Post by occulo on Mar 5, 2016 15:28:32 GMT -5
Occulo stormed forward, kicking a lump of earth across the ground.
Itami: Temper, my wisp
He turned around and stared up in to Itami’s eyes
Occulo: I’ll give you temper, and stop calling me a wisp. I should not have lost that match with Atreyu. Do you realise Itami, do you realise how much I’ve completely underachieved? I’ve won a United States title and a Trios Title. That’s it. Look, I’m willing to take on this new style of fighting, and I appreciate that I shouldn’t be thinking about belts and titles, but you have to understand that they are the only barometer of success and that I’m not just wasting my career.
Itami: Fight the way we teach you, and they will come.
Occulo: I hope you’re right. So, you gonna teach me how to fight or do I have to stand under that cloud again?
Itami: Yes, yes I think that would do you good.
Occulo: What?! You said twenty four hours would do it.
Itami: Yes. Yet here you are still talking about the material gain of what you do.
Occulo sighs and heads over to the middle of the village, sitting down under cloud.
Good.
Itami nods and heads in to a small building to the right
Occulo: Well this is going well. Apparently I can’t even sit under a cloud right. Well, sitting here with an open mind seemed to work
last time, so Beachkrew, you didn’t get enough first time around, so let’s roll.
6ix God, how’s fulfilling my prophecy going? I see you’re still as terrible as I said you were, and evidently so is your little band of brothers. You lose, again, and there you are filling Twitter up with your absolutely ridiculous drivel. You know it was thoroughly enjoyable letting the world of social networking know just how badly their acronym wielding idols failed them. Joey wins the world title with a new move yet all you could do was hide under your jealously and burning envy by reducing it to a #botcheddroptoehold. You fucking disgusting little rat. You’re a whiny child who can’t get what he wants, so instead of being proactive and working hard to obtain it he just throws all his toys out the pram and has a little hashtag hissy fit. Here’s the reality buddy, you’re absolutely clueless. You are. You sitting there with your mask on, on your throne but really you have absolutely no idea whatsoever what you’re doing. You’re a complete laughing stock. Everybody is laughing at BeachKrew and the good thing for you is that we can’t see tears through a mask. You wanted to be giants standing over a burning world but all you are a defeated band of wannabe revolutionaries hunched together around a campfire. How long 6ix? How long are you going to weigh your people down? How long are you going to hold them back from achieving they are capable of? How long is it going to be before you understand that all you are is a pathetic little man that is terrified of being left behind and forgotten about? Failure is all you are ever going to know. Nothing whatsoever has changed since our last match. Moor, Beaver and Rabid need to understand how utterly misguided you are. I pray that one day they will.
He relaxes back on the ground and smiles up at the cloud
Fucking Johnny Rabid. You stupid tool. You weak-minded, pretentious little cunt. You have some issue with me when all I do is speak the truth. So why are you so tied in to Beachkrew? Do you honestly think your kid is going to be proud of a man that is spending his professional career in a group called BEACH…CREW?! What a joke. #LMFAO as big strong daddy Rabid would put it. When your kid is all grown up and standing over your grave, with his kid by his side what is he going to say?
“Look son, this is your Grandfather’s grave”
“Wow…tell me all about the great things he did Daddy”
Then the awkward silence would be as vast and empty as BeachKrew’s realistic ambitions. Because you never are going to do anything remotely definable as great. You’ve cemented that with your empty allegiance. You’re weak. You’re too stupid to follow your own path so you do it with a bunch of hashtagging children. I bet your Dorian has more balls than you. More spine. More dignity. Vastly more intelligence. More integrity. He’ll take after his mother because why the fuck would he even want to be one percent like you? I hope for the love of God he doesn’t share your looks too. What little hope he has would be well and truly out the window there.
So what’s it gonna be Rabid? What shit are you going to talk about me? Are you going to clutch at straws and tell me how I’m the “weak link” in the team? How I’m being “carried” by them? How cute of you. How obvious of you. How WRONG of you. It is just far too easy to throw that book at me. Because perhaps I haven’t achieved as much as Flash and Dune, that I am punching above my weight by having them at my side. But you know what Rabid? I have achieved ENOUGH here for them to consider me a viable partner, who is strong enough to stand in battle by their side. They see me as a man with sense, with a strong character and guess what Rabid, I also have at least half a brain. Since you don’t fit in to ANY of those categories than you’ll never truly understand companionship, and you’ll always just be “yeah that guy in beachkrew, whatever his name is”, part of the furniture. The funny thing is Rabid, the questions and opinions you have about my part in this team are most probably the same questions and opinions your team has about you. Think about that.
Dustin, we meet AGAIN. Are you getting as sick and tired of it as I am? The last time we met was the Battle Royal wasn’t it? Where you put an embarrassingly poor performance in, even by your standards. What do I have to say to you? Well nothing I said in our other thirty matches in the past few months. Fuck you. That’ll do.
Psyche! Sorry Dustin, there’s more I gotta say to you. I want to know what exactly you are doing at the moment. Is it interesting? Is it promoting any form of proactivity whatsoever? Or are you STILL just staring at the mirror, desperately and intricately searching for any signs of imperfection as if checking balls for cancer, knowing that as soon as your looks go that’s it, you’ve lost the only thing you had going for you. Your career has died in its infancy. But its resurrection is not beyond all realms of possibility Dustin. I’m going to put it out there, although it is probably foolish of me, and say you’d probably do well if you just detached yourself from that shower of shite and took your career seriously. What have you got to lose? You are young, athletic and you’ve proven you can handle yourself in the ring. So why, oh why do you waste yourself before you’ve even reached the peak of your career? It’s infuriating.
You don’t even remotely fit in to BeachKrew. I mean 6ix God, Wade Moor and Rabid are all fucking retarded weirdos who attempt to be all mysterious and omnipotent and dark yet behave like thirteen year old boys on the internet who think they’re hilarious…but you’re just a normal kid. You came into the fed with a massive, inflated ego thinking you’re going to take down the fed with nothing but your youthful cynicism, but you took a couple of beatings and suddenly you felt alone, along came BeachKrew and you just acted on stupid impulse and with bag on head, nestled yourself under their wing. But you’re in the tournament for a contendor’s shot Dustin, you’ve got confidence back. You can make it on your own but you’re too afraid to show the world. You’re a pathetic coward who just wants the easy life. You’re too lazy and ignorant to strain yourself and work hard. You’ll always be the boy and never the man. You’re your own worst enemy who just runs to mummy Beachkrew when one of the big boys calls you a name. It’s so fucking sad Dustin. When Beachkrew finally implode under the weight of their own shit you’ll be suddenly cast in to the big wide world of the WCF all on your own…and it will swallow you whole and spit you out, showing the world what you really are. A crying toddler sucking its thumb begging for another wing to nestle in to. This is where your mettle will be tested, and because it hasn’t strengthened through independent struggle, it will break like tissue paper and you’ll be finished. RIP Dustin Beaver.
So that brings us finally to Wade Moor. I go from a guy I’ve faced time and time again to a guy I’ve never had the pleasure in facing before. So Wade, a former World Champions. A chubby guy with facial hair who came from the water…Wade Moor’s a fuckin sea lion. You had your brief spell as world champ which…was brief and since then you’ve had several rematches for it as #BeachKrew needs a member who is consistently in contention for the top belt in the company. Right? Oh! No of course. You and your guys don’t actually give a fuck about actually wrestling, as long as you can “win” on Twitter then that’s all that matters. So what have you done since your spell as World Champ? Did the man bred in water suffer from a fear of such lofty heights? Afraid to reach out a hand in hope to dance with the best in the company again because you don’t want to humiliate yourself and tarnish the name of BeachKrew? You’ve become washed up (there’s a fucking intended pun for you) and that’s where you’ll remain. Count yourself out of ever holding that belt ever again, because your ambition has gone. Your hopes have gone. Your Krew is all you have. But don’t worry Wade, because ice caps are going to melt and soon the whole world will drown and finally you’ll have the domination you always dreamed of. Until then you can be very much in the driving seat of the ever hastening decline of BeachKrew.
You’ve successfully created the air of mystery that you want to bring to the company Wade, yes, alas, something you’ve actually done right!! In a sense anyway, in that it is a complete and utter mystery as to how the hell you all manage to main event so often. Fuckin X-Files shit. One theory is that the real main eventers, The Sentinels just need someone to job every week. Who better than your bunch of unsuccessful births? You’ve gone from world champion to a jobber. Oblivion, one of the biggest jobbers in the company even felt embarrassed to be associated with you. He wanted to job on his own. What a trooper. At least if you fill that role on your own it at least looks like you tried.
Flash in the fucking pan Wade Moor. You should feel a sense of honour Wade that I actually remembered you were champ. There’s a gameshow in the UK called “Pointless” where the contestants are given a category, and they have to give the most obscure answer that the fewest amount of people in the survey said. There was a category “WCF World Champions”. This fuckin ugly housewife and her friendless son screwed up their faces and went “I’m going to take a massive risk here, but I’m going to say….Wade Moor?”. The fuckin line went all the way down to zero. None out of 100 people said your name. They showed the list of names afterwards, people like Corey Black and Joey Flash getting in the high 80’s then there you were. Big fat fucking zero. Pointless, fucking damn right. Obscure, absolutely. Nobody remembers it Wade. It’s totally insignificant. You’re insignificant. You’re basically a kid in the audience with an arm growing out of his face or something that gets to hold the title belt for a minute whilst they have a selfie with a wrestler. Actually at least that kid has achieved more than you and sure as hell as a lot more fight.
Occulo suddenly felt extremely lightheaded. The cloud glowed an even brighter white, and he slips into unconsciousness.
Wake up, Occulo.
He opens his eyes and finds himself surrounded by a complete white void. He sits up and gets to his feet. Stood opposite him, but
facing away from him, is a small…elderly man with both hands in fists meeting behind his back. He is wearing a yellow robe with thick red rims, as well as a similarly coloured hat.
Occulo: Who…who are you?
The man turns around. His pale skin is heavily wrinkled, with his thick white beard tied towards the tip in to a small, puffy white wisp.
Hige: My name is Hige. I am the elder of the Single Cloud.
Occulo: Oh! It’s…
He bows for a few seconds and rights again
…an honour to meet you Sir.
Hige: Likewise. You are the answer, and the answer has brought great happiness to the village.
Occulo: About that, please Sir…tell me…what am I the answer to?
Hige: It is not the time to tell you. Please, show patience with this my wisp.
Occulo stares at the sky and then down at the ground. His eyes widen with fear as he realises he is standing about a hundred feet
above the village.
Occulo: What…am…are we in the cloud?
Hige: Yes, yes we are. You showed great discipline, waiting for it to embrace you. Alas, it has. Tell me child, how was the wine?
Occulo: The wine? It was…it was fantastic Sir.
Hige: Ah, good. I made it. It delights me that it hasn’t turned sour.
Occulo: Sir, now that the cloud has embraced me, am I ready to start training?
Hige: Yes. At least, until you have carried out one task for me.
Occulo: Oh? What would you like me to do?
Hige: Two miles from here is Lake Pāru. Deep, deep under its surface in a chest is your Gi.
Occulo: My Gi? I was already given-
Hige: The Gi Itami gave you?
He laughs under a palmed hand
No, you will see the Gi I send you after will be of much necessity.
Occulo: Alright
Hige: Be aware though my wisp. The Gi is of considerable weight. It will take a considerable amount of strength to lift it from the depths of the lake.
Occulo: Got it. Anything else I need to know?
Hige: Oh, you may face a band of three men who dwell near the lake and attack any passers-by. They may a prove good test for you. If you manage to defeat them and bring the Gi back from the lake, you are ready to begin training.
Occulo: Yes. I am ready Sir.
Hige: Good.
He raises both arms with a creak and Occulo wakes up on the ground, staring up at the cloud. He hops to his feet and notices Itami heading towards him.
Occulo: Itami, I spoke with Hige.
Itami: Good, then the cloud has embraced you.
Occulo: Yes, it has. In what direction is the lake?
Itami: To acquire the Gi…yes. Head south.
He points in the direction they are facing and Occulo sprints off down the path, raising a hand to Itami who smiles proudly.
Occulo arrives at a grassy bank which he enthusiastically sprints to the top of. As he reaches the apex he stares at the beautiful lake Pāru. It was nor vastly big or small, but had the most beautiful clear water. Trees ran across the whole perimeter of the lake, and opposite Occulo a stream ran in to it. The clearing where Occulo stood was the only break in the tree line.
Hey boy! Hope you ain’t goin’ swimming after dinner!
A topless figure in bright purple pants jumps down from a tree above Occulo and lands with a thud about 8 feet in front of him. He was well toned, and his brown hair was slicked back. He wore a single yellow flower in his ear.
Occulo: And you are?
Who am I? You can call me…Bustin’ Diva.
Occulo: Bustin’ Diva…
Bustin: Yeah! That’s me, what’s your name? In fact, you know what who cares? Whoever finds your body in the lake can identify
you.
He drops to the floor and starts rolling around laughing
Voice: Damn it Bustin, you know one day you’re gonna get yourself killed by your lack of focus!!
Another man jumps down. This man has long hair entwined with reed he is wearing bright yellow shorts and flip flops.
Occulo: …
Voice: Sup bitch? You come to take on the lake boyz? Get up Bustin’.
Bustin gets to his feet
Bustin: Sorry boss.
Occulo: Fuckin losers
Bustin: Don’t be rude boss, introduce yourself to this little bitch
Voice: Oh, fuckin apologies. My name boy is Whyte Rabidz. Me and my boy Bustin been beatin up fuckboys for months! That lake
teaming with bodies.
Bustin: Hey boy, you suddenly got that SINKIN’ feeling?!
They both high five and drop the ground, rolling around laughing
Occulo: Fuck sake….
Suddenly the sound of a dull groan fills the air. Bustin and Rabidz get to their feet with almost regimental precision and adopt stern
facial expressions.
Bustin: He’s fucked no-
Rabidz: Sssh!
Occulo watches on as a grotesque, chubby hand breaches the surface of the lake and flops on to the dusty ground, followed by another. A head with long dark hair and bushy beard slowly rises up as what can only be described as a humanoid blob crawls out of the lake and flicks its hair back, sending an arc of water back into the lake. Bustin and Rabidz quickly stand at either side of the figure. Bustin raises one arm and outstretches the other, creating an L shape whilst Rabidz does the same, trying somehow to form the letter B.
Bustin: Traveller! Walker! Hikers alike!
Rabidz: Get outta here, get on ya bike!
Bustin: Lake Boyz sending ya to your watery depths
Rabidz: Where you’ll drown…and…stop breathing…and…die
Bustin: ….
Blob: …
Occulo: …
Bustin and Rabidz: YEAH!! Now…
Bustin and Rabidz crouch down and hold their hands out towards their friend, as he rises they do also whilst chanting
Bustin and Rabidz: Amorphous…Amorphous Blob…Amorphous…Amorphous Blob
Amorphous is now upright and staring directly into Occulo’s eyes whilst Bustin and Rabidz stand by his side, their eyes bright.
Occulo: …
Amorphous: …
Bustin: …
Rabidz: …
Rabidz awkwardly looks at Bustin who responds with a glance of his own. They talk to each other in muffled voices.
Bustin: It’s not my turn!
Rabidz: It is come on…you know he’ll dry out especially in this heat
Bustin: Fuck sake Rabidz
Bustin hesitantly steps up to the water’s edge and starts flinging handfuls of water over Amorphous.
Amorphous: Thank you my child. Now, prepare yourself for the greatness of Lake Boyz going to smash your skull down your throat
Occulo: Well, go ahead.
Amorphous: What?
Occulo: Come on. Let’s go.
Bustin: Uh…
Amorphous: Don’t you know who I am? I lived in the village from whence you probably came. I was fighting champion there…I was a
brute! I was hailed as the greatest fighting champion!!
Occulo: Oh? Then what happened? I haven’t heard you mentioned whilst I’ve been there
Amorphous: Well…I’ve assembled my Lake Boyz, ready to attack the village and dominate!!
Occulo: Really, against people like Itami and Akuma, you’re going to dominate.
Amorphous: Yes! Because we are Lake Boyz!! Itami?? Akuma??....boys?
All 3 men drop down to the ground and roll around laughing.
Occulo: Wow. I don’t think you could even beat me let alone Itami and Akuma
Rabidz: Uh oh
Bustin: Oh crap…boss…no!!
Amorphous starts rolling around laughing again until we hear a sickening squelch
Occulo: Oh…oh my word…
Rabidz: It happened again
Bustin: He laughed his ass off
Amorphous is on his side, his ass well and truly detached from his body. From his body pours out a thick brown liquid.
Occulo: What the hell is that? It smells like…
Bustin: Shit…yeah…he’s full of shit
Occulo brutally kicks Amorphous’s torso into the lake sending the shit spraying everywhere.
Rabidz: No!!
Occulo: So are we going to fight or what?
Bustin: Ermm…one minute
They turn their backs to Occulo
Rabidz: He actually wants to fight. What do we do? By now whoever we’ve faced has just run away or at least not bothered to
carry on
Bustin: I know! Talking and rolling around laughing is all we can do…LakeBoyz are all talk. We can’t fight for shit…
Occulo: Excuse me. I haven’t got all day.
Rabidz: There’s only one thing we can do
Bustin: You mean…the has-
Rabidz: Ssh!
Bustin spins Rabidz around and they both face Occulo
Occulo: Well?
Rabidz: Are you ready for our greatest weapon? Our most fierce...our…only attack?!
Occulo: Go on…
Rabidz and Bustin grin and climb up the trees. A couple of minutes later a brown sack falls from the branches and lands where they were standing. They jump down and open the bag, taking out a small blade. Occulo adopts a defensive stance.
Rabidz: This…this is our greatest and only weapon…the only thing we use to defeat our opponents once and for all…
Bustin: It’s called…
Bustin and Rabidz: The Hasht Ag.
Occulo: …
Bustin throws the Hasht Ag towards Occulo. It’s point drives straight into Occulo’s chest!!!! And feebly bounces off to the ground as
if it were a paper aeroplane.
Your Hasht Ags don’t exactly cut deep do they? So that’s all LakeBoyz have? Weak, pathetic and ineffective Hasht Ags?
Bustin and Rabidz drop to their knees
Bustin: Please!! Please don’t hurt us, we don’t wanna fight. We can’t fight. All we are a bunch of terrible fighters who seek solace and love in each other’s mediocrity.
Rabidz: Yeah! We’re awful! Our boss Sticks God made us do it! We just blindly follow his orders because we’re too stupid and scared to follow our own paths! We lack the balls to make our own decisions!
Occulo: You sound like you don’t need a boss, you need a fucking mother. Pathetic childish cunts.
Occulo runs at them and delivers a stiff kick to Bustin’s temple. Rabidz gets up but Occulo manages to grab his hand and pull him
towards him, driving his elbow into his throat leaving him spluttering and coughing up blood on the ground.
Sorry LakeBoyz, but if talking and laughing and Hasht Ags are literally all you have, nobody is ever going to take you seriously. Maybe try and actually learn how to fight. Just a suggestion.
He delivers a final swift kick to the back of Rabidz’s head, who collides with Bustin. They both slump to the ground unconscious.
Well if that was your test Hige, I don’t think I have much to worry about going forward.
He makes his way up to the edge of the lake, removing his clothes as he does so.
Alright, let’s get that Gi.
He dives in and swims to the centre of the lake, before plunging under the surface. He scans the floor for the chest but struggles to see anything other than rocks and bed plants. No sign of them bodies, LakeBoyz. He looks around for a few more seconds and returns to the surface for some air. How long has the chest been there? It must be centuries. The chest could be buried under feet of silt. He takes a deep breath and plunges down towards the bed of the lake. He quickly scans around looking for any sign of the chest. No luck.
Occulo: Where the hell is it?
He swims back up and breaches the surface again. This isn’t going to be as easy as it just being there. There’s a reason this is a test. He stared across the sky and saw the cloud in the distance above the village. He then began to wonder…
Becoming one with the cloud brought me my answer. Perhaps if I do the same with the lake, it to will reap a reward.
He realised then he had to trust it. Just like he stepped through the flames in the village without it taking his life, had to believe that the lake would do the same. He remembered Itami’s words, that he had to let nature course through his veins and show him the way. Impulse and desire for material gain would get him nowhere. He closed his eyes and exhaled all his breath, before again plunging and swimming to the very depths of the lake. He felt his lungs starting to burn, the adrenalin started to surge through his veins as the last of his oxygen left his body. The survival instinct tried its absolute damned hardest to pull him towards the surface to salvation.
Occulo: Come on…come on…hold on...
His lungs now burned with excruciating pain. He shook his head and clenched his fists.
No….no….
A few seconds later the pain just…vanished. The adrenalin dissipated and the fear floated away. His fists unclenched and he opened his eyes. Sat a foot or two in front of him was a beautiful wooden chest. He smiled and grabbed it, rotating it so he could open it. The chest was made of beautiful dark brown Jezo Spruce wood and shiny cast iron. It had “Single Cloud” engraved on the iron near the lip. He grabbed it in his hands and tried to pull it off the ground. No avail. It weighed an absolute tonne. He lifted the lid and inside was the Gi neatly folded. He grabbed it and swam towards the surface. It was very heavy, nigh on exhausting him as he got closer and closer to the sunlight. He breached the surface and with a yell threw the Gi on to the bank. It landed with a heavy thud. He took a few deep breaths and crawled on to the bank, lying on his back lethargically.
Occulo: Okay…okay Hige…that was a pretty good test.
He sat up and checked out the Gi. It was absolutely beautiful. The material was made out of thick, black leather like material and bore the trademarks of absolutely prime craftsmanship. The rims of the Gi were a sky blue colour and were made out of a different material, which he couldn’t quite define. It fell below his knees and it felt like his body weight had been doubled, like gravity had suddenly multiplied. Inside a pocket on the right hand side was a dead but perfectly preserved black snake, but its head was severed, instead was a white, metallic head. He held it aloft and then realised its purpose. He wrapped it around his waist and inserted the tail into the snake’s mouth, its fangs snapped shut on the tail, holding the Gi tightly closed around his body.
Occulo: This is awesome
He walked past Rabidz and Bustin who were still laid unconscious on the ground. His journey back to the village was considerably slower, but as soon as he set foot in the village with a deep, exhausted breath, he heard exactly what he wanted to hear.
Itami: Excellent work Occulo. Now, let your training begin.
CUT
Itami: Temper, my wisp
He turned around and stared up in to Itami’s eyes
Occulo: I’ll give you temper, and stop calling me a wisp. I should not have lost that match with Atreyu. Do you realise Itami, do you realise how much I’ve completely underachieved? I’ve won a United States title and a Trios Title. That’s it. Look, I’m willing to take on this new style of fighting, and I appreciate that I shouldn’t be thinking about belts and titles, but you have to understand that they are the only barometer of success and that I’m not just wasting my career.
Itami: Fight the way we teach you, and they will come.
Occulo: I hope you’re right. So, you gonna teach me how to fight or do I have to stand under that cloud again?
Itami: Yes, yes I think that would do you good.
Occulo: What?! You said twenty four hours would do it.
Itami: Yes. Yet here you are still talking about the material gain of what you do.
Occulo sighs and heads over to the middle of the village, sitting down under cloud.
Good.
Itami nods and heads in to a small building to the right
Occulo: Well this is going well. Apparently I can’t even sit under a cloud right. Well, sitting here with an open mind seemed to work
last time, so Beachkrew, you didn’t get enough first time around, so let’s roll.
6ix God, how’s fulfilling my prophecy going? I see you’re still as terrible as I said you were, and evidently so is your little band of brothers. You lose, again, and there you are filling Twitter up with your absolutely ridiculous drivel. You know it was thoroughly enjoyable letting the world of social networking know just how badly their acronym wielding idols failed them. Joey wins the world title with a new move yet all you could do was hide under your jealously and burning envy by reducing it to a #botcheddroptoehold. You fucking disgusting little rat. You’re a whiny child who can’t get what he wants, so instead of being proactive and working hard to obtain it he just throws all his toys out the pram and has a little hashtag hissy fit. Here’s the reality buddy, you’re absolutely clueless. You are. You sitting there with your mask on, on your throne but really you have absolutely no idea whatsoever what you’re doing. You’re a complete laughing stock. Everybody is laughing at BeachKrew and the good thing for you is that we can’t see tears through a mask. You wanted to be giants standing over a burning world but all you are a defeated band of wannabe revolutionaries hunched together around a campfire. How long 6ix? How long are you going to weigh your people down? How long are you going to hold them back from achieving they are capable of? How long is it going to be before you understand that all you are is a pathetic little man that is terrified of being left behind and forgotten about? Failure is all you are ever going to know. Nothing whatsoever has changed since our last match. Moor, Beaver and Rabid need to understand how utterly misguided you are. I pray that one day they will.
He relaxes back on the ground and smiles up at the cloud
Fucking Johnny Rabid. You stupid tool. You weak-minded, pretentious little cunt. You have some issue with me when all I do is speak the truth. So why are you so tied in to Beachkrew? Do you honestly think your kid is going to be proud of a man that is spending his professional career in a group called BEACH…CREW?! What a joke. #LMFAO as big strong daddy Rabid would put it. When your kid is all grown up and standing over your grave, with his kid by his side what is he going to say?
“Look son, this is your Grandfather’s grave”
“Wow…tell me all about the great things he did Daddy”
Then the awkward silence would be as vast and empty as BeachKrew’s realistic ambitions. Because you never are going to do anything remotely definable as great. You’ve cemented that with your empty allegiance. You’re weak. You’re too stupid to follow your own path so you do it with a bunch of hashtagging children. I bet your Dorian has more balls than you. More spine. More dignity. Vastly more intelligence. More integrity. He’ll take after his mother because why the fuck would he even want to be one percent like you? I hope for the love of God he doesn’t share your looks too. What little hope he has would be well and truly out the window there.
So what’s it gonna be Rabid? What shit are you going to talk about me? Are you going to clutch at straws and tell me how I’m the “weak link” in the team? How I’m being “carried” by them? How cute of you. How obvious of you. How WRONG of you. It is just far too easy to throw that book at me. Because perhaps I haven’t achieved as much as Flash and Dune, that I am punching above my weight by having them at my side. But you know what Rabid? I have achieved ENOUGH here for them to consider me a viable partner, who is strong enough to stand in battle by their side. They see me as a man with sense, with a strong character and guess what Rabid, I also have at least half a brain. Since you don’t fit in to ANY of those categories than you’ll never truly understand companionship, and you’ll always just be “yeah that guy in beachkrew, whatever his name is”, part of the furniture. The funny thing is Rabid, the questions and opinions you have about my part in this team are most probably the same questions and opinions your team has about you. Think about that.
Dustin, we meet AGAIN. Are you getting as sick and tired of it as I am? The last time we met was the Battle Royal wasn’t it? Where you put an embarrassingly poor performance in, even by your standards. What do I have to say to you? Well nothing I said in our other thirty matches in the past few months. Fuck you. That’ll do.
Psyche! Sorry Dustin, there’s more I gotta say to you. I want to know what exactly you are doing at the moment. Is it interesting? Is it promoting any form of proactivity whatsoever? Or are you STILL just staring at the mirror, desperately and intricately searching for any signs of imperfection as if checking balls for cancer, knowing that as soon as your looks go that’s it, you’ve lost the only thing you had going for you. Your career has died in its infancy. But its resurrection is not beyond all realms of possibility Dustin. I’m going to put it out there, although it is probably foolish of me, and say you’d probably do well if you just detached yourself from that shower of shite and took your career seriously. What have you got to lose? You are young, athletic and you’ve proven you can handle yourself in the ring. So why, oh why do you waste yourself before you’ve even reached the peak of your career? It’s infuriating.
You don’t even remotely fit in to BeachKrew. I mean 6ix God, Wade Moor and Rabid are all fucking retarded weirdos who attempt to be all mysterious and omnipotent and dark yet behave like thirteen year old boys on the internet who think they’re hilarious…but you’re just a normal kid. You came into the fed with a massive, inflated ego thinking you’re going to take down the fed with nothing but your youthful cynicism, but you took a couple of beatings and suddenly you felt alone, along came BeachKrew and you just acted on stupid impulse and with bag on head, nestled yourself under their wing. But you’re in the tournament for a contendor’s shot Dustin, you’ve got confidence back. You can make it on your own but you’re too afraid to show the world. You’re a pathetic coward who just wants the easy life. You’re too lazy and ignorant to strain yourself and work hard. You’ll always be the boy and never the man. You’re your own worst enemy who just runs to mummy Beachkrew when one of the big boys calls you a name. It’s so fucking sad Dustin. When Beachkrew finally implode under the weight of their own shit you’ll be suddenly cast in to the big wide world of the WCF all on your own…and it will swallow you whole and spit you out, showing the world what you really are. A crying toddler sucking its thumb begging for another wing to nestle in to. This is where your mettle will be tested, and because it hasn’t strengthened through independent struggle, it will break like tissue paper and you’ll be finished. RIP Dustin Beaver.
So that brings us finally to Wade Moor. I go from a guy I’ve faced time and time again to a guy I’ve never had the pleasure in facing before. So Wade, a former World Champions. A chubby guy with facial hair who came from the water…Wade Moor’s a fuckin sea lion. You had your brief spell as world champ which…was brief and since then you’ve had several rematches for it as #BeachKrew needs a member who is consistently in contention for the top belt in the company. Right? Oh! No of course. You and your guys don’t actually give a fuck about actually wrestling, as long as you can “win” on Twitter then that’s all that matters. So what have you done since your spell as World Champ? Did the man bred in water suffer from a fear of such lofty heights? Afraid to reach out a hand in hope to dance with the best in the company again because you don’t want to humiliate yourself and tarnish the name of BeachKrew? You’ve become washed up (there’s a fucking intended pun for you) and that’s where you’ll remain. Count yourself out of ever holding that belt ever again, because your ambition has gone. Your hopes have gone. Your Krew is all you have. But don’t worry Wade, because ice caps are going to melt and soon the whole world will drown and finally you’ll have the domination you always dreamed of. Until then you can be very much in the driving seat of the ever hastening decline of BeachKrew.
You’ve successfully created the air of mystery that you want to bring to the company Wade, yes, alas, something you’ve actually done right!! In a sense anyway, in that it is a complete and utter mystery as to how the hell you all manage to main event so often. Fuckin X-Files shit. One theory is that the real main eventers, The Sentinels just need someone to job every week. Who better than your bunch of unsuccessful births? You’ve gone from world champion to a jobber. Oblivion, one of the biggest jobbers in the company even felt embarrassed to be associated with you. He wanted to job on his own. What a trooper. At least if you fill that role on your own it at least looks like you tried.
Flash in the fucking pan Wade Moor. You should feel a sense of honour Wade that I actually remembered you were champ. There’s a gameshow in the UK called “Pointless” where the contestants are given a category, and they have to give the most obscure answer that the fewest amount of people in the survey said. There was a category “WCF World Champions”. This fuckin ugly housewife and her friendless son screwed up their faces and went “I’m going to take a massive risk here, but I’m going to say….Wade Moor?”. The fuckin line went all the way down to zero. None out of 100 people said your name. They showed the list of names afterwards, people like Corey Black and Joey Flash getting in the high 80’s then there you were. Big fat fucking zero. Pointless, fucking damn right. Obscure, absolutely. Nobody remembers it Wade. It’s totally insignificant. You’re insignificant. You’re basically a kid in the audience with an arm growing out of his face or something that gets to hold the title belt for a minute whilst they have a selfie with a wrestler. Actually at least that kid has achieved more than you and sure as hell as a lot more fight.
Occulo suddenly felt extremely lightheaded. The cloud glowed an even brighter white, and he slips into unconsciousness.
Wake up, Occulo.
He opens his eyes and finds himself surrounded by a complete white void. He sits up and gets to his feet. Stood opposite him, but
facing away from him, is a small…elderly man with both hands in fists meeting behind his back. He is wearing a yellow robe with thick red rims, as well as a similarly coloured hat.
Occulo: Who…who are you?
The man turns around. His pale skin is heavily wrinkled, with his thick white beard tied towards the tip in to a small, puffy white wisp.
Hige: My name is Hige. I am the elder of the Single Cloud.
Occulo: Oh! It’s…
He bows for a few seconds and rights again
…an honour to meet you Sir.
Hige: Likewise. You are the answer, and the answer has brought great happiness to the village.
Occulo: About that, please Sir…tell me…what am I the answer to?
Hige: It is not the time to tell you. Please, show patience with this my wisp.
Occulo stares at the sky and then down at the ground. His eyes widen with fear as he realises he is standing about a hundred feet
above the village.
Occulo: What…am…are we in the cloud?
Hige: Yes, yes we are. You showed great discipline, waiting for it to embrace you. Alas, it has. Tell me child, how was the wine?
Occulo: The wine? It was…it was fantastic Sir.
Hige: Ah, good. I made it. It delights me that it hasn’t turned sour.
Occulo: Sir, now that the cloud has embraced me, am I ready to start training?
Hige: Yes. At least, until you have carried out one task for me.
Occulo: Oh? What would you like me to do?
Hige: Two miles from here is Lake Pāru. Deep, deep under its surface in a chest is your Gi.
Occulo: My Gi? I was already given-
Hige: The Gi Itami gave you?
He laughs under a palmed hand
No, you will see the Gi I send you after will be of much necessity.
Occulo: Alright
Hige: Be aware though my wisp. The Gi is of considerable weight. It will take a considerable amount of strength to lift it from the depths of the lake.
Occulo: Got it. Anything else I need to know?
Hige: Oh, you may face a band of three men who dwell near the lake and attack any passers-by. They may a prove good test for you. If you manage to defeat them and bring the Gi back from the lake, you are ready to begin training.
Occulo: Yes. I am ready Sir.
Hige: Good.
He raises both arms with a creak and Occulo wakes up on the ground, staring up at the cloud. He hops to his feet and notices Itami heading towards him.
Occulo: Itami, I spoke with Hige.
Itami: Good, then the cloud has embraced you.
Occulo: Yes, it has. In what direction is the lake?
Itami: To acquire the Gi…yes. Head south.
He points in the direction they are facing and Occulo sprints off down the path, raising a hand to Itami who smiles proudly.
Occulo arrives at a grassy bank which he enthusiastically sprints to the top of. As he reaches the apex he stares at the beautiful lake Pāru. It was nor vastly big or small, but had the most beautiful clear water. Trees ran across the whole perimeter of the lake, and opposite Occulo a stream ran in to it. The clearing where Occulo stood was the only break in the tree line.
Hey boy! Hope you ain’t goin’ swimming after dinner!
A topless figure in bright purple pants jumps down from a tree above Occulo and lands with a thud about 8 feet in front of him. He was well toned, and his brown hair was slicked back. He wore a single yellow flower in his ear.
Occulo: And you are?
Who am I? You can call me…Bustin’ Diva.
Occulo: Bustin’ Diva…
Bustin: Yeah! That’s me, what’s your name? In fact, you know what who cares? Whoever finds your body in the lake can identify
you.
He drops to the floor and starts rolling around laughing
Voice: Damn it Bustin, you know one day you’re gonna get yourself killed by your lack of focus!!
Another man jumps down. This man has long hair entwined with reed he is wearing bright yellow shorts and flip flops.
Occulo: …
Voice: Sup bitch? You come to take on the lake boyz? Get up Bustin’.
Bustin gets to his feet
Bustin: Sorry boss.
Occulo: Fuckin losers
Bustin: Don’t be rude boss, introduce yourself to this little bitch
Voice: Oh, fuckin apologies. My name boy is Whyte Rabidz. Me and my boy Bustin been beatin up fuckboys for months! That lake
teaming with bodies.
Bustin: Hey boy, you suddenly got that SINKIN’ feeling?!
They both high five and drop the ground, rolling around laughing
Occulo: Fuck sake….
Suddenly the sound of a dull groan fills the air. Bustin and Rabidz get to their feet with almost regimental precision and adopt stern
facial expressions.
Bustin: He’s fucked no-
Rabidz: Sssh!
Occulo watches on as a grotesque, chubby hand breaches the surface of the lake and flops on to the dusty ground, followed by another. A head with long dark hair and bushy beard slowly rises up as what can only be described as a humanoid blob crawls out of the lake and flicks its hair back, sending an arc of water back into the lake. Bustin and Rabidz quickly stand at either side of the figure. Bustin raises one arm and outstretches the other, creating an L shape whilst Rabidz does the same, trying somehow to form the letter B.
Bustin: Traveller! Walker! Hikers alike!
Rabidz: Get outta here, get on ya bike!
Bustin: Lake Boyz sending ya to your watery depths
Rabidz: Where you’ll drown…and…stop breathing…and…die
Bustin: ….
Blob: …
Occulo: …
Bustin and Rabidz: YEAH!! Now…
Bustin and Rabidz crouch down and hold their hands out towards their friend, as he rises they do also whilst chanting
Bustin and Rabidz: Amorphous…Amorphous Blob…Amorphous…Amorphous Blob
Amorphous is now upright and staring directly into Occulo’s eyes whilst Bustin and Rabidz stand by his side, their eyes bright.
Occulo: …
Amorphous: …
Bustin: …
Rabidz: …
Rabidz awkwardly looks at Bustin who responds with a glance of his own. They talk to each other in muffled voices.
Bustin: It’s not my turn!
Rabidz: It is come on…you know he’ll dry out especially in this heat
Bustin: Fuck sake Rabidz
Bustin hesitantly steps up to the water’s edge and starts flinging handfuls of water over Amorphous.
Amorphous: Thank you my child. Now, prepare yourself for the greatness of Lake Boyz going to smash your skull down your throat
Occulo: Well, go ahead.
Amorphous: What?
Occulo: Come on. Let’s go.
Bustin: Uh…
Amorphous: Don’t you know who I am? I lived in the village from whence you probably came. I was fighting champion there…I was a
brute! I was hailed as the greatest fighting champion!!
Occulo: Oh? Then what happened? I haven’t heard you mentioned whilst I’ve been there
Amorphous: Well…I’ve assembled my Lake Boyz, ready to attack the village and dominate!!
Occulo: Really, against people like Itami and Akuma, you’re going to dominate.
Amorphous: Yes! Because we are Lake Boyz!! Itami?? Akuma??....boys?
All 3 men drop down to the ground and roll around laughing.
Occulo: Wow. I don’t think you could even beat me let alone Itami and Akuma
Rabidz: Uh oh
Bustin: Oh crap…boss…no!!
Amorphous starts rolling around laughing again until we hear a sickening squelch
Occulo: Oh…oh my word…
Rabidz: It happened again
Bustin: He laughed his ass off
Amorphous is on his side, his ass well and truly detached from his body. From his body pours out a thick brown liquid.
Occulo: What the hell is that? It smells like…
Bustin: Shit…yeah…he’s full of shit
Occulo brutally kicks Amorphous’s torso into the lake sending the shit spraying everywhere.
Rabidz: No!!
Occulo: So are we going to fight or what?
Bustin: Ermm…one minute
They turn their backs to Occulo
Rabidz: He actually wants to fight. What do we do? By now whoever we’ve faced has just run away or at least not bothered to
carry on
Bustin: I know! Talking and rolling around laughing is all we can do…LakeBoyz are all talk. We can’t fight for shit…
Occulo: Excuse me. I haven’t got all day.
Rabidz: There’s only one thing we can do
Bustin: You mean…the has-
Rabidz: Ssh!
Bustin spins Rabidz around and they both face Occulo
Occulo: Well?
Rabidz: Are you ready for our greatest weapon? Our most fierce...our…only attack?!
Occulo: Go on…
Rabidz and Bustin grin and climb up the trees. A couple of minutes later a brown sack falls from the branches and lands where they were standing. They jump down and open the bag, taking out a small blade. Occulo adopts a defensive stance.
Rabidz: This…this is our greatest and only weapon…the only thing we use to defeat our opponents once and for all…
Bustin: It’s called…
Bustin and Rabidz: The Hasht Ag.
Occulo: …
Bustin throws the Hasht Ag towards Occulo. It’s point drives straight into Occulo’s chest!!!! And feebly bounces off to the ground as
if it were a paper aeroplane.
Your Hasht Ags don’t exactly cut deep do they? So that’s all LakeBoyz have? Weak, pathetic and ineffective Hasht Ags?
Bustin and Rabidz drop to their knees
Bustin: Please!! Please don’t hurt us, we don’t wanna fight. We can’t fight. All we are a bunch of terrible fighters who seek solace and love in each other’s mediocrity.
Rabidz: Yeah! We’re awful! Our boss Sticks God made us do it! We just blindly follow his orders because we’re too stupid and scared to follow our own paths! We lack the balls to make our own decisions!
Occulo: You sound like you don’t need a boss, you need a fucking mother. Pathetic childish cunts.
Occulo runs at them and delivers a stiff kick to Bustin’s temple. Rabidz gets up but Occulo manages to grab his hand and pull him
towards him, driving his elbow into his throat leaving him spluttering and coughing up blood on the ground.
Sorry LakeBoyz, but if talking and laughing and Hasht Ags are literally all you have, nobody is ever going to take you seriously. Maybe try and actually learn how to fight. Just a suggestion.
He delivers a final swift kick to the back of Rabidz’s head, who collides with Bustin. They both slump to the ground unconscious.
Well if that was your test Hige, I don’t think I have much to worry about going forward.
He makes his way up to the edge of the lake, removing his clothes as he does so.
Alright, let’s get that Gi.
He dives in and swims to the centre of the lake, before plunging under the surface. He scans the floor for the chest but struggles to see anything other than rocks and bed plants. No sign of them bodies, LakeBoyz. He looks around for a few more seconds and returns to the surface for some air. How long has the chest been there? It must be centuries. The chest could be buried under feet of silt. He takes a deep breath and plunges down towards the bed of the lake. He quickly scans around looking for any sign of the chest. No luck.
Occulo: Where the hell is it?
He swims back up and breaches the surface again. This isn’t going to be as easy as it just being there. There’s a reason this is a test. He stared across the sky and saw the cloud in the distance above the village. He then began to wonder…
Becoming one with the cloud brought me my answer. Perhaps if I do the same with the lake, it to will reap a reward.
He realised then he had to trust it. Just like he stepped through the flames in the village without it taking his life, had to believe that the lake would do the same. He remembered Itami’s words, that he had to let nature course through his veins and show him the way. Impulse and desire for material gain would get him nowhere. He closed his eyes and exhaled all his breath, before again plunging and swimming to the very depths of the lake. He felt his lungs starting to burn, the adrenalin started to surge through his veins as the last of his oxygen left his body. The survival instinct tried its absolute damned hardest to pull him towards the surface to salvation.
Occulo: Come on…come on…hold on...
His lungs now burned with excruciating pain. He shook his head and clenched his fists.
No….no….
A few seconds later the pain just…vanished. The adrenalin dissipated and the fear floated away. His fists unclenched and he opened his eyes. Sat a foot or two in front of him was a beautiful wooden chest. He smiled and grabbed it, rotating it so he could open it. The chest was made of beautiful dark brown Jezo Spruce wood and shiny cast iron. It had “Single Cloud” engraved on the iron near the lip. He grabbed it in his hands and tried to pull it off the ground. No avail. It weighed an absolute tonne. He lifted the lid and inside was the Gi neatly folded. He grabbed it and swam towards the surface. It was very heavy, nigh on exhausting him as he got closer and closer to the sunlight. He breached the surface and with a yell threw the Gi on to the bank. It landed with a heavy thud. He took a few deep breaths and crawled on to the bank, lying on his back lethargically.
Occulo: Okay…okay Hige…that was a pretty good test.
He sat up and checked out the Gi. It was absolutely beautiful. The material was made out of thick, black leather like material and bore the trademarks of absolutely prime craftsmanship. The rims of the Gi were a sky blue colour and were made out of a different material, which he couldn’t quite define. It fell below his knees and it felt like his body weight had been doubled, like gravity had suddenly multiplied. Inside a pocket on the right hand side was a dead but perfectly preserved black snake, but its head was severed, instead was a white, metallic head. He held it aloft and then realised its purpose. He wrapped it around his waist and inserted the tail into the snake’s mouth, its fangs snapped shut on the tail, holding the Gi tightly closed around his body.
Occulo: This is awesome
He walked past Rabidz and Bustin who were still laid unconscious on the ground. His journey back to the village was considerably slower, but as soon as he set foot in the village with a deep, exhausted breath, he heard exactly what he wanted to hear.
Itami: Excellent work Occulo. Now, let your training begin.
CUT
