Mrs. Gable (John Gable RP)
Feb 21, 2016 17:54:09 GMT -5
Joey Flash, Stuart Slane, and 5 more like this
Post by Lisa Seymour on Feb 21, 2016 17:54:09 GMT -5
“It will be me and Lisa against the world!” - John Gable
Sometimes it isn't what he says but what it all means. John Gable has always managed to strike deep somewhere. Something in the soul. I think back on the things he said this last week. He stood outside his home. He didn't want to go anywhere special. He just had me set up a tripod outside. He didn't want fancy, he didn't want flair. He was hungry...he wanted to eat...
John Gable: Joey Flash...You know, there are a lot of names that pop into my head from the last few years but that one specifically sticks out. For the longest time, I blamed you, Joey. I did. Or at least I wanted to. I wanted to blame you for the flop of Eye in the Sky. I wanted to blame you for my life crumbling to pieces. Even for this short time I've been gone, I wanted to blame you for that as well, but I couldn't. Because honestly, I knew deep down that Eye in the Sky had no chance. All the things I have learned about the theatre going audience and the mass of pop-culture in general, they would have no interest in a movie like this. And I think that is the exact reason a part of me was attracted to a project like that. Forever I told myself it was because it was a major project that would succeed and make me a super star. But really, now that I think about it, I think the reason was that I would stick out amongst all the lack-luster and underwhelming aspects; that my abilities would shine and I could steal the spotlight.
That is what I have always done. It has always been my strategy. Teaming with Rebellion, S-PAC, and Angels of Destruction...I don't think I had any other motivation other than to use their small-time presence and be the apparent diamond that shines that much brighter surrounded by nothing but shit. I was never a team player and I have always put myself in that spot of failure for being as such. So, no I can't blame you, Joey Flash, when my track-record is put in such a light. Your victory over me, on that opening weekend in the box office, was just the exclamation point to the situation I got myself into! And it was humiliating and you only served to raise that humiliation!
Realizing that, I wanted to move on! I wanted to forget about the whole incident and let it go. But something wouldn't let me! It wasn't your fault, Joey! It wasn't your fault! This whole time I tried telling myself that. There would be no justice in taking all this out on you! You were simply the better man!...But that is when it hit me. It wasn't about justice. You see, when we faced each other, I said a lot of words of praise. I am sure you remember them! I said them because of multiple reasons!
...I remember a moment when you held the Television champion, I was too busy filming to watch WCF, but I remember someone calling me up and telling me “Gable! There is this guy named Flash and he is undefeated and getting close to taking your record!” The first thing I thought was “Fuck it, let him! I am on to better things now.” The whole point was to jump start my career again, so I didn't need that record anymore! Let some no name wrestling bastard have it!...
But then it started to bother me. Just as an itch at first but then that itch started to grow until it was the only thing on my mind! You see for a long time, the T.V title reign was the ONLY thing I had. That record was my claim to fame! How sad is that?! So, even though I wanted so bad not to care, I couldn't help but feel that some one was encroaching into my territory! That the ground work I put down was being violated! So, I HAD to tune in one slam to see this guy. It was March first of last year. I will forever remember that date. It was one long anxiety attack until we finally reached the match I was waiting for. Middle of the show, fifth match of the night. Wasn't that long of a wait but it felt like forever. And then when it started, I held my breath for the whole match, flinching at every false finish until the final moment came. Grime locked in a submission and I was out of my seat when all of a sudden...JOEY FLASH PASSED THE FUCK OUT! His undefeated streak broken and his title reign that threatened mine was brought to an end. I cheered out so loudly that the hotel gave me a call to make sure I was alright. I was in ecstasy for the next week, feeling like the greatest man to walk the Earth. Life couldn't have been any more perfect than in that one moment...Fast forward a bit...
I'm back in the WCF, trying my best to promote my movie. It was the Monday before opening weekend and I find out that I am facing Joey Flash! I thought “Here is my chance to put the nail in his coffin.” In my mind, it was all but competitively confirmed that I was better than you for the mere fact that you couldn't take my record. I was still the best Television champion which in turn meant I was better than you! So, in a selfish way that praise was my means of standing that much higher when I would beat you. But, there was always a part of me that had this strange feeling...This slight feeling that everything was going to go wrong. You see, deep down, much like how I knew the movie was going to flop, I knew I wasn't going to walk out the winner. I was fooling myself, trying to act like I was the big dog. But Joey Flash was the real competitor. He was the one the rampage! I was just playing make believe exactly how I spent my life learning to. I knew that. So, I tried to lessen the blow as much as possible sub-consciously by painting you as this success, so that losing to you wouldn't seem so unreasonable.
I got myself stuck in a web of self-delusion. Because nothing was going to lessen that fucking blow! It hurt! My god, did it hurt! Because not only did you beat me, Joey, but you took away my self-delusion! No longer could I pretend I was some how better than you with some stupid insignificant numbers. I had to face the reality that everyone knew despite the statistics! That Joey Flash was better than me no matter what I did! I felt like a fool when I was left in that ring and not even shock filled the arena! The people weren't silent with upset or cheering because they were surprised! They were shuffling around with a secure sense of confirmation!
Square one all over again! I had no acting career to go back to, no longer a threat to anyone! Next week I faced Bates and creamed him, thinking that was going to make me feel better but I still felt empty! Unsatisfied! Because it didn't change anything that happened the week before! From the best moment in my life straight down to the worst! But god damn it, I still couldn't blame you! I caused my own humiliation. But isn't going to stop me from coming after you! I have a change that mistake I made by smashing the invincible Joey Flash, to put myself back on top! To finally get your name out of my head! And the Trios titles are the cherries on the Sundae. I'll steal them away from you like you stole my delusion away from me and then you will know how I felt! Because god damn it! Someone else should know how it feels!
You'll do your same ol' routine, acting like shit doesn't phase you. Acting so indestructible. That is how you win even when you lose! Mr. Flash just lets it all slide right off! But I will know the truth! Because I know a fucking actor when I see one! You put on your twisted and sarcastic smile, mocking who ever is the flavor of the week and when ever they start striking back, you are all “Whatever, faggot!” And laugh your ass off as you watch them turn red! You make everyone else a joke. You tear into them like they're nothing but paper and everyone cheers. But the truth is that you do it because you can't bother to be invested! Honestly, Joey, if you aren't an actor, then you are just spineless!
It's true! Look at the lengths you are willing to go! Look at who you've been teaming with! Didn't you break Howard Black's arm?! Didn't Dune kill your fucking child!? But yet here we are! Facing the New Sentinels like nothing ever happened! Is this another aspect of Joey not letting shit get to him?...I'll tell you exactly what it is. I am not the only gold chaser around here! You, just like everyone else, are obsessed with success! Sure, first teaming with The Sentinels was about vengeance in a way, but soon it became about those god damn titles! And when Howard Black was gone, The Sentinels' status as Trios Champs were in jeopardy! All of a sudden, Dune, defeated and humiliated – much like I was – makes a brilliantly timed move and comes crawling to you guys all like “I'm sowwy guys! I was a being a big ol' meanie! Can I join you guys and hold them fancy titles with you?” And being the opportunists you were, you and Occulo decided to let him in! Who gives a fuck about your dead kid when you can continue to have a good spot in the company! You all had gold on your minds. You are no better than me and I am going to fucking prove that shit when we come out to that ring and rip those titles off your mother fucking corpses! And then you won't be able to fool anyone into thinking this is just another week! The man you so securely beat not long ago and made an example out of coming back and making you his bitch with the help of the rest of #BeachKrew is too big to ignore!
There was a small pause as Gable chuckled and rubbed the stubble on his chin, looking off to the side...contemplating. Seeing him so alive again was almost slightly frightening. Even as I sit by myself, in this house, I can't stop feeling so disturbed by this change of the person I have gotten to know over these last few months, in the quiet of his own home...
I've been here for a while now; in this house where he remains hidden. I'm becoming familiar with the night and day of every room. No longer feeling separate from the décor. It is like home now. To a point I have to ask if it's not my home now...They told me to keep an eye on him, to make sure he wouldn't do anything drastic. But from what I have observed, it seems that now John would be the last one to do anything of the like. He seemed so different than before. He was quiet and still. He wasn't rushing about himself; trying to keep up with the crumbling foundation. He was just a walking statue. His steps were patient and strong but they didn't make the floor creak. His breaths were deep and even but it didn't interrupt the flow of the air. His voice was confident and piercing but he didn't say much at all anymore. John Gable was not here. It was just a motion being watched as the days went by...He was waiting like they told him to.
But I know what you are wondering. Why did John Gable stop wrestling? What happened to that lawsuit Paramount Studios and him were going to hit WCF with? Well, I can't really answer the last one. I mean I can but there is a lot of variables I can't account for. Maybe I should start at the beginning. It was on the eve of WAR...What an appropriate statement that means so little in retrospect...
Anyway, it was on the eve of WAR. Gable had just beaten Thomas Bates and we had announced that Paramount was filing for a lawsuit for the loss of revenue due to WCF's failure to properly promote the movie like they were contractually obliged to do. Everything was going well, considering...But Gable had an idea that would throw all of that out the window. It wasn't enough to just beat WCF, he wanted to humiliate them like he felt they humiliated him; to challenge them at their own game and show everyone he was the best while still getting Paramount what it wanted. He decided to lay all of it on the line; to take the lawsuit and put it all into a wager. A single match at One...They could choose any opponent to face him. If he wins, they would have to listen to all of Paramount's demands, but if he lost, he would retire from acting and wrestling all together.
He was so elated about the plan that he would spend hours pacing around, thinking about it. Though not so much thinking about it, but more day dreaming about it. He would murmur and mumble to himself, proclaiming it was perfect and that he NEEDED it to happen! The problem was getting the studio to agree to it. This stumped Gable every time he thought about it. Bringing his daydreams to a screeching halt. But eventually he figured out a way...But we will get back to that in a moment.
What's it like in a day of the life of John Gable? I've gotten to become familiar with it. So very familiar with it. The day starts out one of two ways. Either he sleeps in until ten or eleven and even when he does wake up, he will just continue laying there until something causes him to need to get out of bed. Until then, he'll just lay staring at the ceiling. By looking at his face, it is hard to tell if he is deep in thought or not thinking of anything at all; just simply staring his life away. Who knows when he might move. Then there are days that will start like this particular day; up before eight with a pot of coffee already going, newspaper on the table, and him sitting at the dining room table; staring out the window.
I accidentally interrupted his quiet reflection when I first came across it. I had just woken up and stumbled my way into the dining room, attracted by the scent of something brewing; not realizing what exactly I was walking into, and said 'hi'. He didn't seem angry that I had done so. He just, in one awkward movement, suddenly leaned back in his chair and scratched the top of his head for a second as he said hi back. I could tell that he was slapped back into reality abruptly and took a moment, in morning grogginess, to get his mind back in proper order. I felt a little guilty about it and apologized if I had bothered him in the middle of something. While still looking around for something that wasn't me to hold his attention, he quietly responded no, that he was just thinking to himself, nothing important.
It has been a hard few months. It feels like we have been trapped away like secrets; told to wait for the moment where we will be called out. Even though he doesn't show it, I can tell it wasn't easy for Gable. It was a rather embarrassing situation and after what he did, it was almost like sabotage from some mysterious hands pulling at strings. He definitely wasn't the same after it happened. His posture was the first thing to change, almost instantaneously. His shoulders slumped, his back slouched, and his eyes were almost always to the ground as he would drag his feet from one room to the next. And as I said, he became very quiet. I am not sure if it was out of begrudging his predicament or simple because he had nothing to say. I had never seen John without something in the works, without some goal to be achieved, without some kind of point to be made. Even when he was gloomy before, he always had something to say about it. But now...now it just seemed like he was emptied of all his words.
I remember the day. It was Friday and I was about to fly out to Oklahoma City for WAR, ready to cheer Gable on to victory, when I received a call. Seeing it was Gable, I assumed he was calling early to plan out where to meet up after we both got there, only to be surprised by a dejected voice coming from the other side. It was just a short notice, “I'm not going to be able to make it.” then he hung up. I tried calling him back instantly but he refused to pick up. At the time, I had no idea what to make of it. Nothing could come to mind of why he would not “be able to make it.” Weather? Ohio skies were clear. Some no-fly issue? Of all the people in the WCF lockerroom, Gable wouldn't be the one they keep grounded and even if that was the case, he could make a drive out there and still make it in plenty of time. Every option I could think of wouldn't stop Gable from going to WAR. He was practically foaming at the mouth, going mad with anticipation.
It was a little difficult but I managed to switch out my ticket for Cleveland, Ohio and got on the earliest possible flight that I could then took the first taxi I saw out to Gable's house. It was late when I arrived, close to midnight. I walked up to the front door and knocked as loudly as I could. No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I told him to let me in, admittedly screamed it. But once again no answer. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach. I reached for the door knob and found out the door was unlocked. I hesitantly pushed it open and walked in. In the distance, I heard the sound of the T.V. I slowly walked into the living room where I saw Gable slouched down into the couch which was an odd sight to see. The Apartment was playing, one of Gable's favorites. It was the seen where Jack Lemon's character found out that his boss (played by Fred MacMurray) was using his apartment to hook up with the elevator operator he liked (played by Shirley MacLaine) and having lost all ambition, decides to go slumming around the bars. Gable didn't budge when I entered, not sure if he was trying to ignore me or he was just so sucked into his own mind that nothing around him registered.
At first my voice failed me but then suddenly I was overcome with a rage as he refused to to acknowledge me. I was offended and hurt that he didn't seem to think about how any of this drama was affecting me. I shouted...
Lisa Seymour: What the hell is going on?!? You can't just call me up, say a few words and refuse to answer me when I try to call you back! I was worried! I thought you might have been hurt or something! I couldn't possibly conceive any other reason you would keep from going! But then I see you are just sitting around on the couch watching movies! What the fuck are you doing!?
He paused the movie and turned his head towards me. It was then that I saw that his eyes were bloodshot and that his face was a blotchy red, his mouth twitched for a brief pause before he leaned forward and held his head with his hand and his fingers in his hair. I approached quietly and took a seat next to him on the couch.
Lisa Seymour: Gable...tell me...what happened?
His voice was shaky and his teeth gritted. For a moment he struggled trying to get the first few words out.
John Gable: They...they told me not to go...That I'm to stay home and lay low. That I am not to speak with anyone from WCF or Paramount. That I am on lock down until further notice.
Lisa Seymour: Who...
But it didn't take me long to figure it out. There were only two people that I could see Gable getting the message from and following it. They were the two that had been there since the beginning. The two people Gable followed blindly with their promises of his future career in their hands. They were the ones who thought of the whole lawsuit business. Steve Curtz and Philip Berger.
I have no idea what relation the two have with each other, in fact I don't even know who Steve Curtz is but Gable seems to regard him highly (whether out of respect or fear, sometimes I can't tell). All I know is he was there when Gable went to see the executives about turning the lawsuit into a wager. Both him and Philip Berger were waiting for us when he arrived. Both of them had grins that seemed a mile wide and I am not sure if Gable noticed it but as we were approaching I noticed the two exchanged a glance that didn't seem to mean much at the time but sent a spike through my heart. Was this what they traded knowingly in their thoughts?
We walked down the hall, on our way to the meeting room where the big wigs were all waiting. Philip was joyously talking Gable's ear off about how he was going to knock them dead, as I trailed a little ways behind. Mr. Curtz, who I had known very little about at the time, dropped back towards me which caused my anxiety – which was already building – to spike.
Steve Curtz: He's important to you, isn't he?
He stated in a whisper. I remained silent, filled with the strange sense that there was some kind of trap in his question. He smiled in a soft manner but in that kind of way I always associated with preachers and priest practicing in the mirror until they seemed like they were proficiently filled with the “warmth of God”. Gable wasn't the only skeptic alive.
Steve Curtz: He is a very important individual whether people realize it or not. There are very important plans for him in the future.
Almost like a script, how a line can sound like two different things given the right context. Then, it was empty, now...it was haunting.
Lisa Seymour: He is important, but sometimes that means more when it concerns less people.
He chuckled warmly. I was still unable to remove the idea of a man of god out of my head, as if he was just doing “the lords work” when he did anything involving John.
Steve Curtz: I understand...Oh, the room is just right up ahead. If you want to see some real Oscar caliber acting, just watch Gable when he enters this meeting...
And indeed I did. John was always seamless when stepping into character but if you watch him the whole time, you can see when he switches. Especially with executives, he became almost like a mocking bird, with a sing-song way of speaking as if performing for his supper. Gable went in with one intention: to convince the studio to let him do things his way. And boy, was he prepared. It was a more convincing performance than I had ever seen in a movie or play. Especially considering that Gable had nothing nice to say about any executives ever. He always called them lazy bastards who only had to sign their name on the dotted line without ever caring whose career they were burying. Sociopaths, he would call them. But here he was their best friends. Laughing at their jokes, making them laugh in turn.
He didn't bother to take a seat. He walked around that meeting room as if he was on a stage and the blocking was thoroughly planned out. He was smiling, sometimes with teeth when he needed to seem excited, sometimes just a smirk if he needed to seem kind. He would pass one or two people and the third person he would pat on the shoulder to emphasize a point. He would make eye contact with all of them. It is always the small things the actor does that makes them great. Delivering a line was secondary compared to what he can tell you in his movements.
But don't misunderstand me. His words were probably the only things more thought out that his actions. Using specific words to create unity and diminish inner quarrels. He always said “we”, unless it came to the actual “hard work” then he would use “me” as if he would take all the burden to himself. He would repeat such phrases as “the real enemy here is the WCF!” creating a target perfect for striking, but emphasizing “we have to go about it the right way. Money isn't enough. We need to humiliate them equally if not more than they humiliated us! We need to beat them at THEIR game!”...There is another word that came up a lot. Game. As if this was all some sort of game to all of them, especially Gable. As if all the people there were just pieces...Was I just a pawn? Was he just using me for his end game...No. I can't think like that.
Some people were easier to win over than others but being the pro that Gable was, he spotted the people were holding out and worked them over until they had no choice but agree. The hardest target to win over was Mr. Edward Holmes. This was the first time I had ever seen him, but I could tell before I even knew who he was I could tell he was the focus of all the power in the room. There was no leaving until Gable could get him to say yes.
This was easier said than done. At first, he was quiet as Gable went around and pitched his idea. But the farther Gable got into his performance, the more Mr. Holmes decided to speak up. It seemed that almost every point Gable made, Mr. Holmes had a question or comment about, trying to poke holes. Gable was confident and steady for the most part but it seemed at points that John was starting to get irritated and frustrated, gritting his teeth as he tried to answer for everything. But then came the last question...
Edward Holmes: And what if you were to, say, disappear on us? For some reason flake in the heat of the moment? What then.
John pounded on the table in pure confidence and replied.
John Gable: Mr. Holmes, if I leave there will be no future for me! You have my word! That I am into this to the very end! There would be no way in hell that I would run away from this! I need this even more than you do!
Edward Holmes smiled, stood up and reached out his hand. Gable shook it firmly as the surrounding people clapped and patted themselves on the back. Well, done Gable. Bravo...Bravo, Gable...
What did all that mean in the end? Now that I was sitting next to this destroyed man. He didn't say anything for the rest of the night. We finished the movie and then he went to bed without a word as I stayed on the couch with the idea at least staying until late tomorrow. That was until I got a call. I checked my phone but it was an unlisted name and number. I answered and instantly recognized the voice on the other end.
Steve Curtz: Stay with him. Make sure he doesn't do anything drastic. You are his protector now. You are the only one that can be there for him...
And so I stayed. I tried to reason it out that I wanted to make sure he would be alright. That he should have someone with him during this hard time. He didn't protest at all. In fact, it was hard to get any kind of reaction out of him for a long time. It wasn't until a week or two in that we had a real conversation. It was awkward at first, not knowing what to say. It seemed like we were both trying to keep off certain subjects. But after a bit of talking, we started slipping back into familiarity and honestly it seemed like now more than ever he was more open and honest than I had ever known him to be. We ended up learning about each other, both trading stories of when we were younger and what exactly interested us as we grew up. Eventually an interesting subject came up. I don't remember how we got to it but I remember Gable asked the question first. We were sitting out at the dinning room table just having a nice late chat when he asked...
John Gable: So...Was there anybody...ya' know, before you went off and decided to be reborn into the world of acting? Did little Ms. Seymour have someone in her life?
I grimaced slightly. Had it been someone else, could have probably have found myself blushing and chuckling a little but something just weighed down inside me. As if I wanted to get to the subject first but in a much different way...
Lisa Seymour: Not before I left. In fact, it was a relationship I just got out of that made me take the jump. I won't go into great detail but he was kind of a nut job, super jealous type. I would say something and he would accuse me of this or that or always think I was leaving him. To a point, he was even jealous I was such a big fan of yours at the time.
John Gable: Haha! You didn't have a poster of me or anything in your room that might have contributed to this, did you?
He was teasing me but I didn't really think much on the comment. I just looked down to my hands and twiddled my thumbs. It was a bad memory but I wanted him to know about it.
Lisa Seymour: No...The whole thing was just so fucked...He actually was committed at one point though when he attacked an ex of mine when I received a text from him asking about one of our old-class mates he saw a while back. Almost stuck a knife right in him. I had to leave right after. I couldn't help but feel it was all my fault!
Gable fell silent. I heard as he stood up and walked around the table and sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and leaned in to look into my eyes but I looked away but he lightly touched my chin and guided my eyes back to his face.
John Gable: People are cruel. I am just as cruel as the rest of them, if not worse at points. But you, you are innocent of all of them. You are just trapped into the complex that makes all of us so terrible. Don't blame yourself for what the rest of us created.
I don't know what came over me but suddenly those years I spent blaming myself felt like spilling out of my body. Suddenly I found my face tucked into his shoulder as his arms were securely wrapped around me. I wanted to feel embarrassed, like this wasn't supposed to happen at all but I just felt comfortable, secure, I finally felt okay. We moved out into the living room after I managed to get a grip on myself. But something in me failed to really escape John's arms after he put in a movie and we sat on the couch. He placed his arm around me and I felt the urge to rest my head on his shoulder. We didn't finish the movie.
Not all days were as much of a break through. In fact, most days he was still quiet and sullen. Though he did get out of the house once in a while. I never knew where he was going when he left but as long as he came back, it was okay. Though there was one day he left, he happened to forget his cellphone. I was just sitting at the dining room table eating lunch when suddenly across from me, I noticed Gable's phone vibrating. I grabbed it and was in utter shock when I saw that it came up as Jared Holmes. I didn't answer. Instead, I waited. Eventually the phone stopped ringing and a moment or so later there was a voice mail left. I tapped the icon and hesitantly put the phone to my ear, questioning if listening to it would be right of me to do.
Jared Holmes: Hello there Mr. Gable! Just wanted to congradulate you on your Oscar nom! Thrusday and I were also wondering if we could meet up for coffee sometime after I'm out of this damn hospital bed and discuss some business we think you would be interested in. Call me back.
For a moment I was completely stunned. I had no idea what to make of it. But then a thought went through my head that I could prevent something terrible from happening. In my mind, Jared was the last person Gable needed to be talking to. I didn't want Gable returning to wrestling. There was nothing left there for him besides misery. I could finally do something! I could keep from a terrible event from recurring if I just delete the voice message. But, then I worried if I should. If Gable found out, would he be angry with me? I didn't want to upset him and feel like he couldn't trust me. That would destroy me inside! But, I shook that thought out of my head. It was better to protect him. If he found out. He would forgive me eventually.
I paused for a moment and stared down at his phone. There was a moment stuck in between one choice or the other. Is this what the cat in that damn box felt like in between the state of death and life. Fight or flight...I pushed the delete icon and sent the message into the void. I quickly put the phone back down where I found it as if John would remember exactly where it was. I couldn't get my mind off it for an hour or so. I tried to do anything I thought of distracting me. I tried surfing the internet and looking over my twitter feed. It wasn't until I saw something tweeted by Gable that I was able to forget about it.
“@maltesefalconquest
Today will be remembered as an important day, if not by anyone else, then at least by me... #BigLifePlans #Shhh #ItsASurprise”
I raced through my head trying to figure it out. Was it something involving acting?...wrestling?...
I didn't ask him about it when he got home but it was visually obvious that he was in much higher spirits. He even bought some wine while he was out. I was so happy that he was feeling better that I had completely forgotten everything from earlier. But it wasn't until later that night that I found out. He made a big meal...did you know this man can cook? He made two steaks and a salad with even a nice small chocolate cake for desert. It was amazing. He told me that he used to cook for the casts in the low-low-low budget plays he would take part in. He was laughing and reminiscing and I was hoping that it would never end. We got through a bottle of wine and dinner. He pulled out the cake but before he cut a piece, he walked over to me after placing it on the table, got down on his knees and looked up at me as I sat at the table. I remember being confused until he started in.
John Gable: Lisa...I never...
I couldn't wait, I knew what all this meant. It was the one thing he couldn't hide on his face no matter what he did. I hopped off my chair and wrapped my arms around him.
Lisa Seymour: Yes...you don't even have to ask...
John leaned back and pulled the box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal the ring. I couldn't help but tearing up. This was the best moment of my life. The following week I couldn't stop staring at the ring. It was happiness with no end...Almost...
After a few weeks, I remember being woken up by him packing up on a Sunday. Half a wake, I had a hard time comprehending what was going on. He turned to me and with a smile he said the one sentence I wasn't expecting.
John Gable: Get up. We have a flight to catch and business to do!
I rushed out of bed, got everything I could together (still pretty sure I forgot something) and before I knew it, we were out the door. We just made it in time for the plane and even though there was an hour or so to rest on the travel, I couldn't help but feel anxious. He refused to tell me where we were going but he constantly squeezed my hand reassuringly. Eventually we landed and rushed to get a taxi and when we arrived, my heart sank. I saw on a big display outside of the arena “WCF FIFTEEN!”. We drove around to the back and when we stepped out of the taxi there was only one face to great us...
Jared Holmes: Welcome back, John Gable...
~~~(J.G.937)~~~
John Gable: A lot of people have been asking me recently, why are you aligned with #BeachKrew of all people? Why would John Gable, such a high-brow individual of class be working with the low-brow thugish group of nihilists? Well...I was in a dark place for a long time. I hit rock bottom and no one wanted any part of the supposed high-brow individual of class known as John Gable! My name was poison! The only people who reached out to me were the members of #BeachKrew! No one else did! Where was Benjamin Atreyu?! I thought we were pals! But nope, not a single call when I was gone! Where was Vengeance?! We teamed in two different stables but I didn't hear a single peep from him this whole time! Chelsea Armstrong? No! Seifer Black? No! Ana Valentine? Nightrider? Denise? Fuck no!
Not even Scott fucking Savage bothered to call me up! I was supposedly one of his students he sent out into the world but lo-and-behold, nothing from the great and dark over-hyped shit salesman! No, the only people who wanted anything to do with me were #BeachKrew! You wanna talk about why I am teaming with them, its because they are the only decent people in this fucked up society of ours where it is okay to cut people as soon as they become less-than-profitable! I was alone! There was no one there for me!...No, that's not true...
He turned to me and suddenly the violent frustration that had possessed him had completely drained from him and he stared at me with a kind and warm smile as he approached. He took my right hand in his and kissed the top knuckles before giving a gentle squeeze.
John Gable: You were there the whole time. You were standing beside me the whole time. You and me, against the world. You were the one person in all my life that I didn't want to say anything that would offend you and chase you off. I have never felt that need before. Before, it was just all a means to reach the end, but now I don't want to reach the end if you are not there...Do not judge me too harshly, my dear Lisa. I am a despicable creature who does not deserve your love. You have done such good to try and protect me but I drag myself out of your protection to roast myself in flames for purely selfish reasons...
He slowly let my hand down as he stared at it rather than into my eyes, as if specifically avoiding my questioning glance that he knew full well that I was giving him. He chuckled then turned away from me to face the camera once again.
John Gable: Speaking of these purely selfish reasons. I once again return to WCF for it is truly the only place I can return to. I can't bring myself to go back to Hollywood and face the many executives and other such that I have let down for reasons they could not understand. They would not accept me back and if anything, would curse me out as soon as I stepped onto the soil of that beautiful shit hole of a city. I can't bring myself to return to my home town where there are many who told me I would fail on my journey for success. I can't let them have the satisfaction of being right! I'd sooner off myself than watch the smug smile curl up on their twisted faces!
No, WCF is the only place I can come back to. And every time I come back, I think the same thing. All the jokes and the mockery will stop as soon as I hit that ring! That I am going to make them respect me by beating it out of them! That is the whole point of me joining #BeachKrew! They promised me a chance to body the whole damn locker room and get what I deserve! They promise to help people recognize me as something that I always was! The best! But now that they promise me that, I understand that that isn't what is important. Jared and Andre knew something it took me a while to figure out. That there are no needs, just satisfaction! We do because we want to. We kill because it is what we crave. The Trios titles are fun and all, but...
Gable suddenly got real close and whispered this last bit into the camera...
John Gable: We're gonna devour The Sentinels for the fuck of it!
Sometimes it isn't what he says but what it all means. John Gable has always managed to strike deep somewhere. Something in the soul. I think back on the things he said this last week. He stood outside his home. He didn't want to go anywhere special. He just had me set up a tripod outside. He didn't want fancy, he didn't want flair. He was hungry...he wanted to eat...
John Gable: Joey Flash...You know, there are a lot of names that pop into my head from the last few years but that one specifically sticks out. For the longest time, I blamed you, Joey. I did. Or at least I wanted to. I wanted to blame you for the flop of Eye in the Sky. I wanted to blame you for my life crumbling to pieces. Even for this short time I've been gone, I wanted to blame you for that as well, but I couldn't. Because honestly, I knew deep down that Eye in the Sky had no chance. All the things I have learned about the theatre going audience and the mass of pop-culture in general, they would have no interest in a movie like this. And I think that is the exact reason a part of me was attracted to a project like that. Forever I told myself it was because it was a major project that would succeed and make me a super star. But really, now that I think about it, I think the reason was that I would stick out amongst all the lack-luster and underwhelming aspects; that my abilities would shine and I could steal the spotlight.
That is what I have always done. It has always been my strategy. Teaming with Rebellion, S-PAC, and Angels of Destruction...I don't think I had any other motivation other than to use their small-time presence and be the apparent diamond that shines that much brighter surrounded by nothing but shit. I was never a team player and I have always put myself in that spot of failure for being as such. So, no I can't blame you, Joey Flash, when my track-record is put in such a light. Your victory over me, on that opening weekend in the box office, was just the exclamation point to the situation I got myself into! And it was humiliating and you only served to raise that humiliation!
Realizing that, I wanted to move on! I wanted to forget about the whole incident and let it go. But something wouldn't let me! It wasn't your fault, Joey! It wasn't your fault! This whole time I tried telling myself that. There would be no justice in taking all this out on you! You were simply the better man!...But that is when it hit me. It wasn't about justice. You see, when we faced each other, I said a lot of words of praise. I am sure you remember them! I said them because of multiple reasons!
...I remember a moment when you held the Television champion, I was too busy filming to watch WCF, but I remember someone calling me up and telling me “Gable! There is this guy named Flash and he is undefeated and getting close to taking your record!” The first thing I thought was “Fuck it, let him! I am on to better things now.” The whole point was to jump start my career again, so I didn't need that record anymore! Let some no name wrestling bastard have it!...
But then it started to bother me. Just as an itch at first but then that itch started to grow until it was the only thing on my mind! You see for a long time, the T.V title reign was the ONLY thing I had. That record was my claim to fame! How sad is that?! So, even though I wanted so bad not to care, I couldn't help but feel that some one was encroaching into my territory! That the ground work I put down was being violated! So, I HAD to tune in one slam to see this guy. It was March first of last year. I will forever remember that date. It was one long anxiety attack until we finally reached the match I was waiting for. Middle of the show, fifth match of the night. Wasn't that long of a wait but it felt like forever. And then when it started, I held my breath for the whole match, flinching at every false finish until the final moment came. Grime locked in a submission and I was out of my seat when all of a sudden...JOEY FLASH PASSED THE FUCK OUT! His undefeated streak broken and his title reign that threatened mine was brought to an end. I cheered out so loudly that the hotel gave me a call to make sure I was alright. I was in ecstasy for the next week, feeling like the greatest man to walk the Earth. Life couldn't have been any more perfect than in that one moment...Fast forward a bit...
I'm back in the WCF, trying my best to promote my movie. It was the Monday before opening weekend and I find out that I am facing Joey Flash! I thought “Here is my chance to put the nail in his coffin.” In my mind, it was all but competitively confirmed that I was better than you for the mere fact that you couldn't take my record. I was still the best Television champion which in turn meant I was better than you! So, in a selfish way that praise was my means of standing that much higher when I would beat you. But, there was always a part of me that had this strange feeling...This slight feeling that everything was going to go wrong. You see, deep down, much like how I knew the movie was going to flop, I knew I wasn't going to walk out the winner. I was fooling myself, trying to act like I was the big dog. But Joey Flash was the real competitor. He was the one the rampage! I was just playing make believe exactly how I spent my life learning to. I knew that. So, I tried to lessen the blow as much as possible sub-consciously by painting you as this success, so that losing to you wouldn't seem so unreasonable.
I got myself stuck in a web of self-delusion. Because nothing was going to lessen that fucking blow! It hurt! My god, did it hurt! Because not only did you beat me, Joey, but you took away my self-delusion! No longer could I pretend I was some how better than you with some stupid insignificant numbers. I had to face the reality that everyone knew despite the statistics! That Joey Flash was better than me no matter what I did! I felt like a fool when I was left in that ring and not even shock filled the arena! The people weren't silent with upset or cheering because they were surprised! They were shuffling around with a secure sense of confirmation!
Square one all over again! I had no acting career to go back to, no longer a threat to anyone! Next week I faced Bates and creamed him, thinking that was going to make me feel better but I still felt empty! Unsatisfied! Because it didn't change anything that happened the week before! From the best moment in my life straight down to the worst! But god damn it, I still couldn't blame you! I caused my own humiliation. But isn't going to stop me from coming after you! I have a change that mistake I made by smashing the invincible Joey Flash, to put myself back on top! To finally get your name out of my head! And the Trios titles are the cherries on the Sundae. I'll steal them away from you like you stole my delusion away from me and then you will know how I felt! Because god damn it! Someone else should know how it feels!
You'll do your same ol' routine, acting like shit doesn't phase you. Acting so indestructible. That is how you win even when you lose! Mr. Flash just lets it all slide right off! But I will know the truth! Because I know a fucking actor when I see one! You put on your twisted and sarcastic smile, mocking who ever is the flavor of the week and when ever they start striking back, you are all “Whatever, faggot!” And laugh your ass off as you watch them turn red! You make everyone else a joke. You tear into them like they're nothing but paper and everyone cheers. But the truth is that you do it because you can't bother to be invested! Honestly, Joey, if you aren't an actor, then you are just spineless!
It's true! Look at the lengths you are willing to go! Look at who you've been teaming with! Didn't you break Howard Black's arm?! Didn't Dune kill your fucking child!? But yet here we are! Facing the New Sentinels like nothing ever happened! Is this another aspect of Joey not letting shit get to him?...I'll tell you exactly what it is. I am not the only gold chaser around here! You, just like everyone else, are obsessed with success! Sure, first teaming with The Sentinels was about vengeance in a way, but soon it became about those god damn titles! And when Howard Black was gone, The Sentinels' status as Trios Champs were in jeopardy! All of a sudden, Dune, defeated and humiliated – much like I was – makes a brilliantly timed move and comes crawling to you guys all like “I'm sowwy guys! I was a being a big ol' meanie! Can I join you guys and hold them fancy titles with you?” And being the opportunists you were, you and Occulo decided to let him in! Who gives a fuck about your dead kid when you can continue to have a good spot in the company! You all had gold on your minds. You are no better than me and I am going to fucking prove that shit when we come out to that ring and rip those titles off your mother fucking corpses! And then you won't be able to fool anyone into thinking this is just another week! The man you so securely beat not long ago and made an example out of coming back and making you his bitch with the help of the rest of #BeachKrew is too big to ignore!
There was a small pause as Gable chuckled and rubbed the stubble on his chin, looking off to the side...contemplating. Seeing him so alive again was almost slightly frightening. Even as I sit by myself, in this house, I can't stop feeling so disturbed by this change of the person I have gotten to know over these last few months, in the quiet of his own home...
I've been here for a while now; in this house where he remains hidden. I'm becoming familiar with the night and day of every room. No longer feeling separate from the décor. It is like home now. To a point I have to ask if it's not my home now...They told me to keep an eye on him, to make sure he wouldn't do anything drastic. But from what I have observed, it seems that now John would be the last one to do anything of the like. He seemed so different than before. He was quiet and still. He wasn't rushing about himself; trying to keep up with the crumbling foundation. He was just a walking statue. His steps were patient and strong but they didn't make the floor creak. His breaths were deep and even but it didn't interrupt the flow of the air. His voice was confident and piercing but he didn't say much at all anymore. John Gable was not here. It was just a motion being watched as the days went by...He was waiting like they told him to.
But I know what you are wondering. Why did John Gable stop wrestling? What happened to that lawsuit Paramount Studios and him were going to hit WCF with? Well, I can't really answer the last one. I mean I can but there is a lot of variables I can't account for. Maybe I should start at the beginning. It was on the eve of WAR...What an appropriate statement that means so little in retrospect...
Anyway, it was on the eve of WAR. Gable had just beaten Thomas Bates and we had announced that Paramount was filing for a lawsuit for the loss of revenue due to WCF's failure to properly promote the movie like they were contractually obliged to do. Everything was going well, considering...But Gable had an idea that would throw all of that out the window. It wasn't enough to just beat WCF, he wanted to humiliate them like he felt they humiliated him; to challenge them at their own game and show everyone he was the best while still getting Paramount what it wanted. He decided to lay all of it on the line; to take the lawsuit and put it all into a wager. A single match at One...They could choose any opponent to face him. If he wins, they would have to listen to all of Paramount's demands, but if he lost, he would retire from acting and wrestling all together.
He was so elated about the plan that he would spend hours pacing around, thinking about it. Though not so much thinking about it, but more day dreaming about it. He would murmur and mumble to himself, proclaiming it was perfect and that he NEEDED it to happen! The problem was getting the studio to agree to it. This stumped Gable every time he thought about it. Bringing his daydreams to a screeching halt. But eventually he figured out a way...But we will get back to that in a moment.
What's it like in a day of the life of John Gable? I've gotten to become familiar with it. So very familiar with it. The day starts out one of two ways. Either he sleeps in until ten or eleven and even when he does wake up, he will just continue laying there until something causes him to need to get out of bed. Until then, he'll just lay staring at the ceiling. By looking at his face, it is hard to tell if he is deep in thought or not thinking of anything at all; just simply staring his life away. Who knows when he might move. Then there are days that will start like this particular day; up before eight with a pot of coffee already going, newspaper on the table, and him sitting at the dining room table; staring out the window.
I accidentally interrupted his quiet reflection when I first came across it. I had just woken up and stumbled my way into the dining room, attracted by the scent of something brewing; not realizing what exactly I was walking into, and said 'hi'. He didn't seem angry that I had done so. He just, in one awkward movement, suddenly leaned back in his chair and scratched the top of his head for a second as he said hi back. I could tell that he was slapped back into reality abruptly and took a moment, in morning grogginess, to get his mind back in proper order. I felt a little guilty about it and apologized if I had bothered him in the middle of something. While still looking around for something that wasn't me to hold his attention, he quietly responded no, that he was just thinking to himself, nothing important.
It has been a hard few months. It feels like we have been trapped away like secrets; told to wait for the moment where we will be called out. Even though he doesn't show it, I can tell it wasn't easy for Gable. It was a rather embarrassing situation and after what he did, it was almost like sabotage from some mysterious hands pulling at strings. He definitely wasn't the same after it happened. His posture was the first thing to change, almost instantaneously. His shoulders slumped, his back slouched, and his eyes were almost always to the ground as he would drag his feet from one room to the next. And as I said, he became very quiet. I am not sure if it was out of begrudging his predicament or simple because he had nothing to say. I had never seen John without something in the works, without some goal to be achieved, without some kind of point to be made. Even when he was gloomy before, he always had something to say about it. But now...now it just seemed like he was emptied of all his words.
I remember the day. It was Friday and I was about to fly out to Oklahoma City for WAR, ready to cheer Gable on to victory, when I received a call. Seeing it was Gable, I assumed he was calling early to plan out where to meet up after we both got there, only to be surprised by a dejected voice coming from the other side. It was just a short notice, “I'm not going to be able to make it.” then he hung up. I tried calling him back instantly but he refused to pick up. At the time, I had no idea what to make of it. Nothing could come to mind of why he would not “be able to make it.” Weather? Ohio skies were clear. Some no-fly issue? Of all the people in the WCF lockerroom, Gable wouldn't be the one they keep grounded and even if that was the case, he could make a drive out there and still make it in plenty of time. Every option I could think of wouldn't stop Gable from going to WAR. He was practically foaming at the mouth, going mad with anticipation.
It was a little difficult but I managed to switch out my ticket for Cleveland, Ohio and got on the earliest possible flight that I could then took the first taxi I saw out to Gable's house. It was late when I arrived, close to midnight. I walked up to the front door and knocked as loudly as I could. No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I told him to let me in, admittedly screamed it. But once again no answer. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach. I reached for the door knob and found out the door was unlocked. I hesitantly pushed it open and walked in. In the distance, I heard the sound of the T.V. I slowly walked into the living room where I saw Gable slouched down into the couch which was an odd sight to see. The Apartment was playing, one of Gable's favorites. It was the seen where Jack Lemon's character found out that his boss (played by Fred MacMurray) was using his apartment to hook up with the elevator operator he liked (played by Shirley MacLaine) and having lost all ambition, decides to go slumming around the bars. Gable didn't budge when I entered, not sure if he was trying to ignore me or he was just so sucked into his own mind that nothing around him registered.
At first my voice failed me but then suddenly I was overcome with a rage as he refused to to acknowledge me. I was offended and hurt that he didn't seem to think about how any of this drama was affecting me. I shouted...
Lisa Seymour: What the hell is going on?!? You can't just call me up, say a few words and refuse to answer me when I try to call you back! I was worried! I thought you might have been hurt or something! I couldn't possibly conceive any other reason you would keep from going! But then I see you are just sitting around on the couch watching movies! What the fuck are you doing!?
He paused the movie and turned his head towards me. It was then that I saw that his eyes were bloodshot and that his face was a blotchy red, his mouth twitched for a brief pause before he leaned forward and held his head with his hand and his fingers in his hair. I approached quietly and took a seat next to him on the couch.
Lisa Seymour: Gable...tell me...what happened?
His voice was shaky and his teeth gritted. For a moment he struggled trying to get the first few words out.
John Gable: They...they told me not to go...That I'm to stay home and lay low. That I am not to speak with anyone from WCF or Paramount. That I am on lock down until further notice.
Lisa Seymour: Who...
But it didn't take me long to figure it out. There were only two people that I could see Gable getting the message from and following it. They were the two that had been there since the beginning. The two people Gable followed blindly with their promises of his future career in their hands. They were the ones who thought of the whole lawsuit business. Steve Curtz and Philip Berger.
I have no idea what relation the two have with each other, in fact I don't even know who Steve Curtz is but Gable seems to regard him highly (whether out of respect or fear, sometimes I can't tell). All I know is he was there when Gable went to see the executives about turning the lawsuit into a wager. Both him and Philip Berger were waiting for us when he arrived. Both of them had grins that seemed a mile wide and I am not sure if Gable noticed it but as we were approaching I noticed the two exchanged a glance that didn't seem to mean much at the time but sent a spike through my heart. Was this what they traded knowingly in their thoughts?
We walked down the hall, on our way to the meeting room where the big wigs were all waiting. Philip was joyously talking Gable's ear off about how he was going to knock them dead, as I trailed a little ways behind. Mr. Curtz, who I had known very little about at the time, dropped back towards me which caused my anxiety – which was already building – to spike.
Steve Curtz: He's important to you, isn't he?
He stated in a whisper. I remained silent, filled with the strange sense that there was some kind of trap in his question. He smiled in a soft manner but in that kind of way I always associated with preachers and priest practicing in the mirror until they seemed like they were proficiently filled with the “warmth of God”. Gable wasn't the only skeptic alive.
Steve Curtz: He is a very important individual whether people realize it or not. There are very important plans for him in the future.
Almost like a script, how a line can sound like two different things given the right context. Then, it was empty, now...it was haunting.
Lisa Seymour: He is important, but sometimes that means more when it concerns less people.
He chuckled warmly. I was still unable to remove the idea of a man of god out of my head, as if he was just doing “the lords work” when he did anything involving John.
Steve Curtz: I understand...Oh, the room is just right up ahead. If you want to see some real Oscar caliber acting, just watch Gable when he enters this meeting...
And indeed I did. John was always seamless when stepping into character but if you watch him the whole time, you can see when he switches. Especially with executives, he became almost like a mocking bird, with a sing-song way of speaking as if performing for his supper. Gable went in with one intention: to convince the studio to let him do things his way. And boy, was he prepared. It was a more convincing performance than I had ever seen in a movie or play. Especially considering that Gable had nothing nice to say about any executives ever. He always called them lazy bastards who only had to sign their name on the dotted line without ever caring whose career they were burying. Sociopaths, he would call them. But here he was their best friends. Laughing at their jokes, making them laugh in turn.
He didn't bother to take a seat. He walked around that meeting room as if he was on a stage and the blocking was thoroughly planned out. He was smiling, sometimes with teeth when he needed to seem excited, sometimes just a smirk if he needed to seem kind. He would pass one or two people and the third person he would pat on the shoulder to emphasize a point. He would make eye contact with all of them. It is always the small things the actor does that makes them great. Delivering a line was secondary compared to what he can tell you in his movements.
But don't misunderstand me. His words were probably the only things more thought out that his actions. Using specific words to create unity and diminish inner quarrels. He always said “we”, unless it came to the actual “hard work” then he would use “me” as if he would take all the burden to himself. He would repeat such phrases as “the real enemy here is the WCF!” creating a target perfect for striking, but emphasizing “we have to go about it the right way. Money isn't enough. We need to humiliate them equally if not more than they humiliated us! We need to beat them at THEIR game!”...There is another word that came up a lot. Game. As if this was all some sort of game to all of them, especially Gable. As if all the people there were just pieces...Was I just a pawn? Was he just using me for his end game...No. I can't think like that.
Some people were easier to win over than others but being the pro that Gable was, he spotted the people were holding out and worked them over until they had no choice but agree. The hardest target to win over was Mr. Edward Holmes. This was the first time I had ever seen him, but I could tell before I even knew who he was I could tell he was the focus of all the power in the room. There was no leaving until Gable could get him to say yes.
This was easier said than done. At first, he was quiet as Gable went around and pitched his idea. But the farther Gable got into his performance, the more Mr. Holmes decided to speak up. It seemed that almost every point Gable made, Mr. Holmes had a question or comment about, trying to poke holes. Gable was confident and steady for the most part but it seemed at points that John was starting to get irritated and frustrated, gritting his teeth as he tried to answer for everything. But then came the last question...
Edward Holmes: And what if you were to, say, disappear on us? For some reason flake in the heat of the moment? What then.
John pounded on the table in pure confidence and replied.
John Gable: Mr. Holmes, if I leave there will be no future for me! You have my word! That I am into this to the very end! There would be no way in hell that I would run away from this! I need this even more than you do!
Edward Holmes smiled, stood up and reached out his hand. Gable shook it firmly as the surrounding people clapped and patted themselves on the back. Well, done Gable. Bravo...Bravo, Gable...
What did all that mean in the end? Now that I was sitting next to this destroyed man. He didn't say anything for the rest of the night. We finished the movie and then he went to bed without a word as I stayed on the couch with the idea at least staying until late tomorrow. That was until I got a call. I checked my phone but it was an unlisted name and number. I answered and instantly recognized the voice on the other end.
Steve Curtz: Stay with him. Make sure he doesn't do anything drastic. You are his protector now. You are the only one that can be there for him...
And so I stayed. I tried to reason it out that I wanted to make sure he would be alright. That he should have someone with him during this hard time. He didn't protest at all. In fact, it was hard to get any kind of reaction out of him for a long time. It wasn't until a week or two in that we had a real conversation. It was awkward at first, not knowing what to say. It seemed like we were both trying to keep off certain subjects. But after a bit of talking, we started slipping back into familiarity and honestly it seemed like now more than ever he was more open and honest than I had ever known him to be. We ended up learning about each other, both trading stories of when we were younger and what exactly interested us as we grew up. Eventually an interesting subject came up. I don't remember how we got to it but I remember Gable asked the question first. We were sitting out at the dinning room table just having a nice late chat when he asked...
John Gable: So...Was there anybody...ya' know, before you went off and decided to be reborn into the world of acting? Did little Ms. Seymour have someone in her life?
I grimaced slightly. Had it been someone else, could have probably have found myself blushing and chuckling a little but something just weighed down inside me. As if I wanted to get to the subject first but in a much different way...
Lisa Seymour: Not before I left. In fact, it was a relationship I just got out of that made me take the jump. I won't go into great detail but he was kind of a nut job, super jealous type. I would say something and he would accuse me of this or that or always think I was leaving him. To a point, he was even jealous I was such a big fan of yours at the time.
John Gable: Haha! You didn't have a poster of me or anything in your room that might have contributed to this, did you?
He was teasing me but I didn't really think much on the comment. I just looked down to my hands and twiddled my thumbs. It was a bad memory but I wanted him to know about it.
Lisa Seymour: No...The whole thing was just so fucked...He actually was committed at one point though when he attacked an ex of mine when I received a text from him asking about one of our old-class mates he saw a while back. Almost stuck a knife right in him. I had to leave right after. I couldn't help but feel it was all my fault!
Gable fell silent. I heard as he stood up and walked around the table and sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and leaned in to look into my eyes but I looked away but he lightly touched my chin and guided my eyes back to his face.
John Gable: People are cruel. I am just as cruel as the rest of them, if not worse at points. But you, you are innocent of all of them. You are just trapped into the complex that makes all of us so terrible. Don't blame yourself for what the rest of us created.
I don't know what came over me but suddenly those years I spent blaming myself felt like spilling out of my body. Suddenly I found my face tucked into his shoulder as his arms were securely wrapped around me. I wanted to feel embarrassed, like this wasn't supposed to happen at all but I just felt comfortable, secure, I finally felt okay. We moved out into the living room after I managed to get a grip on myself. But something in me failed to really escape John's arms after he put in a movie and we sat on the couch. He placed his arm around me and I felt the urge to rest my head on his shoulder. We didn't finish the movie.
Not all days were as much of a break through. In fact, most days he was still quiet and sullen. Though he did get out of the house once in a while. I never knew where he was going when he left but as long as he came back, it was okay. Though there was one day he left, he happened to forget his cellphone. I was just sitting at the dining room table eating lunch when suddenly across from me, I noticed Gable's phone vibrating. I grabbed it and was in utter shock when I saw that it came up as Jared Holmes. I didn't answer. Instead, I waited. Eventually the phone stopped ringing and a moment or so later there was a voice mail left. I tapped the icon and hesitantly put the phone to my ear, questioning if listening to it would be right of me to do.
Jared Holmes: Hello there Mr. Gable! Just wanted to congradulate you on your Oscar nom! Thrusday and I were also wondering if we could meet up for coffee sometime after I'm out of this damn hospital bed and discuss some business we think you would be interested in. Call me back.
For a moment I was completely stunned. I had no idea what to make of it. But then a thought went through my head that I could prevent something terrible from happening. In my mind, Jared was the last person Gable needed to be talking to. I didn't want Gable returning to wrestling. There was nothing left there for him besides misery. I could finally do something! I could keep from a terrible event from recurring if I just delete the voice message. But, then I worried if I should. If Gable found out, would he be angry with me? I didn't want to upset him and feel like he couldn't trust me. That would destroy me inside! But, I shook that thought out of my head. It was better to protect him. If he found out. He would forgive me eventually.
I paused for a moment and stared down at his phone. There was a moment stuck in between one choice or the other. Is this what the cat in that damn box felt like in between the state of death and life. Fight or flight...I pushed the delete icon and sent the message into the void. I quickly put the phone back down where I found it as if John would remember exactly where it was. I couldn't get my mind off it for an hour or so. I tried to do anything I thought of distracting me. I tried surfing the internet and looking over my twitter feed. It wasn't until I saw something tweeted by Gable that I was able to forget about it.
“@maltesefalconquest
Today will be remembered as an important day, if not by anyone else, then at least by me... #BigLifePlans #Shhh #ItsASurprise”
I raced through my head trying to figure it out. Was it something involving acting?...wrestling?...
I didn't ask him about it when he got home but it was visually obvious that he was in much higher spirits. He even bought some wine while he was out. I was so happy that he was feeling better that I had completely forgotten everything from earlier. But it wasn't until later that night that I found out. He made a big meal...did you know this man can cook? He made two steaks and a salad with even a nice small chocolate cake for desert. It was amazing. He told me that he used to cook for the casts in the low-low-low budget plays he would take part in. He was laughing and reminiscing and I was hoping that it would never end. We got through a bottle of wine and dinner. He pulled out the cake but before he cut a piece, he walked over to me after placing it on the table, got down on his knees and looked up at me as I sat at the table. I remember being confused until he started in.
John Gable: Lisa...I never...
I couldn't wait, I knew what all this meant. It was the one thing he couldn't hide on his face no matter what he did. I hopped off my chair and wrapped my arms around him.
Lisa Seymour: Yes...you don't even have to ask...
John leaned back and pulled the box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal the ring. I couldn't help but tearing up. This was the best moment of my life. The following week I couldn't stop staring at the ring. It was happiness with no end...Almost...
After a few weeks, I remember being woken up by him packing up on a Sunday. Half a wake, I had a hard time comprehending what was going on. He turned to me and with a smile he said the one sentence I wasn't expecting.
John Gable: Get up. We have a flight to catch and business to do!
I rushed out of bed, got everything I could together (still pretty sure I forgot something) and before I knew it, we were out the door. We just made it in time for the plane and even though there was an hour or so to rest on the travel, I couldn't help but feel anxious. He refused to tell me where we were going but he constantly squeezed my hand reassuringly. Eventually we landed and rushed to get a taxi and when we arrived, my heart sank. I saw on a big display outside of the arena “WCF FIFTEEN!”. We drove around to the back and when we stepped out of the taxi there was only one face to great us...
Jared Holmes: Welcome back, John Gable...
~~~(J.G.937)~~~
John Gable: A lot of people have been asking me recently, why are you aligned with #BeachKrew of all people? Why would John Gable, such a high-brow individual of class be working with the low-brow thugish group of nihilists? Well...I was in a dark place for a long time. I hit rock bottom and no one wanted any part of the supposed high-brow individual of class known as John Gable! My name was poison! The only people who reached out to me were the members of #BeachKrew! No one else did! Where was Benjamin Atreyu?! I thought we were pals! But nope, not a single call when I was gone! Where was Vengeance?! We teamed in two different stables but I didn't hear a single peep from him this whole time! Chelsea Armstrong? No! Seifer Black? No! Ana Valentine? Nightrider? Denise? Fuck no!
Not even Scott fucking Savage bothered to call me up! I was supposedly one of his students he sent out into the world but lo-and-behold, nothing from the great and dark over-hyped shit salesman! No, the only people who wanted anything to do with me were #BeachKrew! You wanna talk about why I am teaming with them, its because they are the only decent people in this fucked up society of ours where it is okay to cut people as soon as they become less-than-profitable! I was alone! There was no one there for me!...No, that's not true...
He turned to me and suddenly the violent frustration that had possessed him had completely drained from him and he stared at me with a kind and warm smile as he approached. He took my right hand in his and kissed the top knuckles before giving a gentle squeeze.
John Gable: You were there the whole time. You were standing beside me the whole time. You and me, against the world. You were the one person in all my life that I didn't want to say anything that would offend you and chase you off. I have never felt that need before. Before, it was just all a means to reach the end, but now I don't want to reach the end if you are not there...Do not judge me too harshly, my dear Lisa. I am a despicable creature who does not deserve your love. You have done such good to try and protect me but I drag myself out of your protection to roast myself in flames for purely selfish reasons...
He slowly let my hand down as he stared at it rather than into my eyes, as if specifically avoiding my questioning glance that he knew full well that I was giving him. He chuckled then turned away from me to face the camera once again.
John Gable: Speaking of these purely selfish reasons. I once again return to WCF for it is truly the only place I can return to. I can't bring myself to go back to Hollywood and face the many executives and other such that I have let down for reasons they could not understand. They would not accept me back and if anything, would curse me out as soon as I stepped onto the soil of that beautiful shit hole of a city. I can't bring myself to return to my home town where there are many who told me I would fail on my journey for success. I can't let them have the satisfaction of being right! I'd sooner off myself than watch the smug smile curl up on their twisted faces!
No, WCF is the only place I can come back to. And every time I come back, I think the same thing. All the jokes and the mockery will stop as soon as I hit that ring! That I am going to make them respect me by beating it out of them! That is the whole point of me joining #BeachKrew! They promised me a chance to body the whole damn locker room and get what I deserve! They promise to help people recognize me as something that I always was! The best! But now that they promise me that, I understand that that isn't what is important. Jared and Andre knew something it took me a while to figure out. That there are no needs, just satisfaction! We do because we want to. We kill because it is what we crave. The Trios titles are fun and all, but...
Gable suddenly got real close and whispered this last bit into the camera...
John Gable: We're gonna devour The Sentinels for the fuck of it!
