Professional wrestler removed from Chicago preschool.
Dec 19, 2015 20:22:27 GMT -5
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Post by brao on Dec 19, 2015 20:22:27 GMT -5
An article from SportsChicagoNews.com
Today a man was forcibly removed by security from a Chicago suburb preschool. The man, who had reportedly caused chaos 'all over town' prior to his appearance at the school, gained access to the preschool by claiming to be the uncle of a child who attended it.
"He claimed to be the uncle of a boy named John Hammond," said school Principal Claire McCain. "Though in all honesty I think the surname he came up with was just a lucky name he threw out based on the ham sandwich I was eating for lunch."
The man, a professional wrestler who performs under the moniker Brao Kitt, stormed the school cafeteria, throwing small candy bars in the air and raining them down over the children who were seated at lunch tables. He was quoted as screaming amongst the downfall of sweets: "Battle Royal, Battle Royal, Battle Royal!". This was, at first, perceived to be an attempt at inciting a riot of children. Later though it became clear that what this man was attempting to do was to rally people to a cause.
On the 27th of this month the WCF(Wrestling Championship Federation) will hold their annual super show One. On the card for this event is a battle royal featuring some new members of the WCF roster. Brao Kitt, the man who as previously mentioned had been causing chaos all over town, was in fact rallying the children to build a momentum to influence the WCF to book him as the final entrant into the battle royal.
Besides breaching the security of a preschool, other components to Kitt's plan to be entered into the battle royal were these: Demanding a local bakery make gingerbread men of all the battle royal entrants and having them systematically beheaded by preschool children. Amassing a hord of homeless men outside the town hall to inact the predicted outcome of the battle royal should Brao Kitt be part. Tying two snakes together by their ends and wearing them like a necklace(possibly unrelated to the match). Teaching a flock of birds to repeat the phrase 'battle royal' and releasing them into the streets.
Brao Kitt is currently being held by police though he did make it clear to us in a brief to-the-police-car interview that he would be using his one phone call to enquire about his standing in the battle royal this Sunday at WCF One.
Today a man was forcibly removed by security from a Chicago suburb preschool. The man, who had reportedly caused chaos 'all over town' prior to his appearance at the school, gained access to the preschool by claiming to be the uncle of a child who attended it.
"He claimed to be the uncle of a boy named John Hammond," said school Principal Claire McCain. "Though in all honesty I think the surname he came up with was just a lucky name he threw out based on the ham sandwich I was eating for lunch."
The man, a professional wrestler who performs under the moniker Brao Kitt, stormed the school cafeteria, throwing small candy bars in the air and raining them down over the children who were seated at lunch tables. He was quoted as screaming amongst the downfall of sweets: "Battle Royal, Battle Royal, Battle Royal!". This was, at first, perceived to be an attempt at inciting a riot of children. Later though it became clear that what this man was attempting to do was to rally people to a cause.
On the 27th of this month the WCF(Wrestling Championship Federation) will hold their annual super show One. On the card for this event is a battle royal featuring some new members of the WCF roster. Brao Kitt, the man who as previously mentioned had been causing chaos all over town, was in fact rallying the children to build a momentum to influence the WCF to book him as the final entrant into the battle royal.
Besides breaching the security of a preschool, other components to Kitt's plan to be entered into the battle royal were these: Demanding a local bakery make gingerbread men of all the battle royal entrants and having them systematically beheaded by preschool children. Amassing a hord of homeless men outside the town hall to inact the predicted outcome of the battle royal should Brao Kitt be part. Tying two snakes together by their ends and wearing them like a necklace(possibly unrelated to the match). Teaching a flock of birds to repeat the phrase 'battle royal' and releasing them into the streets.
Brao Kitt is currently being held by police though he did make it clear to us in a brief to-the-police-car interview that he would be using his one phone call to enquire about his standing in the battle royal this Sunday at WCF One.
