The Adventures of Team #BlackBeaver (part 1 of 2)

[Dustin Beaver]

Tuesday February 23rd, 11:15 am


The scene opens with Dustin Beaver standing in the waiting area of the Toronto Pearson International Airport. He’s been hanging out at the airport for around half an hour waiting for his guest to arrive. Beavs would have been more irritated by the lateness of the flight, but the Cinnabon in his hand was able to eliminate the majority of his annoyance. Just as Beaver finished the last bite of his delicious treat, he heard a familiar voice call out above the noise around him.


Andre Aquarius: “Man, I wouldn’t be eatin’ too many of those, my nilla. Yo ass gonna be fatter than one of the hood rats I hit on the reg back home!”


Beavs nearly choked on the end of his Cinnabon, laughing at Andre’s greeting.


Dustin Beaver: “Yo! What’s good, my niqqa? How was the flight?!”


Andre stretched his arms up towards the sky and let out a loud yell.


AA: “Aw you know how it is, man, avoiding the stares of a bunch of stuck up white people who don’t think a black man belongs in first class…wait, I guess you probably don’t know what that’s like. But yeah, it was pretty much that.”


DB: “Ha yeah, I wouldn’t worry about assholes like that, brotha. They were probably just trying to figure out what famous black person you were.”


AA: “Ha ha, ain’t that the fuckin’ truth though. Well let’s go grab my shit and get this motha fuckin’ party started, son! Where’s the first hot spot we’re off to?!”


Beaver chuckled at Andre’s enthusiasm.


DB: “Well I wouldn’t necessarily call our first stop a “hot spot”.”


Andre looked quizzically at Beavs.


AA: “The fuck you takin’ me to, Beaver?”


A sly grin came across Beavs’ face.


DB: “We’re going to give back to the community; I’ll tell you all about it on the way there.”


AA: “Maaaaan, this better not be any gay shit, Beaver. I’m warning you!”


Tuesday February 23rd, 12:30 pm


Beaver rolled the Escalade into the Chester Elementary School parking lot in the heart of Toronto. He managed to find a nicely located visitor spot and parked. Beavs turned to look at Andre who just shook his head at him.


AA: “Damn it, Beavs, I can’t believe you’re making me do this. I mean, fuck, it’s cool that we get to talk to the kids and shit, but I dunno man, I’m just not good at speeches for younger people, ya know?”


DB: “Don’t worry, Andre, I’ll do the majority of the talking. You can just chip in some inspirational words of wisdom if they come to you. Shit like this is good for the #beachkrew image, plus doing something like this will have all those hot single mamas hanging off your jock!”


Andre stared ahead and nodded, obviously in thought of Beaver’s last comment.


AA: “Damn Beavs, you right. Alright, let’s get in there and do this shit then!”


Beaver unbuckled his seat belt and turned towards Andre with a serious expression on his face.


DB: “Remember to keep the swearing to a minimum for now though, I don’t think the teacher is going to want you saying ‘fuck’ this and ‘shit’ that in front of the children.”


AA: “You can count on me, nilla. You’ll get the PG Andre for this sh…stuff.”


DB: “Good! Let’s get to it then!”


Beaver and Andre exited the Escalade and made their way through the main entrance doors of the school. They quickly located a sign that pointed them towards the direction of the main office. Beavs and Andre found the appropriate door and walked in. There was a receptionist immediately to their right as they entered. Beaver greeted the receptionist with a bright white smile before speaking.


DB: “Good afternoon, ma’am. We are Dustin Beaver and Andre Aquarius. We are supposed to speak to Mrs. Martin’s kindergarten class today.”


The old lady smiled at Beavs before looking down at a piece of paper in front of her.


Receptionist: “Justin Bie…”


Beaver quickly interrupted the older receptionist before she finished saying the whole name.


DB: “No, no ma’am. The names should be DUSTIN BEAVER and Andre Aquarius.”


The receptionist moved her finger up and down the paper in front of her until it finally came to rest on one spot.


Receptionist: “Ah yes, Mr. Beaver and Mr. Aquarius. It looks like Mrs. Martin expected you to show up sometime after noon.”


The receptionist opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out two blue laminated cards with lanyards attached to them and handed them to Beavs.


Receptionist: “Here are your visitor tags and to get to Mrs. Martin’s room you’ll just exit here and turn right. It will be the third door on the right after this one. I’ll use the intercom just after you leave to let her know you two young men are on your way.”


Beaver handed Andre one of the visitor tags and they each put them around their neck.


DB: “Excellent, thank you very much for your assistance, ma’am. You have a nice day!”


Beavs and Andre left the office and made their way towards the classroom. They came to a stop in front of the door to Mrs. Martin’s room and stopped. There was no mistaking that they were at the right room as the door had gold, shiny letters that said “Mrs. Martin’s Class” with cardboard cut outs of children’s hands with names written on them all over it. Beaver turned to Andre and exhaled.


DB: “Alright Andre, this is it. You ready for this?”


Aquarius hopped in place for a moment and shook his hands out.


AA: “Yeah Beaver, let’s do it.”


Beaver paused a moment and then knocked on the door.


Voice: “Yes, please come in!”


As Beavs opened the door, the screaming children that greeted his and Andre’s presence made them realize that they were going way outside of their normal comfort zone. An overly happy, beaming Mrs. Martin, a woman in her late 30s-early 40s who looked like the type of lady to own 100 plus cats at her house, welcomed them to her class.


Mrs. Martin: “Mr. Beaver, Mr. Aquarius! The students have very much looked forward to you two young men meeting with us today!”


Beaver awkwardly smiled at the boys and girls as Andre looked on, a look of sheer terror plastered on his face.


Mrs. Martin: “Friends, this is Dustin Beaver and Andre Aquarius. They are professional wrestlers for the World Championship Federation! They go to big stadiums and get to be on TV every week and perform awesome physical feats for you guys to enjoy!”


Beaver continued to smile and he waved at the children as they continued to stare back. Andre on the other hand had spotted something that had gained his interest. He stared at a child that looked familiar to him and he just couldn’t shake the feeling. The boy had dirty blonde hair cut into a bowl cut. He wore a blue shirt and red shorts with a white stripe going down each side. He also had long white socks pulled up almost to his knees and he wore white tennis shoes. Aquarius wasn’t exactly sure why this boy seemed like such a big deal but then it happened. While Beaver was answering some question the teacher had asked, the boy pulled a bright red kazoo out of his pocket and started playing it. Andre’s eyes went wide and he started to tap on Beaver’s arm. He attempted to get Beavs’ attention in a hushed voice.


AA: “Yo Beavs, this kid, Beaver...this fuckin’ kid, man.”


The expletive word managed to pull Beaver’s attention away from the class.


DB: “Andre, what did I tell you about the f’n, bro. And what is the problem?”


AA: “Sorry nilla, but this kid man, it’s him! It’s…the Kazoo Kid!”


Beaver followed Andre’s gaze to the boy who continued to sit there and play tunes on his red kazoo. Beavs turned to Mrs. Martin and apologized for stopping mid-sentence.


DB: “Kazoo Kid? I don’t know if I’m familiar with whom that is. Do you know him or something?”


Andre gave Beaver a look of bewilderment.


AA: “For real, fam? You’ve never heard of THE Kazoo Kid?!”


DB: “No bruh, but let me finish talking to everyone and then you can go talk to your hero afterwards, cool?”


Aquarius backhanded Beaver’s arm.


AA: “Come on man; don’t be clownin’…but yeah, that’s cool.”


Beavs finished up answering questions and talking to the class as Andre continued to listen to the sick beats Kazoo Kid was belting out on his fiery red kazoo. The class hollered and cheered once Beaver was done speaking, just after this, Andre turned to Mrs. Martin, pointing at Kazoo Kid with his right hand.


AA: “Yo Mrs. Martin, I think that boy right there with the blue shirt and red shorts had a question for us, is it cool if we talk to him?”


Mrs. Martin looked where Andre was pointing, and saw the little boy with the kazoo.


Mrs. Martin: “Oh you mean little Brett over there? Sure, I’ve heard he’s a big fan of you two!”


AA: “Dope! Let’s go, Beavs!”


Andre pulled Beaver over to the boy by his arm, not wanting to wait to meet the kid that was somewhat of a legend in certain circles. Aquarius watched as the boy laid down a sick beat for a moment before speaking to him.


AA: “Yo kid, I like your sound. How about you play somethin' for me real quick, the best beat you got.”


Kazoo Kid looked up at Andre for second before going back to playing. He laid down a bad ass beat that even had Beaver nodding his head, this kid was really a wiz with that kazoo. Andre enthusiastically moved his head with the beat. Once the kid was done, both Beavs and Aquarius clapped their hands, Andre a little more excitedly than Beaver. Andre then spun Beavs around in a 180 to have a chat about what they had just witnessed.


AA: “Beaver man, this kid has INSPIRED me! Tell me you still have access to a recording studio in this city based on your past career shit.”


Beavs raised an eyebrow at Andre, not sure where he was going with this.


DB: “Yeah, I could probably hook something up. What did you have in mind?"


Andre looked to the left and to the right before answering the question presented.


AA: “Bruh, we need to borrow this kid, just for the day! So we can get him to lay down those bangin’ beats and record them. I want to rap some shit over that kazoo for our pay-per-view match this weekend!”


Beaver laughed but when he looked at Andre again, he noticed that a serious expression was still on his face.


DB: “Are you for real, bro?! We can’t just take a kid from here!”


AA: “Beavs I told you, we’ll BORROW him. We take him with us, get those sick kazoo beats, and then ask him where he lives and drop him off at home, simple shit!”


Beaver hung his head and shook it back and forth. He couldn’t Beavlieve he was even thinking about honoring this insane request.


DB: “Well what do you want to tell his teacher, Andre? Should we just go, “Yo we need to take this kid with us; he needs to lay down some crazy kazoo jams in our studio!”

Aquarius thought for a minute before replying.


AA: “Just tell that trick that his moms or dad or some shit said it was ok that he rolls out with us for a little while today.”


DB: “Yeah but what do we do when the teacher calls his parents and they’re like, “What? No we didn’t ok that!”


AA: “Then we just go, “Oops our bad, must have been a misunderstanding!” Please Beavs I need this kid’s beats, man!”


Beaver scratched his head and then finally shrugged his shoulders, giving into his partner's request.


DB:"Alright Andre, we'll at least try to get this kid into the studio. But you have just today and then we take him right back home, no ice cream stops or any crazy trash like that."


Aquarius pumped his fist.


AA: "Hell yeah, Beavs, that's what I'm talkin' about! Alright well let's not waste any time then. Let's go tell that old teacher chick that Kazoo Kid's moms said it was ok if we dipped out with him now that we're done with our visit."


DB: "I guess and I'll do the talking, I think I've gained some rapport with her. Hopefully for your sake, this works!"


Beaver walked back over to Mrs. Martin, Andre following closely behind him.


DB: "Hey Mrs. Martin, I think we're going to be going here soon."


Mrs. Martin smiled back at him, with that crazy cat lady look in her eye.


Mrs. Martin: "Oh ok, well thank you two young men so much for coming in and talking to the kids, I can tell they really appreciated it!"


DB: "Yeah sure, no problem. But little Brett over there with the kazoo... his mom said that it was ok if we took him out of class and took him on a field trip to... Musideum, that musical instrument museum here in Toronto. You know how fond of that kazoo he is!"


An unsure look quickly came across the teacher's face.


Mrs. Martin: "Oh I didn't realize that was going on today, at least his mom didn't mention anything to me about it."


Beaver had to think quickly on his feet.


DB: "Um yeah, it was just kind of thrown together at the last minute. We were supposed to take him to Musideum, let him play around with some of the stuff they have there and then drop him off at home when we're done. Just a real quick visit and then we take him right back to his mom!"


Beavs stared at Mrs. Martin with determination while she looked away for a moment in thought. A second later, she returned to looking at Beaver with the maniacal smile on her face.


Mrs. Martin: "Yeah that sounds like something she would approve of."


The teacher then motioned with her hand for Beavs and Andre to lean in closer while she did the same. Mrs. Martin spoke in a hushed voice.


Mrs. Martin: "Frankly between the three of us, I wouldn't be surprised if his mom just gave him to some random person on the street. That lady is a real piece of work."


The teacher leaned back again as a surprised Beaver and Aquarius did the same.


Mrs. Martin: "Oh Brett, could you come over here please?!"


Little Brett strolled over to the group, still playing his kazoo.


Mrs. Martin: "Brett, I hear that you get to go on a field trip with these two wrestlers today! Are you ready to go with them?!"


Kazoo Kid looked over at the two men as Beaver and Andre smiled back at him. Brett then looked back at his teacher.


Kazoo Kid: "Sure!"


Mrs. Martin: "Excellent, make sure you grab your backpack and have fun at Musideum!"


Without saying a word, Kazoo Kid went and grabbed his backpack from his cubby hole and stood by the door, waiting for Beavs and Aquarius to join him. The #beachkrew wrestlers glanced at each other in shock for just a second, in disbelief that their plan had actually worked, before rushing over to join their new accomplice by the door. Beaver turned to face the class one more time before leaving.


DB: "Bye kids and just remember, hugs not drugs!"


With that Beaver, Andre and Kazoo Kid left the classroom and headed outside to Beavs’ Escalade after dropping the visitor tags off at the main office. Everyone buckled into their seats and Beaver and Andre turned to the boy sitting in the back, still jamming away on his kazoo.


AA: “So Kazoo Kid, how would you like to go play your kazoo in front of a microphone so we can record your slammin’ songs?”


Kazoo Kid shrugged his shoulders.


KK: “Sure.”


Andre turned to Beaver.


AA: “Alright man, it’s up to you. Call up that contact you got and let’s get this motha fu... show on the road!”


Beavs pulled his phone out.


DB: “Right, here goes nothing I suppose.”


Beaver went through the contacts list in his phone before coming to rest on the name he needed. He then hit the green phone button to begin the call. A rough sounding voice answered the phone after two rings.


Voice: “Yeah, who the hell is this?”


DB: “Mr. Biggs, it’s Dustin Beaver; it’s been a long time.”


Mr. Biggs: “No shit! Dustin fuckin’ Beaver! Yeah it’s been about forever! Are you finally ready to come down to the studio and record some more tracks for me?! That shit would be gold now with your wrestling notoriety!”


Beaver paused for a moment.


DB: “Kind of, I want to record something. But I have someone else with me who would be laying down the music.”


Mr. Biggs: “Well bring ‘em the hell on down then, a friend of Dustin Beaver’s is a friend of mine!”


DB: “Ok my man, we’ll be there in about half an hour then!”


Mr. Biggs: “That works for me! I’ll make sure that everything is ready to roll!”


DB: “Perfect, see you.”


Beavs then pressed the red phone button to end the call. He looked at both Andre and the kid before speaking again.


DB: “Well I hope you guys are ready, because here we go!”


Tuesday February 23rd, 1:25 pm


Beaver pulled the Escalade into the parking lot of a small brick building that had a large neon sign above the front door that read, “Revolution Recording”.


DB: “Well here we are, boys. This is the recording studio yours truly sang at years ago when I was doing the old thing.”


Beavs turned to the boy in the back seat.


DB: “You ready to do this, buddy?”


Kazoo Kid again just shrugged his shoulders.


KK: “Sure.”


AA: “Coo, now let’s get up in here.”


The three exited the Escalade and made their way through the front door. Mr. Biggs was a balding, middle aged man that dressed in an overly tacky business suit, wearing several pieces of gaudy jewelry. He greeted the trio with open arms.


Mr. Biggs: “Beaver baby, it’s good to see you again! Who are your friends?!”


DB: “Yo Mr. Biggs, this is Andre Aquarius, proud #beachkrew member and my current tag team partner… and this little guy is…Kazoo Kid. He’s the one that will be having his music recorded today.”


Biggs looked down at the boy.


Mr. Biggs: “So does he sing or play like guitar or what?”


DB: “Well he, um, plays an instrument.”


Beaver looked at Kazoo kid as the boy stared right back at him.


DB: “Why don’t you show him really quick what you do, kid.”


KK: “Sure.”


Kazoo Kid then busted out his shiny red kazoo and began to play a tune. Mr. Biggs chuckled briefly at the display.


Mr. Biggs: “Are you for real right now, Beavs?”


Andre then cut in on the conversation.


AA: “Hell yeah he’s serious, I need these beats so I can lay down some raps over them for Beaver and I’s match comin’ up!”


Biggs seeing the serious front Aquarius was putting on decided to back down.


Mr. Biggs: “Well, let’s get this young man in the studio then and get this done!”


Biggs showed Kazoo Kid the booth where he would be playing his music, while the other three made their way into the mixing area. Once inside, Biggs hit the intercom button to give the boy instructions.


Mr. Biggs: “Ok kid, when I give you a thumbs up that means you start playing your kazoo there. Does that sound ok?”


KK: “Sure.”


Mr. Biggs: “Alrighty, here we go then!”


Biggs slid a few sliders around on the mixing board in front of him and then checked a few other things. After a couple minutes, he gave Kazoo Kid the thumbs up and the music playing began. The kid dropped the sickest beat any of the three men had ever heard from a kazoo. It was like the type of epicness that would have put any Grammy winner to shame because of how much better the kazoo beat was. Biggs spun around in his chair to stare at the two #beachkrew brothers behind him.


Mr. Biggs: “Damn you guys were not fucking joking, this kid is incredible!”


AA: “Told you, man! This kid is the motha fuckin’ future of music, better motha fuckin’ recognize!”


After Kazoo Kid laid down about 10 minutes worth of the best kazoo playing the universe had ever heard, he was done. All three men in the booth had tears in their eyes from the incredible music display they had just witnessed. They boy stood in the recording area for a minute while the three men composed themselves. Biggs wiped a tear from his eye before hitting the intercom button once again.


Mr. Biggs: “That was…amazing, kid. The three of us will be in there in just a sec.”


KK: “Sure.”


Biggs looked at Beaver and Aquarius with a thoughtful look on his face.


Mr. Biggs: “Has that kid been signed by anyone yet? I have some SERIOUS interest in getting him in here to record a full length album.”


DB: “Well you’re going to probably have to ask his mom about that one. Speaking of which, Andre and I need to get the hell out of here so we can take the kid back to her before she knows something is up.”


Biggs gave Beaver a weird look.


Mr. Biggs: “What did you kidnap this kid or something?”


AA: “Kinda, Beavs here made up a great lie and we are just borrowing him so we could get this kazoo shit laid down. But yeah, we should bounce. Hook me up with a copy of that tape before we leave, man.”


Mr. Biggs: “You got it, here you go.”


Aquarius snatched the tape out of Biggs’ hand and the three exited the mixing area. They walked into the recording area where the kid still patiently stood.


DB: “That was awesome, kid, you ready to go home?”


KK: “Sure.”


The trio exited the recording studio, shaking hands with Biggs as they did so.


Mr. Biggs: “Yeah let that little guy’s mom know that I’m interested in getting him back here soon. Thanks for bringing him in, Beavs.”


DB: “No prob Mr. Biggs thanks for the tape. I’m sure I’ll talk to you again sometime.”


With the good byes out of the way, it was time to take the kid back to his mom. Beaver asked Kazoo Kid his address, which fortunately, he recited right away. Beavs plugged the address into his GPS, praying that directions would pop up. Much to his delight and relief, the directions did come up and they said that they were about 25 minutes away from the boy’s house.


DB: “Whew, looks good, Andre! Everyone buckle the fu…heck up, here we go!”


Tuesday February 23rd, 3:35 pm


Beaver arrived at the address the GPS had indicated. He turned around to face the boy in the backseat.


DB: “Is this your house, kid?”


KK: “Yup.”


DB: “Perfect, well make sure you grab your backpack and let’s get you in there.”


The three exited the vehicle and started their walk to the front door. The area seemed a little sketchy, as they saw quite a few people passed out on porches, in addition to rusted out vehicles parked all over the street and in people’s yards at some of the more dilapidated looking houses. Kazoo Kid seemed ok with the situation though, so it didn’t bother Beaver too much. The boy stood next to Beaver, with Andre right behind them as they stood at the front door. Beavs knocked a couple times, loud enough that someone could easily hear it, but not ghetto knocking. No response followed after a lengthy wait. Beaver knocked on the door three times, much harder this time. After another ten seconds, a voice finally came from inside the house.


Voice: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, chill the fuck out, I’m getting up!”


Beaver and Andre looked at each other as the boy continued to stare at the door, unfazed by the language coming from the other side. After another minute, the door finally swung open and revealed a skinny blonde who looked to be in her early 20s with her at least D tits semi hanging out of a loosely tied bathrobe. She appeared to be in some distress as she held her head while shielding her eyes from the sunlight now flooding into the house from the open doorway. The woman did smell like a hotel mini bar, which might have had something to do with her current condition. Beavs was in shock by the display in front of him and stammered a bit with his prepared speech he had come up with to drop off the Kazoo Kid.


DB: “Um, uh, hi there, I’m Dustin Beaver and this is Andre Aquarius, we’re professional wrestlers with the WSeaF and for a charity event, we were picked to drop your son off at home from school today.”


Beavs looked back at Andre for a second; Andre’s stare was obvious as he fixated on the cleavage that was being prominently displayed.


KK’s Mom: “What? You’re wrestlers?”


Kazoo Kid’s mom moved her hand to examine the two #beachkrew men in front of her a little more closely.


DB: “Yes ma’am, we’re professional wrestlers in the World Championship Federation, the largest and best wrestling organization in the world. We travel to different arenas throughout the world and we’re on TV in some fashion every single week.”


KK’s Mom: “Oh, so you’re probably famous then, huh?”


Kazoo Kid’s mom then slid the front of her robe a little more over to the side, revealing even more skin than before. Beavs turned around to face Aquarius once again, but Andre was practically licking his lips at that point, staring at what the mom was bringing to the table. Kazoo Kid continued to stand in the middle of this conversation, undaunted by what was taking place.


DB: “Um well, yeah, we definitely are. People recognize us all the time whenever we go out.”


Kazoo Kid’s mom slyly smiled. Without looking down at her son, she spoke.


KK’s Mom: “Brett, honey, go play with your friends down the street. I heard them screaming, so I’m sure they’re home.”


KK: “Sure.”


And just like that, the legend that was Kazoo Kid made his way off the step and down the street towards his friend’s house.


KK’s Mom: “How about you boys come inside and tell me all about being famous.”


Beaver again looked back at Andre, this time Aquarius looked right back at Beavs and enthusiastically nodded his head up and down. The two joined Kazoo Kid’s mom and clothes quickly flew off of all three of them. Before anyone knew it, the trio were in the bedroom, Andre positioned behind a bent over Kazoo Kid’s mom giving her the business, while Beaver knelt down in front of her receiving some oral pleasure. After some time, Aquarius leaned over the woman with his arms stretched out, finger tips pointing up in the air. Beaver glanced up and noticed this; he did the same and touched finger tips with Andre, completing their Toronto Eiffel Tower. After a little more fun time, Andre finally broke the non-moaning silence.


AA: “Man Beavs, now THIS is a fuckin’ vacation! I don’t even wanna go to that damn match this weekend bruh, let’s just keep doin’ shit like this!”


Beaver had almost completely forgotten Aquarius’s reason for being in Toronto, but then it hit him that they should probably talk about their match. With only Kazoo Kid’s mom's moans of ecstasy vibrating off of Beavs’ little guy, the time seemed right as any to at least mention their upcoming bout.


DB: “Yeah but we need to at least discuss that a little bit, don’t ya think?”


AA: “Man, fuck Dag the Dick and Sharon the Fairy Girl, we’re going to straight murk those bitches!”


Judging by Andre’s exclamation, Beaver couldn’t tell if Andre really thought Charron the Ferryman was a woman or not.


DB: “You know Charron the Ferryman is a guy, right?”


AA: “What? That dude is a fairy and he’s a guy?! That shit can’t be right, man.”


DB: “No bro, it’s Charron the FERRYman. Like a guy that takes you on a boat to another place not too far away across water.”


AA: “Oh word…well that shit’s gayer than if he was a fairy with wings and sparkles and shit!”


Just then, Beaver lost concentration of the conversation as he was about to bring this interaction to an explosive finish. Beavs unloaded what he had, and Kazoo Kid’s mom took it in stride. Beaver stood up once again and began the search for his clothes.


AA: “All done? I already busted one off but I wanna get another one in, if that’s cool.”


DB: “Yeah man, I’ll just go chill on the couch in the living room.”


Beavs walked out to the living room and sat on the worn in fuchsia colored couch that didn’t match anything else in the home. Beaver felt good now, but he was finally starting to think about the big pay-per-view match Andre and he still needed to prepare for. Beaver stretched his arms across the couch and put his feet up on the dirty coffee table in front of him.


DB: “Charron the Ferryman, I can’t say that I know much about the guy, yet another fucking noob in the WSeaF that thinks he can step to the Great Beaver. I don’t know why, but even though he’s new something feels familiar about this dude. I already watched his match from last week just to get a sense of who I was dealing with, and let’s just say that I came away less than impressed. This asshole didn’t even look like he cared about what the hell was going in the match he was in. I mean, why even bother if you’re going to have that kind of shitty attitude? And in addition to that, I’ve heard this mother fucker say he doesn’t even give a shit about his own fucking stable mates! I Beavlieve the quote from his interview with Hank Brown before his last match was, “I dread this match because the team I go into this match with is not so much of a team, but rather individuals who call themselves a team, when in fact, most of these members are out there for their own benefit.”


Beaver shook his head side to side, remembering what Charron had said.


DB: “Bruh, if you’re going to fucking have a chance in a TAG TEAM match you should at least give a rat’s ass about at least one person in your squad. But no, you’re a fucking whiny bitch and you haven’t even had to deal with shit in the WSeaF yet! If you think #beachkrew, the most powerful faction in all of wrestling anywhere today, is going to lose to some fucking garbage like that, you’re just out of your fucking mind. I will enjoy every second of the annihilation that my niqqa, Andre, and I will be handing out to you and your boy that you threw to the curb. I’m not even going to talk about that ass clown yet, because well, I don’t fucking want to. He’ll get his in due time, don’t you worry about that, I haven’t forgotten about Ol’ Dag, not in the slightest.”


Beavs chuckled about something to himself and adjusted his sitting position on the ramshackle couch.


DB: “Yeah it’s funny; Andre not more than 5 minutes ago didn’t even know that you were a man. Like he straight up thought you were a chick with a FAIRY gimmick, like wings and pixie dust, that kind of shit. That’s how much of an impression you’ve made around here so far, he thought you were a bitch. But because the Supreme Beavliever is such a nice guy, I’ll let Andre know that we’re going to make you famous. We’re going to throttle you so badly, that when people go back to look at the worst beatdowns in WSeaF pay-per-view history, your name will be right there…it will be the guy that #beachkrew made a fucking example out of because they were tired of facing these pretenders who thought they could cultivate a wrestling career on our watch.”


Beaver sat up on the couch, no longer looking relaxed, but ready for action.


DB: “On February 28th, 2016 at the American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas MY family, #beachkrew, is going to show everyone that we're still the premier team in the WSeaF. No "Family" or other collection of other fucking bastard misfits with bad attitudes and no love for each other is EVER going to be able to dethrone us, BEAVLIEVE THAT."


At the end of Beavs enunciating the 'T' in 'THAT', Andre came flying out of the bedroom with his clothes on.


AA: "Yo man, let's get the hell out of here. I'm sure there's even more of this city you've got to show me!"


Beaver laughed and stood up from the couch.


DB: "Well bro, let's get to it then!"


Wednesday February 24th, 12:42 am


Beaver and Aquarius stumbled through the front door of Beavs' house after enjoying a night out on the town. Beaver had taken Andre around to some of the more popular touristy places, like the CN Tower and Ripley's Aquarium of Canada, the latter making Aquarius feel right at home with all that #SeaLyfe. Then once it was night time, the pair hit up several of the more popular night clubs, where Andre collected several white girl phone numbers as Beaver made sure people were well aware to enjoy some Beaveater that evening. Beavs wanted to get home a little early to make sure that they got some sleep before the special event he had planned for himself and Andre the next day. Beaver showed Aquarius the lavish guest room that he would be staying in that evening. Andre nodded his head in approval as he saw his accommodations.


AA: "Damn Beavs, now this is more than aight. Way better than most of the ghetto ass shit I have to sleep in. You've got a great thing goin' on here, my nilla."


DB: "Ha thanks, my room is down this hall then you take a left and go to that other hall I showed you and it will be the second door on the right."


AA: "Word, I'm sure I'll be fine, man. I mean, look at this shit, son!"


Beaver snickered.


DB: "Yeah, it's not bad."


Andre turned to face Beaver again.


AA: "Yo Beavs, thanks for inviting me to Toronto again to get ready for this match comin' up. We're gonna beat those two fuccbois, I know it."


Beaver nodded, that look of resolve still in his eyes.


DB: "We sure are, you better Beavlieve it. Now get some rest, brotha."


Beavs turned to exit the room but Andre's voice stopped him just before he was away from view.


AA: "And yo Beavs, I've been thinking of a name for our team, so we're like official and shit."


DB: "Oh yeah, were you able to come up with anything?"


AA: "Get ready for this nilla...Team #BlackBeaver."


Beaver started to laugh uncontrollably. Aquarius sat there and patiently waited for Beavs to stop so he could here the official response to the name.


DB: "...oh man, I fucking love that name, bruh. Team #BlackBeaver it is. Night Andre."


AA: "Hell yeah, night Beavs!"


Beaver walked to his room and laid down to get some well deserved rest. He was already ready to show the world that his family could destroy any "family" that put forth a challenge. Beavs knew that he was going to win that match at Timebomb, all he had to do was...Beavlieve!