Detective Cooper: Who Murdered Ms. Violet?

[Logan]

Finding the killer of Steve Orbit’s Mother, Ms. Violet, fell short to being anything of an easy task. The case was colder than her corpse. I thought by solving this age old mystery it would possibly unhinge the stick swinging inwards and outwards from Steve Orbit’s rear and thus his constant whining of my victories over himself would cease. To help put this case to rest, I enlisted the efforts of local Cooper Land resident, Dr. Alfred. Despite his vast intelligence and respectable title, he stood seven feet, and was much larger than myself. Brain and brawns all combined into Dr. Alfred. He seemed rather reluctant join me in my crusade of fixing Steve Orbit; however after a good dirty down wrestling in the swamp he was convinced otherwise. Our first stop found us leaving the swamp, of course, taking Dr. Alfred out of his element and bringing ourselves into the gutters of wherever it was that Orbit’s Mother once resided. To be honest, the Doctor and I had been drinking sixty-five hours without a wink of sleep, but I fully believed we were in the right location.

Logan: Don’t worry, Alfred. I see him too.

The good Doctor unleashed a Crown Royal smelling burp and one of my own chased his. We fingered the man leaned up into a dirty brick wall. From a mere five feet off my nose already picked up the scent oozing from his garbage essence. I admired the courage one needed to let themselves reek so badly. I once held up in a hotel, turning the room into a personal cave, the windows covered in black sheets, and went an entire seven days without my skin taking any water. On that seventh wash-free day, I suspected my skin was beginning to rot, but this… this guy had over a year of smells exiting every puss clogged pore.

Logan: Where were you in…

The sixty plus hours of being awake fogged my memory. I couldn’t remember the exact date of Ms. Violet’s demise.

Logan: The nineteen nineties?

I turned to Dr. Alfred for acknowledgement. He blinked. Good enough.

Logan: Do you remember your whereabouts on the entire year of nineteen ninety-nine?

The man’s face reeked with panic. My build and deep voice certainly was the intimidating factor to his fear.

Logan: It’s okay. Try to relax. What is your name?

Ben: … Ben.

Perhaps it was not my physic that had him choked. I could see the guilt in his eyes. This was the guy who killed Steve Orbit’s Mother. No question. A decade old cold case solved by yours truly in the matter of half a day.

Logan: Did Ms. Violet express that same panic when you dropped a knife into her back?

Dr. Alfred shuffled to my side. His interest had peeked as well. We had our guy.

Logan: Well, Ben, are you ready to confess? It’s for the best that you finally release the weight from your shoulders. Come out with it.

The man was a coward. He began to sink down into a pile of trash bags.

Logan: For Pete’s sakes… I’m not here to harm you. This is justice for Ms. Violet. The police will deal with you.

And deeper into the garbage he sunk.

Logan: What’s wrong, Ben?

Ben: There is an alligator behind you!

Logan: Yes. I’m fully aware of that. He’s a Doctor of Cooper Land, and if you’d like to keep a leg you’d refer to him as Dr. Alfred from here on out.

The Doctor swayed his tail side to side in approval.

Ben: What?!

I recognized the tactics Ben was using. He was trying to lift attention from himself in hopes I’d suddenly forget my suspicion. If I had went just another day without sleep it may have worked, but for now I was still very much sharp between the ears, as was Dr. Alfred, despite his lack of ears.

Logan: Why did you kill her?

Ben: Kill who?!

The jaws of Dr. Alfred spilled open for a menacing growl – good cop, bad cop style.

Logan: Ms. Violet!

Ben: Never heard of her.

Disappointment flooded my mood. I hoped he would had confessed and made this less difficult for Dr. Alfred and I.

Logan: Tell that to the police.

I jerked Ben up by his retched arm and the three of us began our escort to the nearest police station, however we were immediately greeted outside and were denied entry.

Policemen: What in the flying fuck is that?

Logan: This?

I pushed Ben into the officer’s path.

Logan: Is the man who murdered Ms. Violet all those years ago. You’re welcome.

Policemen: No. Damn it. The fuckin’ alligator.

I was offended as was Dr. Alfred.

Logan: I hand you over a case, closed and shut, and not only do you not even acknowledge my good deed but you belittle my partner too? I’d like to speak to your supervisor.

Needless to say an entire force of policemen gathered near us and soon we were asked to leave, well, told to. They dismissed Ben as nothing more than a drug addict and let him walk. Dirty cops. I wonder how much money he paid them off.

Logan: We’ll get them, Doc. We will bring this whole crooked station down with Ms. Violet’s killer.

Dr. Alfred waddled beside me on our journey back to Cooper Land, Louisiana.

Logan: One day Steve Orbit will get the closure he deserves, however until then I suspect I will have to put up with his whining.

The Doctor took a chomp of thin air.

Logan: I know, Dr. Alfred. I know.