Post by Logan on Mar 27, 2016 1:57:21 GMT -5
An old school white and black setup similar to the original Twilight Zone introduction plays over the screen. Logan steps into the shot, a lit cigarette in his hand.
Logan: A man deprived of victory, looking to regain some self-worth. Steve Orbit believed he was a winner.
He puffs the cigarette.
Logan: Until he met Logan. Ever since he has desperately agitated the bookers into one more match, just one more, like a herion addicted junk ready to blow at the first sign of dick. Will Steve’s desperation finally help him pick up a victory… or will he once again find his defeat…
Dramatic pause.
Logan: In the Connector Zone.
The scene opens up with Steve Orbit himself pushing a shopping cart inside a grocery store, he has a lady of the night from Club Violet with him – or what’s left of the place anyway. They stop in an aisle, the stripper begins reading a WCF magazine.
Stripper: Who comes up with these rankings?!
Steve Orbit: What rankings?
She shows him the WCF article from the magazine which says ‘WCF Legends.’
Stripper: You’re ranked number three, only because of your association of losing to Logan so much.
Steve Orbit: Gimmie that.
He pimp snatches the magazine out of her hands. His eyes light up.
Steve Orbit: Motherfuck. That’s bullshit. Even though I lost to that dude the last five times we been in the ring, I beat him like four years ago in a random Slam match. Why doesn’t anyone BUT ME ever mention that?
Stripper: What are we doing with all these bricks and mortar?
Steve Orbit: REBUILD. WE MUST.
Stripper: Rebuild what exactly? The only time that Club ever sees any action is when Logan blew it up.
Steve Orbit: Don’t even girl. I’m in a bad spot right now. Keep your fingers off my fuckin’ buttons.
Later on they move to the cashier with all their stuff in the cart. The cashier happens to be Logan. Steve Orbit’s eyes light up again.
Steve Orbit: Am I seeing shit – has this motherfuckin’ got in my head this bad?
Logan: Nope. I’m actually just here to further embarrass you. Here… watch..
Logan scans a bottle of lotion; however it doesn’t recognize the bar code.
Logan: Heh. Sorry guys. These dang machines. I imagine this stuff is for one of your girls, Orbit, you know from the burns and all?
Logan speaks into the cashier speaker after he fails to ring up the lotion.
Logan: Code 202. We have an error with the jobber cream.
He cuts the microphone. Orbit looks furious.
Logan: Steve, how much does this jobber cream cost? Ever since I stepped onto your comeback I’m surprised you aren’t buying this by bulk.
Steve Orbit: Motherfucker…
Finally an assistant comes to help Logan, that assistant is Dag Riddik. Dag comes onto the scene, takes a quick glance at Orbit, and quickly seems to have the situation figured out.
Dag Riddik: Sir…
Dag looks at Steve.
Dag Riddik: You cannot use food stamps to purchase lotion –
Logan: Jobber cream.
Steve Orbit: Do I look like a motherfucker that needs EBT you racist fuck?
Orbit adjusts his purple feather jacket.
Dag Riddik: Yes. Here we go… I swear to God if Al Sharpton shows up I am quitting this job today.
Logan: Relax, Dag. I can handle this.
Dag leaves the scene to go back to whatever he was doing (being the greatest International Champion probably).
Logan: Let’s just say this jobber cream…
Steve Orbit: Lotion.
Logan: Jobber cream.
Steve Orbit: LOTION.
Logan: JOBBER CREAM (beat you again bitch) … actually works. When you apply it does this somehow make it easier for you to show up on Slams after I beat you every week?
Orbit reaches out to grab Logan but his stripper talks him down.
Stripper: Save it for Explosion, baby.
Steve Orbit: THERE’S ABOUT TO BE AN EXPLOSION UP IN HERE!
Logan: Not quite like the one at Club Violet I suspect.
Orbit lunges over the counter and hits the scanner. It beeps. ‘Logan Jobber’ pops on the computer screen. Scene ends. We pick back up with Logan in front of the black and white Twilight Zone layout, puffing a cigarette.
Logan: A bottle of lotion. A one hit wonder far past his prime hoping to one day bathe in enough jobber cream to slip a victory past Logan. If only he read the bottle that showed the expiration date of 3/27/2016, which would also predict Steve Orbit’s own end… in the Connector Zone.
Logan: A man deprived of victory, looking to regain some self-worth. Steve Orbit believed he was a winner.
He puffs the cigarette.
Logan: Until he met Logan. Ever since he has desperately agitated the bookers into one more match, just one more, like a herion addicted junk ready to blow at the first sign of dick. Will Steve’s desperation finally help him pick up a victory… or will he once again find his defeat…
Dramatic pause.
Logan: In the Connector Zone.
The scene opens up with Steve Orbit himself pushing a shopping cart inside a grocery store, he has a lady of the night from Club Violet with him – or what’s left of the place anyway. They stop in an aisle, the stripper begins reading a WCF magazine.
Stripper: Who comes up with these rankings?!
Steve Orbit: What rankings?
She shows him the WCF article from the magazine which says ‘WCF Legends.’
Stripper: You’re ranked number three, only because of your association of losing to Logan so much.
Steve Orbit: Gimmie that.
He pimp snatches the magazine out of her hands. His eyes light up.
Steve Orbit: Motherfuck. That’s bullshit. Even though I lost to that dude the last five times we been in the ring, I beat him like four years ago in a random Slam match. Why doesn’t anyone BUT ME ever mention that?
Stripper: What are we doing with all these bricks and mortar?
Steve Orbit: REBUILD. WE MUST.
Stripper: Rebuild what exactly? The only time that Club ever sees any action is when Logan blew it up.
Steve Orbit: Don’t even girl. I’m in a bad spot right now. Keep your fingers off my fuckin’ buttons.
Later on they move to the cashier with all their stuff in the cart. The cashier happens to be Logan. Steve Orbit’s eyes light up again.
Steve Orbit: Am I seeing shit – has this motherfuckin’ got in my head this bad?
Logan: Nope. I’m actually just here to further embarrass you. Here… watch..
Logan scans a bottle of lotion; however it doesn’t recognize the bar code.
Logan: Heh. Sorry guys. These dang machines. I imagine this stuff is for one of your girls, Orbit, you know from the burns and all?
Logan speaks into the cashier speaker after he fails to ring up the lotion.
Logan: Code 202. We have an error with the jobber cream.
He cuts the microphone. Orbit looks furious.
Logan: Steve, how much does this jobber cream cost? Ever since I stepped onto your comeback I’m surprised you aren’t buying this by bulk.
Steve Orbit: Motherfucker…
Finally an assistant comes to help Logan, that assistant is Dag Riddik. Dag comes onto the scene, takes a quick glance at Orbit, and quickly seems to have the situation figured out.
Dag Riddik: Sir…
Dag looks at Steve.
Dag Riddik: You cannot use food stamps to purchase lotion –
Logan: Jobber cream.
Steve Orbit: Do I look like a motherfucker that needs EBT you racist fuck?
Orbit adjusts his purple feather jacket.
Dag Riddik: Yes. Here we go… I swear to God if Al Sharpton shows up I am quitting this job today.
Logan: Relax, Dag. I can handle this.
Dag leaves the scene to go back to whatever he was doing (being the greatest International Champion probably).
Logan: Let’s just say this jobber cream…
Steve Orbit: Lotion.
Logan: Jobber cream.
Steve Orbit: LOTION.
Logan: JOBBER CREAM (beat you again bitch) … actually works. When you apply it does this somehow make it easier for you to show up on Slams after I beat you every week?
Orbit reaches out to grab Logan but his stripper talks him down.
Stripper: Save it for Explosion, baby.
Steve Orbit: THERE’S ABOUT TO BE AN EXPLOSION UP IN HERE!
Logan: Not quite like the one at Club Violet I suspect.
Orbit lunges over the counter and hits the scanner. It beeps. ‘Logan Jobber’ pops on the computer screen. Scene ends. We pick back up with Logan in front of the black and white Twilight Zone layout, puffing a cigarette.
Logan: A bottle of lotion. A one hit wonder far past his prime hoping to one day bathe in enough jobber cream to slip a victory past Logan. If only he read the bottle that showed the expiration date of 3/27/2016, which would also predict Steve Orbit’s own end… in the Connector Zone.
