A Battle Royale. . .with Cheese!
Feb 24, 2016 3:40:55 GMT -5
Stuart Slane, Gemini Battle, and 1 more like this
Post by Shadowlove on Feb 24, 2016 3:40:55 GMT -5
The Big Texan Steak Ranch, a steakhouse restaurant and motel located in Amarillo, Texas. The building is painted a bright yellow, with blue trim. Texas flags flap like pennants; the front porch creaks under your feet. A large cow statue, "The Big Moo," advertising their "free" 72 oz. steak stands in the parking lot, along with a 15-foot-tall cowboy boot, a 27-foot-long goofy dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat, "Big Tex Rex". Parked next to "The Big Moo" and "Big Tex Rex" is the a dazzling 45 foot long luxury executive tour bus. Grand Prix White. Licence plate #15SAR6S9 stopped for dinner at a quaint, little restaurant. And by “quaint” I mean “the exact opposite of quaint” because this particular restaurant was The Big Texan where you get a 72 oz. steak for free if you can choke it down in less than an hour. It’s pretty much the perfect meal if you’re a cheap bastard who doesn’t mind clogged arteries and a slight, lingering numbness in your left arm while you drive yourself to the nearest Urgent Care facility.
Walking inside the crowded restaurant, leaving your name with the hostess, you have a few minutes to enjoy the LIVE RATTLESNAKE in the gift shop and the Decor by Taxidermy. I don’t know where Buzz Lightyear is, but I’m guessing he and Woody are probably inside the tent dying from internal organ failure after being attacked by a rabid armadillo or the bear, who seems to be wearing, a fur coat.
The dining hall's surrounded by an upper floor gallery, and at the head of the hall is a raised platform. On the platform is a single table, flanked by the flags of America and Texas and two large trash cans. An old-school digital countdown clock ticks off the seconds. On the wall behind the platform hangs an enormous cattle skull, red light glowing from its nose and eye sockets. Other dead animal heads look down from the walls, hoping for the last laugh.
From the upstairs balcony you are delighted to see a bird’s eye view of some poor sucker in the middle of the 72 oz. challenge. In case you’re wondering how much meat that is, it’s about the size of the combined I.Q. of the other participants in Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal, Bad News Benson, Teo Del Sol, Bonnie Blue, Adam Young, Raymond Hatcher, Jordan Wolfram, DeMarcus Jordan, Rage Maxx, Andre Jenson, Bernard Core, Zombie McMorris, Johnny Rabid and whom ever else enters the ring. Mmmmm, just imagine that image sitting in your gut? (You can use the two trash cans that the "contestants" use when puking immediately after being disqualified).
If you can't finish, the dinner will cost you, $72 bucks.
As the hour contest comes to an end, this gastronomic "Rookie" Sensation had eaten: 4 & 1/2 pounds of steak, (which is 72 oz’s) baked potato, shrimp cocktail, salad & a bread roll. Here’s the poor chump as we speak, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove. His classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair, showing off a fighters face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. Stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. He is sprawled out on the floor looking like "Cool Hand " Luke after eating 50 hard-boiled eggs.
"HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor surround sound system.
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet, Ms. Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, enters with flirty confidence as she steps in rhythm, right to left, into the psychotherapeutic room. Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses to go along with her body built for sin encased in a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (hot and sexy product placement, thank me later) Costume.
Congrats! Ms Miyamoto made the squad, leading the cheers for "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove. This Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Costume dresses her for the part, and features the signature blue satin halter top, tied at the bust and framed by a fringed white Cowboys Cheerleader vest. Matching white hot pants and an attached belt with blue star applique complete the outfit, along with stark white Dallas Cowboys Lucchese Womens Official Boots. Now the eyes of Texas are upon you!
Ms.Miyamoto, exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited Texas two-step "Struts" around "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, cheerleading him back to heath with pom-pom in hand. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
Ms. Miyamoto: Many theorists and strategists in the sports entertainment business view a battle royale as something that has been "pre-ordained" and should be avoided. In the sense, this Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal represents an attempt to grind down a much more superior athelete through superior numbers. This Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal represents quite the opposite of what the usual principles of wrestling are, in which, one attempts to achieve decisive victory by doing the least amount necessary in minimal amount of time, through maneuver after manuever, counter after counter, in a concentration of force, to win a match. No one ever wins a battle royale without risking his or her career. . .
Shadowlove rubbing his belly like Fat Bastard for good luck. (everyone in a Scottish brogue, "Rub ma belly"). His low dusky voice ringing out fully, with charm and charisma:
Shadowlove: On the other hand, you win a battle royale by making the other poor dumb sonivabitches risk, his or her, career. This eclectic group of individuals, deriving their diverse point of views on this battle royal as if in a "Twelve-step" program from an Alcoholics Anonymous Kumbaya Meeting, ("I'm Cooper, 'Hi Cooper', and I'm a Dysfunctional Family Member), are evenly matched. The outcome of this battle royale is likely to be a victory that inflicts such a devastating toll on the victor that it is tantamount to a defeat. This "hollow victory" will take a heavy toll on the winner, both physically and mentally, negating any sense of achievement. . .
Ms. Miyamoto does a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders high kick into a jump split and starts rubbing Shadowlove's belly like a baby Budda.
Ms. Miyamoto: Only about one percent has a chance in beating Shadowlove-san. Unfortunately, those one-percenters, those so-called, self-proclaimed, "Top Talented" atheletes have been afraid to even step into the ring with such a specimen ever since he joined this organization. But, it's quite understandable why every man, woman and child are so scared. Just watch every, he and she, entered in this battle royale, as they"preach" that they're not, well, they're a goddamn liar. Wrestlers relying on their reputation of past deeds of complacency overpower their honor, their integrity, and even, his or her, innate manhood. . .
The "Dynamic Duo" raises up simultaneously like a Phoenix out of a fire. Ms. Miyamoto, taking her proper place, cradles against Shadowlove's body and caresses his muscular chest with her fingers.
Shadowlove: Ever since I joined the WCF, every wrestler has bitched and moaned about what they have done in their "chicken-shit career" and crying when the "the stars weren't aligned" right for them to win matches that they think that they should've won. All that bitching and moaning will be twice as bad when they know that this "Handsome" Sonivabitch sneaked up behind Bad News Benson, Teo Del Sol, Bonnie Blue, Adam Young, Raymond Hatcher, Jordan Wolfram, DeMarcus Jordan, Rage Maxx, Andre Jenson, Bernard Core, Zombie McMorris, Johnny Rabid, and whoever else enters the ring and slap them upside the head with a sock full of their own bullshit. . .
Ms. Miyamoto lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose, showing off incandescent green eyes on her angelic face.
Ms. Miyamoto: By God, I actually pity these poor fools that you're going up against in this Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal. Those "Heroes" aren't the storybook ending that the World Championship Federation makes them out to be. Some of you are already wondering whether or not you'll chicken out when in the ring with Shadowlove-san. Oh. . . You. . . Will!. . . YOU WILL! What will Bad News Benson-san, Teo Del Sol-san, Bonnie Blue, Adam Young-san, Raymond Hatcher-san, Jordan Wolfram-san, DeMarcus Jordan-san, Rage Maxx-san, Andre Jenson-san, Bernard Core-san, Zombie McMorris-san, Johnny Rabid-san, and whoever else enters the ring have in common in Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal? They will all be the ones that are bending over kissing his or her own family jewels, holding on to them for dear life, twisting and tugging, hoping that there is still an heir to their empire. They will all rise up all at once on their piss-soaked hind legs and scream, It's that goddamned sonivabitch, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove-san. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
Shadowlove, bows his head, raising his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
Ms. Miyamoto's Apple Watch (product placement) 38mm Stainless Steel Case with Soft Pink Modern Buckle dings with an message from Arli$$ Michaels Management. The message is a scouting report of all the participants in the Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal:
Teo Del Sol: Hands down the greatest luchador of all time. If you want to dispute that, tweet me. I don't think anyone else is comparable. He's the most successful, he's the most talented, he is an absolutely special performer. I think it's a huge loss and a huge gain for all of us wrestlers that get to be around him and have him on WCF shows and learn from him and work with him. It's just a win. At his peak, he is almost superhuman, a blur darting between the ropes and leaping in the air. He served as a bridge between lucha libre and American-style pro wrestling, introducing new fans to the kind of electric offense that is commonplace in Mexico.
Johnny Rabid: Starred as "The Scarecrow" in the English remake of "The Wizard Of Oz" in the English Renaissance Theatre, commonly known as Elizabethan Theatre. Panned by critics for not having enough "heart", enough "courage", and enough "brains". After a failed attempts at acting, tried his hands at "Bending It Like Beckham" for Manchester United. Oh Snap! The Villagers of Chelsea, with torches in hand, attempted to have Johnny "Wrestling" executed, but instead exiled and bannished him and his clan to the States.
Zombie McMorris: The Comic-Con International Wrestler Of Mystery. This "Honey Badger" is a closet "Bronie", proving even adult male fans of My Little Pony are people, too. That’s the crux of his Brony Tale, a documentary that takes you inside the unusual and unexpected community of grown men who live and breathe everything related to Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and the rest of the pastel-colored animated equine friends.
Jordan Wolfram: The embodiment of misguided, traumatized childhood, urinating and defecating himself while adjusting to the nonphysical form of sports entertainment. What emerged is the child's portrayal of the world, looking towards heaven, succumbing to a whole variety of destructive, shameful, fearful, humiliating, guilty, overt acts of aggression and power. The more this uncrowded messiah of the WCF flaps his lips, the more atheism seems much more attractive.
Bonnie Blue: Something of a dystopian mystery lurking deep inside the sports entertainment business. A poignant story that explores a secret wish of every, days of future past, wrestler throughout the world. Traveling through time, recapturing some of the old glory that she once knew as a small child in different time and giving her a new reason to embrace life, loyalty, love, and morality. So much so, that she will leave even Kat lovers with a smile on their face.
Andrew Young: Haven't seen anyone from the south pathetically whine so much since Lee surrendered to Grant back in the day. This "Redneck" would be taken more serious if he wasn't painted in white face? Oh wait, different "brotha" from a different mutha, if you know what I mean? lol
"The Real Deal" Raymond Hatcher: Quite the high-octane urban fantasy, the ultimate stereotype of a yuppie trust fund petulant child. Despite his affluence and high social status, he's wracked by feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and self-hatred inside the ring. The WCF mocks him as the "boy next door"; a "brown-nosing goody-goody ass-kisser"; he is often dismissed as "yuppie trash" by people outside his social circle. He compensates for these insecurities through obsessive vanity and personal grooming, with unwavering attention to detail by buying the most fashionable, expensive clothing and accessories possible.
Andre Jenson: Just the mere mention of the oogly boogly boppity boob conjurs images of overweight, acne-ridden males, living in their parent’s basements, surviving on a diet of Funyuns and Redbulls. A smelly, unsociable cave dweller, sporting his sweat laden T-shirts with the latest internet meme that would only ever make sense to another ‘gamer’ that they have no chance of running into, as they never leave their darkened rooms.
Bernard Core: An immoral, opportunistic, "tenured" Headmaster, rising up from the ashes on "No Kid Left Behind", whose sub-par Common Core philosophy ranked the New York Education Department #101 out of 100. Go figure.
DeMarcus Jordan: A charity case in his own right, trying to enhance his individual career by discriminating against more dominant, and talented wrestlers than himself. Hoping for a more increased career opportunity in an unrepresented part of the WCF, which historically he represents.
Bad News Benson: a questionable "baddie", so bad in fact, that his mouthwash ain't making it the WCF.
Rage Maxxie: Better off jumping over the top rope and eliminating himself.
Shadowlove: A politically incorrect philisiating self-righteous sonivabitch and "Rookie" Sensation. Has an unwillingness to accept things as they are with a propensity for speaking out. Can often trigger real and important change. The Wild Card has a moment of clarity when he realizes the importance of the company vision and feels invested in its success. An ability to inspire with a clear and dramatic vision that puts momentum behind ideas. Reliable and determined, this Workhorse is the finisher and will ensure that the job gets done. When rifts appear in an organization or progress has stalled, the Glue smoothes things over or suggests who might be able to get the wheels turning again. When an intellectual or informational snag is slowing the process, the Expert has the solution.
"BURNING RING OF FIRE" by Johnny Cash starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto raises up her RayBan sunglasses on her perfectly flawless nose and angelic face with her middle finger and continues to caressing Shadowlove's muscular chest with her fingers. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on Shadowlove's lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a "Yippie-Ki-Yay MotherFuckers!" shit-eating grin on his fighter's face.
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!
Walking inside the crowded restaurant, leaving your name with the hostess, you have a few minutes to enjoy the LIVE RATTLESNAKE in the gift shop and the Decor by Taxidermy. I don’t know where Buzz Lightyear is, but I’m guessing he and Woody are probably inside the tent dying from internal organ failure after being attacked by a rabid armadillo or the bear, who seems to be wearing, a fur coat.
The dining hall's surrounded by an upper floor gallery, and at the head of the hall is a raised platform. On the platform is a single table, flanked by the flags of America and Texas and two large trash cans. An old-school digital countdown clock ticks off the seconds. On the wall behind the platform hangs an enormous cattle skull, red light glowing from its nose and eye sockets. Other dead animal heads look down from the walls, hoping for the last laugh.
From the upstairs balcony you are delighted to see a bird’s eye view of some poor sucker in the middle of the 72 oz. challenge. In case you’re wondering how much meat that is, it’s about the size of the combined I.Q. of the other participants in Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal, Bad News Benson, Teo Del Sol, Bonnie Blue, Adam Young, Raymond Hatcher, Jordan Wolfram, DeMarcus Jordan, Rage Maxx, Andre Jenson, Bernard Core, Zombie McMorris, Johnny Rabid and whom ever else enters the ring. Mmmmm, just imagine that image sitting in your gut? (You can use the two trash cans that the "contestants" use when puking immediately after being disqualified).
If you can't finish, the dinner will cost you, $72 bucks.
As the hour contest comes to an end, this gastronomic "Rookie" Sensation had eaten: 4 & 1/2 pounds of steak, (which is 72 oz’s) baked potato, shrimp cocktail, salad & a bread roll. Here’s the poor chump as we speak, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove. His classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair, showing off a fighters face, with an ice cold stare which radiants from his blue eyes. Stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a black leather trench-coat along with Crocodile skinned pants with Alligator skinned boots. He is sprawled out on the floor looking like "Cool Hand " Luke after eating 50 hard-boiled eggs.
"HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor surround sound system.
The Infamous Superstar's personal bodyguard/valet, Ms. Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, enters with flirty confidence as she steps in rhythm, right to left, into the psychotherapeutic room. Her raven black hair pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses to go along with her body built for sin encased in a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (hot and sexy product placement, thank me later) Costume.
Congrats! Ms Miyamoto made the squad, leading the cheers for "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove. This Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Costume dresses her for the part, and features the signature blue satin halter top, tied at the bust and framed by a fringed white Cowboys Cheerleader vest. Matching white hot pants and an attached belt with blue star applique complete the outfit, along with stark white Dallas Cowboys Lucchese Womens Official Boots. Now the eyes of Texas are upon you!
Ms.Miyamoto, exuding fantastic supermodel energy, as she walks with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited Texas two-step "Struts" around "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, cheerleading him back to heath with pom-pom in hand. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
Ms. Miyamoto: Many theorists and strategists in the sports entertainment business view a battle royale as something that has been "pre-ordained" and should be avoided. In the sense, this Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal represents an attempt to grind down a much more superior athelete through superior numbers. This Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal represents quite the opposite of what the usual principles of wrestling are, in which, one attempts to achieve decisive victory by doing the least amount necessary in minimal amount of time, through maneuver after manuever, counter after counter, in a concentration of force, to win a match. No one ever wins a battle royale without risking his or her career. . .
Shadowlove rubbing his belly like Fat Bastard for good luck. (everyone in a Scottish brogue, "Rub ma belly"). His low dusky voice ringing out fully, with charm and charisma:
Shadowlove: On the other hand, you win a battle royale by making the other poor dumb sonivabitches risk, his or her, career. This eclectic group of individuals, deriving their diverse point of views on this battle royal as if in a "Twelve-step" program from an Alcoholics Anonymous Kumbaya Meeting, ("I'm Cooper, 'Hi Cooper', and I'm a Dysfunctional Family Member), are evenly matched. The outcome of this battle royale is likely to be a victory that inflicts such a devastating toll on the victor that it is tantamount to a defeat. This "hollow victory" will take a heavy toll on the winner, both physically and mentally, negating any sense of achievement. . .
Ms. Miyamoto does a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders high kick into a jump split and starts rubbing Shadowlove's belly like a baby Budda.
Ms. Miyamoto: Only about one percent has a chance in beating Shadowlove-san. Unfortunately, those one-percenters, those so-called, self-proclaimed, "Top Talented" atheletes have been afraid to even step into the ring with such a specimen ever since he joined this organization. But, it's quite understandable why every man, woman and child are so scared. Just watch every, he and she, entered in this battle royale, as they"preach" that they're not, well, they're a goddamn liar. Wrestlers relying on their reputation of past deeds of complacency overpower their honor, their integrity, and even, his or her, innate manhood. . .
The "Dynamic Duo" raises up simultaneously like a Phoenix out of a fire. Ms. Miyamoto, taking her proper place, cradles against Shadowlove's body and caresses his muscular chest with her fingers.
Shadowlove: Ever since I joined the WCF, every wrestler has bitched and moaned about what they have done in their "chicken-shit career" and crying when the "the stars weren't aligned" right for them to win matches that they think that they should've won. All that bitching and moaning will be twice as bad when they know that this "Handsome" Sonivabitch sneaked up behind Bad News Benson, Teo Del Sol, Bonnie Blue, Adam Young, Raymond Hatcher, Jordan Wolfram, DeMarcus Jordan, Rage Maxx, Andre Jenson, Bernard Core, Zombie McMorris, Johnny Rabid, and whoever else enters the ring and slap them upside the head with a sock full of their own bullshit. . .
Ms. Miyamoto lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose, showing off incandescent green eyes on her angelic face.
Ms. Miyamoto: By God, I actually pity these poor fools that you're going up against in this Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal. Those "Heroes" aren't the storybook ending that the World Championship Federation makes them out to be. Some of you are already wondering whether or not you'll chicken out when in the ring with Shadowlove-san. Oh. . . You. . . Will!. . . YOU WILL! What will Bad News Benson-san, Teo Del Sol-san, Bonnie Blue, Adam Young-san, Raymond Hatcher-san, Jordan Wolfram-san, DeMarcus Jordan-san, Rage Maxx-san, Andre Jenson-san, Bernard Core-san, Zombie McMorris-san, Johnny Rabid-san, and whoever else enters the ring have in common in Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal? They will all be the ones that are bending over kissing his or her own family jewels, holding on to them for dear life, twisting and tugging, hoping that there is still an heir to their empire. They will all rise up all at once on their piss-soaked hind legs and scream, It's that goddamned sonivabitch, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove-san. . .
"PERSONAL JESUS" by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
Shadowlove, bows his head, raising his arms straight out to his sides, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
Ms. Miyamoto's Apple Watch (product placement) 38mm Stainless Steel Case with Soft Pink Modern Buckle dings with an message from Arli$$ Michaels Management. The message is a scouting report of all the participants in the Trilogy Cup Tournament Wildcard Battle Royal:
Teo Del Sol: Hands down the greatest luchador of all time. If you want to dispute that, tweet me. I don't think anyone else is comparable. He's the most successful, he's the most talented, he is an absolutely special performer. I think it's a huge loss and a huge gain for all of us wrestlers that get to be around him and have him on WCF shows and learn from him and work with him. It's just a win. At his peak, he is almost superhuman, a blur darting between the ropes and leaping in the air. He served as a bridge between lucha libre and American-style pro wrestling, introducing new fans to the kind of electric offense that is commonplace in Mexico.
Johnny Rabid: Starred as "The Scarecrow" in the English remake of "The Wizard Of Oz" in the English Renaissance Theatre, commonly known as Elizabethan Theatre. Panned by critics for not having enough "heart", enough "courage", and enough "brains". After a failed attempts at acting, tried his hands at "Bending It Like Beckham" for Manchester United. Oh Snap! The Villagers of Chelsea, with torches in hand, attempted to have Johnny "Wrestling" executed, but instead exiled and bannished him and his clan to the States.
Zombie McMorris: The Comic-Con International Wrestler Of Mystery. This "Honey Badger" is a closet "Bronie", proving even adult male fans of My Little Pony are people, too. That’s the crux of his Brony Tale, a documentary that takes you inside the unusual and unexpected community of grown men who live and breathe everything related to Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and the rest of the pastel-colored animated equine friends.
Jordan Wolfram: The embodiment of misguided, traumatized childhood, urinating and defecating himself while adjusting to the nonphysical form of sports entertainment. What emerged is the child's portrayal of the world, looking towards heaven, succumbing to a whole variety of destructive, shameful, fearful, humiliating, guilty, overt acts of aggression and power. The more this uncrowded messiah of the WCF flaps his lips, the more atheism seems much more attractive.
Bonnie Blue: Something of a dystopian mystery lurking deep inside the sports entertainment business. A poignant story that explores a secret wish of every, days of future past, wrestler throughout the world. Traveling through time, recapturing some of the old glory that she once knew as a small child in different time and giving her a new reason to embrace life, loyalty, love, and morality. So much so, that she will leave even Kat lovers with a smile on their face.
Andrew Young: Haven't seen anyone from the south pathetically whine so much since Lee surrendered to Grant back in the day. This "Redneck" would be taken more serious if he wasn't painted in white face? Oh wait, different "brotha" from a different mutha, if you know what I mean? lol
"The Real Deal" Raymond Hatcher: Quite the high-octane urban fantasy, the ultimate stereotype of a yuppie trust fund petulant child. Despite his affluence and high social status, he's wracked by feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and self-hatred inside the ring. The WCF mocks him as the "boy next door"; a "brown-nosing goody-goody ass-kisser"; he is often dismissed as "yuppie trash" by people outside his social circle. He compensates for these insecurities through obsessive vanity and personal grooming, with unwavering attention to detail by buying the most fashionable, expensive clothing and accessories possible.
Andre Jenson: Just the mere mention of the oogly boogly boppity boob conjurs images of overweight, acne-ridden males, living in their parent’s basements, surviving on a diet of Funyuns and Redbulls. A smelly, unsociable cave dweller, sporting his sweat laden T-shirts with the latest internet meme that would only ever make sense to another ‘gamer’ that they have no chance of running into, as they never leave their darkened rooms.
Bernard Core: An immoral, opportunistic, "tenured" Headmaster, rising up from the ashes on "No Kid Left Behind", whose sub-par Common Core philosophy ranked the New York Education Department #101 out of 100. Go figure.
DeMarcus Jordan: A charity case in his own right, trying to enhance his individual career by discriminating against more dominant, and talented wrestlers than himself. Hoping for a more increased career opportunity in an unrepresented part of the WCF, which historically he represents.
Bad News Benson: a questionable "baddie", so bad in fact, that his mouthwash ain't making it the WCF.
Rage Maxxie: Better off jumping over the top rope and eliminating himself.
Shadowlove: A politically incorrect philisiating self-righteous sonivabitch and "Rookie" Sensation. Has an unwillingness to accept things as they are with a propensity for speaking out. Can often trigger real and important change. The Wild Card has a moment of clarity when he realizes the importance of the company vision and feels invested in its success. An ability to inspire with a clear and dramatic vision that puts momentum behind ideas. Reliable and determined, this Workhorse is the finisher and will ensure that the job gets done. When rifts appear in an organization or progress has stalled, the Glue smoothes things over or suggests who might be able to get the wheels turning again. When an intellectual or informational snag is slowing the process, the Expert has the solution.
"BURNING RING OF FIRE" by Johnny Cash starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) outdoor surround sound system.
Ms. Miyamoto raises up her RayBan sunglasses on her perfectly flawless nose and angelic face with her middle finger and continues to caressing Shadowlove's muscular chest with her fingers. A malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on Shadowlove's lips showing off perfectly white even teeth in a "Yippie-Ki-Yay MotherFuckers!" shit-eating grin on his fighter's face.
THIS IS THE END, MY ONLY FRIEND. . . THE END!
