The Adventures of #TeamBlackBeaver: Blackening (part 2 of 2)

[Dustin Beaver]

Wednesday February 24th, 10:32 am


The scene opens with Dustin Beaver sitting at his counter, sipping out of a glass of Beaveater and orange juice. He's waiting for Andre Aquarius to wake up, as Andre apparently enjoys his sleep quite a bit. Beavs had already made lunch and early dinner reservations for the pair at two of Beavs' favorite restaurants downtown. He figured he'd fill in the time gap between meals with more tourist shit or possibly a few drinks somewhere. The big surprise event Beaver had planned was for that night around 7. As Beavs thought about activities for the day, Andre came stumbling down the hallway, yawning as he did so.


Andre Aquarius: "Got damn, nilla, that bed is comfy as fuck!"


Dustin Beaver: "Ha, well I'm glad you thought so. I take it you managed to get some sleep then?"


Andre stretched his arms out; multiple bones could be heard cracking as he did so.


AA: "Hell yeah, man, I probably could have slept another eight hours in that bitch."


Beaver slid a second glass of Beaveater and orange juice to Aquarius as he made his way towards the counter.


DB: "Well I'm glad you didn't, because I have more shit planned for our day, including the surprise main event of the evening around 7."


Andre nodded as he sipped on his drink.


AA: "That's right, so you're really not going to tell me what the fucks going on before then?"


Beavs shook his head side to side.


DB: "Nope! It's going to be an experience for you, and I don't want you trying to back out of the shit before we even get there."


Aquarius shrugged his shoulders.


AA: "Well you've made this a fun fuckin' trip so far, I guess I'll just let the good times roll!"


DB: "Now that's the right attitude!"


Beaver finished his drink and set the glass in the sink.


DB: "Alright, I'm gonna go shower, I probably smell like a bum's nutsack right now."


Andre plugged his nose with his fingers as he waved his other hand in front of his face.


AA: "Wooo! You sure do! I can smell your nasty white ass all over this kitchen!"


DB: "Ha ha, very funny, Kevin Hart. If you wanna wash your ass as well, there's a bathroom directly across the hall from your room. There should be towels and shit in there for you already."


Aquarius had already finished the drink Beavs had made him, and he set the glass down on the counter, probably a little harder than necessary.


AA: "Mmm mmm! That was some good shit! What was that drink you made me?"


Beaver chuckled.


DB: "It was Beaveater and OJ of course. What the hell else would we drink in this house?!"


Andre laughed and shook his head.


AA: "Maaaan, I should have just fuckin' known! Well go take your shower then, you got a newspaper in this bitch?"


Beavs raised an eyebrow; Aquarius was the last person he had expected to read the newspaper.


DB: "Yeah, hold on just a sec."


Beaver walked to the front door and opened it, retrieving the newspaper that was sitting just outside of the door. He returned to the kitchen, tossing the newspaper to Andre.


DB: "I didn't think you'd be a big news buff."


AA: "What can I say? I guess I'm just full of motha fuckin' surprises! I gotta keep up with what's goin' on in the world, man, don't want some ISIS assholes attacking me when I step outside or some crazy shit like that!"


Beaver nodded, he hoped that Aquarius liked to stay up to date on his opponents for the week's wrestling match as well.


DB: "Yeah bro, no doubt. Alright, I'm hittin' the shower; I'll see ya in a few."


Andre yelled over his shoulder as Beaver walked down the hallway.


AA: "Don't forget to wash yo crack!"


Beaver laughed.


DB: "I NEVER forget, Beavlieve THAT!"


Wednesday February 24th, 11:45 am


Beaver and Aquarius hit the town to enjoy the lunch at Richmond Station. It was a small venue with a distinctive European flare, which made Beavs feel very worldly. Andre didn’t seem to care much for the quiet, personal tone of the place, but the way he wolfed down his pulled pork ravioli seemed to suggest that he enjoyed the food just fine. Before heading off to the next touristy spot, Aquarius made Beaver take them to a club so he could “mack on some more white women”. Beavs didn’t mind this, he really didn’t know what else to fill the day up with, and he was most concerned about the big event planned for 7. Beaver was hit from another surprise from Aquarius, as Andre suggested they hit up a jazz bar.


DB: “Really, my niqqa? I figured you’d wanna hit up the more hip hoppy kinda shit?”


Aquarius gave Beavs an annoyed look.


AA: “Come on man, I got more class than that. Jazz is black people music anyways, and it’s good for the fancy white woman daytime hunting!”


DB: “You’re the boss, Andre. I think I know just the place.”


Beavs next drove them to Jazz Bistro Toronto where they enjoyed a cocktail and Aquarius was free to eyeball all the white women he could handle. The crowd was kind of dead because of it being midday during the middle of the week, so Andre was relegated to mostly just hitting on the decent looking, early 30s brunette that was bartending that day. Even with only one prospect, Aquarius still managed to leave the bistro with a phone number.


DB: “Damn bruh, how do you do it?!”


AA: “What can I say, Beavs. I love white women and they love me right back!”


DB: “Ha, I suppose!”


Beaver looked down at his Rolex to check the time.


DB: "Well shit man, we’ve got some time to kill still before our early-ish dinner. Is there anything in particular that you wanted to do before the thing I had planned for us tonight?”


Andre rubbed his chin in thought for a moment.


AA: “Hmmm, well there was one thing…”


DB: “Go ahead, bro, I’m all ears!”


Aquarius thought for another second before shaking his head no.


AA: “Nah man, it’s cool. It’s a stupid thing anyways.”


Beaver wasn’t about to let it go.


DB: “Come on, you thought about it for a while. Seriously, we have some time. What did you have on your mind?”


Andre looked away for a minute and then back at Beavs before he finally gave in.


AA: “Well I heard here in Toronto, you have a castle. Like a legit, actual, no bullshit castle. I kinda had wanted to visit the throne room and maybe sneak my way into sittin’ on the throne, if that shit isn’t already allowed of course.”


Beaver grinned; Aquarius was just full of surprises.


DB: “You mean, Casa Loma, hell yeah, bruh! That’s the ONLY full sized castle in North America. Damn Andre, you really are a cultured motha fucka.”


Beavs face turned to one of hesitation after thinking for a moment.


DB: “The thing with that castle is that I don’t know if it does have a throne though. I think the place was built by some rich industrialist dude from Toronto.”


Aquarius looked disappointed for a moment, but still interested.


AA: “Aw fuck it, Beavs. Let’s go anyways. I gotta see how I need to lay out my future home… and where to put that fuckin’ throne, son!”


Beaver laughed.


DB: “Fuck it, let’s go!”


Beavs drove them to the spectacular Casa Loma; they both agreed that it was much more spectacular in person than in pictures. Beaver and Andre took the full tour of the grounds, including all three floors plus the lower level. They also checked out the gardens, pool and cellar. The full tour basically took all of the time until they had their early dinner, which made Beaver happy that he didn’t have to come up with any more ideas. Beavs and Aquarius talked about the castle visit on the way back to the car.


AA: “Damn man, when I finally am makin’ fucking Dr. Dre money, I’m gonna get a place like that built, Beavs. I would have bitches fucking everywhere, like I could just randomly find bitches a week after a party because they’d have so many rooms to hide in and shit!”


Beaver laughed again.


DB: “Hell yeah, man. I call dibs on your best couch when you’re runnin’ that empire!”


AA: “You got it, Beaver. It will be #TeamBlackBeaver tag teaming bitches for life! Yo, is it time for dinner yet? I’m hungry as fuck.”


Beaver double checked his Rolex to make sure of the time.


DB: “Oh yeah, it’s food time. Let’s fly on over there!”


Wednesday February 24th, 4:50 pm


Beavs and Andre arrived at Scaramouche Restaurant ten minutes before their reservation time. This restaurant was supposed to have the best food in all of Toronto. Beaver had been there a few times in the past and had an amazing experience every time. The two were seated promptly at 5 and handed their menus.


DB: “Yo man, get whatever the hell you want, bro. You can order anything here and it will be fucking incredible.”


AA: “Leave it to motha fuckin’ Beaver to know all these fancy ass white people places.”


Beavs stared irritatingly at Aquarius.


AA: “Come on Beavs, I’m just giving you shit!”


DB: “Well don’t fuck around for too long, we need to be at my surprise location here pretty quick!”


AA: “Aight, I’ll figure somethin’ out.”


The pair looked over the menu. Andre settled on the Grilled Filet Mignon, while Beaver decided to go with the Venison, keeping it simple yet delicious. They also decided to share a bottle of 2010 Chablis white wine, Beavs didn’t want them to be too loaded up before the big deal. The two polished off their meals and the bottle just before 6:30, plenty of time for Beaver to get them to their destination since he had VIP parking already set up.


DB: “Alright, you ready #princelightskin? It’s time for the main event of the evening!”


AA: “Shit, let’s get to it!”


Wednesday February 24th, 6:57 pm


Beaver fought through the traffic and made it to the Air Canada Centre with a few minutes to spare. He hopped out of the Escalade and made his way to the back where he retrieved a backpack that he had put in there without Andre knowing. He opened the backpack and revealed two Canadian Olympic team jerseys; he tossed one that read “Aquarius” with the number 69 on the back to Andre. Beavs put on the second jersey that read “Beavs” on the back with the number 1.


AA: “Yo these jerseys are dope! So are we sittin’ front row for some hockey or some shit?! Is that the big secret?!”


Beaver flashed his bright white smile.


DB: “Even better, my niqqa. I’m singing the Canadian national anthem while you can hang out where ever you want until the game starts. You have pretty much free range of the stadium!”


AA: “Damn Beavs! That’s dope as hell, nilla! I’ll fuck with some hockey shit; I hope we see a few fights!”


Beaver nodded, approving of Aquarius’ enthusiasm.


DB: “Well we need to get the hell in there; I don’t have a lot of time left to get set up!”


The two quickly made their way inside, the security team ushered Beaver over to where he needed to be, as Andre wandered off to find something to do until Beavs was done doing his thing. Beaver had hooked this up for them by agreeing to do the guest celebrity national anthem deal. He loved Canada and the Leafs, and he didn’t mind putting his amazing voice on display just this one more time if he was able to show his #TeamBlackBeaver partner a unique Canadian experience. He also wanted to do a shoot from center ice and made sure that the Leafs management had agreed to allow him the time to do so after the game. Beavs and Aquarius agreed that Beaver would text him once he was done singing the anthem so they could meet up and go find their excellent seats. Beaver was announced and made his way down the red carpet with microphone in hand. He waived to the Leafs fans and Beavlievers before hitting the first note, the Canadian flag waived on the large scoreboard screens. Beavs watched the fans as they stood in respect of their nation, some staring at the actual flag, some at the waving flags on the scoreboard. About halfway through the anthem, Beaver watched as some people in the audience began to gasp, others covered children’s eyes, and others looked at the scoreboard screens with great interest. Beavs finally looked up at the scoreboard to see what was going on and nearly fumbled over the words to the song. Up on the big screen, for EVERYONE in the arena to see, was Andre Aquarius’ black ass as he was pounding away at some blonde, bent over the controls to the video feed. Beavs guessed that during the action, she must have bumped something switching the flags to the in booth camera. Beaver attempted to continue with the anthem like nothing had happened, but by this point, every person in the Air Canada Centre had saw what was going on, or in. There was no doubt it was Aquarius either, as he still had his Canadian Olympic jersey on that Beaver had given him. Beavs sang as quickly as he could since no one cared about his singing anymore anyway. When he finished, there was scattered clapping throughout the crowd, but mostly no one cared. He was quickly ushered to the back by security where Andre was being moved towards the exit. He was visibly angry and not cooperating well with the security team.


AA: “Man, get your white ass hands off me!”


Aquarius then spotted Beaver.


AA: “Yo Beavs, tell these crackas to keep their damn hands to themselves! Just ‘cause I’m a black man, doesn’t mean I deserve this shit!”


Beaver looked at the security guards that were attempting to handle the situation.


DB: “Hey, we’re sorry about this, we’ll head out now.”


AA: “What?! We ain’t going anywhere! We’re here to see some motha fuckin’ hockey!”


Beavs shook his head side to side.


DB: “Nah man, maybe another night. This isn’t the fight we want right now.”


Andre looked disappointed but understanding as he stopped fighting, and pushed the guards’ hands off of him. Beaver and Aquarius left the arena and went back out to the Escalade. Beavs and Andre sat in the vehicle in silence for a couple of uncomfortable minutes before Aquarius broke the silence.


AA: “Yo Beavs, I’m sorry man. I wasn’t trying to get us the boot; I was just tryin’ to fuck a white bitch before the game started. I didn’t know know we was fuckin’ in the video booth.”


Beaver continued to sit in silent thought for a second.


DB: “No it’s cool, man. I was going to do part of my shoot from center ice there after the game. I’m going to have to come up with something else now.”


Andre hung his head.


AA: “Oh damn, shit Beavs I didn’t know that. I’m really sorry, my nilla. I feel like a fuckin’ noob right now.”


Aquarius’ last sentence gave Beaver an idea.


DB: “Hold on, I think I have another idea.”


Beaver got his phone out and cycled through the contacts, coming to rest on a familiar name. He decided to call instead of text, knowing it would probably get better results. After three rings, a gruff voice answered on the other end.


Voice: “Hey kid, didn’t know you’d be bothering me this week? How’s it going?”


DB: “Yo Gags, I’m doing alright I suppose…Are you free right now, by chance?”


There was a pause on the other end after the question.


Gags: “I might be, why what’s up?”


DB: “Well I was going to have a shoot tonight but my location kind of... fell through at the last second. Would you be able to open up the school tonight? I won’t take long, I promise.”


There was another brief silence followed by a sigh.


Gags: “The things I do for you, Beavs. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”


DB: “You’re the best, boss! I’ll owe you yet another one!”


Gags: “Yeah yeah, just win your match at Timebomb that will be favor enough, see you soon.”


DB: “See ya!”


Beaver pressed the red phone button to hang up the phone. He then turned to Andre who still sat slumped in the passenger seat, who was likely still upset at himself for his actions.


DB: “Man Andre, don’t sweat it, bruh. We’re gonna pop on over to my wrestling school and I'll film the shoot in the #UnderseaLounge. It will still be a fucking fire shoot, and you get to meet my head trainer. He’s a straight up bad ass, trust me. #TeamBlackBeaver is way more important than some fucking shoot location, bruh, Beavlieve that.”


Andre finally smiled again at Beavs’ reassurance.


AA: “Cool man, #TeamBlackBeaver is the real shit, fam. Let’s get the hell out of here then!”


Wednesday February 24th, 7:47 pm


Beaver had just introduced Aquarius to Gags and Beavs had asked if Gags could give Andre a tour of the facility. Gags agreed and the two were off as Beaver made his way to the familiar blue confines of the #UnderseaLounge. The blue shine greeted Beavs in a way that no other room could, this familiarity put him at ease, making him forget the craziness that had taken place that evening. Beaver checked the camera and set it to record; he then strolled over to the blue recliner and fell into the chair. He moved around a bit to get comfortable before staring into the camera and beginning to speak.


DB: “Dag Riddik, we FINALLY get to talk about you. I’m not going to lie, Dagster, this has been a long two days for yours truly. But here we are you’re the focus Daggy, just the way you like it I’m sure. I mean, I know you haven’t been around very long, but you’ve already made quite the impression. I wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s been a GOOD impression, but an impression nonetheless.”


Beaver scratches the side of his face, seemingly in thought.


DB: “In light of recent events though, I can see what your problems may stem from. That multiple personality thing can be a bitch, or so I’ve heard. It’s a good thing those Pride boys are here now to diagnose your unfortunate condition. But whether you decide to be Dag or Adam Cooper, #TeamBlackBeaver, unfortunately for you and Sharon the Fairy Girl, are NOT going to go easy on you. I mean just this week you made me sad, Dagger. You claimed that Dustin Beaver was talking smack behind your back, I mean, that would be SO mean.”


Beavs wipes away a fake tear from under his eye. He then stares at the camera with cold, dark eyes.


DB: “What you may have failed to realize, Mr. Dag, was what even IF Dustin Beaver was talking shit about you sir…I’M A FUCKING HEEL! I realize you’ve only been in the WSeaF for two months or so, so I suppose I’ll explain to you what that means.”


Beaver points at himself with both thumbs.


DB: “It means that this guy right here doesn’t have to be nice and friendly to everyone, kissing their ass trying to be pals. Being a heel yourself, I figured you could appreciate that but no. You whined and cried that the Great Beaver wasn’t nice to you. I guess we’re just different types of heels. Dustin Beaver is the heel that gets booed because the fans know that I’m not going to cater to them but they know I am DAMN good and can beat any of their heroes on any night. You Dag, are the type of heel that people boo when you’re in the ring because well, because they just straight up can’t stand to see your face and they don’t want you out there in the first place. Slight differences, I know, but still noticeable to the Supreme Beavliever.”


Beavs sits up on the edge of the chair, glaring into the camera.


DB: “And if the problem was that you think I was talking behind your back well, let me be a little more upfront about it. I DON’T LIKE YOU OR WHAT YOU STAND FOR. Any time I see you talk it’s this bullshit, drivel, uninspired hate speech. It was entertaining for maybe a day or so, but then it became old hat pretty fucking quick. Again, we all know about your condition now, but come on man. You can do better than that Daglo, I know you have it in you, fella! At least like do a shoot where you wear nothing but a train conductor hat or something since we all know you have this model train fetish now. At least there will be multiple things to laugh at instead of just how sad of a life you lead!”


Beaver then puts his index finger in the air.


DB: “However, I think congratulations are in order for your title win. Frankly before your last promo, I had no idea you had anything to do with Norway, but hey, whatever works I guess! You know, I wasn’t aware that being born in Roanoke, Virginia made you Norwegian, but I’m glad that’s been cleared up! Dustin Beaver was proudly born in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and I still live there to this very day.”


Beavs pinches the top of his jersey with both hands and holds it up.


DB: “This is the jersey that MY people of MY country wore when they won a gold medal, a symbol of superiority over all others. They didn’t go somewhere else and then go, oh by the way, I had family that lived here at some point so I’m totally cool to represent this place I’ve never actually really had anything to do with. It just doesn’t fucking work, but that’s the way I’ve seen you work things since you’ve been here. You twist and turn things, always trying to make yourself somehow come out on top even if it doesn’t fucking make sense.”


Beaver then points at the camera.


DB: “With that in mind, let’s talk about the Family! I mean…what a fucking joke that is! Originally six people, less than a month later, already down to four. I’m glad that #FamilySticksTogether! Ha! How about you tell your partner, Sharon the Fairly Girl that, as he straight up said he doesn’t give a shit about the three of you left in that pathetic group not more than a week ago. I mean what the fuck, bro? I’ve seen some dysfunctional families on the Jerry Springer show and shit, but you guys just take it to all sorts of new heights.”


Beavs then points to his heart.


DB: “But my family, #beachkrew, talk about a group that knows how to get the fucking job done. 2015 Stable of the Year, multiple championships, still a force months later. You don’t see us crying and infighting all over the internet boards; WE’RE a God damn FAMILY! We don’t have to say it in name just to pretend like everything is going to work. I train, eat, sleep, borrow super talented kazoo playing kids, fuck bitches together and get kicked out of hockey arenas, with these incredible people. I consider it an honor whenever I get to team with any of my #beachkrew brothers or sister, much love Sandy. I’m proud as hell to be in #TeamBlackBeaver this week with Andre, and who knows, I might team with a different member or members of #beachkrew next week and I’ll still consider it just as much of an honor as I do this week. I know Andre has been gunning for a singles title, which he deserves, so I would like to see him get a shot at a title after we dominate this match. Shit, maybe he could get a shot at your International title, Dag; it would make just as much sense as you holding that belt! But the main point is that I love being in #beachkrew and I know that they consider me an irreplaceable member, a brother.”


The determination in Beaver’s eyes is strong and unwavering.


DB: “That is why #beachkrew, #TeamBlackBeaver, Dustin Beaver and Andre Aquarius are going to defeat the “Family”, Dag Riddik and Charon the Ferryman at Timebomb. We’re simply the better team and the better wrestlers, no bullshit needed. And if you don’t agree with that Dag and Charon, well, you guys are certainly going to find out the truth Sunday at the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas. All Andre and I have to do is, BEAVLIEVE!”