Post by DeMarcus Jordan on Feb 28, 2016 14:26:11 GMT -5
DeMarcus held the large envelope in his hands, turning it over, running his hands along the top of it. He had yet to open it since getting it from the Private Investigator he hired to find his parents. The information he was looking for was there in his hands, for weeks now, but he couldn't bring himself to open it. He had always wondered who they were, what they were like, why they abandoned him in an empty apartment. He could have died. They left him to die. Inside of this envelope was the contact information for the people who had given him life and also left him to die.
Staring at the envelope, almost in a trance, he gave a startled jump as his doorbell rang. He put the envelope down on the table he was sitting up and got up. His apartment was nothing very impressive, one bedroom and one bathroom. A small living area, small dining area, and a small nook that he turned into an office. It was nothing impressive or lavish, but he enjoyed the simplicity of it. Before he signed his contract with WCF and got a couple dollars in his bank account, he was living pay check to pay check working odd jobs here and there, so he never really had a place, he would go around staying on people's couches, having a place for a month or two until he couldn't pay the rent. This was the first time he had some stability, and he decided to start small.
He walked through the small dining area, past the living area to the front door. He peered in the peephole. A young black woman, no older than 23 stood there. Her features were soft, her hair fine and long, she stood about 5'5" and she was very beautiful. He didn't mind opening the door for her. He unlatched the door, opening it and leaning on the frame.
DeMarcus Jordan: Hi, can I help you?
He looked her up and down.
Girl: Hi...are you DeMarcus Jordan...from the WCF?
DeMarcus Jordan: Well, actually, yes, I am.
Girl: I KNEW IT!!
She jumped at him and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him into a hug. A bit confused, but always happy to be hugged by a beautiful woman, he embraced her as well. It was a strange feeling, but he felt connected to this woman before having said more than ten words to her. There was something about her that made him feel comfortable...which scared him instantly and he pulled away from her. She was crying.
DeMarcus Jordan: Wh-whats wrong?
Girl: My name is Amy. Amy Matthews. I am...well...
DeMarcus Jordan: Why are are you crying Amy?
Amy Matthews: Because I...we...DeMarcus. Can I come in?
DeMarcus Jordan: Well...to be honest I don't know if I trust you...
Amy Matthews: DeMarcus...I am your sister.
DeMarcus went as white as a black man could. He lost all expression from his face.
DeMarcus Jordan: ...............sure.
Amy smiled and walked in. DeMarcus stood at the door looking out to where she was, stunned from the news he had just got. So many things were rushing through his head instantly. Sister? Matthews? Amy? Was his name DeMarcus Matthews? Did his parents intend to name him DeMarcus? As far as he knew, his name was given to him when he was found. He had no records, no birth certificate, no nothing. Finally he shook his head, rubbed his eyes, turned to Amy, and shut the door.
DeMarcus Jordan: Look, I am sure you want to-
Amy Matthews: I have waited so long to meet you. I hope you don't mind. I saw you on TV and my dad-well I guess our-
DeMarcus Jordan: Look, I am gonna stop you right there. First and foremost, understand that I don't have a father, ok? Secondly, this is a lot for me to take in...I have a lot of my mind. My match at Timebomb is huge and I can't do this right now. I'm sorry.
Amy Matthews: Look, DeMarcus, I know this is a lot to handle, but I came a long way to talk to you, and I am going to talk to you.
DeMarcus Jordan: Look, I gotta go out. You can stay here, I guess...just...you know don't rob me.
Amy Matthews: DeMarcus wait-
But she was cut off by him slamming the door on her and running down the hall to the elevator. He took it down to the lobby and ran outside, breathing in the fresh, disgusting city air, leaning on his building, rubbing his eyes. He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through...finding the number he was looking for, he hits call. It rings once. It rings twice.
Grayson Pierce: What up dickbag?
DeMarcus Jordan: Hey fucker, what are you doing?
Grayson Pierce: Just porking your mother.
DeMarcus Jordan: Oh really? Ask her why she abandoned me.
Grayson Pierce: Ok, hold on. Yeah she said because you were the ugliest little baby she ever did see.
DeMarcus Jordan: Ha. Please. I was fucking adorable. Look man you got a second.
Grayson Pierce: Yeah, whats going on?
DeMarcus Jordan: This girl appeared at my door today.
Grayson Pierce: Niiiiice.
DeMarcus Jordan: Claiming to be my sister.
Grayson Pierce: Oh. Like...your sister, or your sista as in all black people are brotha's and sista's.
DeMarcus Jordan: No, racist. Like, my sister sister. We share DNA sister.
Grayson Pierce: Well, I mean, are you sure?
DeMarcus Jordan: Well, I mean, I don't know. I felt a weird connection to her and then she said she was my sister and-
Grayson Pierce: Dude, relax. Just go out, clear your mind, focus on your match. You or Bonnie need to win that battle royal.
DeMarcus Jordan: Yeah...Alright man, I will talk to you later.
Grayson Pierce: Alright-
DeMarcus Jordan: Oh, one more thing.
Grayson Pierce: Yeah what?
DeMarcus Jordan: I can smell my balls in your mouth from here. Brush them teeth fool.
Grayson Pierce: Eat shit.
DeMarcus Jordan: Ha.
DeMarcus presses end and returns the phone to his pocket. Pierce's advice was to focus on the match. Focus on his match at Timbebomb. DeMarcus took a deep breath and began walking down the block. He needed a burger.
He walked to the street and put his hand up...he could drive himself but the shock of finding out he had a sister was too much for him to handle right now. Several taxi's passed him up before one finally pulled over for him.
DeMarcus Jordan: Take me to the Citgo 605 Boulvard.
Taxi Driver: Yeah I know the place, they make the best damn burgers.
DeMarcus Jordan: Ha. Yeah thats why I am going there. I know the cook.
Taxi Driver: Whitey, right? He is a dick. Good burger though.
DeMarcus Jordan: Whitey is my best friend, man, change that tone.
Taxi Driver: OH! I know you, you're that guy from the Wrestling Championship Federation.
DeMarcus Jordan: Yeah.
Taxi Driver: Yeah, uh, CJ Phoenix right?
DeMarcus Jordan: What? No man, DeMarcus Jordan.
Taxi Driver: Oh, wait...YEAH, your that black guy.
DeMarcus Jordan: W-Yeah sure man that black guy.
Taxi Driver: Yeah man, sorry your gonna lose that royal rumble. Zombie McMorris has that in the bag.
DeMarcus Jordan: What? Are you kidding me? Zombie ain't winning shit. The only thing Zombie is going to win is a contest on how not to speak ebonics. That little fucker. He is one of the most racist mother fuckers in the fed and I am looking forward to kicking his ass.
Taxi Driver: Hey man, thats rude.
DeMarcus Jordan: No, whats rude is that he calls everyone 'nigguh' and acts like he is from the street. Please. That mother fucker doesn't know what its like to be from the streets. He is a son of a bitch. The way he talks, even, nobody from the fucking streets talks like that. His references are bored and tired. "I done did egg-zacktly what I said" fucking get out of town man. And he isn't even a talented wrestler. He talks about how good he is, he talks about all that he accomplishes, how he is the most talented, 'hottest thing' going in the company, but the mother fucker doesn't even know what its like to be in a fight.
Remember back when he had to fight Pantheon? Jay Omega, Alex Richards, and Jeff Purse? That mother fucker talked so much shit about how he was going to win because he could talk a lot of shit on twitter, but he can't actually show up to the ring and fight for himself? He fucking walked out of the match. HE WALKED OUT! Because he thinks that he can fucking just do whatever he wants? No, fuck no. I am going to show that dirty scumbag what it means to be in a fucking fight. He can talk all the smack he wants on the internet, but when I come face to face with him, I am going to pop him right in his big dumb nose.
Zombie 'Dank'Morris thinks he has some wrestling ability like, oh I don't know, Odin Balfore. NOPE! Zombie is so terrible at his job that he is the only mother fucker that has been here since 2012 and isn't referred to as a legend. Don't you think that that says something about his abilities? Don't you think that that means something? Nobody even puts him in lists of the top wrestlers of all time. Yet he is the 'hottest thing' ever? Get the fuck out of here. And then all of a sudden we find out that he is someone's daddy?How fucking old is this piece of shit to have a 20 something year old son who is dead? Too old to be in my fucking ring, I can tell you that.
Taxi Driver: Alright, guy, I was just saying I am a fan of his. You didn't have go all ham.
They arrive to the Gas station.
Taxi Driver: Ok, thats 23.50 plus tip.
DeMarcus throws some money at the taxi driver, who counts it up.
Taxi Driver: This is 24 dollars...a 50 cent tip?
DeMarcus Jordan: No. I need change bozo. You insult me in your cab and expect some sort of tip? Fuck outta here.
The taxi driver just takes off, and DeMarcus shakes his head. Some people are so rude. He turned and walked into the gas station that he had practically grown up in to talk to the man who he had known longer than anyone about a serious matter...the mystery sister. Opening the door he heard the bells that were hung there to alert the staff that someone had come through the door. He walked right up to the burger counter.
DeMarcus Jordan: HEY! Whitey, get your white ass out here with a burger for me.
Whitey: (From the back) there is some under the light Blackey.
DeMarcus Jordan: You know I don't eat no prepared an hour ago bullshit.
Whitey: (From the back) They are fresh.
DeMarcus Jordan: Yeah, fresh yesterday.
Whitey comes stumbling out from behind the counter.
Whitey: Fine. I will make you a new one. Whats up kid you look like you got something on your mind. Is it your match?
DeMarcus is taken aback a little.
DeMarcus Jordan: Hell no. I aint worried about that bullshit not one bit. Who am I supposed to be worried about Whitey? Bad News Benson? A fucking rip off, illiterate version of some WWE superstar. Its sad that people have to take on the persona of someone who is much, much better than them. And Bad News Barrett, well he isn't even that good. So this guy is shooting for the stars and he wants to imitate someone he thinks is impressive, and he goes with one of the dumbest, worst WWE characters of all time? And not only that, but he rips off the guys gimmick completly and there is no lawsuit, so he is trying to be like someone who is stupider than him.
No, I am not worried about Bad News Benson at all, because guys like Bad News Benson, they don't win matches, they lose matches, and that is exactly what he is going to do, again, he is going to lose a match. Its ok though, it will be one of many and he won't have to worry too much. Fucking guy thinks he actually has a chance? I don't think so. He thinks he can go on to win a tournament? Yeah fucking right. He wishes. The only thing he is going to win is the award for the least thought out and most poorly executed gimmick. At least Wade Barrett actually gives bad news...Benson is just a walking stack of bad news for himself.
Or maybe I have to worry about Adam Young, WCF's biggest laughing stock since everyone started asking who the hell Al Envy is. Adam Young came out on Twitter the other day and DEMANDED a WCF title show. Ha. Thats the most laughable thing I have ever heard in my life. A guy like Adam Young doesn't deserve a title shot, a guy like Adam Young deserves the unemployment line. The only reason Seth keeps this guy around is because he needs new guys to feel like they can accomplish something. Seth throws them in a match with Adam Young and they beat Adam Young, gaining a little confidence in their choice to sign with the WCF.
Seriously, the only accomplishment I think this guy even has is beating Joey Flash. Which, lets face it, is easy if Joey Flash decides he is going to phone it in for some stupid fucking reason. Adam Young is the epitome of something alright, you want to know what that is? Suckage. Adam Young is the epitome of suckage. The guy is constantly bringing in a bunch of nobodies to do...I don't even fucking know what to do because they only get a match or two before Adam Young decides he is going to attack them and replace them with new people. So far this guy has like 50 family members who are all professional wrestlers and 50 friends who are good enough for a match or two.
But maybe thats not who I should be worried about, right? Maybe I should be worried about that guy Shadowlove. First and foremost, what the fuck is with that name? Shadowlove? That is very rapey, it has a very rapey connotation. Like, only his shadow can love...which means you will never see it coming, and you won't feel it, and then its over and you are left thinking, 'what the fuck just happened?' Which is the same fucking thing that happens when this fucking guy gets in the ring. You never see him, because first and foremost he isn't good enough to get any good spots on television. Then when you do happen to see him wrestle its like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Has he ever even been in a fight before? Then he leaves and you are like "I don't know what I just saw, but I hated it."
Because thats what he does. He makes the matches he is in suck. Suck really bad too. I watched the match he had against Holden and Rage Maxx, another guy who is worth absolute dog shit. Anyway, he may have won, but it was like...who fucking cared? And he is disgusting, I don't want to see him and his bitch fucking on the ramp while he makes his entrance. Here is what I am going to do for Shadowlove, the 'handsome half fucking dumbass". I am going to beat the ever lovinig shit out of him. I am goiing to fuck up his face so he can actuallly start to take himself seriously. I am going to do him the best favor anyone has ever done for him and beat the shit out of him. I think thats the best thing I can do for him. Its going to happen.
And then there is Rage Maxx. Who the fuck is this guy. he was here, he was gone, and now he is back again. I don't' have time for fuckers like this to be running around my ring. If you aren't commited to this fucking place, then get the fuck out, thats what I say. Don't just come and go as you please Rage Maxx. Oh shit, I get it now. I get it. He is Rag Maxx. He is always on the rag and needs a maxipad to keep from bleeding out of that giant pussy he has. Thats why he left isn't it? Because he couldn't contain the giant bleeding vagina he has. Aw.
You know what I think I will do to him? I think I will ignore the shit out of this guy. I am not trying to go anywhere near him. He wants to come at me in this match, I will make him regret it, but there is no way I am approaching him. Why? Because the mother fucker doesn't deserve it. The guy is a part timer who thinks he has what it takes to compete with the big boys...well you know what? I don't think so. I am not going to give him the satisfaction of not having any real chance at facing a true superstart such as myself. Ya know?
Whitey comes from around the counter with a burger on a plate for DeMarcus.
Whitey: No, you have to worry about that Andre Jenson guy I think. He is gaining some momentum.
DeMarcus Jordan: No. Just no. I am not even going to talk about that guy. He LARPs, him and I can never co exsist. I am going to assume he isn't real.
Whitey: Yeah, but Jenson has some skill.
DeMarcus Jordan: Who?
Whitey: Andre Jenson.
DeMarcus Jordan: I don't know who that is. Sorry. Is he some new basketball player I am not aware of? Oh yeah, I think he is the new point guard for the Pelicans that never plays cause he is terrible.
Whitey: The Pelican's have some good players, why them?
DeMarcus Jordan: Because they are called 'the Pelicans'.
Whitey: Fair enough.
DeMarcus Jordan: Then Teo Del Sol, the people's champ. Thats a good place for him to stay. I don't need him trying to come into my action. There is Raymond Hatcher, he can suck a dick, and Johnny Rabid, well fuck BeachKrew.
Whitey: What about Bonnie?
DeMarcus Jordan: Its going to come down to me and Bonnie. Promise you that.Thanks for the burger, now I have to go take care of my sister.
Whitey: Your sister?
DeMarcus Jordan: I will tell you later. Peace.
Staring at the envelope, almost in a trance, he gave a startled jump as his doorbell rang. He put the envelope down on the table he was sitting up and got up. His apartment was nothing very impressive, one bedroom and one bathroom. A small living area, small dining area, and a small nook that he turned into an office. It was nothing impressive or lavish, but he enjoyed the simplicity of it. Before he signed his contract with WCF and got a couple dollars in his bank account, he was living pay check to pay check working odd jobs here and there, so he never really had a place, he would go around staying on people's couches, having a place for a month or two until he couldn't pay the rent. This was the first time he had some stability, and he decided to start small.
He walked through the small dining area, past the living area to the front door. He peered in the peephole. A young black woman, no older than 23 stood there. Her features were soft, her hair fine and long, she stood about 5'5" and she was very beautiful. He didn't mind opening the door for her. He unlatched the door, opening it and leaning on the frame.
DeMarcus Jordan: Hi, can I help you?
He looked her up and down.
Girl: Hi...are you DeMarcus Jordan...from the WCF?
DeMarcus Jordan: Well, actually, yes, I am.
Girl: I KNEW IT!!
She jumped at him and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him into a hug. A bit confused, but always happy to be hugged by a beautiful woman, he embraced her as well. It was a strange feeling, but he felt connected to this woman before having said more than ten words to her. There was something about her that made him feel comfortable...which scared him instantly and he pulled away from her. She was crying.
DeMarcus Jordan: Wh-whats wrong?
Girl: My name is Amy. Amy Matthews. I am...well...
DeMarcus Jordan: Why are are you crying Amy?
Amy Matthews: Because I...we...DeMarcus. Can I come in?
DeMarcus Jordan: Well...to be honest I don't know if I trust you...
Amy Matthews: DeMarcus...I am your sister.
DeMarcus went as white as a black man could. He lost all expression from his face.
DeMarcus Jordan: ...............sure.
Amy smiled and walked in. DeMarcus stood at the door looking out to where she was, stunned from the news he had just got. So many things were rushing through his head instantly. Sister? Matthews? Amy? Was his name DeMarcus Matthews? Did his parents intend to name him DeMarcus? As far as he knew, his name was given to him when he was found. He had no records, no birth certificate, no nothing. Finally he shook his head, rubbed his eyes, turned to Amy, and shut the door.
DeMarcus Jordan: Look, I am sure you want to-
Amy Matthews: I have waited so long to meet you. I hope you don't mind. I saw you on TV and my dad-well I guess our-
DeMarcus Jordan: Look, I am gonna stop you right there. First and foremost, understand that I don't have a father, ok? Secondly, this is a lot for me to take in...I have a lot of my mind. My match at Timebomb is huge and I can't do this right now. I'm sorry.
Amy Matthews: Look, DeMarcus, I know this is a lot to handle, but I came a long way to talk to you, and I am going to talk to you.
DeMarcus Jordan: Look, I gotta go out. You can stay here, I guess...just...you know don't rob me.
Amy Matthews: DeMarcus wait-
But she was cut off by him slamming the door on her and running down the hall to the elevator. He took it down to the lobby and ran outside, breathing in the fresh, disgusting city air, leaning on his building, rubbing his eyes. He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through...finding the number he was looking for, he hits call. It rings once. It rings twice.
Grayson Pierce: What up dickbag?
DeMarcus Jordan: Hey fucker, what are you doing?
Grayson Pierce: Just porking your mother.
DeMarcus Jordan: Oh really? Ask her why she abandoned me.
Grayson Pierce: Ok, hold on. Yeah she said because you were the ugliest little baby she ever did see.
DeMarcus Jordan: Ha. Please. I was fucking adorable. Look man you got a second.
Grayson Pierce: Yeah, whats going on?
DeMarcus Jordan: This girl appeared at my door today.
Grayson Pierce: Niiiiice.
DeMarcus Jordan: Claiming to be my sister.
Grayson Pierce: Oh. Like...your sister, or your sista as in all black people are brotha's and sista's.
DeMarcus Jordan: No, racist. Like, my sister sister. We share DNA sister.
Grayson Pierce: Well, I mean, are you sure?
DeMarcus Jordan: Well, I mean, I don't know. I felt a weird connection to her and then she said she was my sister and-
Grayson Pierce: Dude, relax. Just go out, clear your mind, focus on your match. You or Bonnie need to win that battle royal.
DeMarcus Jordan: Yeah...Alright man, I will talk to you later.
Grayson Pierce: Alright-
DeMarcus Jordan: Oh, one more thing.
Grayson Pierce: Yeah what?
DeMarcus Jordan: I can smell my balls in your mouth from here. Brush them teeth fool.
Grayson Pierce: Eat shit.
DeMarcus Jordan: Ha.
DeMarcus presses end and returns the phone to his pocket. Pierce's advice was to focus on the match. Focus on his match at Timbebomb. DeMarcus took a deep breath and began walking down the block. He needed a burger.
He walked to the street and put his hand up...he could drive himself but the shock of finding out he had a sister was too much for him to handle right now. Several taxi's passed him up before one finally pulled over for him.
DeMarcus Jordan: Take me to the Citgo 605 Boulvard.
Taxi Driver: Yeah I know the place, they make the best damn burgers.
DeMarcus Jordan: Ha. Yeah thats why I am going there. I know the cook.
Taxi Driver: Whitey, right? He is a dick. Good burger though.
DeMarcus Jordan: Whitey is my best friend, man, change that tone.
Taxi Driver: OH! I know you, you're that guy from the Wrestling Championship Federation.
DeMarcus Jordan: Yeah.
Taxi Driver: Yeah, uh, CJ Phoenix right?
DeMarcus Jordan: What? No man, DeMarcus Jordan.
Taxi Driver: Oh, wait...YEAH, your that black guy.
DeMarcus Jordan: W-Yeah sure man that black guy.
Taxi Driver: Yeah man, sorry your gonna lose that royal rumble. Zombie McMorris has that in the bag.
DeMarcus Jordan: What? Are you kidding me? Zombie ain't winning shit. The only thing Zombie is going to win is a contest on how not to speak ebonics. That little fucker. He is one of the most racist mother fuckers in the fed and I am looking forward to kicking his ass.
Taxi Driver: Hey man, thats rude.
DeMarcus Jordan: No, whats rude is that he calls everyone 'nigguh' and acts like he is from the street. Please. That mother fucker doesn't know what its like to be from the streets. He is a son of a bitch. The way he talks, even, nobody from the fucking streets talks like that. His references are bored and tired. "I done did egg-zacktly what I said" fucking get out of town man. And he isn't even a talented wrestler. He talks about how good he is, he talks about all that he accomplishes, how he is the most talented, 'hottest thing' going in the company, but the mother fucker doesn't even know what its like to be in a fight.
Remember back when he had to fight Pantheon? Jay Omega, Alex Richards, and Jeff Purse? That mother fucker talked so much shit about how he was going to win because he could talk a lot of shit on twitter, but he can't actually show up to the ring and fight for himself? He fucking walked out of the match. HE WALKED OUT! Because he thinks that he can fucking just do whatever he wants? No, fuck no. I am going to show that dirty scumbag what it means to be in a fucking fight. He can talk all the smack he wants on the internet, but when I come face to face with him, I am going to pop him right in his big dumb nose.
Zombie 'Dank'Morris thinks he has some wrestling ability like, oh I don't know, Odin Balfore. NOPE! Zombie is so terrible at his job that he is the only mother fucker that has been here since 2012 and isn't referred to as a legend. Don't you think that that says something about his abilities? Don't you think that that means something? Nobody even puts him in lists of the top wrestlers of all time. Yet he is the 'hottest thing' ever? Get the fuck out of here. And then all of a sudden we find out that he is someone's daddy?How fucking old is this piece of shit to have a 20 something year old son who is dead? Too old to be in my fucking ring, I can tell you that.
Taxi Driver: Alright, guy, I was just saying I am a fan of his. You didn't have go all ham.
They arrive to the Gas station.
Taxi Driver: Ok, thats 23.50 plus tip.
DeMarcus throws some money at the taxi driver, who counts it up.
Taxi Driver: This is 24 dollars...a 50 cent tip?
DeMarcus Jordan: No. I need change bozo. You insult me in your cab and expect some sort of tip? Fuck outta here.
The taxi driver just takes off, and DeMarcus shakes his head. Some people are so rude. He turned and walked into the gas station that he had practically grown up in to talk to the man who he had known longer than anyone about a serious matter...the mystery sister. Opening the door he heard the bells that were hung there to alert the staff that someone had come through the door. He walked right up to the burger counter.
DeMarcus Jordan: HEY! Whitey, get your white ass out here with a burger for me.
Whitey: (From the back) there is some under the light Blackey.
DeMarcus Jordan: You know I don't eat no prepared an hour ago bullshit.
Whitey: (From the back) They are fresh.
DeMarcus Jordan: Yeah, fresh yesterday.
Whitey comes stumbling out from behind the counter.
Whitey: Fine. I will make you a new one. Whats up kid you look like you got something on your mind. Is it your match?
DeMarcus is taken aback a little.
DeMarcus Jordan: Hell no. I aint worried about that bullshit not one bit. Who am I supposed to be worried about Whitey? Bad News Benson? A fucking rip off, illiterate version of some WWE superstar. Its sad that people have to take on the persona of someone who is much, much better than them. And Bad News Barrett, well he isn't even that good. So this guy is shooting for the stars and he wants to imitate someone he thinks is impressive, and he goes with one of the dumbest, worst WWE characters of all time? And not only that, but he rips off the guys gimmick completly and there is no lawsuit, so he is trying to be like someone who is stupider than him.
No, I am not worried about Bad News Benson at all, because guys like Bad News Benson, they don't win matches, they lose matches, and that is exactly what he is going to do, again, he is going to lose a match. Its ok though, it will be one of many and he won't have to worry too much. Fucking guy thinks he actually has a chance? I don't think so. He thinks he can go on to win a tournament? Yeah fucking right. He wishes. The only thing he is going to win is the award for the least thought out and most poorly executed gimmick. At least Wade Barrett actually gives bad news...Benson is just a walking stack of bad news for himself.
Or maybe I have to worry about Adam Young, WCF's biggest laughing stock since everyone started asking who the hell Al Envy is. Adam Young came out on Twitter the other day and DEMANDED a WCF title show. Ha. Thats the most laughable thing I have ever heard in my life. A guy like Adam Young doesn't deserve a title shot, a guy like Adam Young deserves the unemployment line. The only reason Seth keeps this guy around is because he needs new guys to feel like they can accomplish something. Seth throws them in a match with Adam Young and they beat Adam Young, gaining a little confidence in their choice to sign with the WCF.
Seriously, the only accomplishment I think this guy even has is beating Joey Flash. Which, lets face it, is easy if Joey Flash decides he is going to phone it in for some stupid fucking reason. Adam Young is the epitome of something alright, you want to know what that is? Suckage. Adam Young is the epitome of suckage. The guy is constantly bringing in a bunch of nobodies to do...I don't even fucking know what to do because they only get a match or two before Adam Young decides he is going to attack them and replace them with new people. So far this guy has like 50 family members who are all professional wrestlers and 50 friends who are good enough for a match or two.
But maybe thats not who I should be worried about, right? Maybe I should be worried about that guy Shadowlove. First and foremost, what the fuck is with that name? Shadowlove? That is very rapey, it has a very rapey connotation. Like, only his shadow can love...which means you will never see it coming, and you won't feel it, and then its over and you are left thinking, 'what the fuck just happened?' Which is the same fucking thing that happens when this fucking guy gets in the ring. You never see him, because first and foremost he isn't good enough to get any good spots on television. Then when you do happen to see him wrestle its like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Has he ever even been in a fight before? Then he leaves and you are like "I don't know what I just saw, but I hated it."
Because thats what he does. He makes the matches he is in suck. Suck really bad too. I watched the match he had against Holden and Rage Maxx, another guy who is worth absolute dog shit. Anyway, he may have won, but it was like...who fucking cared? And he is disgusting, I don't want to see him and his bitch fucking on the ramp while he makes his entrance. Here is what I am going to do for Shadowlove, the 'handsome half fucking dumbass". I am going to beat the ever lovinig shit out of him. I am goiing to fuck up his face so he can actuallly start to take himself seriously. I am going to do him the best favor anyone has ever done for him and beat the shit out of him. I think thats the best thing I can do for him. Its going to happen.
And then there is Rage Maxx. Who the fuck is this guy. he was here, he was gone, and now he is back again. I don't' have time for fuckers like this to be running around my ring. If you aren't commited to this fucking place, then get the fuck out, thats what I say. Don't just come and go as you please Rage Maxx. Oh shit, I get it now. I get it. He is Rag Maxx. He is always on the rag and needs a maxipad to keep from bleeding out of that giant pussy he has. Thats why he left isn't it? Because he couldn't contain the giant bleeding vagina he has. Aw.
You know what I think I will do to him? I think I will ignore the shit out of this guy. I am not trying to go anywhere near him. He wants to come at me in this match, I will make him regret it, but there is no way I am approaching him. Why? Because the mother fucker doesn't deserve it. The guy is a part timer who thinks he has what it takes to compete with the big boys...well you know what? I don't think so. I am not going to give him the satisfaction of not having any real chance at facing a true superstart such as myself. Ya know?
Whitey comes from around the counter with a burger on a plate for DeMarcus.
Whitey: No, you have to worry about that Andre Jenson guy I think. He is gaining some momentum.
DeMarcus Jordan: No. Just no. I am not even going to talk about that guy. He LARPs, him and I can never co exsist. I am going to assume he isn't real.
Whitey: Yeah, but Jenson has some skill.
DeMarcus Jordan: Who?
Whitey: Andre Jenson.
DeMarcus Jordan: I don't know who that is. Sorry. Is he some new basketball player I am not aware of? Oh yeah, I think he is the new point guard for the Pelicans that never plays cause he is terrible.
Whitey: The Pelican's have some good players, why them?
DeMarcus Jordan: Because they are called 'the Pelicans'.
Whitey: Fair enough.
DeMarcus Jordan: Then Teo Del Sol, the people's champ. Thats a good place for him to stay. I don't need him trying to come into my action. There is Raymond Hatcher, he can suck a dick, and Johnny Rabid, well fuck BeachKrew.
Whitey: What about Bonnie?
DeMarcus Jordan: Its going to come down to me and Bonnie. Promise you that.Thanks for the burger, now I have to go take care of my sister.
Whitey: Your sister?
DeMarcus Jordan: I will tell you later. Peace.
