Post by Steve Orbit on Feb 27, 2016 21:50:03 GMT -5
Fade into... en empty classroom.
The lights are switched on as Steve Orbit walks into the room, carrying a briefcase. Not a gimmick briefcase like the one Orbit will be grabbing off the ceiling when he beats Logan at Timebomb, just a regular leather briefcase. He steps behind the teacher's desk and puts the case onto the desk. The chalkboard is behind him.
Steve Orbit: Hello, and welcome to my promo. This is part one of a two-part series on how I'ma embarass and destroy Logan at Timebomb because I hate him. Let's get right to it.
Orbit pops open the briefcase and pulls out a red wig. He lays it on the desk. Orbit turns to the chalkboard and writes "EXHIBIT A - RED WIG".
Steve Orbit: Let me take it back to 2012. I was a rookie in this company, I was just tryin' to find my way. I was having success and all that, of course. My first Summer with the company had just come to an end, you know what I'm sayin'-- I had two TV title runs and I was United States champion at the time. I'm tryin' to take you back, tryin' to show you the first interaction I ever had with Logan.
Orbit takes out a pointer with one hand, picks up the wig with his other, and points to the wig.
Steve Orbit: When I first met Logan, he was a God damn cross dressing transvestite. That's right-- the legendary Logan, the treachery, all that-- was wearing this wig, had make-up caked on his face and was walkin' around in women's clothing, walking around with dildos and fuckin' lube and all kinds of freaky shit in his purse.
Orbit reaches into the briefcase and takes out a still photograph of what appears to be security footage. The camera zooms in and we see Logan half-naked wearing a bra and panties with a pink strap-on dildo.
Steve Orbit: This is taken from footage at "Golden Spa", one of the massage joints I used to manage with my dead homie Golden Joey. This is real life, y'all. I am not making this up. I'm dealin' with facts, I am not dealin' with fantasy like Logan. I'm tellin' y'all the truth, and here it is.
Orbit puts the picture on the desk and writes "EXHIBIT B - WEIRD TRANNY PHOTO" on the chalkboard.
Steve Orbit: Look, I ain't one to dwell on the past and bring up all this old shit, but if we tryin' to understand how deep this shit goes between me and Logan, then we need to be talkin' about this shit. This mother fucker showed up at my private place of business, fucked up one of the customers, fucked up one of my rooms-- and then he tried to sexually assault me. Now we all know I can handle myself so I ain't let that happen, but the intent was there. If I was a little bit weaker, I'd be sittin' here right now talkin' about how Logan sucked my dick, maybe we fucked each other in the ass, who knows what would have taken place at that time. That was a scary, insane mother fucker. I had this friend at the time who was a psychologist, and I was spendin' time with her and tryin' to hit it on the side but she wouldn't let me get it because she's a good girl, not like these hoes out here. But Logan broke into her office and beat the fuck out of her, put her in the hospital-- he was jealous because I was spending time with Maria. When I went to see her at the hospital, Logan went outside the hospital and took a baseball bat to the mother fuckin' Lambo I had just bought less than a month ago. He was doin' some crazy, baby mama drama, fatal attraction type shit to your boy. So he's a faggot, right? Gotta be, right?
Orbit reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a small baggie with some pills inside. He writes "EXHIBIT C - PALL RED" on the chalkboard.
Steve Orbit: Logan was poppin' a lot of these pills, he called 'em 'Pall Reds'. I'ma be real with y'all-- I done a lot of fuckin' drugs in my life. I've done it all, A thru Z, you name it. I know dealers of every different country, different gangs, you know what I'm sayin, whatever. So I been askin' around for years now, and ain't nobody heard of no fuckin' drugs called Pall Reds. The best guess that I heard, from a chemist mother fucker I know, is that it's some kinda research chemical that ain't really known to the masses. Somethin' like bath salts-- maybe a stimulant with hallucinagenic properties, or maybe some kinda dissociative like PCP. You know when you hear a story about how some nigga cut his dick off and jumped out the window and then said Jesus told him to do it, that's because he was on some shit like that. So that would make sense... if we buy Logan's story. I think it's more likely that Logan is full of shit, he was poppin' Asprin, and he was just lookin' to excuse his behavior after he realized that Steve Orbit ain't into mother fuckin' trannies.
Orbit shakes his head in disgust. He takes out another photograph and puts it on the table. He writes "EXHIBIT D - SARAH TWILIGHT" on the board.
Steve Orbit: And then there's the other half of his obsession, the original man-woman, Sarah Twilight herself. Logan was so fucked up and beside himself when Sarah left WCF that he took it upon himself to throw on that red wig and be Sarah Twilight in her absence. That's how deep this shit went. He wanted to BE Sarah Twilight, and he wanted to FUCK Steve Orbit, but most of all-- he wanted to be anything and anyONE but who he really is-- mother fuckin' LOGAN. After all, who wants to be Logan in 2012? Nobody. So you can imagine how much worse it is in 2016, four years later. This mother fucker has been grasping at straws, tryin' to hang on to anything he can hold on to to keep himself going and keep himself relevant, ever since that whole 'Sarah Twilight' incident. Literally, ever since. He's gone from tag partner to tag partner, stable to stable-- disappointing and alienating everybody who put any type of investment in him along the way. He's the guy who disappears for the big match. He's the guy who ain't there when you need him. He's the bed shitter of the year four years in a row now, maybe longer, I can speak for the time when I wasn't in this company. All he's had is fake-ass returns, fake-ass alignments, fake-ass friends-- he's a fake-ass mother fucker, and I'ma expose his ass at Timebomb. Just like I have exposed him so many fuckin' times in the past.
Orbit takes out a picture of Seth Lerch and writes "EXHIBIT E - SETH LERCH".
Steve Orbit: There is one reason why Logan still has a job. One reason why he still gets opportunities after bitching out so many times in the past four-five years. After failing to show up time after time, after putting out weak performance after weak performance and then eventually just bailing on the company-- over and over again. This is who Logan is in 2016. This is not the "Face of Treachery" who used to be a feared competitor, who's name held weight and rang bells. No, Logan has no name value in 2016. He's pissed it all away with lame return after lame mother fuckin' return. Yet, somehow-- Logan keeps popping up, he comes back whenever he wants, he's protected and booked in prominent spots like he never left. And that's all because of the favoritism of one man-- you know who it is, Seth Lerch. Now look-- I know in the past I've said some wild shit about Seth and Logan. I've called 'em fags, said they love each other, all that stuff-- but I don't believe any of that, and I'm not here today for that. I'm dealin' in facts today. That's why we in a classroom. My theory is that Seth is just so attached to Logan after fifteen years-- he just can't let go. He's got a nostalgia boner, he's got them fond memories that he just can't let go of. But even SETH has to see that Logan is no longer a worthy investment-- right? Seth can't be that fuckin' detached from reality, can he? Look at what happened at Fifteen. We all remember. Seth rigged the match for Logan to win-- he literally snatched the briefcase out my hands and gave it to Logan, and then ten minutes later, Logan is basically spitting in Seth's face by bringing back Sarah Twilight. Do you get it now, Seth? Is that enough disappointment for you? This is Mr. WCF, why would he introduce a cancer like Twilight back into the system? I'll tell you why. Shock value, because that's all Logan has left. He doesn't give a fuck about this company, his legacy, or YOU, Seth. He just wants to come back, stir some shit up and fuckin' bounce when it's time to go to work. It's clear to everybody else, you should see it by now. Logan is a fuckin' disgrace to this business.
Orbit pulls out a Steve Orbit action figure and places it on the desk. He writes "EXHIBIT F - STEVE ORBIT" on the chalkboard.
Steve Orbit: But let's dig a little bit deeper here and talk some more truth. Logan has been a transvestite, a hot dog fetishist, a loser, a winner-- he's been gone, he's been here in the company, long hair, short hair, different ring attire, all kinda shit to try to reinvent himself. But one thing has remained constant. He has been obsessed with your boy Steve Orbit. I dunno why he has some kinda weird love affair with me-- I mean, I understand why anybody in the business would look up to somebody like me. I get that part, I'm a fuckin' beast in the ring. I held this company down for three years as the mother fuckin' back bone, the work horse, a staple in the main event-- all the other accolades that I don't need to mention, mother fuckers know. And Logan has just sat there, in awe, watching my every move. He tried to get close to me when we was in Genesis. When we had that World title match, he fuckin' showed up for the first time in years, he gave a performance worth watching. One that, I admit I was not prepared for, because every other time I had been in the ring with him, he was an uninspired bum ass mother fucker. That's the power I hold over this nigga. He's so fuckin' mental over me, it's like I bring the best out of him. He holds me in such high regard that he only shows up in form when he's gettin' ready to fight me. I'm the only one in this business that can say that-- am I the only one who "does it" for you, Logan? Am I the only one with enough skill, enough prowess, to be "worthy" of Logan showing up to fight like the good ol' days? I mean, that's cool. I suppose it's respect in a way. But I don't like the way this mother fucker is runnin' off his mouth all the time-- even as recent as Fifteen, he's talkin' about how he thought he already proved he was better than Steve Orbit. When, bruh? The one time you beat me-- by countout? Not the other times I Pimp Slapped your mother fuckin' face off? Or choked you the fuck out with your own shit? You only remember the countout, my nigga? Look, we can call it a delusion, call it what you want, but he's only bullshittin' himself 'cause ain't nobody else believe that shit. Everybody know Steve Orbit can take it to Logan no matter whether it's 2012, 2013, tomorrow, today, whatever. I like to see Mr. WCF fired up, I do. But don't get cute with me, Logan. You ain't never proved that you better than me. And Sunday, at Timebomb, I'ma set the record straight. You think we teachin' a lesson now, the lesson don't even start until the bell rings and I start lightin' yo' ass up with a two peice and a biscuit. I'm comin' into Timebomb lookin' to put this entire chapter of my career-- this entire "silent feud" I've had with Logan since back in the days, I'm lookin' to put this shit to bed once and for all. A ladder match-- I still don't know what's in the mother fuckin' briefcase, and I don't care so long as it's heavy enough to beat Logan over the head with once I grab it. So yeah, I got somethin' to prove in this match. I got a chip on my shoulder, yeah. I wanna put the hurt on Logan. I wanna beat his mother fuckin' ass for a multitude of reasons. This latest ripoff at Fifteen in the Final Destination match was just icing on the cake. This shit been bubbling under the surface for too long and Sunday, it explodes into a mess of mother fuckin' ladders and dangerous intent. Logan, you wanted me for a long time-- you got me. You got my attention, mother fucker. I'ma make you wish you picked somebody else to catch feelings for.
Orbit closes the briefcase.
Steve Orbit: Class dismissed. For now.
Orbit leaves the classroom, shutting off the light. Fade out.
The lights are switched on as Steve Orbit walks into the room, carrying a briefcase. Not a gimmick briefcase like the one Orbit will be grabbing off the ceiling when he beats Logan at Timebomb, just a regular leather briefcase. He steps behind the teacher's desk and puts the case onto the desk. The chalkboard is behind him.
Steve Orbit: Hello, and welcome to my promo. This is part one of a two-part series on how I'ma embarass and destroy Logan at Timebomb because I hate him. Let's get right to it.
Orbit pops open the briefcase and pulls out a red wig. He lays it on the desk. Orbit turns to the chalkboard and writes "EXHIBIT A - RED WIG".
Steve Orbit: Let me take it back to 2012. I was a rookie in this company, I was just tryin' to find my way. I was having success and all that, of course. My first Summer with the company had just come to an end, you know what I'm sayin'-- I had two TV title runs and I was United States champion at the time. I'm tryin' to take you back, tryin' to show you the first interaction I ever had with Logan.
Orbit takes out a pointer with one hand, picks up the wig with his other, and points to the wig.
Steve Orbit: When I first met Logan, he was a God damn cross dressing transvestite. That's right-- the legendary Logan, the treachery, all that-- was wearing this wig, had make-up caked on his face and was walkin' around in women's clothing, walking around with dildos and fuckin' lube and all kinds of freaky shit in his purse.
Orbit reaches into the briefcase and takes out a still photograph of what appears to be security footage. The camera zooms in and we see Logan half-naked wearing a bra and panties with a pink strap-on dildo.
Steve Orbit: This is taken from footage at "Golden Spa", one of the massage joints I used to manage with my dead homie Golden Joey. This is real life, y'all. I am not making this up. I'm dealin' with facts, I am not dealin' with fantasy like Logan. I'm tellin' y'all the truth, and here it is.
Orbit puts the picture on the desk and writes "EXHIBIT B - WEIRD TRANNY PHOTO" on the chalkboard.
Steve Orbit: Look, I ain't one to dwell on the past and bring up all this old shit, but if we tryin' to understand how deep this shit goes between me and Logan, then we need to be talkin' about this shit. This mother fucker showed up at my private place of business, fucked up one of the customers, fucked up one of my rooms-- and then he tried to sexually assault me. Now we all know I can handle myself so I ain't let that happen, but the intent was there. If I was a little bit weaker, I'd be sittin' here right now talkin' about how Logan sucked my dick, maybe we fucked each other in the ass, who knows what would have taken place at that time. That was a scary, insane mother fucker. I had this friend at the time who was a psychologist, and I was spendin' time with her and tryin' to hit it on the side but she wouldn't let me get it because she's a good girl, not like these hoes out here. But Logan broke into her office and beat the fuck out of her, put her in the hospital-- he was jealous because I was spending time with Maria. When I went to see her at the hospital, Logan went outside the hospital and took a baseball bat to the mother fuckin' Lambo I had just bought less than a month ago. He was doin' some crazy, baby mama drama, fatal attraction type shit to your boy. So he's a faggot, right? Gotta be, right?
Orbit reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a small baggie with some pills inside. He writes "EXHIBIT C - PALL RED" on the chalkboard.
Steve Orbit: Logan was poppin' a lot of these pills, he called 'em 'Pall Reds'. I'ma be real with y'all-- I done a lot of fuckin' drugs in my life. I've done it all, A thru Z, you name it. I know dealers of every different country, different gangs, you know what I'm sayin, whatever. So I been askin' around for years now, and ain't nobody heard of no fuckin' drugs called Pall Reds. The best guess that I heard, from a chemist mother fucker I know, is that it's some kinda research chemical that ain't really known to the masses. Somethin' like bath salts-- maybe a stimulant with hallucinagenic properties, or maybe some kinda dissociative like PCP. You know when you hear a story about how some nigga cut his dick off and jumped out the window and then said Jesus told him to do it, that's because he was on some shit like that. So that would make sense... if we buy Logan's story. I think it's more likely that Logan is full of shit, he was poppin' Asprin, and he was just lookin' to excuse his behavior after he realized that Steve Orbit ain't into mother fuckin' trannies.
Orbit shakes his head in disgust. He takes out another photograph and puts it on the table. He writes "EXHIBIT D - SARAH TWILIGHT" on the board.
Steve Orbit: And then there's the other half of his obsession, the original man-woman, Sarah Twilight herself. Logan was so fucked up and beside himself when Sarah left WCF that he took it upon himself to throw on that red wig and be Sarah Twilight in her absence. That's how deep this shit went. He wanted to BE Sarah Twilight, and he wanted to FUCK Steve Orbit, but most of all-- he wanted to be anything and anyONE but who he really is-- mother fuckin' LOGAN. After all, who wants to be Logan in 2012? Nobody. So you can imagine how much worse it is in 2016, four years later. This mother fucker has been grasping at straws, tryin' to hang on to anything he can hold on to to keep himself going and keep himself relevant, ever since that whole 'Sarah Twilight' incident. Literally, ever since. He's gone from tag partner to tag partner, stable to stable-- disappointing and alienating everybody who put any type of investment in him along the way. He's the guy who disappears for the big match. He's the guy who ain't there when you need him. He's the bed shitter of the year four years in a row now, maybe longer, I can speak for the time when I wasn't in this company. All he's had is fake-ass returns, fake-ass alignments, fake-ass friends-- he's a fake-ass mother fucker, and I'ma expose his ass at Timebomb. Just like I have exposed him so many fuckin' times in the past.
Orbit takes out a picture of Seth Lerch and writes "EXHIBIT E - SETH LERCH".
Steve Orbit: There is one reason why Logan still has a job. One reason why he still gets opportunities after bitching out so many times in the past four-five years. After failing to show up time after time, after putting out weak performance after weak performance and then eventually just bailing on the company-- over and over again. This is who Logan is in 2016. This is not the "Face of Treachery" who used to be a feared competitor, who's name held weight and rang bells. No, Logan has no name value in 2016. He's pissed it all away with lame return after lame mother fuckin' return. Yet, somehow-- Logan keeps popping up, he comes back whenever he wants, he's protected and booked in prominent spots like he never left. And that's all because of the favoritism of one man-- you know who it is, Seth Lerch. Now look-- I know in the past I've said some wild shit about Seth and Logan. I've called 'em fags, said they love each other, all that stuff-- but I don't believe any of that, and I'm not here today for that. I'm dealin' in facts today. That's why we in a classroom. My theory is that Seth is just so attached to Logan after fifteen years-- he just can't let go. He's got a nostalgia boner, he's got them fond memories that he just can't let go of. But even SETH has to see that Logan is no longer a worthy investment-- right? Seth can't be that fuckin' detached from reality, can he? Look at what happened at Fifteen. We all remember. Seth rigged the match for Logan to win-- he literally snatched the briefcase out my hands and gave it to Logan, and then ten minutes later, Logan is basically spitting in Seth's face by bringing back Sarah Twilight. Do you get it now, Seth? Is that enough disappointment for you? This is Mr. WCF, why would he introduce a cancer like Twilight back into the system? I'll tell you why. Shock value, because that's all Logan has left. He doesn't give a fuck about this company, his legacy, or YOU, Seth. He just wants to come back, stir some shit up and fuckin' bounce when it's time to go to work. It's clear to everybody else, you should see it by now. Logan is a fuckin' disgrace to this business.
Orbit pulls out a Steve Orbit action figure and places it on the desk. He writes "EXHIBIT F - STEVE ORBIT" on the chalkboard.
Steve Orbit: But let's dig a little bit deeper here and talk some more truth. Logan has been a transvestite, a hot dog fetishist, a loser, a winner-- he's been gone, he's been here in the company, long hair, short hair, different ring attire, all kinda shit to try to reinvent himself. But one thing has remained constant. He has been obsessed with your boy Steve Orbit. I dunno why he has some kinda weird love affair with me-- I mean, I understand why anybody in the business would look up to somebody like me. I get that part, I'm a fuckin' beast in the ring. I held this company down for three years as the mother fuckin' back bone, the work horse, a staple in the main event-- all the other accolades that I don't need to mention, mother fuckers know. And Logan has just sat there, in awe, watching my every move. He tried to get close to me when we was in Genesis. When we had that World title match, he fuckin' showed up for the first time in years, he gave a performance worth watching. One that, I admit I was not prepared for, because every other time I had been in the ring with him, he was an uninspired bum ass mother fucker. That's the power I hold over this nigga. He's so fuckin' mental over me, it's like I bring the best out of him. He holds me in such high regard that he only shows up in form when he's gettin' ready to fight me. I'm the only one in this business that can say that-- am I the only one who "does it" for you, Logan? Am I the only one with enough skill, enough prowess, to be "worthy" of Logan showing up to fight like the good ol' days? I mean, that's cool. I suppose it's respect in a way. But I don't like the way this mother fucker is runnin' off his mouth all the time-- even as recent as Fifteen, he's talkin' about how he thought he already proved he was better than Steve Orbit. When, bruh? The one time you beat me-- by countout? Not the other times I Pimp Slapped your mother fuckin' face off? Or choked you the fuck out with your own shit? You only remember the countout, my nigga? Look, we can call it a delusion, call it what you want, but he's only bullshittin' himself 'cause ain't nobody else believe that shit. Everybody know Steve Orbit can take it to Logan no matter whether it's 2012, 2013, tomorrow, today, whatever. I like to see Mr. WCF fired up, I do. But don't get cute with me, Logan. You ain't never proved that you better than me. And Sunday, at Timebomb, I'ma set the record straight. You think we teachin' a lesson now, the lesson don't even start until the bell rings and I start lightin' yo' ass up with a two peice and a biscuit. I'm comin' into Timebomb lookin' to put this entire chapter of my career-- this entire "silent feud" I've had with Logan since back in the days, I'm lookin' to put this shit to bed once and for all. A ladder match-- I still don't know what's in the mother fuckin' briefcase, and I don't care so long as it's heavy enough to beat Logan over the head with once I grab it. So yeah, I got somethin' to prove in this match. I got a chip on my shoulder, yeah. I wanna put the hurt on Logan. I wanna beat his mother fuckin' ass for a multitude of reasons. This latest ripoff at Fifteen in the Final Destination match was just icing on the cake. This shit been bubbling under the surface for too long and Sunday, it explodes into a mess of mother fuckin' ladders and dangerous intent. Logan, you wanted me for a long time-- you got me. You got my attention, mother fucker. I'ma make you wish you picked somebody else to catch feelings for.
Orbit closes the briefcase.
Steve Orbit: Class dismissed. For now.
Orbit leaves the classroom, shutting off the light. Fade out.
