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Post by "Mister Average" Lee Roberts on Jan 21, 2016 19:59:25 GMT -5
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Post by Gemini Battle on Jan 21, 2016 20:22:56 GMT -5
Good introduction rp. Few formatting issues but those are easily fixed and it just may be my phone
It was a great way to get into the mind of the character. I liked the use of the narrator in the beginning. I would like to see more of that. It would be cool to use the narrator as the voice of the scene descriptions. Instead of telling us what he's doing use the narrator to say it. When I read narrator I hear Morgan freeman and that's never a bad thing
[he takes a deep breath and continues]
You used it twice. I see what you're doing here to break up your shoot. Don't use the same break twice and try to be a bit more creative with them
Intro rps are the hardest. You did a good gob introducing the character and telling us a little about him. Just make sure to make him interesting. He really is anything but average.
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Post by "Mister Average" Lee Roberts on Jan 21, 2016 21:04:48 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback. It was my first roleplay as this character. I will include The narrator in future roleplays. Thanks again.
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Post by Gemini Battle on Jan 21, 2016 21:09:55 GMT -5
That's just the opinion of one average role player. It's a voice and style that no one else has here that I know of which is why I like it
I see it as like the Truman show. Except he knows he's being filmed all the time.
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Post by Stuart Slane on Jan 22, 2016 8:06:54 GMT -5
Nice start. I would say one thing you will need to do more in WCF in future promos is talk about your opponents. Since all the guys in the match with you are also wrestling for the first time, you can't really discuss their won/loss record or anything related to the fed, but you can look at their gimmicks and contrast them with yours. You got the rich guy heel (Adam Bass), the enigmatic anti-hero (CJ Phoenix) and the trash-talking thug (Brenx) going up against Mr. Everyman (you). That's something you can bring up to sell the match.
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Post by "Mister Average" Lee Roberts on Jan 22, 2016 9:42:15 GMT -5
Nice start. I would say one thing you will need to do more in WCF in future promos is talk about your opponents. Since all the guys in the match with you are also wrestling for the first time, you can't really discuss their won/loss record or anything related to the fed, but you can look at their gimmicks and contrast them with yours. You got the rich guy heel (Adam Bass), the enigmatic anti-hero (CJ Phoenix) and the trash-talking thug (Brenx) going up against Mr. Everyman (you). That's something you can bring up to sell the match. You make a great point! Will keep that in mind for next week. Thanks for the feedback.
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Post by "Mister Average" Lee Roberts on Jan 27, 2016 15:36:22 GMT -5
Any feedback for my PPV roleplay? Would like to hear it.
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Post by Gemini Battle on Jan 27, 2016 17:32:22 GMT -5
Good introduction rp. Few formatting issues but those are easily fixed and it just may be my phone It was a great way to get into the mind of the character. I liked the use of the narrator in the beginning. I would like to see more of that. It would be cool to use the narrator as the voice of the scene descriptions. Instead of telling us what he's doing use the narrator to say it. When I read narrator I hear Morgan freeman and that's never a bad thing [he takes a deep breath and continues] You used it twice. I see what you're doing here to break up your shoot. Don't use the same break twice and try to be a bit more creative with them Intro rps are the hardest. You did a good gob introducing the character and telling us a little about him. Just make sure to make him interesting. He really is anything but average. Gem is really on the money...
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Post by Cormack MacNeill on Jan 30, 2016 19:47:54 GMT -5
Any feedback for my PPV roleplay? Would like to hear it. In this place, Odin is the one you really want a review from. He's brutally honest and very helpful. I just wanted to say I thought it was a great read. I enjoyed it.
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Post by "Mister Average" Lee Roberts on Jan 30, 2016 19:50:36 GMT -5
Thanks man!
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