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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 16:26:44 GMT -5
Via WCF.com
"At 4:00 Eastern Time, dozens of men and women in Guy Fawkes masks showed up outside WCF professional wrestler Dag Riddik's Roanoke estate. He doesn't seem to have noticed yet, but the crowd is growing larger seemingly by the minute. Many hold signs carrying slogans such as 'Down with Riddik's Rights,' 'Daggers for Dag,' and simply 'You're a cisgender mosygnistic meninazi oppressive bitch head shitlord fuckwad.' Knowing Dag Riddik like the company does so far, it is unlikely these protestors will remain unanswered by the outgoing and opinionated Dag. WCF will remain at the scene to report if (when) the situation escalates."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 16:38:45 GMT -5
Via WCF.com
"The crowd's chants were beginning to pick up until Dag began blasting his entrance theme, Aenima by Tool, throughout his centralized surround sound speaker system. With lyrics which basically just say fuck everything liberal, the protestors are becoming very agitated. WCF will continue to provide updates as the situation escalates."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 17:31:42 GMT -5
Via WCF.com
"WCF can now confirm Dag is throwing buckets of scalding water off his wooden balconies at any protestor who gets to close. He can be heard shouting, 'This is fun! It's like whack-a-mole, but with even uglier and stupider creatures! I wonder if Virginia has a stand your ground law or something like that? Shall I go whaling?' Some protestors held their phones in the air claiming to be dialing 911 at Dag's perceived threats, however their phones were promptly disabled by the water and their arms burned. WCF.com will continue to provide updates to this bizarre situation."
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Post by Joey Flash on Dec 30, 2015 17:57:16 GMT -5
Via WCF.com
"At 4:00 Eastern Time, dozens of men and women in Guy Fawkes masks showed up outside WCF professional wrestler Dag Riddik's Roanoke estate. He doesn't seem to have noticed yet, but the crowd is growing larger seemingly by the minute. Many hold signs carrying slogans such as 'Down with Riddik's Rights,' 'Daggers for Dag,' and simply 'You're a cisgender mosygnistic meninazi oppressive bitch head shitlord fuckwad.' Knowing Dag Riddik like the company does so far, it is unlikely these protestors will remain unanswered by the outgoing and opinionated Dag. WCF will remain at the scene to report if (when) the situation escalates." @mrflash I had this same guy camped outside my estate for a time. -J |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 17:58:48 GMT -5
Via WCF.com
"At 4:00 Eastern Time, dozens of men and women in Guy Fawkes masks showed up outside WCF professional wrestler Dag Riddik's Roanoke estate. He doesn't seem to have noticed yet, but the crowd is growing larger seemingly by the minute. Many hold signs carrying slogans such as 'Down with Riddik's Rights,' 'Daggers for Dag,' and simply 'You're a cisgender mosygnistic meninazi oppressive bitch head shitlord fuckwad.' Knowing Dag Riddik like the company does so far, it is unlikely these protestors will remain unanswered by the outgoing and opinionated Dag. WCF will remain at the scene to report if (when) the situation escalates." @mrflash I had this same guy camped outside my estate for a time. -J @riddikuler Yeah I thought it was a guy too, but now it's flashing me in the interest of women's rights. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 18:25:29 GMT -5
Via WCF.com
"On-site sources can confirm the mob has been completely dispersed after Dag opened the curtains on his massive living room palisade windows, revealing his 52" flatscreen on which he was playing heterosexual pornography via PS4 internet features. Everyone in the crowd immediately recoiled and vehemently vomited, sprinting away for their Priuses. A WCF reporter is awaiting the opportunity to request a statement from Dag on the situation."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:05:55 GMT -5
The following video was uploaded to WCF.com
The video begins with the WCF broadcaster assigned to the job at Dag's estate. He is standing before Dag's front door. He speaks into the microphone with him and begins knocking on the door.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are here at Dag Riddik's luxurious pseudo-mansion following the, quite frankly bizarre occurrence of the Anonymous protest. We are going to see if we can get Dag's opinion and any statements he might have on the matter."
The door opens and Dag stands in the doorway, iPad in one hand while he shifts his other from the doorknob to its screen as he types another rediculous response to Punkin. He sends it and shoots the representative a look.
"Whatcha want? I'm trying to win a championship here."
The representative faces Dag tall and straight and begins speaking.
"Mr. Riddik, we at WCF just witnessed the strange protest which occurred outside your house-"
"Estate," Dag intterupts. "It's most certainly an estate. Look at this place. Does this look like a house to you? When you got home to your one bedroom single level house, does it look anything like this?"
"Well honestly no, of course, I didn't mean any disrespect, I was only trying to use journalist techniques by not saying the same thing over and over again, I hope you understand."
Dag looks befuddled and shakes his head in disbelief.
"Journal- the- what? Look dude, you're doing it all wrong! Estate is a powerful word! Say it! Say it over and over again because that's a serious, impactful word! You want to be a good journalist? You use powerful words and you drive the point home. There, that's free of charge. Thank me later. Now what in the unholy hell do you want?"
"Well Dag we were hoping you might give us a statement on the unusual demonstration which took place right out here not too long ago."
"A statement? Didn't that clusterfuck speak for itself? You had, what, four dozen gender ambiguous Super-Autismo fat asses sweatng in their jackets, then a couple of 'em started taking their damn clothes off! And they said I was fucked up? Look dude, there's really nothing to say here. I got nothing against you, but the story was there and if you didn't get it then you better really work on your "good journalist" skills. People just don't get it- no matter what anybody does, I'll never mold myself into what the majority wants me to be. I'll never be politically correct. Never. I'll never give a shit about who I piss off. Hell, I hope I offend as many people as possible in every single statement I make. If there's another protest outside my estate I'll consider myself an ever bigger success. Every time someone tries to tell me to knock my shit off, I'll pick up the intensity. Every damn time. I'll be myself til the ends of the Earth because that's how I make a statement and throw up that middle finger to the establishment. Those fucking liberals can try all they want to get me to stop saying things like, kill all faggots, genocide the bronies in gas chambers, all transgenders are retards, etc. etc., but each time they tell me to stop doing something I'll just pick it up even more. Won't they ever learn? They tod me not to own a gun- Shit, I never cared sbout owning a gun in my life til they told me not to, then I went out and bought a freakin assault rifle! They told me not to fly a Confederate flag- you see that? Look up there pal, you see that? Six! Six confederate battle flags! You think those were there before they told me not put them there? I just love pissing people off too god damn much! Speaking of which, I should probably say something to Punkin by now. You happy? Is my statement what ya were lookin for? Good, now get off my fucking yard before I cripple your ass."
Dag slams the door and obnoxiously locks it. The broadcaster turns back to the camera and says,
"Well there you have it WCF, Dag has not been affected by the protest in any way that they intended. Tune into Slam this Monday to find out if Dag pulls through and has his usual state of mind when he faces Punkin Callihan for the number one contendorship for the internet title belt."
"GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!"
The feed ends.
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Post by 6ix God on Jan 1, 2016 14:34:52 GMT -5
@sixgodshark
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 23, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this shit gave me cancer anyway.
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