a few hundred of the loudest and most demanding wrestling fans on Earth. All is well in the GEW Universe, especially once the audience hears "Light Years" by Jamiroquai for the first time in over a year.]
Boomer Brown: And here comes the challenger...
[Cornelius enters to a tremendous pop, shocking Angela out of step and causing her to fall slightly behind Cornelius. He stops, reaching back to his lady; he gives her a twirl, and the crowd thank him with wolf whistles.]
Boomer Brown: ...I can't believe it, he's really here! Back in GEW, it's Cornelius Casanova!! I'm being told that this lovely young lady beside him is 'the Jade Empress'...
[Cornelius raises the roof for a section of the audience- he signals to another section of the crowd who all begin raising the roof. He then turns to Angela who shrugs and raises the roof herself.]
Boomer Brown: ...and it appears that the Empress is finding her way along just fine in the muddy waters of South Louisiana. Let's go to Richard Vranch for the announcement.
[...A tall, thin hipster-ish fellow in a black sportcoat steps to the center of the ring, speaking loudly into a microphone.]
Richard Vranch: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the GEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
[Crowd pops, Warhawk spits. Angela slaps the ring apron excitedly on the outside... inside, Cornelius just thinks.]
Richard Vranch: First, the Challenger... weighing in at 222 pounds and hailing from Fleetwood, Pennsylvania-
[...A rush of humanity overtakes the ring; in a split second, Andy Warhawk goes from zero to sixty and goes straight through ring announcer Richard Vranch to take down Cornelius Casanova.]
Boomer: And thank you very much, Mr. Richard Vranch! Don't worry, our insurance is finally paid up. Fans, this should be an amazing matchup despite the size difference between these two men- as Warhawk continues to manhandle Casanova, throat drop across the top rope... Warhawk easily has a buck and change on Casanova in weight and a long reach, which the high-flying Casanova will be trying like hell to avoid...
[The GEW World Champion puts Cornelius into a toehold, then drops elbow first across Casanova's knee.]
Boomer: ...if he can walk at all when the Archbishop's done with him-
[From somewhere in the crowd, a 'Fuck 'Em Up Corndog' chant begins; it picks up a great deal of steam.]
Boomer: Fans here in the GEW Arena certainly glad to see Cornelius back in action; he was, of course, three-time GEW Tag Team Champion with Danny Darwin, the Emerald Prince, as the team of the Mothership Connection... enzui giri by Casanova, we may have a match yet! Warhawk had Casanova up against the ropes, but Cornelius was able to get the leg up and behind the head of the champ! Warhawk back up to a vertical base now- irish whip, reversed- Cornelius set for a ride... backflips over Warhawk and... oh my god!
[The crowd pops as Casanova slumps to the mat beside a downed Andy Warhawk.]
Boomer: It took every bit of Cornelius Casanova, but he just gave the 348 pound World Champ a german suplex- and with what impact! Both men down- Cornelius staggering up to his feet first, Warhawk up to a kneel... oof, mafia kick to the temple of Andy Warhawk... and there's the Casanova we know and love- somersault leg drop! ...another somersault leg drop! Is he going for the- whoa, standing moonsault press! 1...2..two count only, says Referee Clive Anderson.
[At ringside, Angela shouts encouragement to Cornelius... she begins slapping the mat, which unbeknownst to her summons the Arena crowd to stomp along with her.]
Boomer: This capacity crowd, strongly behind Cornelius Casanova here... Warhawk's up and he's angry! Clothesline nearly takes Cornelius out of the state; Warhawk following up with a series of stomps to the chest, then frantically looks about for a weapon; he finds none... so he goes for a powerbomb- HOLY CATS! Casanova's head has to feel like a kick drum! The World Champion, showing why he's one of the greatest GEW World Champions of all time, powerbombing Cornelius Casanova a quarter of the way across the ring into the turnbuckles, raking his skull across them as he tumbled down- Casanova's down, but he's moving, thankfully.
[Warhawk raises his arms into a 'Jesus Christ' pose. The GEW Arena crowd roar back at their champion.]
Boomer: Jade Empress doing her best here to rally Casanova, but it may just not be Cornelius' night tonight... Andy Warhawk has been on a roll lately, and ring rust is a son-of-a-bitch. Warhawk scoops Casanova up, maybe looking for a running powerslam here- Casanova slips behind! Drill dropkick to the back of Warhawk's left leg, drops him to one knee... Casanova off the ropes now, leaps over- good god! Springboard neckbreaker across the rope; Warhawk's head just snapped back like a Pez dispenser! Casanova on one knee outside the ring, Empress comes over to counsel... now they're going under the ring for... yes! Cornelius Casanova, welcome back to GEW!
[Cornelius and Angela hastily bridge the guardrail and ring apron with a table, looking back cautiously to see if Warhawk is still recovering.]
Boomer: This young lady, Jade Empress, is certainly getting an education in Extreme tonight folks- not even fifteen minutes into her wrestling career, and she's already setting up tables. It's a beautiful thing. Andy- Andy Warhawk's gone? No! Andy Warhawk's got the Empress! Cornelius is on the wrong side of that table... and Warhawk tosses the ring steps at him for good measure, cracking Casanova down the right side of his head. He's down... and the Jade Empress looks like she's about to go for a ride!
[At ringside, Andy Warhawk begins to lift Angela for a crucifix powerbomb; the lithe martial artist slides off the World Champion's back and gives him a very, very strong (very legit) front kick to the nuts.]
Boomer: I do not envy the World Champion right now... both challenger and champion are struggling to a vertical base here... Casanova seems to have shaken the cobwebs, though, as he's climbing up to the ring apron... headscissor, down goes Warhawk! Here's Casanova's chance to cinch up the World Title; looks like he's going to front russian leg-sweep the Champion through the table, but the Champ holds onto the guardrail... and headbutts Casanova right to his knees! This doesn't look good for Corndog, folks- CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!
[Crowd begins a very loud 'GEW' chant.]
Boomer: Jade Empress looks terrified, and with good reason- we're 3 mat slaps away from seeing her man Casanova head home a loser. Warhawk doesn't even bother to drag Cornelius back in the ring, covering him on the floor outside... and it's over.
["Highway to Hell" by AC/DC begins playing once more as the crowd goes nuts. Warhawk returns to the ring and is presented once more with his title.]
Boomer: Well, Cornelius gave it a hell of a fight, but Warhawk's just been downright unbeatable for the last seven months or so- I mean, jesus, I didn't think Corndog was getting up after taking that 'bomb into the turnbuckles! Challenger and manager are in the ring now... and a handshake between opponents. Now that's what I'm talking about, people- no dishonor in a loss like that, especially not to a beast like Archbishop Andy. Well, next week we've got a mask vs. hair match- It's Apathy from Urban Decay going up against Mexican favorite El Spectacular! That's all for tonight, fans- for Madhouse, this is Boomer Brown signing off.
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[Scene: New Antarctica, backyard. As Jeffrey dries out at poolside, we see the girls' conversation wind down.]
Nightmare: Wow- sh...oot, I'm not sure how I would hold up after taking a crucifix powerbomb through a table from Warhawk. That guy's huge and crazy. Probably would've killed you.
Angela: I know, right?
Nightmare: Yeah, you had way too much fun.
[Suddenly remembering something, Crystal leaps up and rushes to the grill; she opens the door, grasping in Angela's direction for tongs and a plate. Angela laughs as she hands the tools over, even if it did mean getting up from her comfy spot.]
Angela: I guess since you cooked it I'll bring it in to 'em.
Nightmare: Eh, I know Cam pretty well- if I tell him there's food, he'll tell me he'll eat later. But if we bring food to him, he'll follow it all the way back out here if we make him.
Angela: Yeah? Like he's a cartoon character or something?
[Nightmare laughs.]
Nightmare: Yeah, kinda like. It's like this- really brilliant men? Still just men.
Angela: Be right back...
[Quickly taking the plate of steaks as 'bait', the Jade Empress heads into New Antarctica proper to 'lure' the menfolk above decks.]
Jeffy: Mom, I want to get back in the pool!
Nightmare: Not now, baby. It's dinner.
Jeffy: But dad gets to keep playing!
[Nightmare shakes her head in disgust.]
Nightmare: No, honey, daddy's not playing. Technically, that's what daddy and mommy call 'working'. Working.
Jeffy: Working.
Nightmare: Now say 'My mommy has a high workrate.'
Jeffy: Mommy has a high wuckrate.
[Crystal Bankston can't help but hug her child.]
Nightmare: You got it, baby.
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[Scene: New Antarctica, cellar. We see that the cellar of New Antarctica - previously Polar's workshop, before the first New Antarctica burned - is now a full gymnasium complete with a small wrestling ring. Its layout, though a bit more compact, is very reminiscent of Jeff Purse's barn gym out at his farm in Berwick... a place where the Phantasm did a lot of his training during the early days of the Pantheon. We can see that Cornelius is in great shape; his slim 222 pound frame belies the power within, focused by his years of martial arts training and sharpened by his months-long relationship with the Jade Empress... though he carries a bit of the ass-whooping he took from Andy Warhawk about him, Casanova seems little worse for the wear. Cornelius' opponent, of course, is Cameron Bankston Junior... we just like to call him the Polar Phantasm around these parts. Polar has put on what appears to be a solid 20 pounds of muscle and now tips the scales at about 255 pounds. When we find Cornelius and Polar, they are deep into a sparring contest; we watch as Cornelius reverses a strike into an arm-wringer, then knocks Phantasm flat with a back roundhouse kick.]
Angela: Ah, you HAVE been practicing. Excellent form, good extension.
Cornelius: Hey, you already know-
[Corndog addresses his woman, giving Polar the chance he needs to drag Cornelius to the ground and throw on the Triangle Hold. Cornelius refuses to tap in front of his woman, but soon gives in and crawls toward his lunch muttering curses.]
Angela: Was that showing off, or a macho bravado thing, or what?
Phantasm: It's called a submission. What? I was done and I'm hungry. Break time!
[Angela reverses direction, taking the food back up the stairs; Phantasm wastes no time following, Cornelius in tow behind him. Phantasm suddenly gets a notification from what appears to be a small tablet computer built into the bulky gauntlet he wears on his left arm. He touches the screen twice, then stops dead in his tracks as he views the message.]
Angela: Come on!
Phantasm: I'm coming- I just gotta see this.
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The video begins to play. In full focus of the constantly moving camera (a handheld iPhone) is a rather ragged looking Frank Patrick Venable. He's grown a long beard since the last time Polar has seen him, and yet beneath that beard Frank's smile is still radiant. In the background, chilling out on a couch is Frank's brother Vic Venable, fast asleep.
FPV: Cameron, my friend. It's been far, far too long. I hope this message gets to you soon, it's something I've been thinking about a lot. I hope you're doing well though, and you're not dead or busy working for the government. I don't which one of those is worse but that's besides the point.
I'll give you a quick rundown. I haven't been in WCF since the very beginning of...oh, 2014. I came back for like two weeks in the summer, but not as a wrestler. My life has been so complicated that I've had zero time to even focus on WCF. I went away for a bit, spent some time away from the States, all the way up in Japan. Been training over there, doing some small indy shows. Something to get myself re calibrated, y'know?
Well I think it's high time I come back. The WCF is like the fuckin mob man, every time I think I've left it pulls me back in. I've heard there's lots of new crazy talent running around and I wanna get in on that action. If I come back though, I would very much like to have my brother Polar by my side in my crusades.
And about that? I hear Corey is holding another XIII soon. It would be my honor if my first match back in WCF was with you. No bullshit, no feuding. Just two friends putting it all out there for the crowd. Because let's face it, if I'm crazy enough to come back, then I'm damn sure you're crazy ass wants back even more.
Lemme know when you've made your decision. I hope to see you soon.
Frank flashes one last quick smile before the video ends.
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[Scene: New Antarctica, living room. The decor is fairly classical, aside from the dining room table being a twelve-person custom holographic conference table... Crystal clutches Jeffrey to her chest, playfully jiggling the youngest Unstable Element as the four adults watch Frank's video message to Polar. As it ends, Polar shakes his head slightly.]
Phantasm: Frank's right. It's time I punched back into work.
[At this news, Nightmare blows a huff of air angrily.]
Nightmare: Can you at least pretend to acknowledge that I have been telling you THE EXACT SAME SHIT FOR A YEAR?
[Polar shrugs.]
Phantasm: I thought you just wanted to get back in the ring.
[He smiles at his angry bride- she struggles to keep a motherly grasp on her son due to her overwhelming desire to hit something.]
Nightmare: Alright, that's part of it- but he's right and so was I. Yeah, I'm pissed that I don't get to go back to work with you... but I'm not so pissed that I'm going to complain about you going back to work. Ugh.
Cornelius: If it helps, he ain't going back alone- we'll be there right around the way in Fleetwood if y'all ever need us.
Phantasm: Of course I'll need you. Cornelius, you're gonna be my manager.
[Cornelius and Angela both double-take.]
Angela: He's gonna be your manager? Then what the hell will I be doing?
Cornelius: Managin' my ass, I guess. I think I could get into this, for real. Be like the black Jim Cornette. I mean, I ain't sure I can hang in the ring with the WCF cats, but I can sure talk shit to 'em when you need a hype man.
Phantasm: You're god damn right you can. And I will totally need a hype man; something's gotta keep me hype, missin' my family and all.
Angela: Well, we were talking about heading back for Pennsylvania tomorrow-
[Nightmare sighs, standing. She heads off to put Jeffrey to bed... as she heads upstairs, she ominously says...]
Nightmare: Well, if he's going with you tomorrow then he's mine tonight. Brace yourselves. I'll be right back.
Jeffy: Good night Daddy! Good night Uncle Corny! Good night Aunt Angie!
Everybody: Good night Jeffy!
Angela: Your kid is so adorable.
[Polar smiles and nods.]
Phantasm: Yeah, I finally did something right, I guess. You two better make yourselves scarce, hide out in the guest room or something-
Cornelius: Yeah? I mean, y'all do what you feel-
Phantasm: No, trust me... I'm about to get laid like one of the two of us is going to prison afterwards, and as your friend I'm advising you to keep your hands and feet away from the Tazmanian Devil-like tornado that'll be coming down here after my bodily fluids.
[Angela is speechless; Cornelius just laughs. He heads toward the stairs to the basement, waving Angela toward him.]
Angela: Down there?
Phantasm: No, it's a good idea- that door locks from the inside. Remember; she can move like a god damn ninja... if you don't hear anything, you're still not safe. She could be riding me like-
Cornelius: Alright, B, we get the picture. Your old lady is a freak. Good on ya. Night, brah.
[Still laughing at Polar's diatribe, Cornelius leads his woman down to bed in a wrestling ring. Polar looks around cursively at his home, knowing his world is about to change again...]
Phantasm (whispered): I'm going home.
[...and, just like that, all the lights in the house go out. A low, mad cackle comes from above.]
Phantasm: Come and get me, you rough b-
[...and just as it was when the two first met, Phantasm and Nightmare begin a brutal violent struggle that always leads them to the others' heart.]
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NEXT: The Jade Empress of Fleetwood, Pennsylvania
[(c) Wrestling Championship Federation 2016. All rights reserved. Flashback segment (c) Global Extreme Wrestling 2016. The views of the Polar Phantasm are not those of WCF or any of its sponsors or affiliates.]
(* ...way, way back in Jonny Fly's 'Fly and Polar Walk Into a Bar, Pt 2' circa April 2012)
(**the Unstable Elements' home was irreparably destroyed by an arsonist revealed to be Polar's longtime nemesis Nathan von Liebert back in 2013. -B)
Nightmare: Fuckin' a, Space Age Love Song! I haven't heard this in... gods, a couple years maybe?
Angela: Never was a big New Wave fan.
Nightmare: No?
Angela: Before my time, I guess.
Nightmare: Uh... how old do you think I am? Seriously.
[Crystal focuses her gaze as if challenging Angela, but smiles as she does.]
Angela: ...alright, alright. Point taken. Maybe I just never gave it a proper go.
Nightmare: Not even Talking Heads? Come on. For shame. 'Remain In Light'? Nobody with a soul can hate that album.
[She begins digging into a handbag; Nightmare produces a joint and happily plugs it into her mouth with a sigh.]
Nightmare: Or 'Stop Making Sense'! Holy shit, that record... you know, I think I have it around here somewhere.
[Angela suddenly seems out of place as Crystal sparks the left-handed cigarette within a stone's throw of her child.]
Nightmare: You burn?
Angela: Oh, no. You sure you should-
[Angela glances over at Jeff, happily paddling about and pretending to bash the sides of the swimming pool with his 'gauntlets'.]
Nightmare: -yes. Yes, I should. We're taking care of dinner for the boys... my son is splashing his ass off and not crying for me... this is absolutely the time to take care of Mommy.
[She takes a drag and holds it in, choking out the next sentence.]
Nightmare (choking): Yeah, that's way more like it. I guess I should've given you fair warning, I just figured... what with you being with Cornelius and all-
[Angela laughs, shaking her head.]
Angela: Yeah, a girl could get a contact high just from kissing the boy. That much I know.
[They both laugh as Angela continues.]
Angela: Ate a brownie once. It made me sick.
Nightmare: Were you drunk?
Angela: Kinda-
Nightmare: Yeah, probably not the best time to introduce your stomach to the wonders of digesting marijuana.
[From the pool, shouts come with an enthusiasm only crackheads and three-year-olds can produce.]
Jeffy: Mommy, mommy, look! Mommy, watch!
[Nightmare turns and watches as Jeffrey Bankston discovers the joy of water displacement; he has taken off one of his floaties, now, and tries hopelessly to sink it.]
Nightmare: You're getting it now, Jeff. That's how you're floating and not sinking- those don't sink.
[As if proving his mother wrong, young Jeffrey clasps the floatie between his feet and hides it beneath the surface of the water. This causes him to flip head over heels, getting water in his nose. Nightmare and Angela both hold back their laughter at first, until 'Kid P' pokes his head up from beneath the water and discharge the water with an angry snort.]
Jeffy: That floatie tricked me!
[That bursts the dam, and out flows roaring laughter from the girls. Angela gets up to get another margarita; as she comes back out through the sliding patio door, she notices Nightmare staring off into space.]
Angela: That stuff already got ya?
[Nightmare chortles as if insulted.]
Nightmare: Bitch, please. Nah, I was just wondering what they're up to downstairs.
Angela: I'm gonna guess... sweating, probably beating each other up. Get ready for a night of playing nursemaid-
[Nightmare laughs sharply.]
Nightmare: Oh, not even close. Something about that man, bloodied and bruised up... mmm. Shit, I have a hard enough time keeping it together these days... I mean, Christ, he's never been in this good of shape. And he's plotting things again, researching future opponents, sparring...
Angela: Up to his old tricks.
[Nightmare interrupts her drag to respond.]
Nightmare: Yeah, that settles it. I hope you two sleep soundly and I hope Jeffy's night-time Benadryl doesn't come back up on him, because so help me I am fucking that man within an inch of his life tonight!
[She triumphantly pounds her fist on the patio table, causing her purse and Angela's margarita to jump an inch or so. She cackles madly and drops the joint.]
Angela: So you're not upset at all that your husband's about to go back to work without you?
Nightmare: Oh, I wouldn't say that... of course I want to go. Of course. But if we both went, we'd have to bring Jeff.
Angela: Not a great environment for raising children.
Nightmare: What, WCF? Jesus. Remind me someday to tell you about being kidnapped and brainwashed by Oblivion and Nathan von Liebert*... that'll tell you all you need to know about my desire to bring my son around ringside.
(* - Nightmare was kidnapped right after the events of Unstable Elements #10, leading to her kidnappers forming the group Monsters Inc. An early event in the life of the Pantheon, circa May 2012 through the rest of the year. -B.)
Angela: Yeah, I can see how you'd say that- I've just had the one 'wrestling experience' and it left me wondering for my own safety, much less wondering what I'd do if I had a child with me...
[Nightmare excitedly squeals as she hits the joint; it makes a funny noise and an even funnier plume of smoke.]
Nightmare (choking): Oh, yeah- Cornelius said he took you down to New Orleans! You went down to ringside and everything?
Angela: Yeah, the whole nine yards. You could definitely say my cherry was popped. It was...
Nightmare: Awesome, wasn't it?
Angela: Terrifying, but exhilirating.
Nightmare: I said already. Awesome. Admit it- it was awesome.
[Angela pretends to disagree, but relents in a fit of laughter.]
Angela: Ok, ok, it was pretty damn cool. We drove down in Cornelius' car, you know-
Both: -the Mothership.
Angela: I wonder if he loves that car more than me.
[Nightmare doesn't respond.]
Angela: ...uh, Crys?
Nightmare: Oh, sorry. I was honestly considering whether he loves that car more than you. Kidding! Just kidding. You know what you've got, girl. So you drove down to New Orleans-
[Angela waves her hands in exasperation]
Angela: No, no, I'll tell, just let me tell it! It was my first time in New Orleans, so we had to hit all the usual touristy spots... Cornelius knows his way around down there, said he lived there for a year or so when he worked for Global Extreme. We got some beignets and all that, then we rented a car and he drove me across the river to the Arena...
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POLAR PHANTASM (Vol. 4) #1 - In For a Penny, In For a Pound
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[Scene: GEW Arena, Marrero, LA. We see a shiny emerald Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight pull into the paved Arena parking lot; the lot is quite full, as showtime is in less than half an hour and the GEW faithful are known to be quite ravenous for their chosen form of entertainment. The Olds pulls around to the back, backing into a parking space; its passenger door opens and Angela steps cautiously onto the tarmac as she coughs up some seriously dank second-hand smoke. The smoke wafting out behind her alone would get a Phish cover band through two sets. The drivers' side door opens and out steps Cornelius Casanova wearing a green dress shirt and black track pants. He exhales a decent-sized cloud himself as he howls at the building.]
Cornelius: Wooooo! Shit, I actually missed this place. Hey, you alright?
[He notices Angela is wiping her eyes and giggling at her own reflection in the Mothership's side mirror.]
Cornelius: Yeah, you alright. I'm gonna train you good yet, woman. Come on, there's some stuff I wanna show you before we work this match.
[Cornelius heads toward the back door to the Arena; Angela follows, suddenly realizing something.]
Angela: Wait, we? I thought you said I'd just wave to the people and look sexy.
Cornelius: Yeah, that's most of it. Depending on how it goes, though, you may have to show off your footwork a lil' bit.
[Cornelius smiles, then winks at his Chinese counterpart.]
Cornelius: I know you know how that goes. Just keep an eye on me, anything happens, do like we talked about. Ok?
[She nods in agreement, resting her head on his shoulder as he sweeps her up and through the backstage doors.]
------------------------------
Nightmare: No way, he carried you over the threshhold? That's big.
Angela: Of a wrestling arena, though.
Nightmare: ...yeah, and he's a professional wrestler. That doesn't mean nothing, sister.
Angela: Well, anyway- OH! One thing we did see? There's a storage closet in the downstairs eastern hallway that has a mural of you two painted on it.
Nightmare: WHAT? NO FUCKIN' WAY!
Angela: Yeah, I got pics-
[From the pool, we once more hear the shouts of Jeffy Bankston.]
Jeffy: Mom cursing! Mom cursing!
[In mock apology, Crystal Bankston bows penitently before her young son.]
Nightmare: Right, right- Mommy's potty mouth. Got it. Thanks, Jeffy.
Jeffy: You're welcome Mommy!
[Angela finally digs the picture out of her cellphone's library, aiming its screen across the table at Crystal- Crystal, of course, snatches the phone up and stares at it wistfully.]
Nightmare: ...it was our first apartment*.
(* - Kid Phantasm and Nightmare lived in the GEW Arena's- and later, the WCF Arena's- storage closet until Jonny Fly 'purchased' New Antarctica for the young couple in April 2012. -B.)
Angela: ...a storage closet?
Nightmare: We've had a weird road. So who'd Cornelius end up having to wrestle?
---------------------------------------------------
[Backstage in the GEW Arena, a match is ending in the ring; we see the winning team (Richey Razorblade and Sir Robert Duncan, GEW's British Invasion) scamper past after passing through the curtain, their usual cricket bats hung solemnly at their sides. For them, the evening is over... for Cornelius Casanova, it's just about to pick up. Cornelius and Angela find Ricky Richards, GEW's tempermental and moody CEO; Richards has Casanova's one-night contract in his pocket, ready to be signed.]
Richards: You ready for this?
Cornelius: Yeah, I mean, I guess-
Richards: Giving you a trial by fire tonight, Cornelius- permanent spots in this locker room aren't easy to come by, and if you want one you've gotta bring it home big.
Cornelius: Actually, I wasn't really... but... look man, what's the match?
["Highway to Hell" by AC/DC starts playing as the crowd goes crazy behind that curtain; a large and imposing (though somewhat genial) figure passes by on his way out, grabbing Cornelius' attention...]
Cornelius: Hey, Andy! Warhawk, hey man!
[The figure turns; it is indeed former WCF and current GEW star 'Archbishop' Andy Warhawk, and over his shoulder rests the GEW World Title.]
Warhawk: Cornelius, good to see you- we'll catch up later. Excuse me, gotta punch in-
[With that, Andy Warhawk bursts through the curtain to a huge pop from the GEW Arena crowd... many of whom sing along with his theme music at the top of their lungs. Cornelius turns to Ricky Richards, who holds out the contract expectantly.]
Richards: If you lose, you get paid for working the match and we're done.
[Cornelius signs, not really worrying too much about his 'future' in Global Extreme Wrestling.]
Richards: But hey, if you win... everything changes. After all, you'll be World Champ!
[Richards waves and heads back up to the control center, shutting the door and barking orders loud enough to be heard through the door and over the roaring crowd.]
Angela: Does that mean...
[Casanova huffs, takes off his dress shirt to reveal a green tank top with 'CASANOVA' emblazoned on the back.]
Cornelius: ...means we're up against Warhawk.
Angela: He seemed like a nice guy, at least.
Cornelius: Yeah, he's great. He's also huge and destructive as hell. Remember- anything happens...
[Angela nods, giving Cornelius a kiss for luck.]
----------------------------------------------
[In the ring, referee Clive Anderson stands at the ready; the Champion has already (finally?) made his entrance, and finally begins to wind his way into the ring from the crowd. At ringside, Boomer Brown sits as always on commentary... in the stands sit a few hundred of the loudest and most demanding wrestling fans on Earth. All is well in the GEW Universe, especially once the audience hears "Light Years" by Jamiroquai for the first time in over a year.]
Boomer Brown: And here comes the challenger...
[Cornelius enters to a tremendous pop, shocking Angela out of step and causing her to fall slightly behind Cornelius. He stops, reaching back to his lady; he gives her a twirl, and the crowd thank him with wolf whistles.]
Boomer Brown: ...I can't believe it, he's really here! Back in GEW, it's Cornelius Casanova!! I'm being told that this lovely young lady beside him is 'the Jade Empress'...
[Cornelius raises the roof for a section of the audience- he signals to another section of the crowd who all begin raising the roof. He then turns to Angela who shrugs and raises the roof herself.]
Boomer Brown: ...and it appears that the Empress is finding her way along just fine in the muddy waters of South Louisiana. Let's go to Richard Vranch for the announcement.
[...A tall, thin hipster-ish fellow in a black sportcoat steps to the center of the ring, speaking loudly into a microphone.]
Richard Vranch: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the GEW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
[Crowd pops, Warhawk spits. Angela slaps the ring apron excitedly on the outside... inside, Cornelius just thinks.]
Richard Vranch: First, the Challenger... weighing in at 222 pounds and hailing from Fleetwood, Pennsylvania-
[...A rush of humanity overtakes the ring; in a split second, Andy Warhawk goes from zero to sixty and goes straight through ring announcer Richard Vranch to take down Cornelius Casanova.]
Boomer: And thank you very much, Mr. Richard Vranch! Don't worry, our insurance is finally paid up. Fans, this should be an amazing matchup despite the size difference between these two men- as Warhawk continues to manhandle Casanova, throat drop across the top rope... Warhawk easily has a buck and change on Casanova in weight and a long reach, which the high-flying Casanova will be trying like hell to avoid...
[The GEW World Champion puts Cornelius into a toehold, then drops elbow first across Casanova's knee.]
Boomer: ...if he can walk at all when the Archbishop's done with him-
[From somewhere in the crowd, a 'Fuck 'Em Up Corndog' chant begins; it picks up a great deal of steam.]
Boomer: Fans here in the GEW Arena certainly glad to see Cornelius back in action; he was, of course, three-time GEW Tag Team Champion with Danny Darwin, the Emerald Prince, as the team of the Mothership Connection... enzui giri by Casanova, we may have a match yet! Warhawk had Casanova up against the ropes, but Cornelius was able to get the leg up and behind the head of the champ! Warhawk back up to a vertical base now- irish whip, reversed- Cornelius set for a ride... backflips over Warhawk and... oh my god!
[The crowd pops as Casanova slumps to the mat beside a downed Andy Warhawk.]
Boomer: It took every bit of Cornelius Casanova, but he just gave the 348 pound World Champ a german suplex- and with what impact! Both men down- Cornelius staggering up to his feet first, Warhawk up to a kneel... oof, mafia kick to the temple of Andy Warhawk... and there's the Casanova we know and love- somersault leg drop! ...another somersault leg drop! Is he going for the- whoa, standing moonsault press! 1...2..two count only, says Referee Clive Anderson.
[At ringside, Angela shouts encouragement to Cornelius... she begins slapping the mat, which unbeknownst to her summons the Arena crowd to stomp along with her.]
Boomer: This capacity crowd, strongly behind Cornelius Casanova here... Warhawk's up and he's angry! Clothesline nearly takes Cornelius out of the state; Warhawk following up with a series of stomps to the chest, then frantically looks about for a weapon; he finds none... so he goes for a powerbomb- HOLY CATS! Casanova's head has to feel like a kick drum! The World Champion, showing why he's one of the greatest GEW World Champions of all time, powerbombing Cornelius Casanova a quarter of the way across the ring into the turnbuckles, raking his skull across them as he tumbled down- Casanova's down, but he's moving, thankfully.
[Warhawk raises his arms into a 'Jesus Christ' pose. The GEW Arena crowd roar back at their champion.]
Boomer: Jade Empress doing her best here to rally Casanova, but it may just not be Cornelius' night tonight... Andy Warhawk has been on a roll lately, and ring rust is a son-of-a-bitch. Warhawk scoops Casanova up, maybe looking for a running powerslam here- Casanova slips behind! Drill dropkick to the back of Warhawk's left leg, drops him to one knee... Casanova off the ropes now, leaps over- good god! Springboard neckbreaker across the rope; Warhawk's head just snapped back like a Pez dispenser! Casanova on one knee outside the ring, Empress comes over to counsel... now they're going under the ring for... yes! Cornelius Casanova, welcome back to GEW!
[Cornelius and Angela hastily bridge the guardrail and ring apron with a table, looking back cautiously to see if Warhawk is still recovering.]
Boomer: This young lady, Jade Empress, is certainly getting an education in Extreme tonight folks- not even fifteen minutes into her wrestling career, and she's already setting up tables. It's a beautiful thing. Andy- Andy Warhawk's gone? No! Andy Warhawk's got the Empress! Cornelius is on the wrong side of that table... and Warhawk tosses the ring steps at him for good measure, cracking Casanova down the right side of his head. He's down... and the Jade Empress looks like she's about to go for a ride!
[At ringside, Andy Warhawk begins to lift Angela for a crucifix powerbomb; the lithe martial artist slides off the World Champion's back and gives him a very, very strong (very legit) front kick to the nuts.]
Boomer: I do not envy the World Champion right now... both challenger and champion are struggling to a vertical base here... Casanova seems to have shaken the cobwebs, though, as he's climbing up to the ring apron... headscissor, down goes Warhawk! Here's Casanova's chance to cinch up the World Title; looks like he's going to front russian leg-sweep the Champion through the table, but the Champ holds onto the guardrail... and headbutts Casanova right to his knees! This doesn't look good for Corndog, folks- CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!
[Crowd begins a very loud 'GEW' chant.]
Boomer: Jade Empress looks terrified, and with good reason- we're 3 mat slaps away from seeing her man Casanova head home a loser. Warhawk doesn't even bother to drag Cornelius back in the ring, covering him on the floor outside... and it's over.
["Highway to Hell" by AC/DC begins playing once more as the crowd goes nuts. Warhawk returns to the ring and is presented once more with his title.]
Boomer: Well, Cornelius gave it a hell of a fight, but Warhawk's just been downright unbeatable for the last seven months or so- I mean, jesus, I didn't think Corndog was getting up after taking that 'bomb into the turnbuckles! Challenger and manager are in the ring now... and a handshake between opponents. Now that's what I'm talking about, people- no dishonor in a loss like that, especially not to a beast like Archbishop Andy. Well, next week we've got a mask vs. hair match- It's Apathy from Urban Decay going up against Mexican favorite El Spectacular! That's all for tonight, fans- for Madhouse, this is Boomer Brown signing off.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Scene: New Antarctica, backyard. As Jeffrey dries out at poolside, we see the girls' conversation wind down.]
Nightmare: Wow- sh...oot, I'm not sure how I would hold up after taking a crucifix powerbomb through a table from Warhawk. That guy's huge and crazy. Probably would've killed you.
Angela: I know, right?
Nightmare: Yeah, you had way too much fun.
[Suddenly remembering something, Crystal leaps up and rushes to the grill; she opens the door, grasping in Angela's direction for tongs and a plate. Angela laughs as she hands the tools over, even if it did mean getting up from her comfy spot.]
Angela: I guess since you cooked it I'll bring it in to 'em.
Nightmare: Eh, I know Cam pretty well- if I tell him there's food, he'll tell me he'll eat later. But if we bring food to him, he'll follow it all the way back out here if we make him.
Angela: Yeah? Like he's a cartoon character or something?
[Nightmare laughs.]
Nightmare: Yeah, kinda like. It's like this- really brilliant men? Still just men.
Angela: Be right back...
[Quickly taking the plate of steaks as 'bait', the Jade Empress heads into New Antarctica proper to 'lure' the menfolk above decks.]
Jeffy: Mom, I want to get back in the pool!
Nightmare: Not now, baby. It's dinner.
Jeffy: But dad gets to keep playing!
[Nightmare shakes her head in disgust.]
Nightmare: No, honey, daddy's not playing. Technically, that's what daddy and mommy call 'working'. Working.
Jeffy: Working.
Nightmare: Now say 'My mommy has a high workrate.'
Jeffy: Mommy has a high wuckrate.
[Crystal Bankston can't help but hug her child.]
Nightmare: You got it, baby.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
[Scene: New Antarctica, cellar. We see that the cellar of New Antarctica - previously Polar's workshop, before the first New Antarctica burned - is now a full gymnasium complete with a small wrestling ring. Its layout, though a bit more compact, is very reminiscent of Jeff Purse's barn gym out at his farm in Berwick... a place where the Phantasm did a lot of his training during the early days of the Pantheon. We can see that Cornelius is in great shape; his slim 222 pound frame belies the power within, focused by his years of martial arts training and sharpened by his months-long relationship with the Jade Empress... though he carries a bit of the ass-whooping he took from Andy Warhawk about him, Casanova seems little worse for the wear. Cornelius' opponent, of course, is Cameron Bankston Junior... we just like to call him the Polar Phantasm around these parts. Polar has put on what appears to be a solid 20 pounds of muscle and now tips the scales at about 255 pounds. When we find Cornelius and Polar, they are deep into a sparring contest; we watch as Cornelius reverses a strike into an arm-wringer, then knocks Phantasm flat with a back roundhouse kick.]
Angela: Ah, you HAVE been practicing. Excellent form, good extension.
Cornelius: Hey, you already know-
[Corndog addresses his woman, giving Polar the chance he needs to drag Cornelius to the ground and throw on the Triangle Hold. Cornelius refuses to tap in front of his woman, but soon gives in and crawls toward his lunch muttering curses.]
Angela: Was that showing off, or a macho bravado thing, or what?
Phantasm: It's called a submission. What? I was done and I'm hungry. Break time!
[Angela reverses direction, taking the food back up the stairs; Phantasm wastes no time following, Cornelius in tow behind him. Phantasm suddenly gets a notification from what appears to be a small tablet computer built into the bulky gauntlet he wears on his left arm. He touches the screen twice, then stops dead in his tracks as he views the message.]
Angela: Come on!
Phantasm: I'm coming- I just gotta see this.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The video begins to play. In full focus of the constantly moving camera (a handheld iPhone) is a rather ragged looking Frank Patrick Venable. He's grown a long beard since the last time Polar has seen him, and yet beneath that beard Frank's smile is still radiant. In the background, chilling out on a couch is Frank's brother Vic Venable, fast asleep.
FPV: Cameron, my friend. It's been far, far too long. I hope this message gets to you soon, it's something I've been thinking about a lot. I hope you're doing well though, and you're not dead or busy working for the government. I don't which one of those is worse but that's besides the point.
I'll give you a quick rundown. I haven't been in WCF since the very beginning of...oh, 2014. I came back for like two weeks in the summer, but not as a wrestler. My life has been so complicated that I've had zero time to even focus on WCF. I went away for a bit, spent some time away from the States, all the way up in Japan. Been training over there, doing some small indy shows. Something to get myself re calibrated, y'know?
Well I think it's high time I come back. The WCF is like the fuckin mob man, every time I think I've left it pulls me back in. I've heard there's lots of new crazy talent running around and I wanna get in on that action. If I come back though, I would very much like to have my brother Polar by my side in my crusades.
And about that? I hear Corey is holding another XIII soon. It would be my honor if my first match back in WCF was with you. No bullshit, no feuding. Just two friends putting it all out there for the crowd. Because let's face it, if I'm crazy enough to come back, then I'm damn sure you're crazy ass wants back even more.
Lemme know when you've made your decision. I hope to see you soon.
Frank flashes one last quick smile before the video ends.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Scene: New Antarctica, living room. The decor is fairly classical, aside from the dining room table being a twelve-person custom holographic conference table... Crystal clutches Jeffrey to her chest, playfully jiggling the youngest Unstable Element as the four adults watch Frank's video message to Polar. As it ends, Polar shakes his head slightly.]
Phantasm: Frank's right. It's time I punched back into work.
[At this news, Nightmare blows a huff of air angrily.]
Nightmare: Can you at least pretend to acknowledge that I have been telling you THE EXACT SAME SHIT FOR A YEAR?
[Polar shrugs.]
Phantasm: I thought you just wanted to get back in the ring.
[He smiles at his angry bride- she struggles to keep a motherly grasp on her son due to her overwhelming desire to hit something.]
Nightmare: Alright, that's part of it- but he's right and so was I. Yeah, I'm pissed that I don't get to go back to work with you... but I'm not so pissed that I'm going to complain about you going back to work. Ugh.
Cornelius: If it helps, he ain't going back alone- we'll be there right around the way in Fleetwood if y'all ever need us.
Phantasm: Of course I'll need you. Cornelius, you're gonna be my manager.
[Cornelius and Angela both double-take.]
Angela: He's gonna be your manager? Then what the hell will I be doing?
Cornelius: Managin' my ass, I guess. I think I could get into this, for real. Be like the black Jim Cornette. I mean, I ain't sure I can hang in the ring with the WCF cats, but I can sure talk shit to 'em when you need a hype man.
Phantasm: You're god damn right you can. And I will totally need a hype man; something's gotta keep me hype, missin' my family and all.
Angela: Well, we were talking about heading back for Pennsylvania tomorrow-
[Nightmare sighs, standing. She heads off to put Jeffrey to bed... as she heads upstairs, she ominously says...]
Nightmare: Well, if he's going with you tomorrow then he's mine tonight. Brace yourselves. I'll be right back.
Jeffy: Good night Daddy! Good night Uncle Corny! Good night Aunt Angie!
Everybody: Good night Jeffy!
Angela: Your kid is so adorable.
[Polar smiles and nods.]
Phantasm: Yeah, I finally did something right, I guess. You two better make yourselves scarce, hide out in the guest room or something-
Cornelius: Yeah? I mean, y'all do what you feel-
Phantasm: No, trust me... I'm about to get laid like one of the two of us is going to prison afterwards, and as your friend I'm advising you to keep your hands and feet away from the Tazmanian Devil-like tornado that'll be coming down here after my bodily fluids.
[Angela is speechless; Cornelius just laughs. He heads toward the stairs to the basement, waving Angela toward him.]
Angela: Down there?
Phantasm: No, it's a good idea- that door locks from the inside. Remember; she can move like a god damn ninja... if you don't hear anything, you're still not safe. She could be riding me like-
Cornelius: Alright, B, we get the picture. Your old lady is a freak. Good on ya. Night, brah.
[Still laughing at Polar's diatribe, Cornelius leads his woman down to bed in a wrestling ring. Polar looks around cursively at his home, knowing his world is about to change again...]
Phantasm (whispered): I'm going home.
[...and, just like that, all the lights in the house go out. A low, mad cackle comes from above.]
Phantasm: Come and get me, you rough b-
[...and just as it was when the two first met, Phantasm and Nightmare begin a brutal violent struggle that always leads them to the others' heart.]
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NEXT: The Jade Empress of Fleetwood, Pennsylvania
[(c) Wrestling Championship Federation 2016. All rights reserved. Flashback segment (c) Global Extreme Wrestling 2016. The views of the Polar Phantasm are not those of WCF or any of its sponsors or affiliates.]
